Alpha Femme - Melanie Ann Layer - The Propaganda of Rock Bottom

Hello Facebook live. How are you today? Melanie and Layer coming to you here live, live streaming directly through Zoom onto my Facebook page. I'm just not 100% sure that this is working in this moment. I don't see it. Kevin sees it. We see it. Okay. All right.

[gasps and sighs] I have a big live stream and I am going live here this way because I'm actually going to put this live up probably on YouTube when I'm done, which doesn't actually happen often. But I think this is one of the most important conversations that I've ever done outside of a master class. Something to be done publicly like this that's not just for my clients and people that I assume already understand or are coming for the information that I'm putting out there. And it's actually put out for the internet and for people to actually contemplate because I've realized that the work that I've been doing for the last while has become mainstream more and more and more and more. What used to be something that I talked about with a select few people at this level is now becoming like more and more people are hearing about it, more and more people are being drawn to it, more and more people desire it.

And the thing is, personal development in [clears throat] the way that I live by it is a very different thing than mainstream personal development. And everything in the world has different gradients. Everything in the world can be done in different ways, in different different levels of passion, different levels of dedication. Like there are people who jam music on the weekends and there's people who live by creating music. There's people who do arts and crafts and DIY projects and there's people who have their work up in art galleries and live by their art. There's people who create craft cocktails at parties for fun and there's the people who create the most sophisticated wines the world has ever known. There's always a range. And just because something interests us doesn't mean that we're wanting to go to the absolute peak or depth of of the understanding of it. Sometimes we're just passionate by our understanding of it. And that is perfect.

But what tends to happen whenever something that is kind of sacred to a certain culture goes mainstream is it's entirely misunderstood for a while. And it's like people don't have the pallet yet to understand the the depth of what someone who's dedicated their entire life to something understands. Like a fine wine kesar can take a sip of wine and tell you like how old it's been, what kind of oak or what kind of barrel it's been created in, what undertones there are. And then someone else can't tell whether it's a $50 bottle of wine or a $500 bottle of wine. Like it takes a certain pallet to be able to tell things. Even be able to be able to tell genuine leather for not from not genuine leather or a real diamond from a not real diamond or what is made from what's a high-end material and what's not a high-end material. What's a luxury? What's not a luxury? At the beginning, if you don't have the eye for it, you just don't know. Like we don't just come into this world understanding every single thing that's available to be passionate about at every level. It's the more we're passionate about it, the more we de we develop a desire to understand it, the deeper and deeper we go.

And so I was actually having this conversation with one of my clients in my House of Oat mastermind today and we were talking about philosophy. And so I am now a mentor. I coach women in all kinds of different areas of life. But ultimately, who I am is an artist. And who I am is a new world, new age, new new way philosopher. A modern-day philosopher. I spend my life contemplating, studying people, and studying the work of people. And it is it is my passion. It's my life. It's the thing that I found is my most important gift to this world. And it's so interesting because you think of like how science is evolving and how mathematics are evolving. And it's like the the new minds of today are studying the greatest minds and and contemplating deep scientific breakthroughs and bringing them forward again with new understandings and having new groundbreaking breakthroughs based on past research. And we're moving the world forward not just with new people having ideas, but also the deeper contemplation of things that have already existed. The innovation, the deepening.

And so a lot of my work is not just based on my own life, but it's also the contemplation of deep meaningful things that already exists and and and really studying these things and bringing them into the real real world and trying them. [clears throat] Trying them for myself, trying them with my clients, having real life case studies, really bringing in these concepts that are like, let's test these. Does this actually work? Do energetics this way actually work or is this just a beautiful concept? Is it something that sounds fantastic, but does it work? And I've been testing a lot of these concepts in my life for a decade now. And the thing is, my work is like an iceberg because in order for me to be able to deliver a coaching call or a mentorship call or a program in the way that I want to deliver it, I've got to contemplate and philosophize and and try things and live by things for days, months, years before they ever make it to be this proven concept that I'm willing to put out there into the world and say, "I've lived by this. This has changed me. I have enough case studies to be able to say this is the way, this is the thought pattern, these are the words."

And so the work that I'm bringing to the world is different than a lot of what we're seeing in the mainstream coaching world. It's like different gradients of the same passion. Some people love to help people and a lot of their work, the entire iceberg is about the work they do with other people. For me, the biggest part of my work is the work I do in the God zone. It's the work that I do in the contemplation and the reenacting and the living by the actual concepts that I then help people try on in their own lives and live by.

And so what I feel really called to and what I feel really pulled to now and how my work has evolved over the years because this has changed over time. But what I feel really pulled to now and the people I really work with are people who've got a calling for something that is so big and they don't really have any reason really that they're called to this other than they're called to it. It's not like it's a family tradition. It's not like it is lineage passed down. It's not like they have a whole network of people that could help them do it. It's not like they come from this kind of work. It's seemingly from nothing or from a lack or from a a realization that the world needs this. And then they become on a mission to do whatever it is that they want to do. Whether it's in the world of fashion, whether it's in the world of personal development, whether it's in the world of sales, whether it's in the world of service, whether it's in the world of product development, whether it's whatever world it's in, it's deeply connected to a mission that is about people.

So, the women that tend to be drawn to my work are people who have this desire to bring something to the world they feel the world is missing. And they they can't rest until they know they're fulfilling that mission. It's just impossible. It eats them alive. Anything else that they do is it pales in comparison to the fulfilling of this mission. And it seems like all the arrows in their lives are constantly pointing them to this mission. And it it just consumes them. Like there's it's such it's so important. And they've been given life circumstances. They've been given things in their lives that just all point to the same direction. It's like this is the calling. And sometimes the calling shapeshifts and the more they learn, the more it evolves. But always they're drawn to this experience which is like I'm supposed to help people with this.

And the thing that's difficult when people have a calling as opposed to when someone is just good at something and they want to be paid for it or if someone chooses a profession based on like I'm good at this and this will make me money. When it's a calling is that a lot of the times we don't really know how we're going to be paid for it. The money doesn't really make sense. But the thing is the the mission needs to be funded. You need resources. Whether it's whether you're a philanthropist and you want to you want to raise funds for something or whether you're, you know, small business and you need to be able to pay your team properly, there needs to be money. There needs to be resources. But there's different ways that people are driven to become successful in this lifetime. And I've studied people now for over a decade of my life. And I've worked with thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people a week, every week for the past 10 years. And I have had so many conversations with all kinds of different people. And it's so clear that different people have different motivations to become successful.

For some people, it's to escape something, to no longer be tied to a certain lineage, to be able to have their own way. For some people, it's for independence so that they don't rely on other people. For some people, it's to prove to themselves that they can do it or that other to other people that they can do it. Those normally are not the clients that I have that have the biggest quantum leaps, but I have helped women do the most extraordinary things and set themselves up for financial freedom in the most beautiful way.

Where re things really become interesting in my world is people who come in and who are like, I have a mission. There's this vision I've got, but I know that in order to do this, it's going to require a lot of courage. I'm I may be misunderstood. I need to go against the grain. I've got clients in the education system. I've got clients in the in the government system. I've got women who are really redefining very very set in stone paradigms and wanting to bring in a new way. And it's like the the old way is fighting hard. And it's like in order for me to survive into the mission that I want. I need to be able to not collapse under the pressure that I'm under to the fear of this not working out, the feelings of fear of being misunderstood or of people not getting it. Like there's so much in the way of it just being like I'm the one and I'm fulfilling this mission. Like I was not guided to have the conviction. I don't have anyone in my family that speaks with the conviction I need. I was never trained for debate. You know, whenever someone comes and and threatens my point of view, I I freeze. Although I I can hold the belief inside of me, the minute I try to speak, I can't do it. You know, whether it's I feel afraid that I'm making people, you know, mad or that people misunderstand me, that they don't they don't get it. I'm not explaining myself properly or I I I just the pressure of how much this matters is a lot. And I I don't know how to hold it all the time on my own. And when I'm under too much pressure, sometimes I freeze. Sometimes I just kind of blow up and and self-sabotage some or I just start overgiving massively and make no money and I just give and give and give and give and I never get paid. Like I I've got all these weird defense mechanisms that are coming in as I'm trying to build this power. I'm finding myself regressing into all kinds of weird things that I haven't done in years and I don't know I don't know how to hold myself.

And so how how I'm really serving the world in different scales right now is that I'm helping people understand. And this is like I think the most powerful way I could explain this on this live stream. I'm helping people understand the difference between being stressed and operating with pressure. And these two things I did not understand the difference for the longest time. I knew what stress looked like because I knew what parents who have three kids and don't really have the right amount of money to pay all the bills feel like on the 30th of the month. It looks like stress. It looks like overdoing it. It looks like working extremely hard. It mean it looks like having a short fuse. It looks like not really being able to focus. It looks like a lot of external factors are the reason when you lose your temper. It looks like it's not your fault. It looks like it is your fault. It looks like beating yourself up. It looks like overcompensating to try to avoid another conflict. It looks like running away in order to try to avoid a conflict. It looks like putting your head in the sand. It looks like a million things in order to not be stressed because you're too stressed.

