Transcription
[Music] Good evening and welcome to another episode of What's So Funny. The show that probes the minds, the brains, the psyches of the people who make the funny. Tonight, an epic episode. Comedy legend Norm Macdonald talks to us for 90 minutes. Nine-zero, folks. It's not all comedy, though. Some topics we discuss are hypochondria, God, and the scientific method. Hilarious but fascinating nonetheless. Word of warning: at about the 30-minute mark, my equipment crapped out, so I went to my backup. It sounds fine, but you will notice a difference in the sound quality. Okay, let's get to this monster. Enjoy the ride. Norm Macdonald.
[Music]
Just talk like this. I won't sound too... sometimes like I sound all with our Jack when I'm too relaxed. Yes, Norm. I heard you interviewed on KGO radio once, and I host, host, thought you were on something. Cisco. Yeah, he has hilarious. And I didn't, I'm so stupid. I don't even realize, like, I didn't even realize the guy kicked me off the air. And you're gonna think it's fun, understand. And then, like, I got home and people were phone, I mean, like, sorry about that thing. I'm like, why? What happened? I didn't even know it's kicked off. But I had like a crazy. People always think I'm on drugs, you know. So I had a crazy chlorine got my eye. And I got hurt my, my cell phone before. So I had sunglasses on. And I show the guy and he's asking me all these stupid questions. I'm all tired. So in between commercials, I'm like, oh, my eye. It's so weird 'cause it was all red. Then he made it sound like, yeah, you were answering questions and I thought, oh, this is interesting. And he would think, all right, I'm gonna try another one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I relisted to it, I realized he kept going, okay, one more time 'cause he has me like. And then his questions were all wrong, too, and stuff. And so I try to correct it. And then he'd be like, okay, I'm gonna try this one more time. But also, he was asking me super serious questions. And then he was mad because I wasn't being hilarious. Supposed to make jokes. And then he would play a clip of you from 20 years ago and say, you don't sound like this anymore. I know, you must be hot. Yeah, it's true. I don't. It's weird hearing your own voice a long time ago because, yeah, I sound completely different. Well, I find, you know, we're about the same age. I find the whole process of aging weird. Yes. Like, how does that happen? When we look at ourselves 20 years ago, at no point along the way do we know that we're changing? No, it's gradual. That's the insid. You. But it has to happen. Yes. I used to think if I'd videotape myself every day, that I wouldn't age. I used to have this crazy theory. If you ever try. No, I was at first. I wasn't. And I also want to have my kid. I was gonna videotape him every single day to see how long that lasts. A few days. Yeah, infants aren't that interesting, it turns out. But, yeah, no, it's aging. Yeah, it's it's like it's it's creeps out. It's like you don't see it. You don't see it from one day to the next. Very clever. This clever. And going back to this guy with the interview, you do every interview, you, anyone ever asks you? Sure. Yeah, right. And you seem to enjoy it. Yeah, I'm fine with talking to people. Have you always been that way, or was it a conscious decision? Because I interview lots of comics. Yeah. And as I told you when we did the phone thing a week or so ago, the first time we talked, it was 90 minutes. And after the fact, I was thinking, you were probably having fun with me, trying to keep me on the line for as long as possible, just to see how long it would be. No, no, I just talked until, until the other guys finished talk. I'd like, well, I don't have a very like, I don't know other Ally do really is right. So I'm, I was like, kind of available. I don't have a busy life. Oh, so then it's good to actually talk to a human. Yeah, that's the thing. I really have to try to focus on in my life is getting out outside of my apartment, talking to human beings. But you said you don't go out anywhere. No, I never. And you don't drink? Well, I don't drinks. I don't go to bars like that, you know. That cuts a lot of social. That cuts almost all social life out. And then I don't like going to restaurants and eating for long periods of time. So, yeah, mostly I'm alone in my apartment. Different when you're on the road. And we went to a nice breakfast, leisurely breakfast. Yes. Nice breakfast is nice. I like diners. Like on the road, I love diners. I don't eat fancy foods. Right. Yeah, yeah, me too. Yeah, I like that. So we went to the Elbow Room a couple times. Yeah, yeah, that's great. They had salt you. It's one of those places where they playfully insult you. Except this is, they do it a little more hard-edged here. Yeah, well, if you, if you invited, I guess. Yes, which you do. It's elderly gay gentlemen that that lambaste you for being gay. Yeah, it's an odd concept, isn't it? It is. That's it's just a strange thing. It's often strange when, like, liberal comedians will do that about Republicans. They'll go, guys probably secretly gay, as if that's bad. Yeah. Okay, I got that favor. I thought they were not homophobic. Turns out homophobia runs deeper than anyone ever suspected. Like, like, you know, as open-minded as you are, like, you know, very few people would, if they had a gay friend, would help that guy, you know, I haven't. Or even orgasm. Sorry, I ever give another guy a [ __ ] even if he was his buddy. Like, if you're a straight guy and your best friend's gay, when I get my hand job, just be a nice thing to do for the guy. But that's how deep homophobia runs, right? I guess there's some, you know, I was, I said that you have this logic. I don't see it there. Yeah. Would you, would you give your gay friend a [ __ ]? Well, would I give my straight female friend a finger baby? No. Yeah, probably. Probably. But would she give her male straight friend a [ __ ]? No. No. But that's 'cause she's a girl. She might. She might give her male gay friend one, though. You know, girls are different when it comes to sex. But you girls are different. Girls are different. We're just talking about, we're talking about that because of the Adam Carolla comments. Yeah. And so I assume you know Adam. Yeah, I know Adam. He's really funny. And very funny. Probably done his show. Yep. He speaks his mind. Yeah, he does. And, and he made the mistake of speaking to a reporter. Yeah. A print reporter. And print reporters, they're the worst. Saying, well, he wasn't saying women aren't funny. Well, maybe he did say that, but they don't try to understand what he's saying. They just take those words. Right. They take the quote. And how do you think this will affect him? I think it's gonna affect him. Well, and because it's not, you're not gonna win saying things like that. But as you see things like, things like, things like that. But the problem is, if you say things like that once, and then they will ask you a thousand times that thing, the same question over and over again, until, till that's all you're talking about, you know, since all of a sudden, 'cause Jerry Lewis famously said women weren't funny 20 years ago, and that's like now part of his legacy as a bizarre. Mm-hmm. And, you know, of course, he was and he is completely understandable because there were no women comedians or, you know, the guys 90 or something. So from his point of view, it's completely understand. It will like, so the thing with, would saying that, though, there are always exceptions. Yes. And also, I was saying that I think he's talking more about in the general population rather than he's talking about, he's generalizing, which is supposed to be a bad time. I was because bad thing. But, yeah, he's generalizing. And I think he even, even said, like, he put it into the idea of, if you were gonna have a pickup basketball game and at random, there were a bunch of African Americans and a bunch of white guys standing around, you would be better suited to pick the African Americans at random and you probably have a better basketball game. And so he was making the point that he wasn't helping its case that didn't know. Instead of just being misogynistic, let's throw in racism. But, you know, then they throw in that they make these words like misogynistic or homophobic, which implies hatred. I mean, doesn't it? Doesn't imply it, it means hatred. So, you know, that's a terrible thing to say about a person. You know, but they hate women or they hate minorities just because they state something that they believed to be a fact. You know, no, we were talking about earlier, like, if you stayed something that you think is a fact, it doesn't mean that you, you were, you can talk about slavery and that doesn't mean you're pro-slavery, you know, by just saying there