Transcription
July 9th, 1899. Vol. 2.
Jesus shares his pains with the soul in order to continue his passion. This morning, Jesus wanted to renew in me the pains of the crucifixion. First, he transported me outside of myself, up on a mountain, and then he asked me whether I wanted to be crucified. And I, "Yes, my Jesus, I yearned for nothing but the cross." As I was saying this, a huge cross appeared. He laid me upon it and nailed me to it with his own hands. What atrocious pains I suffered in feeling my hands and feet being pierced through by those nails! And what is more, they did not have a point, and it was hard and very painful to make them penetrate. But with Jesus, everything was tolerable.
After he finished crucifying me, he told me, "My daughter, I make use of you in order to continue my passion. Since my glorified body can no longer be capable of suffering, by coming into you, I make use of your body just as I used mine during my mortal life, to be able to continue and to suffer my passion, and therefore to be able to offer you as a living victim of reparation and propitiation before divine justice."
After this, heaven seemed to open, and a multitude of saints came down, all armed with swords. A voice like thunder came out from within that multitude, saying, "We come to defend the Justice of God and to take revenge on men who have so much abused his mercy." Who can say what was happening on earth at this descent of the saints? I am only able to say that some were fighting in one place, some in another, some more fleeing, and some were hiding. It seemed that all were in dismay.
July 9th, 1903.
To live not only for God, but in God. I continue in the same state, and maybe even worse. And if sometimes he makes himself seen, it is like shadow and flashes, and almost always in silence. This morning, as I was at the summit of my affliction (ten days it must be because of the continuous sleep), he just barely made himself seen and told me, "Courage, my daughter. The soul who is truly mine must live not only for God, but in God. You try to live in me, for in me you will find the receptacle of all virtues, and strolling in their midst, you will nourish yourself with their fragrance so much so as to become replete, and you yourself will do nothing but give off light and celestial fragrance. Because to live in me is true virtue, and it has the virtue of giving to the soul the same shape as the divine person in whom she dwells, and of transforming her into the very divine virtues with which she nourishes herself."
After this, he disappeared like a flash, and running after that flash, my soul found herself outside of myself. But he had already escaped, and it was not given to me to find him, while I received the bitterness of seeing a terrible hail which had caused a great devastation, and bolts of lightning as if they had produced fires, and other things which had been prepared. Having seen this, I found myself inside myself, more afflicted than before.
July 9th, 1915. Vol. 11.
"One who really does the Divine Will is in the same condition as the humanity of Jesus before God and creatures." Finding myself in my usual state, I was feeling very bad. And my always adorable Jesus, moved to compassion for my poor state, came for a little while. Kissing me, he told me, "Poor daughter, do not fear. I do not believe you, nor can I leave you. It is my magnet that works powerfully on me, attracting me toward you with such violence that I cannot resist. It takes too much to be free of one who does my will. I should get rid of myself, which is not possible." Then he added, "Daughter, one who really does my will is put in the same condition as my humanity. I was man and God. Asked God, I contained within me all the happiness, the attitudes, beauty, and all the goods that I possess. On one hand, my humanity participated in the joy of my divinity, and therefore my soul was blissful, happy, and its beatific vision never escaped it. On the other hand, my humanity had loaded upon itself the satisfaction on the part of creatures before divine justice. It was tormented by the clear sight of all the sins and having to take them upon itself in order to repair for them. It felt the horror of each sin with its own special torment. Therefore, I felt joy and pain at the same time; love on the part of my divinity, cold on the part of creatures; sanctity on one side, and sin on the other. Nothing the creature did could escape me, no matter how tiny. Now my humanity is no longer capable of suffering. Therefore, I live, and one who does my will, she serves as my humanity. So on the one hand, the soul feels love, peace, firmness, and good fortitude, and so on. On the other hand, coldness, bother, tiredness, and so forth. If the soul remains calmly in my will and takes these things not as her own things, but as the things that I suffer, she will not lose heart. She will sympathize with me and will have the honor of sharing my pains, since she is nothing other than a veil which covers me. She will feel nothing but the annoyance of pricks and coldness while they will come thickly, and to me, into my heart."
