Transcription
[Music] Hey, hey, hey, daddy. Hey, hey, hey, daddy. Hey, hey, hey, daddy. Hey, hey, hey, daddy.
Hi, guys. It's your girl Beatus. It's Tammy, and it's Sharon. And welcome back to another episode of the Uncut Podcast. Woo!
Guys, as you can tell with me singing that particular song, we have just come back. Well, it's the day after the Usher concert, and um, yeah, we had a time.
Yeah, I'm so happy. Like I think for me, I'm a massive R&B head. So like seeing him—and I'm deep in—I actually haven't seen him before.
Yeah. Like even though obviously I play his music constantly, but I haven't seen him perform. He's someone that doesn't tour like, yeah, often. Like the fact that he hasn't been to the UK and done a concert in 10 years speaks volumes.
Exactly.
Exactly. And was he allowed?
Yeah. He's always been allowed. He was in Europe recently. Like two years ago he was in Paris.
Yeah. He did Paris. He did a Paris residency. He just didn't come to the UK. So that's why everybody was like, "Oh, do you hate the UK?" And then that's when he now came and did. But you know how you can still vote, like for example, Chris Brown obviously would always go down. So like I don't know whether there was—Chris was going to—dam at that time because he couldn't come to the—
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I wasn't sure. Even though you're saying Usher went to a place in Europe, I wasn't sure whether maybe he also had something that actually stopped him from coming to the UK.
No, but I'm saying like I think, period, he just wasn't touring. I don't I don't I don't recall 5 years ago. How many years ago, saying that him being like, "Oh, I'm going on tour." Something like that. Like correct me if I'm wrong, but I just don't—I haven't heard of him doing like a world tour.
Cuz you know some artists they'll be putting out albums and then they'll go on tour. That just doesn't match the album.
So true. So I just haven't really seen him do that until he went to Paris that time.
Yeah, very, very true. Um, but yeah, it was really, really good seeing him. I feel like overall, my initial reflections—I go and ask the girls—like my initial reflections is that he covered everything that he needed to cover.
I think I genuinely think so. I don't know what it was, but I was looking on Twitter beforehand, and I can't lie to you guys before the concert I wasn't really feeling it, you know? Like I was tired, and also like I just didn't hear anything like crazy like, "Oh my god, this was amazing, like 10 out of 10." I was basically seeing people comment like, "Oh, the set list is a bit weird, like I don't really understand the set list."
Um, but no, for me, he played all the bangers. The ones that people know like all the lyrics to, but also the ones that you wouldn't expect him—like when he said, "Yeah," when he sang "Little Freak," cuz on the way—on the way to the concert, I was playing his music in my car and then—not that "Little Freak" came up, but I was just thinking like, okay, all of these are like the songs that everybody knows. "Little Freak" is a big song as well, but I don't know whether it was big in the UK.
Yeah, I didn't think it was.
And I was like, I re—I love that song. The way Nikki as well came—Hey. Hey. So, and I was like, okay, I don't know whether he would perform that song because of the T, bro. When he started performing, I was like, "Nah, he's every song." It was so good. It was so, so good.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah. And I was going to say on TikTok, cuz obviously a lot of like people's reviews of the show going, and people were not giving it like a good rating. I'm like, I don't really understand. Like I think some of—some people's um, problems with the show is that they had—was that you know, normally when you go to the O2, obviously the O2 is so big, so really and truly you need screens to actually show what is going on, and they felt that some of the stuff—it was like, you know, if you were level four, I don't know what you would have been seeing.
Yeah, because you know what it's like—normally you have the graphic—all the graphic stuff in the middle, but then you normally have a screen there and a screen there just following him around and doing whatever he wants to do. But he didn't have those screens at all. He just had the one in the middle, like, and then I think that's what people felt—a little bit disconnected.
It's a very valid point.
I know, because even the time where he was dancing to—um, what song was it? "You Got It Bad." No, it was—it's an up—uptempo song, and he was dancing like coming out from the—from the left-hand side and and dancing. Unless you were directly—you wouldn't be able to—like that would—that would be something that some people would want to see, and if you can't—if it's not on the screen, then you're not going to see what is going on. So yeah, I think that's—I think that's the only thing that I would say that I wish he had more screens to actually see what he was doing. But for me, was still 10 out of 10.
Yeah, it was really, really good. And you're right actually, because even like when you see an artist like interact with a girl, you know, like for example, when you're like, you know, girls like dancing next to you and all that, you will see that interaction; you will feel like, okay, this is a performance, because especially with Usher where like he does a lot of like moves and dancing and stuff, like obviously he's not always going to be singing 24/7. So sometimes like he will be dancing whilst the backing track is going, and it's like you need to see like his face, see him do the moves to really feel like immersed into the whole performance.
Um, but it was funny cuz as he was performing, like all I kept thinking about was Chris Brown.
Yeah. Me too, actually.
Yeah. I don't know why—all I kept thinking about was Chris Brown, and I was like—again, you're probably right, the screen thing probably does help the Chris Brown experience feel more immersive because I felt like definitely with Chris Brown—again, it could be—actually, to be fair, I loved them both, but like I just felt like with Chris Brown, even though he had a lot of dancing, but with the dancing, I didn't feel detached; like I still very much felt like this was a performance, and I'm in the song, I'm singing the lyrics, and I'm seeing him perform to the lyrics, whereas when you don't hear his voice, you just see Usher dancing like you said from far away, and maybe the camera is not picking up exactly what he needs to pick up. You feel a bit detached at certain moments, and you know one thing that Tammy was saying that was so funny. So Tammy came in maybe just like—she just missed the beginning part where it was "Hey, daddy," and she made a comment like, "Oh, I'll go to the toilet when they do AI." That's all Tammy said, and then literally like a couple of minutes later, it was a whole AI segment—like, "Artist, let's relax with this AI. We understand you want to make something look cool and look something—make something look futuristic, but all this AI back and forth, back and forth."
Okay, Sharon, you go cuz you want to speak.
