Transcription
People don't treat you based on who you are. They treat you what your energy is telling them they can get away with. And most of you are walking around with energy that says, "I will adjust to you." And it's not because you're weak. It's because you've never had anyone to teach you how to let your presence do the talking. This isn't about look confident or act confident. This is about moving in a way that makes people register you differently before you even say a word.
If people still talk over you, if people still assume they can cross your lines, if people are still treating you like an extra, it's not because you need to do more work on yourself, it's because the way you sit, the way you walk, stand, make eye contact, and take up space is still broadcasting a version of you that you have outgrown. In your mind, you are this version of you, but your energy is still this version of you. And that is what people are picking up on. And that is what they are reacting to. That is the version they are engaging with.
High value presence is built in the small silent cues. The way you let pauses land, the way you don't reach for your phone every time there's a little moment of silence, and the way your voice holds the same weight, whether you're ordering a coffee or you're telling somebody now, here's the secret sauce. You do not need to add more to your life to be treated the way you want to be treated. You need to stop moving like somebody who is waiting for permission to be the version of you that you want to be.
So now let's dive deeper into what this actually looks like. Number one is stop performing your intelligence through correction. This is what I like to call a contrarian individual. A contrarian is somebody who wants to go against the status quo. They want to rebel against what everybody else is doing. I'll put a proper definition in here, but it is someone who is always going to say something like, "Well, no, that's not really what I meant." And it's the type of person where you're having a conversation with them and you're trying to connect. You're trying to share your point of view. You're trying to share your thoughts and you're trying to sort of validate their experience by being like, "Yeah, I totally agree. You know, it's sort of like XYZ." And then they're like, "Well, no. Well, not really." Well, it's more like and then they sort of go on their own tangent about what it's not about what you said and it's almost like you don't even want to keep talking.
If you do that, that is your ego defending your intellect. You don't want to be misinterpreted. You are going to fight to the end of the earth to make sure that what you are saying is perceived the exact way you are saying it. This does not make you more credible. It makes people feel like they have to fight for space in your world. When you're constantly being like, "Well, no, that's not really what I meant." they just don't even want to talk to you anymore. They will not want to connect with you because everything they say is being shut down and you're playing devil's advocate for everything.
Instead of saying, "Well, no, not really." Try saying something like, "That might be true. This is what I've also noticed." And then you put in your point that way. That is still rooted. That is still you sharing your honest opinion without discrediting their experience and what they're saying. It makes people more receptive.
Number two is not adjusting your appearance in public. Fixing your lipstick or tugging at your shirt and your bra straps every 3 minutes is not elegance. It's self-conscious energy. It signals to somebody or the room that I don't really trust fully how I'm showing up right now. And yes, that comes down to your appearance. High value women are not walking into rooms where they're second-guessing their presence. They're preparing themselves in private and then they're walking in composed.
That is exactly why I wear classy. For example, this is a classy network shirt. And what makes Classy different is every single top comes in with a builtin bra. Chef's kiss. That means no visible bra straps, no hard underwire, no layering, and no wardrobe malfunctions. You literally just throw the top on and you go. Before discovering Classy, I did have moments where I was fidgeting in public and trying to adjust myself because I was scared that bra straps were showing. And every 5 minutes you're looking at your friend being like, "Uh, can you see this? Can you see that?" Like how many of us are doing that? We all are. We have all been there. And that is not what is giving you high value energy.
Now I literally forget that I'm wearing anything. It truly is like second skin. It's soft. It feels secure. And it is structured in all the right places. There's no slipping. There's no squeezing. There's no snagging. But you still feel like everything is in its right place. And here's the key. When you are not in your head about how you look, you carry yourself completely differently. So, if you're also done adjusting and you are ready to embody that high value composed energy, click the link in my description box or scan the QR code here on the screen to secure 20% off your first order with Classy using code classy 373. Trust me when I say it, once you try it, there's no going back.
Now, let's move into the next habit, which is giving without performance. True real embodied elegance and high value energy is being generous without needing to be seen. So many of us unconsciously give with this silent silent expectation lingering way in the back even if you don't think it where you want to be recognized, you want to be seen. But if giving to somebody makes you feel like you expect something back, then you are not in a space to be giving. That energy needs to be coming right back here. Your intention with giving and being generous is coming from a place of overflow. Like you have so much to give for yourself and it's already poured into you that you have so much left that you want to just give it to anybody and everybody and that without needing them to validate you.
Now let me just insert a little caveat here. We don't want to be overgiving where we feel like we're constantly giving and then we're like in a month from now we're like okay wait I've been giving so much nobody's been giving back to me. I'm feeling a little bit slighted by this. That's why it's so important that you're checking your own energy. Are you giving from a place of performance or are you giving genuinely because you want to give to that person? And if they didn't give back ever again, that would not bother you. Make sure you're constantly assessing that because high value presence is the energy of generosity without performance and without needing to be seen. And the difference can be felt from the energy that you are giving from.