July 9th, 1918. Vol. 12.
"One who lives in the Divine Will lives within the font of the love of Jesus." Continuing in my usual state, my sweet Jesus came and told me, "My daughter, I am all love. I'm like a font which contains nothing but love, and everything that might enter into this font loses its qualities and becomes love. Therefore, justice, wisdom, goodness, fortitude, and so forth are nothing other than love. And me, but who directs this font, this love, and everything else? My will. My will dominates, rules, orders. So all my qualities carry the mark of my volition. The life of my will, and wherever they find my will, they make feast. Where they don't, they are saddened, they would draw. Now, my daughter, one who lets himself be dominated by my will and who lives in my volition lives within my very font, being almost inseparable from me, and everything in him turns into love. Therefore, his thoughts are love, love is his word, heartbeat, action, step, everything. It is always daylight for him. But if he moves from my will, it is always night for him, and all that is human miseries, passions, weaknesses come out into the field and do their own crafting on him. But what a crafting, her work to be wept over."
July ninth, 1925. Vol. 17.
Laments of the soul to Jesus. How the cross is the knocking of God and the knocking of the soul.
I felt I could no longer be without my sweet Jesus. For many days, I had longed for his return, but in vain. I would say to him from my heart, "My love, come back to your little daughter. Don't you see I cannot take it anymore? Hatta, what a hard martyrdom you exposed my poor existence by depriving me of you. I'm tired and exhausted. I would abandon myself in his most holy will." Now, while I was in this state, I was reading, and I felt someone stretching out his arms around my neck. My mind became drowsy, and I found myself clasped in the arms of Jesus, all concealed and hidden in him. I wanted to tell him of my sorrow, but he gave me no time to do it.
Then Jesus spoke, telling me, "My daughter, don't you want to convince yourself that when my justice, out of a just reason, wants to chastise the people, I am forced to hide from you? You are nothing other than a little particle which binds all the other particles of the creatures and keeps them in a familiar relationship with you, and as though in feast. So wanting to strike the other particles which are bound to you, my justice finds itself in a contrast and feels refrained from striking. This is why during these last days, in which I sent chastisements to the world, I remained hidden from you, though still remaining within you."
Now, as he was saying this, I found myself outside of myself, and he showed me that in various points of the earth there had been some where earthquakes, some were grave fires with death of people's, and somewhere else other troubles, and it seemed that more grave evils would follow. I was frightened, and I prayed. And then my adorable Jesus came back, and before him, I saw myself very ugly, has the withered. And I said to him, "My life and my all, look at me, how ugly I have become, how am I about to wither. Ah, how I change without you! Your privation makes me lose the freshness and the beauty which is in your grace, and I feel like I am under a burning sun which, draining me of all vital humors, makes me wither and be consumed."
Then Jesus made me suffer a little bit together with him, and that suffering turned into celestial dew upon my soul, which restored the vital humors in me. And taking my poor soul in his hands, he added, "Poor daughter of mine, do not fear. If my privation made you wither, my return will give you back freshness, beauty, color, and all of my features. Moreover, your suffering with me will not only be like dew which rejuvenates you, but will serve as a continuous knocker with which I may knock at the doors of your soul, and you at mine, in such a way that the doors may remain always opened, when you may freely enter into me, and I into you. And my breath will serve you as breeze in order to preserve all the gifts and the beauty which I meant for you when I created you." While he was saying this, he blew very intensely upon me, and squeezing me to himself, he disappeared.
July 9th, 1930. Vol. 28.
Value of the human will when it enters into the Divine. Fears because of authoritative judgments. Answers of Jesus and his teachings.
My little intelligence feels the extreme need of the Divine Will, because it alone is my support, my strength, my life. Hello Divine Will! Ho, please do not abandon me. And if I, ungrateful, have not been able to follow your flight, your light, you'll please forgive me, and fortifying my weakness, absorbed into yourself the little atom of my existence, and may it live dissolved in you, to live only and always of your supreme will.
