Transcription
Do you ever look back at somebody that you dealt with in the past and you're just like, "Ew, what was I thinking?" Like, why did I date that person? Why did I deal with that person? I would never do that again. Well, what if I can get you to think that about yourself in only 30 days? In 30 days, I can teach you how to train your brain so you can look back at the current you, the you that says they're going to go to the gym and then they quit. The you that says they're going to start that business but they never start. The you that says they're going to change your life but they never do. I can get you in 30 days to look at the current you today and say, "I can't believe I didn't start. I can't believe I didn't continue. I would never let that thing happen again." Very similar to that, man. So let me teach you my 30-day detox on how to literally become unrecognizable. So, of course, let's get straight into it.
Now, the first step of this thing is I want you to figure out what you need to detox. The reason why I'm going to mention detox in this video a lot, and the reason why it's so imperative, is because I often say a big reason why it's hard for a lot, a lot of people to become the person they want to become, to become unrecognizable, is because they are building themselves on shaky ground. They are already habits that you have that are unhealthy. There are already things that you do that are unhealthy. But what do you do? Instead of getting rid of those things, instead of trying to figure out those things, you build a skincare routine on top of those things. You build a gym journey on top of those things. Essentially, you try to do all these things, but the foundation of the things that you do that aren't working for you are still there, and you're wondering why it doesn't work. So you, you literally need to detox these things. You literally need to take these things out of yourself. So when you are building your new self, your, your current self that you want to be, it is going to be on a clean, solid ground.
So the first step is figuring out what you are addicted to. And before some people are kind of like, "Well, I'm not addicted to nothing." Everybody's addicted to something. And when you are thinking about what you are addicted to, I would think about anything that you do every single day that you have to do. A lot of people, it's at least their cell phone. But for some of us, it's often, often more. Um, I've talked about a lot in my video about, so weird even saying it, but my addiction to romance books. Anyways, um, nonetheless, this is something that you do at high volume. This is something that you have to do consistently. This is something that usually takes up a lot of your time. And also think about, in 10 years, would you want to be doing this thing as much as you are doing it now?
Now, when I think of addictions, right? I don't want some people to be like, "Well, right now I'm in school, and that takes up a lot of my time, and of course, in 10 years, I don't want to be in school." No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about those things that you know that you do in life that take you away from your goals. Those things that you know that you do in life that consume a lot of your energy. The things that you know that you do in life that you do excessively. And the things that some people don't want to admit they're addicted to, but when is the last time you went two, three days without doing that thing? That's the first step. So the first step I want you to figure out is what are you currently addicted to? And I know a lot of people don't like that word, but that's the one that we are using because that's the one I think that will be synonymous for a lot of people. So what is your addiction? That's the first step to figure out.
Now, the reason why this is so imperative to figure out what your addiction is, and I'm going to explain this, is because in our brains, we kind of have triggers for things. Like why we do things and we don't do things. And we're going to think about it like this, as being pain and comfortability. When you are addicted to something, your brain becomes addicted to comfortability. That thing releases dopamine in your brain, the happy chemical, the chemical that tells it, "Oh my gosh, I want to keep doing that thing." And the problem is, let's think about it like a seesaw, right? If you're constantly doing something for hours on end, if you're doing something that's taking up so much time and so much energy for you, and especially if it's not pushing you towards your goals or the person that you want to be, you are going to be uneven. So your comfortability, sorry, is going to be the one that you're sitting down on. Think about it like that on a seesaw. It is going to be something that is all the way down. And then what's all the way up? Then that means your pain point is going to be all the way up.
