Why So Many INFJs Are Actually Neurodivergent

Hi, INFJs and autistic INFJs. Welcome back to my channel. Have you ever looked around the world and thought, "Why does everyone seem to be okay with the bright lights and the loud noises and the hustle and bustle and the small talk about the weather?" Well, I'm over here wondering constantly if I'm broken or what it is that I'm doing wrong.

Let me assure you, you're not broken, but you might just be neurodivergent. And no, that's not some dramatic diagnosis or a new word going across the internet. It's more like a secret club for people whose brains don't follow the standard user manual. And for INFJs, especially autistic INFJs, we make our own manuals and then we'll like overthink them for 5 to 10 years. So today, I'm going to show you why so many INFJs are actually neurodivergent, even if no one has told you that before. And honestly, it might explain a whole lot about you. You might find it rather interesting.

So, if you're new to my channel, welcome. My name is Trina. I'm an INFJ and I'm also autistic. I created this channel because I wanted to help people like myself feel seen, heard, and understood. That was a big thing for me when I started working on myself years and years and years ago, is I just really wanted to understand who I was and why I felt so broken. And I wanted somewhere I could share resources that I know work for people like myself. So, don't forget to check out the resource section in the description of this video. I actually updated it and I've added some new ones you might be interested in. So, go ahead and take a look.

If you're new to my channel, welcome. I'm glad you found it. I hope you find it helpful. If you're returning, welcome back. I'm so grateful for all my viewers. If you haven't yet, I invite you to subscribe and like this video. Subscribe to my channel, like this video. I would really appreciate the support.

Okay, before we get going, I'm very excited. I have a new class to share with you guys. I didn't write it. Some of the classes I write myself and some I don't. I wish that I had written this class because it's like amazing. It's the guide to navigating sensitivity overload. So, those of you that are highly sensitive, and if you're watching this, you're probably highly sensitive because I talk about it a lot, you might want to check this video out. The link is in the description of this video. It provides practical, research-backed strategies to help us regulate our nervous system and create a more supportive sensory environment for ourselves. It is an amazing class. That's just the tip of the iceberg. What's in it? So, go ahead and check out the link in the description of this video. I do believe it's on sale right now. I do believe. But anyway, don't quote me on that, but I'm pretty sure I've seen that it's still on sale.

All right, enough about that. Let's get into what this video is actually about: Neurodivergence and INFJs. This is such a fascinating topic. I love talking about neurodivergence. Neurodiversity.

So, a quick explanation for those of you that don't really know what neurodivergence is. To define it gently, it's differences in brain functioning. Now, listen carefully. Not a disorder or a flaw. I'll repeat that. This is not a disorder. It is not a flaw. It doesn't mean you're broken. It doesn't mean there's things you can't do. All it means is that our brain is just wired differently than neurotypicals. That's it. That's all.

So, common neurodivergent identities that would relate mostly that I've seen in the INFJ community um is autism, ADHD, HSP, which is highly sensitive people, um SPD, which is sensory processing disorder, just to name a few. I mean, the umbrella of neurodiversity is huge. It, it really is. It's I believe it's like a spectrum and it's huge. There's a lot of things that can fall on it, but those are the most common ones that I see in the INFJ community. Now, highly sensitive people and sensory processing disorder, I thought for a long time they were the same thing, but they're not. They are a little bit different. I won't get into their differences, but just to let you know that if you didn't really relate to the highly sensitive or HSP um people, maybe you'd relate more to the sensory processing disorder type people if you're still struggling with that. That was just kind of a little off-topic, but I found it interesting.

Quick disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. This video is not meant to diagnose. So, whatever I talk about in here, it is not a diagnosis. I cannot do that. I am not certified to do that. I'm just informing you. I've worked on myself for, oh, a long time, almost well, almost a couple of decades now. And all I do is I learn and I share it with you. I had friends that wanted me, kept encouraging me to start a channel for YouTube about a year and a half ago because of how many people I could help with what I have learned, and I did it finally. So this is what I do. I learn and I share. So, I've just been sharing what I've learned over the last two decades with you. Again, can't diagnose. I just want to let you know that. Um, but also, you don't need a diagnosis to relate to any of this. So, if it feels true to you, that's enough to start learning. I mean, really, what do you have to lose? Give yourself permission to work with your brain instead of against it. You don't need a diagnosis to try this stuff.

All right, enough about that. Why INFJs go undiagnosed or unrecognized? Honestly, because we're really good at pretending to be fine. If you really want to know, that's why. We're really, really good at pretending to be fine. We've been, most of us, I can't say all of us, but most of us have been masking since we were kids. We learned early how to blend in. How to be the easy child, the helper, the fixer, the one who keeps the peace, even if we were melting down inside. How many of you can relate to those that I said? Maybe you can relate to all of it. The helper, the fixer, the easy child. I'm just curious if you can relate to that. We're often the overachievers, the deep thinker, and the one who seems put together on the outside, but nobody sees how much energy, how much we struggle just to get through the day. This is huge. We're really good at hiding that.