But while my mind was wandering in the Divine Fiat, my sweet Jesus, making his little visit to my soul, told me, "My daughter, courage. I am with you. What do you fear? If you knew the beauty, the value that the human will acquires when it enters and has continuous dwelling in the Divine Fiat, you would not lose one instant of living in it. You must know that as the human will enters into the Divine, our light invests it and embellishes it of a rare beauty. The soul remains so identified that she does not feel a stranger with her Creator. On the contrary, she feels that she is all of the Supreme Being, and the Divine Being is all hers. And with the freedom of a daughter, without fear and within rapturing trust, she rises into the unity of the will of her Creator. And in this unity, the atom of the human will emits her 'I love you.' And while she forms her act of love, all the Divine Love runs, surrounds, embraces, transmutes itself into the 'I love you' of the creature, and makes it so great for us, great as is our love. And we feel in the little 'I love you' of the creature the fibers, the life of our love, and we give it the value of our love, and feel in the little 'I love you' the happiness of our love. This little 'I love you' no longer goes out from within the unity of our volition, and holy remains. It spreads so much within the orbit of the Fiat that it does nothing but follow the Divine Will everywhere. And so with all the other acts that she intends to do in our will. You must think that a creative will enters into the act of the creature, and therefore it must do, where the act has those that a Divine Will knows how to do and that are befitting to it."
Then I was feeling oppressed more than ever. My poor mind was made gloomy by thoughts that crushed me and took away from me the beautiful serenity of the day of peace always enjoyed by me, and such that Jesus himself so much cared and was jealous of my peace and would not permit anything that would disturb me. And now I feel that they want to make roaring of storm poured down upon my head. And this because, as some authoritative people had read some volumes of my writings, they found difficulties on the intimacies that Jesus had used with me, his pouring his bitterness—his and to my unworthy soul—and many other things that it was not of the Divine dignity to act in this way with the creature. And since I was in my simplicity, as my past confessors and also other holy and authoritative people had assured me, because I’d ask them whether it was Jesus or not who was acting in this way with me, and they assured me that it was Jesus, saying to me that it is his usual way to play on the face of the earth with his creatures, and I believed in their assurances and giving myself to the mercy of Jesus, I would let him do with me whatever he wanted, and even if he would subject me to atrocious pains and even to death itself, I felt happy, as has happened many times, as long as Jesus's content. I would say, "That is enough for me." More so since, in what my sweet Jesus has done with me, whether he would pour or he would bring me together with him, or whatever other thing he might do to me, I do not remember ever having felt in me a shadow of sins or tendencies that are not good and holy. On the contrary, his touch was pure and holy, and I would feel more pure with his pouring from his mouth into mine, that was like a little fountain coming out from the mouth of Jesus and pouring into mine. From the pains that I would feel, I could touch with my own hands how much Jesus suffers, how ugly sin is, and I would have laid down my life a thousand times rather than offend him. And I would feel my whole little being convert into reparations to be able to defend my sweet Jesus. So thinking that an act so holy of Jesus had been interpreted so badly, and I felt so bad that I have no words to express myself.