Yeah, I was going to say like that's another thing that I would have said, the screen thing definitely—I noticed that like immediately, and maybe it's cuz I wasn't wearing my glasses, so maybe I was thinking like extra detached, you know? Um, but then the other thing I would say is that I feel like there were too many breaks, like, and I get that obviously that you need to have a break because the artist needs to go and change or they need water, they need whatever, but I feel like you could have filled the gap with something else. And I understood it because he was trying to obviously do the whole journey of his music and his life and stuff, but like it just—it was—I—I don't know. It was just too much, man.
Really, I—I felt like the breaks were fine. But I think you're right in terms of like maybe it doesn't just have to be screen like as in like it could be also like having someone come up on stage or could be done.
Yeah.
Yeah. Like that's what I'm saying. Breaks are fine, but I just feel like what he was using the break—like what he was filling the break with, it wasn't that engaging. Do you know what I mean? And then I just finish. Sorry. I found that like usually when I go to like uh, concerts and we sit, we have seats, nobody's sitting down, but then I find that like sometimes in the breaks, people would use that as an opportunity to sit down or like they'll be talking and stuff. So, I don't feel like it was that engaging. But what I did love is like the fact that he used that like stage that was just in front of us. I've never seen that before, like where people are like—where you can buy a ticket to be there, and then they have—I've never seen that. I thought that was really cool.
Yeah.
What I would say is that I feel like if Usher was touring within the 10 years and had been coming to the UK, you would know.
No, no, no, not even that. This concert, like people would say that it was really good; like they wouldn't have all these reservations. It's the fact that you haven't been here in so long, and now you're—now using it to—now do, "Oh, my year—my years of music," blah, blah, blah, when people just want to—like we just want to sit down and see—and see you sing, see you dance—like this break.
Um, baby Usher. Um, teen Usher. The song for me was too funny. I actually was listening to it.
Y'all ain't putting on your—
No, it is. It is cool. I liked it, but it wasn't the right amount. And maybe even sometimes, like you said, like the screen—even what they're showing—like the sound—like it wasn't—I felt like maybe—again, it could be where we were sitting, but I just felt detached a little bit. I don't know. I feel like it was maybe just a bit too much, cuz even with Chris Brown, like he did that same sort of concept—obviously not with necessarily like the—but the thing with the two—2004—the timeline thing. He had the exact same concept, but I feel like the way it was done, it was different.
Jenz, yeah, it was more like too long.
Yeah. And like going back and forth about girl, and that's what I think. I think—I think that's what it is. I think because at the end of the day, Usher is a grown man. Like—is he not in his 40s—late 40s or 50s?
Like I think he's like late 40s.
Yeah, late 40s. So he's a seasoned—he's a seasoned uh, artist. So he—I think he just wants people to—46—he wants people to—even then in the show there was a point where he was like, "You need to—I've been here for 30 years; like you need to put respect on my name." So I think that's why he was taking us through the journey and stuff like that. Like I get it. But I think if you had—if you were an artist like Beyoncé that comes every two to three years—
Yeah. We can—we can do the interludes. We can have all the stuff.
Yeah. Because we know that you probably be back in the next two years. We don't know whether we're going to see you again.
Yeah. So the time that you're using to be changing and doing AI, can you come and perform another song, please?
Yeah, literally. But he has so many bangers.
Wow. So many bangers. And yeah, like I said before, like some of the song choices, I was like, "Wow, I didn't actually think he was going to pick—do it, right?"
Yeah. Even the—like some of the features. So he did "Party" and—
Oh, yeah. "New Flame."
Oh my god. "New Flame."
Ah, too good. Too good. Too good. And Craig David. That was a nice surprise.
Yes. Craig David.
And Craig David sounded amazing.
Yeah, he sounded so good. Anyway, let me shut up. Oh, I was going to say something, but I wasn't sure if I was 100% correct. Let me just say that. But even uh, Usher as well sounded—sounded really good as well. So, man, it was just a good—good um, concept. Nostalgia. Everyone says nostalgia—like in those type of—
No, it definitely was because even though he performed—I think he performed a few new—newish, but he actually did a lot of—but he did a lot of the old same. I actually thought that maybe cuz you know when he first did a bit of like an old set, I thought maybe that was—that was actually going to be it from the old stuff, but he went—went back—I said, "Yeah, just—yeah," and he did "Pop Your Color." He hasn't been doing it on the other shows. That was the first time he did it. So—so good. I still can't get over the fact that—that it was only released in Europe, right?
Europe.
Like, no Americans know that song. That's crazy.
Crazy. My god. Um, but anyway, yeah, that was the basically what happened um, at Usher. Um, before we go into the dilemma, guys, as usual, you know, you know, we like to give the announcements. So, if you guys are watching, please, for the love of God, hit that subscribe button now. We are on the road to 100K, guys. I wanted to celebrate this 100K—long—long, and now it's still here. But it's fine. It's not too late. Some of you guys, you've been commenting, "Oh my god, I've been watching, and I didn't realize I was subscribed. I wasn't subscribed." Change that today and make sure you hit the subscribe button. If you guys are listening on an audio platform, whether that be Spotify, whether that be Apple podcast, whether that be Amazon, make sure you guys click follow and follow us so that you can be notified whenever we post. And we tend to post on Mondays. And also, we post a little something for you guys as well on Wednesdays. But if you want to see more on Wednesdays, we also drop an episode on Patreon. And that is £3.99 a month. It's not too much, guys. Show some love. And also, it is summer, so there's a load of stuff for you to guys catch up on. Keep it in the background. Me, I started to listen to podcasts again at work. I've been really enjoying that. So make sure you guys also head on to Patreon to add to that bank list of episodes to listen to.
Um, cool. That's basically all the announcements. And let's just jump straight into the dilemma this week. Again, when I started reading this dilemma, I think I was on the phone to you.
Yeah.
Yeah. Um, I just saw one line. I—I don't really scan dilemmas like that anymore, but I just see one line. I said, "That's the one I'm picking. It's you that's getting on this thing."