Number four is keeping your hands visible. If you notice, I'm always talking with my hands. That is a personal trait that I just have. I'm a very visual person and I like to be expressive. But making sure that your hands are just visible, it is a sign of warmth. People are not listening to just your words. They are interacting with your body, your energy, what is coming off of you. Open palms, soft gestures, and relaxed hands at the table or wherever you're at signals that I'm not hiding and that I'm open. This is the sort of nervous system trust that is conveyed subconsciously to someone. They're subconsciously interacting with your energy and you're subconsciously interacting with their energy. And that is a distinction between you walking away from somebody being like, "There's just something about them that I love and that I like." And walking away from someone being like, "There's something about them that I don't like and I can't put my finger on it." It's that subconscious interaction that is happening between you and with them. And these bodily things are those subconscious gestures.
Number five is don't fidget. Fidgeting is naturally an anxious thing that we do when we're feeling nervous because we're trying to sort of put that energy somewhere like we're feeling it. We like have too much of it and we're like, "Okay, where is it going? It needs to go somewhere." So, we just naturally are like wired and hyped up a little bit. But, you need to just take a deep breath. You need to calm down and you need to just sort of sit still. Stillness is power and it conveys to somebody that you are not trying to escape this moment. You are in the present. You're with them. You're hearing. you're listening and you're right there engaged in this moment. When you're fidgeting, it's almost like you're just scattered and you want to just run out and you're not really listening. Are you with them and you're like, "Yeah, what did you say? Sorry. Sorry. What was that?" That's just Look at how chaotic that was. That's not feeling good. Okay? So, we don't want to be fidgeting.
Number six is take up asymmetrical space. If you notice in my videos, I am never just sitting like this. My head is somewhat always tilted and my chin is somewhat always very down like angular space. Okay? You're not just sitting straight up like this. Hi, what's up? Yep. Nice to meet you. Like, you're leaned in. It's giving relaxed energy. It's very comforting. It's very open and warm. And it's very relaxed. You really want to just shift your weight. So, like, look, I've like dropped one arm. You know, I'm shifted more to this side. This is where my dominant weight is currently resting. And it looks like I belong here. It looks like I'm comfortable in what I'm doing. If I was sitting and talking to you guys like this, like, hi. Um, okay. So today we're going to talk about this. You'd be like, "Have you ever spoken to anybody before in your life?" But because I'm like this, I'm like, "Hey, I belong here." Yeah. And I'm good at what I do and I know what I'm doing. And that is what you want to be conveying.
Having great posture isn't about being stiff and perfectly upright. It's about presence and it's about being relaxed in your space. So you really want to embody that relaxed energy in your space. and give off that sense that I belong here and I am taking up space here and I feel comfortable doing that.
Number seven is speak like someone leaning in. High value presence is vocal magnetism. Speaking like you know what you're saying. Speaking with conviction. You're not rushing. You're not raising your pitch really really high. And you're not trying to use your throat chakra in a way that is not aligned with you. You are using your throat chakra in a way that is authentic to you. So, if you are naturally a speaker like me where I'm direct, I'm blunt, and I'm very straightforward. If I try to be someone that sugarcoats and is like, um, okay, well, I would rather do that. That is just not magnetic for me at all. My number one thing is being your most magnetic self. So, your dominant energy could be very soft and sweet and like you're talking like this and then you try to come in and you're dropping your voice lower. That is going to be very weird energy for you. Whereas for me that is my normal energy right you can hear in my voice that it's very strong energy that comes through me when I'm speaking on the camera like when I'm giving information and stuff. And this is a completely side tangent but this is all about duality as well as a feminine woman. We are not just restricted into one box of femininity. Femininity is not just pink and bows and cutesy and soft and you know like docile individuals. Real true divine feminine woman has mastered duality. Duality is like the range in which you eb and flow through different phases of your feminine journey, of your day-to-day life, of your month. And we're really just embodying that natural essence and natural energy that is coming through us for that day, for that week, for that month. It's not just a one-size-fits-all. So, really learn what is your most magnetic throat chakra activation, right? Is it speaking in a slower, more like, you know, relaxed tone? Personally for me, I watch everything in 2x speed. Someone speaking like that, it's not for me. So find what works for you, how you feel most confident conveying your message and what you're trying to say. And also understand duality that in certain dynamics, in a dating dynamic, we are not going to be speaking like we're giving information and we're having a PowerPoint presentation behind us. we are going to be speaking in that slower, more softer, sensual voice. But like I said, when I'm giving information, it comes off in a different way. So, we're going to operate in a different energy. If we're in a job interview, if we're talking to our parents, if we're talking to our friends, there's different vocal energies that come into play. But the main point here is speak like you belong and speak like somebody who is leaning in. Meaning, speak in a way that invites closeness.