But pressure doesn't look like that. Pressure looks like what you see in the movies when everything looks like it's going to crumble and that one person's just holding the room like they somehow know it's all going to be okay. When everything's falling apart, but they're afraid. You saw it. You saw it in the scene before, but in this moment, you'd never be able to tell because they've they're they're in the zone. They're locked into something. They're connected to something maybe bigger than themselves. They're locked into a faith. There's something about their presence right now that is operating not from stress, from holding the pressure of how important this is and not collapsing, not fracturing under it. And it is one of the most like I can't look away things you've ever seen. And they are building this power and you're like, "Oh my gosh, like that's not that's not what the people in my life look like when they're under that kind of stress. They're frantic. They're frazzled. They can't speak. They get mad. They lose their temper. They blame the situation for the fact that they're so stressed. I'm sorry I talked to you that way. I've just been under a lot of stress lately. I'm so sorry for the way I behaved. I'm just under so much stress lately." Then you're seeing these people handling huge matters in the world with the kind of composure that makes you wonder if they care because it's like how do you be so stable? And like when you come from a lineage of people who've held pressure, you tend to be taught from a very young age how to handle pressure. And not everyone knows how to do it well. For some people, it's like hide that you're under stress. That's not the same as metabolizing pressure. It just looks like hiding stress will.

But the people who really metabolize pressure create extraordinary things because pressure is the gateway to extraordinary things. Pressure is what creates diamonds. Pressure is what builds up for the baby to come. Pressure is the thing right before the orgasm. Pressure is the thing that leads to the epiphany, the greatness. But pressure not like chaotic or stress pressure like controlled stable pressure until completion. And so when we are not very good at holding pressure, it turns into stress. We fracture under the pressure. We become short-tempered and narrow like not able to focus and all these things. And so I really my work at at its peak when I'm really working with extremely influential people, people who have so much writing on a decision or on the way that they're going to explain something or on the way they're going to navigate a a problem or the way they're going to speak to a room who has different opinions about things and bring everyone together. I am helping people actually completely understand what it feels like to metabolize pressure as opposed to operate under stress. Because I realized that we are not taught the difference. And that for the longest time in our lives, if we don't know the difference, we just fe we just we're we're stressed. We think it's pressure, but it's stress. If you are never taught the difference, odds are you're stressed because there's an art to pressure. There's a way to think about it. There's a way to expand into it. There's a way to breathe into it. And if you've only ever seen stress, you might just think pressure is someone who's good at hiding stress, which creates anxiety and all kinds of weird stuff.

So most the world is burning out, not because they're holding pressure, but because they're holding stress and we don't know how to do it. But it doesn't work to build something extraordinary in your life when you're stressed. It just doesn't work. Not the not the best that you could possibly do. You'll always be a fraction of who you are when you're when you're stressed. And the way that I've come to see it is like stress is the experience of the power inside of you and the power outside of you, inside and outside are not coherent. They're not cohesive. They're not creating a unified for a unified force field. The pressure inside of you is either so big and you wish you could do big things, but the world around you is not responding with opportunities that match it or the world is giving you so many things it needs from you and you're crumbling under the stress of it all.

And so the way to create the ability to lead ourselves to our mission in a way that is serving the world is to enter what I call the God zone with the pressure. Which means that you're not trying to do it all yourself and you're not trying to be a hero and you're not trying to prove anything to anyone. You're not trying to show that you can and it's not coming from an ego place. It's like you understand that the thing you're holding is for the world. In which case, if it's for the world, faith will help you hold it. If you're able to become more grounded in your faith in the fact that you were given this mission in the first place, in the knowing that it was something that was bigger than you and it exists for a reason, you're able to tap into the God zone and say, "Look, help me hold this. Mother Nature, God, the universe, help me hold this." and you are holding a God's own mission with God's own faith. The most detrimental thing that people do in this lifetime is try to hold a God's own mission with human strength and willpower. Because the same pressure that creates diamonds also fractures bones. It's not just about one is heavy and one is not. They're both heavy. It's just one you metabolize the pressure and the other one it squishes you. it crushes you.

And so what I really want to bring into this world, what I really want to help people do is understand the difference because I see that there's two very different ways that the world is operating right now and they're conflicting ways and it causes massive separation in the world. And the difference is one is stress relief and the other one is pressure to satisfaction in an incredible life. And so when people are stressed to be successful, they imagine they need to do it to keep up with the the Joneses, to keep up with the Kardashians. They imagine they have to do it to look a certain way, to prove a certain thing, to prove they're belonging, they're becoming, to prove that they are good enough, to prove whatever it is. And all of that causes stress because none of it is in the God zone. None of it. Anything that you're proving that already exists is not in the God zone. It's pointless. It's a useless. It's a useless experience of your life because you're proving something that was already true about you. It's like I am proving that this is my hand. Why? What? It it is my hand. It's very clearly my hand. Why am I spending the rest of my life proving that this is my hand? I am proving that I am worthy. It's like been there, done that. We're all aware of that. You were born worthy. Nothing's changed. Proving that I belong. It's like if you didn't, it would mean that God made a mistake. So, you're just we're just going to go with you belong because that's a little more easily to easier to believe. I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing I belong and I'm worthy. It's like those are God-given things. You were born with that stuff. You don't need to prove that. That's just a waste of your life to prove something that was just a given. What the goal is in this is to create the most beautiful things with the belonging and with the worthiness. Like, it's because you're worthy. It's because of that that you create all the beautiful things. You don't try to prove that you're worthy. You're worthy. So then you do great things because of it. It's the reward you give mother nature, God, the universe. You say, "Thank you for this extraordinary life. Let me do incred incredible things with my worthiness and my belonging. Not [clears throat] let me spend the rest of my life trying to belong." So it's like that you came with the belonging. Batteries were included. Belonging included, right?

So I talked about my mission to millions master class. But here's the thing. There are different ways that you can interact with humanity. One is with the belief that everyone belongs and everyone is capable. And one is with the belief that not everyone belongs and not everyone is capable. One is with the belief that through time across time, every one of us will eventually understand why we're here if we stay connected to the fact that that's the whole point. And the other one is connected to the fact that some people are just mistakes and they're not really supposed to be here for a reason and maybe there's no reason at all. There's one way to look at things where you help people become or you believe in people's greatness and their power and the fact that someone who feels like they are connected to something big probably are. But they've got to learn to metabolize pressure if they've never done that before. They need to be able to handle real fe facing real fears when the fears come. They need to learn how to stay a stable field and not crumble under pressure or quit or let go or sabotage. Like they need to learn how to become all these things. And the other way is trying to make sure that people don't experience pain. And you can see it like even in motherhood, you have the moms who build children who are brave and bold and you have moms who make sure that their kids don't suffer and that they don't and they try to protect them so much. It's two different parenting styles. One comes with a lot of pressure. I've got to hold the pressure and the fear that I feel that my child has to figure it out. And the other one is like I cannot handle the fear that I feel that my child is going through pain and I want to change it and I want to take it all away and I want to make sure that there's no pain. And the balance and the hard thing is caring about the pain and being there for it and giving guidance but not trying to protect from the pain and helping them metabolize the pressure and become a person who can actually hold their own life.

And so the thing is not everyone is brought up in this world with a family that can set that that that ability for them. Not everyone comes into this world with people with parents that even have capacity to be able to hold pressure. People come into this world with parents who are stressed out and are doing their best and blame everything including their kids and rely on anyone and anything and crumble under the pressure. And then kids grow up being stressed and trying not to put their stress on other people and try to look like they're strong when they're crumbling inside. And they burn out overgiving and doing too much. And we've got this paradigm on Earth right now where it's the overgiving overdoing paradigm of like the more I prove my worthiness and the more I prove that I belong, the more maybe I'll feel like something and everyone's exhausted. And it's like there is another way, but there's a caveat. There's a catch. The other way is not attached to personal evidence. It's not based on you finally proving that you deserve it or that you're worthy. It's actually built separate from that. It's like that's already included. Batteries included, belonging included. It's more for the world. Like you realize I don't have time to worry about whether I belong here. I'm supposed to like do a huge thing on this planet. Like don't have time to contemplate whether I'm allowed or whether I deserve to do something great for humanity. Like what do you mean? Let me do this thing. I've got this burning desire. Time is passing and I want to make a difference in my life. I want to live by something that changes the world. Like I I know I'm meant to do these great things. And that internal pressure is so intense it pales in comparison to any other problem. There is no pressure like the pressure of a human soul that is trying to birth its mission. This is it.