Um, so that's what we're going to go with today. So am I the [ __ ] for wanting to cut off a friend? Because after everything I've witnessed, I genuinely don't see how I wouldn't be. Let me give you the low down. I had this friend, let's call her Ex. She was a—She was fiercely private about her relationships. Like ridiculously private. If you asked her if she was dating anyone, she would laugh it off with something like, "It's not that deep," or, "We're just talking." For years and years. We've respected her privacy. We figured, hey, some people just like to keep things lowkey, right? But then a pattern started to emerge that we couldn't ignore. Every guy she wasn't dating, but definitely was, would somehow vanish off of the face of the earth. Hey, poof. Cutting off all of his friends, including us. We didn't think too much of it at first. Just assumed it was a coincidence, maybe. But then one day, one of these so-called guys, let's call him Y, finally told us the truth. Ex had taken him to the side and convinced him to cut everyone off, his friends, his family, and us. She made him believe that their relationship had to be an ultra-secret thing—special only to them. Meanwhile, she was juggling multiple guys at the same time. She juggler. And when she was done with them, um, she would simply ghost uh, the guys and send them a long, cold house voice note explaining all the reasons why they could never be together. The worst part, our friend Y has been hung up on her for over a whole year. And honestly, I get it. She was—she's a very, very beautiful girl. She's very charming. And she has this way of making a person feel like they're the only one in the world until they aren't. So now I'm here stuck in this tug of war. How could I not—how could I not cut her off after this? After all the emotional manipulation and the secret games, the way she treats people like disposable toys. It's toxic. Am I being too harsh? Is it my place to even call her out? Or am I just another sucker falling for her charm?
Now, do you get the general gist of this dilemma?
I'm trying to understand what the problem is.
So the problem is this friend that she has is somebody that is like—my relationship isn't like a topic of conversation amongst friends, right? But she has now found herself in a situation where she's dated a group of someone who is part of the group.
Got you.
But now obviously they started to realize—they saw a pattern before, but they thought it was a one-off. But now they've realized that this friend is actually very emotionally manipulative with whoever she dates.
Yeah.
And she basically tells them to cut off their friends and family—that it's just about them. And basically it's like, "Okay, cool. How can I actually be your friend? Even though I'm not in a relationship with you, but how can I be your friend when I know that you are actually a terrible person when it comes to dating others?" And I feel like this dilemma—when I read this—obviously this is—this is even different, and it feels foreign to hear it because it's a girl, but very much we know damn right that if I switch the girl gender to a guy, this is ordinary stuff that happens 24/7 in the sense that guys will—to their friends—not really discuss what's going on in their dating life. Meanwhile, they have so many girls crying.
Yeah.
Wanting to commit—sometimes—to doing whatever with these girls, and obviously their friends are either none the wiser or they just choose to be oblivious to it.
Yeah.
Um, so I guess this—obviously the question she's asking is—is she being harsh for now deciding to end a friendship with somebody because of how badly they treat the people that they date?
You think that's fair?
Yeah.
Expand.
Well, it's fair because you don't appreciate that about her character. And like if that's—if there's a character flaw in your friend that you feel like is not something that you would want to be associated with, I think it's fine to decide that you guys no longer want to be friends. I think as well in this situation, it makes even more sense because the boy in question is also your friend. So like I understand why you would feel like—I don't like the way that you've—you—I don't like the way you've treated the people that you dated, period. But you're—you've also done this to like somebody who I hold dear and close. Like I don't want to be associated with you anymore. And I think it's not just a one-off thing. So it's not like you can just be like, "Oh, maybe she didn't know what she was really doing or what she was really saying, or—or maybe like it was an exagger—maybe it was exaggerated by the guy or whatever, and that's not the real truth." But it's sounding like this is a repeat pattern and just part of her character. It's totally fine for you to say that you don't want to be friends with her anymore.
Yeah.
Fair. Tell me, what do you think?
Yeah, I can definitely relate to this dilemma. Not in the sense of like being in exactly this position, but in terms of distancing myself from people based on how I've seen them treat other people, like the way that they like disregard people's feelings, and like it only takes a second for you to do that to me. So I'd rather take a step back and just—yeah, be your friend maybe from, you know, a mile away as opposed to a centimeter away. So, um, I can definitely understand why somebody would be looking at someone sideways, especially if you're being emotionally manipulative. Like that's a trait that—yeah, I don't rock with. So yeah, I can understand. And I would—I don't know, maybe not exactly cut off, but like I said, maybe take a step back, a step back and not be so like in—in—in the—in the friendship.
Yeah, I agree as well. I feel like it's always like a difficult balance between like wanting to cut someone off because you actually don't stand for something and also wanting to be a point of correction for somebody. And maybe you can do both. I'm just like, how does one person ever really learn if it's not the person that—like you—if you feel like you're close enough to like get to that person? It should come from you. If you're just quick to cut them off, then who—who will correct the person? Do you get what I'm trying to say? Like in those weird situations. So yeah, I find it a bit tricky—to know you can do both. It doesn't have to—for what you're—like you correct them and then say like—I have to distance myself as well. You don't even necessarily say that you—you don't need to even announce that you're distancing yourself. I think like if you—you can just be weary like—and you can like correct them and then you know like—just maybe not speak to them as often and safeguard yourself basically.
Yeah.
But also like I just don't necessarily—I don't know about you guys, but I've never told anybody, "By the way, I'm cutting you off from today." Like if—like I don't even really cut people off, but I did that the other day.
Oh yeah, that would do it.
Well, that's good. I would say cut off. But—but have you ever said to someone like, "I can't lie to you, like our friendship now has changed. Like after this point, I don't really see us being like friends like that anymore." Like that's basically like a cut off in the sense of—
Yeah.
But I've never done that.
You never said that to someone?