And I've said this before in many videos, but the brain cannot distinguish, a lot of times, physical pain from mental pain. So what happens when your pain is already up? Your brain is going to perceive things as being painful that just are normal life things. That's why if you're addicted to something such as your cell phone, it could be a drug, it can be for me, certain kind of books, um, something that you're addicted to, right? It is going to be harder for you to do things that are considered hard because your brain is going to see as being painful. It's going to be heightened. Think about it like this, right? Let's say if you burned yourself before, especially ladies, you know, we curl our hair, straighten our hair, we burned ourselves. Or if you cook, you burned yourself with some grease or something like that. That area that you burn yourself on, previous to burning yourself, let's say it was your arm. You can touch your arm, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't bother you. But as soon as you burn yourself, if you try to touch that same spot, "Ow, it hurts so badly." It's sensitive. That's the same thing with our brains. When we push towards comfortability all the time, when we go towards our addiction all the time, our pain senses are heightened. So that's why it's hard for you, literally, to be bored. That's why it's hard for you when you're confused and you're trying to figure something out. The frustration that you get because that comes with trying anything new. It's so easy for you to be like, "I can't do this thing anymore. This thing is too complicated. This thing isn't working out for me." Literally, your brain is hyper-sensitive to pain. Anything that seems confusing, anything that seems boring, anything that seems essentially not comfortable for your brain, it literally convinces your body that there is something wrong with you. Like, it literally makes your body feel, and for different people, depending on how strong this thing is, it literally can make you feel sick. Like, this has happened to me before. It's literally made my body feel sick. It literally can make your body feel tired. That's why I don't know if you guys happens to you guys, but I know what happens to a few people. It feels like on the mornings when I have to go to the gym, my body is extra tired. Like, on the mornings where I just have to go to work, I can get up, I can whatever, whatever. But on the mornings I say I'm going to the gym, my body's extra tired. Why? Because my body's like, "This is painful. This is something that I don't want to do. This is something that we're not used to doing."
And even with content, right? I notice once I start getting addicted to like reading romance books for hours and finishing four or five books a week and all this other stuff, it was harder for me to make content. And I thought I made the excuse of, "Oh, well, it's because for a year plus, or for a year, I've been posting three plus videos a week. Like, I've been posting so many videos and I'm probably exhausted and I'm probably, you know, I can't think of ideas." And I really thought that's what it was because that's what my brain convinced me the whole time. That thing wasn't as comfortable as reading romance books. So my brain was like, "The thing that you once were okay with doing, this thing is now painful because this thing takes time for you to organize the content. This thing takes sometimes boredom, cuz sometimes I honestly have to read books for content that I'm not really that fond of, but I know they have good information nonetheless." It became so hard to do tasks that I knew would help me. And so that's why I wanted to bring up, nonetheless, the detox. That's why it's so important because too many people's seesaw is unhacked. Your body is literally sitting on comfortability. You have so much heavy weight. It's literally so many bricks on comfortability that when it comes to pain, which is required to do a lot of things in life, especially things that we don't want to do in the beginning, especially starting something out, your brain literally convinces you you can't do it. And you're like, "Well, you know, why can everyone else do it? And why does it feel so hard for me?" And why does it? Because your brain is literally seeking comfortability. And if that thing is not comfortable for you, if you're not used to that thing, your brain is going to make your body literally feel like it's in pain, whether it's physically or it's mentally.
And so the goal is kind of to try to get to an equilibrium. It's kind of to try to get to a middle ground, right? There is a certain amount of comfortability that you have in your life, but then there is a certain amount of pain that you also should have in your life, and it should balance it out. And that's usually when you are a little bit more level-headed when it comes to things.
