Transcription
Thank you guys so much for being with us. And as Randall knows, as editors, our favorite stories to tell are the ones of the rags to riches, the people that overcome the most to get to where they are. So, this is so much fun for us to have you guys here.
Um, just a couple of factors I wanted to throw out just because I think it's, you know, so impressive. But more than two dozen of the 250 self-made that we're honoring had single moms, and more than half a dozen were adopted. So, you guys are in good company.
Um, the stories that you guys are going to tell are pretty compelling. So, I don't want to spend too much time with me rambling on, but I'm going to start with Jamie. So, Jamie, you were adopted the day you were born. You'll tell everybody more about your story, but you went from waitressing at Denny's to being a TV broadcaster, to then a multi-million dollar beauty mogul. You sold your company for 1.2 billion to L'Oreal just about a decade ago, and now you're influencing and trying to inspire a new generation through your books and your podcasts. So, pretty impressive.
Oh, and I forgot to say she was very inspired by Oprah, which I'm sure she's going to talk about as well. But there's a whole list of women on our self-made list who all always give Oprah credit. So, pretty amazing.
And then Phaedra, you actually, um, you get even extra points for just how rough a situation you came from. Your father was abusive. Your mom was strong enough to get you guys out of that situation, um, but then she had to work incredibly hard to try and make ends meet. She worked as a waitress, put herself through school, helped you rise up. You know, you chose to give back initially as a labor organizer. And then you co-founded, um, Promise. Basically, she's a, uh, gentle, kinder bill collector. You know, you, you help other people with their struggles to, you know, make it so that they don't have to go through what you went through.
Um, with that, just wanted to, you know, have you guys jump in. Phaedra, you can start us off. Life was never easy at home. You've talked a lot about the shame. Tell us what that was like and how it molded you.
>> Yeah. Uh, I really appreciated the poverty is war, because I think that's true. And I think I, there's a very physical feeling to poverty to me. Like, you feel poor. You feel less than. And I was always really clear that I was different. And I think there's something very difficult when you come from, uh, a challenging background. When you grow up in abuse, when your norms are very different. And I, I so appreciated the, I think I just want to say to, just give all due to Oprah Winfrey, because I think Oprah like raised us all, even when she didn't know us all. So, it feels like such a full circle moment to be. I remember watching your videos. You did a video thing about when you ended your series. And I remember you did this one about a 30-year-old virgin. And you came out and your staff was like, "Oh, we didn't do that." And then you came and you were so gracious. And I remember going to work that day and being like, "Okay, if they say something, I'm going to handle it just like Oprah did." And so, I just, I hope you feel that. I hope you feel the incredible space and grace that you created for all of us, even those of us that you didn't know, that you have inspired us to lead in ways that you might not know. So, I just really want to acknowledge you for that.
>> [applause]
>> All right. Jamie, tell us a little bit about your story, and then we'll dive in.
>> I mean, first of all, I echo all that about Oprah. That's the first thing. Um, yeah, I, I was adopted the day I was born and, uh, raised with really, really hard-working parents. Would not change a thing. Um, and, uh, but worked tons of jobs. Really was, you know, the, the value of hard work was instilled in me pretty young. So, worked a lot of jobs and, uh, very similar to something Oprah shared earlier today. I always, when I was little, you know, I didn't see success around me, but I would sit in my living room every day and I would watch Oprah on television and I remember she'd share her story and I used to just know, like, I used to knew I used to know, like, okay, this, like, I can do great things. Like, I can be of service in the world. Like, what I see around me, where I come from doesn't have to determine where I'm going. And I always just had this knowing. And when we talked about, uh, seeds being planted, I think while I didn't have examples around me, I had her as an example. And I would watch and I'd be like, oh, okay. This is, this is, this is possible. I believe that was possible, um, for me as well. And then worked a whole bunch of jobs and, uh, did a whole lot of things. And what I'll say is, uh, you know, when I, when we eventually, after years and years and years of no's and rejections, after launching our business, not sure if our business is even going to make it, which we launched in our living room, and it was, I mean, just, I mean, the grit and the, the making the decision that, uh, rejection after rejection. I love what you shared. You, you brush it off and you're like, next. It was like that, meeting after meeting after meeting for years. But when we eventually launched on QVC and had one shot, I remember thinking about the person watching on the other end and thinking about the types of women I was raised around also, and my circumstances growing up, and knowing that because I understood them, I was able to talk to that person at home as well. And I attribute, even though it wouldn't be considered a glamorous or ideal or well-connected or any of that upbringing, I, I, I believe it happened for me. And I believe I could not have created a billion-dollar business had I not had the experience of understanding lots of different types of real people and what they go through.