For some people, their mission is their children. They know they're supposed to be parents. They're supposed to be parents right now. For some people, it's meant to be. They're supposed to have this this voice. They're supposed to say something. They're supposed to write a book. They're supposed to create music. They're supposed to invent a process, a service, a thing on the planet. It's like it's supposed to it has to exist. But I don't know how to do it. I don't have the funds to do it. I don't have the the connections to do it. I don't even have the courage to do it. I don't have the evidence that I can do it. Why do I want to do this? This is insane.

And so when we are in this lifetime faced with so much evidence of people who have things that we want or they can do things that we wish we could do, it's so easy to compare ourselves. And it's what most people are using the internet for. It's what most people are using connection for is to compare themselves. Am I as good as you? Am I as capable as you? Can I do it? Should I do it? Does it work for you but not for me? Does it work for me but not for you? Am I better than you? Are you better than me? We're not actually using what we've got as as tools as like calibration opportunities like tuning fork. Like you've built the thing that I desire. You're a real person with a dream. I'm a real person with a dream. Let me pay attention to how you did that. This is really interesting. Congratulations. By the way, this is epic. I have the same kind of calling. Okay. So, what did it take for you to do that? Okay. You had to do this. You had to do this. You had to do this. And so what's happening is instead of the real like real human calibration that comes from like two people who influence each other and care about each other and say I admire what you've done or I admire what you were able to do with your life and I'd love for you to download some of those codes that took you however many years to to navigate and give me some of that information. I'd love to receive that from you. It's like what do you know that I don't know? What can I take? What can I get? What can I run away with?

And so what we're facing right now is that the people that have a big mission and the people that want to be very rich just to be able to be very rich are speaking very similar language now because personal development has become mainstream. And this is an amazing thing for the future and a very wobbly thing for the present because navigating this is difficult. It's like, have you ever been in a city where they have the luxury in motel? Because that sounds like a good title, but it's not a luxury at all. But it's called the luxury in because it sounds good. It's like the words matter because they they they explain something. Right now in personal development, there are the philosophers of this world and there are also the accountability people. There are also the therapist people. There are also the people who are taking the role of mother in other people's world just trying to protect them from pain. But everyone's calling it the same thing. And it's not. It's like athlete is pickle ball on a Saturday after a between a beer and a hot dog and athlete is gold Olympian gold star medalist. It's like, oh yes, I'm an athlete. I play I play pickle ball on a Saturday with my cousin Phil. It's like not you're athletic potentially. I wouldn't go with athlete, but it's like I am. I'm an athlete. I'm allowed to claim that word.

And so the thing is the words that are being used are being used the same everywhere. And it's making people very confused because they don't understand energetics. Now, the thing is, if my friend says to me, you know, I've become somewhat of an athlete. I play pickle ball on a Saturday. I'm going to smile and I'm going to love my friend because I understand the energetics of what they just said. But when someone says, I'm an athlete, the expectation, if you don't tag it, tap into the energetics is that they are an athlete. And in the same way, when someone says like, I am a man, I'm a manifesttor, I'm a mentor, I'm a coach, the expectation is that it means something very big. But it doesn't always, you know, you could coach the little league, the little league league team of your 5-year-old's, you know, soccer team, whatever it is, on a Saturday, and you would be a coach, but you could also be the head coach of a massive like NBA team. The word is the same. The energetics are not. And what's the problem right now is that people don't understand energetics entirely. So, it's kind of like, oh, I don't like wine, so I should buy a $500 bottle of wine, then at least it'll probably be more delicious. It's like, if you don't like wine, you won't like a $500 bottle of wine. But if you don't like cheap wine cuz you have a sophisticated palette, then you'll be able to tell what's a better wine. But if you don't like wine, you won't like a $500 bottle of wine. It doesn't change the taste. We need a more sophisticated pallet when it comes to personal development so that we understand where we need to be and who we need to be working with and why we're choosing them. Because there are people who choose coaches so that they can not be afraid. And there are people who choose coaches so that they can metabolize pressure. And those are for two entirely different reasons.

There are people who have missions and they're holding the pressure of a mission they want to make manifest in their lifetime. And there are other people who hold the stress of being able to stick it to the man that they are capable and they want to make sure they're rich before someone's not present of mind enough to notice that they're they've made it. That's a different kind of feeling. One is stress, one is pressure. It's not the same. When you hire a performance coach so that you be more successful, you are not hiring the same person as when you are hiring a life development mentor so that you can hold pressure in situations you've not been equipped with yet in your life. And that you want to be able to hold more more money, but not just so you can have more money, but so more money can pass through your hands. So that because more money through your hands is good for the world, but you need to be able to hold the pressure of that. And you don't know how to do that. And so you're learning how to metabolize pressure. That's so different than you being rich. They're different purposes. It comes from different reasons. There's different motivations.

And so what's happening is that there is like a little bit of a a war the way there always is between different fields where people have different reasons for being there. You know, in the food industry, there's the people who believe that it's all about sustainable food. There's the people who believe that it's all about food as art. There's the people who believe that it's all about food as technique. There's the people who believe that it's all about food as a discipline. Some people believe it's all about food as nutrition. And these people can easily get into a war with each other about what's the best way and what's the most valuable thing. But it would depend what they're passionate about, what their mission is, and why they're here. And depending on who you are, you would agree that one person's mission is more valuable than another person's mission or right for you or not.

And so here's where I kind of get into a little bit of a tizzy when it comes to my work on this planet. I try to be so clear with this, but it still gets muddled. It still gets so muddled. I am not here for the people who want to prove a point. I am not here for the people who want to stick it to someone and show the world that they can do it. I am not here for people who want an ego trip of success. I'm not here for people who need to constantly be the most successful people in the room or else they don't want to play. I am not here for people who believe in authority over people in entrepreneurship. I am not here for people who want to stand out. I am here for people who want to better the world they belong to. That are willing to take the pressure of standing out to the world they belong to and to take that responsibility, but that are not looking to be different and separate from the world so they can get applause. They want to belong to the world that gets changed by their own impact. And they're willing to take the heat and the pressure that it takes for them to lead that movement no matter what and to become the kind of people that it takes. They're not just wanting to do the work that they're getting paid for hour for hour, result for result. They are willing to craft themselves for hours before they ever charge for what they've done. These are people who do more in private than they do in public. These are people who are training themselves to be the greatest they can be because of because they want their mission to succeed. They're not people who are trying to make it look a certain way. They're people who care more about what it is and then are curious about how to demonstrate it in a way that represents the actual amount of work that they've put in. Not how do I make it look so that people do it's more of an internal game.

So when I'm speaking to those people, I'm speaking to them from a different place. And everything I do and everything I say and everything I am works so beautifully aligned for these people and it falls completely wrong for other people. And I want to give you the perfect example of this. So one of the things that has happened in my life is that I went through a rock bottom [clears throat] moment. And the real truth is I was embarrassed about that rock bottom moment for a very long time. For years, I didn't talk about what went down in my life and I didn't talk about what happened to me because I was actually embarrassed that I did not have the personal ability to choose my change. I was embarrassed that I waited until it was now and all the weight, all the I could do it later had passed. And I wished I had been strong enough to just choose it. The way I I felt I want I wanted to tell my clients just choose it. [laughter] Don't do like me. Don't hit rock bottom. Just choose it for yourself instead of waiting till it gets so bad that it feels like you have no choice.

But at the same time, what happened as energetics would have it is I met a lot of people in rock bottom because of what I went through. People who were guided to me in the God zone and who said, "I'm going through hell right now. What do I do?" And the fact is I told my rock bottom story, but I told the rock bottom story because I wanted the people who felt like they were doomed to be able to hold the pressure of what they were experiencing instead of fracturing under the stress of it. I did not tell the rock bottom story to glamorize rock bottom. I did not tell the rock bottom story so that people that were not at rock bottom purposefully threw themselves off a cliff just so that they would have a sob story. I did not tell the story of rock bottom to make it feel like that was the gateway. I told the story because the people that were coming to me like it, yeah, but look at you what you have. It's easy for you. It's easy. I said, yeah, but look where I came from. You're going to be okay. Not for people to manufacture chaos in their lives to try to mimic what happened to me or what what happened to some of the greatest people of all times that have been through rock bottom. But to help people metabolize pressure when they're in a state of stress.

Now, here's why this is important, why this conversation matters. I have a group on Facebook. There's 40,000 people in this group, and I have contemplated a hundred times over whether I should shut it down. The reasons I want to keep it alive is because this is a group I opened in 2017. It was actually difficult for me to get 100 people in that group when I opened it. I had no influence at that time. I did not have a reach. I did not have connections and I built my entire brand with less than 100 people in that group. And in building the group, the most incredible people showed up and it was really amazing. And I was nobody. So the only people that really found me were people who were completely resonating with everything I said. As the group got bigger, it offered opportunities for people to connect, for people to be seen, for people to connect with other people. And it started attracting the wrong kind of people. Not people who wanted to belong, but people who wanted to stand out, people who wanted to show themselves as the experts, the people with a different opinion, the ones with the edge, the ones who saw things better, bigger, sharper, different. Instead of just belonging to the group and being a part of it, they wanted to take from the group. And it started to fracture the group. But it didn't take away from the incredible people that were there. It just made it more difficult to have a clear channel towards those people. And I did my best to clean the group up, to delete people, to change the things, to change it around. But there were always people who saw opportunities to come in and take. And I tried to navigate that with as much class and compassion as possible. And we've managed since 2017. We've got 40,000 people in that group. And it gets filtered on a regular basis. People get deleted. They get removed for all kinds of different reasons. But the idea is not to punish people. to keep the group coherent so that I can serve the people I'm supposed to serve and that the group doesn't fracture.

