Transcription
Mind blown from this next episode. What, what was it like sitting down with Rabbi Manis Friedman? Rabbi Manis Friedman, if you don't know him, he's YouTube's most popular rabbi. He has over 187,000 subscribers. Some of his videos have millions of views. It was a phenomenal sit-down. We discussed, what is it about money that makes the world go round? What advice would he give to someone who's extremely wealthy? What advice would he give to someone who has no money? Where do you go after you die? I mean, wow, we're getting like, uh, spiritual over here. It was phenomenal. It's crazy how spiritual money is, but I was blown away. Without exaggeration, I could see this as being one of our most viewed videos, and I'm excited to see what the audience thinks. Can't wait to listen. Take a look.
Being a Jew, awesome. Managing personal finances, not so awesome. Welcome to Kosher Money. Welcome, Rabbi Manis Friedman. This is a real treat for us. It's a little bit, uh, wild to see you in, in the flesh, because I've consumed so many of your videos, and you're usually behind the screen. So the fact that you walked in here with the glowing white beard, it feels like, uh, almost, uh, out of, uh, out of real life. But welcome. It's good to have you.
So if you type into Google, "the world revolves around," the first result that comes up is money. Yep. That's right. There, the world revolves around money. I don't know if necessarily it's true, but what is it about money that seemingly makes the world go round?
If you want to get to the heart of it, what is the need for money? Only the human being has this crazy lifestyle. The animal goes outside, looks around to find something to eat. No, but we have to go through schooling, training, apprenticeship, and finally, we got to get a job and then make some money, and then you can sit down to a meal and, and not starve. Like, why is that? It seems cruel and unusual punishment. So we have to think a little bit beyond and past just the money, because it really is a mystery. Why is it set up this way? You know, we have, you would think more noble things to do. So our food should be available more easily so that we can be free to do noble things. And yet, we have to spend most of our lives just preparing for the job that will make us the money that will buy us the food that will keep us from starving. And that's, it's crazy.
So the reason money makes the world go round is because that's our survival. But the question is, why? Why such a crazy system? And as long as we're talking about it, what is this craziness? We work six days a week so we can rest on one day. That's top-heavy. And I was like, we should work one day so we can rest in six. There's these movements across the world now where, fourth day? Yeah, yeah, because it should be that way, ideally.
So here's the precautionary, um, warning. You can get a lot of comfort from money. Your life is easier, more comfortable, broader, have a bigger vision. But it is not meant to produce happiness. And that's where the big mistake is. Yes, money will give you comfort. It will not give you happiness because it won't give you satisfaction. Feels good to be able to make money. You come in with a big wad, you know, you feel great. It's not happiness. So if you depend on the money for happiness, you're headed for a depression. And if not, you, then your kids say, "So what? So what? We have money. So we're rich." You know, it doesn't make for a happy life.
But the reason we have to do all this, and the reason we have such a complicated path to a sandwich, is because it's the only way that God can get us to interact with each other, to meet people we otherwise not meet, to get us to come out of our caves and feel mutually dependent on each other. In other words, it creates a more human existence. If you had your food outside, you know, just climb a tree and eat, we wouldn't be human the way we're meant to be. So instead of thinking of how much money am I making, how much money, who are you meeting? Who are you dealing with? Where is this taking you? What are you exposed to? And what good can come from that? The people you're dealing with, your buyers, your sellers, your customers, your employer, is there something that you're supposed to learn or give or receive, or some kind of human interaction that makes the world a better place?
If Adam and Eve hadn't eaten the apple, would this idea of money had existed? And if not, how else would we have interacted? So if you read, if you read it superficially, it sounds like the curse. The curse for eating from the tree of knowledge was that "by the sweat of your brow you shall eat bread." That means go to work, in simple language, get a job. So it sounds like a curse, and it can be a curse. But really, it's a hidden blessing. It's like saying, you can't just be yourself anymore. Now you have to interact with other people. You'll give, you'll take, you'll receive, you'll help each other in some way. But no more hermit kind of life in the Garden of Eden, just picking things off a tree.
