Transcription
You're watching Yu-gi-oh! ...when you could be outside doing something else.
Joey: Finally, fresh air! I love the smell of card games in the morning.
Téa: Look guys, we're right outside Pegasus' castle.
Joey: Now we just gotta win the prize money, and then I can buy some new friends.
Yugi: What about your sister Joey?
-Yeah, can buy a new sister, too.
Téa: I'm glad Bakura's gay, otherwise we never would have gotten out of that cave.
Bakura: Oh, so just because I have a gay-dar, you automatically assume I'm gay... bloody tart.
*Opening Theme* ♪ "Kawaita Sakebi Ga" ♫
*Opening Theme* ♪ "Todoke Fly At Higher Gaaaammmmeeee" ♫
Yugi: Hey Téa, remember the time we became friends?
Téa: No, but I do remember the 4kids version... Welcome to Kentucky Fried McBurger King, where all our meat is freshly slaughtered. Oh shoot! It's those dorks from school. They'll drive away our customers with all their talk of card games. I've got to do something...
Joey: Hey Yugh, you know what they call a quarter pounder in France? A Royale with cheese, it's all because of the metric system.
Yugi: I wonder what they call the Super-Special-Awesome burger?
Téa: Kiss my grits you geeks!
Yugi: Holy cow! I think I'm in love.
Téa: I don't want to be just a waitress my whole life, you know.... I'm saving up my money to become a table dancer in New York.
Joey: Hey, that's where my accent used to live.
Téa: The next day, I found a suspicious note in my locker. (Voiceover): Dear Téa, we found you a secret dance studio, please come at once. P.S. Bring lots of money so that I can steal it from you.
Téa: Well, this is just about the worst dance studio ever. Hey, are you my dance instructor?
Mugger: Just hand over all your money girlie.
Téa: Screw you man! I'm not paying for lessons. (I was unconscious for this next part, but fortunately I can still remember it.)
Yami: I'm here for my ballet classes. I should warn you I look damn good in a tutu.
Mugger: Get lost, I'm trying to mug this girl.
Yami: You won't like me when I'm angry... *HULK SMASH*
Téa: When I woke up, I was staring at the man of my dreams.
Yami: Hey, sweet cheeks. You want to get off the dance floor? I'm about to shake my moneymaker...
Téa: And then we got married and had two beautiful children.
Yugi: I'm pretty sure I don't remember that part. Hey Téa, do you still have that waitress uniform?
Tristan: Hey! Stop developing your characters... We have card games to play.
Yugi: Look everyone! Some random loser is blocking our path.
Kaiba: Ever since you beat me in that first episode, nobody has been able to take me seriously. But that will all change, once I defeat you in a children's card game.
Bakura: That Kaiba bloke needs to get shagged.
Kaiba: I have to beat Yugi, if I ever want to see my little brother again. I miss you Mokuba.
*The Way We Were - Barbara Streisand*
Hmmm... Perhaps I should consider keeping him on a leash.
Yami: I accept your challenge Kaiba, kicking your butt never gets old.
Kaiba: Let's play on the roof as a homage to Clerks. We'll use my new duel disk system because I have a hard-on for technology.
Joey: Don't worry Yugh! We'll be supporting you all the way.
Tristan: $10 bucks on Kaiba!
Téa: $50 bucks on Kaiba!
Bakura: £100 quid on Kaiba!
Bandit Keith: I've won 10 star chips. In America.
Hair Guy: My hair is inviting you to enter the castle.
-Don't mind if I do... Man, that guy sure likes talking about his hair.
Hair Guy: Man, that guy sure likes talking about America.
Kaiba: You may have beaten me before Yugi, But this time I have the upper hand. I've placed my faith in the heart of the cards. And without Exodia, you have no chance of overcoming my unstoppable Blue-Eyes White Dragons.
Yami: Yeah, well at least I'm not adopted.
-What did you just say? Sorry did I touch a nerve? Why don't you run home and cry to mummy? Oh that's right, you don't have one.
-Yugi, I respect you as a duelist, but if you continue to act like a petulant child th...
Hey everybody look at me, I'm Seto Kaiba! I have a dragon fetish and I sound like Brock from Pokemon
Screw the rules, I'm in love with Nurse Joy!
-(Triggered) That's it Moto, you're f*cking dead.
-With this card, I'll be able to combine three of my Blue-Eyes White Dragons -in order to summon a monster without peer, a monster so powerful that...
FOR THE LOVE OF RA!! Just play the damn card already.
-Fine. Come forth Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!
Oh Poopy...
Joey: Get up on the hydra's back Yug!
Yami: I activate Asexual Reproduction... Prepare to be completely smothered by my Giant Hairy Balls...
Bandit Keith: This is almost as exciting as my favorite movie: Pearl Harbor. Those Japanese bastards got what was coming to them... in America.
Yami: I shall fuse my Mammoth Graveyard with your dragon, causing it to decay from the inside.
Kaiba: How the hell did you do that?
It's called cheating, deal with it.
-I'd rather die than lose to my arch-rival.
Bakura: Oh my! If Yugi attacks, the shockwaves could send Kaiba flying right off the edge of the castle...
Kaiba: Your gay friend is right, Yugi.
-I'm not gay. I'm just British.
Yami: Dude, don't you think you're overreacting a little? I mean it's just a card game.
Kaiba: Card games are serious business, now unleash your attack if you have the guts...
Joey: This is awesome, Yugi's gonna kill Kaiba.
Tristan: I've always dreamed this moment would come.
Yami: Kaiba must die.
-Yugi: But what would grandpa say?
Grampa: YUUUGII!! Kill that son-of-a bitch.
Téa: Yugi no! You can't take this risk, he might survive...
Yugi: She's right. We can't. Stop!
Bandit Keith: I don't believe it, Yugi forfeited the match to Kaiba. Ben afleck would be ashamed. In America.
Kaiba: I knew my emo strategy would pay off. You geeks are so gullible.
Yugi: I lost a card game... I no longer have a reason to live.
Bakura: In that case, can I be the main character?
-Hell no. Bugger.
*Loser - Beck*
Dragonball Z: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?
-Its over 9000!
What?! 9000?!