But it's becoming harder and harder to do that because the opportunities for connection are big because it feels like a group of female entrepreneurs which when you take a person who wants to take something or wants to be seen, it's like a magnet for that like oo let me go there and try to be seen and it's becoming harder and harder cuz people are sneaky AF. They come into this spot this space and they make make it sound like they're so grateful for the opportunity and underneath it it's this whole energetic pull and I can feel it and I don't want those people to feel discarded before they've even started but it's like this is not the way and and I'm trying with all of my might to keep the integrity of this group but we're different because personal development is becoming mainstream and people think that everything is made the same and it's Not a group that is there to help people metabolize pressure is not the same as a group that validates other people's stress. It's not the same as a group that helps people not make the scary move and be safe and be in constant nervous system calm. This group is not going to be in constant nervous system calm. But regulating a nervous system doesn't mean you're calm all the time. It means you're able to tell the difference between stress and pressure. When I'm stressed, my nervous system is hyperactive. But when I'm holding pressure, I have a metabolized energy. I still have the same fears. I still have the same I I don't have the evidence. I don't have anything, but I don't have the franticness of the stress. And so nervous system regulation is not the same for everyone. Some people need to regulate their nervous system because they literally feel unsafe of being alive in their everyday life. They feel a threat from everything. They really really have gone through things in their lives where they've got to metabolize even just regular living. But the women that I'm working with aren't trying to metabolize regular living. They're trying to metabolize high peak stress. So they don't need regul nervous system regulation on a Tuesday afternoon. They need nervous system regulation on the peak of their stress on a Monday morning before a meeting that could destroy their mission as they know it. They're not walking around disregulated, but there are external factors that create extraordinary pressure and they want to be able to hold the pressure. They don't want to put the stress down like a relief. They don't want someone telling them that it's normal that they're stressed, that they deserve different, that they should put it down, that it's not that they don't want to put it down. They want to learn how to hold it without fracturing under pressure. This is a totally different skill. The women who continue to push push push through stress, burn out, they don't want to do that. The women who just put their dreams down because it's not good for their nervous system don't achieve the things they're here to achieve. They don't want to do that either. They want to learn how to metabolize pressure and really understand how to do that so that they can be for the world what they're meant to be.

Now, here's what happened in my group today. There was a woman who posted in the group a very powerful question and [clears throat] I can feel power. I can feel it. This woman asked the question yesterday. I only saw it today. But in the group, this is a group called Alpha Fem. So leader, grown-up woman is the energetics. So, this woman was contemplating purchasing something and she was saying in the group, "I want to purchase this thing and I feel like I want it, but if I buy it, I it could put me in jeopardy to the point where like I could be putting myself on the line with my mortgage for a couple of months and that feels really like scary to me." And so, what's the truth? Is it that I don't believe in my dream enough? Or is it just that I'm scared of the money? Like what do you guys think? There was not one piece of this that was about should I invest? She didn't even tell us what it was. This was a discussion about opening a discussion like it I want this but it's going to cause me potential problems. Should I do it? Do I do it? I feel this way about it. But not should I do it like I didn't feel from her like if you tell me to do it I'll do it and I didn't feel from her if you tell me not to do it I won't do it. I just felt I want to contemplate this in the group which is literally the energetics of my entire belief in women and our power is like

We need to be able to have these conversations. So what happened is exactly what I would expect to happen. All the women who have had experiences before of being incredibly brave and doing wild things, said things on the lines of, "You've got to trust yourself. You've got to tap into your own truth. No matter what happens, you're going to grow. You're the only one who knows, but maybe you're being called to." All the women who've done the crazy things and survived it said something of this nature.

All the women who have either seen someone they care about hurt themselves or who have been hurt brought a different perspective. They said, "Listen, don't put yourself in jeopardy for something that you don't know. Your basic needs, like don't jeopardize your basic needs." These, these things can wake. This is what I wish I would have known. This is what I wish I would have thought about. I once hurt myself doing this. There was a wide range of thoughts from a wide range of women, which is what you would expect in a 40,000 person group of leader grown women. To me, it was beautiful.

No one said, "Well, if you don't do it, you don't believe in yourself enough. And the fact that you're questioning this means you don't believe in your dreams." Nobody said, "Oh my gosh, are you insane? What the heck is wrong with you? Do you, how are you, have you lost your marbles?" Everyone shared from their own lived experience, which to me is what womanhood is about.

But there was a fracture in the group because what happened is that there are people in that group that got afraid for this woman. Which means that they feared that she had no personal power. That she would not make the decision based on herself. That she would make her decision based on anything that anyone could have said that would have encouraged or discouraged or whatever. They imagine that other people have so much influence on people that this woman would have been unable to make her own decision. And that is not how I see my group. But it's made me question for two big reasons.

Number one, if I am wrong, and in fact that woman is not as powerful as I felt her when I read her words, because my coaching to her on that thread was, "I feel like you already know the answer in the way that you've asked this. You know, you'd be putting yourself, you feel like you'd be putting yourself in a difficult position." It's, it's like, what I felt from her, she didn't have the full faith to know, "I'm doing this, but I know myself and I've got this." It was like, "If I do this, there's a possibility I'm going to be in a lot of trouble." The energetics weren't there. She was doubting. Even the point that she would bring it to the group and want to discuss it, it wasn't solid.

So what made more sense in that moment is to repair her belief with herself, to get into a place where she wouldn't need to ask, to get herself in a place where even though it's nuts, I believe I, I wouldn't think to ask, "I know this is what I've got to do." Like, what matters more is the belief in herself, the relationship with herself, and to, to not believe that she would have to put herself under any kind of financial strain. Because one of the things she said is, "Would it be helpful for me to like, put myself in a position where there's distress? Because there's a lot of people who say, like, if you, if you've got no choice, then you might actually move, you'll make the moves on in your business. Maybe it would be good for me." And I said to her, "If you don't feel that you have the capacity to choose to do the, the move you need to make, and you would need to put yourself in a place of financial stress, you need to heal the relationship with yourself so that you can be leading yourself because you said so, not because you have no choice of leadership. The power of our own creation is realizing we do have choice."

So I gave her this really powerful thing, and then I realized the difference of opinion of what occurred in that group and how certain people perceived what happened. And it made me realize that we are so different. Because if my purpose on earth were to protect women from making mistakes, I would lead women so differently. But having made colossal mistakes, my purpose is not protecting women from making mistakes. My purpose is helping women not fracture under pressure and knowing the difference between stress and pressure. So the stress of being successful that would make me do something crazy that's not healthy for me in hopes that it would make me have the power to go and be all-in in my business. That's not pressure. That is self-sabotage. That is self-sabotage, sugarcoated in spiritual ascension bravery. I mean, that's not real. The real thing is staying in the pressure. I, I want this, and I'm going to do everything that I can. But the minute I see that it puts me into stress response, it's just not possible.

So, I have been contemplating a post about this all day. And it's difficult because whenever I am being, whenever I am in a situation where it feels like my way is being vilified, I get very annoyed. Because it's like, it's only vilified because we're not having a debate. Because if we were to have a conversation about this, we would both be on the same page. There's a misunderstanding of the energetics somewhere because it's not the way it works. And in the same way, if we were to have a debate, I would understand where you're coming from and I probably wouldn't be so annoyed. And so when I'm coming to these discussions, it's so important for me that I'm not just like, "I'm right and this is wrong," but more so, "This is different, and here's my point." And so I wrote so many posts. They came from so many different places and so many different angles. And I thought, "You know what? I am just going to put it all out there on the line. I'm going to, I'm going to explain the post. I'm going to, I'm going to read them to you. I'm going to tell you what I almost posted and why it wasn't quite it, and what came next because I think this is like the greatest understanding." And I came, I came at it from every angle. Every angle.