No. I think like the people that I'm not as close with anymore and maybe I've like subconsciously or consciously decided to like take a step back, I just do it like—but not all of a sudden. It's not like they're blocked or like whatever—that—of course they can reach out to me if they want to, but you know, it's just like maybe before I was being proactive and trying to be like, "Oh, we haven't seen each other in a while; let's meet up," or like I'll call them—be like, "I haven't heard from this person in a while." Maybe I just do that less, and then after a while, it's like it becomes like months where we haven't spoken. But it's not—I have never—and I'm not saying that you shouldn't, by the way—like obviously if you feel like you need to make a sudden and dra—dramatic like exit, then ably do what you think is best for you, but I've just never had to find myself in that position, but the point I was saying is like to your point about like how can you be a point of correction but also distance yourself. I think you can just correct them and then choose also to not be around them as often, but then they know that if they absolutely need you for something—yeah—that you're still around.
Um, but I was going to ask a question though. Do you guys consider like when you're like looking at your friends or—I don't know—or like when you're choosing a friend or something like that, do you take note of like the way they treat their partners? Like is that—is that a reason why you would cut someone—
Off? Or like if you kept hearing something about, like, say, for example, me now, um, like apparently somebody, let's say I dated like one of your friends' friends or something, and then that guy went to go and tell like one of your friends that, oh, you know, like in a relationship, Sharon's like so hot-headed, like she's actually mad rude, like she goes like too far, like we'll be saying stuff about like people's parents and moms and this kind of stuff.
Yeah. Would you obviously, in—I've never done that to you. You've never seen that side of me before. Would you one, pull me to the side and tell me I'm hearing this? And also, would you then consider, based on like what the men are saying that I'm doing that you've never witnessed, that you would? You know why? Okay. Sorry.
For me, I would say it's tricky because I don't believe men in general. So I'm saying I think this is a bit tricky because you're saying they be—they be putting 20 on 10, and I don't like—I—I—I don't know about you said men, my eyes just like, oh, sounds like a lie to me, even though this is a hypothetical situation, someone is lying there.
Yeah. Literally facts. No, but my—No, but my thing in the moment, if somebody is telling me that, I would defend you in that moment. I'll be like, "Sharon Geo, like what?" But no, no, no, Sharon. No, no, no, not this—not this one. Not this one. Maybe another Sharon. Not that one. And then I would be like, "Oh, so-and-so said that you did this in the relationship." And then until maybe you double down and be like, "Yes, I did that," then I'll be like, "Oh, I think you need to." And that's why our head will be moving. Like, I think you need to reassess the current situation. But yeah, I think I wouldn't, like P said, I wouldn't believe them in that moment because I know the type of person that you are, and I'm friends with you, and I just couldn't imagine.
And the thing is, sometimes—sometimes when you know—sorry, think about myself, you know, you have to think—yeah, yeah—because sometimes, you know, like—like I said that I've seen people the way that they interact with other people, and then I now be like, oh, like I don't really want to be that person's friend, but now like looking back on reflection, some of the stuff that I would see them doing to other people subliminally, they've done it to me.
Yeah, but I—but maybe because of the type of person I am that I'm quite thick-skinned, I don't really take things—I let things slide easily. So then I'll now be looking back like, "Hey, wait, no, she actually did call me a [ __ ]." And yeah, she actually was like—she actually did do—return my text or she didn't do this, but then—but because you love someone and then like you're in a friendship with them or in a relationship with them, you're just prone to be like, "Oh, like you love them." So it is what it is. Like, and I'm the type of person—I let a lot of things slide. Like you have quite a few—me—but yeah, so I think sometimes upon reflection you—oh yeah, like they are a bit of a shitty person, like they are—they—they don't do stuff like this—they do do this—you start looking at the list—no, this is—they do a lot of stuff—and then that's why I say so upon reflection, that's why I was like that situation—yes, it could happen, but I don't think it would—I wouldn't believe it as at first because I'd be like, "No, not that," you know—I have a very different perspective. Funny enough, actually, really tell us like, "Go away."
Um, I think my initial thing, right, is one, like as much as we can say we're close with Sharon, like I just feel like genuinely I understand how people can showcase different % when they're in different environments.
That's what I was going to say. You guys have said that before.
Yeah. Like 150%. For me, I've discovered myself that you don't know you have until one person brings it out. Like this. Anyway, you'll be a sweet soul. Hey, you now be thinking sour soul. No, people can actually bring out the worst 100%. It's only the grace of God. Oh, hallelujah. That will keep you grounded enough to remain—you know—have some sanity. Y—but some people can really push you off the cliff, as in you—the—the fact—the emotions that you feel, especially if you're in a relationship with someone and they do you wrong or something they've done—like you'll be—you'll be like—and then you—and even if maybe you—you know—the term that they use now is crash out—even if you crash out, you now look back, you're like, "I cannot believe this person made me get to that point," but it's—it's possible, so yeah.
Like you said, that's—that's a—that's a—Yeah. I wouldn't actually—I wouldn't like ever say like, "Oh, no, she couldn't," but I wouldn't ever to the person that's asking me, "I would never confirm anything with you." That's why I said you defending—defending the moment and then you now go and do side quest. Defending the moment, but I also just be like, "Okay, you just shut your mouth and let me know." I go to the source. I mean, I always like to go straight to the source. But I think as well, like I wouldn't use that as a way to judge you if that was like something that was actually the case that you were doing. Wouldn't judge you per se, until—especially if I haven't ever voiced my concern about it. You know, it's like, "Okay, cool. Someone's done something," and it's like, "Okay, cool. I have an issue with it. Let me actually say something to them." Like, and I know that really and truly this is not even something that they would even want for themselves. I'll be like to them like, "Okay, cool." Like, for example, with you, S, I'll be like, "Okay, I can't lie to you. Apparently, what you said, like this person took it this way." And then you're like, "Oh, I can't lie. He pushed me to this edge, blah, blah, blah." I'm like, "Okay, cool." Like, obviously I know you don't want that to be a lasting impression in that situation. Like let's try—Mhm—like try to not get yourself to that situation again. If you keep doing it, then I'm taking that as a—me—but I used to—tra—you have—but you know as well—you know, we talk about men and women—like sometimes you need to hear the whole story.
