Saturday Morning Funtime - Quatermass and the Pit aka Five Million Years to Earth

Deep in an underground secret Pacific island island Lair, BP culture mfield presents Saturday morning fun time. This is the comic relief Crusader telling you to get your morning cereal ready, because here we go. Wow, what a great opening, thank you. Uh, we are here; it's Saturday. Um, it's a somber day, but despite that, we're going to try to get through it. Uh, this is, of course, um, uh, this is our good friend Keith's mother's birth—not birthday—her funeral today, and um, I will be going there after the show. But in the meantime, in the interim, we are going to uh talk about a little film that came out in the 60s.

And Quatermass is a character that was on the radio; he'd been on television and in film, uh, most famously played by Brian Donlevy, an American actor. Uh, over in England, he was in—it was a British British Productions with an American actor playing uh Dr. Quatermass. And Quatermass is the inspiration for Doctor Who. Lot of people don't know that, but Quatermass is what started it all, and it was Quatermass that led to the idea of doing a character like Doctor Who back in in 1964 or 63. In fact, the premiere of Doctor Who was the same day of the assassination of John F. Kennedy, and nobody watched it. And they pushed, controlled, and persuaded the BBC to air the premiere one more time the next weekend because nobody watched it. And lo and and behold, the show is a hit, but all again thanks to this character Quatermass. And Quatermass uh uh was in two movies in the 50s, uh, a TV series has had had many BBC Productions, uh, like many what do they call miniseries, as well as ongoing serials, uh, back in the day. But they've even done it like in the 2000s. I saw they did uh Quatermass in the Pit, which is what this movie is, as a miniseries for the BBC. It did not do too well critically; it was uh panned. I've never seen it; I've only seen the older film and older calls. But uh, this flick uh, it really did hit a note with me and scared the crap out of me because it dealt with um Ancient Ancient Aliens having been on Earth for hundreds of thousands, if not longer, years. And uh, um, that's cool, dude.

Uh, odd brag. Yeah, I've never seen Star Wars, not one. One. Um, okay, how you saw this movie? Two bucks will—we'll get your coffee at at Sambo's. But okay, okay. Um, and X is here. Hey Kyle, what's up? What's up, buddy? If you're not uh working, dude, you're free to join us. Zach, love to see you, buddy. Lord Tho, all hail Lord Tho. Um, but th—this film had a huge impact to me. I saw it when I was a kid; I was like five, first time I saw it. Okay, you were so young for so many of these movies. Well, I told you I wasn't like other kids. I—I watched movies that other kids—while they're watching just Captain Kangaroo and Sesame Street, I was watching uh, you know, Orson Welles movies, uh, classic dramas. And your dad couldn't leave you with a babysitter when he went to the movie, so he had—well, when he kidnapped me—no, it's true, when he kidnapped me—um, there was nobody he couldn't trust anybody to leave me with; him uh, and I just uh would go with him. And the common practice for Dad was to cover my ears or my eyes when I go to see a movie with him, and I loved it. When we were watching Serpico and there's a nude scene and they were cussing, and he—he couldn't figure out what to do; he's like messing up and trying to cover my ears and my eyes at the same time. It was hilarious. And I'm like, now we know why you're so well-adjusted, Gary. It's—I do believe it did make me the way I am, which is well-adjusted; nothing really phases me. I have uh similar upbringing; my—my parents let me watch certain movies and content, and they would just explain to me, and that's it. Yeah. Um, that would have been such a simple solution for your dad, though—just make little Gary wear a hat, and when there's a scene, you pull it down so he can see and cover his ears. There, that would have—that would have required some pre-thought. Look, my dad was a genius; he really was, on paper he was a genius, but he did a lot of stupid [ __ ]. I can't relate to that. So um, I—I need to check something real quick here, uh, Mexican Iron Man, because um, a lot of people aren't really understanding what he did over the last couple weeks because Doomcock in—in uh Cameron are talking about one thing; what he did with Valiant Renegade is he went on paper and showed how much Disney has—he's an accountant, you know—and he sat down and showed everybody all Disney has right now; liquid assets is $200 million. To—you can't even make a movie on that right now; Disney's in trouble. And so I was doing a post about that to remind people that it was uh, you know, Mexican Iron Man that—that discovered that—discovered that. And uh, for some reason, I can't tag him anymore. He follows him, and when I do the at symbol and put Mexican or Iron Man, nothing. So I go, my—is deactivated. That—can—I don't know if you can do that. I can't tag him even on his name. Well, well, I tried to do it, and I—I have no problem—problem, by the way. I'm the one that brought to everyone's attention about the accountant from—accountant from before—the—the one worth the two billion dollars that you know who basically ended up suing Disney. Yeah, yeah. I—I brought that up; I'm the one who brought it up to Cameron, more importantly. People keep forgetting it was two billion for two years in a row, so it's like there's a four billion hole, supposedly, according to this woman. Yeah, I—I don't have any doubts on that. Um, so but anyway, um, I also got a message from Brian; it sounds very cryptic. We need to talk, mate. And I'm like, oh, that means he's probably gonna have to leave Thursday show. It sounds like, so—but timing might be right because Keith's—you know, because of his mom passing, uh, he really needs this channel; he needs to—it's—it's an outlet for him doing this—this stuff. And he has been stifled dealing with family stuff for so long that he just pops on twice yesterday. Do you see—you see that because he—he needs an outlet. And uh, and I talked to him last night, you know, because we spent that—we—we spent all afternoon and evening together yesterday; he came by. John came by too, by the way. Do—Wolfin uh, and we all hung out all afternoon and evening; they were here till uh after 11 o'clock. Man, I wish I hadn't fallen asleep; could have joined via StreamYard. Yeah, well, it was guys doing guys stuff; we were just talking guys stuff; you wouldn't have enjoyed that at all. Um, and um uh, it was all funny games until Don came—came home; we got quiet. But no, it's—and I told Keith, I said, look, man, you know, you need the show. And he says, I do; I need—I need to do this; it helps him; it's very fulfilling for him to do these shows with me, and it's been killing him being away. So um, if—if Brian has to step away, and I understand it, man, it's difficult to do these shows, um, you know, I'll just ask Keith if he wants to slip back in; otherwise, we're not going to have any shows on Thursday, so I'm not doing it. I can't—Keith will do it, Gary. Keith—I don't know; I mean, it's all up to Keith; it's up to Keith. I'm hoping so. Um, but that's if Brian really is leaving; I could be misreading the situation; who knows. Uh, I just tend to—when somebody says something a specific way to me, I can usually tell that—that's not going to be good news. Oh, that's—I could do the show; we just turn it into a—into a—a contest show; I do the show, and the people write in the comments what they think I said. Well, there you go. I was thinking that would be fun to do, and you actually went there, and I'm like, oh, that's a good idea. See, I like that. Hi Richard. Hey, Richard's here; what's up? Um, I'm looking—I am not seeing him in my—hey Benny—latest notifications. Uh, did he like—oh, SX, you lazy bastard; he—first—us to go in the pool—to—coming on the panel [ __ ] you Kyle [ __ ] you Kyle—play the video [ __ ] you Kyle; I'm on it. Oh my God, by the way, I saw that movie last night, and nobody ever forget that Kyle's son uh is the one that—that uh hacked our chat. Well, Jesus, yes; here we go. I remember that. Yeah, you had to—you had to um put—one time out. Hey [ __ ] you guys [ __ ] you—an C, that was so funny when his—his son got a hold of the mobile phone and [ __ ] everything up on chat; started spamming. You know, we have a love message for you too, Shanu, too Shanu. Right, of course. Well, Kyle gets his video, and you get your own um uh banner. I cannot find anything from Mexican Iron Man to even go grab his—that's weird. I—this is really strange; he's always in my [ __ ] uh notifications. Did he turn off his account? Who—Mexican Iron Man? No, I—I don't know why you and SX are having problems because I—I—I can find him; I can search for him; I can tag him. That—oh my God, I have to—I have to go to [ __ ] his—his [ __ ] page to get his tag. Go—how much Disney has to spend. There we go. Jesus Christ, all of that for—for uh just one little tiny post. So—so if I stop talking, nobody talks. Okay, no, I'm checking if I can find him. Dead [ __ ] silence. Are you kidding me? Just said Comics and Toys is here too. Look at that, dude. I didn't even want to be here, but you started crying when I said I wasn't going to be on the panel, so I stayed. Don't—don't exaggerate; I've told you a billion six times to stop exaggerating. I'm a woman; I have to—that was an exaggeration, Gary. I know that's a joke; that's the joke. I got that from Steve Martin; another Steve Martin joke I loved; he—he's—he—like—I've told you a billion six times, stop exaggerating. Oh man, let's get this uh video up on