There's a verse in Mishlei (The Book of Proverbs), "Tzedakah Tatzil Mimaves," that charity will save the donor, or can save the donor's life. What is it about charity that is so powerful, so much so that a donor can be saved from potential harm or death? With a little stretch of the imagination, giving charity means giving away your life. I mean, imagine you have only one dollar left, and you give it away. Well, what are you giving away? Your life, your survival. So you, in return, you deserve to receive life. So if you give life, you get life. If it's not always that dramatic, whereas your last dollar, but every dollar could be your last dollar. And what do you invest in? Making this dollar, pretty much your whole life. You got to wake up, you got to go, you got to work, you got to train, you got to look. It's your whole life.
Although we should make a distinction, there's a difference between existing and living. Huge difference. Existence means you take up space, literally. That's the scientific definition. How does this exist? It takes up space. What does it mean to take up space? Can't put another microphone in the same spot. So for human beings to exist means I take up space, which means you can't sit in my seat, it's mine, I was here first. We can't share the same space. If you take it to an extreme, Cain and Abel, Kayin (Cain) and Hevel (Abel) could not share the same space. They had the whole world, and they couldn't share it. They must have had huge egos. Everything was huge back then. So existence means to take up space, which means intolerant of anything invading your space. In addition to that, in order to exist, you have to have certain resources. You need food, you need drink, you need shelter, you need warmth, you need cooling, you need all sorts of things just to survive, just to exist. So if you have everything you need for your existence, what have you accomplished? Nothing. No one is invading your space, and tomorrow you can do it all over again. You'll eat, you'll drink. So really, it's kind of depressing. And that's what we call existential angst. It, it hurts to exist. And that's why we're always asking, "What is the purpose? Why am I here? What's your problem? You don't want to be here." I want to be here, but I can't figure out why. Like, what for? So that I can not let you into my house because it's my house? And then give me food, give me drink, give me this, give me that. It's embarrassing and a little depressing. If I take my existence more seriously, I worry about it. I stay up at night worrying about my space and my, I'm going to get seriously depressed.
But then there's also life. Life means, what effect does your existence make on the world around you? Your being here, your being, your existence has an effect. That's what justifies your existing. So life means, what are you contributing? So the fundamental difference is, existence is demanding, needy. Life is giving, needed. Before we get to making a living, having money, getting rich, not getting rich, one thing has to be clear. We can't function as needy creatures. We have to see ourselves as needed creatures. Changes everything. That alone, like the depression is gone. Who, who needs us? Is it, and, and I've heard talks from you in the past, and I would like to get into that a little bit. But who needs us? Is it other humans that need us? Does God need us? What, what, how do you look at needed?
Yes, both. Some would say or push back and, and say, "God doesn't need us. God has everything." Well, let's put it this way. God's plan needs us. The plan can't work without us. God wants this world to become a godly place. Well, the only way that can happen is if we do it. Because if He does it, then it's not this world. Then, then it's heaven. He wants earth to become godly, meaning by its own limited, you know, fallible, clumsy way, to somehow get to be godly. So, yeah, it depends. It depends on us completely.
You touched on the idea of making a lot of money. Some people struggle to make ends meet. Let's talk about those two extremes. If there are those listening that have come into a lot of money, whether through inheritance or through their hard work, or not hard work, they're sitting on a pile of cash. What advice would you give to people in the, in that state?
Yeah, there are people who win the lottery and their life is ruined. [Music] It's, it's a serious, common event. Um, being wealthy or being poor has only one significant consequence. You're gonna meet different people. If you're rich, you meet a certain kind of people. If you're poor, you meet a different kind of people. So your, your wealth or your poverty takes you where you can do the most good in God's plan. So if you're poor, it's because you need to deal with people that, that live in that circle, in that universe. If you're rich, it's only because you need to be affecting people who are in, in that stratosphere. So always look beyond the dollar. You know, like, "Follow the money." [Music] No, follow where the money takes you. Notice what's going on in your life. And, you know, you went to make money, but you end up accomplishing something much more significant. You know, somebody you're dealing with, they don't look so happy today, and you ask them what's the matter, and they've got a serious problem, and you suggest something, you help them, or you just encourage them and put them in a better frame of mind. You could have saved a life just there.