Yeah. To understand why somebody would get to that point. You know, men, they'll just like to give you one line. "Oh, Sharon did this," and then you didn't say because you didn't give me the prequel. You only gave me the current season. Can I have the prequel? Because we're on the current season. You're not giving me what had happened before. Like, you're just telling me, "Oh, she did this, she did that." I'm like, "Okay, why?" Like, I can't imagine her just acting out just based on—on nothing. It has to be a reaction to something. So, those are the type of questions I'll be asking and, you know, take it from there.
That's true. But, yeah, I wouldn't use that against you. But I think that—I do think though if it was like something you were repeating with intention or like something that—like you know—like is now actually a trait that you have, 'cause like I said—you know how I just said now and you mentioned that we discovered like certain parts of ourselves that maybe we didn't realize we had before. Um, but if I—like if it was something that I like would say was maybe like very, very different to my natural state, if I continued that pattern, I would say that you should take that as my character trait. Like, I wouldn't—I would say it's wrong for you to—you would—you wouldn't now say it's out of character.
Yeah. Just because I don't do it to you doesn't mean that it's still not within me. But on that as well, I don't know whether I would now say that that's her character or the person that she with continuously brings out that side to her, and maybe that's a toxic situation that she now needs to get out of because there's some people—it's like you're only like—like—like the—um—being angry. It's very natural to be angry—like you get angry and stuff—but if you're with someone that makes you angry every single day—sorry—why are we still in this situation? You need—like obviously anger—like I said, anger is a natural thing—you—you feel it one day, you feel another day—but to be with someone that constantly makes you angry every single day—I don't know whether that is now your character or you being in that situation is bringing out the worst side of you. I wouldn't now say, "Oh, maybe we need to now go to anger management." That means that you know—I wouldn't—I wouldn't now say that. I would say, "Oh, maybe this situation that you're in is bringing out the worst in you, and this situation is not good. So I—you need to—you need to get yourself out of it." And then if she now still has those angry traits and she's now using it to—uh—in—in other areas of life, that's when I'd be like, "Oh, no, this situ—this is now—is now actually entering the—entering."
Yeah. So that's what I mean.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be like, "Oh, hold on—maybe you do need to go to—"
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Very, very true. Um, interesting question. Hopefully, we answered your hypothetical quite good because you know we don't really do that. We don't really—um—I'll actually ask a question.
Yeah. In terms of people that don't like share information about their relationships. Like what do you think about that? Like would you find it weird if like your closest friend never told you anything about the relationship like at all? I feel like that was kind of the situation when you were in your relationship.
No, but not like—not like that. Like a—
Oh, okay. Maybe I don't know if in your thing.
No, but what I—what I—I don't mean about the negatives. I mean like somebody who like even when they dated someone—like—like I said, this person here is like in deny—won't ever really like confirm—confirm anything. Like everything's always a mystery. Like you can't get—if you ask somebody a direct answer about, "Oh, you and so-and-so," it's always like that sort of mystery. Would that have you—mystery? No. But honestly, would that sort of thing have you thinking, "What's going on with this friend," a very close friend of—I would think that was so weird. I would probably pull you up on it as well. Really, like, "Why are you denying the person? Is it that you're not—" I would just ask.
Yeah. That's odd. Would you think it's odd, Tammy?
Um, I wouldn't think it's odd. I think I would just be like, "What's going on?" Because I don't know. I don't know what space that that person is in. Whether they're just dating one person, dating multiple people, and they don't want to now be revealing all the people that they're dating at the same time. Me, I'm not a multiple dater. I don't think I can. I don't—I can't multitask like that. So, for me, I think it would be weird. It—it would be weird for someone—one of my friends to be telling me every single person that they're dating at that current point—unless—unless we're now crossing the line—question of like, "Oh, you and Toby"—like it's always—it's always just like a—"Ah, no"—like—"Leave that"—but we didn't truly—like they're actually dating. Maybe they're ashamed of the person that they're with. That's why Sharon said, "Are you ashamed? Like what's going on?"
Maybe. No, some people are like—some people—
Oh my god. Yeah, people are ashamed of the person. You need to tell your actual like friend friends, mate. People are ashamed. Swear. Yes, because why?
Yeah. Anyway, if I'm ashamed, yet I'm still going to stand on it because what the heck? Like even if—even if you think he's a joke, I like him so I'm dating him.
Yeah, I know. But like, you know, sometimes I don't know how to say—like some—like some people are ashamed because it's like—I have a question to the public eye—maybe this person—it doesn't make any sense at all—but to you in your—and then sometimes as well—what people are ashamed to admit what they actually like.
Yeah. Oh gosh. Those are the worst type of people. Like they're—they're ashamed to admit what they actually like. Actually, do you think if I can—I can think—I think I can think of some things if I have a bit more time.
No, some people are just genuinely ashamed of what they like.
What do you mean by what they like? You mean like in terms of like they—how they look physically?
Yeah. Like physical. Like I feel like maybe it's not so much now 'cause hopefully everybody's grown—like we've moved on from that. Like guys, especially when we're younger, they used to be like, I don't know, like they used to like a certain type of look or whatever, but it's like they would never like tell their boys. Like, do you know what I mean? Or like maybe they think that somebody's attractive and then let's say the girl just pops up on—like I don't know—like on someone's screen and—"Oh my god, she's so ugly"—and in your head, I think she's—I think she's fine. You know what I mean?
Yeah. But like you see—sometimes you'll see—not maybe not like in close proximity—but you'll see someone that—like a celebrity or something. They'll be with—like the bad—as in the bad—then they now—there'll be a cheating scandal. They'll now bring out the person that—"Hold on—what's the—"like the—there's a stark difference—stark difference. So yeah, I think people are—sometimes people are ashamed of the person that they're dating, and some people are ashamed of the person—the way that the person looks. I think sometimes—um—some people's friends are just very judgmental because I've definitely seen it before where like some people have been nervous to tell like a certain group of friends, but then around another group of friends that are very accepting, they literally light up when they talk about the person.
