Transcription
One big piece of advice that I've passed down to my kids. If you are exposed to a product that can't tell you the problem that they're solving, you need to be terrified.
How do you talk to your teenagers about the world that we're living in? Social media has learned a lot from psychological warfare. And we've never been more connected. But we've never had more loneliness than is in the world right now. If I can get you to compare yourself to other people, you will constantly feel like you're not enough.
Having your kids get into the mindset of being able to zoom out. Everybody's upset with Epstein. Why? Because all of us are deeply internally craving a Stephen Spielberg ending for this [ __ ].
You see a lot of people out there saying that all the kids nowadays have this attention deficit cuz they're on TikTok all the time. But what was really manufactured is an interest deficit. They stop becoming interested faster because the same kid who you claim has an attention deficit can still binge watch Game of Thrones or some TV show for like nine episodes in a row without going to the bathroom or eating. So, they have attention. What's been manufactured is interest deficit. And what happens is if you think about I've scrolled social media many times in my life. When one video isn't interesting for 1,000th of a second, it's an instantaneous swipe. So, it's not attention, it's interest. What we're really doing is dividing the interest.
And the second piece of this is there's so much advertising and that social media has learned a lot from psychological warfare and brainwashing and advertising, marketing, PR that it started to adopt a lot of the same policies. And the first thing, your first goal of marketing, if you're really using SCOPS to market a product, is to get people to confuse pleasure with happiness. And if you look on Instagram, Tik Tok, whatever, right now, that's rampant. I view pleasure as me having a good life. If I go buy that yacht, then I'm going to have long-term happiness. If I go get this Porsche or Lamborghini, I get this whatever shoes or something, I'm going to be happy about that. So, they've gotten us to confuse pleasure with happiness, number one. And the second goal of advertising, if you're using SCOPS, is I'm going to make you compare yourself to other people. So, if I can get you to compare yourself to other people, you will constantly feel like you're not enough. So, it's a combination of those things. Confuse you between pleasure and happiness, make you compare yourself to other people, and make you feel like you're not enough.
One big piece of advice that I've passed down to my kids. If you are exposed to a product that can't tell you the problem that they're solving, you need to be terrified. Absolutely terrified. If I look at Door Dash or Uber Eats, they get food to me faster. I don't have to leave my house. I don't have to do anything. I can continue writing my book or doing something on my computer and the food just shows up. They tell you the problem that they're solving. Look at Amazon. They can tell you all the problems they're solving. But you look at something like Apple Vision Pro, they can't tell you. You see all the problems that a MacBook solves. This camera does all this does all these things. It helps you get this done faster. And you look at Facebook Meta, these AR goggles, none of them will ever tell you the problems that they're trying to solve because it's loneliness. people needing to anesthetize themselves from being in their own life. And we are in a loneliness epidemic in the midst of we've never been more connected, but we've never had more loneliness than is in the world right now. That should be one thing if I could just program into everyone's head. I did this to my kids. Just be so so scared and so cautious when I see a product or an app or anything that's not openly advertising the problem that they're solving.
The only two things I ever told my kids should terrify them. Number one, when you have two ideas and nothing in between them and your brain starts putting them together. And number two is if any grown-up in the world ever asks you to keep a secret.
First thing I taught my kids when they were four or 5 years old, we'd pull up next to a vehicle. They've got all these bumper stickers from running marathons and like it's a it's got a sticker from a bar and a sticker from all over the place. And I would ask my kids five, six years old, what does that person want us to think about them based on these stickers? So my daughter 6 years old sitting there might say, "Oh, well I run a lot." And I said, "What does that mean? I'm healthy. What does that mean? I'm a good person. I have discipline." I say, "What about all the bar stickers and stuff? I'm fun. That means I would be a good friend." And they would start going and going and going. So keeping that question in the front of your mind, what does this want me to think about it? and knowing that every author who's ever written anything, every person that's writing these scripts for the the news teleprompterss, they have a desired outcome in mind. And no matter what, you have to know that there is a desired outcome from that creator for me to arrive at a certain conclusion. No matter what side you're reading, left or right, and Dr. Phil had a great quote about this. He said, "No matter how flat you make a pancake, it's got two sides." And you have to know that there's always another angle and there's always another perspective and another side. it just invade every moment of your life. If you're consuming any kind of content, you have to know there's always another angle to the story.
How do you talk to your teenagers about the world that we're living in? In the first stages of their life, it's what does that thing or that person want me to feel about them? Like somebody walking through an airport with really obnoxious, loud clothing on. What do they want me to think? Not I need attention. That's not what they want you to think. That's what that's saying. So the difference is like I need attention or I want you to pay attention to me. What would they be afraid of if that were true is question number two. So the way you would answer that is like if I didn't think what he wanted that would mean what for them? That would mean isolation, being ignored and ultimately being lonely. So we see somebody like that that has this loud [ __ ] on in an airport that's kind of annoying at first and then you realize this is a fear of loneliness. And all of a sudden you see yourself. You see the loneliness that you're trying to hide that you hide from your friends. You see the shame that you conceal from everybody when you're on Zoom meetings or at work and you're just like, "Holy [ __ ] everybody's suffering." And I think it gives you a tremendous amount of empathy.