Does that mean to say that those who are poor, and the people that meet, that this is their lot in life, and therefore for them to strive to get out of that is not something that they should be focusing on? Meaning, accept their lot? We talk about "Osher" (happiness). "Osher" has because someone who's happy is someone who's, um, content, or who's rich. Someone who is content with their lot, is that a life sentence almost? Is that saying basically, "Hey, don't strive for something more because real richness is, you have it, it's there already"? Or no, someone can actually do their efforts and, and their hashtag list to strive for something higher?
You always strive for higher, otherwise you'll never be rich. So that statement from the sages, "Who is rich? The one who is content with his lot." Never going to happen. If you're content, you don't get rich. You sit home. Among the rich people, who is handling it and who is not handling it? In other words, not who is rich, who knows how to be rich. So it's not bait and switch. You want to know who's rich? Somebody who doesn't care if he's rich. No, no, don't do that to me. Should have said, "Who's happy?" A person who doesn't care. Okay, but don't tell me he's rich and then tell me he's happy with being poor. [Music] Not honest.
So we're talking about a person who is rich, seriously rich. But there are those whose wealth make their life more livable, and there are those whose wealth make their life miserable. So what it's saying is, who is wealthy? In other words, who is a healthy, wealthy person, who's handling their wealth well? The one who is content with their, with their life, not with their money. If you're content with your money, you're not going to make any more. That is not the nature of wealthy people. So people, a person gets rich, they say, "All of a sudden, you win the lottery or you inherit a lot of money, and all of a sudden your wife is not good enough for you, and your children are annoying, and your car is too old-fashioned, and your house is too small, and even, even your congregation and your community is not for you." Your whole life has to be exchanged. Why? Because you have money. That money is killing you. It's destroying you. So people who inherit a lot of money, they, they need a little counseling, some cautionary notes, because it doesn't, it doesn't, the suddenness of it, you know, they don't, they don't have time to digest it and to work it out, and they don't grow into it, which is also, they didn't work for it. That, that, that is deadly. Undeserved, unearned. It's a gift, but it can be a poison. Which is why an honest day's work is what brings happiness, not the money that comes from it. So if you make more money than you feel you deserve, you're going to be thrilled, but you're going to be miserable. It doesn't give the contentment that life is supposed to give. So the great people in the past, the people we always looked up to as role models and so on, any money that came to them undeserved, they gave it away immediately. "This is not really mine because I didn't earn it." So if they find money, give it away. They want to live off what they earned and deserved.
We had a guest here, uh, David Bashevkin, who spoke about "Gvir (wealth) Culture," where a lot of people in Orthodox Jewish circles, and it's not even just in Orthodox Jewry, look up to the wealthy, and their opinions matter when it comes to the community. You're rich, they think you really know. Right? Is, is that, is that a problem? In the sense that we respect them for their wealth, but then we also suddenly value their opinion? If they were to lose a lot of their wealth, I don't know if we would value their opinion. Um, how do we, how do we tackle that Gvir culture?
I think if we look more closely, people are not jealous of their money. They're jealous of their confidence. Because rich people are confident, come across. And they're jealous of their happiness. "If I could be as happy without the money, I would be perfectly okay with that." If I could have the confidence of a rich person without being rich, I wouldn't mind. So it's not the money that we're jealous of and that we're admiring. You admire somebody who speaks with confidence, even, even if they shouldn't, because they don't know what they're talking about. But you know, the same hap, same thing happens when you publish a book. If you're an author, then you are an expert on every subject that has nothing to do with your book. But, "Oh, he wrote a book, well, he knows everything." Which is so, again, it's, it's not the book, it's not the money, it's the confidence. We can all use a little more confidence.
Well said. Let's go to the opposite side. We were talking about an abundance of wealth. For those not making ends meet and watching this video, it's, it's a real struggle, right? They, they're receiving letters in the mail from credit card companies, they have debt. What, what do you tell someone like that who knocks on your door, not looking for a check, but for advice?
