Transcription
Right. Here's a good one. When you're dealing with ultra wealth of families, are you selling to the principal or to the gatekeepers who control access, which is essentially who you really need to charm, isn't it?
Um, >> yes. >> The person with the money or the person who tells you the person with the money is busy feeding the Labradors, which they >> Does the person with the >> Well, hang on. Does the person with the money actually do the feeding of the Labradors? >> Yeah, they might. The queen fed her own dogs. >> Oh, yeah. us fair. Okay. So, basically, they're just not they're busy just being not interested in whatever you're trying to sell, which is probably more often the case, right? >> Yeah. Exactly.
I always like to think of it like those Greek myths. You know, you've got the god at the top of the mountaintop who's the principal, >> right? >> But before you can get anywhere near them, you have to get past um Cabaris or Sberus if you if you're going to pronounce >> Hang on a moment. Sorry. Cberus is the way I thought you pronounced it, but let's carry on. >> Cberus is how we pronounce it in the UK. Cberus is more um Greek, >> right? >> Anyway, it's the three-legged dog. The three-headed dog, not the three-legged dog, you know, except instead of those three heads, you know, it's probably a PA or a family office or >> a cousin who has failed his A levels but somehow controls the yacht schedule. We've all got one. That's hilarious. Sometimes though, um, and right, how do I say it? Kerburous. Cerus >> or Cberus, you choose. >> Cberus. No, I want to do it properly. I don't want to, you know, this is the thing. I've just only ever read it. But sometimes Cerberus bites, right? And I had a client once tell me that their assistant had uh once deliberately miss uh mislaid a sales p proposal because they didn't like the sale salesperson's tone and the principal never even knew it existed. >> Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. It's a perfect example. People assume that wealth equals autonomy, but actually the more money you have, the less you do for yourself. Everything is delegated, you know. So in the end you end up with this army of gatekeepers whose job is to to filter you know because they're not just controlling the access to you. They're they're actively deciding who makes it through. It's like um family systems in therapy because everyone thinks the identified patient or client is the one with the uh the issue. But actually the real dynamic is happening elsewhere and the one who looks quiet who sits, you know, in that corner, the one who's not saying very much at all, that's the one you need to watch. And it's the same with families and money, right? Because you can charm the patriarch all day long, but if the daughter doesn't like you, that's it. You're done. >> Yeah, totally. I mean, I've actually seen that veto in action. I watched I watched a jeweler pitch a necklace where the GDP of a small country to to this woman and she was nodding along. She obviously loved it. The salesperson thought that they had the sale in the bag. And then the daughter, who had been completely ignored up to this point and was sitting next to her, just muttered one word under her breath. Vulgar. >> And the whole deal collapsed faster than Jenga at a six-year-old's birthday party. >> That's awful, >> right? Yeah. >> Which makes then the answer to the question less about either or. It's not principal versus gatekeeper. It must be both, right? You can't ignore the principle, but you also can't get anywhere without the people who run their life. >> Yes, absolutely. But but it, you know, it it it's worse than that because sometimes the gatekeeper is the principal. >> I mean, I don't mean literally, but sometimes they swap roles, you know. So the principal might one day wake up and decide that they want to actually sign off on everything which happens and then they get bored. So the next day they're back to golfing or shopping or doing whatever they're doing and then the CFO makes the call. So you know the pieces move around >> like chess. >> Yeah. Except that the pawns become queens. the queens turns into bishops and the king is asleep in the corner somewhere which is which is basically utter chaos >> and that's where like most people are going to get it wrong. Right. >> Right. >> Because they'll walk into a room and think they know who the decision maker is. They know that the queen is the queen and they focus all their attention on that one person when actually in reality the real decision will be made be made I don't know in the car on the way home by the person that they completely ignored. >> Yeah, totally. True story. client told me uh long ago that um one of um my competitors in India so we were both going for the same contract >> but the competitor lost a contract because they didn't offer the chauffeur a coffee >> so they were yeah which is wild isn't it so they were at Clarages in Delhi not the same as Clarages in London >> um meeting this client and they were you know they were so we were pitching for it and they were pitching for it as well >> of They thought they were being frightfully clever and um you know paying all attention to the principal, ignoring everybody else. But it turned out that um >> the chauffeur was practically family as happens in these families, you know, because they've been with them for like 30 years. And um the client asked afterwards in the car what he thought of both salespeople, both companies. And apparently the chauffeer said, "Well, the one from Luxury Academy was lovely because she'd said to him, "Do you want a coffee?" And the other and he said, "And the other seemed a bit offhand." >> So we got the contract. So I suppose the moral is when in doubt, offer coffee to the staff, >> but you should anyway, right? Because it's just the human thing to do. Um, >> yeah. It's not just coffee though, right? It's the recognition that everyone in that system matters, even the ones that you might think are incidental, maybe disposable and sometimes it's especially those people, especially from that story. >> Yeah, totally. Which is why the correct answer to this particular question, principal or gatekeeper, is actually system. You know, you're not selling to an individual per se. >> You're selling to an entire ecosystem. a very expensive and quite often dysfunctional ecosystem um where allegiances shift hourly but a system all the same. >> Yeah, absolutely. And if you don't clock that, you're going to waste your time polishing your pitch for the principal and the deal is secretly and quietly being strangled by the PA or the spouse or the chauffeur or the son with a new MBA who wants to show how tough and clever he is, right? or the daughter who thinks that you look like the kind of person who eats pot noodles. >> To be fair, I sometimes do. I rather like pot noodle. >> Me too. But let's not do it in front of them. Hopefully. >> No, but I mean the suspicion lingers and the sus and suspicion in these kind of families and and with these kind of clients, suspicion is lethal, >> right? Absolutely. That little seed of doubt. Right. So basically what you're saying is don't choose between principal or gatekeeper. Watch the whole system. Pay attention I don't know to the glances the silences. My lot would be brilliant at this because of the hyper vigilance. They would be so good at it. But um maybe that's why they do make good sales people. But anyway the kind of you you've got to watch for the after meeting corridor chats and look at where the decision really actually lives. >> Yeah. Exactly. So I mean the the the dining room or the meeting room or whatever is theater. The truth happens outside in the corridor which means that the only real skill is learning how to read the cast isn't it? You know once you can see who's holding the strings then you're going to know where to aim. Everybody else is quite literally just scenery. >> That's quite bleak. >> I mean, it's not bleak. It's clarifying and and besides, it makes things much more fun once you stop pretending it's rational because then you can enjoy the chaos. >> I mean, you particularly would enjoy the chaos, wouldn't you? >> Yeah, totally. I thrive in it. And if I didn't, you know, and if you know it's not going anywhere, just blame the chauffeur. At least give him coffee.