Now, one thing I definitely want to bring up during this time period is, and it doesn't matter if it's like, you literally quitting a drug, or you literally quitting something like a cell phone, or for me, it's books. You are going to go through a withdrawal period. And I know when people hear withdrawal periods, they always assume, like, "Oh, I'm not, you know, addicted to any kind of drug or I'm not addicted to anything that will like give me withdrawals." Your brain is going to go through a withdrawal period, and it's going to happen around the two-week mark. And this is the mark where a lot of people tend to quit. And if you notice, a lot of times, too, this is how long a lot of individuals usually do something consistently. So a lot of people can go to the gym for about seven days to possibly 14 days, and then it just feels like something happens. A lot of people can start doing something for about seven days to 14 days, and it always feels like something happens. That is literally your body going through withdrawal. Eventually, in the beginning, the first couple days, right? Your body is going to be like, "Okay, well, I, I guess we're just not doing the thing as much." You're going to get cravings to do it, right? You're going to get random moments in your time where, and it happens now, you literally look at your phone, you didn't get no text message, you didn't get no call, you know, you ain't get no important emails, but your body is just triggered to look at your phone. That's how your body's going to feel in the beginning. It's going to be like, "Okay, well, we just need to look at our phone," or "Oh, we just need to smoke," or "Oh, we just need to." And then after a couple days, it's going to be like, "Okay, wait, we're not doing this thing." It's going to be a little bit confused. Around the 14-day mark, for some people, depending on how often you do this, this is going to come between 7 to 14 days. Your body is literally going to feel like it is dying. Your body is literally going to start doing a lot of things to you. I'm going to be honest with you, that is going to make you feel as though you have to go back to this thing. It's, or not even necessarily, you have to go back to this thing because I don't think a lot of people notice that they have addictions, so they don't know that's why you're dealing with this thing. So a lot of times, your body is going to start feeling tired, right? Your body is going to start feeling, like I said, going back to feeling like you're sick. Your body is literally going to start making you feel more irritable. You might notice that you're starting to get more angry around certain times, and certain things are bothering you more because your body's like, "Where is it? Where is the phone? Where is it? Where is the book? Where is it? Where is the smoke? Where is the, like, the things that you do?" You're after a certain amount of time, your body's going to be like, "Wait, we weren't playing a game? Wait, this wasn't a joke? Wait, this wasn't..." And it's going to literally start going through a withdrawal period.
I want everyone to understand this because I want you to be aware of this, and I want you to understand this is going to be something you're going to have to fight through. And I know some people watching it are going to be like, "Girl, it's not that serious. Like, I'm just getting rid of my phone." Girl, it's not that serious. You have to understand your body is literally addicted to this thing. Your body is used to doing this thing. Your body is going to feel like it's under attack. Like it's going to start making you do things. It's going to start making you possibly even feel depressed. It's going to start making you possibly even feel sad because what does it want you to do? It wants you to go back to that comfortability. It's going to start making you feel pain. And so what is going to happen? You're going to be sitting down, let's think about the seesaw on the pain meter. So then your body is going to make you go up in comfortability. Now you're going to crave comfortability so, so, so much. And then you're going to crave it in any little thing that you can find. And so that's one thing I want to tell a lot of people. You are going to go through a withdrawal period, but you are going to be okay. And then once you get to around the 30-day mark, essentially 28, 30 days, that's when your body kind of detoxes from this thing. It's kind of just like, "Okay, well, I guess we don't have this thing anymore." But I want you just to be aware of that.
Now, going into that, right? Things that I want you to be aware of during this detox period to help you no longer use these things is that I want you to not have any cues with these things. So cues can be people, places, or things that may remind you of this thing. If you know that your friends partake in drinking, and you're like, "I drink every single day, I need to stop." Don't be around those people who drink. Like, I don't want you to have this mindset of feeling like, "Oh, well, I'mma just, you know, stick it out and I'mma just, you know, it's going to be okay, I'm going to get through it." No, you, you don't, don't force yourself to do that thing. People, especially once you get around the 14-day mark, your body is going to crave to do it so much. It's going to give you so many reasons why to do this thing.
Another thing I want you to be aware of, and this is something that actually comes from AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, and this is something that they often tell their members is to try not to be in H.A.L.T. H.A.L.T. is hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Try not to be in H.A.L.T. Try not to be hungry. It is going to make you, what they say in the Snickers commercial, "You're not yourself when you're hungry." It's going to make you do things that you don't currently like, know you shouldn't do, but you're going to be more susceptible to doing it. Even I noticed that myself. I noticed that I bite my nails more when I'm hungry. And I always thought it was just like a, "Shaya, like, why? Like, it's not that serious, like, come on, like, you don't think your, your nails is really not going to feed you?" But I didn't notice. It just so happens that I bite my nails when I have anxiety, and hunger gives me a similar pain, and that's why I bite my nails.
