Transcription
I'll go to the bad place with real Eleanor, and you three can stay. Yes, we get to stay, baby, we did it. Wait, no, you're not going. I am. What? Why? Real Eleanor is my soulmate, or was my soulmate, and she's only going down there because she thinks that I don't love her. Do you? I don't know. Please don't ask me that, my stomach hurts. The point is, if she's going down there because of me, I'll never be at peace. Yes, we get to stay, baby, we did it. No, dude, this is bonkers. I am going, going, end of story. No, I'm going, end of everything. What? Now you're trying to replace Chey? No, I'm going to replace real Elena. Chitty and I are going to go together, which means that you and real Elena and Jason can stay. Yes, we get to stay, baby, we did it.
Look, I love you, and I think you love me. We can be together away from everyone else. Obviously, we'll be miserable, but I truly believe our love will make us happy. Okay, you realize the bad place is not some sort of Couple's Retreat, right? If it is, Janet and I would like to go. I am going, and real Eleanor is going. No, I'm going with real Eleanor. No, I'm going with Kitty. Me and Jen are staying, just FYI. Oh, that's enough out of you, robot lover. Hey, that's racist. Not a robot. Oh, you have some nerve. Holy mother forking shirt balls. What? Wow. Okay, okay. Woo. Yo, Mikey, Sean, come on out. Is everything okay? Right? Is rain Mikey my boy? So Chey and I are going to go to the bad place. What? Trust me, I've got this. That's our decision. Let's hit it. What about real Ele? No, it's me and Chey. Call the train. Point of order, I don't accept this offer. The real mistakes were Jason and El G. You said any two of us. It's me and Chey. Let's do it to it, Michael. I just found an obscure precedent in the rules that might just save everyone. Buzz off, Boma John, don't need it. Oh, okay. Ready when you are, boss. Eleanor? What's going on?
It took me a while to figure it out, but just now, as we were all fighting and yelling at each other, and each one of us demanding we should go to the bad place, I thought to myself, man, this is torture. And then it hit me: they're never going to call a train to take us to the bad place. They can't, because we're already here. This is the bad place. [Music] [Laughter] Oh man, I can't believe you figured it out. Oh God, you, you ruined everything. You know that, babe? There you are. I've been--let me stop you. Can I? I guess you've been worried sick about me. I'm headed to the gym. Sure, why not? I'm quite confused. Let me explain, gorgeous. I don't--I know what this place is, but it is certainly not the good place. Michael is forking with us. Michael, what do we do here? I don't know. Apparently, the bad place knows that one of you actually belongs down there with them, and they want that person to get inside the Obelisk, or they're going to take all of you. I can't go. I'm too young to die and too old to eat off the kids' menu. What a stupid age I am. I'd never survive down there. They should takea--she's a pear shape, she'd fit right in. Oh, excuse me. You wish you could have a bite of this pear? I'll go. I deserve to go. You guys--you're--I have--why should--do--holy forking shirt! You guys don't you get it? Michael is torturing us. That's why our lives have been so miserable since the moment we got here. This isn't the good place; it's the bad place. A farts my love, my sweet do drop. I have written you a three-hour spoken word jazz opera. Cool, Eleanor. Less and more. Who's it for? For you, my do drop creamer, the crop top to the B to the B to the top. Okay, no, no, no version of Heaven for anyone would ever include three hours of this. We're in the bad place, aren't we? Damn it. That was a real trip for biscuit, and now we're all wet, Daddyo. I never even got to play my stupid triangle. Attempt 57. Attempt 99. Attempt 108. I've analyzed some recent data. Elanor always seems to realize that they are in the bad place just at the moment. Excuse me, sorry, the door was open, so I just came in. Did you just say I'm in the bad place? Attempt 109. I've closed and locked the door. Yep, and we're ready to go. Hang on, wait a minute. You know what? Holy smokes! This is the bad place. This is the bad place. This is the bad place. This is the bad place. The pig's getting angry. This is the bad place. Be be be. Oh oh. This is the bad place. I mean, why even bother at this point? I'm obviously never going to get it right. I'm Eleanor. I'm so smart. I'm actually in the bad place. Sea still thinks I'm on version two. I just keep lying to him. It's really bad, but I, I mean, I have to keep trying. I'm in too deep, and I'm really fat right now. I'm stress eating, and I'm gaining weight in my thighs. I mean, look at that. So sorry. Who are you, and where am I? It doesn't matter. This one doesn't even count. You simply count. Expect Jitty to decide whether homies check it. Is there something messed up with this place? We keep fighting with each other. None of the TVs get the NFL Red Zone Channel. My soulmate doesn't even know who Blake Bortles is. I know this sounds crazy, but I think we're in the bad place. Jason figured it out. Jason? This is a reload point. Yeah, this one hurts. Ow. Where is everyone? Who knows? Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting cuz it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it. Is someone smoking a cigar? Michael really screwed this up. The regular bad place was fine. If the foreheaded flying Bears ain't broke, don't fix them. What was wrong with impaling? I loved impaling. Hey, Todd, got a light? Uh, yeah, obviously I have a light. You know you guys aren't supposed to be smoking. You're supposed to keep your human suit on. Those suits are really itchy for us. Who even cares if they see us? They're just going to get rebooted anyway. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is the bad place. I fcking knew it. And clam chowder is disgusting. It's just hot ocean milk with dead animal croutons. Well, what do we do? Panic? Freak? I usually panic, but I am happy to freak. Don't you get it? They're torturing you. They're torturing all of us because this is the bad place. [Music] [Laughter] Oh man, I can't believe you figured it out. Wait, he's right. This is the bad place. Yeah. Damn it, he's right. Yeah, we had a good run though, didn't we? Yeah, we did. So no best place. Oh no, no best a big white O. Never change, bud. E