screen. This is uh a classic Hammer film. Um, I didn't bother with the um subtitles; it's just uh, this is really, in my opinion, more of a visual story despite all this sci-fi. Go—by the way, this isn't a real London street; this was on a—a British movie set. Uh, by the way, G, do you want to explain what a Hammer film is for those that don't know? Oh my God, are you kidding me? Hammer is—they were the Revival studio for classic Universal horror. Uh, Universal allowed them to make the Universal monsters again, starting with uh Oliver Reed as The Wolf Man, uh, and then they uh made Dracula; they made uh The Mummy; they made Frankenstein; a lot of Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. And uh, this is classic film, and what's really great about these classic films is um, over in Britain, if it had too much uh boobs and and gore, it got an X rating—what we would be an R here—and uh, which was like apparently a Badge of Courage in Britain; Hammer was proud of it constantly getting X ratings for its movies. And um, in this one, as I recall, I don't think it got an X-rating um because there's no nudity or graphic language; everything is psychological in it, dealing with these creatures uh, what's happening to people. And Hobs End doesn't exist; there is no Hobs End, but Hob is another name for the devil. And they discovered uh, just a—a point here in the—in the mouth of Madness—that's the name of the town—Hobs in—Hobs in—well, we—you know uh Shinski brought it up that uh there was another film uh that was by John Carpenter that was felt clearly inspired by this film; it's Prince of Darkness; it was part of uh Carpenter's uh uh apocalyptic Trilogy. And uh, but then you bring up the other film, Hobs End, and Hobs End is clearly another nod to this [ __ ] movie. So it's not just guys like us that like this movie; John Carpenter clearly was inspired by classic Hammer movies. And the—here's one of your classic English actors right there; he was almost everything until he died; that guy was in so much British Productions; it was—it was ridiculous. But the actor I—is not very well known who plays Quatermass in this uh; he was more of a bit actor, but he gets a really lead role in this, and he nails it, and he really does look like Sean Connery's uh Henry Senior from uh Indiana Jones in—in the Last Crusade; same hat, same hairline. Well, that whole generation, right, they were influenced by Hammer. I mean, you even got references to Hammer and Lord of the Rings. Yep, yeah. And um, Hammer really was uh the Savior for Universal at the time because they were losing money hand over fist; they could figure out how to make money off of their Universal monsters, who they put so much money into. And by leasing it out to Hammer and then getting the right to release it in the United States for Hammer, Mike—ton of money. Jump in, man. Hey Mikey. Yeah, invite him in now. One thing I do appreciate with this movie is they take their time. Yes, it—it goes—the two First Act go very slowly, and then all hell gets loose. Well, what's going on is they're digging a new tunnel for the underground—the British underground—and in the process they discover uh an ancient man—apan caveman—but they find more than that eventually. While they're digging here, they discover a larger object, and immediately—because a lot of people know this—that there's problems this day with unexploded bombs in—in England; they'll still occasionally be found. By the way, you can tell that's a set; look at that; doesn't even look like a real street. They thought it was a German bomb, right? Yeah, they thought it was a German unexploded bomb, and so they bring in bomb disposal, and they're here; they're like, Mike, this thing's too big for a—for a bomb, you know. And uh, then they discover it's not magnetic; it's metal, but not magnet—magnetic. So—because they try to put—put a stethoscope to it—that's magnetic, and it just slides off, and it doesn't corrode, and it doesn't corrode; that's the other creepy thing about it. And so really, they—this story follows the logic of what would really happen if something like this was discovered in the underground like that; they would automatically assume it's—it's unexploded ordnance. Well, maybe it's a craft then, you know, a plane or something experimental; we don't know. And—and that's the process that's going on here. The problem is uh General Veers. Yes, General uh is one of the bad—the major—he's not the bad guy, but he's a heavy in the movie; he's an antagonist. And General Veers, of course, is from Empire Strikes Back, and—and was Donovan; he was Donovan in the Last Crusade. That's right; same actor; his name is Julian Glover, and Julian Glover is a great actor, and he plays a military officer at odds with the scientists, and he's treating it as this one thing, and they're trying to tell him this is not what you think it is, and this could be bad. He—he also reminds me of the Major in—in the old Doctor Who uh series; he actually looks a lot like that guy. He does. But was Julian Glover in Doctor Who at any point? I would not be surprised because he was around at that time. I mean, they had pretty much every British actor been on Doctor Who, or at least every major one, as far as I know. I'm going to look it up real quick, but I'm just—it's just like his particular demeanor and his whole thing of like, you know, I'm going—he's still alive, by the way. Reminds me a lot of the Major. Oh, there he is; that's Dr.—that's Quatermass right there. I like his performance as Quatermass; I like him much better than Brian Donlevy's. Um, how old is the guy, Jul—Julian? He is uh; he was born in '35, uh, so he's—he's uh close to 80. You have General Veers uh standing besides a guy that enunciates just like Peter—Peter Cushing. There he is. There's Julian Glover; we've—he's been an actor for over 50 years; 50 years, man, and he's still going. He was on um House uh—was it House of the Dragon or Game of Thrones? He's on one of them; I think it was Game of Thrones. I think it was Game of Thrones. Yeah, but I'm going back to see if he's on Doctor Who. You see Dr. Jones? He was—he was in eight episodes of Doctor Who—Season 2, Episode 22 of the Lion, 1965, uh, Episode 23 and 24 and 25. That was it; he was in five episodes uh from Season two, where—and that's with the original Doctor. Where's Tunis? Was he a count? I don't know. That is a beautiful car. I don't remember watching those episodes, so I don't know if he was a good guy or bad guy. I love cars from that period; yeah, they look so good. My dad collects cars, and he likes Altimers too. Glover really looks good in a uniform; that's why he always plays officers. Well, it's not difficult to look good in the—good in the uniform. Now, question: does—does clay underground actually look like that? Because I'm not entirely sure. It depends. My question is, would a skeleton look like that after being in clay for so long? Of course not. No, no. I had so many issues with this movie; I did not like it. Well, it was more of a budget constraint than anything else. Yeah, very—shot—shot on a very sho—string budget. Uh, so he was also in four episodes with Tom Baker in Season 17. Nice. He played Count Scaron in the City of Death Series. So there you go, man; Julian Glover's been in a lot of good stuff, man, and every—you know, being a British production, this has that feel of a British production to even the British people because there was nothing more familiar than the underground because everybody took the Subway or they call it the underground. Monkey J was—is comparing pears to apples; Brenfield is a—it's a silly fun comedy; this is—this is trying to be very serious and very realistic for what it is. Yeah, very—it's a completely different thing, and uh, and you know, the things that she calls it out on, and yeah, it's true; I'm not going to deny it; it's true. It's like if you were to find those things in there uh, they would have—it wouldn't be in mud; it would have been in clay, and then—and it probably would have been very deteriorated; it still would have had flesh or fleshy stuff. Oh, it would—it would be mummified because they find—now, if it was completely airtight uh, it would have been mummified; it had to have zero oxygen. But if it's—if it's wet with clay, there's a chance it wouldn't be mummified; it would still decompose. Well, basically, it's one of the movies where you check your brain on the door; it is. And I—I told you that I'm glad you remember that, check—when it comes to science, because they really do try to pay attention to some science in this uh because it is science fiction, and they're onto something. This is the interesting thing here; you start seeing all these claw marks in a house right across the street, and you begin to hear these stories about Hobs End that there would be the—these visions people would see—would see things. Yeah, there were one or two things that the—that the—never—they started an idea but never have a payoff—not an—not an explanation. Yeah, they never go—yeah, I think that's important in good science fiction and horror; you don't have to explain everything. And in this one, they—they discover all these claw marks that people were going insane around the neighborhood—neighborhood. And this is one spot where people were go—so crazy they were clawing at the walls because of apparent apparition. Course, World War I—there—see that Kilroy was here? See it on the wall? Yeah. Makes me feel like I'm watching Kelly's Heroes all over again—all over again. I can't recall; I think there may have even been one of those in Band of Brothers because it was American GIs that were doing that. And there's a clear confr—yeah, look at him; totally uh—

