Transcription
Have you ever walked into a store to get one thing, or maybe a couple? But the moment you walk through the door, you're distracted by that cute shirt that's on sale, that home decor item that's so affordable, or even that bag of chips that just sounds really good right now. And before you know it, your cart is filled to bursting with, sure, maybe a few things that you do need, but also a lot that you don't.
I know that I've been there many times. And actually, I'd even say that was my default setting at one point. I wasn't mindful about purchases. I'd pick up whatever caught my attention. I'd sit there literally four hours scrolling and online shopping, and I'd often use buying things as either an emotional band-aid or a gold star. Feeling sad? Why not buy something to feel just a little bit better? Proud of what you accomplished? Well, obviously, you need a reward, right?
And it's not like I was spending massive amounts of money each time, but those little things add up. And it's not just the upfront cost of the item that's on the tag, too. There's also the time and energy costs involved in storing the item, maintaining it, organizing it, cleaning it, and so on. And all that for things that give us this ephemeral dopamine rush that lasts for a moment when we first buy that item, and maybe when we bring it home, but that we very quickly forget. And then months later, we start feeling stressed and overwhelmed by all the stuff, all the junk that we have in our lives.
As a bit of a former shopaholic, I always like to say, shopping is a bad hobby. You're basically throwing money away on useless stuff that you'll use once, maybe twice, and then probably never touch again. And honestly, that's just such a waste of our precious time here on this planet and a drain on our hard-earned resources.
Now, obviously, I say all that, but obviously, we still want to be buying all the things that we need and what's going to add value to our life. But it's so important that we keep in mind that mindless scrolling, impulse purchases, and retail therapy simply aren't the right habits that are going to lead us towards making more intentional purchases. If anything, they're going to do the exact opposite.
So then, if that's not the path forward, what is? Well, whenever we want to make a big change in our lives, it's important that we not just remove the bad habits. That's going to create a void that will fill with other things, either with other unhealthy and unproductive habits, or by going back to the same bad habits that we're trying to remove. So instead, we need to not just remove the unproductive habits, but to actually replace them with productive ones. Habits that will help us to make purchases with more clarity and intention.
And so, retraining my brain and learning healthy shopping habits is really something that I've been trying to learn and practice a ton over the past few years. And I'm still not perfect, let's be honest. As humans, we're never really going to reach that point. But I have made some incredible progress in learning to buy more intentionally, to avoid impulse purchases, and to stop using emotions to justify spending. I mean, looking at my buying habits now versus what they were a few years ago, it is literally a night and day difference.
So today, I want to share with you seven of the spending rules that I've implemented that have really helped me tremendously to retrain my brain and to develop better buying habits. So if you're ready to stop impulse shopping for good, then stick around and be sure to listen to the end when I'll be sharing one of my best tips for what to do when you inevitably mess up, when it feels like you're taking two steps forward and one backwards.
All right, but I want to get right into this now. So if you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button below for more simple and intentional living videos coming at you twice a week. And let's get started with our first shopping rule, and that's to do a spending freeze. Try challenging yourself not to buy anything but essentials for a period of time, usually anywhere from 7 to 30 days.
For a lot of us, shopping is a deeply ingrained habit, if not an addiction. It's something that we go to and start doing without even thinking about it. And so doing a spending freeze or a no-spend challenge really can be a great way to kind of go cold turkey, to flush kind of those bad habits out of your system, and to start bringing all of your purchasing decisions to the forefront of your mind. And it's really funny because when you start doing this, you'll all of a sudden become incredibly aware of all of these little purchases that you make throughout your week without even them ever consciously coming to your attention.
And so what I'd recommend is, if you're just beginning now your impulse shopping journey and wanting to stop, I would actually recommend doing a 30-day spending freeze. And that's going to give you enough time to really learn where you're most prone to impulse shopping. It's going to give you a longer period of time just to relearn some of those habits. But even a few years in, sometimes I notice my habits just kind of getting a little bit lax. Maybe I'm picking up a coffee at Starbucks on my way driving somewhere or something like that. I find myself making more impulse purchases. Something that I like to do is just a shorter spending freeze. I'll go a week without spending any unnecessary money, and that helps me just to create a bit of a reset.
