Transcription
In 2025, I spoke on two of the biggest podcasts in the world. I did a keynote for a billionaire. My team and I ran over 50 plus communication classes, and we grew over 15 million followers. But behind these wins, there were many lessons that I had to learn the hard way that have taught me so much about life. And in this video, I want to share with you 25 lessons that most people learn too late.
This is the kind of video that I don't normally post. Normally, I post a lot of content about communication skills. This one's going to be a little bit different. Today is day one of the Dubai 1 Billion Follower Summit. We're going to be showing the stage of some of the biggest creators in the world. We literally saw Mr. Beast just walk past us in the lobby. So, we're going to spend the first half day connecting with others. Then, we've got a keynote slot. Day two is going to be us running a workshop for 4 hours. So, this is a massive two days of networking, keynoting, and workshopping.
Lesson number one: Live the story you want to tell. Let me explain this. I teach storytelling, and one of the biggest objections I get from my students is they say to me, "Havin, I don't have any good stories." If you want great stories, then go live them. Live them so you can tell them. The very reason we're here in Dubai right now is because I said to my team, "I want to be able to tell the story and say the story. Do you remember that time we did New Year's in Dubai? Do you remember how we saw the fireworks on the Burj? Do you remember how amazing that was?" We now can tell the story because we've lived there. So, in 2026, live the stories you want to tell. Don't be like most and wait for life to happen and wait for amazing things to happen. Go create the very moments that you desire.
"Okay. What are you most excited about?"
"I'm most excited about connecting with other creators around the world because where I'm from, South Australia, there's not many creators. So, we're here with hundreds of creators from all over the world, which is super exciting."
"What would you say to those young kids out there? What would be your best life life advice?"
"A lot of young kids always think about, 'How do I discover what I'm meant to do in my life?' Well, I learned this lesson from my dad. How did I discover what I wanted to do? Here's the metaphor. How did you discover what your favorite food is? So, my favorite food is satay from Malaysia. How did I discover that dish? I had to try hundreds of dishes before I found satay, right? How do you find what you love in life? Same thing. Try lots of different things. As a kid, don't be in a rush to make money. Don't be in a rush to monetize. Be more in a rush to taste all the flavors. And once you taste all the flavors, you'll find one that you love."
"And I think that's one of the best parts towards finding what you love. Finding your purpose is tasting all the flavors."
"Love that, my friend. Thank you very much."
"My pleasure. Lovely to meet you."
"I did my first ad. I was myself, man. I was like..."
"...probably my worst."
"We all do. We all do ourselves, mate."
"It's... Well, well, it's desensitization, right? You do it yourself because it's probably the first time you've done it. You do it a thousand times, you'll no longer..."
"I met some of the window cleaners of these buildings. Right. And I said to them, 'You must be yourself up there every day.' Like, 'I've done this for five, six years.'"
"Yeah. Okay."
"'I call this a Tuesday.'"
"So I think a lot of the times we mistake a lack of familiarity for this crazy fear that we feel. Just get more familiar with it."
The next lesson I want to share with you is something most people don't know about me and didn't know what happened to me last year. Just before my podcast I did with Steven Bartlett on Diary of a CEO, one of the world's biggest podcasts, as I was leaving Australia, just before my plane was about to leave, one of my family members messaged me to let me know that they've just been diagnosed with cancer. This was one of the worst pieces of news that I've received all year. And then I got that text. I sent one text back. The plane took off, and there was no Wi-Fi on the plane. So the whole time I could not reach out to my family member. So I landed, got on the phone, started speaking to my family member, crying on the phone, and then within hours after that, I had to get on the podcast with no sleep. I couldn't enjoy it because my mind was frazzled. I saw five minutes of the podcast and I spoke too quickly. I spoke in circles. I rushed my answers, and I was beating myself up. And it reminds me of this concept in Buddhism that my dad shared with me about how pain comes in the form of two arrows. The first arrow is an event that happens in your life that you can't avoid. So for me, that event, the first arrow, I did a bad job. I didn't do that great of a job. The second arrow was me then beating myself up. You see, the first arrow I could not avoid. But the second arrow, the arrow of me beating myself up consistently weeks after the Diary of a CEO. That could have been avoided. So this year, I want to get good at only being struck by the first arrow and minimizing the number of times I strike myself with the second arrow. I want to be kinder to myself. I want to give myself more grace. And I want to remind myself, and not just others, that I am also human. And guess what? You are too. So give yourself some grace this year. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Wow, look at that big billboard. The only thing missing up there, Peter, is my face. You know, I look at this and one of the lessons I've learned in this life so far is you're not as good as you think you are, but you're also not as bad as you think you are. Because even though I'm not up there, guess who's still speaking on the main stage, baby? And Peter, look at that billboard. We'll be up there next year, baby. We'll be up there.
