Transcription
A lot of people who fear starting over look like idiots. They look dumb because you're staying in things that actually make you look worse than if you started over.
Hello everybody and welcome back for another video. What a beautiful day to be tuning into today's video. So, how is everyone doing today? I hope everyone is doing wonderful and that your 2026 is off to an amazing start.
As someone who is taking pride in this year being about building a strong community and really banding together like-minded women, this video is really going to help you release some old patterns, some things that have just been weighing you down, things that you are trying to avoid, or even some patterns that you subconsciously have that maybe you didn't even realize were a part of your day-to-day life. Today we are going to be discussing things to finally ditch so that you can conquer your 2026.
I made sure to watch back some videos that I've made similar to this in the past so that I knew exactly what to not talk about. I want new points, new ideas, and a tin of nuance because as someone who is evolving and growing and changing and transforming, there needs to be nuance in a lot of these discussions because things are drastically different than how they even were 5 10 years ago. We are living different. Money is different. Life is different. Our mental health is different. The world is just different. And we need to make sure that we are prioritizing that in our mindset when we are creating certain habits and patterns and trying to establish ourselves in the world.
I am someone who is realizing that the more that I pour into myself in a healthy way, the better I feel and the better that I perform. And it's my goal and mission as a woman who is constantly bettering myself to put that out there for you guys so you can take these particular patterns and ideas with you in your own personal life.
I was actually going to do an entire video today about the Christy Sarah divorce and all the things going on in the media in regards to her marriage and the essentially disillusion of it, but I wanted to actually put that on my podcast. So if you guys want to hear me talk all about that, please go tune in to my podcast. I am going to be recording that later today and it will probably go up next week. And being that I am an empath and it's not really my goal or mission to gossip or to even really be commenting in depth on people's lives. It's just not my thing. I wanted to touch on it in a very tasteful way and discuss cheating and womanhood and growing your career as a woman and how you can really pivot in all of that. So go check out the Hail Yes Podcast YouTube channel. I have my entire podcast now on there and anywhere where you guys get your podcast.
Today's video is sponsored by BetterHelp. There was a phase in my life where I used to ignore a lot of the signs that I was feeling destabilized or dregulated. But now that I've gotten older and I like to get ahead of all the things that I'm going through, I really think that it's important that when you feel disregulated or emotional or you identify specific patterns or habits that you do that could be completely throwing you off your routine that you identify those issues so that you can better perform in life. This is exactly why I love therapy and why I specifically love BetterHelp.
BetterHelp makes accessing therapy so simple because you get to access it in the privacy of your own home, on your schedule, on your time. They will set you up with a licensed therapist who will give you an unbiased opinion and just overall listening ear for anything that you are going through. They will essentially match you with somebody that is based on your own needs and preferences. And if you would like to switch your therapist, you have the option to do that at any time, free of cost. It's super quick, it's super easy. You're going to fill out a quick questionnaire where you answer some questions about yourself and they will match you with somebody as soon as possible.
BetterHelp also accepts HSA and FSA cards, which makes it easier to prioritize your mental health. In the year of 2024, over 137,000 people actually use their HSA and FSA benefits to support themselves through therapy. Going to therapy is a sign of strength and not weakness. And I am a big believer in being able to identify the patterns and the habits and the thoughts that you have so you can better manage them with someone today. So if you guys want to prioritize your mental health in 2026, then please check out BetterHelp. My sponsor BetterHelp makes accessing therapy simple. So you guys are going to go to betterhelp.com/haley to get 10% off your first month of therapy today. Thank you again, BetterHelp, for sponsoring today's video. Now, let's get back into today's topic.
Okay, number one, you need to ditch this in order to conquer 2026, and it's the fear of offense. This is really difficult for a lot of people pleasers and people who are just extremely empathetic and understanding of other people's emotions and just how what we do impacts other people. But a lot of people can really use that to leverage you, to control you. Because in order for them to continue with their own personal narrative, a lot of the times they will attack how you show up so that you can kind of go along with whatever they want and it stunts your own personal growth.
As someone who really struggled with this for a little bit, I can say that overcoming it was the best thing that I could have ever done. Now, the truth is I haven't fully overcome my fear of offense because I even have been super pissy and even just very buttoned up in a lot of my career in fear of offending people. Now, I think that there is a difference between considering people's feelings and fearing them. Considering people means that you have a respect and understanding for how what you say impacts other people. But fearing it means that you are afraid that if you speak or if you say something a certain way or if you have an opposing opinion or idea that you fear what they're going to do with that.
