Transcription
This conversation starts calm and then everything shifts. Let's break it down on choir media.
>> Hello.
>> Hi. My smoke is
>> Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
>> Hello.
>> Hi. Hi.
>> How old are you?
>> 23.
>> All right. What's your question or your issues?
>> Well, this is called more degrees, more problems. And I was a communications major. And I want to know why you talk about communications majors.
>> How long you been watching my show?
>> About about a week and a half.
>> What are most What? Okay. Okay. Hold on. Hold on.
>> What can you use a communications degree for to earn?
>> I love that question. Actually, I want to use a communications major because I see myself working with you in Atlanta, Georgia, and actually being able to intern as a transactional analyst so that I can go back to school and carry on work with my communications major.
>> That's a bunch of words.
>> And I learned so much from communications major.
>> Uhhuh. But what what how much money does communications majors tend to earn? That's why I had to quit. I don't even want to find out.
>> I don't I don't I don't understand.
>> I was a sophomore at the University of Georgia and it was a communications major that I finally declared before I quit.
>> So, you dropped out of school.
>> I was at the University of Georgia and technically I am a dropout.
>> Okay. So, I don't understand the question. You said I'm a communications major and you're asking why I say say something about
>> communications is so important in the work.
>> It's a [ __ ] degree. No. No. That's what you That's don't teach what I do at university.
>> Exactly. And
>> hold on. Stop. Stop. You got a lot to say and you don't know enough. Communications is a way to get women like you to spend money on college for something that's not going to pay you. Communications, political science, psychology, sociology, criminal justice. You
>> said criminal justice.
>> All these things are in the humanities when you should be focusing on science, engineering, technology, math, some sort of professional degree. Criminal communications, you can get that degree anywhere. And what does it do to the bottom line? I think it's so important in our community and also my
>> to do what?
>> Well, I just want to know too.
>> To do what? It's important. Okay. You think it's important, but you can't say why?
>> I can,
>> right? Because far too many black far too many of us want to sound smart when we're saying dumb [ __ ]
>> It's not It's not good. It's not a good degree. It doesn't matter.
>> I have used five tools for communications that I can list off.
>> Ma'am, you cannot go into the open work onto the open job market and command a high income. You need high income skills. Competence gets compensated. And see what you're showing is the example of good marketing.
>> Thank you.
>> No, no, no. That's a bad thing. It's a bad thing. You guys have been told that because you can string together multi-elic words that it's going to impact or do something and it won't. It's fluff. You need a degree that's going to actually give you some competency.
>> So why do we talk about bringing all these things to the table? Is that degree something we should bring to the table? Then
>> who's who said and bring what thing to the table?
>> I'm not sure if you said this, but this is definitely something that you or the people in my generation and you kind of mentioned like we like my age, we always talk about or they always ask women or they always ask a man, what can you bring to the table?
>> Those are two different things
>> cuz they might bring two different things.
>> A woman and a man are two different things.
>> I know that's right. You register your mother and father?
>> I didn't hear you.
>> You registered your mother and father in the household.
>> You say was I?
>> Mhm.
>> Yes, sir.
>> All right. So, what do you want to So, what what do you plan on doing with your life? Actually, I plan on taking the communications and not being yet graduated, learning how to use it in my own life and as well as spread it with others because like I said, those five tools are so important and they're simple in relationships.
>> Man, you keep saying these are so important. They're not even important enough for you to finish a degree,
>> right? Why didn't So, God No, no, God didn't. No, no, no, no, ma'am. I need you to stop worried about the chat room and Instagram and I understand that you're just being bubbly and trying to sound positive, but it's not making a lot of sense.
>> It has made much more sense when I quit school, when I put that degree on hold, and I am just
>> But what are you going to do with yourself? So that career path would be so
>> what career path? What career path?
>> Actually, I would love to partner with Young Nails. My name is Alexandria Young. And
>> uh No, no, no. What are you going to do? Stop trying to promote yourself and use my platform to get attention. I'm not joking, young lady. I'm seeing a woman right now, a young lady who does not know what's going on. You're 23. You didn't finish college. Are you still living at home? Do you do you have a job? Okay. Um, then what's your plan for the next step of life?
>> I actually emailed you requesting written permission for the last live that I saw you on and I would love to just take that work on
>> ma'am. Ma'am, my content is not a plan for your life. Your content is amazing. And
>> thank you.
>> But my content is a You don't have a You don't have a plan.
>> I'm also not a career woman.
>> Okay. But you still have to eat and need shelter. Who's going to provide that for you?
>> And I need to provide for myself.
>> Okay. Well, then let's turn down the bubbly. That's what I'm trying to ask you. What are you doing? It's like you're not you're not in school, you're living at home and you got and you got a lot of things to say and it sounds like dreams. That's fine, but you need some structure.
>> I agree.
>> Where's your father?
>> He passed today. 20 September 23rd.
>> He passed when? Yesterday?
>> Not this morning.
>> Sorry to hear that. Well, I I hope you um take some time to think about some of the things that
>> um communications on the surface it sounds like a something that could be very useful, but it's not something that's in high demand and
>> it's not
>> and it's easy to attain. So, something that's easy to attain has a low value. Accounting would be better than communications because at least you could do that. You could be a bookkeeper. You could do that from home. You could It's a It's a very useful skill set.
>> Thank you.
>> Um and hopefully when you have time to decompress and everything else, have some time to think, but you will need a structure for your life going forward. Even though things may be in flux right now, in the next several months, you're going to need a direction because at 23, you'll be 25 before you know it. Have a good day.
[clears throat] [clears throat]
>> Hello.
>> Hi, Kevin.
>> How are you?
>> I'm good. How are you? I am. Well, how old are you?
>> I am 39.