One of the most difficult things I've done in the last 12 months is the book writing process. Oh my goodness. It's one of the most challenging things because when you are speaking in person, you've got your voice, you've got your body language, you've got your presence. There's so many different things that you can incorporate. Whereas when you write a book, you are now confined to words on a page. And there were so many moments when I was writing this book that I felt, "I can't do this. It's too hard. Maybe I shouldn't have started this process." But then I had to keep reminding myself that struggle is where we grow. Doing hard things is where we become better. So, as you go through this year, pick something hard to do. And while it feels hard, continually remind yourself it's meant to be because that's where growth lives. So, choose hard things. Pick one thing and give it a crack. And the book's coming out soon, and it's going to be great. I hope. Don't worry, there's a refund policy if it isn't.
All right. Where do you think we should film, uh, film, film the next... There's another sign. Peter, let's do it over there. Added credibility. We're just in the middle of some filming. Good to meet you, bro.
"Picture."
"Yeah, let's do a quick picture, man. No worries."
"Much love, man. Take care. All the best. Enjoy the conference."
The craziest thing about being at a creator conference is you get to see and meet some of your favorite creators. And it just made me reflect because there was a time in my life where I knew more about my favorite creators and had more clarity on what my favorite creators wanted to do with their year and their chapter of life than I knew about myself. I had no clarity on what I wanted to do, and it was crazy. And when I reflect on it, well, why do I know more about my favorite creators? Because I spend more time watching them. I spend more time getting to know them than I do getting to know myself. I would say you have to get to know yourself more than you understand the Avengers or you understand the Game of Thrones characters. Sometimes we know our characters that we love more than we know ourselves. So many people feel lost, overwhelmed, a lack of clarity simply because they haven't learned more about themselves. I've been able to understand more who I am.
"So then I can take actions that's more aligned with who I am."
"Whereas when you don't know who you are, you take random action. And random action does not lead to happiness. So one of the big lessons I want to apply to myself this year is I want to spend more time getting to know myself, just like I'm reviewing 2025 with you in this video. I hope you'll take the time to reflect on your 2025 to collect all the clues on who you want to become in 2026. Seek curiosity. Be more curious because there were times on my journey I let ego get in the way and I thought, 'Oh, I know everything.' But I think when we're young, the more we learn from others, the more we're able to advance in our careers. Yeah. And you're asking a lot of questions. It's fantastic."
"Thank you so much."
"So nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too."
"Hi, man."
"Hey, brother. How are you? Nice to meet you."
"Listen, um..."
"It's okay. Sorry. Take a breath. Take a breath."
"You have no idea how you inspired me."
"Oh, thank you. Like your video where you were talking about the fact that don't use the... and we forgot how to pose. Yeah."
"And you know, you changed my life with only that part, and you have no idea how honored I am to be a speaker with you in the same event."
"Oh, you're speaking here, Sammy? Oh, that's incredible. Congratulations."
"Thank you. Like, I'm really a big fan. I've been following you like from a very long time."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah. I speak four languages, and this is like a big barrier for me. Especially when I communicate in English, I struggle to pick the words. They used to be for me too."
"I speak three languages."
"Oh, you speak three?"
"Three? Yeah."
"Oh, awesome."
"Chinese, Vietnamese, and English."
"Nice to meet you. Do you want a conversation?"
"How did you overcome like when you speak three languages?"
"Yes. Yes."
"When you switch, sometimes struggle a lot when, uh, so how do you... how do you..."
"The only way I got good at English is I had to make English my primary language that I spoke. Back then, when I spoke Vietnamese and Chinese, my primary language I spoke 80% of the time was Vietnamese and Chinese."
"So you will be good at the thing you do most."
"All right."
"So then I had to start speaking. I had to make more friends that were English-speaking. Because all of my friends were Vietnamese, and all of my friends were Chinese. So when I go to school, even though I'm at an English school, I speak Vietnamese during the breaks. I speak Chinese during the breaks to my friends. So I had to get out of my comfort zone and make more friends with Westerners who spoke English. And the more you immerse yourself in English, the more you have to speak it. The more you speak it, the better you get."
"So, it's so simple. But I... I didn't realize that."
"Simon, my friend, how are you?"
"We finally connect."
"What's your dream? That's what I want to know."