That's actually very true. So yeah, but anyway, for this person—like we said—I hope that we've answered your dilemma in the sense that we—you can basically do both—you know—don't feel like you can't even regret the person—but if you feel like you need to distance them—distance them as well—very—like go ahead and do that—like it might need to be necessary in this case—um—but yeah, cool—that's the dilemma.
I've got a hot take.
Okay, cool. My hot take is—yeah, some of you are forcing this humility—humble—"Oh, I'm so humble"—you're not humble, you just don't have any money. Because the way some people switch up—
No, the way some people switch up when they get money is crazy. Like in my head, it's like before, like it was always like, "Oh, yes, we thank God." Humble, humble, humility, humility. And then when they have money now, it's like nobody can chat to them. Sorry, but hold on. How can you be humble without money? I thought humble—still be humble about other things. You can still be—
Okay. You're talking about you're humble in anything but money, and then you suddenly lose everything else. Is that what you're trying to say? I don't even understand what you've just said.
Because basically you said that like—first of all, you're humble but you don't actually have money. Then when you get money, you're now not. Okay. Like let's just say that like—before—I don't know how to explain it. It's not like they go around telling people they're humble 'cause that's obviously not humble. But like you can just see like before it was kind of like the way that they were living or like the way they would speak to people. They would treat everyone with like kindness and respect. Like everyone—no matter who they were—like—and it just felt like if you met them and then you were to describe them, you'd be like, "Oh yeah, that person's like really humble"—not because like of—like I don't know—they have a lot of money and that you would never know—but just because of the way that they conduct themselves—like they seem like a very humble person. You can also be like extremely beautiful and be humble—like do you know what I mean? Like there's some people who are like absolutely stunning, but then it's like they never rely on their looks for anything. Like they're kind of just—do you know what I mean? M—but then it's like whenever they get money now—like some people when they get money now—it's like—"Ah"—the person that we thought that we knew that they were speaking to everybody with respect—"Oh yeah"—it's like now you can't—they've done a 180—now you can't chat to them because—"Ah, sorry"—like—"You're not on my level"—like—"You—you need to level up"—like—"Um, you need to start a business, you need to do this, that, and the third." That's my take. What do you think about that?
Yeah, money can switch up a [ __ ]—oh, direct to a man. Sorry, that's what I pictured in my head. Money. But no, money could switch up anybody. Like any women, including—of course, including women. And actually, you know what? Both equally the same 'cause women can really, really switch up. Um, yeah. So, yeah, I agree. I have no—That's a—That's not even—It's a hot take, but it's—it's not unpopular. It's very popular—in like that—one to be weary of that. Smiley—smiley—shiny—shining with their teeth. You go and—go and get one Mercedes C-Class. Now we won't hear the last. We won't hear words. We won't hear words. C-Class. We won't hear words. Hey. Oh, brother. They get one key on finance. One car on finance now. We have not heard—we have not heard the end of it since.
Okay, cool. Well, sounds like it wasn't a hot take after all. Thank god. Okay, cool. So, a couple of weeks ago, we read a thread that went viral on socials, and people have been asking us to do a part two. So, we're doing a part two today. As a reminder, the thread was, "Describe your ex as a brand." Have you guys thought of any—in the—the last—
No, sorry. The ones that wiped that memory off my head.
Oh, the ones that people said genius.
Yeah. Really genius. Hearing it. Genius. Hopefully, I've got those ones that you've covered 'cause there were so many. I literally couldn't—I didn't have time to go through all of them. But anyway, so the question is, describe your ex as a bro—as a brand. I'm bro 'cause—um—bro, what the heck was I doing there? Oh [ __ ] Dang. Every—because he's for everybody.
What you say? No, they're just so crazy. Like I wouldn't have thought of every—Oh god. Teimu 'cause he was giving—why I ordered versus why I got—someone was like timu. Um—oh, what did they say? There was—there's quite—there was quite a few timu ones. Quite a few teu ones. There were a lot of—um—someone said, "Facebook Marketplace—full of empty promises, weird messages, and a strange smell. I can't explain."
Strange smell. Hey, I've never bought anything on Facebook Marketplace.
Yeah. But um—I've heard mixed reviews. Sometimes it's like great, and then some people will be saying like—
Yeah, like some of these strange smells.
Yeah, we've bought and we've also sold—like my mom put up some IKEA shelves—sold within like an hour. It's actually quite good—especially—and I think it depends on the area that you live in. Maybe on our side it's all right.
It's all right. Okay. I don't know about anyone else, but yeah.
Yeah. And my dad bought like a chest of—like—um—not chest of drawers. Um, like a cabinet, like a side cabinet that you put in the living room that you put all like your stuff.
Yeah. It's really good.
Yeah. Yeah. You know, in my house when you enter and you see the big mirror, you know the stand that's like there. That's from Facebook Marketplace.
Oh, nice. Yeah. Um, Apple because he claims to always be updating, but nothing ever changes.
Oh. Oh, Rolex. 'Cause boy, he's going to roll back to his ex. If I could sing that one. This one came up a lot as well. Victoria's Secret because Victoria was his secret. Then a guy put the drugstore 'cause she made me want to do them. Inject. Hey, you made me want to leave this planet, man. Oh my gosh. Crocs. Because he put it in everything that has holes.
Oh, that is a good one. Me as an avid croc wearer. Thank you. Oh my gosh. Um, Starbucks because he had no bucks but he thought he was a star. You know what that's giving—like you know them rappers that want to be rappers—just like—"Like I'm going to blow one day. I'm going to blow one day"—and it's like—"Oh, you have—you need to pay the studio for your stupid time. You're like 18 hours behind." Oh my gosh. MTN 'cause you always find him under every girl's comment section.
