Transcription
My goal with this show is to translate my hard-earned experience into tools and tactics to help you become stronger as a man. This is the Brave Co podcast. I'm your host, Jason Valen.
Hey Brave Co men, I want to take a second real quick and tell you about our Brave Co conference coming up June 12th through the 14th here in Reading, California. This year's theme is "Rise Up Men." We are going to rise up in our families, in our businesses, in our relationships, and our relationship with God. That is what God's doing in our life.
If you have not been to one of our conferences before, I would encourage you highly to seriously consider stopping what you're doing, investing in yourself, and coming out to our conference. We don't do it the normal way that conference is done. A lot of guys are like, "Man, I don't want to sit and listen to a boring conference." You're not going to. Our conferences are super dynamic. In fact, we put each man into a group of 50 men. You have a leader, you have co-leaders, uh, that you're running with. You have team colors, team competitions, team pride going on. There's things to win and people to compete against as well. A lot of the ministry is also done inside of your, uh, team, which is really cool because you get tons of personal ministry. You also get to minister with other men.
The other piece that's really cool about the conference is we are doing a Rite of Passage for men 12 to 18 years old. Listen, this is so important because if you're a father, you don't want to be the only man pouring into your son. You have this opportunity to introduce your son into manhood with a ton of other men speaking into him, pouring into him, cheering him on. We have a 2 and a half mile Tough Mudder course that your son will go through. That is incredible. It's full of obstacles. He's going to love it, and he can come through the, uh, to the conference with you this year. And then, um, we have all kinds of other activations, incredible speakers.
The other thing that I'm really excited about this year is every man is going to get a battle plan for his life. What is that? Well, that is a plan that you're building during the conference for the five main areas in your life: your finances, your, your relationships, your relationship with God, your physical health, and, and your personal self. So you're looking at the different areas of your life and you're going, "I want to ensure that when I leave the conference, I have a starting plan for my life." Our conferences are not mountaintop experiences. It is a catalyst into building a stronger, more powerful, more competent life. You will also have the ability to jump into discipleship at the end of the conference. Again, we're not just throwing on good conferences for guys to feel good. We're actually helping men build stronger lives. So if you want to jump into discipleship and run with the men in your group afterwards, you'll have the opportunity, uh, to do that, especially if the other guys want to jump in too.
So I want to invite you again. That's June 12th through the 14th. I hope to see you there. Brave Co men.
Welcome back to the Brave Co podcast. This week, I'm pumped for my friend. He's not even a guest, he's a friend, he's a brother. And Steve and I have been running together for, I don't know, four or five years now. And, um, I, I really want to introduce Steve to you guys. You guys have, have met him before if you've been following me for a long time or if you've been running in the men's movement, um, for a while. Steve's an incredible man. He's a champion. He's an NFL Super Bowl champion. But more than that, right? Because there's lots of Super Bowl champions running around the world. Steve's one of the best men that I know. He's one of the best men at raising men, at raising champions. But also, I've watched this man rebuild his marriage. I've watched him rebuild his relationship with his kids. I've watched him rebuild his relationship with his community. And now I'm watching him rebuild men in a powerful way. And so, um, this week, we're, you know, that we're in the middle of our "Makings of a Man" podcast in all the, all the different attributes that make up a man. And when I was thinking through who do I want to speak on honor, I couldn't think of a guy that I wanted to talk about honor more than with Steve. Uh, I know it's one of his top core values, and I've watched him live this out day after day after day. And, um, Steve lives in a world that, that honor gets tested a lot. He lives in a world that where, um, it's, it's popular to be dishonorable. Uh, and, and he walks the line incredibly well. He's actually holding the line. So, um, Steve, thank you so much, man, for jumping in and for being on the podcast today. I, I couldn't be more excited.
Yeah, thank you, man. I love you. Thank you for feeling that way about me. Uh, especially knowing how many men you know, like high-caliber men that you know. So for you to say, man, one of the best men that I know, that, that means a lot to me, man. And I really mean that. And I, you know, that that comes from from a deep place because I'm not a man that uses words that I don't mean. And so I understand that we're in the middle of the series called "Makings of a Man," uh, an eight-part series, right? You chose eight things. And one of them, yeah, is is honor. And, and I feel so honored that that you chose me, uh, to speak on this because I would tell you guys this, uh, for 36 years, I, I wasn't an honorable man, right? And what do I mean by that? Well, first, let me define what honor means to me, uh, because I would say that is my number one personal core value. And honor to me means making your life about God and other people. And you'll catch a lot of different, you know, definitions. But for me, like, what meaning do I give to the word honor, right? Because that's a word that that guides me. But God has given each and every one of us the ability to give meaning to meaning. And so the meaning that I give to honor is is making my life about God and other people.
