Transcription
Some of my absolute favorite cards in any set are the lands. It's kind of a weird statement, I know, but I just love fictional worlds. And it's in these land cards that I can often picture myself walking among the plains of Magic, just leaving behind the mundane day-to-day of Earth and engrossing myself in a new world. I imagine what it would be like to swim the beaches of Theos, to ride a train on Thunder Junction, or see the inventions of Kaladesh firsthand.
Which begs the question: where in the Multiverse would be the best place to call home for a regular person like you or I? So I did what any normal person would do. I researched every plane from head to toe, scoring each on comfort, safety, and how many days you would likely survive. Then ranked them from the worst to best. If only I knew what I got myself into.
From nightmare planes of hellish design to cozy forest communities and everything in between. Let's kick things off with the plane I would never recommend you even stop by for a short visit. But if you stay till the end, I will reveal the plane I have chosen as the best place in all the Multiverse to call home.
If the Multiverse of Magic had a hell, it would be New Phyrexia. Everything about this plane is hostile to organic life. Simply put, a flesh bag like you or I would soon find ourselves strapped to a table, a scalpel to your skin as your you're replaced bit by bit with steel. But hey, if you think flesh is weakness, then maybe you'd find something oddly satisfying about it. You do you. I'm not here to judge. But for the rest of us, the idea that you would stand out like a sore thumb among the sleek metal exterior of this world is unsettling.
Comprised of nine layers and ruled by five Praetors, New Phyrexia takes on the idea of completion in varied and horrifying ways. In some places, all flesh must go and be repl-aced with sleek, efficient metal. In others, it means a total devotion to spreading your way of life. Your skin flayed like crimson robes, a sign of your commitment. And in others, it might mean the vicious cycle of kill or be killed until you either die or adapt in gruesome ways.
Sure, you might try and go back in time before this plane was known as New Phyrexia, to when it was Mirrodin. But you'd not be much better off. With no vegetation or water, the face of the plane coated in steel, your human body would soon wither and die. Needless to say, New Phyrexia is at the bottom of the list because it is hostile to life in every way. As such, I grade this plane as a zero for comfort and a zero for safety, with a predicted total days of surviving at two. And maybe that's even being generous. My guess is that you would find a place to hide for a bit until until you caught the eye of one foul Phyrexian, then you would be swiftly taken away for completion. Sure, you would technically still be alive, but gone would be any resemblance to the person you once were. And every step of that process would be the sort of pain you've never experienced before.
In our next stop, things don't fare all that much better. Imagine, if you will, a world where every one of your darkest nightmares comes to life. That's Darksborn, inside House as it's called, a proper name for a proper entity. You find nothing is as it seems. The the walls shift, the rooms grow, and layers are devoted to specific fears. Monsters worse than any movie slashers, obsessed with the act of killing, and every other twisted concept that lies in the back of your mind. At the heart of House is a demon, ancient and vile, their will permeating everything. A sickness that swallows all.
But let's say you landed in one of the dark woods outside House, which would be the best-case scenario here. In the woods, everything is perpetually dark. The once dual suns reduced to the smaller, barely strong enough to emit a dull glow across the landscape. While camping out, you notice a crooked window where there once was just a bush, and before you know it, another and another. You stand to run, but as you turn, a door swallows you. And now you find yourself in House. From here, there is only torment and torture.
With all of this in mind, I scored the plane as a zero for for comfort and a one for safety, as there are survivors here and you could potentially learn to last a little longer under their guidance. Now, as for days survived, well, you would probably only last a good three days. One in your camp, one with the survivors. But on day three, one wrong turn and you find yourself in the hands of one of the Razor Kin.