And the second level of this is having your kids get into the mindset of being able to zoom out and teaching your kids as early as possible about camera angle. So like if I can just move your camera and drastically change your perspective of a situation, I can fix PTSD. That's why people go on a giant mushroom journey or a psychedelic journey and they're like, "Wow, my PTSD is gone." Perspective shifting is the only thing that really happens there. So, when we have like loneliness, depression, PTSD, getting pissed off at the world, like you want to tell your friends it's not a big deal, like focus on the good things. If you just shift perspective, you can solve so many problems that people have. And teaching your kids to grab their little camera and be aware, cognizant of I'm looking at this from this little angle right here. I'm zoomed in on one little fiber of this carpet. If I just took your camera and zoomed out like you do on Google Maps, that fiber is not important anymore. It's all about not just zooming out, but viewing something from a more mature perspective, even if it's in your past. I got kicked in the balls in front of a lot of kids in middle school and it was really embarrassing and I feel like that permanently scarred me. But just going back and kind of revisiting that from a mature perspective. The perspective shift is the only thing that needs to change. You don't need to like drop a backpack full of trauma and and drop it on the ground. I just teach my kids to change perspective that they are in control of perspective. You can make such a shift in people's lives. You cannot help but have empathy if you start seeing the world that way. Unless you're a psychopath like you're seeing it in everybody else but not yourself.
When you pull the camera out and your children now have the deeper perspective, but they're still dealing with another annoying teenager. How do they handle that? Same as an adult. understanding story archetypes that are woven into our DNA and our brains haven't changed in 200,000 years. So like the archetype of the wounded healer, the savior, the victim, the tragedy mindset, the broken hero, the dark hero, no matter what you look at, whether it's Toy Story or it or the dark knight, they're following these identical things that have been told from time immemorial before recorded history. These stories were kind of passed down and told. That's why they stick with us because that's what resonates with the lowest most powerful parts of our brain.
I'll take this back to court just really quick to show you. If I'm trying to persuade a jury and my client is suing a big company, I don't have to mention David and Goliath. I might just mention a few topics about it to put the archetype of David and Goliath in your head. Then I might mention a couple of times when you're waiting in line at the DMV for hours and hours and hours and every other little situation where there's a big company who doesn't give a [ __ ] about you. And then I mention walking down the hill to fight a battle. I'll never say David and Goliath directly, but I'll put that story front and center in your mind. If I get you to see that this is David and Goliath, that has a beginning and an end. I never ever ever talk about how the story ends cuz your brain already knows. I'm talking about this is the moment that this occurs. So your brain when you go to deliberate in the jury room, you think that it's your decision, but all you're doing is completing the story arc type. That's the natural resolution. So if you know the story arc type, I can change your view of a situation to see it as a certain archetype. I can make you do anything.
So what this means in conversation is I've got this friend who is bitching and complaining and all that kind of stuff. My initial response is going to be to kind of, hey man, it's not that bad or kind of maybe back away from them, which is great, like just spend less time with them and figure out a way to get them at their best. But you have to understand that this person is in a story arc and they're in a hero's journey of their own, but he might be or she is in this little victim story. Then what they're doing to you by like pulling you down is pissing you off because it's pulling you out of your story arc. you want to be successful, you want to be confident, you want to be happy, and then you're trying to bring them up. Guess what you're doing? You're pulling them out of their story are. If somebody is in this like downtrodden, beatd down kind of mindset. It might be a tragedy, but it might be a case of redemption, then maybe the next chapter for them is when they learn the magic lesson or something, but it's never going to be in the school hallway. It's not going to be over a brunch or something where they get a piece of information. It has to be a transition because that's what the movies tell us.
You see all this [ __ ] with Epstein and everybody's upset with Epstein. Why? Because all of us are deeply internally craving a Stephen Spielberg ending for this [ __ ]. They should be punished. They should go to jail. This should happen. Our shoulds are typically governed by little story arcs that we don't realize are playing out in our own mind.
Hey, before you scroll, think about this. Everyone thinks you have an attention problem. You don't. You've been trained to lose interest. The same kid who can binge shows for hours suddenly can't focus. Not because they can't, but because their brain is used to instant stimulation. And here's the trap they set. Chase quick pleasure as happiness and compare yourself until you feel like you're never enough. So, if you're raising kids or even thinking about your own habits, start with one question. What do they want me to feel or believe? Because the moment you see the intention behind it, you stop being shaped by it.
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