Um, and I recently, Jason, I saw this, I saw this painting, this canvas, that really intrigued me. And I would, I mean, look at me, I'm not the type of guy that typically you would see at like an art gallery, right? But my wife's into that stuff. Um, and so I choose to be into the stuff that she's into. And I saw this painting by a rabbi from the 1800s, and it's called "The Allegory of Long Spoons." And I'll save you from Googling it. I'll just kind of give you a picture of what it looks like. There's a picture of heaven and then there's a picture of hell. And both of those scenarios, the circumstances are the same. There's about 12 people sitting at the table in both circumstances, and there's a, a Thanksgiving feast on both tables. But everybody that's sitting at the table has an extremely long spoon, right? And if you look at the circumstances of heaven, everybody's really fat and happy and joyful, and it's a bright canvas. And then if you look at a picture of hell, everybody's depressed, and they're anxious, and they're irritable, and they're skinny and they're emaciated. And you ask yourself, "Where, if the circumstances are the same, Steve, well, why are the people in such worse shape in hell?" And it's because they are taking their long spoon, taking the food, and trying to feed themselves. And they're, they're only getting like crumbs or like a, a little bit of the soup into their mouth because they're taking their time, their talents, and their treasures, and they're using them to serve themselves. And so if you look at heaven, people are taking their time, their talents, and their treasures, aka the long spoon, and they're using it to serve the people across the table from them. And so everybody's getting to taste and eat everything at the table. But it's dependent on the other people that are sitting at the table.
And I had a realization that when I saw this analogy, it was such a clear picture of my life before Christ and my life after Christ. I called it the "BC Steve," right? The "Before Christ." And that was the version that maybe some, some of the people listening to this or watching this, Jason, like, maybe that's who they know. Like the guy that they saw on Sunday, the guy that they saw on the cover of Muscle and Fitness, some of these different things that, honestly, I chose as missions for my life because I thought that they would fulfill me. I thought that they would give me an identity that helped me, would help me to get away from or get out of feeling like a fraud, feeling like a phony, feeling the feelings of being like dirty and broken because I was, uh, sexually assaulted by a man when I was 12 years old. And so I thought these different things would, would change it. And so I achieved a lot of the things as a kid. I thought to myself, "If I achieve these things, I'll be enough." And then I realized to myself, the night I won a Super Bowl, like, "I don't feel any different." And I realized all the different missions and goals that, that I set out for myself to achieve, all of that was predicated off of me feeling like I was enough. And I realized that I was using my time, my talents, and my treasures to build my own kingdom.
And so when I flipped that on its head and I said, "You know what? Moving forward, I'm not going to be that man anymore. I've released it and I've given it to Jesus." And I really do believe that he has forgiven me of my sins. But who do I want to be moving forward now? Now I know that God is real. Now I know that he's good, and he operates outside of time. What is my identity moving forward? And so I decided I'm going to live my life based upon three core values: honor, integrity, and accountability. And so specifically, what do those three mean to me? Well, honor means making my life about God and other people. So I knew from that moment moving forward, when I walk into a room, it's not to say, "Hey, here I am." It's to walk into a room to say, "Hey, there you are." Right? To, to, to take what I have to help other people's dreams come true. Right? And then the second one was integrity because previous to that point, Jason, I would change who I was, how I would speak, and what my morals and standards really were, dependent on what room I was in, right? Because I was so desperate to be someone that I, I didn't know who I was at all. And so I decided to, to be the same person. And what does integrity mean to me? It means being the same person no matter where you're at, no matter what time it is, right? And one of the reasons I, I don't think I was ever able to do one of the things, it's one of the hardest things for men is to be proud of myself is because I would change who I was depending on where I was at. So honor and integrity. And the last one was accountability, right? I knew that moving forward from that point, I wanted to make all of the decisions that I make, and all the words that I say, and all the places that I go, I wanted them to be accountable to God. And I know that you and I are going to stand before God one day, and I know that we're going to be responsible for our time, our talents, and our treasures. I'm not at the point anymore, Jason, where I'm like, "Trying to get into heaven." Right? Like, I truly believe that my salvation is secured. My name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Now, what does the rest of my life look like? Now, the rest of my life looks like being accountable for the time that God has given me, like that I don't deserve, right? For the talents that he's put in me, right? Dude, I am a talented mother trucker, right? What are you doing with it? Right? And also, like the treasures that he's given me, the relationships, like you, like he puts men in life, like you, that make me better, right? That build me up, that encourage me, right? Because man, I tell you what, I need men in my life like you, that I know love and trust to say, "Man, I tell you what, like, out of all the men that I know, like, bro, like you are a real man, not because of the size of your arm, but because of the integrity and honor that you carry." I need more of that in my life, right? I don't need more Instagram friends, just like you don't need more famous friends, right? You need more men that are going to be there for you, right? True. You need more men that are going to be their word. You need more men that are going to make it less about their kingdom and more about His kingdom.