Your flesh soft and ready for the slaughter. A little bit of garlic and a silver bullet won't do you all that much good on this Gothic core plane of Innistrad, where every corner hides a monster waiting to tear you apart. And hell, the humans of this world aren't much kinder either. Innistrad has dealt with many horrors over the years, from the slasher werewolf to the cosmic and supernatural. It isn't about if you lose your life in a horrific way here, but rather when. Sure, you could find a city and try and build a life, but such hopefulness is naive on Innistrad, where there is always this sense of dread, like a heavy blanket draped over the horizon. Because of this, I would rate the comfort of this plane as a two, because yes, you could find a job and attempt to settle down, but you would always be watching your back, sure that the next dark corner might hold your end. For the same reason, I would also rate the safety at a one, which I don't think it warrants much explanation. You get the idea at this point.
Now, I will say that you will be able to make it for a bit here. I calculate that you would last 28 days. You would arrive, drive to one of Innistrad's small towns, you'd find someone who pies you as a lost traveler, a fisherman who helps you find a job and gives you a place to stay in exchange for your work. After nearly a month, you really start to believe that you've found a new home. But one night, while walking home from the pub after you had a great night with your new mates, you notice a shadow seems to be following you. And before you can move, it's on you, sucking all the blood from your body, leaving but a husk in the streets. Another traveler to be forgotten.
Oh, Alara. A plane where death creeps in all around you, and nothing but a thin veil protects you from the endless desert where the dead crawl along sandy dunes. But even if you are inside of Alara proper, death is still everywhere. You watch mummies wrapped in bandages walk about the city, completing basic tasks. You come to learn that everyone is bound to the will of an ancient being, and that all who are able must train their whole life to compete in trials where there is only one winner. There is nothing else here for you, and these laws are enforced and held up as the true purpose by the gods who walk among you.
Since you're new here, you are allowed some days in training before the trial begins. Everyone seems hopeful and joyful, even. And yet, you can't break this sinking feeling. Nonetheless, training goes on for a month and some days. It's now the time of the trials. You know you aren't all that ready for some test, even if you have spent painful days training your body. But you are of age, and so you are sent. You should have known something wasn't right when they refer to you and the others as crops. You barely make it through the trial of solidarity with the help of your other crop mates, and you even make it past the trial of knowledge, clever as you are. But upon facing the trial of strength, you are swallowed whole by a giant crocodile.
As for my estimations, you survived 33 days. As for rating your stay, I would give this plane a score of three for comfort, as up until the trials, all your needs are taken care of by those mummies you saw when you entered. And even though the training is harsh, you come to appreciate it. But as for safety, well, I'll stick with a zero, because even if you could win every trial, the reward for all of your hard work is to die at the hands of Hazoret.
War, war never changes, especially on the plane of Tarkir, where conflict seems to be more of a way of life than something to avoid. Void Tarkir is a land of wild, untamed beauty and a rich history that is split between two timelines. One where the dragons are each masters of the five clans, or one where they are long since dead, and the humanoid inhabitants carry on in a similar structure. Either way, it's a land of perpetual conflict, where each of the clans are constantly at odds with one another, and the only moral code is strength.
Those five clans are important to note, as your allegiance will have to fall to one of them. They are Abzan, Jeskai, Sultai, Mardu, and Temur. From my experience, your best chance for living a longer life is to join the Jeskai monks and spend your days training and honing both body and mind. That said, it will be hard work, and the time will come where action must be taken. But it's a lot better than trying to prove yourself to the Mardu horde.
As such, I will score the comfort of this plane with a two, as in those cold mountains, you will lead a hard life, even if it's rewarding. As for safety, I would give it a two as well. Now, for how many days I calculate that you would survive, well, that would be a total of 44 days. Like I said, conflict finds you anywhere on Tarkir. And during a fight where you and other monks are defending one of your temples, you're mortally wounded. You do manage to put up a valiant fight, pushing on after losing an arm, but eventually, you succumb to your wounds and are left bleeding out in the snow. This life wasn't meant for someone accustomed to Earth's comforts.
Zendikar is a plane for those with an adventurous spirit, one where you can never be too certain of what's around the next corner. There's also no denying that it's a beautiful world with breathtaking scenery, but it's one that is unsympathetic to your capabilities. On Zendikar, the ground beneath your feet is always shifting, elemental forces come to life, and nothing around you seems to obey any logic, as stone stones the size of houses float above your head.