"Well, I love helping people learn how to play their instrument. Because I think of this as, you may have the greatest music written by Beethoven, but if you can't play it well, is it great music? So, I think everybody has great music within them. My dream is to help them unlock that music and play their music beautifully."
"I have a young entrepreneur who what dreams of being an actor."
"Oh, wow."
"And we've just flown him out from London. Say something to test his voice and then give us some feedback."
"Well, I'd love you to share your dream. Let's hear how you would share and articulate your dream."
"How I articulate it? Oh my god, that's difficult. Um..."
"Well, I am an actor."
"And being an actor is difficult."
"Yes."
"But having said that, being an actor is the best thing in the world."
"All I would say is a lot of the times when we ask the question point blank, the first thing we tend to do is we um, and we are, and then we apologize for what we're about to say. That's true."
"Right. So we go, 'Um, uh, sorry, I...' Instead of doing that, just say nothing and pause and think. Because as you pause and think deeply, people now associate that with, 'Oh, he's thinking deeply. He's going to share something rather brilliant.' So that just heightens your value as opposed to subtract the value from you. You've just helped millions of people articulate their dream between the two of you. Thank you. Thank you for what you do."
"And you facilitated it. So, thank you for what you do."
"You're an awesome human being. Very talented."
"Turns out also very tall."
"Oh, thank you. Oh, yeah."
"All right. Good to see you."
"Thank you. Good to see you, too."
I'm just in the green room. We're literally about to go on stage. And one of the most common questions I get asked is, "Bin, how do I deal with nerves?" When you're about to get in front of a thousand people, what do you do to help you control the nerves? One simple quick thing you can do is a psychological tip. A lot of the times you get nervous because you're thinking mostly about you. How am I going to come across? What will people think of me? What will they think of what I'm saying? If they ask me a question, am I going to know the answer? It's me, me, me, me, me, me, me. So, the more you think about you, the more self-conscious you become naturally. So, if you want to break out of that self-consciousness and hyper self-consciousness, all you have to do is take all of that self-consciousness and put it outward. So, what do I do to help me not get nervous? I think about the thousand people out there that I can impact. The more I think about them, the less I have cognitive capacity to think over myself, the less nervous I'm going to become. So that's what I'm doing right now in my head as I prepare for this presentation.
When I think about imposter syndrome, I think of this. I had this belief in my mind that I had to be a level 9,000 before I was allowed to teach anything. You have to make sure you've got a PhD, multiple degrees. Because at the time when I first started, I was like a level 10. When I was a level 10, I just thought, "No, no, you have to be here before you do anything." But then I learned an extremely valuable lesson. Because the person who is at level 10 creating content for communication, for example, who are they the best teacher for? They are the best teacher for those who are at level 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The teacher at level 10 remembers what it's like at level 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The teacher who's at level 9,000 has long forgotten the nuances of a beginner. I'm not creating content for these people here. I'm creating content to teach these people here. That gave me permission to move forward. And then an accidental realization is that when you teach a craft, it makes you better at the thing you're doing. So I realized that when I was at level 10 and I started teaching people here, that helped me get to level 11 because as you teach a craft, you deepen your knowledge within that realm. And this became this wonderful roadmap that every time I felt imposter syndrome, it was telling me that you're on the right path towards mastery. My friends, we experience imposter syndrome every step of the way. Don't let it interfere with you becoming the future version of you.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Lovely. Thank you.
I struggled with English all my life. So, the teasing started before YouTube. Teasing started when I was a kid. And I remember coming home to my mom and I... I... I didn't know what to do. Mom and dad were the wisest people I knew. So I'd come home and I'd say, "Mom, dad, what do I do? What do I do, mom?" And my mom looked at me and she just said, "If someone gives you a gift and you don't want this gift, who does this gift belong to?"
"To me."
"It belongs to me, right? Fantastic. So my mom then explained to me that son, when you go to school and these kids give you the gift of negativity, and you don't want this gift of negativity, who does the gift of negativity belong to? It belongs to them. So my mom shared with me this beautiful lesson that just because people are trying to gift you negativity, and trust me, people online gift me negativity all the time. But the thing is, I didn't look at it as, 'I have a choice. I don't have to accept your gift just because you give it.' If it's a crappy gift, I don't want it. Anytime someone tries to throw me something negative in person or online, I think, 'Do I want to bring it home to my family?' So to me, do not fall victim to imposter syndrome. Do not fall victim to accepting every single comment as if you're going to take that gift home now, divide it into eight, and share it with your friends. Steve Jobs says, 'Those people in the world who are crazy enough to believe they can change the world, they are the people who actually do.' Those of you who are crazy enough to believe you can create anything you desire in this life and create impact that changes the world, you are the very people who will."