Oh, wait. MTN, you know, the provider. So, I guess they comment on a lot of like—
Okay. Like maybe celebs—like—
No, I saw—um—MTM because I think their tagline or whatever is everywhere you go. So, MTM because they follow me everywhere I go. That's a good one as well. Yeah. Um, there were two Uber ones.
Yes. I'll read them both. Uber because he gets around.
Oh, that would do it. Then there was another one. Uber because he's Uber. He's always ready to pick another request while we're still on a trip.
Oh, chbelline because it was always Meline. Ha. Maybe it's Meline. Build a bear because I had to start building him from scratch. Oh, chair Nike because anyone can just do it. Oh lord. Chair. Somebody put—This is going to be the last one I think. Hold on. Okay, let me do last—the last two. Pampers 'cause he was full of crap.
Oh, say again. Pampers 'cause he was full of crap. Then someone said in response to our video, ""Thrift is even generous. You know those China brands, Abibas, Neki, Pamu.""
Yeah, those kind of things. Oh god. Christ, is the end of the thread. People are so creative with that.
Yeah, very creative. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. These exes, y'all. Roll safe. Roll safe to y'all, man. No, don't. Please don't even roll safe. Just roll. Roll away. Literally. Literally. Okay, we're moving on to Don't Get Me Started. And this is a segment where we ask a question on our Instagram story. So, make sure you're following us on there if you're not doing so already. And the question we asked this week, "What's the wildest thing your ex did after a breakup?" Does anybody have any responses to that?
I plead the fifth. Sharon.
Um, no. I don't have anything. It's more what they were doing during the situation.
Ah, as well indeed. Just know some clothes I don't have again. Anyway, uh, cool. So, like I said, what is the—what is—what is the wildest thing your ex ever did to you after a breakup?
Yeah. Date my best friend.
Ah, that is actually so crazy to me. People like—obviously the boy—like whatever—like do you know what I mean? Like he can do whatever he wants to do, but as the best friend—that's right. He was in the hospital for 3 weeks, and when he came out, he still wanted me. Wait, sorry, let me start again. It's actually—it's actually two parts. I'm the crazy ex. He cheated on me, so I destroyed his car and slow poison him. He was in the hospital for 3 weeks. When he came out, he still wanted me. What do you want, bro? This is a listener of ours. Ed, please. I hope I don't meet you. Honestly, that's so—I hope I don't meet you. Please—all—Hey, slow poison. Slow poison. Three weeks in hospital. Hey, that's not slow. That's—that's—that's very medium-based. No, at least 6 months. Hey, 3 weeks in hospital. That is serious. So, let me read the question again. "What's the wildest thing your ex did after a breakup?" Wanted me to sell my puppy that he got me to get his money back for it. Go away, man. [Music] Not the dog. Hey, that's one thing. Yeah, obviously I can't lie. I'm not a pet person, but one thing I can sympathize—empathize—is when a couple have got a dog and now the—
Dog is now dealing with two single parents. Ah, more and the way they'll be say, "Oh, you have the dog on this day and I have the dog on that day." I'm like, god damn. Really? It's a lot of emotional warfare on this dogle. Ah, do as well. Doggy doggy doggy.
He cut my name in his arm. Cuz I found out he cheated. I changed my name after. This girl changed her name. No, but are you like he cut his her name in? Yeah. It's like a It's like to prove to you that I love you, I'm going to call my name. Please, if your name is something like [ __ ] where it's like seven letters. Ah, your face. Just me. Just do me and just do Tammy with an I. Make it short. Damn.
Yeah. Lied that he had a few months to live because of cancer. He wanted to get back together. Whoa. The way people lie about having cancer, that's not good. That one is commonal people lie about cancel. Let's not even mention the person though you know that that artist anyway being a pagan. Don't you know that your daughter is amazing? Hey to hear your dumb for that. What the hell? Sorry, I was just you know we break into songs sometimes.
Yeah, man. Ah, it's a truno. And then what's the 6 a.m. one? Oh, um Oh my god. What's the 6 a.m. song? Um Oh, get it out, Sharon. Yeah, let me find it. Um, no, that's not song. I like I like the one. [Music] Yeah, that sounds like it. NSG. Yeah. No, I like um Yo Darling featuring NSG. Oh, yeah. Okay, cool.
Got a membership at the gym I go to. He never worked out when we were together, though. Godamn. Put me on a three-way with my African mother and cursed me out while she was on the phone. Whoa. What the heck? Let me let me read the question again. What's the wildest thing your ex did after your breakup?
Came to my house and begged my mom for my hand in marriage. And you have to break up. You have to be crazy. People are crazy. Damn. Posted him. Posted himself throwing away a gift I gave him on Snapchat. This was back when there was no such thing as a private story. So what? You have a tripod and then I throw all this in place. That's so funny. What the heck?
Started dating my sister. Oh gosh. Damn. People are wicked. No, honestly. We do frequent check-ins for your information. I'm married and pregnant. Together for 4 years, married for two. So there, you know, that one lingering ex that will never will never let you go. Bro, I'm married and I have a you in my stomach. Literally, I've moved on. There's no open again. I swear. There's no circle back, boy. Guys are audacious, man. That's one thing about them. I'mma give it to them.
Told everyone I was gay with my best friend as a justification for him cheating on me. No, I am not. But now I have a be Now I have the best fiancé and he is on and off with the girl he cheated on me with. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Who's on and off with the Okay, so he was a he was telling everybody that his current girlfriend Yeah. was gay with her own best friend, but she has now she has now moved on and got a fiancé, but he is still on and off again with the girl that he cheated on her with. And like her, he said that like his justification for cheating with this girl was that, oh yeah, but she's actually gay with her best friend. Please, man. Please.
