Transcription
Welcome to the next lesson. This lesson is going to be much shorter than lesson number one. What I was trying to do in lesson number one is really give you a strong framework about how we forget who we truly are, build that integrity gap, and form these layers over the gold. And remind you that at your core is a primal hero, which leads us, hopefully elegantly, into today's lesson, which is based on the alternative success measurement model. You can see it on the screen in front of you.
Well, what is the alternate success measurement model? I believe when people talk about power in the world, like, "Oh, he's powerful. She's powerful. That person is powerful," that's a certain type of power. Let's call it worldly power. I believe underneath all the layers over the golden Buddha is a truer power. I believe every person on the planet has the ability to access that truer power. And when you start to access the real power lying at your core, you become undefeatable. You become wildly creative. You definitely become a possibilitarian. You become so productive, so energetic, and such an instrument of service. And the people who've really changed the world, the great pioneers and visionaries, they all somehow tapped into that true power. So let's get right into it.
I believe there are five fake power metrics in society right now. They're fake. The first is money. "Oh, that person is powerful because they are worth X number of billions of dollars." That's one form of power, but I think it's a fake power metric because you lose the money, you lose the power.
The second fake power metric is fame. That is so delicate and illusory as well. But people in the world and society say, "Oh, that person is really powerful, very influential because they're famous." So many, let's say, film celebrities or music celebrities, they become really, really famous. But oftentimes, they lose it within a year. So fame is a very ephemeral form of power. It's not really enduring. I don't think it's really real, and I don't think it's something that you want to spend your days pursuing. I think if you become famous as a byproduct from pushing magic, doing amazing work, being the best in the world of your craft, or a great movement maker, if that makes you famous, that's fine. But it's a byproduct versus a metric you want to be chasing.
Third fake power metric is achievement. Now, this might surprise you, but I don't think the name of the game is being a hyper-achiever. This might surprise you. I think it's a fake power metric. A lot of people wear their business as a badge of honor. A lot of people, and you see this so much in the culture, it's if you're wasting time, you're wasting your life. If you're not hustling and grinding. I'm absolutely not a subscriber to the hustle and grind philosophy. But there's so much messaging: "Hustle and grind. If you're not working, you're losing." I don't believe that's accurate at all.
First of all, the science confirms that the most productive people, when they work, they work intensely, and then when they rest, they rest deeply. And it's those oscillating in the 5 AM club. I call it the twin cycles of elite performance: the high excellence cycle balanced with the deep recovery cycle. And if you take the time to rest and renew, then your next work cycle is going to be deep and beautiful and effective and heroic. The people who work 24/7 and hustle and grind, they end up exhausted. They don't last long. They don't, they don't, they don't play at mastery for many decades. They flame out. So achievement is important, but non-stop achievement will just wear you out.
I suggest rather than being someone who's always pushing out work, you know, one project after another project, shift the game and become a multiple masterwork producer. A multiple masterwork producer, an MMP. And that's someone who you might take a few years to create a project, but it's not okay. It's not very good. It's not excellent. It's an outright masterwork. And that takes time. And that, that doesn't come from hustling, grinding, and working day and night. It works from working intensely every day for a few hours, and then resting and having fun and enjoying life. And over time, you produce your masterwork. And over your career, you produce a few masterworks. There are a lot of authors, for example, they're producing a book, two books, three books every year. And then there are some authors that just do one, "Catcher in the Rye," J.D. Salinger. But it's such a masterwork. It's influenced millions of people, and it's still selling today.
The fourth fake power metric. Please don't chase materialism purely. I don't think there's anything wrong with living a beautiful life and having a nice handbag, nice clothes, a nice watch, staying in beautiful hotels, traveling, while living in a nice home. I'm going to be the first to share with you, it gives you freedom and it can bring an incredible amount of joy. I know some people are very, you know, they're like monks and they want to be alone in a monastery. And I'm not going to judge them. If that makes them happy, then that's right for them. For me, I want to live in the world. I want to enjoy beautiful things. It makes me happy. But I also don't want those things to be my slave. And that's where it becomes where materials become a fake power metric. You say, "Oh, I have five houses or one big house or a Ferrari, and that is a metric or measurement of my power." The danger of that is you lose the house, you lose the power, you feel empty. And that's why in some of the great, in the Great Depression, there were people who, in one day, they lost their entire fortune in the stock market, and they killed themselves. That is someone whose identity is based on their worldly materialism. That's why I call it a fake power metric.
