Transcription
Life is suffering, right? Indisputable. What do you do about that? You voluntarily accept it and then strive to overcome the suffering that's a consequence of that. And you do that for you, and you do that in a way that makes it better for other people. And then that works.
And one question might be, well, how well does it work? And the answer is, you'll the only way that you can find out is by trying it. That's it. That's the existential element of it. The proof is to be derived by the incarnation of the attitude in your own life. No one can tell you how it will work for you. It's the thing that your destiny is to discover that, and you have to make you have to make the decisions to begin with. It's like because you can't do this without commitment. You have to commit to it first. That's the act of faith that that Kierkegaard was so insistent upon. You have to say, "I'm going to act as if being is good. I'm going to act as if truth is the pathway to enlightenment. I'm going to act as if I should pursue the deepest meaning possible in my life." And there's there's reasons to do none of those. They're real reasons. So, it's really a decision, but you you can't find out what the consequence of the decision is unless you make the decision.
I think the same thing happens when you get married, by the way. That if you think you might leave, you're not married. And then you think, well, the marriage didn't succeed. It's like, well, maybe you were never married because the rule is you don't get to leave. And there's a reason for that rule. Now, I'm not saying that there aren't situations where there should be exceptions made for that. That's not the point. The point is that there's some games you don't get to play unless you're all in. And the other thing that's so interesting about being alive is that you're all in. No matter what you do, you're all in. This is gonna kill you. So, I think you might as well play the most magnificent game you can while you're waiting because do you have anything better to do? Really? Why not pick the best thing possible that you could do? Why not do that? Maybe you could justify your wretched existence to yourself that way. I think you could.
That's what it looks like. You know, people find such meaning in the responsibilities they adopt, it stops making them ask questions about what life is for. If you have a newborn child, for example, like unless you're really in a bad way, psychotically depressed, or or maybe your personality really needs some retooling, you stop thinking about anything but ensuring that that baby is doing well. And if someone comes along and asks you an existential question about your commitment to that, the right response is, "Why are you asking me such stupid questions?" When when the when this this is manifesting itself right in front of your eyes, like how blind can you be? That isn't a time for for questions about the meaning of life, the answer is right in front of you. And if you can't see it, it's not because life has no meaning. It's because you're blind. I mean, that's what the image of of of the Virgin Mother and the child is all about. It's like, what's the answer to the meaning of life? Here's an answer. It's like, well, I'm going to criticize that. Well, go right ahead. You know, it's like it's like what what you're you're like a you're like a what do you call that? A termite gnawing on a temple. There's no there's no utility in that sort of criticism. You're it's blindness. And it's the same thing with regards to the path of the hero. It's like it glistens in front of you and you can criticize it. It's like fine, put the cart before the horse and and see how far you get.
So I thought to bring full closure to the class, I was trying to solve this terrible puzzle that confronted me for and many other people about how it was that human beings got themselves in such a tangle about what they believed. Such a tangle that we were pointing the ultimate weapons of destruction at one another, which by the way we are still doing. And I thought, okay, well, I understand that we need our belief systems, they orient us, and that means there will be conflict between belief systems, and that can be a catastrophe, and that's being played out everywhere again in very many ways. What's the solution to that? Well, one possibility is there's no solution. It's just mayhem all the way around. Could be the case. But it seemed to me as I delved into it that the proper solution to that was to live properly as an individual. Because you're more powerful than you think. Way more powerful than you think. I mean, God only knows what you are in the final analysis. You're blind to your own weaknesses, but you're also blind to your own strengths. And so then I think, well, if you got your act together, it'd be better for you. And instantly it would be better for your family, assuming they wanted you to get your act together. And not everyone does, but and then it would be better for the community. It's like, how far could you take that? If you stopped wasting time and if you stopped lying and if you oriented yourself to to the highest possible good that you could conceive of and you committed to that, how much good could you do? Well, I would say, why don't you find out?
