Transcription
An employee blackmails with dismissal. As a leader, your brain just explodes at that moment because you were counting on this employee, you entrusted them with some task, some project, time was spent on it, money was spent on it, and when some fuck-up happened, something didn't work out, and you try to get the employee to put in a little more effort, to gnaw at it a bit more to get the result, they suddenly throw the following in your face: "Well, Alexander Alexandrovich, if you don't like how I do it, I'm doing everything I can, but if you don't like how I do it, well, fire me." And at that moment, the leader's brain explodes because you understand what you are dealing with, what this is. This directly causes an emotional reaction. What the hell was that? The first thing to understand here is that there are two fundamentally different situations when you encounter such a statement from an employee. "Well, fire me." The first situation arises when you have a really good employee, they really work, and they are really quite reliable, dedicated, a good specialist, but they didn't cope. And when you try to put more pressure on them, they react like this. I had a situation when we were doing a rather long project, it lasted about two years, we spent about a quarter of a million dollars on it. At a certain moment, the head of this project said: "I'm not coping, obviously, fire me." I encountered such a situation myself for the first time and started analyzing it, and discovered one interesting thing. When I started looking at it more broadly, I discovered one interesting thing. There is a certain category of people, you can say that it relates to their personal qualities. They can put in effort, they can get results, but when barriers, from their point of view – it doesn't mean that it's an insurmountable barrier, but from their point of view, barriers become too frightening, too big – then their desire to achieve is completely turned off. Many people, most people, you can say, have such a power regulator, a smooth one. We encounter a barrier, we add a little power, we overcome this barrier. By the way, every time we overcome some barriers, our power becomes a little bit more because our self-confidence increases, that we can overcome something. We encountered the next barrier, added a little power, overcame it. We encountered a bigger barrier, you turn it up to the maximum and overcome it.
But there are people, and quite a large percentage, for whom this is not a smooth power regulation, but an on/off switch. And when it's on, somewhere in the middle of its power, meaning this person, they are always on at a certain level. This is a power switch. They overcame a small barrier, great. Overcame another, excellent. Overcame another, great. And then they encountered a slightly bigger barrier, but since they don't have power regulation, it completely turns off for them. At that moment, this person is good, capable, willing to get results, but they say: "Well, I'm clearly not coping, fire me." What to do with such people? Well, if you have such people, and I'll admit that I had such people under my command, you need to understand this first. You need to recognize this. This is simply, you can say, a certain quality of this particular person. And when we deal with such people, we must be very calculating regarding what challenges to give these people, because this person will cope perfectly up to a certain level. And I would advise you as a leader to simply find projects with smaller challenges for this person, with a smaller area of responsibility, and they will possibly work there their whole life and will please you with results. But never put this person on projects where barriers, difficulties may be higher than their level, because at that moment they will simply give up. And this is the only thing you can do in this case: to remove this person from the project, send them somewhere, to some area where it is much easier to cope, and that's it. And they will work for you perfectly. Draw a conclusion from this situation that you didn't figure it out, that you are dealing with exactly this type of person. And accordingly, write off the losses and move on. This is the first case. The second case is much less pleasant, and that is when a person is simply manipulating. They are just, you know, like a hooligan, you could say a thug, they are playing you, they are throwing you challenges and watching how you will react. Such people intuitively know that if they throw such a thing at a leader and he swallows it, then the leader is on the hook, then you can do anything with him. It's just manipulation, great manipulation. It is hidden influence on a person with destructive goals, because sometimes people don't understand, they call any influence on a person manipulation, but that's not true. Because any leader must influence their subordinates, achieve that they put in more effort, change priorities. This is simply the job of a leader. And even hidden influence is not always manipulation, because hidden influence, well, we can't always tell people everything, and we have to somehow influence them, create circumstances where they will show their abilities better. But manipulation is hidden influence whose goal is destructive. For example, it is hidden influence on a leader to make him a little less confident as a leader, so that he loses his ability to lead a little. Well, in simple terms, I fell behind this subordinate and went to do something else, leaving him alone. So, this statement, "Well, fire me if I'm not coping," is often also such manipulation. But I want to say that you always feel it. You really feel it. We always feel what a person's intentions are. They really didn't cope, and they are disappointed, upset, and they are worried about it. It's like in the first case I described. Or they throw this bomb at you and watch what you will do, and how you will jump now, leader, what will happen to you.
If you are dealing with such a situation, if you are dealing with manipulation, what would I do in this situation? So, the first thing is very simple. You just take this person, lead them to your office, and talk to them. Explain to them what manipulation is, and explain to them that what they are doing with this statement – such statements are often made publicly at some meetings, coordination – that with such a statement, they are actually trying to manipulate the leader, they are trying to destroy the leader's authority, to destroy the team's confidence in the leader's abilities, and in general, in their abilities to achieve results. It's just that sometimes people have such manipulative techniques as a bad habit. The person doesn't even realize they are manipulating, but they realize it but don't account for it later. And when you, as a leader, talk to them about it and show them how destructive it is, and also say that in communication with you, this is unacceptable in principle, there is a probability that such a person will look at it and say, "Okay, fine, sorry, it won't happen again." If, however, this did not succeed, then what I would do next is this: I would talk to this person and explain the following: "Look, we have goals as a team. We are building such a company. We want to achieve such results. We want it to be great to work in the team. We want every member of our team to be able to rely on another, because a team is impossible if we don't trust each other. And when someone from the team suddenly says, 'Well, okay, well, fire me if I'm not suitable for you,' then in this way, they are actually refusing to take responsibility for the role they play in the team. This, you know, weakens the whole team. And if you act this way, then we will simply have to get rid of you, really, as a team member. If you, if you really want to be fired, think about it." I would give them some time to think. But with high probability, of course, if I couldn't bring such a person to their senses, I would have to fire them. Parker, hello, you are fired. And in this case, if this is your case, fire them without regret. Even when a person manipulates like this and throws at the leader, "Well, fire me if I haven't coped," haha, this says that this is definitely not a team member, that they definitely want to destroy you and your team, and there will be no benefit from dealing with such a person, even if they are a good specialist. It's like sitting on a powder keg with a lit fuse. It will definitely explode. The question is just when. Moreover, it will explode at the moment that will be the most difficult, the most critical, at the moment when you will most need support, some consolidation of efforts in the team. At that moment, it will explode and may take off not only your head but everyone else's too. Therefore, if you encounter this, get rid of this person as quickly as possible, regardless of whether they are a specialist. Specialists are on the market, you can hire good people who are not manipulators and cooperate with them perfectly. But look at successful companies, they do this.