And so, kind of like circling this all back to honor, I believe that honor is the most important core value because you can nail it with patience, you can nail it with integrity, and you can be the same person in every room that you're, you're in, and you can be really patient while you're there, you can be really loving. But if all of those things are not pointing back to God, then I feel like you're missing your mark. I mean, think about it. If you, if you apply honor to anything, it's going to work the way that God designed it to work and get better. Let me test the theory. Why? If you honor your marriage, it's going to work the way that God designed it to work. If you honor your body, right, it's going to work the way that God designed it to work. If I honor our friendship, it's going to work the way, way that God designed it to work. And so I feel like from honor, I feel like honor unlocks everything. And the last, the last thing that I'll mention because I'm sure that you have a follow-up to this is I feel like that's, that's the first thing that I've, like, put it into muscle memory. Like when I get a chance to come on to a podcast, or I get a chance, somebody gives me a microphone to speak, the first thing that you do is you better honor someone because that mic was put in your hand for a specific reason. I don't want to spoil the, spoil it for you, uh, Jason, but when you give me a microphone at Brave Co conference, right, in Reading, California, which is a dream of mine, by the way, to, to just go to the church that you attend, but now I actually somebody's given me trust me enough to give me a microphone in a, in a sacred place like that, man, I got someone to honor. I, I'm gonna honor God, but I also, I'd like to honor my friendship that believes and trusts in me enough to give me the microphone when there's a lot of people to pick from. So I hope that kind of gives context to that's great. What is, what does honor mean to me and what does it look like played out in my life? It is so important that everything we do, we have done it unto God. And as a man, that is the guiding, that's the North Star, right? That's the thing that when you're in the sea and you, man, stuff is crashing and things are getting hard and you're not sure what side is up, you have to be able to go, "Okay, I may not know what to do, but I know that if what I'm doing isn't unto God, it's wrong." It doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter if, if the outcome is good. If I do, if I do accomplish something with the wrong heart, it is, it's wrong, right? If you do the right thing with the wrong heart, it's still wrong. And to me, like honor is just, honor is an interesting thing because honor is a mix of integrity. It's a mix of character. It's a mix of discipline. Honor is being who you say that you're going to be all the time. Honor is showing up when you said you were going to show up. Honor is being the same person in every room. And I understand that that's integrity, too. But that also encompasses honor. You can't, you, it doesn't matter if you honor somebody if you have nothing to give. If you, it only matters that I honor you because I'm an honorable man. And because I'm an honorable man, when I honor you, it means something. If you don't have value to give because you haven't, you haven't actually lived an integrous life, you haven't lived, uh, a life of character, you haven't walked that line, it doesn't really mean much when you go, "This is a man of integrity. This is a man of honor." It's like, "Well, I don't know that I trust you." And so honor is this interesting thing because it encompasses a whole bunch of pieces, a whole bunch of pieces. I want my kids to look at me and go, "My dad is a man of honor. He lives and dies for what he believes in. I can count on him to show up. I know who my dad's going to be. It doesn't matter the circumstance. My dad, I know who my dad has devoted his life to. I know what his mission is." And I think for a lot of men, you did not get the opportunity to see a man of honor operate in their life. It's very hard to, to even comprehend, okay, what does it look like to be a man of honor? Oh, looks like it. So it looks like you made a promise and you're going to fulfill that promise because it's your word unto death. It's, you've counted the cost. You've already counted the cost, and you're going to walk it out. I mean, that's what a man of, there's, it's so encompassing. It's like, you can count on me because I said what I was going to do, and I'm going to do it. And so to me, like, one of the things I think is most important for men is to have a, a hero to look up to. And you can change the word hero to mentor. To in a lot of ways, I think Jesus was a hero to the disciples. He came and he was doing things that disciples went, "There's a man of honor. He's not on his mission, he's on God's mission." Right? We watch him do all kinds of things that cost him so, so much to fulfill, withhold, to, to uphold who he is. And, and so I really do, I think that when we talk about honor today, it's almost this, uh, ethereal thing because so many men haven't actually had a chance to, to see it. But when you start living a life where you don't break your promises anymore, you start living a life where your word is your bond, you're careful with your words, aren't you at that point? But you gain this thing, right? To me, you gain this, this thing that is more valuable than money. It's more valuable than, uh, your home. It's more valuable than the car that you drive. It's your reputation. It's, it is, it's your identity. It's who, it's not just who God's called you to be, it's also who you've decided to be. And to me, like honor is wrapped up inside of there.
And Steve, how do you feel like we develop and work on this attribute in our lives? Like, what are some of the steps that you've gone through to, like, help build and strengthen this area of your life?