My hope is that after I've done this with you, you're not confused about the energetics of personal development [clears throat] as a whole, and that you're actually able to look at, "What are the energetics that you are searching for? What do you need?" Do you need a mom figure that's going to worry about you and save you from other people who can sway you and influence you because you are not yet in a position where you can lead yourself? Or do you want a leadership figure that understands your fear, understands your pressure, and knows that you're capable of more, believes in your power, expects greatness from you, and that might make you wobbly, but you're going to learn how to metabolize pressure? Are you looking for someone that's just going to show you how they did it and you're not even going to be a part of the equation? You're just going to follow what they did and see if it worked. Are you looking for someone? What are you looking for? Because instead of going out there and saying, "You got scammed and you got screwed and you got done and this person's this," it's like, you need to know what you're looking for. And the biggest problem we have right now is people don't know what they're looking for, and they're blaming everybody else when what they get is not what they wanted. If you don't know what you want, you're going to end up with something. And then you'll figure out whether it's what you wanted or not. There's no point making a big fuss out of it. If you didn't know what you wanted in advance and you chose something not knowing what you wanted, you're one step closer when the thing you got was not what you wanted. If you can hold the pressure of that, you become a strong, powerful woman. If you crumble under the stress of that, you feel victimized, you stop trusting your intuition, and you worry, you worry about trusting yourself in the future.

So my desire is not to take away your lived experience, but it's to make sure that that lived experience doesn't make you less powerful forevermore, but it's the opposite. That that lived experience metabolizes pressure, that you're able to survive it, and that you're able to say, "That sucked, and I survived it, so I can trust myself, and maybe I needed this for this, this, this reason, and here's where I go from here." I went from absolutely nothing and being unable to even make the decision that would change my life when I had the energy, the, the power, the resources, the access. I couldn't even do it. I couldn't make a decision to save my life. And I've become in the past decade a person who could do anything. But it's in becoming a woman that could lead myself and hold pressure and take responsibility and not need protecting and not need a villain or a hero, to be the one to claim that I'm the one and to walk with giants and to not, and not compare myself to whether I'm bigger or smaller, but to actually just become shoulder-to-shoulder, however long it takes to get there, and grateful that people are willing to transparently walk. Whether it makes me feel small or big or what doesn't really matter. What matters is whether I am going to fulfill my mission. And if there's someone out there that's willing to show me how to hold pressure, well, it's something I never learned before, and they're certainly not teaching it in classrooms yet. And so I'm grateful that there are people brave enough to be the ones that has been my experience. This is what I offer the world.

Here are the posts. Okay, these are very much based on everything of today. Okay. Manufacturing crisis will not make you a diamond. People hear stories of those who lost everything, fell to their knees, hit rock bottom, and then rose in brilliance. And they misinterpret the true point of the story. They think the fall created the rise. They think the collapse is the catalyst. They think stress creates the point of no return. So, they begin manufacturing their own disasters. Maybe they quit their jobs in hopes that that is what will give them no choice but to go all in on their dream. They put their basic needs in jeopardy in attempts to burn the ships without the ability to face what is required of them to take the beach. They cut off relationships that could have been repaired. They dismantle stability in the name of trusting the universe. They provoke chaos, hoping it will reveal their destiny. They're trying to forge themselves into diamonds, but they misunderstand the physics, the metaphysics, the psychology, the biology, the energetics. Diamonds are made under pressure, yes, but not under chaos. Not under instability, not under random explosive force. Not under random explosive force. Diamonds form under steady, calibrated, controlled compression in an environment stable enough to hold its shape. Most humans under pressure do not crystallize. They fracture.

What this basically means is that the rock bottom story you heard that makes you feel like maybe you should just be so brave as to go hit rock bottom was not told for you. It was told when you, for when you're in moments where you don't think you can handle the stress you're under, not for you to go put yourself in positions of stress. Those stories are for you to metabolize pressure when you are usually going to collapse under stress. They are not an invitation for you to create a crisis in your life that you can bounce back from.

The next post. Collapse does not birth greatness. Clarity does. People don't rise from rock bottom because rock bottom is magical. They rise because holding the pressure of rock bottom without fracturing is the catalyst for total honesty. Nothing left to perform, nothing left to protect, nothing left to hide. When all illusions collapse, the truth is finally audible. But honesty doesn't require catastrophe. Truth doesn't require terror. Revelation doesn't require ruin. You don't need to burn your life down to see what's always been there. It's about true presence, full attention, and courage to face the truth without forcing life to become so unbearable that it's less stressful to move than it would be to stay the same. This is the difference between learning how to metabolize pressure that was created in the God zone, which is my whole, like, leaders are bridges and bridges are tested, versus creating synthetic stress thinking that you're going to become a diamond under the, the pressure. It's not the same. One is manufactured. One is about creating so much stress in your life that it's more stressful to do nothing than to move. That's still not metabolizing pressure. That is putting yourself in an active stress response. That's not the same. You are not going to create the same level of power there.

There's a difference between "leaders are bridges and bridges are tested" versus "I don't think this is strong enough, but I'm going to check." Like, you build a bridge and you say it's ready, and God tests it, is different than you saying, "I think it's good. I should probably test it." Those are, seem similar. There's a test. But the fact that you're testing it means something very different than when you're willing to say, "It doesn't even need testing," and then God tests it, and you still show up.

So here's the next post. Rock bottom stories, rags to riches stories. This is what happens by, this is my process. Sometimes when you see one post on social media, I've written seven. And every time I write it, I'm like, "It's incomplete. It's not the right angle. It's not it. It's not right." Then something else comes through. Then I write it a different way. And by the time I put the last one in, I've metabolized the pressure of seven posts that I've written that are not the right ones. And then I'm like, "This is the one." I'm not stressed to write the post. I'm not trying to get my emotions out into the internet. I want my mission to come out into the world. So, I'm willing to hold the pressure of seven posts that are not perfect. And tonight, seven posts and then a live stream in order to get this point across because it matters so deeply to me what my mission is. And it matters so deeply to me that it does not get misunderstood with mainstream coaching, which is not the same. It's like, you're, you're getting mad at my $5 million bottle of wine, but you don't like wine. It's not for you. It's not meant for you. You don't like it. Sure, you'll drink wine if it's out of a box and just to, or if it's mixed in sangria, but you don't like wine. So, don't worry about it. Or it is for you, and there's no point making it less good just so it's less expensive, just so people who don't like wine aren't mad.

I continue. Rock bottom stories, rags to riches stories are not intended to incite people into manufacturing unnecessary stress in their lives. These stories are told to stabilize those in a state of active nervous system stress response, to offer an alternative experience of holding the pressure of this moment and not fracturing under the weight of their own fears, to see light, to stay strong, to hold faith for a different outcome. Your nervous system cannot create while in survival mode. But it can create miracles when holding true faith under pressure in a defining moment. When you deliberately put yourself into a state of crisis, you activate the biological architecture designed for emergency, not expansion. Neuroscience is uncompromising on this survival mode. It decreases creativity. It narrows your perception. It collapses long-term planning. It reduces risk tolerance, which is exactly what you need to have the ability to maintain pressure. It triggers impulsive decision making. It, it diminishes access to higher cognition, which you also need in order to maintain pressure. The prefrontal cortex, the part of you that dreams, strategizes, invents, and executes, is offline during threats. This is the whole part of you that you need in the God zone. It just shuts off. You are not building a business in the state. You are not expanding consciousness in the state. You are not creating art in the state. You are trying not to die. And yet, people are taught, "Put yourself in danger, so you're forced to act." This is nothing but trauma bonding with ambition.

The thing is, you do not need actual problems to be presented with this active state response. You do not need actual problems. Simply anticipating the problems, thinking about how painful they would be, trying to avoid them, being consumed by the possibility of them activates the stress response state. The key is to hold the pressure of the fears without fracturing into stress response. But our imagination creates versions of pain even greater than the lived experience. This is why rock bottom is often a catalyst because it's often shows people evidence that things aren't as bad as they feared they would be. Without the need for evidence, we could simply have faith that every story, including the greatest story ever told of a person who lost everything for the right reasons, for the right reasons, and reemerged greater enough. It would be enough for us to believe that things aren't as bad as what we imagine them to be. And then we wouldn't need to have the stress. We could just hold the pressure without fracturing.

So basically, we have two options. We either have the real evidence. So you go through the hardest thing that you're afraid of, and then you're shown, "Huh, how was that not as bad as what I imagined it would be?" And all of a sudden, your stress response diminishes because it's not as bad as you thought. You live the actual fear, and you realize it's not that bad. It's bad. It's terrible, but it doesn't kill you. As a matter of fact, you start getting stronger the minute you overcome it. It's kind of mind-boggling. This is why rock bottom works. But the thing is, we don't need rock bottom. If we have faith, then we can do the thing that we feel we need to do, even though we're afraid it won't work. We don't need to actually see that it not working doesn't kill us. We just trust that it's going to be fine. And if it doesn't work, we're also going to be fine. And then we don't need any of it. But we don't do that. We create active nervous system stress response. We are so stressed. Stressed we're going to fail. Stressed we're going to be not good enough. Stressed of everything. And then we put ourselves in situations where we do something that's even more stressful than being stressed.

