Transcription
If you're a single lady, please stand up for a bit. Let's play the "put your finger down" game. So, put your hand up.
Put a finger down if you'd prefer to marry someone older than you.
Put a finger down if you prefer to marry someone richer than you.
Put a finger down if you want to marry a protector.
Put a finger down if you want to marry a provider.
Put a finger down if you want to marry someone taller than you.
If you have less than two fingers up, sit down.
Now, that's most of you. You see, let me tell you something. Women are not against submission. If you want someone taller than you, who can provide for you, protect you, and all of that, you want someone you can defer to. And so, a lot of people act as if they don't like submission. Meanwhile, what they are against are the extremes. They're responding is a trauma response to people who have abused that position of leadership. But in your inner mind, you want it because there is a kind of safety. And now, this has been proven scientifically that when a woman is with a man that she can trust and she can defer to, her nerves are calmer. There's even psychology to prove women get more playful, more goofy when they trust you. So please make the differentiation, but be clear about what you actually want and embrace your identity. He's a man, I'm a woman, and I'm unique. He's unique. Together, we make a great team. And that's the will of God for all of us. Please say loud amen.
Amen.
All right. So, um, to continue my conversation, now listen. I began to announce from last year that virtually all my teachings in the Love Code month, which is February, will be on emotional intelligence because I noticed something that development is context-specific. And because of that, anything we don't emphasize, the people we will not become. We emphasize prayer, and people are prayerful. We emphasize fasting, and people fast. Hopefully, we we is what you say. We believe we we emphasize, you know, charismatic gifts, and we've seen our people blossom in those areas. But there is one thing generally in the body of Christ, and it bothers me. It bothers me so much. I can't begin to tell you how. It bothers me that a lot of Christians don't know how to get along. It affects marriage. It affects the local church. It affects everything that concerns us. You see, this is the reason why we have big churches, but we don't have a great nation. Somehow, it's not translating the investment of the church. It ought not to be, but we are speaking in more tongues and we're not changing. And just for your benefit, just in case there are one or two people who have not been following the conversation, I've been talking about something that a pastor friend said that crystallized this thought process, and it will unsettle you until you sit down to listen to it carefully. He said, "Being a believer doesn't make you a Christian." Being a believer doesn't make you a Christian. If you're a believer, you're born again. If Jesus comes, you're going to go to heaven. But being a Christian, you see, the Bible says that the believers were first called Christians in Antioch. And they were not called Christians for what they believed, but for how they behaved. So it means that Christianity is more descriptive of discipleship and not of your conviction. And so you can be a believer and not be a Christian. Unfortunately, most churchgoers are believers and they are not Christians.
See, let me tell you, even to the little things. See Christians interact online. You know, that thing is more serious than we realize. It's more serious. Some as toxic as others, as disrespectful as others. As you know, I see it. Listen, I believe that the final authority is the word of God. But sometimes we hide under that as an excuse to show bad character in standing for what we think is the truth. We don't respect age. And I didn't plan to talk about this. A good example is a man who just celebrated his 50th birthday. He did something you don't agree with. See, Gen Z insulting him. We have a problem. We have a problem. And it is something that by every stretch of biblical conviction is subjective. Whether you like it or not, no matter how personally convinced you are, and I'm not speaking for or against it, I'm speaking about the reaction, the things people said. Oh, God. Come on. For what it is, that character affecting homes. Is that same character that the moment something you don't agree with comes to the fore, you just become someone else, someone else talking anyhow. See, I counsel. So Christians, and it breaks my heart. I'm a pastor. I believe the best. But what is this? Some things that you don't even hear in the world. Don't you don't hear in the world. So, okay, two people are dating. Maybe story ahead. Two people are are dating. First and foremost, you're so-called Christians. You shouldn't be sleeping together. You're sleeping together, and then you're snapping pictures and sending to each other. And then the relationship breaks, and because you don't like the way the girl is talking to you, you threaten to post her nudes. See, here, there are some things before I open the Bible, I want to gather boys to beat you first. That's just the way I feel. Like what? You see, you have to understand. I'm talking about some things that guy code on the streets doesn't permit. I hope you know that there are atheists who know better than to hit a woman. You know that, don't you? That there are people who don't hold to any religious conviction that won't just hit a woman. They think it's improper. But come to the counseling room, see pastors that beat their that things are happening. So, so we we really have to talk to each other. But I want to take a a long introduction for a reason, and then I will tell you where this is headed.
Look at Ecclesiastes chapter 9:16. Ecclesiastes chapter 9:16. Now, I hear that we're looking for a venue at Kent, right? Um, so I'm just saying that so that you know that it's been a lot of prayer and deliberation. So go ahead and walk with us. Help us if you find a venue. As soon as you find a venue, we're good to go. So I'm just letting you know that. Okay. Ecclesiastes chapter 9, verse 16. The summary of that verse is this: Wisdom is better than strength. Can you say wisdom is better than strength? Wisdom is better than strength. In verse 18 of the same chapter, paraphrasing it, it says, "Wisdom is better than weapons of war." You see, one of my favorite stories in the entire Bible, and you've heard me talk about it time and again if you've been following this ministry for a while. In fact, the first time I preached on this was, I think, 2014, far back. All right. One of my favorite stories in the entire Bible is David and Goliath. And because as a storyteller, movie maker, it has all the perks of a potentially good and viral story. It's an underdog story. Underdog stories do well. The reason we love Power Rangers, apart from the fact that we were kids and we could identify with kids being the main characters, is that it's an underdog story. When you see young boys fighting giants and winning, we know lie. Oh, if you try to realize, they'll knock you. Come on, go and do your work. But it just makes for a good story. It's an underdog story. But what made me fall in love with it the more I studied it was just the plot twist. Because in Sunday school, we were given the impression that the only reason David won was because something supernatural happened and that maybe God picked up the stone as he released it from the sling, you know, and just maybe an angel caught it. There was a behind the scenes. We're not seeing an angel caught it and slam dunked it on Goliath's head. Make no mistake, I believe that God helped David, but not in the way you think. First things first, we underestimate David. Somebody who killed a lion and a bear stands a good chance against anyone, any human being, no matter how tall. And every time I'm trying to paint a picture, I ask people, if you get the opportunity to face one of three opponents, a lion, a bear, or a giant. Who you going to pick? Straight up. Straight. You think Saul was crazy to allow a teenager fight a giant? The moment he saw his resume, you you fought a lion. You're go, you'll be just fine. Another mistake we make is when we hear that David had a sling, we think of that catapult we used to use. I saw someone use a modern-day sling. So, I want to show it to you. Uh, can can the media team play the video? Come on, centralize it now. Okay, you can see it on the on the side screens, right? So that's what it looks like. You know, I saw people in the crowd flinching like, "Don't worry, don't worry." Now, that's what a sling looks like. So, when you think about it, it was a brilliant strategy. You are big, strong, good with the sword. But what is that when I can get you from a distance? Come on. Are you getting what I'm saying? Yes, sir. So, David was being strategic. Think about it. Did the Bible tell us he killed the lion and the bear with a sling? Why did he pick the sling against Goliath? Did he ever use a sling after that? He picked the right instrument, the right equipment because wisdom is better than strength. A wise teenager will beat a foolish giant. I'm headed somewhere. I'm headed somewhere. In modern-day warfare, the same thing applies. There was a time in ancient battles that wars depended on armies with the strongest fighters and the biggest fortresses. Not anymore. Now countries go to war without even sending soldiers. They just deliver one bomb by mail. God forbid. And it's over. Or drones because wisdom is better than war. In 2026, it's no longer the strength of your soldiers. It's the strength of your wisdom, the strength of your technology. Are you following what I'm saying? Yes, sir. Atomic bombs and all of that.