The question that I'm hearing you say is, "How have you grown in being an honorable man?" Yep. And when, when I'm hearing you say honorable, it, it made me think of, like, I don't know if the, the men listening to this are mistake makers like me. But I've ended up in a courtroom a time or two. And you know what you do? You sit in the courtroom, and you got some handcuffs on, right? Maybe you did a little drinking and driving, maybe you gotten some fist fights, right? And you needed to go sit before the, what, the honorable judge? Right? And what did they do? You're sitting there, your handcuffs, and your arms, your jumpsuit, and your little flip-flops that don't fit because you got size 13 and the biggest they had was 12, right? I'm speaking from experience. Let me make it vivid for you, too. And the clothes are real scratchy. And they say, "All rise." And the lawyer looks at you and he says, "Stand up." So you stand up. And they said, "Presiding, The Honorable," and then they'll say the judge's name. And what that means to me is like, this person is worthy of honor, right? And they don't just, like, let anyone be a judge, right? Not only do you have to do schooling, like there's a certain lifestyle that you have to live. Like there's certain mistakes that you couldn't have made in your path, right? You're worthy to be on. And you're voted into that position. And so to me, like, I'm hearing you say the question, like, "Well, how do we be more like that if we've made mistakes?" I've been a mistake maker, right? Well, the first thing is, is you got to have awareness to what you're not, right? And so what I'm hearing you say is, if, if any athlete wants to make an improvement, so I'm just going to speak to everybody like you're an athlete, right? Because as I read in scripture, being a Christian is really like two things. It's like being an athlete or being a soldier. Like an athlete trains and he performs. And, and, and a soldier fights and protests. And so I'm going to speak to you like an athlete because what you're going to need to do right now, if you want to, if you want to grow somewhere, first, you have to have awareness. Okay, I don't have that. Let me find someone who has that. Right? So what I'm hearing you say is, find a hero. And I'll give you the generic answer, it's Jesus. Right? And I'm like, "Start rolling your eyes." I get it. I get it. And I did the same thing too, right? Like when I wanted to be a better Christ follower, everybody's like, "Well, be a little more like Jesus. Get one of those bracelets that says 'What Would Jesus Do?' and it'll help you lead yourself better." That's cute, and that's great. But I need more. I need to see it acted out in 2022, right? And so what I would encourage people to do is find someone that is honorable, right? And so not only did I find a mentor, but I also, I made a vision board, right? And I, I picked people that I wanted to be more like. And then I asked myself, "What do these people have that that I don't?" And I boiled it down to honor, integrity, and accountability. But I also knew that those were the three things that actually was going to unlock me, right? Because men need to do two things: they need to give men something to respect, and you need to give God something to work with, right? And the number one core value that I can think of that God cares about is honor. And I can also think of a core value that all other men respect, and that's honor. So that was the first place that I realized that, like, I wasn't living an honorable life because my life was all about me.
Yeah, I'm going to share something with you, uh, Jason. And this is something that I developed after I had that radical encounter with God at that men's conference. And I call it my "Declaration of Independence." And this is what I used to train myself in, right? Because here's the deal, I needed to recondition my mind, right? I needed to change how my mind was thinking. And so this is the Declaration of Independence. So let me reintroduce myself. My name is Steve Weatherford. I'm a man of integrity, honor, and accountability. I'm a son, and I'm a warrior of the One Most High. And so that is the declarative statement that I, that I speak over myself. Not just like in the season of me needing to retrain myself. Before I got on to this podcast, I'm, I'm re-reminding myself, "Listen, you're a man of integrity, honor, and accountability. Don't you get on this podcast and make it about Steve Weatherford and the magazine covers and the money and these different things. You better go on here and you better speak about God. You better give them the greatest thing that you have, and that's your testimony." Steve Weatherford, right? And so that's something that actually, just like it re-always want to be like Jesus, but Jesus was always about his Father's work, right? And I always want to be about my Father's work. And so I don't know what it is for the people that are listening to this, like, what are those, what are those three to four character attributes that you need to unlock you, right? To unlock you that God could use you, but also unlock you in a way that men could respect you, right? And so, like, if you're listening to this, you're like, "Man, I think the, the things that Steve's talking about, those are what I need." Then I give you permission here, the copyright's off of it, right? You can grab this Declaration of Independence and make it your own, right? Let integrity lead every word that comes out of your mouth. Like, let honor lead every decision that you make. Right? Let accountability, like the reminder that you're going to stand before God with your time, talents, and treasures, like, let that reminder be something that guides you. And so following the Declaration of Independence, let me dive, like, a layer deeper because I think it's more important than, than more, more than just having an "I am" statement, right? Because the words that follow that will shape your reality. We've all heard that before, and it is very true, right? It's true in science, but it's also true biblically. I want to take y'all a layer deeper, right? So what I'm going to do is I'm going to go through my personal core values predicated from that "I am" statement. And I'm going to give you a meaning to every one of those four values. I'm going to give you a Bible verse that supports that core value. And then I'm going to give you a determinant discipline. Three things: a meaning, a Bible verse, and then a determinant discipline. And the reason that I'm going to do that is because I want you listening to this, I want you to do the same thing after this podcast is over. Because Jason told me, he said, "Steve, you got 19 minutes left." So what I'm going to do is I'm going to utilize these next few minutes that we have to give you the theory, right? And you're going to listen to this podcast, and maybe you listen to it twice, and then you take some quiet time, and I want you to figure out what are those core values for you. I want you to develop an "I am" statement. And then I want you to use ChatGPT to give you some great Bible verses that would support that core value that you want to lead your life. And then I want you to use the examples of the determinant disciplines that I have, aka, "Steve, I hear the core value, but how does it show up in your life?" I want you to use my examples to develop determinant disciplines in your life so it doesn't just become like an "I am" statement or Post-it notes around your house, which I want you to do as well, or something that you order off of Etsy. It's something that leads everything that you do. So before you know it, it's no longer something that you think about, it becomes who you are. But you have to train yourself in this. And so we go through, I'll say that statement for you again: "My name is Steve Weatherford. I'm a man of integrity, honor, and accountability. I'm a son, and I am a warrior of the One Most High." So you're very clearly hearing integrity, honor, and accountability. But then you're also hearing me say something about how I'm a son and I'm a warrior. Well, what those two things represent for me is like, I used to struggle with unworthiness because of things that happened in the past. And I don't have time to go into it, but I needed the reminder that I'm worthy. So in my "I am" statement, I, I put in there that I am a son. And that I also put in there that I'm a warrior. And the reason I put in there that I'm a warrior, that represents the core value of fearlessness. Because I have met the Holy Spirit, God's presence here on Earth. I really do believe that even now, my flesh will expire, I'm going to live forever. So that's my reminder that not only are you worthy, advance. You're not playing defense anymore. Advance. Right? It elicits something in my spirit.