But for those who are athletic and adventurous, it's a world with a lot of amazing things to see and treasures to find. Of course, you lived your life comfortably on Earth up until now, and this isn't a plane that will give you a chance to sit and take a breather. Nor is it a world where any true city lasts long. Instead, most of its inhabitants are rather nomadic, like the Kor, who have learned to repel long cliff faces, or the Merfolk, who mingle with the turbulent seas.
Considering all of this, I would give this world a two for comfort, as there are breathtaking spots of serenity that can be found, even if it is temporary. And I will give it a two for safety, because your time here will be hard, as all it will take is one wrong step. That's why when we calculate your days survived, we find that you only make it 46 days. Sure, you may have ingratiated yourself with the Kor, who taught you their mode of transportation and allowed you to live among them, but after one of your hooks doesn't find purchase while swinging over a gap, you fall to your death. Your final moments recounting how you should have zigged where you zagged.
Auria, the plane of beasts, where humans are nowhere near the top of the food chain. Stepping foot on Auria means you better always be watching your back, and where you best not make any assumptions of what any animal is capable of. You see, evolution is running on hyper drive, and there isn't one creature you will find without a unique trait. Think of lions with wings, lava serpents, and sharks with arms, and any other wild thing your imagination can conjure up. That's also not to mention apex predators like Snapdax, who live to feast on humans, fueled by a hatred for them.
Once you land here, I would suggest you search for one of the human factions on the plane, who have each crafted unique ways to survive here. Like sky cities held up by hot air balloons, ones carved into the side of mountains with lava flows used like barriers, all the way up to the tried and true strategy of just building a giant wall. Either way, staying out in the open is not an option if you don't want to be something's dinner.
Considering all this, I would rate the comfort of this plane at a three, so long as you can get into one of the great cities. And then for safety, I would give it a two, as there isn't any other way you can slice it, life is going to be tough here. For us, I heal animals. That's why I would calculate that you would survive 54 days. Sure, you were lucky enough to be led into the Great Walls of Dranth, the so-called Invincible City, but one night, while watching the walls, a creature scaled it, only to find you sleeping at your post, gobbling you up before any of your allies could raise a spear.
Lorwyn, Shadowmoor. Is a plane of two faces, of cycles that bend from tranquility to nightmares, of day and night. You see, on this world, everything changes every 300 years during an event called the Great Aurora. During the so-called day cycle, the plane is known as Lónd, a land of perpetual daylight, with it never getting darker than dusk at the end of its days. While Shadowmoor is a land shrouded in eternal darkness, where the sun is obscured on the best of days. This contrast is perpetuated in everything, as Lorwyn is scenic and green, while Shadowmoor is haunting and gray.
Both sides of this world contain the same inhabitants, but upon the flip, neither remember their past life and they become a different version of themselves. During the eternal night, the faeries are devious beings who steal from your dreams, and during the day, the elves are creatures obsessed with beauty. For the rare visitor who does manage to stumble upon this world, they often note how idyllic it is to be among the beauty of this plane. But even then, that's giving the Lorwyn side a bit too much credit. You know those elves I spoke of? Well, they have a ritual of killing bogarts for simply being ugly. And compared to an elf, I don't think you would find yourself on their right side, anyways. And of course, if you're unlucky enough to land here during the night cycle, well, things get a lot worse.
It's obviously hard to rate a plane that is two and one, but I would place the score somewhere in the middle, giving it a three for comfort and a three for safety. Of course, you weren't so lucky, and and after a couple months into your stay, the lands shifted and the night fell. You managed to pull off another four days, at least you think it was. It's hard to keep track of time here. But while you sat huddled against a fire you crafted for warmth, you caught the attention of a group of Cinder, who, jealous of your flame, killed you and took it for themselves.
