Transcription
Most people enjoy being praised, but did you know that receiving praise can actually be sexually arousing and can be a kink for some folks?
On the other side of the coin, some people really love being degraded or humiliated in a sexual way. For some people, it's hard to imagine why someone could be aroused by being humiliated, but it's a very real turn-on for some folks, and they need it. For some people, it can be hard to wrap their head around why someone would be aroused by humiliation, but for a lot of folks, it's a very real turn-on.
So, in today's video, we're going to address the topic of praise and degradation kinks and dive into what makes these kinks rousing for some people. As a psychologist and sex therapist, I'm often talking with folks about how they can explore their kinks, reduce shame and stigma, and feel empowered to embrace their sexual preferences, whatever those might be. So, there's a lot to explore in the realm of praise and degradation kinks. Let's jump into it.
First, let's start with defining and diving into praise kinks. Someone might have a praise kink if they feel aroused when hearing praise, compliments, and positive affirmations from a romantic or a sexual partner. The praise can relate to what's happening during a sexual experience. A person might enjoy hearing that they are sexy, they're a great lover, and many other compliments. The compliments can also be related to aspects of a person outside the sexual context. Someone with a praise kink might even like receiving praise in their day-to-day life.
Praise kinks are not universal, so what feels arousing to one person might not resonate with someone else. Someone with a praise kink might also have an affinity for being worshiped, also known as a worship kink. A worship kink is similar to praise, but it's more intense in the delivery. So instead of saying, "Wow, you're so beautiful," someone with a worship kink might want to hear something like, "You are the most gorgeous person I have ever seen. There is no one else more beautiful than you."
So, how do you know if you have a praise kink or if you just like receiving positive reinforcement? How you feel when you receive a compliment can offer some insight around if praise is actually a sexual kink for you. Let's be real, most people appreciate being told nice things about themselves, but it doesn't mean that everyone experiences sexual arousal or sees praise as something erotic. Someone with a praise kink does experience praise as an erotic experience, though. That doesn't mean someone with a praise kink wants to jump on their boss if they get a compliment for the work they've done. It just means that in the right context, praise is one aspect of sex that fuels their desire and arousal.
Okay, so let's talk about degradation kinks. Well, praise kinks tend to be more understood, cuz like I said, most people enjoy receiving praise. A lot of people don't actually seek out negative feedback, and there can be a strong avoidance around being spoken to in what might be seen as negative or in a confrontational way. Someone who has a degradation kink does try to seek out opportunities to be humiliated or degraded because they experience it as something arousing.
This is a kink that tends to be more pathologized by folks who don't get it. As people assume that everyone with a degradation kink has experienced some sort of trauma in childhood and the draw towards degradation is a sort of trauma response. Well, that might be true for some folks and can actually be empowering for some people, not everyone who has a degradation kink enjoys it because it links back to something from their childhood or some traumatic event. Some like the taboo nature of being degraded, and others might enjoy it because it's fun, only when done in the right context. And the context is what matters for both praise and degradation kinks, and of course, consent.
Before diving deeper, it might be helpful to go over a brief background on how kinks like praise and degradation tend to overlap. Kinks can be formulated and discovered organically in childhood, or they are something that someone can gravitate towards later in life. For those who discovered interest in a kink that dates way back to their early years, they might explore that kink more as they grow up through finding erotic content that features the kink or exploring with sexual partners once they become sexually active.
Within the conversation of how kinks develop, it's important to note that it's totally normal for children to discover and explore aspects of sexuality in developmentally appropriate ways. Children are naturally curious about themselves and the world, though that curiosity can become stifled if a child is exposed to sex-negative messaging about sex or their bodies. Which brings us to another topic around kink, which is the stigma that surrounds it.
For many cultural and societal reasons, many people struggle with sexual shame, repress sexuality, and guilt, which can make exploring something taboo like kinks challenging. It can also make it more erotically charged. Someone who might find themselves feeling drawn to a certain kink might close themselves off or push down those desires, especially if they come from a more traditional or culturally conservative upbringing. Shame is a really powerful emotion, and when it's tied up in something natural like sexuality, people can struggle with their identity, their sense of self, their inability to be authentic, even behind closed doors.
So, whether you're exploring kinks for the first time or you're more experienced, there are some important things to consider when implementing kinks into your sexual relationships. If you have a partner, opening up a conversation about how you can explore together can be a really good first step in understanding their openness to kink. If you feel comfortable communicating to your partner that you enjoy praise or degradation and what specifically you enjoy about that kink or how you want to play it out, it can help guide you both in how to implement this into your sex play together.
With praise and degradation kinks, or really any kind of kink or sexual activity, you'll want to chat with your partner first before introducing something new, especially if you think it's something that they might not be familiar with or might be out of the norm for the two of you. If a sexual partner is not expecting it, a kink being sprung on them could catch them off guard and potentially could be uncomfortable or triggering for them. So, if your partner's game for exploring, then you can decide together how a praise or degradation kink can be added into your sexual play.
If your partner's not into kink or not into engaging in degradation or praise, then you may need to do some exploring individually. Thanks to kink becoming a more popular topic, there are lots of great articles out there about praise and degradation kinks, forums where people share their experiences, and books for exploring kink. If your partner's not game the first time you mention a kink, they may need some time to open up to process the information. So, without pushing them, you might ask if you and your partner can keep the conversation open and come back to it at a later time.
If your partner is really, really opposed to implementing any kind of kink or the kind of kink you like, you may have to explore how important it is to you and to your sex life to see if you can be okay without the kink being a part of your sexual experiences. Now, this does not give anyone the right to be sexual with someone in a way that they are not okay with or that they do not consent to, but you can create solo sex experiences that allow you to explore a different kind of sex than maybe your partner is up for.
So, if you've been curious about praise and degradation kinks, I hope this video has been helpful in understanding more about these two kinks and how to potentially explore or implement them into your sex life, if that aligns with you. So, that wraps up this video. What other questions do you have about more specific kinks? Drop your ideas in the comment section about any kinks you'd like to see covered in future videos, and don't forget to like, share, and subscribe to this channel if you'd like to hear about more topics like this one. Also, you can download our yes, no, maybe list in the caption for this video and use it as a guide to help you explore what kinks might be exciting for you and for your partner. See you next time.