That is dangerous. The reason people are not making a living, you know, can be so many different things. And if it, if you, if you focus on the wrong thing, you're just going to make the person more miserable. Why can't you get a job? Let's not, let's not go there because, you know, who knows. Woody Allen, in the beginning of his career, had a, a record, an actual album of comedy, and he has this routine about how he was in a car accident, and he had a near-death experience. He was dying, and his life flashed before his eyes, and he saw his father Zeke coming in from the fields with the cows, and his sister Annabelle was bringing the eggs in from the chicken coop. "Wait, wait, I'm a Jewish boy from Brooklyn. The wrong life is flashing before my eyes, and I got two minutes to live." The wrong life cannot flash before your eyes. It does not happen.
So the poor man who looks at the rich man and says, "Isn't that supposed to be my life? What am I doing here? I'm supposed to be..." No, your life is never wrong for you. Because if it's your life, well, first of all, it's the only one you have. So don't knock it. But if it's your life, live it. It's yours. It's not like my life took a wrong turn and all of a sudden I'm not where I'm supposed to be. You're exactly where you're supposed to be. So it's not like, it's not like the rich man took your life away, stepped into your shoes and pushed you out. No, he's got his life, you got yours. Again, look past the dollars. What does your life consist of? Which people do you interact with? What issues do you handle? They're different. This is where you belong. If you were rich, God wouldn't need you. So it's not going to happen that way. But you can go from one to the other. Rich people become poor, unfortunately, and poor people become rich. That means you fulfilled your function and purpose in this field. Now you're being moved. Where you change careers, you change professions, you meet different people. So when God decides to move you, He'll move you. But never jealous of someone else's life.
Why? The cost of Jewish living, and we ran through the numbers, is extremely high in comparison to the cost of an American non-Jewish family. Where if you live in the tri-state area, in order to just make it without any lavish vacations and things of that nature, you need to be in the top three to five percent of income earners in America, assuming you're paying full tuition and, um, you're keeping kosher. And the cost of living is admittedly a lot higher. How do, how do we look at that? And, and for those that, and we always say it's a beautiful living, but it's, it can feel strenuous to some. How should people look at that, specifically Orthodox Jews?
The biggest challenge, the most noble challenge, is the idea that he who gave life will also give meals. If He gives you life, He's going to give you what to eat. Relax. You're not starving, you're not dying, you're not going anywhere. So the stress is a little self-inflicted. It's really not in our control at all. And when you get right down to it, being smart does not guarantee wealth. I mean, look at who's real, look at who's wealthy. They didn't get there by being smart. And look at all the people who are poor who are brilliant, and they tried it all. They did exactly the same thing the rich guy did, and they did it better, and nothing came from it. And the other guy didn't know what he was doing, and everything turns up roses. You know, so it's obviously out of our control.
On Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year), every year, God decides how much money you're going to make that year. It's written in stone. There's nothing you can do to change it. So worrying is certainly not going to help. Staying up all night, putting in extra hours, it's not going to help. It's not going to make a difference. It's, it's deceiving. I mean, you, you work on Saturday, come home with a couple of thousand dollars of profit. What do you mean? I didn't, I made more money by working on Shabbos (Shabbat/the Sabbath)? That's not called making money. If next day you get sued for ten thousand dollars, and there goes all your money down the drain, right? So making money doesn't mean it's in the cash register. The question is, where does it go from the cash register? To doctor's bills, God forbid, to lawsuits, to losses. So in the end, by the end of the year, you will have exactly the amount of money that was decreed on Rosh Hashanah.
So there are those that say, if that's the case, where it's all decreed on the Jewish New Year, why put in the effort during the year?
Very good question. Basically, what we're saying is, making a living is a miracle. It's a, it's it's an act of God, it's divine intervention. But we're not supposed to rely on miracles. We have to live an earthly life and allow the miracles. But we can't live on miracles. If you're not feeling well, you have to go to a doctor. To say, "God, you know, God will help me." You know the story with the boat and the car and the share? The story, let's say some guy was caught in a flood, and a truck came by picking up people. "Come, we'll save you." He says, "Oh, no, I'm a believer. God will save me." So the truck leaves. And the water rises, and a boat comes by, a canoe. He says, "Come on, I'll save you." "Don't worry about me. God will save me." Now he's up on the roof of his house, and, uh, a helicopter comes by, ready to pick him up. And he says, "Don't worry about it." Anyway, he drowns. So he comes to heaven and he says to God, "Hey, I trusted you. I believed in you. Why didn't you help me?" Because I didn't help you? I sent you a truck. I sent you a boat. I sent you..." In other words, God wants nature to function as nature, not to be ignored. But miracles come into nature because nature alone can't exist.