In the past, Alara was a fractured plane, split into five shards, each of which comprised of only three colors of mana, solidifying them as very distinct regions from one another. But after the conflicts, they have all come crashing back together, causing chaos across this world, as each shard clashes based on their fundamental differences. The regions in which these one-separated lands meet are often the places of the most conflict, as vastly different ways of life are like oil and water. With the lands of Esper attempting to assimilate the organic, the vile zombies of Grixis gnawing at all that is good, the warriors of Jund searching for a new hunting grounds, the elves of Nylea looking to spread out from their jungles, and the knights of Bant aiming to bring order to chaos, all of which will never find some happy middle ground. With constant war and inevitability, this is where you find yourself today.
As you arrive on Alara, comfort is a variable thing, and you would be lucky to live among the lands of Bant, though they would put you to work soon after. But anything would be better than finding yourselves in the lands of Grixis, where your flesh would be torn and consumed. So let's be generous and say that you live in the corner carved out by Bant, which would give you a score of four for comfort and four for safety, as the life of a knight requires of you bravery and a willingness to fight for your people. It's this duty put upon you that means you most likely will live for 83 days. The first couple months are spent training as a squire, a life you start to wonder will suit you, as even though it's tough there, you can feel a real sense of camaraderie, and you think to yourself that perhaps this isn't going to be all too bad. That is until you're finally sent on patrol of the borders on the 80th day. Accompanied by six knights and another squire, you march for a few days with little else but some small skirmishes. That is until you're ambushed in the night by a pack of zombies led by a terrifying demon. The next few moments are extraordinarily violent, and in the end, everyone is lost except for you, who is taken back to work the mines endlessly.
Exilon is beautiful, there's no doubt about it, with its lush jungles, crystal blue beaches, and breathtaking mountains. You might think to yourself that you found the perfect vacation spot in the Multiverse, but the reality is that Exilon is a wild place with danger equal to its beauty. Think Jurassic Park, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Aztec civilization all rolled into one. Oh yeah, and did I mention there's also vampire Conquistadors? So finding your place here won't be a walk in the park. No, it'll take a resourceful person to survive here, let alone thrive. Your best bet would be to pick one of the factions to join, as there is no going alone out here. Perhaps you could be taken in by the Merfolk, so long as you are a strong swimmer and are willing to always be on the move through the jungle and water. Another option is the Brazen Coalition, the major pirate faction made up of humans, goblins, and orcs, but you will have to prove you have an iron will and a desire for adventure to last any moment with them. Another suggestion, and one I don't take lightly, is the Legion of Dusk. Sure, they might see you as food, but if they do let you in, then you'd better be willing to take the Rite of Redemption and become a vampire. Finally, there is the Sun Empire, those who live alongside the dinosaurs.
Whatever your choice, I don't think it has as dire an effect on the score as you might think. Meaning, I would give it a four for comfort and a four for safety. As such, I calculate that you would last 89 days. Perhaps you took on the life of an adventurer, washed up on shore. The Brazen Coalition took you into their ragtag group of pirates. It's tough, but there is a sense of fun and adventure to be found. You feel a part of something, a group of outcasts who only have each other. But while sailing, you raid a Legion ship. A hard-fought battle ensues, but due to your lack of combat experience, you die fighting, a sword piercing your gut. And as you lay there bleeding out, one of the vampires drains what little life essence you have left.
Called Time, the plane of legends, sagas, and me. It's a plane where anyone can forge their own story. It's a world where the gods can walk among mortals, and a place where even the lowest serf can rise to the title of hero. But you better be willing to put yourself to the test, lest you cut your legend short and find your soul taken away, carried by one of the Valkyries. Cim, as a plane is split into 10 realms, with the omen paths bridging each world. You may know the omen paths from Magic's more recent stories, as the way in which non-planeswalkers can now travel between worlds. Well, this is where those paths originated.