So now what I want to do is I want to go through those five core values. I want to give meaning to each of them. I want to give a Bible verse to each of them. I want to give an example of the determinant discipline. And remember, I'm doing this so you have an example so you can take some quiet time to develop this on your own. This is much deeper than just honor, but I'm showing you how honor fits into the puzzle of how you recondition your mind and lead yourself for the audience of one who cares what anybody else says. I'll tell you this, if you put me on my deathbed and you say, "Here lies Steve Weatherford. He was a man of integrity, honor, and accountability." I can promise you, I'll say, "Put me in the dirt. Now I'm good." That's a successful life to me. A lot of people don't know how to answer, like, "How do you know you lived a successful life?" 60 years from now, when you're eulogizing my, my, my funeral, Jason, if you say, "Here lies Steve Weatherford. I knew him for 64 years. He was the number one man of integrity, honor, and accountability that I might have ever met in my whole life." Unbelievable. Not just your opinion, but it, but if that is the opinion, I have lived the greatest life that I could ever live, right? I mean, truly. But a lot of people can't define what's a successful life. But I just did it for myself.
Now, let me dive a little bit deeper. I already told you that honor to me, we'll start with honor. Number one core value to me. The meaning is making my life and everything in it about God and other people, right? Okay, Steve, well, what's the Bible verse that kind of gives us some biblical weight? Romans 12:10: "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." That verse to me, that unlocks it because that's like making it about other people, whether for God or that. Got it. God. Okay, Steve, I hear you saying that. What's the determinant discipline, AKA, like, how does honor show up in your life? Other places? One of the determinant disciplines that I had, every Tuesday at 5:30 AM, I invite about 35 to 40 random men from all walks of life. We've had gay men in there, just like Muslims. We led a Buddhist guy to Jesus last week. And my point is, I open up my family's home for two hours every Tuesday. Nobody pays nothing. Every Tuesday morning, and I give them coffee, and we share testimonies, and I teach them how to pray. And then I break them up into groups of three to four, and then they actually practice praying. That's one of the ways that I take some of the blessings of my life and I honor God and I honor other people. That's my determinant discipline for honor.
I'm going to move on and I'm going to speak quickly. My next, my next core value is integrity. What does integrity mean to you, Steve? You shared it earlier, but I'm going to reiterate it. It means living a life with nothing to hide. Essentially. What's the Bible verse that you have for that? Psalms 25:21: "May integrity and uprightness protect me because my hope, Lord, is in you." And what is your determinant discipline, Steve, that you have for integrity? Well, I'm glad that you asked. I give full access to my phone, social media, and internet history to three people to help me to maintain my integrity, right? Your, your wife feels pretty dang good about you. She knows everywhere that you go and everyone that you talk to, if she wants, right? And it's also something that, like, I'm not just playing for an audience of one. I've got some teammates here on Earth as well.
Number three, personal core values, accountability. What is that mean to you, Steve? Being responsible with my time, talents, and treasures. Uh, Bible verse, Steve? Romans 14:12: "So then each of us will give an account of ourselves to God." And I'm, and I measure trackable kingdom work. Hold on, I mixed those up. As I'm reading it, don't let me screw this Bible verse up. I'm going to go back. Romans 14: "So then each of us will give an account of ourselves to God." End quote. Steve, what is your determinant discipline? I measure trackable, quote unquote, kingdom work we accomplish every seven days as a ministry to make sure that we're constantly advancing. Every Monday, we have a team meeting with my four other team members, and through social media, emails, live speaking, podcasts, we have a number of people that have come to Jesus in the last seven days. How many people have been baptized? How many people have gotten a Bible? And how many people have gotten into mentorship, right? So there's trackable things that we do. And that's one of the ways every seven days that I keep myself accountable. Time, talents, and treasures, things that really matter.