So now, what does this have to do with marriage? It has a lot to do with marriage because a lot of people, especially in 2026, still grapple with the concept of complementary strengths. We have a stereotypical perspective of what it means to be strong, and we all want to be strong in the same way. You see, when you see Team USA or Team Germany going for the Olympics, every one of them, they're all star athletes in their respective sports, and they look different. The shot putter is big and sturdy. The person running the relay is lanky. Complementary strengths because what is needed for their different sports is different. For the relay, you need mobility. For to be a shot putter, you need strength. Come on. Come on. Are you getting what I'm saying? And so together, they make one team, winning different medals for the same country. I'm explaining complementary strengths for you. And the same way, God deliberately made men and women to be different. Listen, you are different. It is not something to complain about. It is something to understand and appreciate. We need each other. A world without women will be like black and white television. All the color will disappear. I think we're going to kill each other without women. There is something about women that makes us want to put our lives together. You know, there was this I love the man. You know, the most radical individual I knew in my teenage years was young one young guy in my secondary school. I don't know about you, but for me, at that time, that was the first time I was seeing someone square up with a teacher. Like, what kind of rogue is this? Like, it was a long story. He got into some gangs overseas. So the parents wanted to discipline him, sent him to Nigeria. And unfortunately, to our school. So he took it out on the whole school. He was a terror. You punish him. Kneel, kneel here. So he's he's kneeling. When the teacher looks away, he will run and jump the fence. Hey, you know that terror. So I'll never forget years after I met somebody who used to attend the same school, and I knew they knew each other. So I said, "So how's this guy?" And he said, "You won't believe it." I said, "Try." He said, "He's born again and he's training for ministry." I said, "I'm a believer. I'm a soul winner." But that one, I mentioned his full name, the same guy. And I said, "YES. HOW DID IT HAPPEN?" He fell in love. She fell in love with a church girl, and she said, "I I can't even be your friend. Forget it. We don't we don't we we don't share the same values." Which values? Bible. I will start reading it. And the girl thought he was kidding. She gave him time, you know, he changed, cleaned up, became responsible, you know, changed his appearance, changed everything. And maybe he did it for her initially, but eventually, he caught genuine fire and has remained ever since. Yeah. You see, and so that made me understand somebody. His name is Jordan Peterson. His his explanation of the childhood fantasy called Beauty and the Beast, that there are beastly figures that all institutions can struggle to tame, but a woman can tame. See, if you want to stand up to the beast in a fight, you will lose. There's a biblical example. Nobody could stop Samson. Nobody could stop Samson. See, listen. 7,000 men versus Samson will lose. Samson was a superhero in case you've not clocked it. He He was a superhero. They were real superheroes in the Bible. All these ones you're reading. That's superhero stuff. What weapon did he use? Jawbone. Jawbone. He fought so hard. Oh, come on. Come on. Are you getting what I'm saying? Yes, sir. And the mighty Samson, do you know how foolish you have to be that each time she asked you what is the secret? She actually tried it. You woke up and you saw that she tried it, and you kept talking to her. It will surprise you. Some people are that foolish. Listen, I have a sermon on it. I think every young man should listen to it. Strong People, Weak Habits, or something like that. I can't remember. Samson, that's the name of the sermon. Because I've seen people who are captains of industry, you know, intelligent in sports, in science, or different things, and this is just one aspect they never really figured out. Delilah was hired to bring Samson down, and Delilah did what several soldiers with all their armory couldn't do. Are you getting what I'm saying? It doesn't just work for Samson. It works for John the Baptist. You might be anointed. Herodias was dancing. Dance. Oh, because of leg work. Do you know what it took in those days to conquer territories? That a man will go fight for days, strategize with his army, lose soldiers and all of that, conquer a territory. Then because one lady danced, he now said, "Ask anything, even to the half of my kingdom." What? So it means as a lady, be wise. Oh, fight for equality, but be wise. Don't do for yourself what others can do for you. Listen, it means if you understand your superpower, somebody can go to battle while you sit tattoo. And when he comes back, rub his hair. He will give you half of it. He will give you half of it. He will give you half of it. Let me tell you something. What I'm telling you, baddies know it. Listen to me. Listen to me. There is a way you will posture. Your husband will see another man at home. He will talk to you man to man. And God forbid, there is no excuse under heaven for a godly man to ever consider anything outside. But I see it in counseling that the same man struggling to drop £300 at home is building houses for people. It's a fact. And let me tell you something, it's just communication. You can be tongue-speaking and not know what I'm saying. Man, I'm coming to you. Don't worry. Do you understand what I'm saying? So, there are different dimensions of strength. Please don't try to be strong the same way. Even checking our reflexes, there's a reason why, oh my God, God is so intelligent. He put proclivities in us. He put proclivities in us so that we can perform our duties appropriately. See, let me tell you something. Women are nurturers. Are nurturers. See, if you've experienced a woman taking, have a body change, give birth to a baby, it see you will never be the same again. You You need to witness it. You need I think every sensible man will have a profound respect for women when you witness it. Just watch the baby come out of her. Watch what she has to go through. Eh, you know, when our first child was coming, my wife was under so much stress, and the woman is very strong. But I could see her fighting, fighting. And, you know, at that time, she didn't want to see anybody except me. So I'm standing by her side. I'm strong for her. You know, you know, at some point, to cope with the pain subconsciously, she was carrying my hand. She wanted to bite it. Just to I said, "Don't bite me, please. Don't bite me." Oh my God. You should have seen your apostle running errands. You don't go wrong. Press my back. Press my back. Not there. You know, I say, so sorry, I was just running. You know, see, so when the baby came out, she had instant relief. And can I tell you what happened to me next? I just burst into tears. I started crying because I didn't realize how much emotional strain I was going through. So as soon as I knew she was okay, that's when my wife started. So the nurse was so confused. So I I read I think you say you cry too now. So no be only me now. Pastor, do you cry? No cry on video. I mean, you you'll never be the same again. Women are nurturers, and because of that, instinctively, they have a proclivity for self-preservation. So now, listen to me. In terms of intelligence, there is no difference. There are many women who are more intelligent than men, but women in general are more risk-averse than men. Is that a controversial statement? I had to ask these days. You know, I took some time to study. Some people woke up and said, "We just can't prove it now, but we believe that we can circumnavigate the whole world by ocean." Mind you, they didn't have the technology they have now. Just greets Christopher Columbus and his team. Some died. I hope you know. Some died. So in every field, I think I have the note somewhere. Let me let me try if I can see it. I want to read some things to you. I must find it. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Anyway, this is going to take so much time. So, and it's there somewhere, probably looking at me. Men who injected themselves with pathogens to test the cure for smallpox and things like this. And I had the list of men who died in such explorations. Died in such explorations, doing crazy things, space explorations, and all those things. And it is that kind of balance that we need. Come on, are you listening to me? Yes, sir. Call me radical. I insist there are some things men should do that women should not do. There are some things. Please let me let me show you a picture. Please show that picture. So show that. There's a picture I gave the media team. Show it. Wait, which branch is this? Your media team is looking for my trouble. This is not the first picture I asked for. They show the show her interest. Now look, look at this lady. This beautiful lady. This is a lady after a fight. In case you are wondering, I do not believe women should be fighters. The orientation of these pictures is not correct. So you can't really understand what I'm saying. So I wish you could show her before and after the fight. Okay. Now, not in a dress. I want to I want you to show. Okay. This is how she went into the fight. This is how she went into the fight. This is how she came out. You can take it off. I am insisting. Listen, let us embrace our uniquenesses. I believe in a society where men stand up for women, protect them. Come on. Are you listening to me? Yes, sir. Uh, that's the scope of our conversation, and let's see where we're able to go with that. So we've been talking about emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence I defined as the ability to accurately perceive, interpret, and regulate. Is the ability to accurately perceive, interpret, regulate, and respond to emotions, both yours and other people's, in a way that produces wisdom and not damage. I take it again. Is the ability to accurately perceive, interpret, regulate, and respond to emotions, both yours and other people's in a way that produces wisdom and not damage. So, the reason I'm talking about the uniquenesses of men and women is because to regulate your emotions and that of others, you need to know who you are and who they are. A lot of psychologists say that if you understand how a woman thinks, or if you understand how a man thinks, that's going to help communication in marriage. We're going to explore that and see where that leads us. It's part of emotional. See, and I think one of the first steps is to agree. I'm a man, not a woman. I'm a woman, not a man. It's one of the first steps. And I can take forever talking about this, but I want to talk talk about this from two aspects. Number one, submission. And number two, communication. Especially as it pertains to gender roles and things like that. Now, please, all the men in the house, please listen to me. You are not a woman. It should go without saying, but in 2026, you have to be reminded. Do you know that? I think I saw a US soldier saying that in the army now, before you are inducted into the army, they it's heavy for me to say. I saw I saw someone in the military saying that before they enlist anyone into the army, they will check your anus to be sure that it doesn't look strange, that nothing strange has been going in there. So we're living in interesting times where those kind of measures have to be put in place so that you don't come in the army and distract people. I'm telling you what they said. Oh, and I've said time and time again. As I was preparing for this sermon, I thought about it. Jesus at the age of 12, where was he? In the temple, right? Yes, sir. Speaking to older men, much older men. And that's something you don't see a lot of in this day and age. Many young men, you see them hanging out with everyone else except older men. And I cannot tell you how important it is to have figures of strong men in your life and early because some young people see, let me tell you something. When you see the way some men act, you may not agree with it, but you understand feminism. The extreme ones, even the extreme ones, you there's a reason they are fighting. A lot of young men even in the church don't know how to treat women. Even in friendship, I see some foolish things. You are fighting, play fighting. Why you punching a lady? Yes. No. I've seen men rough handle ladies. Even little things. Do you know that you ought to be careful the way you hold ladies? Even if you're taking pictures, you don't just grab a lady you don't know. See a lady you don't know, just grab her. Some things are getting too normalized. Ladies, am I speaking up for you or not? So why you no toxins? Let me tell you something. We need to teach our young men. You know, some of you have heard me say this. It went relatively viral. Um, something happened. One of the men I mentor, um, he fell in love with somebody who is from a significantly more privileged background than he is, which is very fine, very okay. I commend both of them. I commend ladies who know how to see the prospects and judge a man by his future, not by his present. I wish I could put aside all that I was saying to talk about that. Let me advise you, it's not a man's position, it's his trajectory. Oh, some people are up. Listen, the person standing in front of you is a testament of this very idea. Is a testament. See, some people are up on the ladder, but they're coming down. Some people are down, but they are going up. It takes discernment to choose right. Don't just be petty and flimsy. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. So now they love each other. She's convinced he's going to do well. But how do you sell that to the parents? And I'm not going to mention what it is he used to do for a living at the time. And he went there. He claims I was busy so he couldn't tell me. I would have given him some advice. So he went there. The father said, "So what do you do?" And when he mentioned what he did, the man bowed his head for 5 minutes and was quiet. Do you know how long 5 minutes is? And from there on, the man became a little difficult, telling the lady, "Are you sure? Why not wait a while? Why not, you know?" And all of that. I understand all this language. I understand it well. And different thing, the lady insisted, so they went on with the marriage and all of that. And now they're having to plan the marriage almost solely from their end, paying for the hall, paying for the food, paying for almost everything. So when he eventually told me, I know some other older people that he he defers to. I called them. I said, "Let's help this guy. How much do you have?" I think 500,000. I brought 500,000. We gave him. Now, to make it look big, we gave him cash in a brown envelope. I said, "This is what you will do. Go to that man. Lie, post right, and say, 'I don't take for granted that you are covering this wedding. I can't afford to pay for everything, but this is what I have. Please take, sir.'" So he went and he did that. So, so he came back with feedback. I said, "So, what happened when he did that?" He said, "That was the first time they called him my son." He said, "My son, sit here." Uh-uh. My son, sit here. See, I've discovered I've discovered wisdom. When you see the book of Proverbs talking about wisdom and foolishness, and they're associating foolishness with youth, there's a reason because more often than not, the older you live, the more experience you have. I've seen it. Oh my God. Have you Have you listened to pure raw wisdom from an older person before? Somebody who has all the mysteries that you think you're going through in life, they will explain it because they've been there, done that, got the t-shirts. An older wise couple. There's a reason why the Bible will, for instance, say older women should instruct younger women when they the wise ones. So, not all of them. It can save it can save your life. And I can give you example upon example. Please, are you listening to me? Yes, sir. It is true when the Bible