was slavery. Yeah, he's not saying why we, you know, for all if our, if if women are funny or not, or whatever the social reasons they are, he's not defending any of those reasons that that came into being. But if you say women make less money than men, you know, then is that bad too? I don't know. I thought that was good to say so that women could could rise up, could rise enough. Yeah, so unless you're saying they deserve to make less, let's just say they deserve, right? Yeah. Even when you're careful with your language, people will hear whatever they want to hear. Yeah, people will definitely hear whatever they want to hear. But their backs are so ready already, so up that you can't even begin to talk about this in any kind of rational way. No, of course. And people also, they have no ability to think. Most people, they just, you know, whatever the current stylish thing is to say, you know, I guess we're rather wearying to hear things that you've heard on 200 times you know, a day, told you by someone as if it's the first time you have ever heard that. Like any, any issue. That's why I don't really ever argue about things anymore with politics or religion or anything because I've heard every argument, every kid argument. It's just so dull. Like no one's saying anything new that I haven't heard a trillion times. He's going cycles. Yes, exactly. When I was young, abortion was like a terrible thing and now abortion's fine. So I don't know. Just people seem to just go with a go with whatever the stylish thing is to think, I guess. And in the case of Corolla, I had a situation on Facebook. Somebody made a comment about what he said, made fun of him. And I asked him if he actually read the full quotes. And of course, he hadn't. Right. But he heard other people talking about it. Well, he said this, so there must be some truth to it. If everybody's done. Yes, exactly. And that's fine. If you, if you base your opinion after reading it and going, yeah, no, I think he, he is massaged. I mean, right? At least then you would have something to base it on, rather than just, oh, that's what everyone's talking about. Yeah, definitely. People get their news from, you know, you know, from Facebook updates, which is the equivalent of like, you know, bathroom graffiti or something. You know, and then you don't even know where you're getting your news from. You liked it. I hear that on CNN or did my taxi driver tell me? Like, information gets all muddled up. Yeah. I want to say, just, I, I saw your show three times over the last two days. The third time last night, I was watching you and in my mind, I was going, did he say that already this show, or was that the show before? And so, does it ever get muddled in your mind? Well, I guess muddled that I change the order. Oh, yeah. Sometimes I think of stuff as I'm talking to. And then it becomes something else. All the time. But do you mean, do I think that, did I say this during the set itself? Yeah. Yes, I've thought that before. But, uh, I thought that when I used to think that when I did two or three shows in a row, and on the same night, on the same night. Yeah. And I had my set list. Like, because I mixed myself up all over the place. I definitely go, gosh, did I say that? Or did I, something occurs to me and then it reoccurs. And then I go back to the first point. And then, yes, I'm as I get confused as to. That's a scary feeling. Have you ever done repeated? Yeah, I think I've repeated myself because sometimes you can hear like a sort of a jitter. You know, I'm murmur, murmur, that's it. Laughter. And then what I do is I try to just repeat everything as if I intended to. That's my default. The genius. You. I didn't know that you used to live in Vancouver. Yes. I loved it. Coover. When did you live here? Oh, gosh. When I was a boy. When I was like 1979 or something. 1981. I was a young boy. You bet you were on your own. Yep. But I came here because it was beautiful and there was lots of work. I'm gonna back this back. And what do you work at here? Just like manual labor. I was too young. I had to go like, I was like an undocumented worker, kind of, I guess, looking back. And then we'd stand on the corner and trucks will go by and you get in them and stuff like that. Look, hold on. Oh, no, it wasn't like the depression. It was like, yeah, like if you're standing at the court for temporary labor, like you stand on the corner and then trucks go by and then you all run up to the truck and try to get in. Then they have these other temporary manpower places where they really [ __ ] you or they take almost all the money and they give you like minimum wage. Back then was 315 an hour. So in it. But then the company, that the middleman for the company would make eight, whatever. And then you'd go and then you'd like the world. Like the worse was I were, I was in a garbage truck once. I had the seem fun at the time. It seemed like, hey, that's fun. Like riding on the back of a garbage truck because, you know, you're riding, you're standing up. It looked fun when I was a kid. Right. Yeah, yeah. But, but first of all, the guy goes way faster than you think, the driver. Like, you'd never have time. And then people put everything in their garbage. Like, it'd be, you pick up the garbage can be filled with sod, weigh like 200 pounds. Then the next place would be like a couch that's broken in half. And then you're exhausted. And then funny, I suppose you go, they all, all the garbageman went to the same place for lunch. So they completely ruin this [ __ ] guy's business. Just thinking as a resurrection stuff of garbage. And so he had no other clientele after all. And then, so you're exhausted. And everything at the end of the day, like, you're so tired. And then that you drive to the dump, which is the worst place. This is like hell itself, you know, there's little fires all over, there's rats running around everywhere. And then you drive home. And then I had to get on a bus. And you smell like garbage. So I did that like two days. Okay. My worst job. All those other jobs where I had, like, I remember one job. Like, when you're when you're doing these day jobs, man, you, they'll just make you do anything. And there's this one where I was, I had all this chemical stuff and I had to put like plastic and I don't know what it was. But I remember there's a trough of chemicals that I was breathing in eight straight hours. That explains a lot. How long did you live here? Probably eight months. I lived on the right here. And I know I lived in my hometown, Victoria. Story. I kept going back and forth because Victoria was was easier. Was easier to live when you had no place to stay. And then Vancouver's a little rough, a little rougher. And so we were there at the same time. I may have come across you. I was there. I was that the years you were there like 19. I grew up in here. Yeah. And about 1979-1982 or something. So, yeah. I mean, you, you quit school to come out because I was still in high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your parents pleased with your decision? I don't know. I might, my dad was real old when he had me. So he was like, oh, wait. How old was he when he had his? 50. Okay, good. So he was in the depression. Is actually in the actual depression. So he left home when he was early, when he was young, because everybody had to. So he didn't mind it that much. But now looking back, now that I have a kid, I was like, oh my god, I must have worried my mother like crazy. Yeah, because my son, I'm worried about him all the time. You know, it's fine. Your age. Das. Your when you moved when you have a child, like you realize like the love that your parents have for you because, you know, and then how unrequited it is because, you know, I love my, my mom, but, you know, if she phones, it's not the most thrilling moment of my day. But, but I call my kid constantly. And I feel like the same thing is just like, you're angry and he has something fun to do. And I'm like, can we talk later? But it's very strange. You'll find this out, guy, when they leave, it's a great moment for them. And it's the worst moment your life. Yeah. So it's very odd. That thing I've never experienced. I'll be in a home by noon, though. You know, home. Yeah. So he hasn't left yet. Oh, yeah, he's in, he's in college. He's gone. Hey, but, you know, the texting is great. I like the texting because it avoids like long awkward silences because you go, how's school? How's your courses? Did you play basketball? To see a basketball game? You know, and then you run out of stuff. But on there, texting, you have time to think, write, and compose like a thought. But then it breaks your heart when he, when he just stops replying at some point during the conversation. At the end, no one says goodbye, they just vanish. It's got in some time. Yeah, I love that texting. It's taking, oh, it's taking all awkward long silences where he could possibly say something wrong out of the equation. Yeah. And also, you don't want to interrupt someone. Yes. That's very true. Yeah. Let them get to it when they get to it. Yeah, that's a good point. Hello, this is Gil Godfrey. You're listening to What's So Funny on CFRO 102.7 FM. And it's also on podcast in iTunes. But I wouldn't pay attention to the show on anything it's on if it was right in front of me. I wouldn't be listening or watching or paying attention. You, you have two brothers too? Yes. And today, leave home early? Too. No, they didn't. So you were the black sheep? Yeah, they were responsible. And he still are. Neal McDonough. That's very responsible adults. I love telling people that don't know that your brother is Neil. Moment. You know, I'm serious. Like, yeah. Now, I heard, I don't know if this is true. I don't know where I heard it, that he was funnier than you as a kid. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was the funny kid. Yeah, 'cause, well, because I never like spoke or anything. He shy. Yeah, yeah. But like, you know, people say they were shy when they were children. I was like, there's like a pathology or something. Like I couldn't, like, I know if I went to a store, I had to walk around the, the store for like ten times before I could talk to the store keeper. But, yeah, my brother was garrulous and funny. And these old doors tried to act like him. Yeah, I was older. It's probably pretty common that people like emulate their older brother. And where's the third one in? He's still in Ottawa. But I mean, is he older? Yeah, we're all like within three years. We're all real close. And, and the other one is, is also a journalist? No, no, he just lives in Ottawa. He goes from job to job. Okay. Yeah, he's a good guy. So there was a time when you and Neil were both newsmen, anyway. It was strange. It was odd. I don't know how that happened. It was funny, but he was like in Israel or something. He goes to like these trouble spots. That was just, thankfully now he's in Wash. And it just stands in front of the White House and reads stuff they give him. I gotta think he got many scoops when you're a Canadian journalist in Washington. But so he just stands. But he loves that. But war zones and stuff. But, you know, finally, he got too old for it. And his, uh, got worried about his kids. I think it's a family trait. Yeah. What we're just a human trait, worrying about your kids. And, yeah, I guess it's not just the Makua. When I was young, nobody worried about kids like, you know, I mean, I just get on my bike and take off and then show up. It's a matter for ya. That's, uh, yeah. But we didn't have texting. So now, that's true. Like my kid, like I remember I'd walk him to school, like four blocks to school. And then there was this guy living next to me, the only guy with common sense in our neighborhood. And his kid would walk to school. And everybody'd be like, what? The kid's only seven. And then he's like, we live in Beverly Hills, like, you know, he's not gonna get killed. And then I remembered I used to walk to school. It's ridiculous. Yeah. But right after why, you know, I don't know. Nowadays, the kids, the kids, your standup, anyway, I relate to allow this is boring. This is a boring one. Yeah, that's one of the worst. I know. It seems unnaturally but interesting. Seems deeply uninteresting so far. Bad. My purse. Now, did you think that when you did Marion's podcast? Wait, what were you just about to ask me? I can't remember. Oh, yeah, that I relate to. I mean, you have, well, one, you're a hypochondriac. Yeah. So you like that? Yeah, yeah. I don't call it 'cause I don't make things up that I don't have. I just go to the worst possible. Yes. The computer doesn't help. Any. I, I've stopped looking. Because that's good. Yeah, that's good. So, but I was, I was wonder because you, as you know, Mike McDonald, yes, said these health issues. I think he has Hepatitis C. And there was benefits all across country. He's back in Ottawa because he didn't have health insurance. Yes. And now, I know you're not an American citizen, but you maybe worked enough to get? I have health insurance. Yeah, that's it. See, there's wondering. Is that hypochondriac? You can't just show up all the time to emergency? Or you talk about calling 9-1-1 and how to get them there? Yes. Well, I did, like, like I go at the drop of a hat. First of all, is, and it cost nothing. Yeah. So, but what would you do in the state? I know you're in trouble. That's what it's funny. Like you say, well, Miami dollars gonna sound selfish, but like, when I hear about someone getting something, I comedian, I think about myself getting it. Rather than the other person. Oh, when someone dies, immediately think, what symptoms? But, but hypochondria though, is, uh, it might be too. Like, I, the only chance you have is early detection. Like, that's your only. That's the only part I can play in it is the early detection. That's your only hope. So my idea is just a barrage of exams. The most invasive types of exams possible. Because then if you get hit it early, you know, you can possibly save yourself. I would feel like a fool if I, yeah, you hear people and you go, what were the symptoms? Oh, for you know, six months they had something that they just thought was nothing. Two days, I'm worried. Absolutely. And like, I don't want the responsibility to, of the guilt of, in a way, that's like, that part. A lot of reason I quit smoking cigarettes because not only are you dying at the end, but you knew you did it to yourself, which must be hell. And you know, that must be nice. Deepest remorse. It. Yeah. God. So I would hate to, you know, not go for a colonoscopy and then get colon cancer. So I'd rather just get the colonoscopy. Have you had one? Yeah, I have. Having one next Tuesday. First one? No, next Wednesday. No, I've had two. You're supposed to get it when you're 50. I got mine for 48. Now I've had. But it's because I, Katie Couric's husband was on the TV and he got his when he was when he was 38 or something. So what they do is they test guys that are at the highest rate. So it's like a bell curve. Like, like with colon cancer, for instance, like you're not supposed to get it done looked at till you're 50. But the evidence, like shows, like 10% of the people, it's like a bell curve. So it's 10%, then 80%, and 10%. So the two people at the edge of the bell curve, the 20% of people, they get colon cancer under the age of 50. But because it's statistically irrelevant, you know, they're just dealing in quantity, the medical establishment. So they go, well, why would we test these people that are only at such a low risk for it? We'll test everybody on this 80% range. But if you happen to be on that 10% range, you get missed. And then you're dead. You die because by the time they find it, if you, you know, you got it when you were 35, you know, a test of 50 isn't going to help you. So it's better if you can possibly afford it to get it done as soon as possible. What if I talk about colonoscopy? Because I appreciate this, and I'm sure there are others out there. I mean, I haven't had one yet. I, I, yeah, I will. Here's the thing. You gotta have a colonoscopy because a polyp can turn into cancer within five years. And, and everybody has polyps. And there, everybody, and their intestinal tract. Yeah. And also, you know, that the, the, when you have the operation, they give you this twilight drug, which is a very wonderful. It's an economy easy act. It keeps you conscious because they have to ask you questions while you do it. And it's a man, it's a powerful drug. It's so powerful. Well, you know, I mean, they can put stuff up your ass and stuff, and you know, talk to you, and you're cool with it. Like, you know, even on heroin, you would not be cool with that. But this stuff is so powerful that you're having a good time and laughing and joking. So. And you also talk about, I'm gonna be dead in 20 or 30 years. And you start to think that at our age, too. And it's, I don't know when that start. Oh, well, I think even as a teenager, I thought a lot about death. Yeah, no, I've been thinking about death is like a, I think it's a kind of a terrible thing to do, but I think about a lot. But I think it's sort of like a sin because it's just, it's just indulgence. And then, you know, you know, when I get to the point where something happens, and you're like, why did I spend all that time thinking about death when I had a life? Like, you don't want to, you know, want to hit that point where you're no longer sound, but sick, and then and then go, God, why did I spend the, why did I spend my whole life ruminating about an inevitability? And also, like, not to get too deep ringing about this, but I think about a lot. But the way I came to feel, and