Henry Jones? Dr. Henry Jones. And I don't think that's accidental. No, not it's not. The even the suits are in the same style. Tweed, yeah, with the vestment, you know, with the um, what do they call? Waistcoat. And day was that just a fashion back then? What's then? What's wasn't that just the fashion back then? Not really. Usually, um, your educated types dress that way. They thought it was cool, which, to me, it wasn't. Okay. And the skull right here is actually correct. I thought that was interesting. But one of the coolest things in this, it was also in the miniseries from uh, the 1950s, uh, when they did the the the film as a miniseries, the alien creatures. And I like the creatures that sculpted for this, but once again, they're on a budget, so they weren't articulated. They're usually solid molds, but still, they look cool. Um, and there to the right is the sculpture they did of what the the uh, early man looked like there in Hobbs Lane or Hobs End series. Very apik that creature. I mean, not him, yeah. And that that gets explain a little further in the film. And of course, the actor playing him is a uh, B uh, Andrew Kier. And I don't really remember him from anything else. Do you remember him from anything? No. He was in a lot of okay, he was in the two Doctor Who movies uh, with uh, Peter Cushing. He was in several other Hammer films that I don't remember him in. Blood of the Mummy's Hand, uh, Dracula Prince of Darkness, which was one of my favorite Christopher Lee Dracula films. I don't know what he played in that. Uh, I wouldn't be surprised if he was Van Helsing, because there were a few Van Helsings that weren't played by Peter that I I guess there was no Van Helsing in in Prince of Darkness. I there was man, he looks like Connery with the yeah, right. That's what I say when I saw him for the first time. That could be Connery if I didn't know it better. I think it's funny how in this scene he like he's dismissing her the entire time and she just keeps on reading. It's like, "Are you sure this isn't relevant?" There was this thing, and there was that. And I really do like the ship that they had in this. It's this it's really dude that [ __ ] doesn't look like a a missile. That that part with well, there was a lot of experimental uh, German stuff. And so they're think, you know, clearly they're thinking this must have been something experimental that that they were working on. Yeah, a a non-magnetic metal that is impervious to everything. You apply fire for 5 minutes and it's and it's still cold. But it doesn't only burn right here. This is where they're hea it up and it's still cold to the touch. Yeah, they burn the [ __ ] out of it and it does nothing. Actually, a lot of the stuff with the ship actually kind of reminds me of the Thing, like what happened with the Swedes. Yes, yes, it really does. And it does hearken back because the original story of this I think was from from 1952, the first time this story was told, uh, Quatermass in the Pit. And I believe wholly that it was inspired by uh, what happened with uh, uh, the Thing, both the movie and the book, Who Goes There? He always looks like this is not good. Always get that look of this is really bad. Now I'll tell you, if you go back and watch the two films with Brian Dunlevy, you definitely get the feel of Doctor Who. This is less Doctor Who-like. He's more stern and more serious about everything, whereas in the earlier stories there's a bit of cheekiness to his his character. Yeah, let's see. Yeah, Who Goes There was August of 1938 was when I came. Yeah, 38 was when the book, well, novella was released. And and if you go read that, by the way, I have several copies of it if you need a copy of it on my computer, so I'm never out because sometimes you just want to go back and reference something. There are so many common threads with John Carpenter's version. There actual scenes right out of the yeah, again with the claw marks. Um, oh yeah, like Blair's cabin cabin. Oh, here we go, the circles, the penitent man, the pentagram. No, no, penises, no, pentagram is spiky. The pentagram man. Hey, there's a pole for pole dancing. Of course, Gary's mind immed goes to pole dancing when he sees a pole. Nothing like a bunch of Toothless limey dancing on a pole. Oh, Andy Marl here for that joke. Yay, hi Andy. I apologize for the jerk. He can't he can't just not do I'm a jerk. I'm a jerk all the time. You're are jerk though, Gary. I I find it funny like with in the past, you know, women I've gone out with, they'll I'll go to a party and someone will inevitably ask him, "Is he like this all the time?" And they'll go, "Oh, he's always like this. He's just quieter at home." But yes, he's a jerk. Been asked that. I have been asked that. You like that when it's just the two of us. Yeah. I find funny how the dynamic between the military man and the scientific man is reversed in this movie. Normally, the the military man scientist is is the idiot, you know, that because they're so worried about like, you know, uh, Malcolm said in Jurassic Park, "You're so concerned if you can do the thing, you don't ask uh, should you do it," you know, and that's been in in the History of Science in sci-fi so often the scientists are so preoccupied with discovering something that they aren't considering the ramifications of it. And this is the opposite of that. The military is wanting to do a bunch of stupid [ __ ] and the scientists going, "Uh, you might not want to do that. You don't know what you're dealing with here. This is energies po beyond your understanding." Hey, Lady V, and do have a Magnetic Moment. Isn't there a Magnetic Moment coming up? Is that later? Uh, it becomes like a giant super magnet and everything just goes flying towards it. Yeah, yeah, but I thought it was telekinesis. I think that's in like the last last third. Is it? I I can't remember where uh, but you you watched it just today, so it's fresh in your mind. I like that. I like that. Oh, Lady V is here. Lady V says hey. Saturday [ __ ] Actually, the thing I find the most implausible in this entire movie is actually the the was it the memory machine where they just conly convert like connect the memories and they convert to video for people to watch. Like yeah, it was hokey. That was hokey. Well, I have read that the there's something like that in progress right now. No, they actually do where um, because you can actually tell what people are dreaming about dreaming about now. You don't get true Vision, but you have a general idea of what they're dreaming about now. And it's really [ __ ] [ __ ] weird. Yeah, but this is like now in comparison. This is well, this is 1960 science. They were nowhere near to that uh, but they needed to create something. It's part of the it's one of the Dex mecc of things. It's like, "We need something to represent because we can't afford to do an actual flashback, so uh, we can do a cheaper effect if if we do it as like something he's seeing and give it a dreamlike blurred quality." Besides, they need to show that that imagery to people that is not sharing the vision the vision. Yeah, hi. Yeah, hi Penny. With Penny's here. Hi Penny. I hope oh, Peter rman fight's here too. What's up man's girl? I guess we can say the gang's all here. Here. Well, if if I had this entire movie is like a mashup of of Lovecraft, uh, pulp science fiction and serious science fiction all at the same time. And again, like I said, this isn't an actual street. They shot this on the movie set uh, I can't remember Shepperton or where it was, but they had a mockup of a city. It's sort of like Warner has a mockup of uh uh, brown houses. I mean, what do they call them? Brown Brownstone houses and stuff. They got all that [ __ ] uh, set up so you can shoot the New York streets. It's where they shot Blade Runner is on Warner one, but Fox, all the major Studios have them. And apparently, in in England they have it too. And this is one of those uh, sets because uh, British Works would not allow them to uh, do anything in a real Subway, much as even entrance. Yes, you're all right, Lady B, totally different. Well, the characters AG is also may I mean, would there be a Quatermass in this day and age? Yes, there could be, but it would be uh, if they were to do this story, I know exactly how I would do it. It would be Ancient Aliens and I would definitely have it petrified and or um, mama ified, not in mud and clay. That'd be weird. Now you you'd want to in case maybe it's like maybe it's like petrified. Well, I would probably have it in a cavity, not in solid earth. Racing racing Jesus, you really you really reach for that one with cavity. Yeah, you really reach that one. That that almost counts as a back door bre for Martin here. Oh most yeah, but but all breaches doesn't count. That's that's unfair. You have some you have some good ones, D. I I I definitely know that the the I don't know if they'd have them be from Mars. They'd probably have them be from somewhere outside the Galaxy because we we know there's there or oh wait, no, actually, you could because it's you know, five million years ago. That's right. Hey, look who's here. Good afternoon. Hi Brian. Good afternoon, my my friend. What what the hell? How you doing? We both went through at the same time. Yeah. ERS. Hey Brian, how are you? Ah, not too bad, thank you. How are you? I had to come in because I do love Quatermass. Yeah, this is such a classic [ __ ] movie, dude. Yeah, pleased you're doing it, mate. Yeah. And I was talking about how uh, British Works uh, would not allow them to use a real Subway, so they went the movie set. I don't know if this was Shepperton or where they was, but this whole thing is like the Warner Brothers Backlot. It's the British version, but I got to be honest, the street really looks fake, even though I know it's a movie set. It's like it just proves again how shitty the budgets were on British Productions. It was MGM Studio, Gary. Oh, was this shot at MGM Studios here in London? Yeah, yeah, due to lack of space. Why so bad? Still, that street looks really bad when you look down the street. The budget would still be the equivalent of the budget for snacks on an American movie. Yeah, I love this scene where he touches it and it starts falling apart. That was cool. And I remember as a kid, this freaking me out the first time I saw this. I think it was seven seven years old when I saw this and those things freaked me out. The honeycomb thing, just that whole thing. I love the sculpture. What what freaked me out later, Brian, was learning that the top right here is actually their mouth. I thought they had beaks. That's their chins. I always thought that too. Yeah, I thought those were beaks, and then I saw a closeup and I'm like, "Oh my God, those are teeth up here." Oh, now I don't like them at all. Oh man, you see long spindly legs. That's all I'm going to say. But Julian Glover is so good in this. I know, isn't he good? He's much overlooked actor in many ways. And you know, he has a connection because this you know, you know this uh, being from Britain that um, Quatermass is the uh, a quintessential inspiration for Doctor Who and um, very much yeah, he was he had radio drama, they had a TV serial, and then they had two movies with an American actor, oddly Brian Dunlevy, shot in Britain by the British production crews uh, with an American actor. I always thought that was queer that they did that. It is, but you're right. Doctor Who borrows heavily or is inspired heavily by the earlier Quatermass. And Julian Glover was in Doctor Who several. That's right. He was in two seasons. He was in uh, season two uh, with Hartnell and then later with Baker uh, in season 17. That's right. Uh, this this this statement from Lady V is really on point. I will say though, the lower the budget, the harder the actors have to work to compensate. Absolutely true. You look at how well done the first Evil Dead was. Yeah, really bring really bring out I mean, they had claymation monsters in it. It was really bad, but it's it's it's a movie that gets under your skin. And I've always said anybody who thinks it's hokey, watch it alone and in the dark by yourself in the middle of the night. Scared the [ __ ] out of me as a kid when I first saw on TV in the 60s. And there's a similarity because you look at this this looks so hokey with the green slime coming out of them uh, and look at the flash marks. Do you see that pause that oh, go back one frame because you can see the flash mark. You can see it there. The flash marks on on the from the M. I like the Johnny Walker ad the on the wall in the there. You can see where the seam line is. Stop it right there. See the seam line along the legs and that looks like fins sticking out. Those are flash marks. That's what you get when you're making things with molds. They'll sometimes have SE something will seep through part of the mold into the crevice and you get these little flash marks. You got to clean them up. Nobody even cleaned them up. That's how their budget was on this. That's money budget. It's purely budget ana um, it is it's not because anybody was lazy. There was no time uh, because you can you only work when you're getting paid. And if there if you're not getting paid, that means there's no time to do it. And so that [ __ ] got left in. They try to mask it by put, you know, holding it a certain way, not getting really big close-ups on it, shoot it quickly and be off camera. Uh, they'll have hero models that'll be cleaned up, but then they'll have the other models that'll have the flash marks on them in this movie. I've seen it multiple times and I'll spot it every single time. Now that's a cleaner model right there, but you still see the the seam line on it. But these things freaked me the [ __ ] out. They really did. They are [ __ ] ugly. They were right up there with the Diex for for giving me night terrors as a a child. Yeah, see, watching this today with it, I you know, I just realized how much uh, movies like the Thing have spoiled me as far as uh, visual effects go. And well, you're talking about practical effects, not visual but practical uh, the Practical effects. And I agree with you 100% because that movie stands up to today on its practical effects. The only scene in it that's weird is the uh, stop motion animation scene with the tentacles in the Final Act. That's the only spot that's kind of hinky looking. Go. I always thought the head being pulled with the string in the uh, the hospital before he blast it was kind of a little sketchy, but no, that was insane. Uh, I think that's one of the best shots in the movie because it's not human anymore. Uh, that is alien goo on the inside of it's stretching. I'm telling you, Rob Bottin nearly killed himself doing that. He was hospitalized twice making the Thing. But again, this goes they start talking about uh, what do they call them? Not Griffins um uh, on churches uh, gargoyles. Gargoyles. Gargo that these things were the inspiration for gargoyles, that these are ancient we they're aliens, but they're what humans perceived as perceived as demons. And this I will say completely, even though I hadn't seen this before, this is way better realized and thought out than Prometheus for this type of type of story. Better. Yes, anything. Yeah, should be he should be embarrassed for that movie. Jesus. I love the fact that like all Hammer films, it's got beautiful cinematography, no matter how cheap the budget is. They always look great. The color looks great. Yeah, believe for that period of time, even though there is a bit of over lighting in the background, it's not it's not so overlit that it's it's um, distracting from the foreground. And that like right here, I like the lighting here. This is actually classic black and white photography lighting right there. What you'd see in a black and white film. And I believe that's because the guy that was cinematographer because he worked on a lot of the early Hammer films and um, let me go look that up real quick. Yeah, who was in this one? Uh, DP on Five Million Again. Beautiful Earth. Yes. I mean, by the way, we commented on the fact that uh, his outfit at the beginning of the film is Dr. Henry Jones's outfit to the teeth, including his uh uh, waistcoat, the bow tie, the hat, everything is Dr. Henry Jones. The cinematographer is Arthur Grant, who did quite a few Hammers. I'm not sure what else he might have done, but he did a lot of Hammer stuff. We can see yeah. I'm going to the credits right now over on Wikipedia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did did several Hammers. Yeah, the title they gave this in the US though is kind of bad. It's like Five Million Years to Earth. It's like uh, Arthur Grant worked on Shadow of the Cat, Curse of the Werewolf, which was another one I brought up uh, earlier with Oliver Reed. Oh yeah, I love that movie uh, the oh, I loved their turn at with Herbert Lom, Phantom of the Opera. I thought was one of the best fleshed out stories of of the character. And he did the Abominable Snowman, the black and white 50s Hammer one. Uh, oh, he has a lot of stuff here, but he goes all the way back to the Third 30s, which is what I was saying. This is clearly the the person who lit this film clearly worked in black and white because a lot of the scenes in this, if you look at it, look like it was lit for black and black and white. White. Well, exterior light scenes, when you see light coming through windows, you'll see what I'm talking about. Look what says here: Exact copy of BBC black and white TV version. Uh, I would not be surprised if this was not CU. Even the creatures look the same. They're very similar to what was used in the TV version. And I've seen that, by the way. I do believe that it was used as the um, storyboard animatic for making this film because it is almost a shot for shot remake, including the way they shot the angle of the ship. The ship was not as nice looking. It was more tubular in its shape, but that's BBC tell you know that they've got [ __ ] budgets. I imagine the climax wasn't as grand in the black and white one. Yes, it is uh, Lady V. Yeah, but what they do put a lot of effort into with Hammer is the actors. Uh, you are guaranteed to get occasionally a little chewing of the scenery, but 95% of the time, absolute straightforward active by real legitimate action actors uh, that are doing the character the best they can. But yeah, that is a lunar surface photo because part of the plot that they're talking about is a planned uh, Mi mission to the moon. Or it's not just a closeup of your skin gny. Yeah, it's it's I can proudly say I don't have pox scars. I did not get acne like all my friends did. Um, it was really weird. I got blackheads around my nose and around my ear, and that was it. And I was constantly scrubbing to to keep that from happening. It's very again, this is that MGM uh, movie set, and it does not look like a real city street at all. Yeah, that bit does doesn't look soal. None of them do. Every angle looks like it's a fake street. Don't you feel though that perhaps like might might add something to the movie giving it a slight sense of unreality as opposed to mundane real mundane real streets? Listen to you overthinking things, Brian. Did that [Laughter] [Laughter] hurt? That's a good If I Had a Brain, it would have would have hurt breach. Okay, okay, that's a good breach. I like that breach. That's a good one, monkey. Good one. The Dark Side of Gary's back door at L. He's putting away his his laziness now. I like the lighting on this scene because this is makes it extra scary what happens here. And and sure, it makes it easier to hide wires and [ __ ] but um, I like that they just go ahead turn off all