So, for example, I'm stressed that I'm not good enough. I'm stressed that I don't belong in this group. I'm stressed that I don't belong in the world. I'm stressed that I'm not cool enough, skinny enough, rich enough. I'm stressed all the time. I think about it all the time. I think about how I don't belong because of it. That I'm not good enough. That nobody loves me. That I'm alone. That I am a loser. That I'm terrible. That I need to be more. That I need to be better. That people are of me. I'm a disgrace. I feel all of this pressure. So, I'm going to go and I'm going to put myself in a financial stress that's going to make my stress of not belonging pale in comparison. And I'm going to go do something about it because I've created an even greater stress than the stress. So, it's like I'm stressed that there is a bear coming, and that is the greatest stressor in my life, until there's a bear chasing me. Then I'm even more stressed. But at least I run real fast. Like, perfect. So, best way to outrun a bear is don't worry about the fear of the bear chasing you. Just make sure the bear is chasing you. It's the fastest way you'll ever run. We burn out this way.

What, what we're needing to face is like, our dreams not coming true is crushing to the soul, but our human will survive it, and the soul will present us other opportunities for it to happen. We will learn every chance there is, over and over again. There is no stress. No stress will lead to your dream coming true. Stress only leads you to overdo it, overgive, overpush, lose yourself, fracture under pressure. There is nothing rewarding on the other side of stress. There's only relief when you put it down. But if you learn how to know that this is important and to do what it takes and to not go into that active stress response, you can actually become powerful because power is created under pressure. But in a, in a stable environment that doesn't fracture. This is the, this is the thing. It's not the pressure that creates the power. It's the capacity.

So the work that I do with people is definitely not for them to put themselves in a state of stress to hope that they're going to move. Because the moves they make in that state are not the God's own moves. The way they behave once they've made that stressful decision is not their God's own self. The leap needs to be a leap of faith in courage to the God zone, to the mission, to the, the calling of my spirit. Not, "I'm brave and it's okay if I don't have basic human needs." It's like, my courage is attached to my greatness, not that I won't fall. It's such, it's such a tiny little shift, but one is very self-serving, and it's all about me trying to prove something, and the other one is about a bigger purpose. And if I give my advice to a person that is in a self-serving position, it's going to land differently than a person that's doing this for the world. And this is where it gets sticky.

When I was sleeping in the front seat of my car, my debit card was being declined everywhere. I had no money. The first time I got cash money in my hand, something terrible happened in my life. And I was recommended to go see an energy healer, a seer, and the appointment cost me everything I had. I chose to go and sit with a seer above food, above gas, and above shelter. If I were to go in a group of people who are there with the purpose of protecting people from pain, and I would have said to them, "What up, you guys? I'm sleeping in the front seat of a Honda Civic. I'm feeling really stressed, and I'm being told that there's a seer that lives down the street that would be able to help me find my power, but it cost me every dollar I have, and I'm going to have to go another few days without food, and I haven't eaten in a week. What do you guys think there?"

Here's the thing. In a group like AlphaFem, there's, there's going to be a wide range of people that could say a wide range of things. Some people could say, "What the heck? You're sleeping in your car. You haven't eaten in a week. Are you okay? Can I help you? Can I save you?" Some people will say, "Trust yourself. I don't know why you're feeling pulled to do that when you haven't eaten. It's nuts, but I've never been in your position." I don't know. Some people would say, "You need to go find shelter. You need to get yourself out of that car. This is dangerous." But does it matter what anyone says? Or does it matter that I make the decision that's right for me? Because if I had not made that decision, I don't know how it would have impacted my life differently. I made that decision. Is it the right decision for everybody? No. Do I tell this story so that people go and make decisions that are not right for them just so they can go one day maybe become millionaires? No. I make the decision to tell this story because I believe that the people that I am speaking to have the wherewithal to understand the energetics of why I'm telling the story, which is that sometimes our wildest dreams are on the other side of our worst moments. And it doesn't matter what pain you're going through right now. Whatever inadequacy you think you're going through right now, whatever risk you're feeling called to be taking right now, it doesn't matter if you're in the God zone in faith with yourself and you're not fracturing under the pressure.

But if you need it to work, if you need other people to be responsible for your decision, if you're not sure, if your, your soul is telling you this is going to put you in risk instead of it saying, "This is what you've got to do." I'm trying to help you figure out what's stress and what's pressure, 'cause only you know what's right for you. Only I could make that decision. And I'm realizing the thing I probably need to do with my group is people can't ask for advice in that group anymore because we don't know whether people are walking with pressure or whether people are walking with stress anymore because the group has become too mainstream. My bias about people and why they're [clears throat] in a group called AlphaFem to begin with is that they know me, they know my work, and they're there for the right reasons. But that's not the truth all the time anymore. Sometimes they're there to have someone to blame when they make a decision and a whole group told them they should. Sometimes they're there to have someone to blame when they say that they can do something and the whole group tells them to be careful, and they go ahead and do it, and then they tell the internet that the entire group didn't believe in them. It's become a place where people are using the energetics for the wrong reasons, and I don't, I don't want that. This is a group, maybe this is a space to leave declarations. This is a group to share breakthroughs, but not a place where you can get advice. Maybe that's the thing I'm realizing in this live stream needs to happen because the fact is, I don't give this, I don't give advice. I give mentorship, and I give mentorship to people who ask for mentorship so that they can survive the pressure of their dreams. I do not give advice to people who do not want to experience stress. That is the last thing on earth that I'm coded for.

I have chosen pressure every step of the way, from even from being a little kid. I've always chosen that. I've chosen the responsibility. I've chosen the bigness. I've chosen the mission. I've chosen the people I love. I've chosen the world, time and time and time and time again. Or I've gotten caught up in myself. I've needed validation. And I've done things for the wrong reasons. But like, never have I misinterpreted pressure for anything. I just didn't know that there was such a thing as pressure until I found it. But once I knew what it was, I never did something that stressed me and called it pressure. I only ever did things that stressed me and thought that was life. When I found pressure, I understood the difference. I just didn't realize that so many others have never been taught this. And now I realize it.

So here's the next post. Destructive pressure contracts. Constructive pressure focuses. The personal development world mistakes pressure and stress, but these are fundamentally different forces. Stress destabilizes. It makes you feel unsafe, overwhelmed, frantic. It's born from fear, and it compresses the system until it breaks. Pressure is supportive, directional, consensual, chosen, growth-oriented, and creates tension strong enough to transform, but not to damage. Think of a bow drawn back, tension with purpose. Think of a seed pushing through soil, resistance with direction. Think of a muscle strengthening, challenge with recovery. This is how humans grow, not through crisis, but through calibrated stress in a stable environment.

Here's the next post. Manufactured rock bottom is often self-sabotage disguised as spiritual bravery. This belief system preys on unconscious wounds. Fear of failure, fear of responsibility, addiction to intensity, internalized chaos, unhealed survival patterns, avoidance of incremental progress, longing for dramatic identity rebirths. It's easier, in a way, to destroy everything and start from ashes. It's harder and far more mature to build slowly, consciously, without theatrics. Manufactured collapse gives the illusion of transformation while actually avoiding it. Constantly repairing something you broke that you knew you could fix. To be seen, to be chosen, to be rewarded, to belong for a fleeting moment.

This is the one I want to end with because I think it's the most important one of all the ones that I've shared so far. It's easier to say, "You know what? I'm just going to be brave, and I'm going to go, and I'm going to put everything on the line." But that when you know it's a gamble is sabotage. And the thing is, if you know you're destined for greatness, you're sabotaging just because people know what you're effortlessly capable of, and you're not getting a standing ovation for the things you're doing effortlessly. Even if they're braver than what everybody else looks like they're doing, if you know they're not God's own courage, you're not getting that validation high that you get from people going, "Oh my gosh, you're so brave." So, you break things you know you can fix. You put yourself in situations you know you can get out of, and then get people to watch you do it. You ask people for advice with something you already know what to do. And then either they get to applaud you after you've said you needed advice and you did it, and they all applaud you when you actually knew exactly what you were doing and you would have been very capable of leading yourself, but you just got caught up in the matrix of it all. Or you needed people to be the scapegoat when you ask for advice, and they tell you that you can do it, and then you do it, and you fall on your face, and you say, "It was this group that told me to do it." You don't need any of it.

The difference between coaching to try to learn something that you don't know so that you can finally feel good enough about yourself and feel like you belong and that you're worthy is the longest trap. It'll last your whole life. It'll last for a moment. You'll belong for a second, and it'll feel like you need to do something else again because it's like, "What have you done for me lately?" It's not about belonging. It's about standing out, and it's about people standing out to people who are trying to stand out. It never, it never works. The people that come to me, they're either incredible people that look so incredible on the outside, and on the inside, they're just craving something real, and they need to dismantle all of this crap because they built something that looks so good, and they're in, they're in a cage inside of it. And the other people are watching that cage, glamorizing it and glorifying it, thinking, "I want to be in that cage too, 'cause it makes me look popular." You don't want to be popular. You want to be free.