Did you know that for a lot of INFJs and neurodivergent INFJs, we struggle from the time we get up in the morning because just getting dressed can be a struggle. It can be with our high sensitivity. It can be a struggle. Now, if you don't struggle with that, that's okay. That's okay. That still doesn't mean this doesn't pertain to you. Just a lot of us do. If you do struggle with clothing, on what to wear and completely overthink it, again, go check out that new class. You might really benefit from that. Um, where was I? I'm just getting caught up on my notes because I kind of went on a rant.

Oh, and we go undiagnosed or unrecognized because we're so introspective. We internalize everything. So instead of acting out, we overthink quietly by ourselves. Nobody knows what's going on. Instead of falling apart in public, we fall apart in private. Nobody sees that. So nobody notices what's going on with us. This is a bit of a struggle. And I've actually, I can say I'm guilty. I've snapped at Jay, my partner, a couple of times. I try not to do this because he'll mention something and it's a huge struggle for me and I'll snap back at him like, "Can't you see that this is like a big struggle? It's real." Like that, that's real, right? And I feel really bad because no, we can't, because I'm really good at hiding it. And it's like the people, this is a little off-topic, but for if you're autistic, have you had uh people mention, like I mean I don't go around and tell everybody I'm autistic, but I mean it has come up and I have said it and people have returned or responded, trouble with words today, responded with, "Oh, everyone's autistic." Just a side note, don't say that to somebody who's autistic. That does not help because not everyone's autistic. If everyone could fully understand the struggle that we have in our daily life with simple activities such as figuring out what to wear or walking into a grocery store, you would understand. When anxiety spikes way up and we've got to constantly work on ourselves doing those simple activities, you would totally understand. So, just, you know, a side note, don't say that to someone who's autistic. It doesn't help.

Anyway, it makes sense that people don't always see what's going on underneath the INFJ because we're so good at hiding it. Heck, sometimes we don't even see it ourselves because we're so used to it. It has happened so much that it becomes our normal. Sadly, it becomes our normal, um, until we understand what neurodivergence really is and then we understand that we actually don't have to feel this way because what's going on is we're working against who we are instead of with who we are. That's huge. It was huge when I discovered all of this and my whole self, I can picture it. I'm going to try and describe it to you guys because I can picture in my head like it was, I was big puzzle pieces and when I learned all about this and how my brain is actually wired differently and it was okay. It was like all these big puzzle pieces of myself all fit into place building an image of me. Does that sound crazy? That's how it worked for me and it was, it was really empowering for me.

So here's where it gets interesting: the shared traits between INFJ and neurodivergent folks. This is really where it gets interesting because we start comparing INFJ traits with neurodivergent traits and the overlap is really kind of wild. I have read many articles, um, because there is a little bit of research going on with the INFJ personality type and neurodivergence. And I've read articles with research stating that the INFJ personality type is actually neurodivergent, the entire personality type, because they've actually done tests and watched how our brain works and it works way differently than any other personality type. Isn't that wild? It's kind of cool. Hey. Anyway, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that research because I can't remember where I read all these articles. I've read it a few times, but you can do a simple search online. Just make sure that they're, that it's a reliable, reliable resource when you're reading it because some of it isn't.

Anyway, shared traits. Now, I'm not saying that I don't want to say that every INFJ is neurodivergent. I'm definitely not certified to say that. I was just reciting what I had read in research. But if you've ever thought, "Wow, why does life feel 10 times louder and more intense and simple things seem so much harder and exhausting for me than it does for everyone else?" But you don't want to admit it because you're scared that you're broken. This might be why.