So, that's what I think you should do. You should find out. You don't have anything better to do. And there's nothing in it. As far as I've been able to tell, there's nothing in it but good. So maybe you could sort yourself out so that you wanted nothing but the good and and then maybe you could help make that manifest in the world and maybe we wouldn't have all these terrible problems then. At least we'd have fewer of them and that would be a start. So it's the it's the the answer to the problem of humanity is the is the is the integrity of the individual. That's the answer. So and states that are predicated on that realization are healthy. So and states that aren't are doomed to stagnation and catastrophic collapse. and personalities that are predicated on self-tyranny and the tyranny of others are doomed and doomed to collapse.
So, and then you think, well, what's the barrier? And the barrier is, are you willing to accept the responsibility? And part of the answer to that is reduce the damn responsibility until it's tolerable. You don't have to fix everything at once. You could just start by fixing the things that you could fix. Or you could even do it more. You could do it with even less self-sacrifice. You could start by fixing only the things that you want to fix. God, you can get a massive way that way. So do it. See what happens. That's what you should have been taught in university right from the beginning. It's like aim at the highest good. Tool yourself into something that can attain it and go out there and manifest it in the world. And everything that everything that comes your way will be everything that comes your way will be a blessing. And so all you have to do is give up your resentment and your hatred. I know that's a hard thing to give up because you have plenty of reason for it.
One of the advantages to telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said, and that God, that's worth listening to because so there's a bunch of things I've learned as a clinician, and one of them is because you're often in really weird situations with people if you're a clinician because things happen that don't happen normally and you don't know what to do. And so what I've learned is I just say what I just say what's happening, whatever it is, regardless of what it is, you know, I'll just try to describe it as accurately as I can and not worry about, in some sense, not worry about the consequences. You know, like I'm not going out of my way to cause trouble, but if you're in a really, and I'm telling you, this can save your life at times, especially if you're dealing with someone who's paranoid, who's really paranoid. You do not lie to someone who's paranoid and violent because as soon as you lie, you're aligned with the forces that are persecuting them, and they're going to be w because paranoia makes people hypervigilant, like they're on amphetamines. In fact, you can make pe people paranoid by giving them enough amphetamines. And you can make paranoid people more paranoid by giving them amphetamines. So, they're hypervigilant because they feel that everything is predatory and against them. And so, they're watching you like you would not believe, way more than you're watching them. And if you flicker a lie while you're talking to them and they're really on the edge, you you're done. So, it's what it's one thing to really know if you're ever in a really bad situation and you don't know what to do. You tell the truth minimally. You don't disclose too much. That's just another lie. You tell the truth minimally and carefully and hopefully, and you might get out of it. You might get out of it. But if you falsify it, look the hell out. So the truth is a real is a real mechanism of protection in dangerous situations, you know.
So if someone's trying to intimidate you and you you think they might get violent and they ask you if you're afraid, then you tell them that you're terrified and that you hope that things will go okay. Or you say, I'll give you an example. One time I was in an airport and uh we were in this lineup to fly back to Canada that said international flights. And so it's a long lineup, like 50 people. And we got I got about three from the front. There was still like 40 people behind me. And the guy behind the counter decided that he was just going to shut down the line and that we could all go to this other line which was like 300 people long. and I suggested that he not do that because we'd been standing there for half an hour and that he could just deal with the 20 of us that were left and and like have a clue. So he called the sheriff right away. And this was down in Florida and it wasn't that long after 9/11. And so these guys came up and they were armed and they came and looked at me because of course he told them that I was causing trouble, which I wasn't. I was just trying to not let what would you say an arrogant bureaucratic scum rat take advantage of me. So which is not the same as causing trouble. So anyways as soon as the cops came up I said look I'm going to do exactly what you tell me to do right now and I'm not going to cause any trouble but I would like you to hear what actually happened. And so that that's a good example of a situation like that. It's like if someone's got you no brava bravado. It's a very bad idea and I was going to do exactly what they told me because you know they didn't know who I was and I didn't know what they had been told. So anyhow the