So if you want to be richer, there is something you have to do. Open a bigger store. You know, you can't have a little shop and say, "I want to make millions." You got to create a vessel that can hold or contain the blessing you're looking for. So the guy says, "I'll open a little shop on the corner. I'll come in once a week, a couple of hours, and whatever God wants will happen anyway." Yeah, well, you're not allowing it to happen because you're not, you know, like on Purim (Jewish holiday/festival), if you extend your hand for charity, there's a mitzvah (commandment) to give. Call up, guy doesn't stick his hand out, you expect people to force money into your pocket? So at the very least, you got to put your hand out, show that you're ready to receive. So by opening a bigger store, you're saying, "I'm ready to take on bigger, bigger responsibility, bigger, bigger income." But if I don't want that, I just want to be, just sit and wait for your uncle to die and inherit his money. So that's not the way God wants it to be.
The joke with the boat reminds me of the fellow who's driving around looking for a parking spot, and he says, "God, please, I need a parking spot." And he's circling, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20, after 30 minutes, he finds a parking space. Says, "God, no, I found one. Forget it. I'm good."
So this idea that someone has to stretch out their hand or create a bigger shop or a larger vessel, at what point is his hand stretched out enough? At what point is his shop large enough that he's created a vessel? And the crux of the question is, how much effort is sufficient? Does one need to be working late into the night in order to show God that he's making as much effort as he possibly could, thereby sacrificing other pieces in his life?
You know the famous saying, "Don't work harder, work smarter." Work smarter. Putting in more time, day and night, you know, no, that that's not making a bigger vessel. That's just making a mess out of yourself. You open the larger store. There is natural opportunity for the blessing. Step. The bigger store reaches its maximum, right? It's, and it's not enough. So open a bigger store. But you don't spend more hours trying to force more blessings into the store you have. It has reached its capacity. In the small store, you were making a hundred thousand a year. Now you're making five hundred thousand a year. But that's all you're going to make in this store. Now you've got to open a chain of stores if you want to be a millionaire. But you can't just keep working on that store day and night, day and night. So you just keep enlarging the vessel when you're ready, so that there can be a bigger blessing.
Would it be wrong for someone to tell God that if God was to make me more financially successful, I'll be able to give more charity and do more good things with this money, as he's striving to create a larger vessel? Or that would be the wrong way to look at it?
It's not a good idea to make deals with God because he'll always outsmart you. Don't make deals. But you should, in your intention, have in mind that the more I have, the more I share. It's not a deal. It's not, you know, "I'm not making conditions with God. If you make me wealthy, I'll give charity." No, I'm going to give whatever I have. I'm going to give 10%, 15%, whatever, because, because that's what you're supposed to do. It's not, it's not a, not signing a contract or anything, right? So don't make pledges. We were told before, "Don't make pledges." I'm assuming, given your role as a rabbi in a community, that couples and families do come to you with their financial related questions. What would you say is the common theme of those questions where they seek advice or maybe have some sort of friction in their life?
Hardly anybody asks me for financial advice. Should they be? No, thank you very much. But usually, it's just the tip of the iceberg. Some friction between them that is blamed on the money, but it's never the money. One thing we know for sure, if a guy is trying to make a living, he has to, he has to first make sure that his wife is happy. Because God is giving him money not only for himself, but for his wife and for his family. Well, if your family is not with you, and your wife is not with you, then you're not gonna get. Like a guy says, "I'm single. I just barely make enough to live on. How am I going to get married?" So what, you want God to give you enough money for two when you're just, you become two? And God will give you money for two. Become ten? God will give you money for ten. But what do you want money for ten before you even get married? Make any sense.
You've hit on something there where there has been, um, discussion from families, given the cost of say, private Yeshiva school tuition, that people are nervous to have more kids because that will mean larger expenses. You're saying that's a backwards way of thinking?
That is that is defeatist. That's intimidation. It's giving up on life. And it's giving up on life in favor of a better existence. Never do that.