And then the fifth is lifestyle. There are some people you see them perhaps on social media. It's, "Here's where I am. Here's the beach I'm at. Here's the yacht. Here's the restaurant. Here's the food I eat. Here are the celebrities I hang out with." And again, their power metric: "Look, I'm powerful and I'm important in the world." It's their lifestyle.
The big, big shift is to five real power metrics. This is why it's the alternate success measurement model. I'm not saying that money is wrong, or fame, or achievements, or materialism, or lifestyle. Any of those things are wrong. I'm saying don't base your power on those. Don't base your power and your feelings of power, and your heroism, and your creativity, and your well-being, and your self-identity on those five fake things because they're fleeting. They're worldly. The world changes every day.
What are the real power metrics of everyday heroism? Mastery. These are shifts. Shift from money to mastery. When you do your work, don't worry about how much money you'll make. Be monumentally focused on how magnificent the work is. The irony is that's how you make money. You push magic into the world, then people consume the magic, they fall in love with the magic, you delight them, you show them beauty in a world of less beauty. They tell everyone they know, they become your fanatical follower. They tell everyone you know about your products or service, and you make money. But don't focus on the money. Focus on the real power metric or measurement, which is mastery. And mastery is a, it takes, it takes years of getting to mastery. But you want to start the journey now. A year from now, you're going to wish you started today, right? So the first real power metric: mastery. Being so good at what you do, we can't take our eyes off of you. Being so good at what you do, you disrupt the entire field. Being so good at what you do that when you push your work out into the world, your customers and all witnesses say, "I've never seen anything this good." There's a lot of disruption in the global economy, national economies. I'm suggesting you create your own economy, born of mastery. Don't participate in ups and downs of the economy. Create your own economy so that in recessions or bull markets, you're so good at what you do, people always keep on coming to you because people will always pay for magic.
The second real power metric: measure your power by creativity. I'm reading a book right now. It's, I think, "50 Magic Lessons from Salvador Dalí." It's a fascinating, bizarre book. And, um, you know, he just, I went to his house on Costa Brava, and it was just so fascinating to see his paintbrushes and to see a telephone booth next to his swimming pool, and the work rooms where he'd work. And I think of Dalí and I think of Picasso, and that's a true way to measure your power. Are you honoring your inner artist? Whether you're a bond trader, whether you're a teacher, whether you're a mother, father, whether you are a coder, whether, no matter what you do, you're an artist. But when Picasso said it, well, he said, "It took me four years to paint like Raphael." And he said, "It took me a lifetime to remember how to paint like a child." When we were little kids, we would doodle, we would paint, we would speak about being an astronaut, we would speak about being an architect. And then players of cognitive and intellectual programming took over the brainwashing. And then the layers of emotional scarring. We didn't get invited to a party in grade five, and we lost our girlfriend in grade 12, and we lost a job at 21. And so the emotional trauma, micro-trauma, and macro-trauma that I talk about in "The Everyday Hero Manifesto," it creates this field of hurt. So we experience heart-washing. Everyone talks about brainwashing. We've also been emotionally hypnotized to forget our true nature. Emotionally, then physically, we've lost that true sense of world-class physicality in some ways because we don't live to a hundred, and we don't have all the energy we could have. And we don't, you know what I'm getting at. And then spiritually, we contract, and we're not connected with the force that rules the world, and we don't really understand the truths on how the universe works. We buy into this non-spiritual belief system. So creativity is a real great way to remember your power. When you were a little kid, you were so creative.