I try to tell myself, is that since, since when you're dead, you're not alive. And since when you're alive, you're not dead, you and death will never actually cross paths. So there's really not nothing to be afraid to have it sit for that half hour where no times coming. Well, you know what the good part is about that, about the end? Is you've got no pain because they got morphine. They, they're their jam and syrettes and morphine in your neck. Like that's why people, that's why it's like my grandfather died peacefully. Yes, because he was on so much narcotics. That's why I [ __ ] died peacefully. It's not because if you went back like 200 years, you know, those guys didn't die peacefully. They're just as I could howling, howling for three days, the black bile pouring out of their nose. It's all funny stuff. But don't you talk about this on stage in a funny way about your dark thoughts about the end of life? So you're saying in your real life, so you've just told yourself, there's no point in fretting about an inevitability? Well, I try. Are you successful at that? No, I'm not successful. I just try to tell myself that. But in the deep of night, yeah, that's not fun. And like, like my worst moments in life is when I get up late at night and go in the bathroom and turn the light on, look, I'm like, I look into my own eyes. Anyways, but I try to, you know, you try to keep it at bay. You try to keep all those thoughts at bay. And like, in a sense, like that, that's why, that's why I think like routine is important. I have a job where, like, there's not routine. You have to self-impose routine. But I think that to me, like the key to unhappiness is like, just indulgence. Like with anything. If you indulge and in sex or in alcohol or drugs or in the video game, it doesn't matter. If you indulge in things, you're not happy. And I think like our previous generation, they never does anything. Like my dad worked all day and he'd have a couple beers. And I'm sure those beers were where I tasted really good to him. And his vacations, as modest as they were, probably had great value. We, we indulge ourselves more. And then the generation that follows us, really indulge themselves. And I don't know, to me, I think that's where you get unhappy. When you started indulging, that's the key to unhappiness. What am I talking about? Indulging in Twitter and things like that. Did you, did you hear that Woody Allen interview he did with a French TV station? He talked about why he just obsessively works from one film. When what that one's in it, he moves on to the next one. And it's to, to get his mind off of dying, essentially. It's given, gives him routine, gives him something to do, just to keep his mind away from. Yeah, that's depressing. No, but, yeah, yeah, I can see what he means. Like, I remember when my dad retired, because that was his whole dream was retiring, his whole life, like, was to retire. And then when he retired, he forgot to think of something to do. Like, he didn't have hobbies or anything. Something I was just sitting around the house. And like, he was sad because like, he just had this idea of retirement. And he had this idea that doing nothing would be a wonderful thing, which, you know, is just natural for us to think. But no, I think, I think that must be why Woody Allen or Clint Eastwood or stuff, would work like that when they have so much money as to, yeah, to not, not be alone with your thoughts and to be distracted. Like, one time I went to, to a psychiatrist. I was gambling too much. And he told me, you'd do that to like, avoid life. And then that was my argument was like, that's why you do everything is to avoid. You live life to avoid life, in a way. Like, you know, you live the minutiae of daily existence. You know, you wake up, and then you eat, you wash your face, shower, and have the exact same conversations, the exact same people, over and over and over and over again, just to kind of achieve some self-hypnosis. So you, you stay away from from thinking about. This is why people that do drugs, I think the drugs take away the defense of. If they take very powerful hallucinogenics or something, they probably, they probably are thinking more clearly in some ways about life. In the sense that they no longer worry about finding food or talking to friends. They start thinking about real things. And it's so horrifying that they got psychotic breaks and so forth. Again, again, this is a hilarious stuff. It's not a comedy show show about comedians because I find it fascinating. Now, is it, is it a function of age, or have you always had these thoughts? Like I say, I thought a lot about death. And it's not that I obsess over it, it's just that I'm curious. I wonder. And I, and I think, you know, I studied philosophy. And I think about when that happens, right? So, is this more something that's you're thinking a lot more about now, or have you always been this way? Well, I remember when I was young, I think I was the most terrorized by the idea. But it might have been other, maybe I was worried about my parents dying or something like that. But no, I was always like afraid. I was afraid of like something random just happening that could could knock me out of the game real quick. Or a very cautious. Like I don't do anything that can put me in situations because people, all you got to live, you know? But you can just, you can live by being cautious and careful and not doing like, I don't want to cheat. You know, jump out of a plane. So I'm not going to jump out of no plane. And I'm not going to do any drugs that will kill me, you know? And I'm not going to drink alcohol all the time because that stuff. I don't want. I don't want to. I just want to grow. I just want to grow old and and and die a slow, like painful death. No, I don't know what I want. But it is, but now that like, because now I'm kind of, because I'm 48, so I'm kind of like, I was thinking 20 years in the future and trying to figure out how I can be in good enough shape to. But also, I think I should do something before then. Like, trash should go travel and see some place because I don't want to be like them old people that they start traveling then when they're hit 80, whatever, and then they're on a bus with other people being herded around, you know. I was thinking my, in my mind, that I'd like to take a train across Canada again, like he did when I was young and stuff. Well, I'm still young enough to. Well, I'm still ambulatory. Oh, my guys, this is getting funnier by the moment. I don't want to be traveling when I'm 80 and dying on the plane or the bus because that would be embarrassing. And I think you kind of talked about that too. Geez, I was just reading. That's weird. I was because I read. I love Russians, you know, and I read Tolstoy a lot. But I, I don't know anything about him. But a guy told me, because I don't really read biographies and stuff, but a guy told me that Tolstoy was, they did his movie called The Last Station with Christopher Plummer, that that he where he played Tolstoy. But anyways, he was apparently obsessed with death. And, and, you know, he wanted to be an ascetic because he was born a count. But he never had the courage. So I just give everything up. And then fine, one day said, I'm doing, I'm just giving him his old though. They're like late 70s. So I'm giving everything Evan. I'm just gonna wander the world like Christ. And then he went to the train station and died. Yeah, at the train station. So he waited too long. You know, again, you know, this is this is fascinating. This is John Wing. And you're listening to What's So Funny on CFR Oh 102.7 FM in Vancouver and all over the globe on the internet. What do you say? You talked also about, oh, I think I've heard maybe just alluded to it on Marin's podcast. And I thought your faith, I don't know what your faith is. Is it getting stronger as you get older, or you're sort of searching or something? What was it? I, I just have an intuition that there's a, that there's a God. When I say God, I don't mean like a force or something. I mean an actual personage. I just have this intuition that there is one. Like I've always had it. And I've always had this deep intuition. Well, I have no evidence, right? And I don't really, all like everything I've read from from religious tracts or stuff, all seem like insane to me. So I haven't really found one. But, but although I do, I will say this, of all the religions, I like Judaism and I like Christianity. Maybe that's the way I was brought up. But, but I do notice, I was thinking about the other day, like, there are some people that believe that like man is divine. Like my kind of a hippie idea that we're all like beautiful creatures. So anyways, I can't believe that 'cause I know my own heart and I know that's not true. And then like other people who live like we're