Okay, Steve, we'll move on to the fourth one, worthiness. I already shared with you why I chose worthiness. What does worthiness mean to me? That I was bought with Jesus's blood, right? Reminding myself that Jesus would leave the 99 just for me, and he'd do it just for you as you hear my voice right now. And maybe you're struggling with, like, "Dang, like, this guy seems like really dialed in and like, really worthy." Buddy, I wish, I wish you would have met me six years ago. Like, you know, like in fitness, they do it before and after. You're getting to experience the after, right? You're getting to experience someone who is so clear on who they are that I've made commitments and standards for every area of life. And that's why I'm able to operate in life the way I do. In the NFL, the difference between amateurs and pros is amateurs make decisions based upon their feelings, AKA your feelings. And pros make decisions based upon their commitments, AKA their core values. I didn't have core values before. I just wanted to be successful. I couldn't define that for you six months ago. Okay, Steve, what's your Bible verse for worthiness? Ephesians 2:10: "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." That's my, that's my reminder that not only am I crafted in God's handiwork, he's got work for me to do. Get urgent. By the first, right? It elicits something in my spirit. What's your determinant discipline, Steve, that you have for worthiness? And not just for me, for my family. I read a positive affirmation card every morning. I declare it over myself, and I also declare it over my girls. And they declare it as well on our way to school. It's a, it's a discipline, right? Like it trains them who they are. And I train myself. I remind myself. Determinant, permanent discipline.
The next core value that I have is fearlessness. What does fearlessness mean to me? Having courage and joy in every situation, knowing that you can't die. Second Timothy 1:7: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and of a sound mind." What's your determinant discipline for fearlessness? I share my testimony in some way every single day. You know what I mean? Because it's the only thing, to me, that matters. The only currency, to me, that really matters is how many people have received Jesus. You know, because that's the only thing I'm really going to bring with me to heaven, right? And, and the men that have received Jesus, how many of them have been discipled so well and activated in the Holy Spirit? Not only are they faithful, but they're fruitful, right? Now you're talking dangerous. The enemy doesn't want that.
Okay, what's the last one? Generosity. Right? The, I added generosity in here because I want this to be something that guides me. So it's not in my "I am" statement, but this value. What is generosity? Giving to bless, not to receive. What's your Bible verse? Proverbs 11:25: "A generous person will prosper, but whoever refreshes others will be refreshed." What's a determinant discipline that you have, Weatherford? I send three video text messages daily to different men that are on my prayer list to encourage, honor, and empower them. My friend Jason Valen's nodding his head right now because you want to know why? Because he's been the recipient of a couple of those videos. Because I'm not just the guy that will read things off of his phone because it sounds good when I'm teaching or doing a podcast. I freaking live this, right? So I'm not speaking to you from a place of theory. I'm speaking to you from a place of continual transformation. And this stuff might have changed me four, five, three years ago, right? But it's changing me now because I continue to do it, right? And so Jason asked me the question, "I want to land a land a plan and give you an opportunity to, to ask ask any questions or or have a short conversation because I know that you have to roll." But he asked me the question, "How could we be get better at honor?" Well, I don't want you to just get better at honor. I want you to get better at the whole thing, right? But the whole thing is actually, it's pretty simple, right? It's simple to design. You can use ChatGPT for the Bible verses. It's like, don't disqualify yourself because Jason knows the Bible so much better than I do, right? But it's not about what you know. There's a, there's a quote by Bruce Lee. I've been very godly with you, so let me bring it back to Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee says this, and he was one of the guys that's on my business board that I want to be more like because he's so disciplined. And he said this: "Fear not the man that practices 10,000 kicks one time. He said, fear the man that practices one kick 10,000 times." And I like that. So it resonates with me because my job in the NFL was to kick a football. Like I had no other job. Like, "Weatherford, you got one job. Okay, let me master that job. Like, let me master the physical motion of kicking and punting. But let me master my mind because, guess what? Weatherford, you're going to need to do this in front of 124 million people in the Super Bowl. You're going to need to back Tom Brady up. You're going to need to be a difference maker." So I had to pre-decide who I was going to be before I stepped onto that field. So I did a really good job of of making commitments as a pro in football. But then when I retired and I wanted to go pro in life, I didn't know where to start. And thankfully, God brought mentorship and brothers and, and, and men in my life that gave me a picture of possibility. So if you ask me, "Steve, like, what are you about now?" You like, my, like, radio answer is about my Father's work, right? But like, like, what do you actually do? I help men to get really clear on six things. And I wrote them down because I want to make sure that I'm very specific with it. It's awesome. Mission, vision, values, roles, standards, and callings. Jason, I see you typing in your phone, so I'll say it for you again: Mission, vision, values, roles, standards, and calling. I just talked to you guys about, you know, like the vision that I have that I'll stand before God one day in judgment for my time, talents, and treasures. So I shared with you vision, right? And I just shared with you my values, right? Like who I am, my "I am" statement. And my mission is to live a life that's a picture of possibility for other men. That's my mission. And the roles that I have are to be a prophet, a priest, a king, and a warrior in the earth. And that is, those are your roles as well. And I've gotten really clear on what my standards are. You know, like, I lead a family that goes to church. Standards like, I'm going to date my wife 52 times every single year, and it's non-negotiable. Standards like, I got four daughters. Every daughter is going to get 12 dates every single year. But after I say these things to you, men, you're like, "Man, this guy's like next level. He's like so..." Six years ago, I wasn't. Six years ago, I was taking pills, watching porn. And I wasn't watching, like, regular porn. I was watching PornHub Premium. I was paying $4.99 to see buttholes in HD. I was beating the game, you know what I mean? Just keeping. Jason, I know I can keep it real with you. I don't know if our listeners or viewers can handle this, but I know the types of conversations you and I have. We keep it 100% real because at the end of the day, the only thing, and the only way to permanent change is Jesus Christ. And the reason that I can tell you that, man, is because so many of the things that I thought were going to fulfill me, millions of dollars, being a world champion, being a pro athlete, being on muscle magazines, everybody knowing who I am, getting married, having kids, I checked all of those boxes, right? And then I realized I was using my time, talents, and treasures to build my kingdom. And as soon as I flipped the script and went from amateur to pro by getting really clear on who I am, and honor being at the top of the at the top of the list, honoring God, then I said, "Well, how do I honor my body?" Well, stop putting those freaking drugs in it, first off, you know? And, and how do I honor my marriage, right? Like, how do I begin to honor my dad? And I, I tell you what, that was a major unlock for me because when I wanted to begin to honor my dad, I discovered that there was some unforgiveness there. That's a whole different conversation. Um, but Jason, I love you, man. Thanks for for letting me just go off for a little bit. Um, I hope that that's why I had you on here.