says, "In a multitude of counselors, there is safety." It is true. But now we have a culture where the men relegate care for the children solely to the women. It's the women that will do everything. You don't spend time with them. And kids, they watch everything. Oh my God. I will never forget this. I was staying with a relative for a while because I was preparing for, you know, WK, and I could overhear the conversation because the bathroom door was open, and she was bathing the young boy. I think he was five at the time. And the boy said, "Mommy, Daddy doesn't care about us, does he?" She froze. She said, "Why did you say that?" Said, "Because he just wakes up every morning and goes to work, and he's almost never there." She called her husband and said, "This is what your son said." The man went to his boss, said, "If you will fire me, fire me. I'm going home now. If you will fire me, I understand. I'm going home now." Went picked the boy from school, bought him meat pie, spent time with him, and started deliberately making adjustments. Let me tell you something. There's a reason why God designed for both the man and the woman to be parents. The kids need both. They need both. They need both. And men, God will hold you accountable. God expects you to pour into the children. You know, even now, listen, especially with my stat my privileged status, I just I don't care. I won't sacrifice my. I love you all, but I won't sacrifice my family for you. And I will not because of ministry deprive my children of their father. Sometimes it's hard to go to some public places. I'll never forget the time I went to one restaurant and I was busy squeezing was it pounded yam or and my my best friend, I was my best friend, my best friend just tapped me. I looked. Someone was recording. What? What? Why? Why? So now because of that, for a while, I wasn't really taking them out to public places, but after a while, I said, I I don't care. I don't care. So if you see me walking my kids, you greet me at that time, and I don't respond. Understand? I'm telling you now. I want to be their dad. Even that, some people don't respect it. I will never forget. I was at a Ka City Mall in one particular store. Out of the store is, I mean, the the aisle or whatever you you call it, the passage, and then stores at the other side. Right in the store at the other side, I saw someone zooming. Zoom in. Cuz my my my children like normal experiences. They like they like to go to KFC, buy snacks, and all of that. And once in a while, I take them there. Take them there, and sometimes it's always quite interesting. Please accept it. It's a matter of life, and that's not the time to ask for prayer. I'm trying to be a dad. I never forget. I mean, we ordered suya. My kids like suya. They eat it every week. So when I went there to collect it myself, there in the car, you know, as soon as I wound the glass down, and the seller saw me, you know, maybe some people think we don't eat. She seemed disappointed. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. But by the time older men step up to their responsibilities, especially in training younger men, holding them to higher. See a society of men acting and treating ladies well. Some of the arguments we're having, you won't see. See the reason why some ladies argue things like submission is because they don't know what it is. They don't know what it is. Because there are men now, e in their house, the women climb ladders to change bulbs. They climb ladders to. So if she's doing that, how do you want her? What then is your leadership? Some men, their leadership is yours. Do you have that video for me? There's a video I saw. I want to play for you. Please watch this video for me. Excellent. Excellent. I'm a country girl. My dad and um. I want someone that can cook. The man is saying. Chicken, pigs. Um, but um, yeah, I want to really get back to that again. Actually, I just bought a house in August and um getting chickens, goats, and ducks. Are you willing to just stay home and not work? I don't work. Oh, yeah. I don't work. Don't pay no one back. Don't. You're going to be a provider. What did you used to do? Um, recyclables. Uh, janitorial skills I picked up. I I've done some time, substantial amount of time. All right. Very good. Any question? I I I think you see the problem. I want a stay-at-home woman that can cook. He no get job. These are the problems. These are the problems. See, listen to me. When you have sons, start teaching them how to treat women, including their mom. Hey, God. One of the days, you know, a state with me for a while, and he he knows what I'm saying. One of the days my father almost descended on us was the day he went out and saw his wife washing the car. You remember? Were you there then? Was it me, you, Pastor Mike? He had always been nice to all of us. That day he wanted to chase us out of the house because fully grown men are in this house. And it was not our fault. My mom just has this bad habit. If she says, "Help me do this," and you say, "Okay," and you don't go instantly, she'll go and do it. So, I don't remember what we were doing that day. Maybe, you know, I don't know. Then Mr. Iran Senior went out and saw his wife washing the car with like four grown men inside. It was not easy. And these are things we should uphold. Come on. Are you listening to me? Yes, sir. Tell the young men he doesn't carry heavy things. In fact, teach them how to treat their sister. These are some of the things that will help the lady have the right expectations. Oh, help the lady. I'm not looking for a savior. I'm loved at home. I'm loved at home. I'm loved at home. And so now when that kind of leadership is providing, it's protecting. It's now let me come to the ladies. You'll be surprised. I mean, many times, a lot of people have abused this concept. It's people like this that are giving us a bad name. You don't you don't have a job. You want a stay-at-home wife. Are you looking for who to kill? Thank you, Jesus. Forgive me. My note is all about. Please. I'm just trying to Holy Ghost.
If you're a single lady, please stand up for a bit. Why were you shouting? Stand. May they see you? Uh, let's play the "put your finger down" game. So, put your hand up. Put a finger down if you would prefer to marry someone older than you. Put a finger down if, and don't be ashamed about this, if you prefer to marry someone richer than you. Why are you shouting now? Shh. Why you shout? Calm down. Put a finger down if you want to marry a protector. Put a finger down if you want to marry a provider. Put a finger down if you want to marry someone taller than you. If you have less than two fingers up, sit down. If you have less than two fingers up, sit down. No, it's one hand, by the way. One hand. So, if you have less than two fingers up, sit down. If you have less than two fingers, hey, English or Jesus, let me add one more question. Put your finger down if you want to marry someone who can speak English. But never mind. Now, that's most of you. That's what I wanted to say. Sit down. You see, let me tell you something. Women are not against submission. If you want someone taller than you, someone who can provide for you, protect you, and all of that, you want someone you can defer to. And so a lot of people act as if they don't like submission. Meanwhile, what they are against are the extremes. They're responding is a trauma response to people who have abused that position of leadership. But in your inner mind, you want it because there is a kind of safety. And now, this has been proven scientifically that when a woman is with a man that she can trust and she can defer to, her nerves are calmer. Her nerves are calmer. There's even psychology to prove women get more playful, more goofy, more sexual when they trust you. So please make the differentiation, but be clear about what you actually want. Come on. Are you getting what I'm saying? Yes, sir. And embrace your identity. He's a man. I'm a woman. And I'm unique. He's unique. Together, we make a great team. Together, we make a great team. And that's the will of God for all of us. Please say loud amen.