Number seven is stop apologizing for unvalidated opinions. This one right here is huge and I noticed it in so many people and that is saying sorry for an opinion that you have that has not yet been validated by an external source. Whether that be the majority opinion and you're sort of the minor and you're the black sheep and you're thinking completely against what is the norm. Constantly saying things like, "Sorry if that doesn't make sense. This might sound dumb. That's not humility. That's not you being modest. That is your rejection wound playing out embracing for impact that you are going to get rejected before you even get rejected. So what happens is you're softening the blow prematurely before anyone has actually even disagreed with you. But because you don't want to sound weird. That is not high value energy. High value energy does not look for agreement in order to feel safe. She knows that this is what I feel. This is my opinion. We can have a discussion about it. My ideas might change. My perception might shift. But this is what I feel right now. I'm going to say that whether or not that opinion has been validated by you, by you, by you, by anybody else. This is what I feel and this is what I believe. High value presence only needs self-trust. So make sure that is one of the biggest things.
Number nine is accepting compliments without downplaying them. This one is huge. I will be in the bathroom eavesdropping as I do everywhere that I go. Women downplaying compliments. I was just at an appointment and I heard a woman get a compliment and she was like, "Oh my god, you look so good today." And she was like, "No, I don't. What do you mean?" And it's those kinds of things that are very micro, very, very micro that we do that we don't realize that we're doing. That really waters down your presence and your energy. When someone gives you a compliment and immediately you said, "Ugh, no, I don't. I look so gross today." You've taken a positive perception of you and you've now made it negative, even if you did not mean to. And now you're wondering, why don't people think I have a nice aura? Why don't people think I'm magnetic? Because you have trained yourself to not believe that you can be a mirror of positive reflection. So now let the compliment land. Just smile. Say thank you. Even if you feel so ugly, that person has seen something in you that they felt they wanted to compliment. People are not complimenting these days, okay? People are scared. They're shy. So if someone takes the time to give you a compliment, they are seeing something in you. And it is your job to accept that and just let it land. That is feminine receptivity. That is the blessing. That is the core of being receptive. Accepting what people say, accepting their compliments, accepting gifts, accepting it all.
Number 10 is putting your phone away. And I mean, put your phone away when you're on a date. And just because he's in the washroom now, you want to quickly go on social media and check what's happening. It's like, put that phone away. You don't need to be on it. While he's away, quickly check if you've got any important text messages. If you don't put that phone away, okay, when that man comes back from the washroom and sees you just sitting there, being present in your own energy, in your own company, he's going to be like, "Wo, this one's a little bit different. She's not on her phone. She's not taking pictures. She's not doing this." That is not performance. That is something that you have to master. You have to be okay not getting on your phone. Every minute there's a little bit of silence. Every minute you're alone. Every minute there's a little bit of an awkward tension. Sit through it. Being present is so magnetic. And it is not done these days. People are always on their phone. So being that outlier, being that person who doesn't do that is going to make you so magnetic. Your presence is going to shift from Joemo to goddess. You are the experience. You do not need to be entertained by that block of metal.
And number 11 is be unbothered, not available. There is a huge difference in those two and you need to master that because being unbothered is extremely detached in a very soft way and being unavailable is being detached in a cold vengeful way that is head-based, very ego-based. Unbothered is nervous system regulation. You're saying I'm pulling my energy back to me. I need to feel safe again within my own self. And it's the ability to hold peace and detachment without closing off. Being unavailable is emotional shutdown in disguise. When you are thinking that you are detaching, but you're actually emotionally just shutting down, you are going to feel anger. You are going to feel resentment. You are going to feel like, I'm going to show you what it is like to lose me. That is emotional shutdown. Okay? That is detachment. That is very cold and very egoic.
When you decide to detach out of softness, out of grace, and out of love, you're like, "Okay, I need to leave you over there, and I need to come back here, and I need to focus on myself because I need to just really regulate. I am not mad at you. I'm not angry with you. I just need to focus back on myself." That is just being unbothered and being like, "Okay, I'm just done with that right now. I need to come back here." That is real detachment. That is loving detachment. That is soft detachment. And that is what you have to master. Remember, I was talking about duality. That is duality. being soft and detached at the same time. That right there, you are a walking weapon. When you are going into that emotional shutdown, you are closing off that very connection that you want that might not be coming from that person. It's still something that you want and that you crave, but you're now shutting it off completely because now you're detached and emotionally shut down from that one experience, but you still want the loving experience. So, you can detach from that experience, but you can still remain open to the new experience that you actually want. That is where you have to master that a little bit.
And if you only remember one thing from this video, let it be this. Presence is how your body tells the world what you believe about yourself. Are you moving like somebody who has to earn it, or are you moving like somebody who knows they already have it? If you want to master emotional detachment without shutting down, make sure you watch this video.