So whether it's for a longer or shorter period of time, I love challenges like this because they help us to kind of reset our habits and get ourselves to a much healthier place. But then also too, we'll learn so much about how we spend money, why we spend money, the way that we spend money. And I think that if we're really conscious about processing through, "Okay, why do I want to buy something right now?" there really is so much we can learn that can in turn help us to create healthier shopping habits going forward.
And one quick tip with this for a successful shopping freeze is to get accountability. Find a friend or maybe a family member and challenge them to do the shopping ban with you. You can check in with each other either week to week or at the end of the month, and then just sit down and compare kind of what each other did. Sometimes having somebody to kind of go through it creates a bit of a competitive atmosphere to it, makes it more fun, and then also it's not just you trying to do it all yourself, you've kind of got community and support too.
Okay, but then our second shopping rule, and this one really is so huge, is to avoid problem spots. Know your weaknesses. Where or when are you most prone to impulse shopping or emotional spending? Maybe it's the dollar spot at Target, a specific store's app on your phone, maybe it's Instagram, or even the entire store of Home Goods. And honestly, it doesn't have to be a specific place to. It might just be when you're really hungry and haven't eaten, or late at night when you're really tired and probably should be trying to fall asleep instead.
Become aware of where and when you're most tempted to spend, and try to intentionally avoid those areas or shopping during those times. You know, especially with impulse purchases, we really are only going to be tempted to spend based on what we see. So one of the best things that you can do is just try to limit your exposure to the source of that temptation and not to put yourself in environments where you're going to be tempted to spend. Just by deleting the app, avoiding that one section of the store, or having a meal before you go buy groceries, you'll be able to avoid a lot of impulse spending.
And one quick tip with this one that's especially helpful if groceries are an area where you tend to impulse spend maybe more than others is to try using buy online and pick up in store. A lot of the impulse shopping that we do in the grocery store is basically seeing things on the end caps and aisle displays and just kind of adding them to our cart. And so by just ordering everything online and picking it up, you don't actually need to go into the store, you're not going to see the displays, so it's a lot easier to come away from the grocery store with only what you need.
But then moving on, number three is to consider your headspace. The next time you go out to buy something, just check in quickly and ask yourself, "Am I feeling emotional, sad, or even depressed right now?" And if you are, don't go out shopping. Try finding other ways to uplift your mood without spending money. Yes, there is the dopamine hit that makes us feel a little bit better when we first buy something, but it isn't lasting. You know, it's really a band-aid fix at best. It covers the problem, but it doesn't actually fix it. To find real healing, you're going to need to go to the root, and shopping just isn't going to help with that.
So a rule that I've implemented for myself that I found to really help is to only buy things when I'm in a happy and healthy mindset, or at least a neutral one. Because buying things as a coping mechanism or to ignore or minimize other problems really just delays the issue. Sure, I can buy something, but I know that a few hours later, I'll be feeling exactly how I was before. It's a lot like a placebo pill. It might look like a solution, but it's not actually going to do anything long term. You're going to end up in the exact same place.
Okay, and then our fourth rule is to make a list of what you need. And this is really just a great way to avoid those run-of-the-mill impulse buys. You know, the tip where we run out to the store just to buy a gallon of milk, but then come home with bags and bags filled with coffee, candy, fruit, or whatever else caught our attention at the store. And if that's something that you do, you go shopping and just buy whatever catches your eye, a list can be really helpful. By writing out a list of only the items that you need and focusing on buying only those, not only are you going to be able to buy a lot more intentionally, but also I think you'll be surprised by how much money you can save.
The key, though, is to buy only the items on the list. You don't want to check everything off the list and then just start browsing. I feel like something that's worth mentioning with this one is, I feel like when we hear "used lists," we often think of grocery shopping lists, which I feel like almost all of us use. And while obviously, yes, using lists works great for buying food, it doesn't need to be limited to that. Making lists and only buying based off of those can work great for things like clothing and other household goods too.
This is actually something that we did a couple months ago when we decluttered Christopher's wardrobe. He got rid of a lot of worn-out clothes, but then because of that, ended up with several gaps in his wardrobe. So we wrote down a pretty specific list of what were the gaps that he had in his wardrobe and what items he would need to fill them. And over the past few months, we've been able to fill all of those holes without really bringing in any excess. And so making and using lists really can be such a powerful way to make sure that you're buying what you need without having any mindless purchases just sneaking in there.