I'm not going to talk too much on submission. So let's talk about the other part, which is communication. I'm first going to talk about Holy Ghost help me. I believe that it really will change everything when we understand who we are and who we are married to. Because whether you like it or not, a man is not a woman, a woman is not a man. And that has implications in communication. And many times, we like to communicate with the opposite gender like they are the same gender. So, for instance, you know, I was I was listening to a psychologist, and some of you might have even seen the video. She was saying that women change when they are criticized. They may hide it. They may be sensitive about it, but it affects them. They change. They change. And so because they think it changes them, they think it will also change men. So when they try to criticize men, they expect the man to change. Men, does it work? So now, this is very important to learn this. When you constantly criticize a man, he gives up. He doesn't try harder. When you constantly criticize a man, he will agree with you. It it achieves the opposite of what you're trying to achieve. "I don't like the fact that you don't take initiative. I don't like the fact that you don't do this." He will he will relax. "I agree." Because it's counterproductive. Let me follow my notes the way I have it. So you must understand the difference when it comes to correction and encouragement. All right. So most women, most women self-improve through feedback. All right. Self-improve through feedback. But many men take feedback as a verdict on their worth. As a verdict on their worth. So if you don't learn how to communicate the right way, what the man hears is, "You are failing," and he hates to fail. And so he'll just give up. Come on. Are you listening to me? Number two, men hear tone, women hear words. Now, listen, let me say this. There is a way men argue and quarrel. If you see two men fighting, there are no rules. Oh, they can say anything. But the moment they say those things, somehow it's guy code, you know, it's just bands. The two guys the next day can go and play ball, and you you will scarcely see a guy just suddenly go cold and you say, "Bro, what's the matter?" Said, "That's how two weeks ago you said." You see the way guys are laughing, you you won't see you won't see guys do that because when they are fighting, they fight dirty. They just know the aim is to harm you at this moment with the subconscious understanding that you know that I don't mean it, but I just want to win right now. Let me advise you, that childish behavior, put it in singlehood. Don't bring it to a home. Women will not forget. Will not forget. Please, are you listening to me? Yes, sir. Now, let me tell you something. What I'm saying, you can be a tongue speaker and not know it. I've seen many times because a lot of people were never trained to emotionally regulate themselves in childhood. See, the lazy thing to do when you're hurting is to say harmful things to people. Just say harmful things. You don't know how to calm down. Even to the simple things, you always don't say that. You always do this. You can phrase that better. We have the tendency to overgeneralize and overescalate, and it's not fair. When you are dealing with a woman, you are going to have to it's part of leadership. You don't talk to a woman anyhow and say she's not submissive because it takes a lot. Let me tell you, it takes a lot for a woman to bring down her walls because she feels safe with the man that she loves. When you injure that vulnerability, it takes time to rebuild. Sometimes it takes God. You're telling a woman, "I didn't mean it." Ah, you two, you know, now I was just angry. It does not work that way. Please, are you listening to me? Yes, sir. So now, listen to me. If you say the wrong things in the right tone, a woman won't find it funny. And if you say the right thing in the wrong tone, a man a man won't find it funny. Because women, they hear words. They listen to the details of your words. Men are bigger on tone. Say it the right way. Please, are you listening to me? Yes. Let me give you some ladies. Let me tell you something. Um, Allison Armstrong gave nine keys to communicating with men. I think you should go research it. I think it's going to really help. All right. I can quickly give you some of them. Avoid mid-task discussions. So when a man is embedded in his work, maybe he has a project, a deadline to meet, and all those kind of things, that's not when you have to pick the right time to talk to a man. Please, are you listening to me? If you want to win, learn this simple thing. Guys, am I saying the truth? Why are ladies reacting like that? When it was your tongue, were you not louder? Pick the right time. Frame the request properly. Ensure safety, a safe environment. A man must always feel you are on his side. Even when you're arguing, argue from his side. If you posture as an opponent, you're in for a fight. I'm not saying it is right. I'm saying that's how men are. So please go and learn the rest. Oh, you go need. Please, are you listening to me? Yes, sir. Um, so number three, men collapse under contempt. Women collapse under indifference. Let me tell you, it has been psychologically proven why women nag. Because for women, a bad response is better than no response. The worst thing you can do to a person that cares about you, a woman that cares about you, is to go radio silence. They would rather nag to get a see shout. It's better to shout. Ladies, am I saying the truth? And some of these things are subconscious. They're not doing it deliberately, but it just I wanted to leave this for later, but you see in every home, this one is not gender-specific. I don't know why, but people who have different conflict resolution techniques usually marry each other. There will be one person who likes to wait till later, let it cool down, and then you revisit it, and then there'll be one other person who wants to talk immediately. So now, how do you reconcile both? One wants to talk now. If one person does not address it now, they can't sleep. If the other person does not adjourn it, it's going to affect the person. How do you now handle that? And if you're not careful, this can cause contempt because your partner will be looking at you. "You are so wicked. So something as serious as this is happening. You are sleeping. You are sleeping. How can you sleep peacefully?" If you're not careful, to get deeper, that means you don't love me. You can't possibly just move on. And the way out or the way forward is the middle ground. Now, listen very carefully. Please don't tell a partner that wants to talk that you simply don't want to talk. You can't do that in a marriage. So what you do when you say, "We can't, I can't, I don't want to talk about this now," you have to say when. Give a time and if possible a place, and say, "Can we revisit this 4 p.m. this evening?" Now, listen, something has to give. You two, you have to you're going to have to wait. It's a compromise for him to even put or her to put a time, and then you you you respect that time or you negotiate, you know. Um, I saw some psychologists do a role play about it. So the lady comes and says, because sometimes it's a lady. Now, wait, let me ask married people, which is which? Who is who in this in that marriage? Who likes to allow things cool down and address it later? If that's you, raise. No, you'll be surprised. Some ladies, too. Thank you. Then if you like to talk about it now, now, now, now, raise your hand. You see, so sometimes it's the reverse. Come on. Are you listening to me? So now when one person comes and says, "I don't really like how that conversation went," and the other person says, "I don't really want to talk about it now," say some say something like, "Okay, so you promise you're going to revisit it, and that you're going to volunteer to lead the conversation." I I'm not going to be the one.