wretched. Like, like the cynics, you know, or the atheists or whatever would be, would would believe that we're all just wretched, like nothingness, you know, or just animals, just creature. So I can't believe that. That doesn't make any sense, you know, that we're just beasts. Yes. So I will say that the Christianity has this interesting compromise where we're both divine and wretched. And then there's this middleman, you see. That's the savior. That through him, we can, we can become divine. But we're born wretched. And so it's a very fascinating idea. I kind of like that one because it sort of makes sense. It's the other two are both seem equally untrue. One that we're all divine and interconnected with nature, just seems like nonsense to me. The other that we're beasts of the field seems like nonsense to me. So I kind of like that, that Christian idea. But I'm not, I don't belong to any church. Yeah, you don't look. So you believe there's a guy in the sky? Yeah, yeah. How does that, how can you even imagine such a thing? That there's a man of the sky, invisible man in the sky? Where is he? Well, he's, we can't see him, I guess. It would be, I mean, you know, how does a fish? How could a fish possibly imagine a person? Maybe they do. Maybe they do. But maybe they'd be mocked by other fish if they ever brought it up, you know, because, because if they've never seen. There's the, there's a, I don't know, there's just a different, there's a difference between. I, I cannot believe that. I, I believe in souls. I believe that man has a soul. I, I actually believe that. I actually believe that man has a body. I believe that man is a soul. And it just makes complete, like, finite sense to me. Because I meet people and they're not reflective of their body. You can see, you know, an old withered man who has a bright soul. So their soul is not aging with their body. Their, what makes them, there's obviously a difference between a dead person and an alive person. But an old person and any young person are identical. So that's why I believe that people are souls and our bodies. And that the bodies that we have are no more than garments, really. That's not just their brain, their thoughts, their soul. Yeah, no, I believe the brain and the thoughts are like physiological. I think people get, people get mixed up that your brain is a physical thing and your mind is a physical thing. So those physical things, your mind, for instance, could not consume your mind can't conceive of inconceivable things. It's beyond its capacity because it's just a mind. Oh, notice how to do is think. So, so then how can you can see? How can you conceive of something in a very, very real way that doesn't exist? I, I think it's impossible. I don't think there are atheists, personally, is my opinion. I don't believe there's any such thing. Meaning what? Meaning that I don't think there's a, there's such thing. When I hear atheists talk, all they talk about is God. It's very hard to, to talk about something that doesn't exist and be fascinated with it. It's, it seems impossible to me, personally. Now, they might be much deeper than me and be able to imagine unimaginable things. But I don't think that you can imagine something. I think that's the, the arrogance of man that he thinks he can imagine unimaginable things, personally. But I think, I think atheists are only talking about God because that's, that's the culture we grow up in. For me, I don't identify as an atheist, but I, I think it's just not a factor in my life. I, I can't conceive of a God. But, you know, if there's one, there's one. And there's nothing we can do about it. And we'll find out in due time, I guess. So it's just an absence of belief. It's not theism. It's a theism. And, and it's only a reaction to everyone, you know, like, oh, this is reactionary. The proud. But the problem with it is this, with with atheists, I have heard is they usually, as with most, you know, people that like to argue, they're usually missing the entire point of everything. So because this is a very important question. And then they end up talking about priests [ __ ] kids or somewhere, or, you know, they talk about the Crusades or some ridiculous and nonsense. And there's nothing too different the question. So as soon as I hear them talk about that, I go, okay, well, you're a [ __ ] idiot. Why should I listen to anything you say further than that? If we were go to even deeper level than that, if everything was created by accident, then that means that you and I, we're also created by accident. And that means that Richard Dawkins was created by accident. So, the flexion, I listen to him like, like, why would an accident be able to convey to me how he became an accident through a series of accidents? That that makes no sense to me. See, now we're getting funny. This though, if God created the universe, he also created the, the cannibals that are in the news today. He created the, what created wars and, and all the badness in the world too. So how do you explain that? Well, I don't explain it. I mean, why would he? Why not? I mean, you know, I mean, it's a, it's the atheists believe in the fairy tale because they're saying, how could God be mean? Why the [ __ ] can't even mean? You know, why can't he allow races to be turned to ash? Why not? What the [ __ ] isn't that? It's the, it's the atheists of living in the fairy tale saying, God should do this, God should do that. You know, you read the Bible says rain falls on the wicked and the Jazz. Do you don't give a [ __ ]? The Bible. Now, somebody wrote the Bible. I don't know. You, have you read? Have you studied or read philosophy? Well, somebody wrote philosophies too. Yeah, yeah. So, so I'll just, man thinking of stuff. Some pretty great men to. You don't like. Or you say, you know, an on-stage important comedians, important comedy. And yet, I consider what Jews talk about subversively important and very intelligent. And you sort of Socratic, even maybe Socratic. I don't know. I just, I don't know answers. No, like, I listen. I like interesting comedy. Like, I guess I meant important in quotation marks. Like, that the subtext is that you're important. But when I was young, I was, I was my act was all different. And I would talk about dogs and cats and stuff. And then Sam Kinison told me, because he was big star and stuff.
And he let me open for him. And I was just starting in Canada. And he told me, "You can talk about anything you want. Just, you know, why is that? What interests you the most?" So he was, that was kind of a turning point for me, that I probably should talk about why I tend to ruminate over and over about stuff, you know, which tends toward the horrific or the, you know, in my life, those things. Things I find fascinating, you know, are our fears and shames and stuff like that that I wonder about. I don't really wonder about, although I, I love comedy about, very mind you. Things like Jerry Seinfeld does, or like, I love Brian Regan. Isn't my favorite. So I certainly think those guys are important comedians, 'cause in a way, like the tiny everyday things that we do in life, that's what life actually is. So they may be the deepest of all, by just taking the actual things we do, because a man is what he does rather than what he thinks or says, usually. But it's usually what, at the end of his life, it's what he did, you know. So, so some of those guys are probably, they're certainly more important than the, you know, what I refer to as journalists. You know, I, that's the least interesting comedy to me is just straight journalism where it's just straight facts, a fact about politics and so forth. But there was, there was a saying, "All politics are gossip." And that was the row and like [ __ ] 1600 or some [ __ ], you know. And and I think it is, like a lot of times you go, "This is just a political comic." And then the guy's like, "George Bush has a weird haircut." You know, "I won't what the [ __ ] is that political?" But anyways, whatever. But, you know, I listen, it has its place, but it's not funny. And to tell you the truth, it's very hard to be funny about about you really. If you're, if you, the same with atheism, it's the same with pull it. If you don't like something, if your idea is, "I don't like Republicans," and that's your comedy, it's very hard to be funny when it's about something you don't like, you know. It's much more interesting to talk about good things. I don't know, it's hard to really articulate. But I think that people are the same, everyone's the same. That's what I think. And so if you just try to understand people and you don't demonize, if you demonize people, you're a [ __ ] idiot. My, and my mind, Hitler is no demon to me, he's just the guy. So I think if you demonize people, you're an idiot, and nothing you can say can be taken seriously, and I'm not gonna laugh at it.