>> All right. So, what what's the what's the issue? What's the disagreement or the question?
>> Okay. So, I've been actually watching your show.
>> Okay.
>> I'm going to agree with a lot of things that you said like you have to be a wife to become a wife, which I did.
>> Mhm.
>> Which I did. I'm a wife.
>> All right.
>> I just recently lo I didn't even become a wife until I lost about 90 lbs.
>> Okay. [laughter] So, we didn't get married. But, um, part of the reason why I think he married me was because I lost the weight.
>> No dude.
>> Okay. But, now we're in a situation where I'm just kind of like trying to get him to care more about himself. You get what I mean?
>> I'm not trying to start over.
>> You have any children?
>> Yes.
>> How old is he? He is 38.
>> Is he You said you're married.
>> Mhm.
>> How long you been married?
>> Uh we've been married since March 28th of this year and together for 10 years.
>> All right. Is he out is he need to lose some weight as well?
>> Yes. And get healthy. Okay. I don't know how to go about um
>> Well, what does he do for a living?
>> Uh he is a truck driver.
>> Okay.
>> I'm a whole five out here. I can accept that. You know, I'm working with the five myself.
>> I I can't I can't. So, is he over the road or is he at home every night?
>> Um he's at home every night.
>> All right. So, who cooks dinner?
>> Me.
>> You got a smoke detector going on back there. be married. I don't understand that. That's that's against the protocol. Um, then change what you cook. Change what's in the house. You can't eat what's not there.
>> If you provide, if you cook the meals, do you change you change the menu?
>> Well, he eats out a lot while he's on the road.
>> But you said he's at home every night. Does he eat?
>> He's at home every night.
>> Does he eat at home?
>> Sometimes. Sometimes.
>> Okay. Okay. When he's at home. Well, all right. First thing you got to do is change the diet. Uh, and and does he not does he not want to exercise? How much does he weigh?
>> Like 260.
>> How tall is he?
>> 65.
>> It's a big dude. Um, well, you'd be amazed at what would happen, and this is outside of my scope, but you'd be amazed at what would happen if you just cut down on processed sugar. Sugar alone changes a lot. And if you cook, if you control the meals, cook differently, more water, more vegetables, less fried foods, less less things are the bliss point, salt, sugar, fat. Um, and do you guys do anything together like get up on the get up on the morning and on Saturdays and and go walking, get bikes,
>> do something together?
>> I try to do that. He works a lot, which actually gives me the privilege to be a stay-at-home mother.
>> You get me?
>> So, I try to get him to do that, but he's tired a lot. But then,
>> he's probably he's probably tired because of a diet. So, balanced diet, plant-based, more water, more vitamins, all kind. There's plenty of information out there. I mean, it's a lifestyle. You can be a you can be healthier without uh and you know, one thing begets the other, but if you if you control if you cook, just cook healthier, smaller portions.
>> And I kind of feel like it's putting a damper on our marriage because
>> your sex life
>> um that too. Well, not really that, but that's not my main concern. My main concern would be more so like just him being happy within himself. Like I had to go through process of me trying to be happy so that I can actually be happy in the relationship. And now it's like I'm there.
>> Well, this is where couples this is where couples this is where couples counseling uh starts. You've been married since March, you might as well get started now. You guys might as well learn how to learn how to talk to one another and communicate in a healthy way. start the dynamic now before before problems arise down the road because if you have these concerns and he doesn't know about them or they're not being addressed in in a healthy way.
>> He does because I
>> I get I get it may not be hearing you though. So counseling, therapy is always a good thing because you're here. You're looking for a solution. And I'm telling you that these things tend to get bigger if you don't start tackling them right now. Um, and a man can be stubborn. Fine. But if you're cooking, you can change that. You can I'll say this now. Run. Control the controllables. Have a good night. And change that smoke detector.
>> Yeah, this one really stuck with me. And I'm going to say this from the heart, not just reacting for clicks. First off is wild. How do you have a communications degree and still struggle to actually communicate? And I don't mean talking a lot or using fancy words. I mean clear, grounded, emotionally honest communication. A lot of people with those degrees are trained to perform communication, not live it. They can present, smile, posture, but when it's time to be real, they short circuit. Now, about that fake vibe. Yeah, I felt it too, but not in a manipulative way. It didn't feel like she was being fake to deceive. It felt like she was masking pain. When she told Kevin that her father just passed, man, that hit me. I actually teared up, too. You could hear the shift immediately. That constant smiling, the forced bubbliness, the overly upbeat tone, that wasn't confidence or arrogance. That was someone trying not to break down on camera. That smile was armor. People don't always grieve by crying. Some people grieve by over smiling, overtalking, overperforming. It's a coping mechanism. Like, if I keep this energy up, I won't fall apart. And honestly, that's exactly what it looked like. She was holding herself together with duct tape. So when people say, "Why is she always smiling?" Yeah, because if she stops, the floodgates might open. Losing a father messes with your sense of direction, structure, and security. Especially if he was a grounding presence. That kind of loss leaves you floating. That's why I actually felt sad for her, not annoyed. She didn't sound malicious. She sounded lost. Like she hadn't had time to recalibrate her life yet, but was being asked to explain it anyway. And I agree with you. She needs structure. Not another vibe, not another identity crisis, not more finding herself, just structure. Honestly, getting a job would help her a lot. routine, responsibility, somewhere to put her energy so she's not stuck in her head all day replaying grief. Work can be healing when your mind is spiraling. It gives you a reason to wake up, a rhythm, a sense of progress when everything else feels shaky. I really hope she finds her footing. She didn't need criticism. She needed time, guidance, and stability. And I hope she got that after the show. Because grief plus confusion is a dangerous place to sit too long. That smile wasn't fake.