Then our fifth rule is to find healthy alternatives. Whether it's through spending, scrolling, eating junk food, or anything else, we often self-medicate or reward ourselves in unhealthy ways. And like we were talking about before, it's not enough just to get rid of those old unproductive habits, but we need to replace them with something new. So it's important that we find healthier and more productive alternatives. And what exactly that looks like and what works is obviously going to be individual to you. But a couple ideas are to try calling a friend, going outside, or reading a book, or making a tea.
For me, drinking a tea and getting outside really are my go-to's. Being outdoors is a great way to naturally boost your serotonin levels. It's going to reduce stress, increase your energy, and to help calm you. And so where in the past my default might have been online shopping, scrolling social media, or going to the store, in the past, now what I try to do when I'm feeling stressed or anxious is I'll just go outside for a walk or even sit in the sun. And honestly, I get a similar feeling when I make a tea too. It's something that I look forward to and enjoy, and there's something just very cozy and warming and honestly soothing to me about that process.
And so whether you choose to do those or something completely different, try finding healthy alternatives to using shopping as a form of therapy or reward. The goal is to stop seeing shopping and buying things as this very emotionally driven thing and to try looking at it from a more practical perspective.
Then we have two left here. Number six is to think long term. Most impulse buyers are the result of being caught up in the moment, and so you want to get outside of that. And something that I like to think about whenever I'm considering an item that I hadn't initially planned on purchasing is, "Do I see myself using this item in a year? How about in five years?" Sometimes just drawing out the time frame that we're trying to figure out if an item will be useful to us, it really can help us gain a lot of clarity and perspective.
And then just a really practical habit that I try to practice whenever I'm about to check out from a store is, before I approach the checkout line, I'll just look down at what I have in my hands or my shopping cart and just ask myself, "Do I need this? Will I use it? Do I love it?" If the answer is no, I'll just go and put it back. And it's funny, when I first started doing this, it was a bit embarrassing how much I was putting back, but gradually over time, it's gotten less and less. And most of the time, I can check out now without putting anything back. But sometimes there is still something that I'll put away.
And so this really has just made a huge difference for me. One of the biggest problems with our impulse purchases is that we just aren't thinking about them. And so by bringing that decision-making process to the forefront of our minds when we're about to buy something, we can usually avoid most impulse purchases. So just write these questions down on your phone or a piece of paper, bring it with you when you go shopping, and the next time you go to check out, just ask yourself those questions: "Am I going to use it, not just now, but long term? Do I need it? Do I love it?" And if you don't, just put it back.
All right, and then finally, number seven is to return liberally. Did you make a mistake? Did you make an impulse purchase? Did you engage in a bit of retail therapy? It's okay, and it's not too late to fix it. I feel like often when we're trying to make a big change like this, we just want things to get immediately better overnight, but that's not always how it works. And in fact, it usually isn't. The road to progress is usually paved with two steps forward and one backward. But what we have to realize is that's just part of the journey. So don't get down on yourself if you make a mistake. That's not productive. Fix it as much as you can, return the item, see if there's a lesson that you might be able to learn for next time, but then move on.
For a bit there, the people at the Target returns desk got to know me a little too well as I was retraining my habits. But over time, as I became more aware and intentional about my purchases, I found that I was needing to return things less and less. I think it's important that we allow ourselves grace and time and room to grow. We're not always going to do it perfectly, but the goal is just that we can, in a year, in five years, or in 10, be able to look back and see growth.
All right, well that's it. Those are the seven rules that I used to transform my buying habits. They've helped me go from a habitual impulse shopper and using buying things as a band-aid fix to cover up deeper issues, to really shopping far more intentionally and buying with purpose. And so whether you choose to implement one or a handful of these rules, I really hope that this gives you maybe some tools that you can use to change your buying habits.
But now, I'd love to know, is there maybe one or a handful of these tips that you want to start implementing today? I'd love to hear about it, so be sure to let me know in the comments below. That's everything I've got for you in today's video, but as always, don't forget to give this video a like if you enjoyed it and subscribe if you haven't already for more simple and intentional living videos coming at you twice a week. See you all in the next one.