Wow. We have lists and lists of why. I told the fans that the few fans that we have, less than a dozen, about Rav Manis Friedman, and they're very familiar. I think you now have over 187,000 subscribers on YouTube, not that you count. Um, what are, what are some of the common themes of the more popular videos that you've released that you've seen resonate with your audience?
Interestingly, the one, the one talk that gets eight million hits, wow, is the one about life after death. Everybody, I don't know why. What are we all so afraid of dying? What's going on here? And it's been over years, not just Corona. And what, you know, everybody wants to know about that. We'll link to it in our show notes to ensure that people get to see it. But what is it about life after death? Is it, uh, what happens when you die? Where, where do you go? What do you, what do you do? And you can't take your money with you either. [Music]
Do you see that as people get older, they become wiser as it relates to what's important in life? We spoke about leaving a legacy and, and being needed. As people get older, do they realize the importance of that? Or the way they are?
Hopefully not always. Unfortunately, but I tell you this, Corona. [Music] It, it has brought a lot of wisdom, not only to old people, to all people. And this is really, I think, relevant to this conversation. Do we want to go back to business as usual? Does anybody want to go back to work? No. I hope not. Because the work environment has been so toxic, so inhumane. We should never go back to that. The greed, the competition, the stress. Everybody's on anti-anti-stress, anti-anxiety pills. This is not a way to live. This is crazy. Don't want to go back to that.
So talk to anybody who runs a big company. They have a hundred employees, just to pick a round number. Every one of those employees comes in at nine, stays till five. It's a waste of time. Ask the head of that company, if all of these people came in at nine and left at three, would you make any less money? No. What about if they left at twelve? Would you make any less money? Probably not. So what are you keeping them there for? What you're doing is you're giving them too many hours for the amount of work they're going to do. So they get kind of sloppy, you know, "What's a rush? I got more hours. I got more time. I'll do it soon. I'll do it later. I'll take a break. I'll go." If you had three hours of focused work, you would make as much money as you make now. So what they should do is put in the three hours, take a lunch break, and then get back together to figure out ways of making the community better. You've made your money. Now let's think about everybody else. You're capable people, obviously. You're employed, you're making, you're creative, you're intelligent. So why not spend a couple of hours trying to do something for your neighborhood, for your community, for your congregation, or for the world, if you're that big? People would come to work with a whole different attitude. It wouldn't be this greedy, grabbing rat race. Who needs that?
It's a phenomenal idea. We had spoke about realistic ways on how we can lower tuition costs, and one of the ideas was a large accounting firm that has the resources to help a school manage their finances or their back end, where it wouldn't be much skin off of their back, but if they allocated X amount of hours employees to that cause, they can help a communal organization. And, uh, it's within the theme of tapping into this. Are, are you familiar with any companies that are doing something like that? Or this one company that I spoke to is doing it? In what industry? Real estate. Real estate. And has it impacted their business in a negative way? No. And the employees appreciate and they see the value in giving back. Yeah. So going to work is not a grind. It's not a burden. It's not suddenly, it's a noble thing to do. And it does bring happiness, which money can't.
I just heard this cute, I don't know how much time do we have. A few more minutes. There's this little, uh, scene where this guy says to God, "I can't do this. I can't. I work, I work, I run, I do. I have no life. I have no life. I'm down to 20 bucks. I have no life. Give me a life." So God says, "Really? No life? Give me the 20 bucks. I'll give you a life." The guy says, "Okay, well, well, if I give you the 20 bucks, I won't have any money for gas for the car." God says, "Oh, you have a car? Give me the 20 dollars on the car, and I'll give you a life." Says, "Oh, wait. If I don't have a car, how am I gonna get to work?" So God said, "Oh, you have a job. So give me the job and the car and the 20 dollars. I'll give you a life." It's like that joke about, "Bring me, bring the cat into the house, and bring the goat into the house, and bring..." Anyway. So he says, "All right, but if I give you my job, how am I going to pay the mortgage?" So God said, "Oh, you have a house. Give me the house, the job, the car. I'll give you..." He says, "But if I give you the house, where's my family gonna live?" He's, "Oh, you have a family? Give me the family, give me the house, give me the job, give me the car, under 20 bucks. I'll give you a life." He says, "Okay." God says, "Good. Now, here's 20 bucks. Here's a car. Here's a job. Here's a house. And here's a family. You got a life." We sometimes think like, you're chasing your life and you're running in the wrong direction. You have a life for which you're willing to go to work to support. Don't forget them. And then complain you have no life.