Now, as someone who considers myself to be very empathetic and considerate, I have decided to say screw the fear of offense and let me just be more considerate, but still say things that maybe require a little bit more thinking and where I can articulate them the best of my ability. But at the end of the day, if somebody chooses to be offended by what I say, by how I show up, by what I do, that is not my problem. A lot of people are going to make you feel like you have to play small because of how you even look by how you talk, the experiences that you've had, the privileges that you've had, even just from the opportunities that you've been presented and have taken. And it is not your responsibility to apologize for that.
A lot of what is stunting your growth to get to the next chapter, whether that is in career, in making money, in stepping into a new role, in starting your body transformation, is your fear that somebody that you care about or people around you are going to be offended, have comments about it, or are not going to like it. And that will always be the thing that will prevent you from prevailing. You need to get rid of the fear of offending people. You could literally just purely exist and it offends people and that is not your responsibility. So, it is time to ditch that.
A great place to start is to show up in a respectable way that is geared toward bettering yourself and kind of analyze who around you is in support and who isn't. Those who are not in support of how you are showing up in a positive way, create distance between you and that person. It is really imperative that we identify who supports our goals and our habits and our better self versus who is offended by it. And if you notice that people are that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to cut everyone off and become like this angry, bitter, I don't want to deal with anybody kind of person. But it is important that we create distance between things that are disrupting our peace. So, in your process to bettering yourself, stay around people who are going to support that cause, that are going to align with you, that are going to feel good in your presence, not people who are going to stunt it, that are going to stop it, that are going to be offended by it. That will only hold you back and prevent you from actually taking those next steps.
The next thing that I want you to ditch in 2026 is irregularity. Anything that is irregular, that does not have like a routine or a pattern or even just a disregulated nervous system, I want you to get a hold of that and ditch all of the things that are causing that. Whether it is you not having a routine, whether it's you not having a schedule, whether it's you not running a tight ship in your own life, it is crucial that we run tight ships in our life. And that is what is going to support a lot of our major habits and goals.
We need to be able to say, "Actually, not tonight. Actually, that's too much. I'm not going to bite off more than I can chew. I need to be able to schedule my life in a way where I can show up as my best self. And I'm not saying that every day is going to be perfect. Sometimes I'm going to feel a little eh, but overall my daily, weekly, monthly life isn't too drastic of a difference. I think a lot of people, they start their goals at the beginning of January. They go sober. They start working out every day. They're doing all of these insane things that are kind of supporting a bigger goal, but then they fall off and they go the drastic opposite route because everything just felt too much. I really want you guys to find that balance so that you can be more scheduled and routined with your life.
Irregularity completely messes up your circadian rhythm. It throws off your mood, your hormones. It throws off your ability to feel like you can stick to goals and habits. It doesn't allow you to be happy. you can't feel like you're actually achieving anything. There's so many things that being disregulated does to you. So, I want you to get a hold of that. Start taking supplements. Start researching what your body needs and how it needs it. What ways can you support yourself through this process? If it's working out a certain amount of time every day and that feels like a max limit that you can do and actually sustain, do that. Stop pushing yourself to do things that are never going to stick. Granted, I'm not saying that we should be playing small, but we should be playing in a balanced area to where once we start to feel good about that, then we can increase our ability to do more. But don't start so drastic to where it throws you off and then you can't stick to it.
When I was living very up and down up and down where maybe at the start of the week I'm like super regulated I'm doing amazing and then towards the end of the week I'm not waking up early I'm drinking too much I'm overeing it doesn't allow you to really see things come into fruition having a more scheduled and routine and regulated life allows you to see your goals come to the surface so just try to figure out a way to regulate yourself and to not throw off anything anymore just stick to things be someone who's able to stick to stuff.
Okay, next up, this is huge to ditch in 2026 and it's emotional unawareness. This is really affecting you guys because you're not even aware of how your emotions are impacting you and how they show up in your current life. When we are trying to better ourselves and become the women that we've always wanted to be, we need to identify where our emotions are affecting our lives or where they are stunting our growth and what things trigger poor emotions, better emotions, and everything in between.
I was lying to myself a lot of the times when I really wanted something, but what I really wanted was causing me to have a negative feeling or emotion. Let's just say for an example, I'm dealing with a guy who I really like, but every time I'm with this person, I feel anxious. They give me this like incredibly uncomfortable feeling and I feel completely disregulated with this person and even when they're gone. This is emotional unawareness because you are not allowing yourself to realize, hey, this is showing up for a reason and how can I show up better? What can I do to not have this emotion be present in my life? Because it was stunting me.
A lot of the times these poor emotions affect how you eat, how you wake up, the things you think about in the day-to-day, how you are interacting with other people, how you are setting goals for yourself. This is huge. So when you realize that there are so many things in our life that can impact our emotions, how can you change that? Not only do I think that people need to understand their emotions and learn how to cope with them better, but also understand how to remove certain things from your life to create better emotions. Whether that is people, places, or things. I don't care what it is, but sometimes there are things that are being held over our heads, whether it's consciously or subconsciously, that are causing us to not get to the next step because it's affecting us so significantly that it doesn't allow us to show up as our best selves.