The lights, back light here, backlight here, front light here, and just give the impression of something. And that to me is is where you can get really scary.

Well, that's the that's the positive of having low. And this is the te telekinetic scene.

Yes, yeah, yeah. Is it telekinesis or is it magnetic? Because it's all it's all metal.

Yeah, that's what I, Johnny Walker, there you go. That was for you, Brian. And telekinetic is a person who can perform telekinesis.

Oh, I love this. Just starts like floating the wires, like flipping around, and that was cool.

Yeah, I told you, a I told you that was what Brian wanted to talk to you about. I can read comments, mate. We need to talk.

Oh, somebody's going to quit.

Yeah, well, no worries, we'll talker. I know life, I know about life. I've had my struggles recently, but anyway, um, but this this is very these are very important films, and the TV shows were very important to me growing up as a kid, because it's very this is what things like this that got me into science fiction heavily.

Yes, and I love this scene in particular. It scared me because like, what's wrong with him? Because I was always worried about that as a kid. Why are they talking like that? Why are they running like that? And he just wanders off like a madman.

It's a movie. Just get over it.

Yeah, like King SP C back when we did House of the dragon, dragon don't mixes every week, and neither the houses.

I I love every time he says that. Oh, in the even in the after show is even funnier because he he emotes and he get he gets in charactered when he say that's not real.

Oh yeah, was fun. That's that's what I want in my movies, unreal. I don't want real. I live in real. I I either hyper real or unreal, either one. It's called escapism for a reason.

Yes, the fact that they did on ground that is a clearly a a piece of cloth covered on on gravel, and they they move the the cloth and it it gives the Sensation that it's like an earthquake.

Yeah, I I I understand that it you know, in your part of the world that they don't know understand the word cloth. It's called cloth, not cloth. All right, clo thank right clo thank you. God man, I'd hate to watch this movie with Neil deGrasse Tyson. I'd to watch any movie with him because I wouldn't be able to watch the movie. I'd just be making fun of them the whole time.

Yes, me too. Lost a little, you know, there is no Dr. Quatermass. Hey, what was that paper you wrote on on uh uh quantum entanglement?

Oh, that's right, you never wrote one. That's right. Yeah, he please a scientist on television. I know you know what's the part Dolph Lundgren is a better scientist than.

Yes, he is. He is. Yeah, but he's also an in real life uh according to certain things. But you know, he had a drinking problem, so that happens. He's working on it from what I hear.

Oh my God, English teeth, English teeth. Those are bad. Just thinking they're one they're some of the best. They're some of the best racist at all guys. They're some of the best for British teeth, high quality NHS Dentistry right there.

What is it? Naal health services? Yeah, nurse, bring me the nurse, bring me the hammer. By the way, I told you uh they did that uh uh poll back in 2007, 2008 where they pulled people from home and people who are just leaving their their appointment, and what they found out was that uh close to 70% of people leaving people leaving their appointment were satisfied with national health services, and when they pulled people from home who haven't been to their appointment yet, it was down at about about 40%, 40% approval. Because like when they saw the doctor they were great, but while they're waiting for the doctor, not so good.

Well, I can opinion I can testify that the Canadian system is no better. Trust me, no none of them are. They have the same problem. It's the same problem we have the VA unit states.

A you son of a did freeze. I missed it, what you said, dude, shki, what did you say? I missed it. Guys, can you hear me? Unless Gary did.

No, I couldn't hear you because I was talking. Yeah, Gary couldn't hear you over the sound of his own e you Brian.

Yes, my own voice, but we can hear you fine. I just couldn't hear you while I was talking. What did you say, jatski?

Oh, you it looked like you had frozen, so I was like, Gary, are you there? Can you hear me?

Oh yeah, I'm here. D don't worry about it. This is the BBC testing out their first ever streaming [Laughter] [Laughter] service. BBC back door. Yeah, who by the way I explained hello Jim.

Oh, jimari is back. Yeah, I got your earlier comment. It look I am a big fan, Jim, of the the um hammer movie posters, especially their Subway posters.

Yeah, which were uh you know, landscape angled, and some of those are the best. And when I did that one movie poster uh for a buddy of mine, I did it in the classic hammer style uh underground or uh Subway posters uh that was long with the photos of the C they're like quads.

Yeah, love doing stuff like that because I and when they give me a little freedom I have fun doing movie posters. I can hear anything over the sound of how awesome Gary is either.

Oh oh Mouse, don't do that. His ego is big enough. Don't don't do that. I love squeak. Yeah, squeak is a sweetheart, so she's never gonna say anything mean to me. I don't like the tile, but I do like the poster for the five million years to Earth one.

Yeah, this is the part of the Sci-Fi we all have trouble with by the way that we were all talking about earlier where we're going to you know, visually sh represent a a memory of what that technology was not available in the 1960s. Sorry, I think we barely available now uh we have something akin to it today. We do uh but nowhere near as good as what they're showing in this movie.

What did she say? That's continuation because she says this first and then says says [Laughter] [Laughter] Oh, I guess did you show some of the movie posters from this movie earlier?

No, I I just it's the one on the thumbnail. I actually combined two posters for the um uh thumbnail. I love the post art, both the uh British and the uh American releases.

Yeah, when I did did a a whole stream on Hammer a few months ago and and I it was great fun collecting all the posters for the images. This is one of them for that's the ship from that that version. That ship in that poster is the one from the BBC production yeah from a few years earlier, cylindrical. It's uh yeah, the ship is yeah yeah, but the the uh uh Barbara Shelley is also cylindrical in this I think uh she's very orbed I would say say but it's beautiful.

Yeah, I love those those quad posters. They're they're just gorgeous. We l them. Sorry, was that me?

No, that was you. Oh, we should we should go to to commercial break I think that twice. Where's Bill? We lost Bill. Bill, he in yeah, let's go commercial break now.

Hello, me start me start commercial commercial meow meow. Hi guys, this is Gary from Pop Culture Minefield here on KG, and we're leaving for our first break. I hope we survive. Did you know 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated? If you struggle with Focus, run low on energy, or when it's time to finally sleep, you simply can't. This can all be linked to dehydration, and Fuel Up has the answer. Our proprietary formula contains the finest cellular hydration with the strongest immune-enhancing natural ingredients. The Fuel Up system is made up of three different incredibly tasting varieties: Wake, Kickstart your day with a jolt of caffeine; Play, boosts Focus while hydrating your cells; Rest, not only helps you relax but also rejuvenates your cells while you sleep. Here's what our clients have to say: "I really don't miss my coffee and you can tell the difference, so I'm going to take it for the energy, I'm going to take it for the play, I'm going to take it you know all day and it works. That's the thing, it works. We love it." Take the Fuel Up challenge now, where we offer a field of difference money-back guarantee. Fuel Up for Life. Hey members, the new KG DB app is now available on IOS and Android devices. Gain OnDemand access to any KG DB programming. Download any show directly to your mobile device to listen or watch on the go. Go to the App Store and search KG KG DB.

Oh wow, we survived. Welcome back to the commercial break now for some more Pop Culture Minefield on KG. And just like that, you know, I asked him like, well, if that's my thermometer, what I do with my pen?

Oh my God, no no. Oh, I thought you said organist. I'm sorry. By the way, I sent you some real messages, Brian, so G just to point that out again. I'm here against my will.

You're are not against your will. I would never do that, but I did ask you to be here because I like you being on with me. It's I like hanging out with you. You're my the woman I love, and I just want to share these things with you. Um, and the only thing more gay than what I just said is two grown men that's it. Okay.

Yeah, but that's only gay if they're staring directly into each other's eyes.

Yeah, a second time. Yeah, I was just going to say it only counts when it happens twice. You know what I like doing that. Let's do it again. Whatever machine that is that she's wearing, we all should get one of those because she looks like she's enjoying it.