>> I'm actually going to ask you guys a question that I, I didn't share with you before, but just because it feels so much about like storytelling and, and you're both kind of hinting at that. Um, Phaedra.
>> Yes.
>> Pickles. What does that mean to you?
>> Pickles?
>> Mhm.
>> As in kosher dill?
>> The story I read, I hope this wasn't made up, okay, about how you went for food stamp, you used your food stamps.
>> Yes. Yeah. I think I think the, the thing that for me is really, really critical is that if you have that feeling of poverty and shame, you can't help but commit your life to making sure other people don't feel it. And especially children. And so, as I think about what AI and our company has the capacity to do, we're at the beginning and in essence of a new civilization. And the rules are being written by a lot of people who are trying to instill their values in them. And they think like, oh, we got to be anti-woke. We got to be this. We got to do this. But at the core of a new civilization should be the best of us. It should be that we create a society that inherently puts those who are most vulnerable at the center of it. And so, the thing that we think about is for me, it was a kid growing up and seeing the shame when you used food stamps. It was about seeing someone and just realizing that people would look at you as though you were less than that. As though you were something inferior. And I think the thing that I, I think we all feel remarkably excited about is now I get to build software that transforms the way that government serves the people who need it the most. And so, I guess the thing I, for me, I think I just want to figure out is, is how do I, if my purpose is to take, make sure people do not feel shame, then how can I rush as quickly as possible? Like, at first I was like, I got to get to a billion-dollar valuation. Then I was like, okay, got it. Okay, now, now we got that. Okay, now it's like, fundamentally, we are in a race to be able to build institutions that center the people who need them to work, whether it's access to food in, we work on food stamps in Mississippi, or making sure that you have electricity in Florida. But fundamentally, at this point, you cannot be doing anything but using technology to center those who need it the most. And, and that's what I think we have an obligation to do.
>> So, how do you think that your, uh, personal journey informs how you're trying to influence the next generation, Jamie?
>> I think I think my journey, if you really peel back all the layers, um, is first and foremost believing, figuring out how to believe I'm worthy of my hopes and dreams. I think we have a self-worth crisis. I think it's getting worse by social media. And as Oprah says so powerfully in the video, you know, we don't become what we want, we become what we believe. What we believe is possible, what we believe we're worthy of. And, you know, now having, um, looking back on, on the whole journey of how, how did I go through what felt like millions of knows over years and rejection and people telling me to change what you're doing if you want a chance for this to work. You don't have the right look, you don't have the right models, you don't have the right brand, you don't have the right aesthetic, you know, on and on and on all the feedback. And now looking at, at where I'm at now, to answer your question, and, you know, now I have the, a podcast where I have the blessing of having, um, my favorite woman in the world on, Oprah, as the first guest, but also a number of other incredible women, incredible people who have really changed and inspired the world. I would say one thing that they have in common, um, that I also believe is that, uh, when you believe in something greater than yourself, um, you innately are able to believe you're worthy of your hopes and dreams. And I think that we have a situation right now where that's really being tested, where we're obviously in a country more divided than ever, where we're compounding social and AI and algorithms and everything else, and families that won't even talk on the, at the dinner table right now because of politics. Everything's so divided. And I think that, you know, having a north star, uh, you know, we're here at the 250th anniversary of our country talking about that. And I think getting back to what do we actually believe in, what are our values, what's our north star, whether for someone it's religion or a faith in my case, or it's just believing that you're here for something greater than yourself. I think getting back to that is something I'm super focused on because I think we have a, a crisis of people seeing things out there, but deep down inside not believing they're worthy of the things or that the things are possible for them. And so, I think for me, that's the biggest game. And I love how the day started out today talking about how, you know, when you talked about you can't just give the thing or offer the thing, it's also about the internal journey. Not only of support for overcoming things that have happened to you, but also the internal journey of believing things are possible for you. And so, for me, that's what I'm trying most to do in my work right now for everybody, not just, not just the next generation, but actually the generation above me, the, all of us. I think we have a, a crisis of that right now.