problem with lying is that it's a hydra and kids find this out very early because you tell one lie and what happens is it has one of the consequences that you expect. Maybe you get away with it, but it has three or four others that you don't expect. And so it's like it grows some some complexity. Then you have to tack a lie on each of those little complexity outcrops. And then they grow three more complexities. And soon this little lie turns into a great big ball of lies. And at some point it becomes painfully evident to everyone. And by that time you're in such you see this with politicians like that guy who was sexing. Um >> Anthony. >> Anthony Weiner. Yeah. Perfect name for him, man. It's so funny. Uh I I shouldn't make that comment because it's so obvious, but it's still funny. But you know, he that's exactly what happened to him. It's like it wasn't even so much the event because, you know, people are stupid. They make mistakes. And actually, the public is somewhat forgiving if you say, "Yeah, geez, I'm a real moron." And you know, like really, seriously, how could I do that? But I did. And like I'll try not to do it again. But what happens with politicians is and and I'm not speaking specifically of politicians is they'll make an error and it gets exposed and then they make three others trying to cover it up. It happened with Nixon for example and then the whole thing just turns into a complete scandal and maybe they could have got out of it at the beginning by just telling the truth. It's like yes I'm an idiot you know I'll try not to do it again. Well, that isn't what happens in this case. And Pinocchio grows this elaborate series of lies. And the fairy is willing to be a little generous to him because he's little and cute and he's still a puppet. And she tells him not to do that and that she's going to give him a pass this time, but that she isn't going to be able to intervene on his behalf again. And that's partly one of the things that's quite interesting about people who have Rousseauian ideas about children. So children are all good and they get corrupted by society, which is half true because they're also not good and they get shaped and and disciplined by society. But the the Rousseauian types often are very interesting when their kids hit teenage years or when they're judging like say criminal teenagers. It's like the child is perfect until they hit like 11, then they turn into a teenager and then they're like thugs. So they go from good to thug in one move, you know, and and you often see that in families too that have treated especially their daughters like a princess, you know, and then they hit puberty and and the parents who have princessed them to death have no idea what to do with them. And so then they become demonized. And so the the overly good child turns into the overly wicked teenager. And sometimes they'll act that out, too. One of the things I've seen with girls who are held in princess esteem when they're little and their parents have too tight a grip on them and too much of a demand for good behaviors, they'll find some nasty character to associate with who will tear them out of the family. You know, bikers are really good for that sort of thing. So, and especially if you have some vengeful thoughts towards your parents, nice biker is your perfect solution to that problem.
Okay, we'll go through this scene and then I think we'll call it a day. Okay, so now Pinocchio's gone free. He's been united with his conscience. He's learned a couple of lessons. Don't be an actor and don't lie. And those things are quite similar, right? And especially once you're caught in your actor trap, don't lie to get out because that will just make it worse. So that's the first of his trials, his moral trials on the road to becoming real. All right. Now, now here we're in a different place. We're at this I think it's called the Red Lobster Inn. And it's a shadowy place, right? And it's kind of cave-like. So it's like the it's it's an underground entrance to somewhere that's not good. And so and it's a foggy night and you can't really see. So everything's murky and and gloomy there. And so inside we see the coachman and the fox and the and the cat. And the coachman the coachman's a bad guy. He's that mask that we saw first of all. He's the archetype of that mask that was judgmental about Pinocchio having a voice. And it's like one of the things Jung said about the shadow, and this is I would say one of the primary impediments to enlightenment is that if you start looking at your motives for for misbehaving and and and I mean by that something very specific. I mean I don't mean that you're misbehaving by someone else's standards. I don't mean that. I mean when you know by your own standards that you're doing something that's devious or malevolent or underhanded. You know it and you still do it. So, it's your own judgment you're bringing to bear on yourself. If you look at why you're doing that, the longer you look at it, the deeper a hole you dig. And so, this is the motif of Dante's Inferno fundamentally. So, Dante's Inferno is a story about um I can't remember his name unfortunately. Might be Dante in fact, although I don't remember. He's led into hell by Virgil, who's a who's an ancient who is an ancient uh philosopher thinker. And hell has levels. And so the outer level is and this is a Christianized version of hell uh because there's hells of all sorts, but this is a Christianized version. And