Yeah, that's the Orgasmo orgasmatron orgasmatron. Wy that's the Prototype, the prototype for the one in Demolition Man.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, this is where she starts going going mad because what you discover part of the plot is really interesting that part of the human populace carries this DNA that are are from the um Apes in this location, and it's spread out around the world because uh there are modified Apes. The insects modify the Apes. If you evolve from like another one, you know, you don't have this Gene, but any of the Apes that were because the Apes that were from this area the the prehistoric man were genetically modified. They're actually brought here. There is a technical name for them: Londoners. Londoners. Lond only allow to that's the anthropological archaeological name for them: Londoners. They're Apes from that area, and and you know how to detect them: their teeth are way too nice.

That's right, and we just lost the British part of our of our audience. We audience we have thought. Yes, we have Andy is here uh who was there anybody else from England? Andy's a good lad. He wouldn't take I love Andy Mar. He's got a great hum. He inundates me with so many funny memes uh so I know he's got a good sense of of humor. 70s. I thought you were going to say it was soccer hooligans. That's how you can tell.

Well, that's Londers and soccer are the same thing. And is not very happy right happy right now. No, he he's laughing. He's having a good time. Um, and I tell him that at least this where they this is where they saved on the budget by showing those dream sequences. They didn't have to do a flashback or describe it and then show it uh they they were able to shoot in darkness and with tiny tiny Miniatures and it saved them so much money and using the um what do they call the curved lens with Vaseline on the outside so everything's really blurred. That um hyperfocus that actor that's playing the the military guy there, Brian Marshall J Glover.

Yeah, no Brian Marshall's the other one, the blonde, the more blond haired guy. He's the other yeah, the guy that's there's another military guy in there. He's he's in a he was in a lot of stuff, Long Good Long Good Friday.

Um, I love that movie, dude. The Punisher, the 9 version of The Punisher and stuff like that. What was he in there? Yeah, um, he played [Music] [Music] um oh God, what was it uh Dino Moretti. He was the the he played Beretti. Yeah, he was Moretti. I couldn't remember the I think Dino I couldn't think of the name Morti. He played Dino Moretti. Brian Marshall had seen at the table with the Japanese uh Yakuza lady.

Yeah, yeah. So she said, you know, are while your ancestors were still sheep or goats, my family was running Japan. You know uh yeah, but he was in a lot of stuff. Yeah, he's an interesting actor. That's I mean, the all the character actors they get in these were were always excellent. You know, the Hammer stuff. Hammer really was British Cinema for a while. It was the only Cinema making money from the UK.

Yep, um Hitchcock was technically not a British director anymore uh he the even though uh what's the schizophrenic movie he did in the 60s after Psycho pych no after Psycho. I said Jesus Christ um oh God, Strangler in England, and he actually shot it in England, and it was like kind of a huge thing that he came back to England to make a movie. Yeah, and it was guy strangling women with nylons.

Um, I think that's just in your mind, Gary.

No no, it's a real I'm just kidding. Um Gary's mind is a scary place. God, I could picture it too. Anyway, yeah, he was an American. The only things that were making money really were were um Hammer and the car on movies. The comedy movies made money. HDG exactly. Hammer did something uh and it started in the late 50s. Technically, they started early 50s, but they didn't start making money until the late 50s, and it's when they put out uh I think the first one was Dracula, right? Frenzy. Then they did Frankenstein. Frenzy is the movie Jim says Frenzy. That's it. Frenzy was Hitchcock's return to England to make an English Psycho movie, and I love that film by the way. Great cast. Um, I'm trying to see if I can find it here real quick because forget who that actor was uh let's see Frenzy starring John Finch. That's it. No, John John Finch. Yeah, yeah. John Finch was a great uh low-budget movie actor from Britain. Great conry. I'm here to fix this problem. I'm going to use my left thumb because my right thumb is far too powerful. Yeah, wait till I get my red cord piece on. That'll short them out. Damn you, Zas, damn you to Hell. Uh worst Sean Connery movie ever made is actually um The Avengers. Such a disappointment. His Dentures, you could hear his dentures in that that movie, and it was frustrating listening to him talk and hear his dentures and you go back and watch it and you'll know what I'm talking about. You can hear the there's a sound that happens with the air when they when you're talking. Pretty sure there was a worse one than that. What was that? Why is an actor like him that doesn't get better? D the green KN was pretty bad. What was the one he made where he was like a wizard in it or something for 10 minutes? Um oh um it'll come back to me. I I idea I remember the Green Knight was not very good. Wasn't that hang on it had uh what's his name uh Miles O'Keefe. How many how many oys did it have? Miles miles oh my God, why my why my ears what ears what medicine by the way sword of the yeah sword of the Valiant. The Green Knight, sword of the Valiant, really bad. Sword of the Valiant is the title that I know of that movie because the green it's the Green Knight. It's the tale of the green yeah that that is the worst movie he's ever been in. That the worst movie. So you and I are sympatic on that. Good even Dario Gill's better than that. Dario Gill's actually F this movie until you mentioned it, and now I Wish I Never Had. Now the other difference between again I brought this up before you were here about his version of quad mass and the previous versions is the previous versions are a little more cheeky whereas he plays it straight in this film. He is absolutely playing dramatic in this film. That freaked me out too, the the veins in it like it was alive. That freaked me out as a kid. Oh, the Sheep is alive. It's organic. I know and it scared the out of me as a kid that that was alive. It's alive. It's got veins because I remember asking my D what are those? He goes, those are veins. I'm like, it's alive. It's alive. You were so impressible. See, not the not the pub now they're heading down. See, that's the answer to everything in Britain. You know what we're got an alien invasion going here. H it let's go down the down the PB. That's one of the things that I really love about the the race in staged Atlantis that the ships are organic. That's awesome. That's fantastic and scary time. But then it attacks the booze, and that's how you know British Society really is under attack. Another show that did that before uh Stargate was um the one done by Jim Henson uh what was that show called? Far escape because sh is alive and space. Above and beyond the the CH ships have organic components. I didn't I didn't know components that is one thing, but with the race the whole ship is organic. The whole ship is alive, and the same thing with Farscape, the ship is alive uh interact. It's been used in a few things that concept. Yeah, Babylon 5, the Shadows. Yeah, yes. I just don't remember that. Just depends how you depends how you get into the ship. That's what's important. If it's I like that. Can we go can we go back to that again, Martin? Can we go back which entrance do you use? Do you go in the front of the ship or the back door of the ship? I want to show that um Quatermass's character is also infected because he's got that Gene. Oh yes, and he's got that lost crazy look in his eyes. There there he is. He's following the the mob, and his friend grabs him. This this is such a good film. I really do love this. Really do love this movie. Just about everything in the Qutermass mass um want to call it that was great. You know, get ready for the look. There he's just just miles away in his head. He doesn't recognize him. He doesn't know who he is. He doesn't know where he is. He think he that Newcastle Brown Ale is strong stuff. It you up, mate. You see, only had two paints. Oh, dead at the pub, totally pissed. He wants to remind him of his British Humanity. What does he do? He feeds him alcohol. Feeds him alcohol, some whiskey. What he does that's what he does. Here's a pint. You'll feel better. That's right. Yeah, I I get chewed out for seeing things like that and Brian doesn't that's up G. Now these these um aliens are Martians, aren't they? And in this yeah, Martians and there would need to be something else or I would say that they're transplants from Mars because Mars was dying, which goes right along with ancient alien theories that Mars was once habited once habited. They came here. We are Martians. But you see, when people say that they go, well, how did life on Earth start? Well, maybe we came from Mars. I'd say, well, that's great, but you're only pushing the problem further back. How did Life on Mars start then? Oh man, his death. Smoking is bad for you. That's the positive proof that smoking is bad for you. You [Laughter] Yeah, was that like a B of lightning that did that to him? I can't yeah oh yeah, the thing got supercharged because they decided to hit it with electricity. Yeah, yeah. The minute that they did that they gave it all the energy it needed to come back. And this scene scared the out of me too as a kid when you see the giant ghostlike figure of of one of these Martians that look like demons over the city. Scared the out of me as a kid. It really did. It's the devil. That's what it's supposed to be. And I do I you know I knew that this guy was gonna die that he was going to give his life to save Humanity to stop this and just that look on his face just now right there that look he's got tells you everything you need to know about that character. Someone's got to do this and it's clearly not you Quatermass because you're half insane right now. I guess it's up to me to give my life for the world because any other time you know, Quatermass would have done that. Quatermass was all

You know the one thing I liked about his character, uh, was, you know, yeah, he's fun, he's cheeky, but in the end, he's willing to do what is necessary to stop something, including if it costs him his life. He's a very heroic character.

One thing I've always wanted to do—I was told that there, there are BBC dramas, radio dramas of this done in the 40s—uh, I don't know. I want to find out if that's true, and I would like to hear some of those, how they did it on radio. I don't know, I'm not sure I've ever heard those. I mean, I'm aware of the, the TV serials, because maybe not the first one, but the second and third and fourth I've seen. The first one was—there's only two episodes left of it. I'm not sure they ever re—because it was done, done in 1953, the very first one. It was groundbreaking television science—it 53 or 52? I thought it was 52. 52, maybe? Yeah, it was, it was ground—not just in Britain, but globally. One of, if not the first major science fiction shows on a, a television station anywhere. So, um, so and the first two movies—uh, let me double check on them—because the first one was called *The Quatermass Experiment*, and the second one was just simply called *Quatermass*, uh, *Quatermass 2*, uh, *Experiment*. Inventive title, yeah, very. And by the way, they put the X in the title because they knew they were going to get an X rating. Very clever—with they did it with the first one. It was um—and they did, they got an X-rating for the first movie because it was too heavy and dark a subject, and it was gory. It had some really gross effects in it, uh, which is odd because I look at this and like, this is 1 compared to what we got now, but this is like, oh, of course, of course. But I'm not sure there was a radio—Cal—I'm gonna—what I'm looking to see right now because, um, there was—I'm going to look it up real quick because—mention it online in the sites I'm looking at, but it doesn't mean there wasn't—it just doesn't mention them. I know there was a TV uh, serial, and then they had a—it was like one season—which they didn't do seasons in Britain—it was just simply one show. Well, they did six—*The Quatermass Experiment*, the first one was six episodes. Unfortunately, only two of them still exist. Yeah, that's where it got it started. And then *The Quatermass and the Pit*, and that was up to 1959. Then there was the '79 John Mills one, 1979 John Mills *Quatermass*, and then they remade the first serial in 2005, um, with Jason Fleming. But the first one was six EP—they were all six episodes, actually. Yeah, it was during the 50s that the BBC had what they referred to as science fiction serials.