Another thing, angry. Like I said, your emotions are going to be heightened. Now that you're already aware of that, try to, woo, try to abstain from being around individuals that you know annoy you. Try to not be angry. When you are angry, you are more likely to make bad decisions because you're more likely to convince yourself it's okay. "I did that bad thing because I was hung-" I mean, angry. "It's okay that I picked up that book because I was angry and I needed something to woo." "It's okay that I got that drink. It's okay that I picked up my phone. I needed something to decompress." It's going to make you crave comfortability even more.
Lonely. Now, during this time period, I know for a lot of people, there's this thing of being like, "Okay, but a lot of people that I'm around do this thing, or I feel like when I'm around my friends, like they're always on their phone, so of course I'll be on my phone, or they're always drinking, or they're always doing this thing." Lonely doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be around people specifically that you are friends with to help with loneliness. Go to, obviously not me, y'all know what I'm going through, but go to Barnes & Noble, get a book. It doesn't have to be, always say, it doesn't have to be a self-growth book. It could be a romance book. Hey, hey, everybody's not like me. It could be a thriller book, psychology book, whatever the case may be. They have chairs in there, sit down and read. You can book a yoga class with people. Like, when I talk about being lonely, it means just being around people. Like, certain people don't understand you being isolated by yourself. A lot of people try to push isolation, but during this time period, you need to detox from the things that aren't serving you. And a lot, a lot of times, too, one of the things that isn't serving you is being alone. Like, a lot of people don't even understand another reason why you're more susceptible to being on your phone all the time is because you're literally in the house. Like, be around people. Now that you have more time in your hands because you're not doing that thing anymore, how about we actually go to the grocery store? Most people order their groceries. How about we actually go to the grocery store and we walk around? Like, just try being around people can help with that.
And the last one is tired. Tired is so imperative as well. Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep at night because you're more likely, like I said, to go back to that thing when you're tired because you're not thinking straight. You can't really function properly, and then your body's just like, "Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain. Let me crave comfortability."
Now, I know, of course, a lot of people are like, "Okay, so what am I going to do? Right? What am I going to replace this thing with? What am I, because I'm going to be bored? I'm going to be this, I'm going to be that." So what am I going to do? Nothing. Contrary to what a lot of people may think, I don't want you to specifically do anything or specifically try to achieve anything because that's what you've been doing your entire life, and it has not been working. I don't think people understand how much of a replacement culture that we have. If that job is not working out for you, you replace it with another job. If that relationship is not working out for you, you replace it with another man. If that skincare routine is not working out for you, you replace it with another one. The problem that people don't see is there's a middle step. We think we just go over the bridge. No, there's things under the bridge. We have to construct that bridge, and the construction of the bridge starts with us. It starts with us figuring out why, how did I end up in that situation, that job? How do I make sure I don't end up in that job again? What do I need to do differently? Do I need to go back to school? Do I need to learn a skill? Do I need to literally change my career? Do I need to, what, what needs to happen next? That relationship, before you hop into another relationship, how did it get to that point? What would I do differently? Do I struggle with self-worth? Do I struggle with insecurities? Do I have daddy issues? And how do I deal with those? Like, honestly, the skincare not working. Okay, well, is it the skincare? Or could it be me? Is there anything in my life that I feel like can be affecting my, my skin? Maybe what I eat, maybe what I drink, maybe for some people, their addictions, like smoking and drinking and stuff like that, can lead to bad skin. Nonetheless, what most people mess up is they're in a replacement culture. Every time they feel boredom, going back to the comfortability. You crave comfortability so much, you don't allow yourself to feel bored. You don't allow yourself to feel like, "I don't have to do something right now."
