Transcription
I shared this morning on the law of diminish attention and we take our test from Proverbs chapter 25 verse 17. Proverbs 25 verse 17, contemporary English version. Please follow each of these scriptures, very, very important. Proverbs 25:17, contemporary English version. It says, "Don't visit friends too often, or they will get tired of it." The law of diminishing attention. They will get tired of it and start hating you. It is a natural law. There is nothing wrong with that. Friend, it is a natural law.
God's Word translation, it says, "Do not set foot in, do not set foot in your neighbor's house too often, too often, otherwise he will see too much of you and hate you."
The Message, it says, "And when you find a friend." So it even has to do with people that God wants you to be very close to. That even though God wants you to be very, very close to these persons in your journey of life, there is a rule of engagement, a rule of interaction, that except you are conscious of it, naturally, you will break that rule. And you will not also be offended by the time that friend, that relative, that host naturally now begins to react the same way it has been predicted here. He said, "When you find a friend, don't outwear your welcome. Show up at all hours, all hours, and he will soon get fed up."
In Proverbs 4:7, Proverbs 4:7, we are reminded of the value of wisdom in our journey of life. Good News translation says, "Getting wisdom is the most important thing you can do. Whatever else you get, get insight." The spirit of wisdom demands that you be mindful of two critical things: how often you reach out, you call, you send messages, you visit, you hold meetings with certain people. And it also demands that you be very sensitive to how long, how long you allow those calls, those visits, those meetings to hold. That your relationship with these genuine friends and destiny partners would be operating at the best possible level if you can ensure you don't visit them, reach out to them more than necessary. And when you also spend time with them, but sensitive to also realize that there is a point in time you need to take your leave. And this is part of what we keep that relationship at the best level.
Wisdom is knowing. It has three steps, three major steps. Wisdom is knowing how best to achieve a desired goal and getting it done within the right time. In Ecclesiastes chapter 9:15, Ecclesiastes 9:15, Living Bible, it says, "There was in the city a wise man, very poor, and he knew what to do to save the city, and so it was rescued." So there are three steps to wisdom. Step one is knowing what best to do. The second major step in wisdom is doing it or getting it done. Wisdom does not demand that you should do all things that you need to get done. In fact, in some dimensions of wisdom, you are supposed to delegate or outsource what needs to be done rather than doing it yourself. It will be unwise to do everything yourself. So step two of wisdom is doing it or getting it done.
Then step three of wisdom is doing it within the right time. The right time. So what is the right time? In Matthew 25:10, Matthew 25:10, the right time implies doing something on time. Doing something on time. In Proverbs 22:6, the lesson you pick from there is that the right time implies doing something at the best time. That proverb says, "Train your child in the way that he should go, and when he is old." So that shows there is a particular phase of life, and that is age 0 to 20. That is the best time to groom, to train, to coach, and mentor your children in the right ways of life. Proverbs 29:1 will also, in fact, from there that the right time means the proper time, the proper time to do something. The proper time.
And then in Genesis 41, from the experience of Joseph, as he recommended what should be done in the first seven years of national prosperity and the next seven years of national famine, you would infer from there that the right time means correct timing to do something within the correct time. The correct time. And there are other times where the right time will infer duration of time, length of time. There are some things that should not be longer than 5 minutes, it should not be longer than 10 minutes, not longer than one hour. The right time. It could also mean the order of time, the best order of events. What should come first before the other one? For instance, in Genesis chapter 1, you see how God worked in this wisdom. God created water first before creating fish. So the right time implies the right doing things in the proper order, the perfect order of events. There's a right time to buy, there's the right time to sell, there's the right time for something to take off, for something to start. There's also a right time for something to close. Another dimension of timing. And the right time is how often or frequent certain things should be done. How often, how frequent.
Another major attribute of wisdom is that wisdom teaches you how best to relate with people. How best to relate with people. A lot of our journey here on Earth has to do with relating first with God, and then relating with people. Relating with people. Wisdom teaches us how best to relate with people in different circumstances. And in relating with people, you would need to relate with them at the right time. You will need to relate with them being conscious of the right timing for different things that need to be done. You would also need to relate with people being conscious of how often, how frequent certain things should be done.