Thank you. THANKS EVERYONE. HELLO. LOVELY to meet you. I'm...
"And I'm your coworker."
"Oh, wow. What? That's crazy. You teach it as well."
"Appreciate it."
"Oh, that's amazing. Congratulations on what you've built."
"Thank you so much."
"We need more communication coaches in the world."
"Of course. Can I take..."
"Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely."
"I have... I try to do these videos, content, but I tend to have a stammer when I do it. But sometimes when I talk to someone, you know, like I'm celebrating like for you..."
"Yes."
"...it tends to happen. I tend to speed up my speech."
"Yes. Yes."
"What advice... who do you have for me?"
"You almost had part of the answer in your question. The reason we stumble is because we're speaking too quickly."
"Well, I... I'm not able to stop that."
"Uh, well, we can. Because just slow down your speech now. Just give it a go. Continue to speak with me, but slow down to my level."
"So, I'm starting a clothing brand."
"Oh, slow it down. Lower."
"So, I'm starting a clothing brand in..."
"Yes."
"...and I would love to give you a piece."
"Yes. What would your shirt size be?"
"I'm a large."
"You're a large. Now, you see, you see what you just did there?"
"You come across more calm."
"Yeah."
"You come across more collected. You come across more composed."
"Whereas before, if I come to you like this and I'm talking to you like this, what you're going to do is you're going to start feeling really anxious."
"But you see how you feel."
"It's not just a stammering issue. It's or stumbling issue. It's also going to be that you raise the anxiety in other people. Whereas if you come over and you're much more calm and you're collected, like I'm just by slowing down, just like I am now. Don't you feel more calm?"
"Yeah."
"And that's... and we can speed up when we're passionate if we want to. But don't stay there."
"One of the most common reasons why people stumble over the words and they start. It's because they increase their rate of speak, and you can control them."
"Thank you very much."
"Yeah, you just did. Just finished the keynote. I miss doing those. It was a previous life thing I used to do. But listen on to the next lesson. The next lesson I want to share with you is invest in your environment. I never realized the importance of creativity in life in general. Creativity as a father to think of really fun and eventful things to do with the family. Creativity as an entrepreneur, creativity as a creator. Creativity requires an optimal environment. This is why with our office, we invested into getting murals. We invested into making it fun. We do this because we understand that creativity is a competitive advantage. So invest in your environment this year. Create a space where you can be creative. Onto the next thing."
This one's, uh, it's a little bit different because it's not just about the last 12 months. This one is about the last four to about five years. I've had to redefine my definition of success. So, in my previous chapters of life, my definition of success was more about building financial abundance and wealth. That was a big value of mine because I came from a refugee family. But then that definition of success was no longer serving me. And for many years, I didn't redefine my definition of success. I've now redefined it to this: Doing things I love with people that I love. I have a team that I love, a team that I enjoy. We get along. We laugh till tears come out when we create content. We're silly. We're playful. And I share this with you because I also see many people live with one definition of success that they defined 20 years ago. And that definition no longer serves them in this chapter. So, think about the chapter you're in now. And I want to ask you this question as you comment down below: What is your definition of success in this chapter of life? And does it need updating?
Speaking of fun, I'm going to teleport to the next destination, hero style.
Well, that was a bloody cool transition, wasn't it? Now, listen. We had this message from the event organizer this morning that really blew us away. The event organizer messaged and said, "Hey guys, we just want to let you know that you were the only session on day one that got a standing ovation." How wild is this? And as I reflect on this, how do we create that outcome? How do we create that standing ovation? It's because I've learned how to fall in love with the fundamentals. I didn't do anything more special than any of the other speakers that were on stage. I just did the fundamentals well. I used my voice to connect with the audience. I played with my instrument masterfully. I used my body language to have more presence in the room. And I used storytelling to connect with people's hearts and minds. Don't be so swayed by the fancy tips and tricks and different scripts that you must learn. If you just become world-class with the fundamentals, you too will be able to create astonishing results in your life.
So cool. I have to mention this one. I got to meet two incredible creators yesterday. I got to meet Simon Squib and I also got to meet Mr. Beast. I was literally 10 meters away from him. And then I got a selfie with him. Even though the selfie was with the back of his head while he's in an elevator and I was in the lobby, still counts. I'm going to just check that dream as being done. I share this with you because to me, I've always had a useful belief in my life. And the useful belief is reality is negotiable. I fundamentally have that as a useful belief. And many people challenge me on this and go, "No, it's not negotiable. It's it's rigid." But to me, I choose to believe that reality is negotiable. And that that belief has served me so well in this life to the point where even if I get to the end of my life and I meet the higher beings and they say to me, "Vin, you're wrong in preaching reality is negotiable." You know what? I would still be glad that I lived my life believing it's negotiable because everything that I've been able to achieve is because of that one useful belief. So you can borrow it too if you want.