Oh yeah, here's the Big Crane scene. Um, yeah, this is such a good scene. Scared the [ __ ] out of me as a kid. Great idea though, uh, to ground it with *The Day of the Triffids*. That movie scared the [ __ ] out of me. Ditto—the first version scared the [ __ ] out of me. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, we haven't done it, Jim, but it, it should be in the future. Yeah, we got to do that one. Yeah, but, uh, uh, you know, they—the thing that freaked me out about it was that the meteor shower blinded anybody that saw it. Yep, apart from that lucky guy that was—er—for the Triffids. Yeah, the one guy that was in the hospital with his eyes bandaged. I always thought the casting was a bit weird there. What was it—was the singer—what was his name? Howard Keel, uh, Howard Ke—that was the lead, by the way, if you want to see what the, the black and white one looked like. I got it shared on my screen, okay? After the, uh, video we, uh, stre—thing—let me see if I can find it. 19—*The Memoirs* was the only radio one, but that was 1986. It was Andrew—here we go—1963 *Day of the Triffids*, um, how—Howard Keel—that's who—was a singer, of course. He was a like *Seven Brides for Seven Brothers* type stuff, you know? And yeah, great lead drama, great drama role for him, you know. I am proud to say that I have every version of *The Day of the Triffids* that has been put—it on screen. Nice. There was a, um, Hammer uh, anthology film that had a *Day of the Triffids* short story in it. You remember that one, Brian? I have not. Uh, where—on a train, telling—and the guy's reading cards—it's Peter Cushing, I think. Oh yeah, yeah, I have seen it—like way back in the late 70s, I think, or early 80s. Yeah, can't remember it. Yeah, I like the way this movie ends with just the titles playing over them, yeah, facing the realization that it's over, but he's dead. Yeah, using the crane was great. I mean, to ground the thing—fantastic way of defeating the energy of the, the alien's ship. Y—well, was well done. It's a very somber ending though, don't you agree with how they did that? The film continues all the way through the credits. It's very—DBE. Yeah, seven AR also is very 1950s, uh, B-movie horror thing because it would always just be—monster blows up, and then the end. Now I do want to point something out in this shot—uh, this is the exact same street used in the original Alfred Hitchcock, um, *The Man Who Knew Too Much*, because when she has to shoot the guy holding her kid up on the, uh, uh, top of the building—that's the building behind him there—that, that scene was shot—shot on—it's a little thing—little bit of trivia. Indeed, good stuff. Let's see this thing you got here. Yeah, see like I told you—very insect-like. And that's creepy-looking as [ __ ]—it's pretty good, isn't it? I hate it because it is so creepy—that's why—because it's insect-like, but it's fun talking about Hammer films every once in a while. Next week, uh, Tom will be here. Tom actually mentioned that he might be here, but he just knew nothing about this film, but I said just stop and say hi if you want to, but I think he's just going to take it easy. Normally it's Tom and Tom and Gary—Tom and Jerry, I mean Gary, um, the—um, next week we're doing *RoboCop*, and, um—"You have 10 seconds to comply." I still have to see that one, you know that I have—watch—oh, you have to see the extended—you have to see the extended—with—she said—"Oh, oh my—give the man a hand!" What is this show becoming into? And we still have over half an hour to go. I'm scared. So, so the, so the director—the director of, of that movie we just watched was the great Roy Ward Baker, who directed dozens of Hammers. Yes, but he also did a lot of fantastic television in his career: *The Avengers*, um, *The Saint*, *Champions*, *Randall and Hopkirk*—if you've ever seen that—which is a great—and *The Persuaders*. Was that also a Jerry Anderson production? No, that wasn't a Jerry Anderson—it was uh, that was the one with Tony Curtis—and—Curtis and Roger Moore. Roger Moore, that's right. Yeah, it wasn't—I don't think it was any—do Jerry Anderson—it was actually neat—the theme music is by John Barry, and it's one of the best theme tunes—theme tunes ever in any show ever. It's, it's brilliant. But yeah, he did all that—he did a lot of that, that stuff. Um, *Jason King*—these are all shows I grew up watching. *The Champions*—that was such a great show. Nobody remembers that. I'm so glad I remember that show. And I used to think—because I had just bought *Queen Live Killer*—oh yeah, when uh, I saw that show for the first time—I thought—was there some sort of association with that song and them? I was really confused by that—like, what are the odds? I buy this album, the show comes on. Yeah, it's funny that the CH—yeah, *Champions* is a completely forgotten show. It was one of these ITC sort of science fictiony type things. ITC was, to me, a sign of quality. Yeah, they made such good shows. Well, they produced everything for, for Jerry Anderson. Yeah, uh, ITC did *The Muppets*. Um, it wasn't until they had, uh, uh, ITC or ITV here in the US that things get stupid because that's [ __ ] up, uh, uh, *Space: 1999*, because season 1 was being produced by—IITC in Britain. Yep, and then they switched to the American office, and they hired Fred Freiberger, who screwed up the last season of *Star Trek*, and he turned it into *Space: 1999*, season 2, into monster-of-the-week [ __ ]. I know. I really never understood that. I mean, all of a sudden there's this woman that can change into animals even though she's not human—so how would she know? You know? So it's weird—it's like—I want to go back to this being on the moon base and, you know, you know, just sort of *Star Trek* type stuff of surviving week to week with, you know, crises of the week. And then had this weird woman—by Lady V. Yeah, she had to leave. I just saw it—sorry. Also several people disappeared in season two, and it was like, well, where did they go? Well, the professor was gone—he—and they explain it later in the comics—do—but they just didn't want him back, uh, and I knew him from *The Fugitive* because he was the detective chasing Kimble in the show. Very good actor—Barry Morse, um, the other one who was kind of kicked to the back was, uh, Alan, uh, the—a—I know, I liked him as well. Yeah, uh, he was like a main character—season one—then he's kind of in the background. Yeah, and they brought this other guy forward—like Tony Verdeschi or whatever his name was—and he was—where did he come from? There's a finite number of people in this base, and we've never seen him doing anything ever, and all of a sudden he's in charge. And look, as much as she was—she was hot, um, the, the British actress that plays, uh, the changeling—that always bothered me—that was so chintzy—Saturday morning chintzy. Yeah, I didn't like it. It's a gimmick—it was, it was very gimmicky. It's Fred Freiberger—yeah, total gimmick. Yeah, Keith and I have gone into this because we are not fans of Fred Freiberger. He was a blight on *Star Trek*, and then a blight that destroyed the series that followed up *Star Trek*: *Space: 1999*. It easily could have been the show. He's the reason why they changed the, the, the, um, command center. To me, it's almost like he, he, he didn't take the material seriously, you know? It's only—Chi—find—he was one of these guys, I think, that just—so—is a cheap gimmick and cheap thrills, you know? That's exactly what it was—he didn't consider it, uh, highbrow—that it could be quality story—he just, he saw it as a way of making a buck and—let's—next week—let's do something. And that's why, you know, like David Prowse was in there, uh, there's another tall actor—we were talking about him, uh—well, they had such great guest stars in *Space: 1999*—just—there's actually one—let me find it real quick—Keith and I were talking about this last night—is—here—mine was on an episode—and guys like that, you know, just—oh [ __ ]—what's his name was—under twice—big mouth English—Brian—Shakespearean actor—Brian—yeah, Brian Blessed. Brian was—season one and season two. I got a—I got an image to share with you—it's nothing to do with *Space: 1999*—it's uh, from *The Champions*—Alexandra—Alexandra Bastedo—was the female lead in *The Champions*—all s—she was quite something, you know? That's kind of—that has messed with sci-fi shows—like, you know, examples I can think of—I think like—Troi replacing Dr. Crusher in *Star Trek: The Next Generation*—and one of the ones I always bugged me was season three of *Sliders* when they brought in the, the military girl because, you know, she's hot—and then John Rhys-Davies quit, and the series was just never as good. H—I know. So here we go—let me, um, share my screen now—share screen—present—share—share—present—Pleasant. Terry Richards plays the creature in this episode. Uh, I just watched this episode yesterday, uh, it's episode 15, season two, uh, and, uh, Terry Richards, of course, is the a sword-carrying Arab in, uh, *Raiders of the Lost Ark*. He plays the giant creature in it, uh, there's Tony Anholt—he plays Tony Verdeschi. Yeah, and he came from nowhere—like, come on—there's a finite number of people on this base—how come he wasn't in season one? Yeah, at least—Cther Shell was from another world. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but uh, this is the guy—he plays the alien—where's the photo of him—right here—this is him in the m—in—in the show—and, uh, but the actor is the same actor who plays the villain in the, uh, *Zorro* movie—the first *Zorro* movie with, uh—um—there he is—because as I'm watching the episode I'm like—I know that [ __ ] face—I know him—and then it's—was like—that's it—he was in *The Mask of Zorro*—he's done a lot of stuff—oh, he [ __ ] do in *Hot Fuzz*—the one with the shotgun at the end—holy [ __ ]! Yeah, I didn't remember that—holy [ __ ]—that was him—yeah—the one who, who gets his foot shot—shot off after being shot like three or four times. He's really a good actor, to be honest with you. He was really good in *The Mask of Zorro*, but he was in that episode. I'm very fond of that show still—even season two—despite itself—I still do like season two because it's still got—we, we did read out the winning lottery numbers tonight in the Canadian uh, lottery, so I'm sorry you missed that. Also, um, what was that unsolvable equation that you figured out halfway through the show, Brian? Uh, well, I don't want to tell because I don't want him looking—the—Fagus—the Fagus—the Fagus theory equation—we're still gonna get banned by Fagus—we're still getting can—yeah, it's gonna be math that gets me banned. Oh, we are banned already—they just want us to believe that we're still alive—we figured out how to divide by zero—so—but we're not going to tell you how to do it—again—th—you weren't listening—so—for—oh, somebody posted one of those equations—it was uh, 10—what was it? 10 * 0 = = uh +—and the problem is they, they were trying to make people look stupid in the, in the comments going—"No, it—the answer is 81." I said, "It's only 81 if the center equation is in parentheses, and you don't have the parenthesis, so it doesn't work the way you're saying." Right? And, and I made them look stupid and they—it's got to be a parenthetical statement for it to work the way you're saying that it's 1 time this—minus this—then a separate equation by itself—plus that—what is it equal? The answer is 81. And, um, but the answer—and—end to the way it's written—is written—is 10. Yeah, I did discover what the final prime number is that ends the prime number sequence, but again, I'm not going to tell you—th—you missed it—sorry. Yeah, we, we, we've discovered Spock's prime number. Yep, that's right. You get a lot of uh, spam in Twitter—do you—Twitter—do you guys?—No, not really. I've had a couple of spam DMs, but not many—at least five a day—and I just, just go in there because it won't let them through—I just go in and just delete them—but I'm like—"Goddamn man"—it's because I'm starting to get a lot of readership on my comments, especially when I comment and, and share something from something from Doomcock and, uh, or if I say something political. The only thing I did do on, on Twitter is I said, "Okay, that's it—I'm done with all the drive-by comments from people I don't [ __ ] know"—nobody can comment on my page unless they—I follow them. I saw that, that you did that. Yeah, I'm just done with it—like these stupid drive-by comments that are just dumb, and I'm not going to respond to them. I'm like—"You're just going in here just to [ __ ] be an [ __ ] [ __ ]—you troll somebody else—I have no time for your trolling." But, uh, uh, my buddy John—*The Day of the Triffids*—great one—great movie—The 1960 film is really good, but I also gotta tell you—I have a soft spot for, uh, Carpenter's remake. I do like it—I do like it. I think Christopher Lee did a really good job, uh, it was back when—Chris—the—Alias—was still hot—still hot—no—all three of her are hot—all—what—all three of her are hot now? Oh, Brian—sorry—Kirsty—we love you, Kirsty—but you know—is she still alive? I thought we lost her—did she—is she gone? I think she's gone. Yeah, is she—sorry—I feel even more sorry, Kirsty—but you know—she's under a million-year contract, so you know—she'll be back in another form. Yeah, I know—know you mention it—I do remember—I do remember—of Scientology—she'll come back. Um, no—yeah, we lost her last year—she's living—no—you mentioned it—I remember now. Yes—it's—this—it's a damn shame—it was two—two shames about her—she was a Scientologist and that she died—which one's worse? I'm still not sure. Yeah, but uh, when she took over running *Cheers* as the manager—owner—I actually—Elizabeth—how—was it—wasn't her character's name Elizabeth Howe? No, it was—was it Sam and Diane? So it was—was her character name Diane? Or no—Diane was the first girl—Shelley—Shelley Duvall? Or not Shelley Duvall—Shelley Long. Shelley Long played Diane, and then she left, and they brought in Kirsty—the Alias—I think Elizabeth—Elizabeth Howe—that's how—that's right. I gotta—yeah—Rebecca Howe. Yeah, that was her name—Rebecca Howe. That was a good show, uh, I love that series all the way to the end. It never lost—theme for me—a lot of shows will lose—Ste—like, like that—and *M*A*S*H*—for some reason those series just kept going on for—like—ironically, *M*A*S*H* lasted longer than the Korean War. It did. Yes, I actually find that later seasons of *M*A*S*H* are not as satisfying—it got a little too cheesy—places—and preachy—it's also overly preachy—they got overly didactic—and this happened when it really—it really started when, um, uh, what's his name—quit—quit, uh, that played, um, it was Hawkeye—and what was the other—Honeycut—was that it? No, it was the first guy—and he left—he, he was his first partner on the show that lived with him in the tent, and he's his best friend—always getting a hij—jinks—and when he quit the show—he quit the show—that's me staring at you right now. Oh God, I'm trying to—God, I'm trying to remember, um, hold on—I'll just look it up. Yeah, I—yeah, I mean—only—we had some thing that we could research while we're—yeah—see, I loved all the books—I read all the books—and they were very different—there—nothing like the show or fil—nothing like—yeah, uh, Wayne Rogers played Trapper John—trapper—Trapper John, uh, Wayne Rogers got pissed—and Trapper John—he was getting pissed at what, what was going on—is they were making it a Hawkeye-centric show, and they were starting to get a little bit didactic with his uh, stories, and it pissed him off, and he wanted off the show, so they, they got him off the show, and then, um, but they didn't kill him—he went home. Uh, McLean Stevenson, on the other hand, wants to move on with another—his career—and they [ __ ] just kill him—Henry—Henry—yeah, Lieutenant Henry Blake. Henry Blake. And, uh, but I gotta tell you—I liked uh, Sherman Potter better—I thought he was a better character. Radar was the one consistent thing from the film to the show—the only consistent thing—apparently he thought he was the star of the show—Gary Burghoff. No, he didn't—he did—he—a bit of an ego in him—finally thought he—part of the show. Yeah, I, I, I always think of him as the guy from *Dragnet*. So yeah—which guy? Oh, you're talking about, uh, Sherman T. Potter. Sherman Potter. Yeah, we're talking about Gary Burghoff as Radar O'Reilly. Now, um, Radar—his career died—I remember the first thing he did after *M*A*S*H* ended—and after *M*A*S*H* ended—oh, thank you—somebody got that. Oh, it hurts me—Brian didn't get it—Brian didn't get it—sorry—I was reading something—there was—