Number three, the third power metric is authenticity. You know, there are a lot of plastic people in the world right now. There are a lot of people who dress in a way they can't even stand the way they dress, but that's the way the tribe dresses, so they dress that way. There's a lot of people who conduct business and operate in business just because that's how everyone does it. There's so few really innovative companies. Usually, what happens is there's an innovative company, and then you get everyone else in the industry, they just copy the marketing, the products, the innovation. I shouldn't say innovation, they copy the products, the marketing, the branding of the leading company. There's so little. There are so few pirates in business. There are so few revolutionaries. I think of Miles Davis. Miles Davis copied his heroes initially. I think it was Charlie Parker and Duke Ellington until he developed the confidence to disrupt the rules. And I think it was Picasso who said, "Master the rules so you can break the rules." And so authenticity is about saying, "Yes, I'm a member of the herd, but I'm going to continually start to break free from the herd, and I'm going to live my life in a certain way, and I'm going to talk in a certain way." I mean, most of the time I wear blunt stones and camo shorts and black t-shirts because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel creative, and it feels right to me. And if people don't like it, it's okay. I, whether it's in a restaurant or a hotel or with my family, I'm really honest with people. I, I, I tell people how I feel about them when it's, when it's loving. If I'm in a restaurant, the food's good, I will, I will say to them, "This is just an amazing meal, and I really honor you for bringing this food to the table and for what you're offering me and my family and creating this magical moment." And if people think that's strange to be so open, then that's okay, but it's authentic for me. I love my family, and I believe, you know, someone very deeply connected in honoring of my family. But I also spend a lot of time alone. Like when I was writing "The Everyday Hero Manifesto," there was one part of the writing process where I was at a cliff-top cottage over the Atlantic, and I needed that for 14 days to get into flow state where nothing else mattered so I could tap into that alternate universe. I talked about the concept of transient hypofrontality. So you want to live your life on your own terms. That is a fortune. It's a great power metric. Am I being true to myself? Am I being true? Am I, am I doing things every day that make me feel happy? Am I around people that bring me joy? Am I doing work that stimulates me and makes me feel I'm using my life well? Am I living in the city I want to live in? If you don't want to live in the city you're living in, if it doesn't bring you joy, why are you living there? We could spend a whole program on authenticity, but that will give you more energy when you just say, "I'm only going to do the work I want to do. I'm only going to live where I want to live." It's very brave. I know it's not easy, but that's pure authenticity, and the universe rewards your bravery to be you with most amazing rewards.
Fourth power metric is soulfulness. There are so many in the world who are chasing success, lots of social likes, lots of money, lots of peer acclaim. And those things are, those things are fine. Live with soulfulness. That's a really great power metric. Are you, are you consistently feeling brought to the point of tears by the beauty of your life? And this has nothing to do with money. But you're just, it might be, you know, you go to a lookout, see the Duomo like I saw in Florence, or you eat a very simple meal, but it's so fresh and it's so skillfully prepared, it moves you. Are you living, are you an aesthetic, someone who loves beauty? Are you living soulfully where you're connecting with people and strangers and just having conversations? Or you are taking the time to work brilliantly, and then when you're refueling and regenerating, you're in your garden, or you're walking in the woods, or you're mountain biking, or you're reading books that move you and teach you and inspire you? Are you around people who you just can't believe they're so decent and funny and interesting? Soulfulness is a really important power metric.
And then I'd say humanity and philanthropy. That's giving back in any way you can. When I was growing up, my dad used to say, "Robin, when you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. He said, son, live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries while you rejoice." I think to lead is to serve.
And then let me wrap up this lesson. The five substitute addictions. You know, if you're living by the five fake power metrics, then because you don't have that connection to that everyday primal hero at your core, underneath the layers, you're going to actually substitute, come up with some addictions to make you feel better. A lot of people's behaviors, there are flights from dealing with potential unexpressed. They're escaping by addictions to their phone, addictions to streaming videos, addictions to gaming, addictions to alcohol, addictions to complaining, addictions to what? Gambling, to alcohol and drugs. Those addictions are happening because there, there are holes within their psyche, and they're trying to fill the hole with the drugs, or buying things, or the gambling. And so the five substitute addictions, if you're living by these five fake power metrics: Number one, you never feel like you're enough, so you're always loathing yourself. You get addicted to self-hatred. You get addicted to never feeling enough. And these are the workaholics. You see them, and you go, "Hey, by the way, you're busy being busy." But they can't see it because they're addicted to being busy because it allows them to avoid feeling the feelings they don't want to feel.