Far out. This space goes on forever. I can't believe we've been able to find a quiet corner. There's 30,000 creators here from all over the world. Now, here's the crazy thing. In 2025, we were able to do something we've always wanted to do as a team: to create a community. So, we created the Stage Community for our students. And there's a word we use for our students, and we call them luminaries. So, luminaries, if you're watching this video, hashtag the word luminaries down below. But why do we call our students luminaries? We teach our students communication skills in the hope they'll be able to use that to negotiate the reality they desire. But outside of this, there's a stronger purpose. We call our students to use their instrument to spread more light, love, kindness, compassion, and a little bit of fun. And even if you aren't a student of what we do, just by you watching this video, I already see you as a fellow luminary. So this year, as you move forward, use your voice to spread more love, kindness, and compassion. The world needs it more than ever.
"Good afternoon. Oh, thank you. Oh, that's so lovely. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited about the next four hours we're going to spend together. This doesn't just apply to the world of magic. This applies to your world. Pharmacist, accountants, carpentry, electrician, being a doctor, being a financial advisor. Whatever that is that you do, you have to recognize, well, technically, where are you? Make a no-BS assessment. Are you a 7 out of 10? You an 8 out of 10? How good are you with your technical skill? But then make a no-BS judgment on where is your communication level? Because if your level of communication is below your technical ability, you will forever be invisible. You will be invisible. How many of you are afraid? Have you used bigger voice, bigger body language? Are any of you afraid of being too much? Any of you think, 'Oh, I'm going to be too much.' Okay. Okay. Can I just give you a different fear? The fear that I want to give you that I hope you carry for the rest of your life is this: You go through this entire life being too small. Do not fear being too much. In Australia, there's something called tall poppy syndrome. Do you all know what tall poppy syndrome is? Yeah. It's like when you dream big dreams, everyone's like, 'Ah, mate, get who are you to dream such big dreams?' So, the reason I moved to America for five years is because I had to get over the tall poppy syndrome. When I was in America, I was taught to dream. Dream again. Don't be afraid. I was so afraid of being too much my entire life. I lived 28, 29 years being too small. Don't go through this entire life being too small. If you're sitting here right now and you have a label for you, oh, stop it. You stop believing in this nonsense. Far too long in my life, I've allowed useless beliefs to control my life. You are far more capable than you think. You have wonderful gifts that exist inside you. Wonderful stories to share, wonderful music to play, wonderful ideas to share. Learn how to play this instrument. Play beautifully. No label defines you. Why? You know what's happened in society? In society, what we've all done is we've given our pens away. We've given our pens away. We let other people write our stories. We let them do this. You've given your pens away to other people, to your friends, to your communities, to the greater world. But I need you to remember this: You are the author of your own story. Take your pen back. Write the chapter you want to write. It's your damn pen. You get to dictate what this story means. You get to write whatever next chapter you want."
"I want you to share one piece of advice or one piece for my listeners or for Stories That Matter that can make a difference in their lives."
"I think one of the rarest things I now see in adults that is one of the most powerful competitive advantages."
"Uh-huh."
"Is willing to be playful."
"Willing to be playful."
"The willingness to be playful."
"Uhhuh. I think a lot of the times we grow up as adults, we're taught not to play. Play is silly. Play is a waste of time. Whereas to me, play is life. And I find that so much unhappiness in the world exists because people have forgotten how to play. Whether it's playing with your voice, playing with your ability to storytell, playing with your body language. It's all gone. So I encourage you, I encourage all your listeners who's listening..."
"Okay?"
"...engage in play, laugh, live, and learn to learn to be more playful in life."
My goodness, I can't believe you've made it to the end of the video. And I just want to say thank you for joining me on this journey as we've been able to do the very thing we've wanted to do for a long time. And that is what that is to be able to say, "Do you remember that time we did New Year's in Dubai as a team? Do you remember that time we were able to speak at the 1 Billion Follower Summit? Do you remember that time we got to take a selfie with the back of Mr. Beast's head?" We've been able to live the story that we want to tell. I hope you remember that you are the author of your own story. Take your pen back and write the chapter you want to write this year.