Having having to remind you. And he said, "Yeah, and give the time and the place." And for the meantime, give each other space. It's okay. Come on. Are you listening to me? You see what I am telling you is little things like this that make command relationships. Little things like this. And I beg you, please deliberately practice this or whatever else works. Just shouting will never work. It will never bring the best out of your spouse. Never. Never. Come on. Are you getting what I'm saying?
>> Yes, sir.
>> I want to finish so I can try to take questions if you if that's okay with you. Um, so much I can't address but um What number are we on? Men retreat when overwhelmed. Women pursue when overwhelmed. Men go quiet. Women go closer. You know, I heard the pastor talk about it and it's very true in my home that maybe when PL has a stressful stressful stressful day. What you would like is me doing things to make her more comfortable. So, what do you want? You would you like to eat this? Maybe even helping, you know, with a few things. When I'm overwhelmed, what I need is space. That's what I need. So these things, you see these little things, what some of the things I'm saying, you may not even consider them as useful, but it is helping your emotional intelligence. When you find yourself in that context, you now say, "Oh, this is it." And you will know how to better act. And that's what we need. Honestly, that's what we need. Praise the Lord.
>> Hallelujah.
>> Now, let me say this. When it comes to overall communication, there are quite a number of single people here. The most important principle for having a happy marriage is marrying the right person. You can't practice communication skills with Satan. It won't work. It will all the things I said won't work on Satan. I'm just telling you the truth. And you see that phrase right person, that's another thing a lot of people get wrong. For instance, a lot of people don't know what compatibility is. You don't know what compatibility is. That you have things in common doesn't make you compatible. The number one yard stick for measuring compatibility will be the big things, the big picture that you have the same core values, you have the same goal orientations. Come on, are you following what I'm saying? The same core values, the same life goals, the same communication styles. Now that's compatibility. If you share things in common, that's just hobby. Let me give you some examples. This is a major one. You may not realize how major this is until you get married. There are some people who like to enjoy and experience life. So they are the kind of people who will splash good money on a party or an experience or on a trip and things like that. And then there are some other people they prioritize safety and security. Financial safety and security. If those two people get married except they find a middle ground on how to handle those things, they will fight and fight because one person will feel like you are squandering our future and the other person will feel constrained like what kind of marriage I can't express myself. I just want to go on a trip and enjoy myself. You see this thing I'm saying? Ah, if you figure out finance conversations, eh, 50% of your marriage troubles are over. And I'm I'm I'm I'm even being moderate with that. 50%. 50%. You know, it applies in other areas. If you're somebody who is um into personal growth, you like to learn to evolve and all of that, subconsciously you will secretly hold your partner to that same standard. And if your partner is not passionate about growth and improvements, it would you will not secret resentment. More often often than not, it happens. And maybe your partner is more conservative, likes stability, doesn't really like change. But in the name of personal growth, you like to evolve, try new things, explore. That's a compatibility issue.
>> Come on. Are you getting what I'm saying?
>> Conflict resolution is another issue. See, when you are dating, please listen to the sermon I preached last year. Marriage is a business decision. Use your dating time well. Stop asking foolish question. So, did you eat? Eat for me now. Oh, yeah. Go and eat for me. Go and eat for me. Go and eat for me. Don't waste Don't waste your time. There are valuable questions. I think somewhere in this series I will show you for instance there are at least eight medical tests you should do before you marry anybody stop playing at least know what you're getting into and if you know they do fine do know what you're getting into you know I think it was pastor who was saying this that he met a family in that family it's a law before you marry in this You will submit the person that you're considering to an investigation process. Oh yes. That they will get investigators to whilst you may be thinking that's extreme. YOU'LL BE SURPRISED THAT MAN HAS WIFE SOMEWHERE. He should say he has wife somewhere. Things they happen. He's playing away. At least just know what you're getting into. It's an uncomfortable process. I hope it's not streaming. The first time I did HIV test, I did it with my dad. We went together. So I could tell that the old man was anxious and he started advising me and he was just I think that was his way of coping. You see it's not the end of the world no matter the outcome. I almost told you sir I'm good. Are you uncomfortable but necessary necessary. These days some people don't even really know their genotype or their blood group. didn't know is what they told them when they were growing up. Some judge because of the frequency of how they have malaria that ah I usually have malaria therefore that's the blood test for some people these things are very important communication style one person one space for conflict resolution. Resolution. The other person wants to talk. I'm not saying that's a deal breaker. Well, how do you handle that? Those are conversations to have. What are the ground rules? Talk things through. Talk things through. When we're quarreling, we're not going to slam the door against each other. See, I've seen a lot of solid people have to come to a point to say, "Okay, this is a bad habit. We we're going to need to change this." No slamming the door. And if you are uncomfortable with the conversation now, communicate. Communicate. Don't just eloop. One person likes to yell and you just say your mind and after 10 minutes you are done. The other person shuts down. and needs some days to repair. Do you know how damaging it can be for those two people to be together? Because the person who likes to shut down will now be damaged by your yelling, will be traumatized by your yelling. And the person who likes to yell will now be annoyed that you shut down like I'm talking to you. You're not responding. Problem. So now these are some of the things that you need to understand. Find a middle ground. And then please for God's sake, I'm not really want to recommend books, but I think you should read this. I I like at least the idea of the book and what they're trying to communicate. The seven seasons of marriage, Gary Chapman. When you read that book, you will see that what many people are going through in marriage is actually totally normal. Completely normal. Completely normal. In every marriage, there will be the honeymoon phase. Honeymoon phase. Always holding hands, floating in the air, pressing people's necks. And then it gets to a point You're a little bit disappointed because you're seeing things that are like a culture shock to you. I thought you'll be this. I thought you'll be that. I So how you handle that disappointment? See many psychologists have even put timelines to all these phases. They would tell you for instance if you cross year seven if you cross year seven that marriage may survive forever but somebody can now be you're like I don't escape. Okay, that was funny. But if you don't know this, you are going through it and it will feel strange. You're going through it. There are seasons in the marriage. You see, let me tell you, when your wife has just put to bed, watch it. Satan is around the corner for so many reasons. Because because of what the woman has been through, it's a lot. She she can't take care of two babies. You two, you will have to step up. So, there's that. She's bonding with another human being, you know, and and and ladies, you also have to be deliberate. Once in a while, drop that baby with someone trusted. Go out and play with your husband. You see that season is very dangerous. Very dangerous. Huh? And then especially the seasons where the lady is taking time to repair, the man can't torture, those seasons are dangerous. Are you listening to me?
>> Yes, sir.
>> If it was when you were single as a godly man, you've not tasted before. You are good. If you tasted and then something happens, they say stop.
>> Come on. Are you listening to me?
>> There are some things I would have said, but some of you don't need to hear it now. But all I would tell married people in that season is do other things. Let the hearer understand. Pastor is just getting it after 15 full minutes. Praise the Lord.