Yuto, so Kenaston told you to talk about things you care about. And then when we spoke a week or so ago, you were saying about the the new type of comedy or what's becoming fashion is sort of a confessional type and a personal stuff, right? So there's a difference there. You're talking about things that really interest you, but it's not just about you. Yeah, there's a big distinction between like stuff that interests you and then just wallowing in self-pity about stuff, you know, or thinking that your life is special or different or, you know, like I've seen one-man shows where the guy's cancer or some [ __ ] thing. I'm like, "Everybody's got cancer. I'm gonna [ __ ] about your cancer." You know what I mean? I'll give, like, go tell your pastor that or your family. I want to hear your [ __ ] story. So that's just showing off, you know, that or or or being ultra honest for its own sake or something like that, you know. That's not, that's, it's not a virtue to be honest. And it's not a, you know, it's only in comedy it's a virtue to be funny. Like that's why, like, in my mind, like Bob Hope was a fantastic comic because he was never, ever once serious. And you never got a sense of there's two kinds of guys. This guy's like Pryor or like brilliant because they're so vulnerable and you know who they are. And then there's guys like Bob Hope are brilliant because they're like invisible to me. Bob Hope, in a way, is a little bit on a higher level because he presents a sort of an existential view of life where everything is, it's reduced to the broadest strokes possible that doesn't even seem like he's a person. It seems like he's a cartoon. And I think if you can rise to the level of cartoon, then you, this is funnier than like Bugs Bunny or somebody, you know. You know, if Bugs Bunny started [ __ ] railing against God, you know, what, that guy doesn't seem that funny anymore. That's the, but he never made that mistake. It's from another era, so you can't really fault him. But he employed lots of writers, yes. Whereas Pryor was talking, you know, I don't know if he had writers. But I don't know. Right. I was talking about, yeah, it's completely different things. But, you know, but people really make out Shecky Greene was a fantastic comic or Bob Hope as these hacks or anything like that. But who, far from that, far from it. And Bob Hope, the fact that you can't even quote a Hope joke, and yet he was maybe the most successful stand-up comic ever, is a testament to his unbelievable skills as a stand-up comic because he didn't need jokes. This guy didn't have good jokes. They, people would write them for him. And then, and they saw, sucked. Any guy remember going on The Tonight Show, every joke sucked. And then afterwards, he would be smiling and stuff. I've come to this thing, guy, that I realized there's laughter and then there's smiling. And I think in the really, and the final end, I don't, I kind of this realization the last couple of years in comedy because I always wanted to punch people in the stomach and make them laugh so hard they couldn't stop and stuff. But I've come to understand that just smiling and the spread of goodwill might be a higher art form than really heavy, hard laughter, as as counter to that seems. When I look back at fondness of people, I think of people like John Candy, but I always think of him like from Planes, Trains and Automobiles where it is sweet and I smile at that. Or Chaplin, I whenever I think of Chaplin, I smile more than a lot more than I laugh out loud at some. That's our St. Bob Hope. I just smile and I think of those guys. Yeah, you know, I don't know. And that's probably just a gift that they have that either you have or your dog. But when I saw, I know you speak reverentially as a lot of great comics do of Bill Cosby, you know, I mean, I listened to his albums, memorized. And as a kid, they were fantastic. But his later stuff, not so much. And I went to see him and highly enjoyable. And I sat there smiling. I didn't really laugh. And I smiled. No, yeah. You don't laugh, you smile. And then you get home. And I guess that's why I like Carlin. As great as he was, I mean, it made him happy. He didn't make you happy. And as great as he was, he was very outside, you know. He was very like a social critic. Whereas Cosby was talking about his own life and experiences that you related to. So it's, it's, to me, it's far more artful what Cosby did. And I think there's a, there's a thing with, you know, a presentational comic is always going to be more admired. As in anything, like if you're, if you're a presentational artist, whether you're a singer, you know, if you sing real loud and you, you're whatever the [ __ ] they call those things, no, let's go up and down and stuff, that's considered the great singer. And if you're a comic, if you're making points and and and telling people stuff that's that sounds important, then you're gonna be considered important. And if you're an actor, you know, if you're Brando, you're great. And if you're Robert Duvall, I think so much better actor, you're not gonna be considered that great because because the great guys don't show their the craft, you know, the craft and the arts. I was invisible with those guys. So I think the presentational guy's always going to win in terms of success and in terms of public perception. And that's why George Carlin and Bill Hicks are several is going to be considered at a much higher level than Bob Hope, who was actually the guy who is at a very, very high level of admiration.
It's funny about Hope, though. I mean, you've surely been in situations where you've had to read other writers' jokes on TV. And it's probably, I don't know, maybe you can tell me, is it more difficult than doing your own? Like, so Hope should get more credit for doing other people's jokes? Yeah, it's almost impossible to do jokes like that other people write because they have to be so good. You know, to live up to, you want your jokes to be always good. And you live in fear. But Hope didn't have that. Hope did it. Hope had a very specific thing that he would, that people didn't understand what he was doing. But he would do the joke. He would, if you, if you watched him, he would do the joke, then, and they would always cut to a close-up on him. And he would look into the audience and he'd put like a flash, he's a very good actor, he'd put like a flash of fear in his eyes, as if he had just been caught, like he was an imposter, like he knew the joke was bad, and they get the jig was up, you know, and he was gonna get kicked out of show. This is a very, very subtle, quick, fast thing. But that's what I made everyone laugh. They didn't know why they were laughing. That's why they were alive. And I know because I've watched it. I've watched it. I've watched it so many times.
This is Stewart Francis, you're listening to What's So Funny on CFRB 102.7. Hmm. You know, a lot of comics, you can tell who, who really influenced them. You have this unique voice. I can't figure out who your influences were. But was it Hope? Was that other guys? I watched a lot of comedy when I was young on TV. But I don't know how I, when I started writing, and when I started writing comedy, I would, I was like, look to writers rather than because I found stand-up the writing and stand-up highly inferior to the writing in songs and to the writing and obviously literature. And so I, I was lucky enough to read a lot of books. And I have a friend of mine that's a country songwriter that I feel is the best writer in America. And I talked to him a lot. And I listened to, you know, Bob Dylan and stuff. And I was young. And so I feel like songwriters I like a lot as writers. I think, but I think novelists, you know, especially the Russians, in terms of writing, we're like the most fantastic writers. So that's where I, that's where I got my, that's where I figured out what writing was about, not from committee, not from comedians.
Did you have to make it funny? Yeah, yeah, you have to make it funny. But they're, they're all, you know, there's there's no new thoughts or anything. That's also what I find funny about like people that go to make points and don't understand these points were made hundreds of years ago, you know. But the greatest thoughts, the funniest ideas. And if you're, if you're lucky enough to read literature, or actual literature, then you find out that, you know, these people that wrote it know everything about the human condition. So all you have to do is read them. And it's better than it's better than experiencing things in life, that's for sure. Reading is better. Reading is better than experiencing. Yes, reading is, reading is far superior to experience because when you read, you can read a master writer's insights into the world that would take you forever. Like, you know, I can't, if I read Moby Dick, how am I supposed to experience that in life? You know, I can't experience anything. Like all I can do, especially in this life, is is going to have the same banal conversations with with the same people over and over and over and an endless loop of nonsense. Yeah. So, so I'm trying to, I'm trying to read as much as I can. I only have so many years. I'm a very slow reader. [ __ ] I'm so slow, it's crazy. And I never got to go to school. So it's a lot harder for me without the without the proper education to understand everything. But, but I really, really like to read.