The second substitute addiction is perfectionism born of abandonment. They, so many good souls have abandoned them, their best selves. I've shared the process I've offered you in the previous lesson. So they've abandoned themselves. Now they're beating themselves up. How do they do it? "You've got to be perfect. You've got to be perfect." Makes them, makes them feel better.
Third substitute addiction: jealousy fueled by insecurity. Some people, I'm not judging, just reporting, they're very jealous of anyone else winning. And that's fueled from insecurity because of this wounding I've talked about.
The fourth is workaholism driven by immaturity. And the fifth is unhappiness made by illusion. They get addicted to being unhappy, being a victim, always complaining. No matter how great their life. The term that psychologists use is crisis-oriented living. Some people, they literally subconsciously create crisis every day. It releases adrenaline. They get addicted to adrenaline. They get addicted to the crisis. Why? Because the unhappiness, I know this sounds contrarian, but unhappiness is actually safe. It's all they know. It's familiar. Did you imagine that? So much trauma along the journey of life that unhappiness is familiar. Drama is safe. So if it's peaceful, they actually create drama to make them feel more safe.
And finally, the five natural states of being. When you start to live by these five real power metrics, your five natural states of being, this is who you truly are underneath the layers: Unattached joyfulness. Your joy comes from a place well beyond the world. Your joy is not dependent on your income. It's not dependent on your social standing. It's not dependent on your health. It makes me think in "The Everyday Hero Manifesto" of Jean-Dominique Bauby. He was a leader in French society, the editor of French Elle magazine, bon vivant, had everything in the world. One day he suffered a massive stroke, ended up with locked-in syndrome. The only thing he could move was his left eyelid. Blinked. He created a vocabulary, an alphabet with his therapist over the last period of his life while in bed. He blinked 200,000 times and wrote a book called "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly." I don't know if he was joyful, but for some reason, just intuitively, in this moment I'm recording this for you, it made me think of unattached joyfulness. Your natural state is to find a place of joy that is not tethered to the world. And if you do this work over the next 30 days, and then as I mention, you weekly in this program, you will get to a place where literally you feel this joy emerging and growing that isn't dependent on anything on the outside.
Second natural state: untouchable peacefulness.
Third natural state: undefeatable heroism. You get knocked down. Japanese say it well: "Get knocked down seven times, get up eight." You will become anti-fragile. If you stay with me through this process over the next year, you will get stronger as things get more complex and messy. That's real heroism. It's, it's the Japanese philosophy, right? And I talk about it in the book. There's, you know, a piece of pottery breaks, let's say it's a teapot, and they have developed a philosophy where it becomes more beautiful in the broken places. If you break a, if you break a bone, I hope you don't, but it calcifies and it gets stronger at the broken places. Nature, our bodies represent nature. But nature is, we get stronger at the broken places. And so you want to use your suffering to get stronger. And your third natural state of being is just being undefeatable. Nothing can knock you down.
Fourth is unbridled connection. We are built to connect with other human hearts. We are built to serve. We are built to see the people around us not as separate people, and not be selfish. We're built to be generous. We're built to serve. We're built to help. So your fourth natural state of being is unbridled connection.
And your fifth is unimaginable understanding. What is, I think the spiritual masters, one of their, the places they arrived at through their inner work was they got to a place of understanding reality. They got to a place of understanding what really is true beyond the social programming of panem, beyond the misperception. Almost every, most people on the planet are misperceiving reality. They're, they're not seeing all the opportunities that are out there. They're not realizing they too can operate like Shakespeare and Picasso and Beethoven and Hedy Lamarr and Tesla and Galileo and Da Vinci and Michelangelo. We misunderstand possibility. We, we misunderstand what we can achieve. We misunderstand how we should conduct a human life. The final natural state of being is you get to a place of unrestricted understanding. So you just understand who you are, how powerful you are, and the way the world really works. And would that not be an amazing place to get to?