It is our duty as women, especially if you're an adult watching this, to make decisions that are best for our lives. Even if it means hurting someone else or hurting ourselves temporarily. It's really difficult to really grasp this idea, but once you do, you'll never do this to yourself again. You will never be emotionally unaware, and you will never be flippant with how important your emotional health is. It really is something that shows up in all aspects of our life. So, I no longer deal with people who cause me to be anxious. I no longer put other people first because that makes me feel like I've forgotten about myself. I no longer let people get under my skin so much to where it affects my entire life to where I'm sick to my stomach and I can't do anything. If ever I notice that things are escalating down a route that is not going to be easy to come back from, I start to reel things in.
So there's a lot of things you can do. You can cope better. You can react better. You can learn to get over things easier. And you can also remove things to allow yourself to have a better emotional health. So these are all things that you need to get a hold of in 2026 to show up better. When we notice what things cause certain emotions, we no longer not see it and we start to use it as our guide. So I know what particular traits I look for in people that I can stay connected to and stay in close proximity to. I love people who are at peace, who don't enjoy chaos, who are extremely organized, who are independent, who think for themselves, who practice reciprocity. These are all things that I really look for in connection so that I can build a healthy circle around me. And whenever things don't feel like that, I learn to create distance. I don't necessarily look at everything as black and white. So, I'm not going to cut off everyone that doesn't possess those qualities. I just don't want to be in close proximity to them because I know what it does to my mental health.
Number four, this is huge. I really want you guys to ditch this in 2026 because I think a lot of you guys are struggling to ditch this and it's because I think we're conditioned to do these things and it's breaking your own boundaries. It is very normal for people to create like really strong boundaries for themselves and break them based off of liking someone or feeling bad or just kind of forgetting how important this boundary was for you. This is so imperative for you to recognize so that you stop doing it.
I am the queen of breaking my own boundaries if I don't view it as that big of a deal. But what ends up happening is it becomes a trickle down effect. So for instance, let me give a great example. Let's just say one of your boundaries you don't want to stay up past 10:30 p.m. every night and you're doing a really great job with it maybe for the first quarter and then by the second quarter you meet someone who has an interesting schedule and the only time that they're able to really call you or be in attendance in your life is super late at night. So now you are making that adjustment and you're only speaking with this person at midnight, 1:00 in the morning. And you don't view it as that big of a deal cuz you're like, you know what, this is when I can speak with this person is what it is. And then what ends up happening is the next day you're waking up a little later. Then you're lethargic the day after that. Then you're just feeling like, wait, okay, now my day is escaping me. and it becomes a trickle down effect where it starts off being not that big of a deal, but then it eventually actually affects other aspects of your life.
I have learned that by instilling strong boundaries, it allows me to not only goal set properly and see things come into fruition, but it also allows me to stop having resentment towards other people because it's not somebody else's fault that I'm breaking my own boundary. It's my fault and I have to take accountability for it. So certain things just don't work in my life and that's okay. And you have to learn to be able to say the same thing. I don't know what your boundaries are. Maybe you need to sit down and write them. But I know a few of my boundaries that are extremely concrete. I refuse to waver on in 2026 because it affects my life as a whole. It starts off being not that big of a deal, but down the line it affects other things. And you have to learn that the reason why the boundary is in place is because it affects your life. Try to nip it in the butt early and say, "Uh, that's a boundary of mine. I can't do that." And in creating these boundaries, you need to also respect other people's boundaries as well because other people have specific boundaries and we tend to push them and then we'll waver on our own because we pushed theirs. No, don't push other people's and don't get rid of your own.
Okay. Number five, this is huge and it's getting rid of the lack of personal reflection. We need to be able to reflect on our decisions, our habits, and our life earlier rather than later. I think a lot of us, we let things pile up. We let things kind of get to us for a long period of time and then we reflect later. Don't do that anymore. It is so crucial that we do a personal reflection of our week each week and we kind of ask ourselves, okay, like what could I have done better? What things did I really enjoy this week? What things could I have prioritized more? and just kind of reflect on the overall week, what you would rate it, and how you can show up better the following week. This allows you to stick to things a lot easier, and it allows you to be accountable. If you really want to prioritize your mental health, your physical health, and your goals in 2026, personal reflection will help you. You're not allowing things to go by the wayside for too long.