So, let's throw a few things out there that, um, that overlap with the neurodivergence and the INFJ personality type. And some of these may sound familiar and some of them may not. I just picked a few of them. There's actually quite a list that overlap. Number one, the sensory sensitivity. So, tags, lights, crowds, noise, food, texture, smells, that sort of thing. Uh, number two, emotional intensity and empathy overload. That's a big one. Empathy overload. That's like an understatement. I shared on another video, uh, how I had come across a post where they had sent the dog up to space like years ago and it must have been like the anniversary of the dog or whatever of it happening. But they knew when they were sending the dog up to space it was going to die. And I let myself read it because I'm like, "Oh, a dog. Let's read this." And it completely like ruined my day. And this was about a month ago I read it, maybe even longer. It's still like ruining my life over this because of the empathy overload. Like it's, I would call it empathy overwhelm because it, it's so bad that it just takes over and I have to just drop everything and leave. Oops, I was holding my little, my rock and I just threw it. Good thing I didn't hit the camera. Anyway, that's the empathy overload. Gets really intense to the point where I have to like walk away and distract my brain for something else because I just, I can't get over it. Number three, rigid routines or rituals, but we call them structure. I do that. I'm very structured, in fact, but it's rigid routines and rituals, and I don't like breaking any of them. I can, I can. Nobody sees that I'm like super annoyed and I want to pull my hair out. I hide all that. But if my routine breaks up during the day or my ritual, it's like a big deal to me inside. Completely big deal. Uh, where are we at? Number four. One, two, three. Yeah, number four. Struggling with transitions and simple daily tasks or sudden changes. This is big. Um, where am I going with this? There's the word I was looking for. Autism inertia is the word I believe. Anyway, it's the functioning. I lost the word. I was going to say words are hard for me today. Anyway, so what it is, um, is say if you're doing something and you get distracted, it's hard to go back and finish doing what it is that you were doing or you're doing one thing and then you need to shift and start another task. That shifting can be really hard. For me, it's, uh, I always wondered why I was so busy throughout my day. I am so busy throughout my day and I got absolutely nothing done and I couldn't figure out why. And this was why. Um, it's struggling to transition between the simple daily tasks and the sudden changes. I've done videos on this, but the term is actually, has lost my mind. I, I don't know. It's gone now. But anyway, it's autism inertia. If you do a simple Google search, it'll, it'll bring up and it'll explain why. It's quite fascinating.

Okay, the next one is chronic overthinking, anxiety, shutdowns when overwhelmed. Many of us struggle with that. And the next is needing more recovery time after socializing. I need a lot of recovery time after socializing.

So, why this realization can be healing? Realizing that you might be neurodivergent is honestly, it's huge. And here's why. It's not about putting yourself in a box with a label. I hate that. Don't do that. Burn the box. We don't want labels. It's about understanding why certain things feel so overwhelming and exhausting. So, instead of using it as a label, use it as power for yourself because it's very empowering to know that you're not broken, that you don't need to be fixed, that there's nothing wrong with you, that you're not too much, you're not not enough. You're just wired differently. And that's okay. Right? So use it more as a learning tool instead of the label of, oh, I can't do that because of this. I really hate labels. Burn that box with a label on it.

Once we understand it, we can stop blaming ourselves for everything we are not or everything that we think we are too much of. This knowledge, it can be so freeing. It's like we finally get to breathe. The best way I can explain it, it's like we finally get to breathe. We can stop pretending, stop pushing away things that feel natural to us. And when I say that, we do this because a lot of the things that feel natural to us aren't accepted in society as normal. So then we'll get the people that have to voice their opinion on, oh well, if you did this, you would feel better. If you did that, oh, why don't you go get a life? And why don't you work the traditional job? Well, that doesn't always work for some people and that's okay. And knowing this, it gives us, I, I want to say the confidence to be able to live the life that feels more natural to us so that we can start working with our brain and not against it. And things will start flowing into place much easier. Things, life, tasks get a lot easier once we start allowing it. For example, many stores have high-sens, high-sensory hours. Did you know that for neurodivergence? I know, I'm pretty sure Walmart is one. I know Walmart in our area is, um, and many of our smaller grocery stores have that. It's usually earlier in the morning and that's when they're, they're not going to have music on. Usually, there's not near as many people shopping. Um, they'll have the television shut off because the electricity, which sounds crazy, but I know if you're highly sensitive, you know what I mean? When you can hear the electricity going through the TV and it's like claws going down a chalkboard. Horrible. So, that's what I mean. When we allow ourselves or when we understand neurodivergence and allow ourselves to be that way, uh, because that's what we relate to, then we can start shopping at those hours and it's okay. There's nothing wrong with it. And grocery shopping becomes almost enjoyable. Almost, not quite, but almost.

So, working with our brain instead of against it. And that, that's power. That truly is. Neurodivergence isn't a label. Don't use it as a label. It's a key to understanding why the world feels so loud and intense and why silence feels like home.

So, did any of this hit home for you guys? Let me know. Let me know if you're an INFJ who's always felt a little bit too weird for the world. Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's your beautifully different brain. And that's okay. Let me know in the comments if this hit home.

Thanks for joining me. I really appreciate it. Again, if you're interested in the new class I'm excited about, guide to navigating sensitivity overload, check out the link in the descriptions. Also, registration is still open for April's INFJ meet and greet connection circle. If you want to connect with other INFJs, autistic INFJs in a safe place, this is the place to go. It's one of my most favorite things. The link is in the description of this video. If you want to learn more, thanks for joining me. Feel free to share this and again, I invite you to subscribe to my channel and like this video. I would appreciate the support. Thanks for joining me and I'll see you soon with another video. Bye-bye for now.