As a human, you would most likely find yourself on Breya, but just because this isn't Ixalan or Karelia doesn't mean it's going to be a cakewalk. The humans of this realm are made from the same grit that is required to survive in a plane full of monsters, demons, and deities. So you best pick up an axe and be ready to swing it. That said, the inhabitants here are willing to share a cold drink by a warm fire, so long as you can prove yourself to be a worthy mortal. This is why I place its comfort score a bit higher than Exilon, at five, as we're starting to find ourselves surrounded by the comforts we were used to, but only just barely. As for safety, though, it makes it to a four out of ten score. Sure, you could somehow carve out a simple life, but at some point, you will be faced with great danger. Meaning, by my calculations, you'll only make it 104 days. You see, just when you're starting to find a rhythm, make some friends, and get acclimated to the cold weather, a doom scar rips open, and demons from Ixalan pour out. Your village is completely wiped out in a single raid. Death is everywhere you look, and while you were starting to get with the blade, it really was no match for the might of these vicious raiders.
Have you ever wanted to just be a cowboy? To hunt down bounties, wrestle some cattle, or rob a moving train? Well, then Thunder Junction is for you. The plane of misfits, outcasts, and outlaws. Here we have a plane that brings all the no-good, rough-and-tumble characters into one place. Like Alara, Thunder Junction is a desert plane, vast and endless, but at least here you can spend your days in a saloon rather than fighting for your life. That's why I place it here, above even C-Time, as it's a land where you could carve out a real life. It's just that it might be cut short during a shootout or crossing the wrong outlaw. For these reasons, I would score Thunder Junction with a six for comfort and a four for safety, because like I said, who's to say that you couldn't settle down and take care of a ranch? But that life might be met with toiling desert soil and potentially being buried under it when you make a bad deal with one of the Multiverse's many villains who stop through.
For all of these reasons, I would calculate that you make it a total of 145 days. For some time, you attempt to work as a ranch hand, but the money isn't great, and the sleeping conditions aren't much better. So one night at the saloon, you get roped into a job, just one small one, and you can retire. Why not? But that ends up being your undoing. You see, while the job does go off without a hitch, you unfortunately are taking a cut of the profits. So with you out of the way, the pie seems a lot bigger, and for that reason, you're shot down by the gang leader and left in the dust.
Dominaria is the heart of the Multiverse and home to its most stories. Beautiful by any measure and rich in diverse biomes, Dominaria is the closest you'll get to feeling like a whole world rather than the slice of one that a plane can often feel like. Now, don't go wandering off, though, as not all biomes and civilizations are created equal, at least for a simple traveler like you. For every beacon of civilization like Terisiare or Vuvula, there are dark corners where no one ought go, like Shiv or Kosa. It's also important to consider that Dominaria had to deal with many devastating events, such as warring brothers with godlike powers, cataclysms, two Phyrexian invasions, an ice age, and countless skirmishes and wars and disasters. It's not the kind of plane that can go very long without some fresh new catastrophe taking place. You could try your hand at getting into the Tarrian College to study magic, but this school isn't just letting everyone in. You might have more luck with the community version. To be honest, considering Dominaria's vast landscape and turbulent history, I would score the plane with a six. But as for safety, we will be sticking with a five, as you never know if you arrived on the plane in time for its next big disaster, invasion, or war.
Now, this does make my calculations difficult, as there are so many variations of how your stay could play out. Maybe you spend your days learning magic, only for one experiment to send you into a new timeline. Perhaps you end up becoming a Benalish knight, or you die early in the swamps of Urborg. With so much potential for both good and bad, I decided to place Dominaria somewhere near the middle of this list and give it an average estimate for days to live at 187. All I can say is, good luck on Dominaria, Magic's plane of endless stories.
Eldrin is a plane ripped straight from the pages of old fairy tales, for better or worse. This means a land where gingerbread houses come to life, fairies make mischief, witches toil over bubbling cauldrons, and valiant knights fight to protect the innocent. On Eldrin, there is always a tale to be told, and whether you're the hero or the victim of the story all depends on how you play your cards. In this world, but again, as some normal person from the plane of Earth, you might find yourself falling for a trick rather than a treat. In many ways, this world is the colorful version of Innistrad, where monsters lurk around every corner, even if they look like candy canes or sweet old ladies. Your best bet is to find a kingdom that suits you, whether that be Castle Ardenvale, Erith, Garen, Brig, Lockne, or Vanre. You want to ingratiate yourself among the humans of this world and start your life abiding by their customs.