One of those things the Lord wants you to avoid and prevent as much as possible, become a victim of the abuse of familiarity. In Proverbs 25:17, God's Word translation, it says, "Do not set foot in your neighbor's house too often, too often, otherwise he will see too much of you." No wonder the law of familiarity is also called the law of sea finish. The law of sea finish. The law of sea finish. That is, familiarity states that the more thoroughly we know a person and are aware of their shortcomings, the more likely we are to take them for granted. To take them for granted. Also, the more frequently we do a particular thing, the more likely we are to take it for granted. There is a natural tendency for most people to become subsequently less attracted, less appreciative, less interested in something or someone that they are too used to. That they are too used to. There is a tendency to become less appreciative of things that are constantly available to you or things that are constantly around you. It is a natural tendency.
And so we have to look at it from both sides. Don't visit your friends too often. And the word "visit" here stands for many things. The word "visit" here also means call. Call. Call. In fact, calls are more demanding than even messages. If somebody has to start answering calls from 500 people on his or her birthday, that is enough to stress someone who is already above a certain age level. But it will be easier for that person to handle 5,000 messages if they are just forwarded as SMS messages, chat messages, not verbal calls. Don't call them too often. Number two, don't spend too much time when you call or visit them. Don't spend too much time, too much time when you call, when you visit them.
So going back to Proverbs 25:17, two major takeaways. One, an experience of diminishing attention or diminishing warm reception from your host, from a friend, from a partner, or an audience could be due to excess in the frequency in the excess in the frequency of those interactions. It means the visits, the calls are too frequent. They are too often. They happen too often. The time interval or space between the previous time and the next one is too close. It's too close. It's too short. Space out your visits. Space out your calls. I can tell you this, even when people are tired, if they have not heard from you for a long time, when you call them, they will answer. Even when they are tired. And what will energize them to answer even when they're tired is because they have not heard from you. They have not spoken with you for a long time. And in the same vein, if you have already been in touch with the person regularly, and the person is tired, the next time your call comes in, the person may, like you won't hear, but the person may likely say, "Oh, oh."
When people make calls, send messages, pay visits, hold meetings too often or too frequently with very little time interval, the law of diminishing attention will set in. So we should ask ourselves, how often should this particular thing be done? Because anything that will require people's interest, people's attention, people's attendance, people's participation, people's commitment, the interval must be wide. This also applies to events, meetings, programs that demand people's interest, attention, contribution, attendance, participation, or commitment. Even when it is going to be online, even when that meeting is going to be online, you can't just hold it too frequently. Attendance will gradually begin to dwindle and reduce. It's a law of diminishing attention.
The second major takeaway from Proverbs 25:17 is that an experience of diminishing attention or diminished warm reception from your host, your friend, your partner, or an audience could also be due to excess in the duration of time. Excess in the duration of time. The length of time. When the duration or length of time of the event or activity is too long, too prolonged, exhausting, stressful. So apart from doing things infrequently, even when you do it, most times you need to be sensitive to the time. So when you make calls, when you hold meetings, when you host a particular event, ensure that it doesn't last too long. When you pay visits, ensure you don't stay for too long. So we need to ask ourselves from time to time, how long should this particular thing last? What is the ideal or optimum timing for this particular thing? We should work towards it.
So this proverb is teaching us not to overstay our welcome. People may love you, but that doesn't mean they need to see you or talk with you every second of every day. This has caused issues between couples. It has caused issues between engaged people, and it has caused issues between best of friends. It's wise to give people their space at times. Their space at times. Your presence is usually most appreciated by your host when it's not too frequent and when it does not last for too long. So please, let's all learn to respect people's space. Let's learn to respect people's time. And everyone has their own boundaries. Find out the boundaries that your closest friends have set for themselves, and let's respect the boundaries. Boundaries come in different ways. Find out what your loved ones don't like so that friendship will be healthy as you move forward closely together. There are physical boundaries, there are sexual boundaries, there are emotional boundaries, there are mental boundaries, there are material boundaries, and then of course, there are time boundaries. And that is very key to what we are sharing today. So let's try not to force ourselves on our destiny partners or loved ones too frequently or for too long. And I pray that God will continue to help us to walk in the light of this wisdom, in the name of Jesus. Praise you the Lord. Praise you the Lord.