>> Hallelujah.
>> But I think one thing we can conclude is a lot has been said. One sure thing is this. You're going to need to study. You're going to need to work hard. There is no easy way out. Even if God tells you who to marry, it will make it easier. You know, I preached this for the first time, I think in 2015. I gave an example in Acts 13. Even though his ministry is still related, the Holy Ghost said, "Separate unto me Paul and Barnabas for the work where to have called them." In case you don't notice later, you now see Paul and Silas, not Paul and Barnabas. So, what happened? I'll tell you. They fought Paul and Barnabas anointed men of God. They fell out. The Bible says that the contention between both of them was sharp. So they went separate ways. Men full of the spirit. Even if the Holy Ghost said these people should do ministry together, they couldn't handle differences. The reason why some people insist on God telling them who to marry is because they think that will absorb them of the responsibility of working hard to make it work. You you will be surprised. You will be surprised. There is no easy way out. You're going to be intentional. You're going to go through counseling where necessary. Buy books. I'm of the opinion if you have not read seven books on marriage, you're not ready for marriage. And I like to say it this way because some people don't really know what these things entail. You think it's a fairy tale? So I I want to put a knowledge requirement just to help you to understand what's at stake. Sol Solomon was a good president and was a bad father. For some people they find it easier to run a country than to lead a home. It's big work. And the funny thing is both of you are individually sweet people. Sweet people. It's just the working together. Hey, come on. Are you listening to me?
>> Yes, sir.
>> So, please and please, the final thing I want to say is do the work. I maybe some other time I wish I had the time to bring it to your context. E because you see what the devil has done, the parable of the sewer, I think is a fitting metaphor here that the seed in Matthew 13 is what?
>> Answer me loud if you know it.
is the word of God. So even if the word is unadulterated, there is nothing wrong with it. It's accurate. If it falls in the wrong place, there will still be problem. So now what the devil does many times, he will leave the word and buy the field so that he can control where the seed falls. For instance, how are you going to practice godly marriage in a difficult you don't even know the difficulties of your context. There are some simple things back home that make marriage easier. Simple. There is something that is from heaven. Heaven introduced Nigeria to it. It's called see let me tell you many marriages don't recover when the child comes because the woman will nurse resentment she feels left alone especially African men that feel it is a a woman's job why you complaining our mothers did not complain In case you have not clocked it in a in a climb like this, the rules are different. You will wash plate. You will wash plates. You change diaper. That one is not a matter of submission. You're going to have to cooperate. You're going to have to cooperate because when the devil just one change when the devil makes it very hard for one working person to foot all the bills and two parents have to go out. If you don't fight for the home, you're already in trouble. If you don't fight for the home, both of you are going out of the house. Both of you are walking, but is one person carrying the baby? If you don't put some structures in place, there is already problem. Are you getting what I'm saying?
>> Yes, sir.
>> So, you now have to find a way to game the system in a godly way. Like I don't mean that like cutting corners or all of that, but how does this work for parenting, raising children? How is it going to work? What are we going to do? Yeah, we are both going to work but one of us it will be remote work or what or shift find a way around it. You understand your context better than myself. But all I'm trying to tell you is don't think it's going to be a walk in the park. Do you understand what I just said?
>> Yes, sir.
>> May the Lord help us.
>> Amen.
>> Give us more wisdom.
>> Amen.
>> May the enemy remain far away from our homes.
>> Amen.
>> May any negative prophecy working against any family here, may those prophecies fail.
>> Amen.
>> And I pray that you are going deeper and deeper in love.
>> Nobody will be scared of marriage because of your example.
>> Amen.
>> Instead, God is going to use you to model that strong homes, godly homes are possible and in fact they do exist.
>> Amen.
in the mighty name of Jesus.
>> Thank you, Father.
>> Thank you, Lord.
>> In Jesus mighty name.
>> Amen.
>> Please, can I take a few questions? Is that okay? All right. Let me take three questions. If you don't have questions, that's fine. That maybe even better. But if you have a question, please. Oh, yeah. Now, quickly stand up if you have a question. All right. Yeah. Hallelujah.
>> Hallelujah.
>> Thank you.
>> Thank you very much.
>> Yeah. you were speaking and you said that how do you talk to what is the person All right. So, you have to understand that the foundation to helpful tips like this is consideration. Consideration. Anybody who uses tips like this for even more manipulation is just being wicked. Of course, one month is a no no. What do you What do you mean one month? So, let me use the Bible as a yard stick. It says, "Do not let the sun go down on your wth. So I think anything more than 6 hours is way too much depending on the gravity of the situation but I don't think it should it should it can't be more than 12 hours no matter what. So hopefully that that helps. All right one more question. Okay two more. Go ahead. Good evening, church. Good evening, pastor.
>> Come on. What's What's up with the mics?
>> Good evening, church.
>> Good evening, church. Pastor, thank you for the sermon.
>> Um, my question is primarily from Sunday, but the question is, how do you balance self introspection not becoming self condemnation or a consistent game towards yourself when you're handling? That's a very good question and that's why I think all relationships horizontal relationship should be an offshoot of vertical relationships. I think we take our identity first from our relationship with the Lord and just knowing that the Lord loves us. All right? And he's committed to our improving our improving, you know. So I think our sense of selfworth should come from that and especially knowing that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. All right? So God doesn't condemn me. That becomes a platform for self-improvement. I must find a way to separate it, you know. And that's why I try to balance that sermon by saying when you understand people's background and the things that they had to go through, you will be more understanding. Remember I said that in the sermon. All right. So those are some of the things. Don't give up on yourself. Acknowledge the aspects you need to grow. Invest in them deliberately. Get the books. Get counseling. Some of us need more work than others. And then you see there are some self-sabotaging behaviors, very dangerous personal traits that we must try to deliberately walk through. All right. through counseling, reading books and all of that. And the more you do those kind of things, you know, self-improvement, reading books, personality tests, and in fact, prayer, spiritual development, too. I think it's only going to be a matter of time when you see how far you've come, you begin to cut yourself some slack. But at the end of the day, your vertical relationship should be the basis for every horizontal relationship. In fact, yeah, I acknowledge the fact that there are a lot of things I'm working on. Well, anybody who doesn't really understand that. Well, I'm sorry, but I accept myself. You know, it was part of the sermon to accept yourself and to love yourself. All right? Not to excuse the excesses but to make sure that that's now the platform from which you improve. All right. So it's it's very important. I don't I hope that's helpful for you. Thank you. Let me tell you something. For instance, the mistakes you've made, you've already made. Accept it. You can't turn back the hands of the clock. Now you are older, wiser. If you were in that situation in 2026, you do differently. But don't allow the devil hang it over your head forever. Come on. Are you getting what I'm saying?