so the on the outermost levels of hell, which is sort of like normal life, are the ancient philosophers. and they're still in hell because they weren't Christian, but it's kind of like it's like cheap motel hell instead of the full pit thing, you know? And so then Dante goes deeper and deeper into hell until he gets right to the bottom of it. And I it's been a while since I read it, but if I remember correctly, Satan himself is encased in ice at the bottom of hell, surrounded by people who betray others. And so Dante's notion was that the worst of all possible violations of moral behavior was betrayal, and that they're in the deepest levels of hell. And I I really like that idea. I think it's true because if you trust me, then you're manifesting the necessary courage that puts someone through life. You know, if you're smart, you don't trust me because you're naive. You trust me knowing that I'm full of snakes and so are you. But maybe we could cooperate and move things along nicely, you know, and we could reduce each other to the word, to our word, and we could cooperate. But you're awake, you know, and then I betray that, then I'm undermining your necessary faith in in life and humanity. And you can really hurt someone that way. Like sometimes it's self-betrayal, but you can really do someone in that way. can really traumatize them. They can so that they can't recover and so it's a really terrible thing to do to someone and maybe it's the worst thing and that was Dante's idea and it's tied in that makes very interesting reading if you read it at the same time as Milton's Paradise Lost because those are metaphysical explorations. This is what they are. They're metaphysical explorations of the terrible places you can end up and that people do end up and also a metaphysical explanation of what spirit takes you there.
So because you might ask, well, why do you betray someone? And that is a deep question. And so you'll have your specific reasons, but under that there'll be some other reasons. And under that there'll be some other reasons. And under that there'll be some other reasons. And if you go all the way to the bottom, you come up with the ultimate reasons why you betrayed someone. And when you look at that, that will not be pretty. That's when your proclivity for evil, let's say, unites with the general human proclivity for evil. and you discover just exactly what you're capable of. And so Jung's notion was that well that was a full encounter with the shadow, which is I suppose partly what this course is about because one of the things that I believe I told you at the beginning was that I was going to try to help you understand how it might be that you could be an Auschwitz guard. And to really understand that, that's a horrifying thing to understand. But I'll tell you, if you want to grow some teeth, that's a really good thing to understand.
So, we were talking about your capacity to negotiate before. Like, if you aren't a monster, you cannot negotiate. But if you if you've got that under control, then you don't have to be a monster. It's really paradoxical. So if you're just naive, well, you end up in jail and a marionette master has control over you. That's not helpful. So that's not good. That just means you're useless and you can be manipulated. You won't go out of your way to be malevolent. But it's mostly because you just don't have the skills, the organizational skills or or even the depth to do that. You know, you're good because you're harmless. That's that's not good. That's easily manipulated. And so you think, well, how do you get out of that? Well, partly you watch people because you know what they're like because you know what you're like and that but you also know what you could do and would do if you were pushed. And so you don't have to show much of that when you're negotiating with someone for them to take you really seriously. So it's a strange thing, you know, but one of the things Jung pointed out too was that what you most need to know will be found where you least want to look. And that's because you haven't already looked there. And so it's a little different for everyone, right? Because your particular place you don't want to look isn't going to be the same as your place. But you're going to have a place you don't want to look and what you haven't discovered. That's where it is. And so that's off partly going to be discovered by you looking at what you're capable of, what you're truly capable of. And you know, people, especially on the compassionate end, think, well, no, I could never be like brutal like that. And that could be true, but you can kill people with compassion. No problem. It h that's the the Freudian and edible situation.
So think about working in a nursing home. So there's actually a rule of thumb which I also use to guide my interactions with children and also with my clients and I would say with people in general: do not do anything for anyone that they can do themselves. All you do is steal, you just steal it from them. So imagine you're working with really elderly people. You know they have Alzheimer's. It's like really easy to do things for them because well, it isn't because it's really a hard job, but it might be easier to do something for them than to let them struggle through it. But you just speed their demise right by taking away the last vestiges of their independence and you do the same thing with kids. It's like struggle through it, man.