Now, I don't want you to think you're going to be laying on the bed all day. No, because you're going to have a lot more ample time, I'm guessing. But that gives your brain time to roam, and that actually gives you time to do what you need to do. Like, come on, let's just be completely honest. Maybe you need to clean that car. Maybe you need to clean that room. Maybe you need to wash some dishes. And that is fine. Like, I know it sounds so boring. Like, "Yeah, but, but I can wash the dishes after I do this 10, 10-step skincare routine, and I can wash the dishes after I do, you know, this workout." No, like, the whole point of this is for these 30 days, I don't want you to have an intention. Like, I just want you to become. You get what I'm saying? Like, I don't want you to to try to curate something after these 30 days. "My body's going to look like this. Am I, my skin..." I think I am big on goals, right? I say that in a lot of my videos about creating your dream life, you have to have goals, specific goals. But I think in this 30 days, I want you to strip. I want you to get rid of. I want you to literally not have the idea that you have to become anything else but yourself. Like, stop trying to become so many different things. Stop trying to fill your time. Stop trying to feel like you always have to be busy. You have a lifetime time to build up your career. You have a lifetime to get your dream body. You have a lifetime to love yourself. But give yourself 30 days to feel bored and just sit there and think with yourself. And like I said, it doesn't mean you can't do things. But first and foremost, don't do things with an intention. If you wake up in the morning, you're like, "Well, I'm usually on the phone for the first hour." "All right, I guess I'm going just do this 10-minute workout." That's fine. Or, "I guess I'm going just go to the gym." That's fine. But what I don't want you to do is be like, "Okay, so I'm going to the gym Monday, Wednesday, Friday." No, no, no, no, no. I literally want you to listen to your body. What does your body want to do that is not part of your addiction? And that is not something that's bad, cuz I also don't want you to create another addiction during this time period because since your body's craving comfortability, it may cause you to create another addiction. But I don't want you to become addicted to anything. I don't want you to replace anything because at the end of these 30 days, what is going to happen to you is you're going to have a more round, round, well-rounded, um, as aspect of how much time do you actually have in a day. You're going to have a more well-rounded aspect of your thoughts. Like, that's what I want you to do. Sit in your thoughts.
And one thing I also don't want you to do is judge. I don't want you to judge your thoughts during any time period because you're possibly going to have some thoughts that aren't good. Not possibly, you are. You're going to have some thoughts that aren't good. You're going to have some thoughts that's like, "Why would I think that? Why would I..." So the whole idea for this video, I got from the book Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna. I'm going to look it up after so tell you guys at the end. But long story short, in the book, one of the things that she said is she, after having one of her children, her baby was young, she was like, her baby was crying, um, and she was like, she literally thought about banging her baby's head against the table because her baby kept crying. And when she thought that, most people would say, "Oh my gosh, she's such a bad person. Oh my gosh, she's such a bad mother. Somebody take that baby from her." Her child is older. Her child is fine. She loves her child, and she loved her child during that time period. But sometimes we have those thoughts. Like, even myself, I would never share all the thoughts that I have because people would think that there's something wrong with me. But they're my thoughts. And so instead of looking at herself as, "I'm a bad mom, and I'm a bad person," because what does that do? That often makes you try to become somebody else. Because if you say that thought is wrong, that thought that my brain created is wrong, I'm a bad person, I'm a bad mom, so that means I need to become somebody else. That means I need to emulate another mother, and I need to suppress how I really feel, and I need to suppress my thoughts so that I can become a perfect mom. And that, a lot of times, it relates to the replacement. You're trying to replace one thought with another. You're trying to replace what you're going through with something else. No. And she recognized that thought and she's like, "Wow, this is what I'm thinking." Boom. Go on my day. And so that's what I want you to do during this time period. Do not judge your thoughts. You're going to have thoughts that aren't good. You're going to have thoughts that are random. You're going to have literally have conversations about yourself. But what does that mean? Yeah, I know I'm thinking this, but like, why would I say that? Like, so what does that mean? Of like, just observe it. And I don't know, it sounds a little bit crazy, but I think it seems crazy because we don't do it. A lot of people don't realize that's what your addiction does for you. It literally allows you not to think about your thoughts. And it's so crazy. There's like this old saying that the reason why we have things, the reason why everything was created was to distract ourselves from death, because we all are going to die. But if we're working, if we have hobbies, if we have all these things going on throughout our day, and we're so busy, you don't have to think about death. But then when you really sit down with yourself, you're like, "Oh, wait, well, we're all going to die." That seems like anxiety-ridden. That things seems like something that we don't want to do. I'm not saying think about death all day, but I just think that's kind of a crazy thought process. Like, "Wow, I guess that kind of is true, right?" So think about that with your addiction. Think about how often you don't think about things that are going on with your life. Think about why sometimes you struggle the same thing year after year, time after time, literally because your body does not want to think about those things. Your body doesn't want to think about how you're struggling financially. Your body doesn't want to think about how you're struggling physically, mentally, spiritually. And so what does it do? It replaces it with this addiction. It makes you crave comfortability. It makes you crave doing all the easy things so that when it is time for you to do these hard things, your body literally makes you feel like, "I can't do it. There's something wrong with me." There must be something going on. No, you just need to do a detox, and you literally just need to be there with your thoughts.