>> So, do you think that there was a moment, I, I want both of you guys to answer this, where you were able to flip your scripts? You know, and was there like something that, you know, you were talking about how Promise is very much kind of responding to your own experience, but, you know, did you guys have moments or was this something that you felt was always in you? Like, you always believed in yourself deep down?
>> I think there's like this feeling when you feel God in your body. Like, I don't know how to describe it better, but you just get warm and it's like a presence and you just feel like, in the midst, growing up in the midst of like, the most chaotic environment, it was like, I always just knew this wasn't for me. And I think sometimes when you're a kid, it feels like you're snotty or super smart or weird, and you feel different than everyone else. But you feel a calling and a spirit that is guiding you that is just telling you. So, I think I always knew this wasn't for me. Like, I just was like, these aren't my people. And, and I think what I was clear on. And so, I don't know if it was so much a moment as it was that I was always clear that this was not what I was meant for. And that, I think you see something happening and there's some spirit in you that says that's not right, even if you intellectually, no one is telling you that it is not right. And I think when you are guided and saying, I will not be part of this. And when you can see that you want better for other people. So, I guess I would say the thing is, every experience that made me feel less than, I knew was not what I was going to experience in the future. And I knew that I was going to build a world where other people didn't feel like that. And I think I'm a mom and I brought my daughter here today. And I brought her justice. There's, there's two of them. And I just want them to have the same experience where they know that chaos and trauma are not what they are meant for. It is that they are meant for, like, a world so bright. A world so destined. And so, I guess I just, I just always knew, like, I was at the wrong stop. But I had no doubt that the train was taking me away from that stop.
>> That's awesome. Great.
>> Yeah.
>> [applause]
>> I love, I love this so much. And to add, to add to that as well, it's, it's, it's that feeling, that knowing, what that feeling is. Like, when you're in alignment with your assignment or you're not, but like feeling that feeling and trusting it. And, you know, Oprah shared it earlier when she was a little girl. I remember sitting there in my living room watching her, going, "I'm going to meet her one day." Like, that made no sense. Like, I didn't know nobody who knew nobody. You know what I mean? And I just, like, you just know. Right? Right? But it's that feeling. And the one moment for me that stands out is, you know, you have those feelings, but then this like lifelong journey of continuing to trust yourself when you feel it. Um, I think that's been a big lesson. And the one moment that, that I think of is, you know, after, you know, we started at Cosmetics, my husband's right there, by the way. We started at Cosmetics in our living room. And I mean, when I say we were teetering on bankruptcy for years, I mean, uh, Instagram can make things look like they're doing well. And you're just like, uh, but this went on and on and on. And after years and years of of no's and rejections, we got one big yes from QVC. And I learned, I would have one moment
>> Yep.
>> to go live to 100 million homes and either hit their sales goal, uh, which at that point was $10,000 a minute.
>> Mhm.
>> So, I had to, had to, had to sell $100,000 of product, uh, which was over 6,000 units of our product. Now, at this moment, Luis, we were doing like one to three orders a day on our website.
>> Wow.
>> That he built from a HTML for Dummies big yellow book, cuz we couldn't, we couldn't afford to hire, uh, a web designer. And we had to take out an SBA loan for the amount to cover the product, to manufacture it, ship it in, all that. And with beauty, QVC's consignment. So, we were literally one shot. And if we didn't sell it, we'd have to take it all back.
>> Mhm.