This is the challenge of today. Women are going to work, not only because they need another check, but because women are tired of being a one-parent family, because men are not part of the family. They got careers. So for a long time, women put up with it, thinking, "Yeah, that's, you know, men supporting their families, beautiful." It turns out men aren't supporting their families. Their career comes first. In fact, the family is like an annoyance. Their wife calls in the middle of the day, "What do you want? I'm busy. Have no time for family." I'm so, the wives realized they're alone. And eventually they said, "Look, you're not going to be part of the family, neither am I. I don't want to be a one-parent family." So I'm going to work too. The problem is, they both forgot that they have a life. And they're so focused on existing that it's really depressing.
We have now on the Living Lchaim Network, our YouTube channel, tens of thousands of subscribers that are not even Jewish, that appreciate the, the wisdom that our guests have been sharing. What, and, and it's been eye-opening to non-Jews who may not have had exposure to the world of Judaism. In Trinidad, and South Africa, and Australia, maybe even in Minnesota as well. If you had a message for our non-Jewish community, um, not necessarily on behalf of the Jewish people, but something for them to know about Judaism that they have not been exposed to, what, what would that be? Whether it be a message or something to know about Orthodox Jews and, and Judaism and Torah?
Now, we're always very proud and keep reminding the world, "We gave you monotheism." That was 4,000 years ago. What have we done lately? Yeah, that was great. That was really, really great. There's hardly ever, you know, there's hardly any idolatry going on. You know, monotheism is a universally accepted principle. There's one God. That's it. Okay. You know, we can debate, you know, Christianity and these Muslims that have a little difference of opinion on that, but, but the principle is there, right? There's one God. What, what more can we share? Being a light to the nations. What, what are we offering? Ten Commandments, they got it. The Bible, they got it. Now, what? I think the message which everyone needs to hear. This one God that we believe in, who created the whole world, He has a big investment in His creation. Huge investment. Because there was only Him at the beginning, and what was wrong with that? Why wasn't He perfectly content? There's just Him. No complaints, no no demands, no clutching, nobody's accusing Him of being cruel. Why did He mess it up? There must be a really strong driving interest to make all this worthwhile for Him. And we've been ignoring that. We're so focused on what we need Him to do for us, we forget that His investment is the big one. I mean, if this world disappears, would I care? It's not my problem. It's His world. He cares. So again, we've put ourselves in such a needy position in our relationship with God that it has become a one-way relationship, which is no relationship at all. When we serve God, we're literally giving Him something that He can get only from us. Otherwise, it's not a service. You want God to help you, to save you, to protect you, to bless you, and that's called serving Him. It's so self-serving. It's not, it's not nice. It's like a bad marriage. So what we need to do is realize that we are here on a mission to fulfill His plan, what He needs from this world, from us. So we are needed, not needy. Everything we do is part of His plan. Why do I have to go to work? I don't know. That's how He set it up. You want to call it a curse, whatever, but I didn't do this. Why do I even need to eat three times a day? I want to quit. I can't. Why? Because it was never my idea in the first place. God needs me to consume food. It was His design. So instead of feeling so needy and constantly making demands of God, "Give me, help me, teach me, show me, love me," it's narcissistic. We have to become a little more noble than that. A little bit. You wake up in the morning, "What can I do for God's world? What does God need from me?" Because I am needed. I really have not many needs because I didn't ask for this. So why do I need to eat? I didn't ask to be born.
It's an interesting thing that's happening now. It's like the cutting edge of people are no longer threatened by death the way they used to be. Like teenagers, you say, "Don't, don't mess with drugs. Dangerous." They say, "Yeah, so like, what?" "Well, it might kill you." "Yeah, what's your point?" In the olden days, that was enough said. You got to get up and plow the field, back-breaking work, and you got to milk the cow 4 o'clock in the morning, or you're going to die. Oh, that's it, right? Need, what was, what is the expression? "Need is the mother of all invention." We were driven by need. Well, something happened in the last couple of years, and people are saying, "You know what? I don't care. I can't live my entire life so that I don't die. It doesn't make sense." So you better tell me something more meaningful than, "Oh, you're gonna die."