So the work I do is very nuanced, but for the wrong people, you will read into the energetics of something that is so clean, and you will make a mess with it because you're trying to find the work that I do is a spiritual human experience. I talk about age-old concepts older than time, and I couple them with real lived experience that what real human beings are going through today with hundreds of thousands of hours of studying, testing, writing, case studies, discussions, conversations, reading, thinking, contemplating, meditating, trying it on in my own life, trying, getting back up again, processing myself. Like, I have taken this on like it is the, the my mission. I am a modern-day philosopher. And a lot of the clients that work with me are on the same mission. But some people aren't on the mission of being a modern-day philosopher. They're coaches. And that is a beautiful profession to have, but it is not the same. It is not the same profession. A coach is what you get paid for while you're helping your clients. A modern-day philosopher is what you do outside of every working hour. Who I am outside of every working hour. What it takes for me to even do one live stream like this for free that I will not get paid for is seven different posts that I wrote that were inadequate to get the energetics I wanted to get across for something that happened in my free group with people who are not even clients because it matters, because it matters for my mission. Most of my work is, is being done outside of what I'm actually being paid for. That's what makes what I do different.

What bothers me is that a lot of the people that are throwing stuff at my work are doing it with an immediate payoff at the end of it. And I was coaching one of my women today that was really getting in her head about like, "What do you do when people say things and when they do things that just make you so angry because it's an attack on your mission?" What do you do? And I said to her, "I question the motive. This is what I do. What's the payoff for these people to say things like this, to position things like this? What's the payoff?" And it's so clear. I look at people who vilify my way, who make it look like in me believing in a person, that's the victim and I'm the villain. And then they have this belief that that person needs saving. And then there's a link to hire them as the savior. The person who won't let you believe that you can do big things and let you hurt yourself and go too big and go to. But like, not everybody needs that. Not everybody needs to be believed in. Not everybody needs a savior. But I really don't understand why you would go into a group called AlphaFem to be saved. Don't you go into a group called AlphaFem to rise into your power? Isn't that the whole point? To be called out, to be told, "Look, are you looking to us to tell us you're incapable, or are you coming to us for us to tell you the crazy stuff we've done in order for for us to support our mission?" But wait, are you doing this for a mission, or are you doing this to be successful? 'Cause we don't know that. We don't know how to do it like that. We've only done it because it mattered in the God zone.

People weaponize my words all the time because it's self-serving to their paycheck. And it pisses me right off because I don't do this to get something. I'm doing this to create an understanding that I feel has been lacking for generations on this planet, and I've taken it on like it's my life mission. And most of the work I do is unpaid work. Once I found the words, once I've got it, once I've got the master class, once I feel like I can forge the hands of the people, once I know how to talk about it, once I'm ready to hold the container, I offer it, and people come in. And the intention of everything that I offer is for it to be the thing people are already asking for. The powerful woman who's like, "If I could just walk with someone who could hold this with me, I'd be able to do it and I appear." Not the woman who's like, "Who's going to teach me how to do it and make sure it's not my fault when I fail?" That's not my client. She's not ready yet. She can't hold the pressure of her becoming yet. But she can come to my free master classes. She can listen to my free live streams. She can read the posts I've taken seven hours to write because that is my mission. I am mission-led first. But it becomes my job when I'm actually helping the visionaries of this world, the leaders of this world, the founders, the CEOs, the greatest minds that are building the businesses and the legacies that their work and the evolution of their work and the becoming of their work depends on this work. Yeah, then it's my job. But tonight, I'm not here because of my job. Tonight, I'm here because of my passion. And I want to invite you to learn the difference between stress and pressure and to decide what it is that you want. And I want to encourage you that if you want someone to help you feel safe in your life, that you seek out a therapist or someone that is trauma-informed, someone that is actually studied how to really help people find safety when they've lived a life where they just have never found it. Don't go searching for safety in crazy big plans. It's not safety you find there. It's miracles. You don't find your safety in your standing out. These are basic things. You don't jeopardize your basic needs for greatness. But if you are put in jeopardy while you're going towards your greatness, then you can trust in the God zone. That's the difference. You don't put yourself in harm's way to test your resolve. You do your best. You take care of yourself. You follow your intuition. You care about yourself. You take care of yourself. You tend to yourself. You train your mind. You train your spirit. You train yourself. And if the God zone gives you a rocky road, then you listen to the stories about the people who've been on rocky roads before. You put your faith in the God zone. You trust that you're going to survive this moment and that you're going to be okay. You don't purposefully put yourself in harm's way to trust that you're going to be okay. You don't need to do that if you actually trusted you wouldn't put yourself in harm's way on purpose.

The goal of my work is not that you buy it to belong. It's that you, you buy it so that you stop not belonging in the rest of your life. You use it as a tool for your business, your passion, your work, your mission. You don't, it's not the thing that you buy. It's the thing that, it's the skill that you're learning. And so when it's like, "I want to buy this program, but it's going to put me in harm's way," then you don't believe that the program is the key. You believe that the program should be able to save you right now because you're not good enough, and the program can make you good enough. We're already not in the God zone. If it's like, "I don't care if it puts me two months behind on my rent, who cares, my mission's going to get closer. I know I need this." You're not even going to ask the question. You're going to buy it. And later on, you're going to say, "And P.S., there was $0 left in my bank account when I did this." And I have had clients do that. I, my, my two top clients that helped me run my programs, one of them was a single mom with three kids, and she put everything on the line to learn how to do this. Quit her teaching job and made a multi-million dollar business from her house with her three kids as a single mom. Is that my invitation for you to say, "If you want to succeed, you've got to be a single mom of three kids, and you've got to get the stress of all of that, and you need to figure it out"? No. What I'm saying is, if she can do it with all of that, you can do it if you learn how to hold pressure. Because what she learned with me is how to hold pressure.

When Jacqueline decided to come into my world and leave $12 in her bank account and spend $3,333 a month on coaching, and she ended up making multiple multi-million dollar businesses, I don't tell that story so that you give me all of your money. I tell you that story so that you understand that when you're having a low cash month, it does not wreck your ability to one day become a multi-millionaire. I tell you that story because if Jack could do it, you can do it. If it's scary for her and she does it, it's scary for you. You can do it. But only because you're going to do it, not so that you do it. I'm not telling you so that you do it. I'm telling you because you're doing it. The women that are coming into my world do not need me to sell them on their dream. I do not have the energy to sell them the program and the dream. They're coming sold on the dream, or the program is a fraction of the cost of what it cost them on a daily basis to lead their mission. They're selling me on being their mentor. "Believe in me. Trust in me. Look at my mission. This is what I'm up to." Like, they are so committed that receiving support from me is the, the thing. Like, I don't need to sell them. If I need to sell them, they're not the right people for the, for the buying of it. And I don't need them to buy it. I do it for free. You guys, I've been on this live stream for how long? And I've done two, three live streams this month and a free master class with three or four sessions in it. And I went live in it twice or three times when back when tough things happened, and I just wanted to share the behind the scenes. I offer this for people to choose it for themselves because those are the programs that I've created. Those, that's my job. Because if I'm going to spend this much time studying humankind, I, I might as well do something. It's like if a musician only plays music and never gets paid, that's a shame. And if a musician only makes money or only makes music to make money, that's a shame. But if a musician taps into the God zone with their music and becomes free and financially free and abundant, and money in their hands is good for the world through their passion, well then we're in the God zone.

Don't misunderstand my words. Don't have faith in me. Have faith in you because you're surrounded by people who show you what faith looks like. Don't have, don't trust that other people's word about faith is true. Trust that faith is real and find a way for you to tap into your own faith. Don't buy this program because you think I'm going to fix you. Buy this program because you want to discuss the things that I've been contemplating. Like you would buy a $1,000 bottle of wine 'cause you want the taste, and you want to buy a $1,000 program because you want the contemplation at this level. A bottle of wine doesn't save your life, and neither does one conversation, but it will absolutely shift it if you're already in the God zone. Don't buy the program to belong. Buy the program because you belong. Don't come into personal development to become better. [clears throat] Become into personal development because you're already developing your person and you're obsessed with the concept, and you, you're already in the God zone with it. Do it because you're in faith, not because you're hoping it will work. Do it not to prove that you can do it, but because you know you can. Do it not to become worthy, but because you were born worthy. Nothing has changed. Do it not to belong, but because you do. It's a, it's the tiniest shift, but you will imagine you're being manipulated by all of it if you think you're doing it for a reason, and it will not work. If I do this live stream for a reason that is self-serving, it will not change you. And then my whole mission falls apart. Anything you do for self-serving reasons will only go, will only go as far as yourself. What you do for the world enters the God zone.