Yeah, thank you, man. I hope that this was of service to your tribe. And I'm really, really excited to be with you, uh, in Reading, really, really soon, man. I mean that. When I say this, this is like a dream come true for me, you know, for real, bro. It's going to be awesome. Listen, um, I, I want to say a couple things. The, we often look at life and make it way too complicated. And we think, man, where I'm at and where I need to be. Most guys just see where they're at and they don't know where they need to be, right? They need to be out of this hole. I need to be out of debt. I need to be out of this shame and out of this, uh, whatever, out of this hard place in life. But they're having a really hard time going, "How do I get there?" I mean, I was on a counseling call this morning with a young man, and he's trying to make some hard decisions. And it's like, "Okay, do those six things." Yeah. Sit down and do literally do what Steve just told you to do, right? You're going to, you're just going to go replay this, rewind it. And before you go, "Man, my life's too hard. I don't know where to go. I'm not sure." You know, "I'm not sure how I am." It's like, wait, before you go down that road, just stop, rewind us, and get to the place where he's.
Just one, one piece at a time, okay? What's, what is my "I" statement? Who, like, who does God say that I am? Maybe you don't know who you are. Who does God say that I am? Start there, okay? I'm a Son of God, whether you want it, whether you feel like it or not, today you are a son, Son of God, right? He created you. You didn't create you. You didn't decide you were going to be born. He created you, and you start from there.
And then you go, okay, who am I going to be? What is my standard in life? What, what do I want to be able to say when I am sitting on my deathbed? I'm going to be able to say, I'm a father who lives with a high standard. My kid, I'm going to be, uh, I'm going to be, um, uh, present for my kids. I'm going to be present for my wife. I'm going to be a bringer of strength and hope. Maybe you're not today. Maybe you're not a bringer of strength and hope today. That's okay. You have to be able to see it before you achieve it, right? I have to be able to go, okay, I can see where I'm going. And you break this stuff down really simple.
Now, will this change your life? It won't change your life if you don't put action to it. But if you don't ever sit down and do this, you won't change your life. You, but Steve, do you remember like, uh, 1997, '98, '99? If you wanted to go on a road trip, you had to print out the map, MapQuest, or you had, we talked about, I talked about this with my wife the other day. I'm like, remember MapQuest or Trip Advisor? You'd, or an atlas, bro. Remember having an atlas? If you wanted to go from here to, you know, uh, South Carolina, where my, where my wife is from, you had to have the whole thing mapped out. And you know what the truth is? Is like, listen, if you want to go from here to being a man of honor, you have to at least have some theory. You at least have to have the blueprint. That's what it's like. No one has ever built a house that they're proud of without the blueprints first. To go, this is where the bathroom's going to go. This is where the couch is going to go. This is where the living room looks like. And listen, you can make amendments to the blueprints once you step back and look at it and go, you know what? I think I have a better definition for character. I think I have a better core value here. I think I have a, but let's get the ball rolling, man. Let's quit saying this is too hard to do. This is never going to make it. I'm stuck in porn. Great. If you're stuck in porn, create some blueprints. Not even to get out of porn, create some blueprints of who the man you're becoming, what you want your value system to be. And listen, if you were watching porn five times a week and you go to four, we're going to celebrate that because you're on your way to three, and you're on your way to two, and you're on your way to one. But if you never celebrate the fact that you went to four, but you just shame yourself because you're still looking at it, you're never going to get to one and zero. We're being, we're guys are are making this way too hard. And to me, it's like, okay, listen, you just given a blueprint. Do something with it. Do something with it. That, do something with what? With what you've been given.
This is perfect because every single week, we give the guys an activation. Uh, and so you literally gave, I didn't tell Steve ahead of time that this would, this, you didn't tell me we were speaking about honor. I thought we were just going to sit down and do a podcast. Like, okay, so we've been doing this eight-part series. I'm like, I feel like I should be prepared. Dude, I knew I didn't have to prepare you. You, you, you already come prepared. So listen, I want you guys to take this to run with it and, and to circle back on it and, and dial this in. I do the same thing. So Steve and I do it a little bit, a little bit different, but it's all the same. Um, I had, so I have a, I'm going to pull it up for you guys. I have an ethos that I've developed, and it's an ethos that I live by. And the ethos, to me, it, it matters because I've sat down and went, this is who I am. These are my core values and values. This is the mission I'm on. And, and this is what you can count on me for. And so this is my ethos, and I want to read it because I think it'll help some guys.