But you do notice these authors from hundreds of years ago, as you say, we haven't changed. I mean, the the little details have changed, but humans are human. That's amazing. That's what's, that's what's incredible about reading things from 300 years ago. So like, I also, it's fine like when I was growing up and I'd see shows like from Leave It to Beaver or something from the fifties and stuff, and everybody seemed like completely different. And it was only 30 years ago. And it's like, well, these people are completely different than I am. Then I read like a novel from 300 years ago, I'm like, this guy's exactly like I am. Like that, that TV show is all a bunch of lies. They know they weren't like that. I just thought they were. But it is incredible when you read like, you know, something from three or four hundred years ago and there's like, they're talking about, you know, not wanting to [ __ ] their wife and, you know, worry about death and their their kid doesn't love them and all this stuff. It's amazing. Yeah, we never changed at all. Except they, they said it all perfectly. And we don't have to. Oh, yeah. We're lucky enough to just get to read it, understand this. It, I'm very disappointed with all of this now. With all of what again, I think we should start from scratch. And what, what would you talk about though? Comedy? Yeah. You just straight trains of jokes and clips. This is a, this is deep. This cuts to the root of it all. When we spoke the other day, I was glad to clear up the notion that you're not a Republican, a right-wing. Oh, yeah. Well, that's interesting that you say about Adam Carolla, because yeah, people like to do that. They like to to say you are something, you know, that you're not. And stupidly, a couple of times, to be provocative, I sometimes will just, are for the point of arguing with someone, I'll argue with them and just take without even knowing anything about the issue. I know I go ahead and find him a beat back and, you know, to push their button. Yeah, I had a first serve button. So that then there was this old bag, Barbara Walters, one time, who everybody pretends is a good journalist, but she's horrible. And she started that host liberation. But I was on her show and Suzie happened about something. Anyway, that's where it started because I just wanted to go into her skin. I call, I call like President Clinton a murderer, sound just as a joke. And then ever since then, as you know, ask me questions. But now I'm interested. I find that if you're either a Republican or a Democrat, I think you're both idiots. Because because you have a whole big, you have to believe in all this stuff, you know, like you have to believe in all their ten beliefs or all these other ten beliefs. And I think that's ridiculous. I think you should be able to pick and choose what you believe or believe something that neither of them believe or whatever. So, so I hate being, and I don't like powerful people, you know, I don't like power. I don't like, I don't like any politicians. And I don't like power. I don't like people that have power over me. I don't like to have power over anyone else. It's my least favorite thing in life is is having an answer to anybody or expecting anyone to answer to me. I hate that, man. I hate that.
So you don't identify one way or the other, conservative or liberal? But when you do pick and choose, as as I do, as your pal Dennis Miller does, he too, you know, it's socially he's very progressive on lots of issues, but he chooses to align himself with the right. Whereas I might agree with some things he says, you know, offhand. I can't think of anybody. Those are theoretically I could. And I choose to align myself on the left. So like, you just refuse to even align yourself one way or the other. But do most of your beliefs fall on one side? Well, my, I find like, some things there too. I have some beliefs that are too inflammatory to even discuss, unfortunately, because of the way they'll be taken. But there are certain things in society that you're not allowed to believe or speak publicly. And so I'll just never say that. I'll just leave them in my little hand. But mostly, I, I find all these things ridiculous. And I hate that. I hate that we forced people into. First of all, I hate that we forced people into identifying themselves a little tiny, because we oppress people. We further oppress them by forcing them to identify themselves. And when I consider less than human. So if someone says, "I am proud to be black." Oh, that's too bad for that guy, because it's a [ __ ] thing to be proud of. And we see it with white now. If someone says, "I'm proud to be white," we see how ridiculous that sounds. But we don't see it when a person says, because they've been oppressed, "I'm proud to be black." But it is ridiculous. We've pushed them into a corner where now they're gonna spend their whole life identifying themselves by the pigment of their skin, which is a sad waste of life. Or if you say, "I'm, I'm proud to be gay." That's what I am, and that's how I live my life. Oh boy, you're really limiting yourself there. And it's too bad. And I know you've been forced into it by by being maybe being pushed down and oppressed. But it's still very, very sad. And and I don't think of myself as Canadian. And I think it's a terrible thing to say, "You're proud to be a Canadian" or "proud to be an American." I think that's all that stuff is nonsense. You're proud to be, you may as well be proud to have lungs. You know, you didn't accomplish nothing. You know, use a barn somewhere or, you know, you were just born with a skin that's a certain color or born, you know, with with a sexual attraction to a certain type of person. That stuff's all, it's all just the little miniature things in life that are so unimportant. And when people try to tell me that God is not important, but that this nonsense is important, I couldn't disagree more. It's nonsense being like, not being life being the tiny gossip of life. Like, like to me saying, "I'm proud to be Asian." You may as well say, "I'm proud to have a green shirt." No, no, what the [ __ ] are you so proud of? Like, so I think, and I think as far as the question of God goes, I wish that science, which is supposed to explore these things, refuses to explore the fundamental question that is of interest not only to religious people but intensely to atheists as well. They spend a lot of time thinking about something they don't care about or they pretend they don't care about. That science should spend all their time. I mean, they try, they spend time trying to find new galaxies as if that's important. Since God is an unproven thing, just a hypothesis at this point, it would be, I think it would be good to study it.
Well, but they can't in the scientific process. Yeah, it has to be, there has to be something there. How could you even go about? I mean, they've gone through space, there's, they didn't find God floating around. How could you possibly test it scientifically? They just say it's unknowable. It's beyond our area of what we can know, right? It to believe it's a faith. Well, that's what they said because, because, because, because they're thinking in evidentiary ways, but the scientific method. But the scientific method, first of all, the scientific method always begins with intuition. Always, always. Einstein used intuition. He did not study things objectively and find things. He was struck with something and then followed that the notion that he had or whatever you call that. And I call it intuition. You could put divine roots to it if you wanted to, but that's, you know, that's how things are. That's how important things are discovered. And obviously, there is an enormous intuition amongst every person that has ever lived that God exists. But it has to go beyond intuition into the whole scientific community verifying it or falsifying it. So it starts with that intuition. But then they, there has to be something there. There has to be some facts. No, not necessarily. For instance, if you have a deep intuition that cigarettes cause cancer, which was is still unproven, by the way, then you, you know, need evidence. And if, in a court of law, you certainly don't need evidence. You don't need a body. You don't need to find a dead body of something, you know. If all, if all things point to it, it's something. I don't know. I have very strong belief in intuition. And I just find it interesting that something that everyone believes, some people pretend not to. I just find that very interesting. That's all about everyone. Yeah. I think that's the, for instance, I'll tell you this for instance, if you see an atheist, you will never see an atheist argue that God doesn't exist because the tenets of Scientology are absurd. They will always pick Christianity. So it's very interesting that they they choose the God that they decide doesn't exist, which means really they're choosing the God they think exists. No, I don't think that's the case. If you read some atheists, they'll say that Zeus doesn't exist, that I mean, the Christian God doesn't exist, that any of the gods you can think of don't exist. Or better yet, they'll say, I mean, maybe strong atheists will say that. But the, the intellectually more honest ones might say, there's just no evidence that they exist. And since there is no concrete evidence, why bother living your life that way and assuming that there is? Well, here's the thing. Science is only proven maybe, I think, four things in the history of science. So the, the, that's why there's a theory of evolution. Even though evolution is, is I think certain, as it certainly happened. I think evolution certainly happened. Now, I could say to you, if I wanted to, that it