As such, Eldrin is rated as a six for comfort and a five for safety, as while you may be able to find a home among the great kingdoms, one wrong path down the forest, one trusted trickster, or one wrong bridge will mean the end of your stay. My calculations put your days survived at 204, with your best odds being among the people of Ardenvale, a kingdom of light and cooperation. There you will become a baker, learning to make breads and treats. The town center is always bustling with people going about their days. You're just starting to feel at home, but one day, a delivery takes you to a cottage outside of town. As it turns out, a witch, posing as a simple old lady, wanted you specifically. You see, she was hungry, just not for bread.
New Capenna resembles a period in time within the history of our own Earth, just twisted in that magic sort of way. Run by gangs who carve out their own piece of this '30s-inspired Art Deco world, it brings with it both comfort and crime. It's a great plane to visit for its amazing parties, near-modern amenities, and fascinating culture, but it is equal parts danger as well, with racketeering, robbery, murder, and any manner of underground activity. It will take street smarts to last a moment on New Capenna, to even hope to survive. You best pledge your allegiance to one of the gangs, as it's the kind of city that will eat the unprotected and uninitiated alive. You'll get to pick from one of the five main groups: the Brokers, who sign contracts and provide muscle; the Riveters, who build and brawl; the Obscura, who deal in secrets and whispers; the Maestros, who handle art and murder for hire; or the Cabal, who deal in culture and coin. Whatever your choice, you will soon find yourself intertwined in the ever-shifting politics of this plane.
These factors all culminate in a comfort score of seven, as it's a world that can bring with it a good life, while the safety score of five proves that you'll have to navigate a lot of danger in the process. Calculating the results, we find that you would survive here for 259 days. You almost make it a year. Your reputation beginning to build as someone who is reliable. Sure, you have to get your hands dirty, but whose hands are clean on this plane? You even start to carve out your own little slice of heaven, a nice apartment in a good area. But it all comes to a head when a hitman is sent to end your life. As it turns out, one of the deals you had made fell through, and you're the one taking the fall for it. Too bad, because you were really starting to enjoy the nightlife on a plane that never sleeps.
Theros is a plane rich with faith, which props up its Pantheon of gods, each of which represents different aspects of both life and death. And much like the gods of Greek mythology, the inhabitants of this plane are often stuck in the middle of their whims and interpersonal squabbling. But if you can find a god to give your allegiance to and find your place within this world, you will come to see that Theros is rich in magnificent culture and spiritual centers, serene landscapes, and breathtaking monuments. It's a plane where you can get swept up in philosophical debates and festivals of debauchery. But all is not just sun and fun. Theros is also home to creatures that can swallow up fleets of ships and crush legions. Hell is also a very real place here, where if you die, be prepared to spend an eternity in torment. And remember those gods I spoke about? Theros has no room for atheism, as you best find a god and gain its favor, otherwise you're going to have a tough time making it here.
Considering all these factors, I rate Theros as a seven for comfort and a six for safety. You see, while the major cities are great places to call home, the threat of that home being wiped out, drawing the eye of a god, or simply getting swallowed whole by a beast of some magnitude is real and constant. The people of Theros are but minor actors in the games of greater entities, and it simply takes one wrong move to end up in Nyx. Going to the survival calculator, I can see that you would survive a total of 289 days. During your stay, one of the great temples takes you in, as they see you wandering the city aimlessly. You apprentice there, learning what you can of your new home and helping with ceremonies. You spend your days off along the beach, soaking in the sun. But one day, cataclysm strikes. The barriers holding the titans away break, and Kroxa smashes through your temple, consuming all in its path. You stand there, frozen in fear. Nothing has prepared you for such a sight, and with a swipe of its arm, Kroxa picks you up, consumes you, and moves on.