"I was placed on this Earth by God to help restore people back into their God-given creation and to destroy the works of the enemy." Okay, right there, that's the statement. This is who I am. You know who I am. It's right there. "As a man, I will uphold the call of God on my life by choosing to bravely follow Him. My will, emotions, ambitions, and desires come secondary to His purpose. My pledge to God is to care for my family first and foremost. My wife is His daughter, and my children are His children. I will build a home of patience, love, sacrifice, and servanthood by first modeling it. My kids will know they're loved because I will tell them. My wife will believe she is adored because I will adore her. My family will know they're important because I will make them important. I will not back down, become lazy, or shy away from this responsibility, as it is my first responsibility. I will never quit. I will thrive in times of adversity and choose joy because God is with me. With God, nothing is impossible. Therefore, when others cower or retreat, I will stand steadfast, knowing that the battle belongs to the Lord. As a leader, I will lead by example. My core values and convictions will be lived out in my day-to-day tasks. My conscience and character will not take a timeout or a day off. I will treat all people like I want to be treated and be the hands of Jesus to those He puts in front of me. I'll empower those around me, giving them a shoulder to stand on and a safe place to confide in. I know that my time on this Earth is limited, therefore I will live my life and not waste time worrying. God is my cornerstone, the author and finisher of my faith. He's never left me, will never forsake me, and because of Him, I'm strong."
It doesn't have to look exactly like mine. It doesn't have to look exactly like Steve's. But you've got to be able to walk away and set in stone, "This is who I am. This is who I'm becoming. This is where I'm heading. This is what I can count on myself for." And if you never, uh, set it in stone because you think you're going to fail and you think you're, you're going to, you don't want to disappoint yourself, let me tell you something. You are going to fail. You are going to disappoint yourself. Steve hasn't been perfect for six years. I haven't lived perfect for 44 years. But this is a compass. This is a North Star. This is what my men in my life hold me accountable to. They don't hold me accountable to when I was tempted to look at porn. They hold me accountable to the high calling. Jay, you're a man of honor. So it's not even, uh, move forward. It's don't back down. It, it, it's push ahead. It's, it's achieve what God's put you on this Earth to achieve. And so it's there for every guy who wants to grab it, who's willing to go through the pain.
So we got to wrap this up. Steve, thank you, man, so much for coming on here. Um, I want to remind the men, we have our Brave Co conference, June 12th through the 14th. This is a small taste of what you're going to get. Steve is one of our keynote speakers there. And, um, guys, this isn't a conference where you're just going to come sit in the seats and listen, get bored, and hope that you didn't come. This is a conference where you're going to get activated. You're going to get impartation. You're going to run with other men. Other guys are counting on you. We have a rite of passage for young men, 12 to 18 years old. They're counting on you to pour into them. Not just the dads to pour into them, but for you to be a catalyst to one of these young men, to be the difference in their life. And so if you're at all thinking, man, I need a catalyst moment in my life that's going to help me grow, this is your moment. Every guy that's coming to our conference is working on a battle plan. So we've actually created a battle plan that looks at the five main areas of your life. So that as you start the conference, you're going to literally be going, okay, how's my marriage? How's my business? How's my relationships? How's my personal health? And you get to hone in and leave the conference with an actual plan. You're not coming to have fun. You're not coming to to hang out with some guys. Those are a byproduct. You're going to come and literally get a battle plan for your life. And the speakers aren't coming and speaking what they want to. They're coming and delivering each one a piece of that battle plan. And so we have a real focus for you. Our conferences aren't just fun gatherings. They're places where we help men get activated and actuated into who God's called them to be. So I want to again, uh, just, that's June 12th through the 14th. Guys, come, bring your sons, and let's kick some butt together. Steve, thank you, man. Love you, man. I appreciate you, bro.
The last, the last thing that I would say, as you said, man, if people are really stuck and they don't know where to go, what's step one? It's agree with God, right? Before you develop any of that other stuff, the number one thing that you need, need to do is agree with God. God's opinion of you, right? And that, that if you come with a repentant heart, and you ask Him to forgive you of of your sins, and you turn away from that, and you receive Jesus, that is step one. So Jason, I love you, man. I'm looking forward to seeing you soon. And anytime you, anytime you call me, brother, I'm gonna come help you, man. I love you and I believe in you. I love you too, man. Brave Co. Stay Brave this week. Hey, Brave Co. Hopefully you love this week's episode. Listen, if you have not subscribed to our podcast, you are already behind. Go ahead and click right here to subscribe to our podcast. And if you have not watched last week's episode, you can click right here and watch last week's episode. And listen, if you want to upgrade your wardrobe, you can check out some of our new hats that we have in stock and all our other swag. Go to BraveCo.org and you can look at our store there. Have a great week. We'll see you next week.