Another show that was a sequel called Aftermash, After M, and I said so. After Mash ended, and after Mash ended, uh, Gary Boff's next job was um, playing the killer when they made an American version of M, that was originally made in the 30s with Peter Lorre, yeah, as a child killer. And it was terrible. I don't think I've seen the original; wasn't the original a creepy movie? Seen him in any of those or anything other than Mash? He was the only one, only guy to to carry over from the movie as a regular, I think. I mean, there might have been others. No, there was another spin-off with him; it was called a [Music] Walter. What? They did a pilot? Oh, it never aired. I would have heard of it. I, I don't know about this. I will tell you there is another spin-off; it was called Trapper John, M.D., but what they did is they recast because Wayne wasn't interested in playing the character anymore, and he got Pernell Roberts from, from uh, uh, Bonanza to take over the role. And that was where they did the first televised Vietnam veteran having difficulties episode where they, once again, they made Vietnam vets look like they were broken. Yeah, Hollywood's never understood veterans. But anyway, it's, I felt M*A*S*H went on too long, as well. Many shows do. Many shows do; they just don't know when to stop, and you get that sag happens. I mean, it's happened to all; Frasier went downhill for quite a period, and you know, all these major sitcoms have all, they all go down like this. They might finish strongly because, you know, it's finishing, but there's always a dip. I think more than six seasons, to me, and you're pushing your luck. I think yeah, Cheers was one of those shows that I don't think they ever had a sag during the run of the show; it was always just, it was sharp and um, and I gotta be honest, I think part of that was because they would add new cast members every once or have to um, and it was, it was, they always had interesting characters too in there. And oddly, I think it has a lot to do with the familiarity that you get with those characters that made the charming of the characters that we, their beloved characters.