>> And that's where righteousness consciousness will now come in. Your gravity in the spirit, your knowledge of the word of God, there is therefore now no condemnation. And also you must believe in the providence of God. Even the relationships that I think I jeopardized in the past is all still working out for good in God. My best is always in the front.
>> So, so just accept yourself, accept where you're coming from, and then the path of the just is as the shining light that shines brighter and brighter. And so, you're going to need a lot of selft talk when you find yourself in that space where you feel like, you know, You're slipping into self- condemnation, self-t talk. I know who I am in Christ. I'm loved by God. And you know, say say stuff like that. If you need to write out confessions and say it regularly, please go ahead and do so. Thank you. Please go ahead.
>> Good evening, church.
>> Thank you, sir, for the word. So, you mentioned that a man must always feel we are on his side and then we should argue from his So how do you do that when you are trying to make them see your own side of the issue?
>> You know what I skipped many things for time sake. So thank you for bringing me back. One of my major arguments to try and help women when it comes to submission issue is this. Women don't treat all men the same way. Is it true or false?
>> How do you treat your boss at work? How do you treat your dad? Sometimes you change your family, the quality of your family simply by treating that man The way you treat men that you respect. That's all. All these things you instinctively know it all in the right in different context. A woman knows when she's talking too much. She knows when it's your superior at work. You know how to keep quiet and let him realize as time goes on that he was wrong. You know those things. You know those things. You must deal with your husband with faith. This is very powerful. You must see him as if as if he's the kind of man already that you want him to be. You must speak to the prince in him. If you speak to him any other way, he will shrink. He will stop expressing himself. He will not like the version of him you will see. See Let me put it this way. I taught on this when I um preached the sermon Michelangelo. All right? And it's a true life story. How that many other sculptors saw this stone and they didn't think they could make much out of it. But Michelangelo saw something in the stone that other people didn't see. And he ironically or maybe intentionally carved out David from it. Because the stone that the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone. You get what I'm saying? And that became one of the best art pieces. You know it is true in relationship. The same person you are complaining about will break up with you get with another person have a happy mar. See we don't like to talk about it. We'll be looking at them. Maybe you were the problem. It wasn't just you, but it was also your ability to bring out the best in that person. And every two people must enter into marriage with their chisels in their hands. You're getting in there to work on each other. There's a way to bring out the best in your husband. There is a way. Ah, my god. I saw it in my own home. My dad learned from experience to listen to his wife. He started seeing a pattern when I don't listen to this woman I enter serious problem because the woman whether it's prophetic gifts or something she will just see him with some work colleagues I say obey me that's my husband in in Ebio watch these people I don't trust them my dad was having some diamond transactions with some Indians I think he went home, opened it, and I think he saw water instead of dam something. Listen. And guess what? When when my dad didn't listen, she kept quiet. When when he saw it once, twice, three times. Come on. I get what I'm saying? Understand this now. You can never get any good anything good out of a man that you schooled. It will never work. If your goal is the betterment of the relationship, you are going to need to try something else. I'm not saying you should shrink. Express yourself. You're a human being. There will be times you have to speak up when you don't feel heard. But just remember, if you're trying to win, there is a more excellent way. I don't know if that helps. All right. Thank you. So that's the third question. We're done, right?
>> Was this worth your time?
>> All right. Okay. One more. Ah. All right. Last one.
>> Um testing. Okay. Good evening, sir. Um you mentioned previously that two believers should be able to marry. However, today you've now also mentioned that compatibility is a huge factor. So where do we strike the balance?
>> Thank you very much. The balance simply is those of you who did um economics. Did you ever hear centisibos?
>> Please, what is the translation?
>> All things equal,
>> All things being equal, two believers ought to be able to get married. But is that the reality? No. Because you are dealing with free moral agents. Listen, do you know that God forbid you get married to somebody who chooses to be foolish? What is my role is to advise if If he or she refuses to listen, what do I do? What do I do? You know, I've said it jokingly, you know, especially in the early days of the of the ministry. There was this guy who was treating this lady badly. She had just joined our church and she joined the church when they were already separated. So, I didn't really have any pastoral authority over the guy. I went to his office, sat at the reception. The receptionist told him, "I'm downstairs." He didn't come down with all my grace. H if anybody who doesn't want to listen would listen. It's a fact. That's what the book of First Corinthians is about. and something like that that Hebrews talked about that when you ought to be teachers, you have need of milk. I've seen it many times even with pastors. Even with pastors, you know, is my wife I pity because she has a lot more compassion than myself. So, so she counels a lot more people. And there are some couples, it's not my business, I'm not the one counseling. I'm annoyed just listening over the phone. That don't stress my wife now. Every two nights phone call. So what did he do? What you to what did you see? That's a fact. So I'm judging based on the experiences I see on a on a daily dayto-day basis. I'm not saying it ought to be so, but it's just a reality. Do you get what I'm saying? And that's why don't take anything at face value. He goes to church. We attend the same church. Don't take it at face value because when the saints gather, servants also gather. Let me drop one for you before you go. When Satan was bringing the proposition in the throne room and was saying, "Test job. If you test job, he will curse you and die. If you" He kept saying that. Was Job there? Was his wife there? How come his wife who was not there at all eventually said the exact same thing that Satan has been saying told him cause God and die. Maybe the wife of Job was Satan's target all along. Maybe Satan even knew that Job will not cave in under pressure. And that's why he killed everybody and left her. Oh yes. He came to the house and say ah spirit call you know. By the way they also it works vice versa. In neighbor's case the wife was the good one. He was the man that was crazy. These things happen. Let me tell you something. Even if you are faithful to the Lord, if you marry somebody that will cave under pressure, Satan will go for that person. And it's a pattern. The same thing, the serpent didn't go for Adam. And in the case of Job, it was his wife too. It was his wife. Because you see, this is a lesson on its own. There are some people when the circumstances are good. I've seen people the man was making money. You were enjoying it. Both of you were happy. Then disaster struck. Some people don't know how to do well under pressure. You'll be surprised. Your husband will tell you cause God and die. And it happens a lot. A lot of men abandon their wives when they are sick. Statistically proven. And now we are not even built for that. Because even just common exchange of vows in sickness and in health, you say in health and health, you think you are speaking positively because some of us don't want to embrace any form of hardship and you're not being positive about it. You come on. Are you getting what I'm saying?
>> These are the real issues. You can have a happy home because disaster has not struck. That's all I'm telling you. That's what happened to Job. The wife didn't show any trait before then. Thank you all very much. Let's