Where does that apathy come from? It's not apathy. I, I think we're getting closer to the truth. Because that has been the reality. "You must live because otherwise you'll die." That is not a logical argument. You have to live so that you live and not die. No. So when we ask, "What is the purpose of life?" we're not depressed. We haven't given up on life. We're just saying, "There's got to be more to this than just not dying." So all of a sudden, there's a, there's a certain wisdom that is dawning on the world. "I am not needy because I don't need any of this, and you can't threaten me with death because why must I be alive? Why? I like it. I'm fine. I'm not suicidal. But why?" Now we need to come up with some answers. And that's why people are turning to Judaism. Judaism is the only source for information that makes this world significant to God. Because most religions, "No, this world is just a pain. You know, get through it quickly with as few scars as possible and go to a better world." Uh, that doesn't help make life here any better. Judaism is a living Godliness, not a heavenly one. It doesn't dismiss this world in favor of paradise. And that's why Jews don't really want to go to, and we don't go to heaven. Oh, can't you just wait? Can't wait to get to heaven? Oh, I can wait. I can wait. As long as I have no interest in going to heaven. What's there in heaven? When you die, which you shouldn't, but when you do, in heaven, you are pampered. You're retired. You did your job. You're a good boy. Here, enjoy. We don't want, we don't want to be retired. We want to be productive. We want to be active. We want to be contributing to God's plan. So the message of Judaism, go back to your question, the message of Judaism is, don't go to heaven. Don't even think about heaven. Bring God here. Don't go there. And all the souls that are in heaven, they're miserable because they can't wait to come back. Here's where all the action is. And there is no better place.
Is there a book that you have not written that you recommend to people to read? People are always looking to hear what inspires and interests our guests. Is there a book, whether related to finance or not, that you recommend to people?
A good book on life, um, "Towards a Meaningful Life." Oh, it's called "Towards a Meaningful Life." Okay. We'll put that in the show notes.
People who do have follow-up questions for you, I'm assuming there will be many. Is there a good way to reach out to you? A website, an email address? If they Google your name, I'm sure they'll be able to find you.
The best way is to go to itsgoodtoknow.org. It'sgoodtoknow.org.
Do you receive quite a bit of, uh, communication?
It's good to know. Yes. It's good to know. It'sgoodtoknow.org.
Wonderful. Well, thank you so much for joining us, Rav Manis Friedman. Looking forward to having you back again soon, and we appreciate your time.
Pleasure. Thank you. Thank you for watching another episode of Kosher Money. Talking about kosher and money, you know, it's free. What is subscribing to this YouTube channel or subscribing to wherever they're listening to this podcast? Listeners from dozens of countries are pouring in. We love your feedback. This video, unlike most of our others, has timestamps on the bottom, and that was because of your feedback. You wanted it, you got it. What else do you want? Let us know. We should have swag, by the way. Kosher Money swag. We should work on that. Okay. But if you have an iPhone, head over to the podcast app, search Kosher Money, subscribe there, give us five stars, write a review. It really helps us in the rankings, brings more people in, and we love it. Like, that's our juice. Like, we, we get like, weak when it's not. And then Kosher Money, five stars, we just, energy boost. Yeah, love that. Spotify, I think you can rate on Spotify now. If you have any questions, financial questions, hit up info@livingsmarterjewish.org. Zevi and the team there have received hundreds of questions. Emails, the budgeting sheet that's been off the hook. And guests, if you have guest suggestions, we want to know. Yeah, and you can go on our website, go to livinglchaim.com, and there's a nice form, very short, and you fill out who we should have on, why, and that's really easy and simple to do. Well, I think we covered everything in this outro. Yes. See you next week. The Kosher Money podcast is hosted by Ellie Lenger, run by Zevi Wohlmann, Ellie Lenger, and myself, Jakov Lenger. And it is produced by Living Lchaim. For more awesome podcasts and shows, check out livinglchaim.com. Check us out on YouTube or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Living with [Music] you.