Transcription
How do you say a woman's past, Mars? Do you think it does or it doesn't?
I think it's irrelevant.
Yes, ma'am. You think it's irrelevant, but we have studies that show that the more sexual partners a woman had before marriage, the higher the chances of divorce or that that marriage being unhappy, ma'am.
Really? Doesn't everybody's past matter? Let me ask you this. Would you date a guy no matter what he's done in the past or are there certain things that he could have done in the past that would just eliminate him?
There's certain things they could have done in the past, but unless it bothers me and our relationship, I don't need to know about it.
Exactly. And that's where it becomes subjective, right? So, the first premise is everybody's past does matter to an extent and you'll then individually decide whether this particular thing, this amount of previous partners is okay or it isn't. I don't believe.
You can't do that because you're a misogynist. How dare you try to judge a woman by her past, but women can judge men by every measure that they want. Everything.
I don't believe in making rules for society. I don't believe in making rules for women or women should be making rules for men, but I think men should have a very clear standard as to what they're willing to tolerate in a relationship.
True.
This is a true story, okay? Client of mine, he didn't ask for body count in the beginning and then he finds out a year into the relationship that it was shockingly high for him subjectively. He started crying. And this is the guy who could have had a triple digit body count if he would have wanted to do, but he's Christian, you know, it's not his thing. And so, he then asked me what to do and I said, "Hey, listen, there's no right or wrong. If it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother you, but clearly it's bothering you." I said, "Let it go." Under style up to the some reframes. I said, "If this still bothers you in 4 weeks, it means unconsciously you're not okay with it. Your unconscious is telling you that you're not okay with it. And so, 4 weeks go by, it's not that it still bothers me. I'm doing therapy. I'm doing a retroactive jealousy course. What on earth is that, exactly? If you don't like her past, she's not wrong, but you're not wrong, either. Then, just don't be with her.