Another show that was like it was Barney Miller; it it went all the way until the end; it was strong. Uh, Mash, on the other hand, it had a huge dip in the the middle, and then it came back because we knew it was coming to an end. And uh, I think I would say almost the majority of Americans tuned in for the finale of that show that had showed it in the UK; it was on in the UK every week as well. It's yeah, that that was a big win there too. Well, the the prime example of just going on way too long is, of course, The Simpsons. This is why this right here, Dragon ruse, is why you need to be here for the whole show. I actually brought that up not only like 10 minutes ago. I said the Mash, the other thing about Mash was that it lasted longer than the actual Korean War. Remind me again though, but in Mash did they ever actually move the Mash in the show? Yeah, they had bug out, right? I'm trying to remember if they, they bug out to move several times because that's the whole purpose of it; it's mobile, mobile. Now, when I was in uh, because we had the last Mash unit, and it was changed while I was in the Army from Mash to Mash to cash, um, and uh, casual Army. I think it has to do with casualties, and uh, that would be a good title for the final Mash spin-off: The Last Mash, Last Mash unit, unit Cash, Cash. Yeah. Canned laughter is something that pisses me off in comedy. They didn't put the canned laughter in the British screenings of Mash, the show. Good. One season they put the canned laughter in, and everyone hated it, so they took it out again, so there was no canned laughter. It's very [ __ ] annoying. I, annoying. I don't, that is the only issue I have with Undateable is the canned laughter before they went live. I can't watch that show. Has yeah, I can't watch. It's so good. It's Undateable is so good that I can tolerate it, but man, it sucks. If I was a producer, I would put it in at the wrong moments just to [ __ ] people up. Yeah, applaud at the wrong moments too. That's right. Yeah, like when somebody leaves the, leaves the, applaud somebody dies, and you get, I actually wrote a pilot that was like that; the the concept was the guy gets stuck like the sitcom from hell that never ended. So literally everything's messed up, and there's laughter going on, and he can hear and he like what the [ __ ] is going on? What is wrong with you people? That's yeah, that is good. I like that. I mean, you're walking along the street and you hear canned laughter, but I mean, there been a, there was an episode, there was a Twilight Zone episode was a little bit like that, but not quite. Oh, I remember that one; the one the guy sitting at his desk in the office, and he looks up, and all these canned television cameras and lights are there, and this is his life. He L up goes, what? There's an episode of Mr. Robot where he ends up, after being beaten half to death, he's like in a sitcom, and Mike will love this: Alf is in there with him. Oh god. Oh, thank you. Yeah, here you go. I'm gonna put this in the private chat. Uh, this is funny. Uh, I told everybody, uh, and my buddy that sent it, Nate Cher, who's been on here, he works uh, I think he works for Mesda. I can't remember who he works for; it's it might be EA Games he works for now. He's a game developer. I was trying to get my head behind that, and he's also, he's been on here as a panelist. He just, he, we've been friends for 30 years. I love this guy, and uh, he sent me this video last night, guys. It's in the private chat. I'll share it with you in the public chat too, this video, and I said this is Alex Kurtzman's hell when he dies; this is where he should be sent. It's the opening of Star Trek that never, never starts; it builds up to the them, never goes there, and it plays for like 10 minutes. I just started laughing when I'm watching to this, and I'm like, that should be an eternity for Alex Kurtzman. Imagine if you were, if that was what your life was like, like this video, build up to something, you then not happen, build up to something and not happen. Oh, if you want a really crazy one with sitcom formatting, uh, Too Many Cooks on Adult Swim; it's literally just the opening theme that never ends; it keeps getting more and, oh, I've seen that one; it's so, it's so weird. A lot of that stuff on Comedy Central was done for people who are still, there's a musical equivalent by the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, Neil Innes and Co. from the 60s; it's called The Intro and the Outro, and it's like five minutes of them introducing people as they start playing their instruments, and then five minutes of them winding down; never actually get to the song, but they're also by the end of it they're going on vibes, Adolf Hitler, you know, Chong, and you know, this goes crazy, you know, the Bonzo, you might, I don't if you know them, British comedy music, TR Troop, that Neil Innes, who later on went on to do Monty Python stuff and the Rutles was the, was the in them, and it were very eccentric, let's put it that way. Chairman Mao on catering. That's right. That kind of thing. Yeah, the Bonzos were funny, very funny stuff. Oh man, I've never, I don't remember them. I, canyons of my mind or something was another one, the string cheese, string holes in my string vest, and you know, just, and then the the Urban Spaceman was a sort of hit single they had, but it's just one of these weird eccentric British things. Were of them were guys with big mustaches, this way that would, you know, with names like Kevin Farrington Swan, and you know, I've heard that one before. It's all memes like that, you know, just let's see, Stel was the main guy. When JJ dies, he needs to be placed in a mystery box. Yeah, which coffin is JJ's? Do we have to wait until he dies? Do we have to wait? Do we have to wait? Right away, get that out of the way. JJ, over here, quick. I want to show you something. GJ, JJ, look, look in here. By the way, last night while Keith was over and DUS wolfin was here at the house, uh, I was cracking jokes that I am never allowed to crack on this show, uh, about Kathleen Kennedy and JJ Abrams and Alex Kurtzman, and they were just [ __ ] nasty, mean, brutal, violent comments that I said. Yeah, I would probably be banned off YouTube if I ever made those jokes in public. What she just requires that they, but I had Keith rolling out of his chair; he was laughing at what I said. He's like, oh my [ __ ] God. I always, I break Keith all the time; it's one of my favorite things to do. And I had Keith all, you know, it was just us at the table last night, the four of us sitting there, and it was just me [ __ ] with him the whole evening, just saying things that were [ __ ] up, and uh, he would go, well, you, you know, what to save Star Trek. I said, you know, to save Star Trek, and then I'd say F something [ __ ] up. What the [ __ ] is wrong? Let's see a Scottish comedy group I liked, at least musically, like comedy, came out recently is the the Rubber Bandits. They have one song in particular called Black Man where it's like literally, he has the most diverse gang ever, but he doesn't have a black man, so that's what he's looking for in his gang. Actually, don't know that one, the rubber, Rubber Bandits. Yeah, the Rubber Bandits; their gimmick is they have what is it, shopping cart, uh, bags, and they're like have masks cut out of those like T-school bags and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's okay. I'll look that up. I'll look that, look that up. Yeah, they, you don't know the Bonzos? That's, they did the great version of The Monster Mash, better than the the one everyone knows. I think I'm going to YouTube to see, see if I can look him up so I can watch them. I what'll be funny is if I go, oh, I do know these guys. You will know them; they were famous in the 60s, famous comedy music group, and with the Monty Python associations because Neil Innes is the, did all the music from Python stuff, and then it went on to do the Rutles amongst other things. I know the Rutles. I brought that up, and other people are like, what is that? Pre, the Prefab Four, the Prefab Four. Prefab Four. It was made for um, uh, that that nasty, what is that, uh, the other one with, with miniature Stonehenge. What were they called? Sp, Spinal Tap. I said before Spinal Tap, there were Rutles, and it was the one it started the whole rock mockumentary. The Prefab Four, a legend in their own lunchtime. Ni, uh, another American one guy who released a couple albums that I enjoyed is Trevor Moore. Trevor Moore. Yeah, he has like one that's like, you know, it's like High in Church, which is, oh, I know who you mean. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know the name, but see, yeah, musical comedy is a, is a particular, particular skill. Yeah, the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, the Dudah Band, Bono Dog Dudah Band or U, what was it, Gays Got Married, which is a country singer singing about gay marriage being legalized, and it's like, you know, the the like right-wing nightmare come to life, and he ends up in a bunker at the end waiting to, waiting to die. By the way, uh, bringing that up, I, I, you know, when you grew up in Scotland, I don't know if it was the same up North, but I know when I was in London, I went into a public bathroom in a um, in, in London, I think it was Hyde Park, and um, there was a sign when you go in the door, you look right up, and it was right above your head going through the door that said No Gays, and they had a law on there. Well, back in, I mean, it, it wasn't legalized in Britain until I know early 60s or something. I don't know, but I don't recall seeing signs like that myself, but then this was in 77 when I saw, I don't, I mean, I may have, I just don't remember it. There might have been signs up saying No Hanging Around In Here, No Loitering. Yeah, that one was very specific to the specific kind of loitering, and uh, there's like basically saying No Buggery In This Bathroom, so you obviously left that bathroom immediately because W, I'm like, oh well, that's why I came here. Several times. I do remember reading about you in the papers. I'm 13, going through puberty; I want some stuff, man. I want it to happen. Yeah, it's now, of course, that you'd have signs up saying Everyone Welcome, No Matter Which Of The 900 Genders You Are. Place objects in hole. Oh, hole. Oh, Jes, SL machine. This hurts. If you kill me, Gary, I'm gonna come back from hell to take you, take you there. There are people who probably have a morbid fear of public bathrooms; probably it's probably a phobia. I always have, I told you the incid up in Glasgow when I was in that big and his weird bathroom stories because Glasgow is very Gothic, and they had a Gothic train station, and I went in there, and I followed my dad in, and they, when you walk in the door, there's this giant wall that stands a little over six feet, tiled, and the whole room is vaulted, 20, 30-foot ceiling, you know, and you can see the vents going through, and there's stone masonry and giant windows that don't start until 10 feet up. The windows used to be very tall in Scotland; we were tall. Yeah, they, we tall, we tall. Anyway, um, so you know, and I told you I go in there, and they had this giant moonface scale, and I remember stepping on it, and I'm looking underneath it, trying to Fig, where do you put the coin? Where do you put that damn coin? And there's no place for it now, so I'm looking at the face; it's got like, I said, giant moon face with all these different things like uh, I, I can't remember; it's not just your weight; it's it's like what do you call it, zodiac stuff, and this big guy walks up to me, and he's wearing, and he was tall, well, I was a kid, so I was pretty short; it's at 13, and uh, he walks up to me, and I turned and looked at him, and he's got um, he's got a, a, a kilt on, he's got a sporran, he's got his tam o' shanter, he's got a uh, again, I forget the word, the vest. Vest. U, in Britain, you don't call it a vest; you call it a um, it goes under your jacket. Yeah, I call, well, we call it a vest here in America, but over there they call it something else. I forgot; I said it twice earlier, and um, and he had a tweed jacket on with corduroy um, patches, and I've just is ingrained in my [ __ ] head; I will never forget him. Big [ __ ] white sideburns going all the way right here to his gels, and he starts explaining something to me in a very thick Scottish accent. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I absolutely, I agree. I absolutely, I agree with yes, thank you. But I looked at him, and I went, oh, I'm I'm wearing a, a tweed jacket, jacket and corduroy pants, and I'm very pale, I'm very pale and brownish, gingery hair, so I'm like, he thinks I'm Scottish, so he's speaking Scottish to me, the the Scottish version of Gaelic, so I'm like, oh, and I just said, oh, I'm sorry, sir, I only speak English, and he leaned all the way down to my face, and he says, that was English, lady, and then he killed you. I wish, cuz I died back. I was so horrified because everybody in that bathroom began laughing, and it was all that stone work; it was echoes of laughter, and it was like a nightmare for me, and I walked out backwards, terrified. You know, to be fair, I, I come from Edinburgh, and I find it hard to understand people from Glasgow, so Glgs got, they're very thick up there with that accent; it's pretty rough accent, some of it, but he, my bud from there, but he doesn't sound like your average Glaswegian; he sounds more like a Highlander that was visiting for the day. Yeah, it's very thick accent. There's not many people walking around in a kilt normally in Scotland; I have to say it's it's a bit of a, an illusion if they're if they're playing the pipes in Princes Street in Edinburgh for the tourist money. Yes, maybe, but yeah. Now, Monkey Jeus makes the joke, uh, gay lick, uh, my favorite Irish joke is uh, do you, um, do you know what they call an Irishman that loves his wife more than, more than his queer? It hurts. I hate you. I'm suffering with you. Shutki, you're not alone. Yeah, to die at this point. I'll end on one, another classic Irish joke, uh, where the son gets up to with his mother telling everybody at the funeral how, how his father died, that he died of Gara, and he's like, Mother, why are you telling him that? Well, you know, farewell, that father died of G, diarrhea, not gonorrhea, and she says, well, son, I want everyone to think he died the man he wasn't, and the little [ __ ] he was. Oh, oh God. You know how to confuse an Irishman, don't you? Oh well, throw show him three shovels and to take's pick. So, so, question in Scotland is there just a guy who's wandering around angry, just constantly yelling McCloud? There are a few; it's not just [Laughter] [Laughter] one. I think it's time to end the show before we P off. We've reached the end; it is time for um, Bill to end the show, so I will thank, wants to see a sexy kilt guy? I'll just put mine on for the show. Yeah, you'll just do it and dance around. What, I, I was like, what happened? I'm getting ready to thank everybody: Andy Marl, Dragon ruse, Lord th, Kingsport, Cal ZX, just another red shirt, be seeing you, uh, Decepticon, Cave of Comics, Monkey Jeus, Lady V, Peter R, my fan site, Willie The Monkey King, uh, Jim Watari, Squeak a Mouse, Gingas, Conan, and that is it. Thank you guys for being here; it was a fun show. Thanks for being here, Brian. Bye guys. My pleasure. Pleasure. Bye, those sons of [ __ ] Ma. I'm doing a show. [Music]