Now, the next thing I want you to realize is the fact that you have this addiction means you're probably going to be predisposed to this addiction for most of your life, if not all your life. And I know a lot of people thought, "Well, after these 30 days, I'm not going to be addicted, right? And after these 30 days, I'm going to achieve my dream life, and I'm going to do this, and I'm do that." Yes, in a sense, you can do those things. But especially if you're someone that's been addicted to this thing for a very long time, like me, when it comes to my phone, not as much as far as romance books, but definitely when it comes to my phone, I've been using it consistently every single day, night, hours on end for 10 years plus. It is not something that is going to be able for me in 30 days to detox with this thing, and possibly not even a year or two. It's going to be something that's going to take a large amount of time.
So with that being said, moving forward, now that you are aware that your predisposition to have this, let's say, addiction, now you need to figure out how you are going to move differently. So you're going to slowly micro-do this thing into your life. But then what you're also going to do is figure out what times of the day are you going to allow yourself to do this? How many times a week are you going to allow yourself to do this? And when it comes to that, you're going to have to stick to a schedule. That's the part that you're going to have to do. Now that you've had this detox, and that's why I said in the beginning of the video, you're going to look at your current self being different. When you are not doing that thing every single day, you're going to be like, "Wait, I don't need that thing as much. I can't believe I wasted so much time. I can't believe I wasted so much energy." That's how you're going to look at it. But that does not mean that that thing will never be an addiction for you again. Actually, it might even be heightened because your body is like, "I haven't had it for so long, and now that I have it, I want it so bad." So this is going to be imperative for you. But now it's going to be a little bit easier because your body is not fully, fully, fully on comfortability anymore. Your pain and your comfortability is kind of a little bit more balanced. Your pain might even be a little bit, you know, stronger, which is going to be helpful for you in dealing with the boredom, which is going to be helpful for you dealing with the frustration that you are going to have. But that's what I really want everyone to understand because I think that's what messes up people with detoxes. They try to take these things out of their life, and then they're kind of like, "Well, well, why do I do it when I start again? And why would I download Instagram again? You know, I'm addicted to it again." And like, "What am I never supposed to have it again?" No, you can do this thing again, but now you just are aware of your addiction, and now you need to make sure that you have scheduled times, and you have scheduled sometimes, places, whatever it is best for you.
And then this is when you are going to start going towards your goals. Right? Now that you realize all the time, the energy, all these things, and now your body and your brain is literally pushed towards pain, it is ready to deal with some of the boredom, the frustration. That is when we're going to break down our goals. And I have a lot of videos dealing with goals, so I recommend you check out those on my page as well. But all in all, that's how you're going to be unrecognizable. That's how you're going to look at yourself differently. It's literally making your body even out this seesaw of pain and comfortability, and allowing your body to experience what it feels like to be you without thinking about other people's perceptions, without thinking about other things, without having something that is literally sucking the life and the energy out of you. You're going to figure out how to be unrecognizably you.
So thank you guys so much for watching this video. Um, I am starting a podcast. So I kind of already did have a podcast, but long story short, what I'm going to start doing is just uploading this content on my podcast as well. So definitely go below to check out my podcast. Go below to follow me on TikTok. I promise y'all I'm going to post soon. And also go below to follow my newsletter. So thank y'all so much and have a great one. And can't wait to see y'all in 30 days.