is a theory because they haven't proven it. But I believe it. They use theory differently in science. It doesn't mean the same as, "Oh, I have a theory that," you know, whatever. They use it because they have strict, strict rules on what makes a law. And it's almost, you know, impossible for anything to become a law. But scientists will believe that, you know, it is 99.9% sure given that there is evolution. But they're always open to new evidence. And they have to be. And, you know, and when you talk about Copernicus, yes, sir. I don't know if they're open to new evidence. When I hear Stephen Hawking say, "There is no God." I go, "What kind of scientist is that?" I mean, I heard him say that. I heard him say, "There is no God. It's a fairy tale." That's not a scientist to me. Well, that's one science. So the scientific community is, is everybody. Even Hawking, yeah. That's the preeminent physicist in the entire world, is saying something out of obvious prejudice. Did you hear the whole quote? Or is this? I can, I can roll with it. I know I didn't hear the whole quote. To be fair, but I was kind of shocked that that science says, like, we've given up. I don't know when scientists started saying things were unknowable. But that's a new one on me, because that, that's not a scientific term, as far as I know. Unknowable. Maybe they don't. Good. I don't think scientists could possibly use that term, unknowable, because it refers that they can see into the future. Okay. Now, you can't blame me for where this has gone, but I'm gonna go with it. How would you even begin to prove the existence of a God? Well, I don't know because I don't have the, I don't have the powers of a scientist. I certainly couldn't prove the existence of the planet Mercury, if that's even implying it anymore. I can't, you know, I can't prove anything. I'll just take their word for it. And that's what we do. And when you say in your act, I know it's comedy there, you know, Copernicus and Sir Isaac Newton, and they made these glaring errors. But at the time, that was the best evidence available. Or that's, but who is it that always corrects them? It's science as a community. It's other scientists. It's not just somebody going, "No, I got this idea." It's actually, I mean, maybe that's how it starts, but then they actually have to set out and and study it and prove it. Yes. No, it's other scientists. And correct scientists. I don't know. I'm all for size, okay? Because I want them to make things that'll make me live longer. It's tough, you know, but I would really like to, I would like eternal life. I would like some proof one way or the other, you know. You know, if proven that God doesn't exist, I don't care what you prove. I at least prove one of them. But but try to work on the only important thing. Certainly everyone can agree that's the most important thing, whether or not we're alone, or, you know, or whether or not we're taken care of, you know, certainly had anyone in their right mind would agree that's the most important question to answer. You mean for an afterlife? Not necessarily for an afterlife, but that would also be good. But, without, without God, there's no purpose. I don't care. I don't care what anyone pretends otherwise. But it's highly, highly rational to say that there's purpose without God because there simply isn't, right? But it's not a bad thing to have no purpose. We're born, we die, and it was nice. Though that's fine. That's fine. But that's not what most atheists proclaim. No, if that were the case, that would be fine as well. But month, most atheists proclaim that they're there, that there can be purpose in life without God. Will you make your own purpose? Right. Anyway, or not, whatever. But you're just here for however long you're here. Yeah. But I don't believe you can make your own purpose anymore than I believe also a greater purpose. No, I just think I don't do that. Obviously, had a [ __ ] dog can't make his own purpose. So, or an ant or a honeybee, you know, I mean, so why the [ __ ] should we think we go Magro poor doesn't make his own purpose? Again, it's this idea that man is somehow important. It's just, it's this crazy idea that both highly religious people and atheists have that man has has some some quality to them, you know. Atheists have this idea that they can't quite resolve within themselves that man is divine. But they can't say divine because that means God. But they believe that they don't believe they're equal. Man, no man. I don't care what they say. No man believes he's equal to two an animal or an insect. No man, I don't care how, if he lives on top of a mountain with snow and [ __ ], he still doesn't believe he's an insect. Seems like this is a reaction against certain atheists who have certain arguments. But that shouldn't affect how you believe. No, it doesn't affect either. No, no. I just, I don't, I, I don't believe. I know that's a different. And because I believe intuition is everything to me, more than more than my mind, because my mind can play tricks on me. And my mind is, it's very easily swayed by others and so forth. I personally believe that something else other than the mind, that that you can't talk me into murdering somebody with your atheistic idea that, "What does it matter one way or the other?" I could read all the existential literature of all time. I still would kill someone. Take some bath salts, though. Yeah. It's good of you to try to help. I think it's funny in some way. Your intuition is must have been proven wrong at some point in your life. Yeah. Now, that's true. That's, no, that's very true. Like, but, but not the real deep intuition that stayed. Like, I often would find myself like, very heavily influenced by culture, whatever you want to call it, or socio, socio, whatever that those words are. Where I sometimes look, I remember well, like, I remember when I realized I didn't like sunsets. At one point in my life, like, what the [ __ ] of my latest [ __ ]? I don't even like it. And I realized that I just thought I liked it because I always [ __ ] was told there was supposed to be beautiful or something. And I'm America, those was my kid. I was looking at this stupid [ __ ] sunset. Like I wasted my time so often looking at it. And I was like, "I don't like this [ __ ]." Well, [ __ ], but you just have certain moments in your life where you come to for a second with a sum of acidity. But yeah, obviously we're not immune to, you know, this terrible educator process, you know, weighing us down all the time, you know, none of us are, you know. How can we, how can we not believe in what everybody believes that on some level? But, you know, you try the best you can to, to maybe not wallowing in clichés for your whole life, you know. If you take any, any subject on any arguments people make, all they are are empty, false clichés, in my opinion, at least. I don't know. You ever talk about this on Letterman? We, that we [ __ ] up somewhere? Oh, no way. No, no. I love it. But, you know, as you say, after you on me, after you were on Maron, and people were talking about, "Oh man, it blew my mind how sensitive Norm was." And you said, like, "Yeah, anytime a comedian is," I forget how, yeah, there's a lower bar with comedians that if they say something that's halfway, if I can make any sense at all, you know, is same with an actor, you know. But we're [ __ ] idiots. So the, if a clown says them, you know, and I mean, if a [ __ ], if a bird with a broken wing [ __ ] fine and hobbled it together to [ __ ] jump up and fly for three inches, everybody's happy. That wasn't bad. Well, no, it's because you're high, exactly. When I, I [ __ ], it's the third thing I had a mass or something, you know, my hypochondria [ __ ] because people would go after shows, man, you [ __ ], what are you on? I'm like, "Nothing." They're like, "Your voice is slurring." And then I read something, but that's whatever. A mess and stuff, you know. People have a mess. First people think they're because they're stumbling and their balance. I might, I don't have good balance and I slur my words. But did you get it checked? Actually, I've been checked to her to have it. Yeah. Well, my mom had it. Oh, yeah. It's good to be checked for everything, like, yeah. After you to bring it full circle here, after you get checked or something, like I could call and ask appear and as whatever it gives you a new lease on life for at least a month. Just, yeah, it's amazing. And it's like, you walk out and the great grass looks a little greener. And you know, the, and then God is everywhere. And then, and then a couple of days pass and, you know, your carpet about the, the butcher didn't give you enough goddamn pork, you know, you wanted a full [ __ ], full loin, and the guy only gave you a quarter. If only we could stop with, you know, stop like, but there's little tiny things. And this preposterous gadgetry that we're talking into. And just for a moment, like, think about real stuff. It is Josh, come on. Anna, so be a good time to end it. I know, the least funny podcast of all time with a comedian.
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Well, what do you make of that? Apologize to anyone who wanted to hear solely funny Norma MacDonald, but, you know, he's a deep guy and I like talking about it too. So there you go. If you enjoyed it and you're listening to this on podcast, I love it if you gave us a rating at iTunes. Would be much appreciated. You know what, even if you didn't like it, if you said, "This guy didn't talk about comedy for 90 minutes," one star, by all means, off you go. We're off the next two weeks on the radio, back on August 5th. So I'll talk to you the endings.
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