Transcription
Okay, okay, everybody calm down. Some of my best friends are cheese. Okay, that's not true, but still, you get my point. [Music]
INFJs are subtle operators, exponents of soft power or quiet forcefulness. By virtue of their introverted intuition, they can see potential in people, a place or role in which that person would thrive, and can facilitate a person's journey to that role. The film or literature archetype would be the strangely powerful mentor figure that is guiding the hero every step of the way.
Okay, so that's all well and good, but what about when they go dark? Broadly speaking, there's two ways in which a person can go dark: one is where they self-destruct, and the other is where they—a particular brand of craziness—starts to impact other people in their lives.
Resentment. By default, INFJs are people-orientated givers. When this comes so naturally to you, you will often find yourself in unbalanced relationships, firstly because people would simply take advantage of you, but also because people simply come to expect what you give them, and they will sometimes unintentionally take you for granted. If you add this to the INFJ's natural tendency to suppress their own emotions in favor of harmony and their tendency to seclude themselves, you have a recipe for boiling resentment that can simmer beneath the surface for great lengths of time. So you can, in theory, have a very dark, resentful INFJ and not be aware of it at all, which is a scary thought.
The harmony paradox. Harmonious relationships and healthy ones are not synonymous. Harmony is, by definition, at the expense of the complete, honest expression of at least one of the parties' feelings. It can be like hanging up a beautiful painting over a hole in the wall. No matter how much nicer that is to look at, sometimes you just need to rip it off and confront that there is something missing or unaddressed. This results in two possible ways forward: either you say, "Let's fix it together,"—oh, and this is kind of an underrated approach in my opinion—or you can simply say, "Let's just live with it. It may not be beautiful, but it is our own."
The cult leader. Imagine the exact same description I gave of INFJs at the start of this video, except make the vision they have for others more malicious.
So there's a theme with INFJs that I often mention, and INFJs don't really like when I bring it up: that is manipulation. I think that INFJs know how good they can be at this, and they put a lot of effort into resisting the temptation to do this kind of stuff, but that's not what this video is about. Picture the unassuming Machiavellian maneuver, whether that be at your office in work or in some high-powered position of influence. INFJs are extremely empathetic, but empathy is a neutral tool that can be used in service of many different goals, but vary in their morality. INFJs almost always use this trait to help the people around them, but it can just as easily—and in fact, sometimes more easily—be used to play with people's emotions. INFJs, ironically, are often the people who know exactly where to poke a sharp stick, but they do not do so well. In the rare times that they do poke it, it hurts.
The way I like to visualize this is a cult leader: someone who can foster dependency by being a trusted confidant, but also exert an insidious influence on their followers.
Unrealism. Any type that has an intuitive function as their top function is kind of susceptible to this, so it isn't surprising. One thing I've noticed with INFJs and INTJs who have extroverted sensing as their inferior function is this strange need for sensory perfection, usually on things they're working on. If they're making a product or doing a painting or writing a book or whatever it is—it can be anything—like every type, they aren't balanced when it comes to their lowest function. They can fluctuate all the way from being completely out of touch with reality and, on the flip side, become obsessive over sensory details, being perfectionists, you know, no other thing about it.
There's quite a lot of ways in which INFJs can go dark. I haven't even mentioned door slams. Maybe this is a type that needs to be revisited on this topic. As always, there is so much to say on every topic, on every type. There's been many occasions where comments people have left down below have led to video ideas. So if you think I've missed anything big in this video, leave a comment down below and just tell me what that is, or alternatively, just like one of the comments you think is accurate, and it should, I think, move closer to the top. We do also have a Patreon. If you want to request a video on a particular topic or even a series of videos, you can do so on there. Also, we do type people, so if you're curious about our opinion—I want us to type you—we'll give you our best guess. And as always, you can simply donate to fund our world domination.