Then blessed of Jesus, having compassion for me, made himself seen, and all afflicted and tenderness told me, "My daughter, do not fear. My way of acting is always pure and holy, whatever it might be, even if it should appear strange to creatures. In fact, all the sanctity is not in the external act of the way of acting, but is from the font of the internal sanctity from which it comes, and from the fruits that my way of acting produces. If the fruits are holy, why want to judge my way? So I liked it, and therefore I did it. It is from the fruits that the tree is known whether it is good, mediocre, or bad. And I am greatly disappointed that instead of looking at the fruits, they judged the cortex of the tree, and maybe not even the substance in the life of the same tree. Poor ones, what can they comprehend by looking at the cortex of my ways without descending to the fruits that I have produced? They will remain more in the dark, and they can incur the disgrace of the Pharisees, who looking at me at the cortex of my works and words, not at the substance of the fruits of my life, remained blind and ended up giving me death. And besides, is this the way to make a judgment without imploring the Author and Giver of lights and consulting her whom they judge with such ease? And then, what wrongs did I do, and what is it that you received? As I would pour from my mouth into yours the little fountain that came out from the fount of bitterness's and that creatures give me, I did not pour sin unto you, but a part of its effects. And this is why you felt the intensity of the bitterness's, the nausea, how ugly sin is, and you, in feeling these effects of horrid sin, comprehended how much your Jesus suffers, transmuting your being and even each drop of your blood into reparations for your Jesus. How you would not have loved so much to suffer in order to repair me, had you not felt within you the effects of sin and how much your Jesus suffers and being offended. But they might question why I was doing it from the mouth. I could do it differently. That is the way I like it. I wanted to act with you like a father acts with his little daughter, because she is little, she lets him do to her whatever he wants, and her father pours himself into his little one with ways so affectionate and loving, as if he found his own life in her, because he knows that she would refuse nothing to her father, even if the sacrifice of her life were required. Ah, my daughter, my crime is always love, and it is also the crime of those who love me. Finding no other material on which to judge, they judge my too much love, and that of my children who perhaps have laid down their lives even for them. And besides, now they can judge as they want, but what will their confusion not be when they come before me and will know with clarity that I myself have been he who has acted in that way, condemned by them, and that their judgment has prevented for me a great glory of mine and a great good in the midst of creatures, that is, that of knowing with more clarity what it means to do my Divine Will and to let it reign. There is no graver crime than that of preventing good. Therefore, my daughter, I recommend to you, do not want to become disturbed or move anything of all that passes between me and you. Make me assured that my operating has its fulfillment in you. Do not want to give me any sorrow on your part. I wanted to diffuse the good outside of you, but the human will comes across my designs. And therefore, pray that the human will be conquered, and the kingdom of my Divine Will in the midst of creatures may not be suffocated. However, I tell you that my knowledge is on my Divine Will will not remain buried. They are part of my Divine life, and as life, are not subject to dying. At the most, they remain hidden, but dying never. In fact, it is a decree of the Divinity that the kingdom of my Divine Will be known, and when we decree, there is no human power that can resist us. At the most, it will be a matter of time, and in spite of the opposition's and adverse judgments of these authoritative people, I will make my way. And if these with their judgments want to bear you good so great and so many divine lives of my truths, I will put them aside and will make my way, disposing other people more humble and simple, and who more easily believe in my admirable and multiple ways that I use with souls. And with their simplicity, instead of finding quibbles and difficulties, they will recognize as gift of heaven what I have manifested on my Divine Will, and these will serve me in an admirable way to propagate in the world the knowledge is about my Fiat. Did the same not happen in my coming upon earth? The learned, the erudite, the people of dignity did not want to listen to me. On the contrary, they were ashamed to approach me. Their doctrine made them believe that I could not be the promised Messiah, in a way that they reached the point of hating me. And I put them aside and chose humble, simple, and poor fishermen who believed me, and whom I used in an admirable way to form my Church and to propagate the great good of redemption. So I will do with my Divine Will. And therefore, my daughter, do not lose heart and hearing of so many difficulties that they raised, and let us not move anything of what passes between me and you. Continue to do what I have taught you to do in my Divine Will. Nothing did I neglect to do of what I had to do for redemption, even though not ever one believed me. Paul, the evil remained for them, as for me, it befitted me to continue my course that I had established for love of creatures. So you will do. Continue your abandonment in my Divine Will and your acts in it, and I will not leave you. I will be always together with you."
July 9th, 1932. Volume 30.
Hunger that the Divine Will produces. Life imprisonment of love. How God forms the persecution of love to the creature.
I feel myself under the empire of the Divine Will, and if for a few minutes I don't feel its empire, I feel I am without life, without food, without heat. I feel that the divine life ends because there is no one who forms it, nor any one who nourishes it. And in my sorrow, I keep repeating, "Jesus, help me. Without your volition, I die of hunger. How, please make me feel its sweet empire, so that nourishing me, your life may live in me, and I may live of you."