Ravnica is to the Multiverse as New York is to America: a melting pot of cultures, factions, and a constant sense of going on. Divided into 10 guilds, each of whom vie for their own influence under that of the Guildpact, are an endless source of push and pull on this plane. While each provides certain duties that keep this vibrant cityscape moving. Now, when I say cityscape, I mean it. The entire plane of Ravnica is consumed by city streets, giant buildings, and vast city centers. So if you prefer quiet country roads, then this world is not for you. While on the other hand, if you thrive in cities that never sleep, you may find comfort here. And just as New York seems to be the center of every major event in American movies, Ravnica is host to many of its own, from the Great War of the Spark to the Murders at Karlov Manor. Ravnica is a city plane where a day hardly goes by where something doesn't happen, and it will be up to you to navigate the politics of this world.
With all of that in mind, I would still rate Ravnica as a seven for comfort, as this is a plane that is structured and somehow familiar. But the danger lurks everywhere, so for safety, it barely cracks a six. You see, it's easy to find yourself arrested for minor infractions, from the Azorius, walk into a party you may never return from, with Rakdos, and end up in the rotting clutches of the Golgari, or be stuck with a debt paid after death by the hands of Orzhov. And that's not to mention the many specters, spiders, and spirits that lurk in its dark corners. By my calculations, you would last 374 days here on Ravnica. Not bad for someone new to the city. You managed to navigate your way through everything the city brings your way, and your life is starting to form here. You end up joining the Selesnya Guild because they're all too willing to take in anyone who wants to cooperate with their cause. It gives you a chance to make friends and be among nature within the endless city that is Ravnica. But against your best judgment, after a night out on the town, you decide to witness these legendary Rose parties you've heard so much about. But that uh would be your last mistake, as before you know it, you're on stage. You're strapped to a large wooden circle, which is then hoisted up. A grinning Rakdos clown grips a handful of knives and starts throwing them at you while the circle begins to spin. His aim seems perfect until one of those knives buries itself into your chest. The last thing you hear is wretched laughter.
Kamigawa is a plane of dichotomy, of sorts, a balancing act that is ever precarious. You might walk among tranquil Zen gardens, only to see a mech fly by, its armor reminiscent of that of the samurai. You may walk among the busy neon city streets, only to stop and look heavenward at the ancient tree beds. Ancient spirits are worshiped here like a thread still tying this world to its roots, while biker gangs with leather jackets shed tradition for movement. The contrasts are endless on Kamigawa, and the plane is better for it. But how does it rank as a world you could call home? Well, like I said, it may be the closest you might get to our world as far as modern comforts, so comfort really is one of its strong suits, sitting with a score of eight. But don't let me just hype up this world with endless praise. All those comforts mean nothing when demons, spirits, gangs, and conflict litter the city streets. You know that precarious balance I spoke of? Well, that is reflected in the constant push and pull from each of the factions of this world, who all have their own ideas for the future of Kamigawa. As such, I would rate it as a six for safety.
By my calculations, you would last 481 days on Kamigawa. With your limited grasp of Earth's technology, you feel drawn to the engineers of this plane, but it doesn't get you much higher than the rank of a mechanic's apprentice for one of the mechs of the Imperial Court. The job does pay well, though, and I mean, you get to tinker on a giant robot each day. You start to build a life, fall in love, perhaps this is home. But of course, as we have learned, the Multiverse is a dangerous place for the uninitiated. One night, while walking the undercity, you hear a childlike voice, and they seem to be in trouble. You follow it until you come to a bridge. You peer inside, it's dark, and there doesn't seem to be a little girl anywhere. But before you can react, a spirit pulls you in. The only cry now is that of yours being cut short.