>> And we wouldn't be paid, and we'd go bankrupt. Now, why I'm bringing this up is because, you know, we used the SBA loan for the inventory, but we also hired third-party, uh, advisors that are incredible. They help a lot of people. Everybody told me the same thing. If you are going to have a chance, which is so rare to hit their sales goal. If you're going to have a chance of hitting these numbers, uh, here's what you need to do. You need to put this type of model in the chair to demonstrate your product, which was same skin tone. They all look like they're 12. They have no issue, like. And I'm like, "Okay, but what if like, I created this brand for people like me that have like bright red bumpy skin and skin challenges and and and and and I can show how good this product is. Like, what if I put models in their 70s and have hyperpigmentation, every skin tone, every age?" And they were mortified. Like, but they wanted me to win. They wanted me to win, but that was the best advice that they knew how to give me. And this was the moment for me that was big because we have these moments where we can feel God's talking to us or what that means for us, we're aligned with the universe, whatever it means for you. And I remember just sitting in the parking lot of QVC. Um, like, I drove out there in a rental car and I sat there every day for a week before our one big shot. And I just sat there in the rental car watching the front door, like praying, crying. I even tried singing "I Surrender All" cuz you sing it on the racetrack. And I was like, "God, take this from me. This feels too heavy. Like, I don't know what I'm going to do." And I, I actually thought for a minute, "Maybe I should try it their way. I should put, you know, their type of model in and then maybe I won't go bankrupt and it'll work and then maybe I'll do it my way." But I remember in the car, this feeling that you cannot fake authenticity. And right? And that like authenticity alone does not mean you're going to succeed, but inauthenticity, you will fail every time. All day. And I remember walking in that studio, I had double Spanx. And I did not care how I looked, but y'all, I was sweating so much. I didn't want to sweat through my dress cuz I was so nervous. And, but I, I, I trusted myself and we went live and I remember walking over to the models, like every age, every shape, every size, every skin tone, like every, every skin challenge, like me. I took my makeup off on live TV. And that moment, I was so scared because trusting my gut, it, it hadn't worked yet in the journey of building the business. But then we, I remember the moment, 10 minutes in, the giant sold out sign came up. Yeah. And I was like crying on national television. And we ended up building the biggest beauty brand in QVC's history. But it's moments like that where you trust yourself, where you, where you feel what Fader's saying she felt. And not only do you feel it, you trust it, even if no one else around you gets it.
>> So, we, I have a ton of time. So, I'm, I want to ask you guys since you're both mothers.
>> Yeah.
>> And your children now in a way have very different childhoods than you had. But do you both still believe in the American dream and the ability for, you know, people to climb out of poverty? And what are you each thinking about or trying to do to help elevate these people?
>> Do we believe in the American dream?
>> Um, I'm ruthlessly optimistic and I believe in the promise of this country. I think that we have raised five children. Um, four, my family has struggled with addiction and mental health issues and so four, I did not birth, but we adopted. And I think the reality of kids who live with trauma is it is really hard. No matter how, what you experienced, no matter how much opportunity is, it is really hard. So, as I think about the American dream, I think my kids will be okay. And I think my job is to introduce opportunity. And I want entitled as children. And I feel like everyone's trying to like make their kids, but I want a bunch of black girls running around who think the world should work for them. And I want them to walk around and just think that the world owes them something. I don't want them to be rude. I don't want them to be disrespectful. I want them to value people who do service. I want them to understand they're not better, but I want them to think the world owes them because what I have learned working with a bunch of software dudes is when they fail, they think the world failed. They don't take it personal. They're just like, oh, that thing's, that thing just didn't work. And I want a little bit of that. So, I guess I do believe in the American dream. I think we should be honest with ourselves that most Americans are excluded from it today. That whether where they live and how they are raised deeply impacts them. And as we go into a world in which jobs are going to disappear in a traditional way, we have an obligation as a society to figure out how do people participate in a way that is meaningful, that allows them dignity. Great. And I think yes, so that is my whole.
>> Get the last word.
>> Yeah, I, I believe in the American dream. I believe that we are in one of the greatest countries in the world. I think that we're in a moment in time, uh, you know, I just had James Talarico, who's running for Senate in Texas, on my podcast. And one of the things he said that I think is so profound is he, we're all so divided right now, right? Everyone's using everything to pit everyone against each other. And he says the greatest divide is not left versus right, it's top versus bottom. And I think that there are some people definitely on the top right now who are really leveraging algorithms, leveraging all kinds of things to have this distraction and this left versus right. And I think that we as individuals need to look at, okay, what are the founding principles of this country that make it so great, whether it's, uh, immigration, whether it is our rights. What do we stand for as people? And I think we need to become bigger than that, bigger than our Aunt Martha who's MAGA and our uncle who, you know, so Pat who's, you know, and bigger than all of that distraction, and go, "Wait a minute, let me silence that. What do I stand for, and how do I live that?" And I think that's how we can preserve the American dream.
>> Believe it went by so quickly, but I want everybody to remember, I love this idea of the people at the top, the people at the bottom, and that that's the divide, and, um, definitely something to think about. So, thank you both.
>> Thank you.
>> Yay!
>> [applause]
>> I love you.