I can hold pressure for my clients because I know that what they're doing changes the world. I will not ever hold stress with a person that is trying to do something to relieve stress from their lives. I will not hold another person's stress. It's, it's a cancer in the body. It is the most destructive thing. It's what causes us to age, to fall apart, to break down. It's what causes people to be less present, less loving, less caring, less strong, less capable. I will not hold stress, but I will hold pressure. I will stand underneath the crumbling of the world with you. If your mission can save the future, I will. But I will not hold stress of, "You need to belong and to stand out to look cool to prove that you belong." I won't do any of that. And this is what I'm being really tested with right now. My mission is being compromised by people who are entering it from the wrong reasons. AlphaFem, I want to be an AlphaFem. Cool. What's your mission?

I want to be popular. That's not a mission. I want to be seen. That's not a mission. I want to be rich. That's not a mission. Those are things that happen when you fulfill your mission.

Well, I don't know what my mission is. I just want to be seen and rich. Well, then go figure out what your mission is and come back because I can't teach you how to hold pressure on something that's self-serving. Pressure is what you feel when someone else is on the line. As soon as it's self-serving, it's stress.

So, here's the truth, the real truth. I am idealistic in nature. I am a modern-day philosopher. I contemplate humanity all the hours of the day. I am in constant testing mode with the deepest spiritual concepts. I have entered a level of faith that I am extremely proud to model and I understand that it is very difficult to access this because I live by it most of my life.

But I have found that if I'm able to bond with people in a way that like I'm just a girl on the internet, if I can be your buddy on the internet, these huge concepts become more manageable because if I can do them and I'm just me, then you can do them. But if you put me on a pedestal and you make me this big guru that's making people do things, you're so far from the power you there's just no way. The thing that makes this so magical is the fact that I'm human and I'm exactly the same as everybody else. It's just the thing that makes me tick is personal development.

And I've tested it through my own personal development. People get mad. They say they get mad when I share stories in my programs. They want me to take teach content. They want to consume my work so they can go teach it. They want to go take everything I've said. They can't take my stories. My stories are the codes. They're the lived experiences. They want to know in tangible ways so they can write it in a journal and sell it for 20 bucks later. We're not doing that. This is not something that you do with me so that you can go and sell a knockoff on it of it on the internet.

I'm not your coach. I'm not your guru. I'm none of that. I am the person you contemplate the world with. Because deep inside, it's what you long for. And when you do it, you operate greater as a human. You get out of your ego. You stop trying to make everyone think you're awesome. And you actually go do something with the world. And in return, you somehow are awesome because you were born awesome. And you stop trying to prove it. You just remembered it somehow.

I'm not interested in t in in these conversations that make people appear like they are small and incapable and they need saving. I am actually really trying to activate a world where people are brave and bold. But I understand that some people are still in nervous system dysregulation. It's just don't come here. Not now. Not yet. Go see a therapist. But definitely don't go work with the person who's going to put you in a stress response so stressful and then offer you a s a relief from that stress with a payment link.

I will show you how to hold pressure because your dream is so big that you're going to hold that pressure anyway, but it's going to fracture you if you get stressed and you want to learn how to be powerful. But I will not take the stress away. I will not make this easy. I will help you hold hard. You will be challenged. You will be pushed. You will be you will be vulnerable. You will you will be it will require everything from you. And I will hold it with you. And it is the greatest, biggest, most important job of my life. And it's expensive. And I have no shame about that because if not, just listen to me for free. I don't mind. It's my mission. But when it's my business, don't mess with my business. Don't mess with my mission. Don't mess with my business. I'm not playing.

And I'm telling you, like that group, it's on a fine line because I can create a masterpiece of a group in 5 seconds with the right people who show up. And the minute mainstream comes in, I cancel the group so that we we keep it clean. If that means I need to delete Alpha Fam, I will, but I don't want to. So, I'll have to delete people. Don't be shocked if you go into that group and use it for the wrong reasons. Take screenshots of things and post them on your page to position yourself like the Messiah to the people who need saving and you get deleted from the group because I will not tolerate that. That's not what we're doing.

People do not need to be saved by other humans. They need to learn their own power. We are constantly constantly up against ourselves in this world. That's what the challenge is. I'm against myself every second. I'm against my own anger, my own my own power, my own struggles, my own fears, my own limits. That's what I'm up against. I don't need saving from anyone. I need empowering. And so, that's what Alph is about. But if you need something different, go get it. Just don't try to break my mission to find it. This is this is a line in the sand for me.

I've never been more aware of the power of my work than I have been this year. constant messages of people thanking me for the service, the kind of team I have, the fact that we do not sell under pressure, that we create exciting experiences and we expect people's power, that we steer them away from buying, that we steer them into smaller things whenever they share fear with us when they're leading with fear or we tell them to trust themselves. This is the alpha fem way.

If you've never taken an AlphaFam program and you position yourself against it on the internet, you'll be deleted from my free group because it's very clear why you're in there and I won't have it. If you've taken a free master class and you've spun every single word I've ever said and after you've spun every word you've ever said, there's a work with me link so you can save people from me. You will be deleted and you will not be able to participate in my things anymore because you're not doing the world a service in scaring the people that I'm empowering. If you want to help people that need saving, then market saving people on your own page and let them come find you. Let us do our own work.

I hope what you got from this live stream is that you cannot manufacture chaos and create a diamond in your life. If you're meant to experience pressure, God will send it. God will send it. It will not be the kind of pressure that you choose, the kind of pressure that you put on, the kind of stress you put onto yourself and when you know you can fix it just to be seen, to be validated, to belong for an instant. It'll be the kind of test that makes you wonder if it's even worth it. And then you'll find out if it is.

You cannot manufacture stress. You cannot force yourself into maxed out credit cards and losing leaving your job just so you put yourself to work and putting yourself in a stressed state. That will not put you in the pressure state because you'll still wonder if you hadn't caused the problem, if a worst one would have come along. It won't be enough. So live in your courage. Be freaking brave. Stop trying to become so powerful that you don't need to be brave anymore. That's not the answer.

Tonight, this entire live stream is all about courage. who it's going to bother, who won't like it, who won't get it, what it'll create, what it'll do, whether people care, whether people get it, whether people understand. But in my mission, it's the only thing I could do, because the only way to get the message across is to read all seven posts and fill in all the blanks that made them not enough. So, whatever it is that you're holding in your life, if it's stressful and it's hard, just know all the rock bottom stories exist for you.

If you have a big mission, being brave doesn't mean self-sabotaging everything and making it all burn to the ground just to prove that you're willing to sacrifice. Sometimes being brave means holding the pressure of not knowing without outsourcing to someone else to tell you, "I don't know what I'm doing, but you're going to tell me." Sometimes the pressure is I don't know what I'm doing is just a thing I tell myself to not have to actually hold the pressure that I know what I'm doing and I don't want to do that cuz I'll do anything except for that. So I'd rather say I don't know what to do. So let me hire someone, spend money, do something more stressful than just sitting with the thing I know I need to do that I don't really want to do.

You're big. You're brave. You're bold. If you have a mission, you didn't come here to prove your worth with the mission. You were given the mission because you know your worth. Don't get distracted. Don't get distracted. It's trendy. It's cool to tell a sad story when you don't really have one just to fit in. You don't need it. You may be a leader of our time. You don't need saving. You don't need a villain. You don't need a hero. You need to be the one and to just choose it.

And if you do need help, then go get help. But go get it from a trained professional. Not someone who's going to save you. Someone who's going to give you the active tools to regulate yourself. Not someone that's going to shield you. Someone who's a trained professional that is going to bring facts to the table and teach you how to regulate yourself. The coaching world, it's about brave. It's about big. It's about bold. But it cannot be about self-serving if it's going to be huge. You can do something good for yourself, but greatness kicks in when it's for the world.

So, I don't know if anyone is watching. I don't know if there have been any comments whatsoever on this live stream because I am literally just speaking to myself in a camera with absolutely no knowing of how this is landing whatsoever. And there have been moments of fear and I just held the pressure. And there have been moments of anger and I just held the pressure. But I can feel the world is changing. And one of the greatest paradigm shifts is that sometimes it's the person that needs a v a villain that's the villain because it perpetuates separation. Sometimes we're just different and different can collaborate.

to whoever felt the need to create propaganda on the internet to screenshot bits and pieces of what really happened to show a narrative that doesn't depict what happened just to look like a savior. I just wonder what would have happened if you would have said, "I noticed that there's two different ways of growing in personal development. One way that's being really brave and one way that's being really cautious." And I found a really great great way to find out what's best for you. how to find out what's best for you. How to know when it's time to be brave and how to know when it's time to be cautious. I think I know that would have been supportive, but it wouldn't have been triggering. It wouldn't have been fear-mongering. It wouldn't have created victimization and fear. It wouldn't have created propaganda. It wouldn't have created chaos. And then if that's the only way you get hurt in this world, is it worth it?

So, I hope you got something out of this live stream. I'm going to go touch grass and I'll talk to you tomorrow.