Arcavos is a wild plane with a long history, but when most people think of this world, the great Strixhaven School is what comes to mind. The multiversal school of magic, where those with the ability to traverse the Multiverse, which is everyone with access to an omen path these days, take their use to be trained in varying arcane arts. There are five schools of magic here, each founded by five different elder dragons, as varied ways to interact with mana and the arcane, from those that use it to communicate with spirits in ancient ruins, to those who have found mathematical connections within magic. If you're intent on traveling the blind eternities was to learn magic, then this is where you'd want to go. Now, I wouldn't recommend traveling outside of the school grounds unless you have an escort, as Arcavos, as a plane, is still rather wild, with some dark mysteries that have yet to be uncovered, where wild, untamed magic warps the landscape in odd ways, and structures of arch stones float in odd patterns. But if you play your cards right, then Strixhaven is a great place to call home, well, that is until your final term is up.
With these factors all in play, I would rate Arcavos, and specifically Strixhaven, within an eight score for comfort and a score of seven for safety. Like every magic school, messing around with with the arcane can have some unintended consequences that could potentially cut your stay short. Calculating your life expectancy here, I would say that you make it four and a half years. Your learning is tough at first, with no prior experience to magic, but over time, something starts to click, and you can tap into a world of magic you never thought possible. This then breeds greater curiosity. You're hungry to learn more, but the bounds of the school walls are far too limiting. So one night, you and a friend head out, wanting to study some ancient ruins deep within. You find an old artifact. Your friend is starting to get nervous now, but you only get more curious. You place your hand on it, a glow rushing from it. You hear a voice whisper in an ancient language in your ear, and in an instant, everything goes white.
On Kaladesh, technology and magic seem to blur the lines, with the mana coursing through the plane powering great machines of industry. In the past, this plane has dealt with much civil unrest, but after the aid of the Gatewatch, things have settled down now, making it a better place than ever to travel to. With an aesthetic that seems to bridge the gap between Indian and solar punk architecture, the cities are bright and beautiful, while the landscape is rich and gorgeous, because of the relationship technology here has with the natural elements of Kaladesh. Of course, this plane has its own dangers, all of them do, but this is the point in the list where a real home can be made and a real life can be carved out. That's why I would rate Kaladesh as a nine for comfort and an eight for safety. Truthfully, you could make this place your home, as long as no other revolutions take place. That's why I can't really calculate a time to live here, but in the interest of keeping things consistent, let's put it to the calculator. Checking the results, I see that you make it a total of 10 years on Kaladesh. You make a home among the people, you learn a trade that makes you useful, you fall in love, you start a family. Things are going great. One day, while working on one of its great works, a circuit shorts, and the machine explodes, vaporizing you instantly. A funeral is then held for you, and your family mourns the passing of a traveler they now called family.
When you arrive in Bloom Barrow, you come to find that there are no humans to be found here, not even humanoid races like elves. Rather, it's a plane populated only by animals. As it turns out, anyone who arrives here is turned into an animal, and the animal you become seems to reflect your personality in some way. As we saw with Jace and Tamamo, Bloom Barrow is also unique in that while each animal represents its own faction and section of colors, there seems to be a real sense of cooperation here. This isn't a world with competing guilds or warring gangs, but rather groups of animals who each have their own specialty, which is then added to the whole. With the only real antagonistic force being the Calamity Beasts, who bring with them violent change. This places Bloom Barrow in a special position because the danger isn't really internal, but rather an external force that can be monitored and worked around. Meaning, for a traveler like you, this is the best plane to arrive and find a home within Three Tree City. Just don't travel past the Outer Woods. Perhaps you spend your days as a rabbit, farming and baking, or you swim with the daughters, playing ring ball with friends. Whatever the case, I would place Bloom Barrow as the ideal spot for a traveler from Earth to call home. That's why I place it as a nine for comfort and a nine for safety. Sure, we can't really hit a perfect score in the Multiverse, but this is as close as it gets. I also believe that, barring a catastrophe, you can live here indefinitely, so long as you follow the traditions that have held Valley in a state of relative peace for so long.
Thanks for watching all the way to the end. I know this was a bit of a longer video, and believe me, it took a lot of effort to put together, so I would really appreciate it if you left a like and commented what plane you would want to stay in despite the dangers, because sometimes the risk is worth the reward. And with that, friends, I will catch you in the Multiverse. Bye. Hey.