I was a huge believer in if I [ __ ] up, then I could just keep [ __ ] up because I already started it. No. A huge thing that I've realized is, yeah, maybe you'll mess up on a Wednesday, but if you pick back up with your goals on Thursday, it's as if Wednesday really never happened. You're just kind of restarting again. But I think a lot of people, they'll mess up on that Wednesday and they'll be like beating themselves up over it that Thursday, Friday, Saturday, they allow to fall by the wayside as well. How is that logic helping you? I much rather eat a cheat meal on Monday, be mad at myself about it by Monday night, and then just do better on Tuesday rather than thinking I ruined my entire week, and just being upset about it. That is not serving my greater goal. I want to be someone who is actionable, who is accountable, who understands that yes, I am a human. Things are going to happen, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to allow things to continue happening when I'm aware of it. Trying to ignore things is your way of saving yourself from shame. I don't want you to shame yourself in 2026, but I want you to be accountable. And in order to do that, you need to have personal reflection. So let's get rid of us not having that and do some audits of each week. Create better goals for ourselves, things that are more sustainable and try to maybe maneuver a few things in our life to make things easier to achieve and you'll see more things happening for you and you'll be happier with the outcome.
And this actually goes into my final point number six and I want you guys to ditch this in 2026 and it's the fear of starting over. People fear starting over and it keeps them in situations that they should not be in for way too long. This is something that a lot of people have issue with. And as someone who had the fear at one point and has overcome it, it gets so much better when you stop fearing it. A lot of the fear of starting over is you fearing what society will think. And I'm telling you, it's just holding you back. Society thinks negative things anyways. People will always find something wrong with you regardless if you're perfect or if you're imperfect. Somebody's going to say something. Okay? So what you need to do is what is in the best interest of your life. When you start prioritizing what is best for you, you no longer really care about what other people think.
I am a big believer in advocating for myself to have more money, to have a better love life, to have good connections, to look my best. And I don't care however I have to get there. I don't want other people's opinions of that to impact whether I do it or not. I want to continue becoming better. And a lot of the times it takes that discomfort of making a decision to start over, to re-evaluate, to refocus, to take care of myself and nurture some of the things that I need to nurture at that moment and then to begin again.
A lot of people who fear starting over look like idiots. They look dumb because you're staying in things that actually make you look worse than if you started over. You're fearing other people commenting on your start when most people usually are keying about you doing things that you shouldn't. And I don't care what it is. It could be you staying in a relationship too long. You being afraid of downsizing because you're afraid people are going to say something about you moving to a smaller place, but you're doing it for financial reasons. Or let's just say you have to move back in with your parents. Or you want to go back to school because you don't like your current situation. or you want to start a completely different career, but you've been doing this one career for a long time, but this is what your true passion is, and you're afraid of doing it. Anybody who stops themselves from doing what they feel intuitively led to go, you're only preventing yourself from the growth and transformation that you deserve.
When we fear starting over, what we really fear is the unknown. But I want you guys to start getting uncomfortable with the opposite of the fear of unknown, which is knowing exactly how life is going to go if you continue in this predicament. Whether it's in a relationship, in a career, in an unhappy situation, in a money pit, I don't care what it is. You should be fearing what you do know is going to happen if you stay versus what you don't know is going to happen if you leave. Start over. It always gets better. And especially if you're being advantageous and doing something for the best interest of your future and of your life, start over. Let go of this obsession of looking a certain way and actually become the way that you want to be, not the way that you want to appear.
If you ditch these six things, your year will transform. It will be so drastically different than the year prior. You won't even recognize yourself. This is how you build selfrust. This is how you build confidence because you're actually doing things that take a lot of work. And it's not even the work you think it is. It's just biting that bullet and just making that decision to stop doing things that are not serving you. We need to be more actionable with our life. And I think what it does is it actually guides you to a way that a lot of people will never experience. And it's that everlasting happiness. And I am here to share that with you.
As someone who has started over, who has had to regulate my emotions, who has had to start creating better boundaries and all these things that I mentioned today, I can sit here and tell you that you feel so much better when you actually prioritize these things. It is the one thing that's getting in the way of your better self. And I hope that it feels good kind of hearing this as a reassurance because a lot of these things you probably kind of knew but you were pushing out due to just not wanting to do the work. If you do the work, you will see a different type of excellence in your life. So, I'm praying that you're able to do it. I know you guys will be able to if you just push yourself a little bit this year. And I'm here to help you. I'm here to be there for you. I am your little support. And I am also a great example of what it looks like when you do it. So, I hope that I'm showing how amazing that example is. And I will continue to be that person for you guys.
Let me know down below what particular things you're trying to ditch in 2026. Whether it's the ones I mentioned or something else that I didn't mention, I would love to hear from you. And again, make sure to subscribe to the Hail Yes podcast to hear my more intricate story times and my commentary on specific things. I'm going to dive a little bit deeper over there. So, please go and do that. And also follow me on Instagram if you want to see more of my life. I love you guys so much and I will see you guys in the next one. Bye everyone.