Let me read the question again. What's the wildest thing your ex did after um a breakup? got engaged. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Put a tracker on my car. That's so scary. That's so scary. Dated my home girl. Moved in together and broke up because he called my name during sex. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
Guys, have you ever No, I already know what the question is going to be. Have you ever like caught yourself calling a guy maybe like a different guy's name? Not like in any I mean like even just like having a conversation like you know where you're used to talking to somebody like frequently and then you accidentally like about to say someone's name and then you have to like style it out. Have you ever done that? Have you ever situation? Yeah. I've never been that. Well, I have very often. Oh. Oh dear. Yeah. Very often. I feel like it's natural though. Like I can understand how it can happen, but it's just it's just never happened to me. Oh wow. Sometimes I do that even like girls like who sometimes like whoever like I can sometimes just feel like oh I want to just say like oh stop and then I'm like oh wait that's not you. Yeah I do all the time. That's what I mean. That's what I mean about mistakenly. Yeah. But I've never done that with a guy actually. Okay. Interesting.
You know what kills me? The fact that your mouth is quivering. I'm even trying to just I'm trying to find I'm trying to work out what you're going to even say something like asked me to come suck his while he was in hospital while he had a girl come over from Africa waiting for him at home. She didn't suck. Hey, it's as well. Hey, that's insane. Try to kill my dog. No. Oh, that's bad. Now, like I said, leave the dogs alone. This one? Yeah. Slept with three girls and got them pregnant as to prove he is not gay. 5 years later he's married to a man. Hey, so after all of that, guys, be yourself. You know what I mean? At this point, yourself at this point now you got four families. What the heck is going on, bro? Oh my god, that's disgusting.
Called over a hundred times in one night. Broke into my house on my birthday. The worst 24 hours ever. That's giving that film. What's that? Worst thing my worst thing your ex do you remember? Oh yeah. I can't remember what it's called but yeah. Worst ex ever. Yeah. On Netflix. Yeah. God damn. What? Eoo a good screw. He was telling everyone I was infertile because I didn't get pregnant for him when we were together. Guys, are you so wicked? Like and I don't know if you saw the stat where it was like 30% now 30% of infertility now have been linked to male like men's health. Oh. Which is quite high. Yeah. Wow. Another thing I actually saw was that actually the embryotic sack is actually I don't know the science behind it, but like it's it deter it's determined by the man's health. So whatever I don't know the science behind it, but apparently like before you're trying to get pregnant, the man should also be healthy. And actually apparently there's a percentage of miscarriages that are related to the man's health as well. You Wow. Yeah. I just wanted to actually make sure that I was 100% right. I've just seen yeah 30% of infidel um infertility cases the sole cause is attributed to a male factor um while an additional 30 to 40% of cases male factors contribute alongside female factors so 30% is so cool solely just men solely just the man k okay last two stole 3,000 pounds from me then lied about being in a car crash. And last one got another colleague in our workplace 6 months later after he said he didn't want kids. Oh, of course. And that was the end of don't get me started. It is well being. Yeah, they be whing.
Sorry. Sometimes I also feel like this maybe this is a hot take. I don't know what it is, but you know when it's like when you say something and it's like but can we just make it clear that the for you or to you is silent? Like let's let's let's stand on business. Like if you actually feel like it's for that person, say it's because it's you. Why are you disguising it as this is who I am? Like for example, you have a conversation with someone like I'm not ready for a relationship, honey. Just say I'm not ready for a relationship with you. That's not offensive. that is literally saying the point, the actual fact of the statement. I understand sometimes you actually don't even know whether I'm sure people say that's the reason, but they don't actually know that maybe they're not ready for they are ready for a relationship until they meet someone else. But more time people like to disguise things and forget they're with you or to you is the silence. Silence. And I feel like people need to stand on business and just say yes, it's you. That's like is I'm thinking about you solely. I'm not thinking about my general life. Like if you were to ask me like, "Okay, but like if you're going to date someone else, I don't know." Do you know what I mean? Like just stand on business. Um that's something I feel like people like disguise a lot. Yeah. But they don't want to really tell you the truth about something. Yeah. 100%.
But anyway, let's wrap up with the song of the week. Um, so each week we add songs to our playlist which is available on Spotify and it's available on Apple Music and YouTube for those who don't have either platforms. And the theme this week, guys, you're going to help me out. What's the theme again? Is it the um songs from movies or shows or like maybe theater performances, etc., etc. Okay, cool. Yeah. Um, so yeah, that is the theme. So, girls, what do you want to add to the playlist this week? Should I go? Sorry. Yeah, you go first. Yeah. Um, I mentioned this in the episode with Shay, but the album, The Lion King, The Gift, that Beyonce did was such a good album. Like, I I even think it's like very underrated cuz some of the songs here are quite good. So, I'm going to add uh My Power. They'll never take my power. My power. My power. I'm going to add already with Beyonce and Shatal. Oh my god. Yeah, I know, right? And then I'm also going to add Burner Boy Jara. And then um I'll also add T Savage and Mr. Easy Keys to the Kingdom. Okay, nice. Nice. Um I was just trying to double check if this is definitely from a movie. I think it is. So anyway, I'm going to add Trevor Jackson, Like We Grown. Um, and then I think there was another song from that show as well. Actually, no, just that one. Like We Grown. Is that from song? I think it's from that Disney Channel movie that he's in with Zena. Um, but I just can't remember the name of it now. Okay. Um, I'm just going to do a classic, which is Whitney Houston, I will Always Love You, which is from the film The Bodyguard. Mh. Um, and let me think, is there another one that I can add? Um, I know this is I don't know what the movie is, but it's a Joe song. I want to know what turns you on. I don't know what movie that would be from. Yeah. No, it's from a movie. I can see that it's it says it's from a movie soundtrack, but I don't know. It doesn't say what movie it is, but I'm I'm going to get away with that one. Um, so that's the song I'm going to add to the playlist. So, yeah, those are songs we've added to the playlist, guys. Please, please, please help us out with this playlist as well. Add all the suggestions that you'd want to add to it and we'll obviously make sure we have a look in time for our next recording. But yeah, hopefully you guys enjoyed this week's episode. Like I said at the beginning, please, please, please, if you're watching, hit that subscribe button. If you're listening, hit that follow button. And as always, we will see you guys next week. Bye. [Music]