And my beloved Jesus, having pity on me, all love and tenderness, clasped me in his arms and told me, "My little daughter of my volition, courage. Do not lose heart. The divine life formed and nourished by my volition cannot die. And if you feel the hunger, it is rather that you don't always hear my speaking on other wonders and novelties that my will possesses. This interrupted speaking of mine makes you feel hungry for the ever new nourishment which it possesses. But this prepares you to receive the new nourishment of its knowledge's to make you grow and be nourished only of Divine volition, nor would you submit to taking any other food. It would be discussed to you, and you would contend yourself with dying of hunger, because one who has savored it many times cannot adapt to taking other nourishments. However, this hunger is also a fortune, because it can serve you as an outlet into the celestial fatherland. And you must know that the only nourishment of these divine regions is the new act, never interrupted, of my Divine Will. This nourishment that possesses all tastes, all delights, is the daily food and of all instance of the celestial Jerusalem. Besides, to feel the hunger ceases life, not death. Therefore, wait with unconquered patience for the nourishment of my will that will repay you for the hunger suffered with such abundance that you will not be able to take it all."
And I, interrupting the speaking of Jesus, said, "My love, my heart bleeds. And telling you this to me, rather it seems that you no longer have that continued love for me that would make you always speak and giving me many new enchanting surprises of your being and of your volition. I would feel and touch with my own hand your love palpitating for me, so much so that I was forced to say, 'How much Jesus loves me!' Now, because of this interrupted speaking of yours, it seems to me that I am not always loved by you. And to pass from a continuous love to an interrupted love is the harshest of torments. And I keep repeating, 'I am not loved, I am not loved by He whom I so much love.'"
And Jesus, interrupting my speaking, added, "My daughter, what are you saying? You must know that when the creature loves us, if we did not love her, we would act against the nature of our divine being. To be loved and not to love is not of the Supreme Being. And if this could be, and we were capable of pain, the love of the creature would put us into a life imprisonment of torments and would become our persecutor, nor would it give us peace until fused together the love of one and of the other would kiss and rest together. Oh, you do not know what it means to love and not to be loved by him or her whom one loves. All the pain, the restlessness is carried by the one who does not love, because the one who loves is at his place and fulfills the most sacrosanct of duties. In such state is our divine being, because we love too much, and man does not love us. Our love persecutes him whom we love. It puts him into life imprisonment. It torments him. It gives him no peace. Restlessness is the sure sign that the creature has been taken aim at by our love, that wants to win the love of the creature by dint of persecution. And therefore, calm yourself. If you love us, our love loves you before you do. And the inseparability of our love and yours is so great that yours forms the little heat, and ours, feeding yours, forms the immensity of the light, in such a way that both one and the other lose the separate of virtue and love always together, as if they were one single nature to form one the life of the other. Therefore, if my speaking is not continuous, this does not mean broken love. No, it would be interrupted if you did not feel like wanting to do my will, even at the cost of your life. This would be no longer having it in your power. And if my goodness has reached such extent as to give it in your power, this assures you that my love for you is continuous. In fact, you must know that one who does and lives in my Divine volition is nothing other than the operating life of God himself in the creature. Our love for one who lets herself be dominated by our Divine volition is so great as to make itself her sweet prisoner. It restricts itself, it makes itself small, and takes a most great delight to love and to operate in her soul. But while it restricts itself, it remains immense and operates with infinite ways, just as we love and operate within ourselves, because that is our nature: immensity, infinity, and everything we do remains immense and infinite as we are. Yendo our contentment for while we restrict ourselves in her littleness, we give course to our love and works, and she remains filled, overflows outside, fills heaven and earth. And we have the great glory and honor of loving and operating as God in her littleness. And if you knew what even just one act of love means, one work alone done by us in you, you would die of joy, and the whole of eternity would not be enough for you to thank us for a good so great. Therefore, let me do, let me do what I want with you. You can be certain that both you and I will remain content."
End of July 9th. Fiat.