Transcription
What's up, guys? Welcome back to Mental Groove. Today, we're diving into another real talk moment from Kevin Samos that's got people fired up. Make sure to hit that like button, subscribe to the channel, and hang around. I'll be breaking it all down right after the video. Let's get started.
[Music]
Well, how old are you? I'm 27. All right. So, um, I'm talking about this whole notion of cost or sacrifice. What is a man? Or did you have a question? Turn off the comments. Turn off the comments in your phone just went out. Okay. Uh, I'm talking about is a man a cost or a sacrifice or do you have a question? Can you like further? Are you single or you married? Single. Any children? No. All right. Um, I've asked a question. I've been asking a question of women. Would you be willing to quit your full-time job to work part-time for your man? Yes. All right. Would you? So, well, that already ch. So, do you want to get married? Um, I actually do eventually. Yes. Eventually. About what age? Um, in the next few years, I would say. Next few years, next three years, next five years. What? By 30, probably. Yeah. What month is your birthday in? May. So you'll be 28 in May? Yes. And do you want children after marriage? Um, yes. I would like one boy and one girl. Do you want two kids? You can't predict that. Yeah. Did you go to college? I did. But um, sorry. Did you complete college? No, I did not actually. Um, I wanted to be a psychologist, but then I changed my mind. I'm actually a barber, hair stylist. Here we go. And unmarable. Um, when I asked about marriage, why was the hesitation? Like H one day and then it turns out you want to be married in in less than two years and some change. I'm a little nervous. Why? That's probably why there was hesitation. Why? Um, I don't know. I don't know why you ladies feel like that's a that's a that's a sufficient answer. That's your biological clock. You're about to slam pace first into the wall. How long's your longest relationship? Two years. When did it end? Um, a year ago. Who ended it? Um, it was mutual. No, it's never mutual. It's never mutual. So, either we're going to have a real conversation or I'm just going to come on. It's never mutual. Who ended it? Um, it actually, it actually was mutual. Um, it's never mutual. Yeah. Never mutual. Mhm. See, I'm already seeing the issue here, but I don't know if you see it. What's the issue? Oh, no. No. We do it my way, not yours. It's never mutual. Who ended it? I mean, we were the likelihood of you and Roger coming to the house on a Thursday at 5:00 and saying, "You know what? You know what? I think we should end it." And y'all on the same page at the same time. That's mutual. No, there's a there's a problem. There's a breakup. There's Come on. Yeah. I mean, we were just like arguing a lot and like we just both decided that. How many times did you guys break up before you the final breakup? A couple times. How many times? Yeah. It was kind of like. How many times did you cheat at all? I never cheated on him. You never had sex with another man? Uh, no. Have sex with another woman? Uh, no. You never uh gave your number to a man and DM'd? Um, the only time I did that was with clients. Um, so, so, so if you were when they wanted to come in. So, if you were in a happy, committed, monogamous, fulfilling relationship, you mean to tell me your text messages with your ex would have stood up to him just going through and looking at them? It It didn't really have much to do with that. I mean, I'm just saying, ma'am, you know what I'm saying is women often think cheating is having sex and you guys often flirt with men. Yeah, I have men up on deck and everything else. I'm I'm not new to this, but at the end of the day, we move forward. You're 28. You're you're a barber. Yes. Seriously, he was intim he was definitely intimidated by my job. That's for sure. He didn't like he didn't like the fact that, you know, I was cutting men's hair. I think that kind of. How old was he? Uh, two years older than me. What do you do for a living? Insurance. Okay. We'll come back to that one. Um, okay. But if you had to say in 28 chronologically, how would you say you're emotionally? Um, I don't know. I would say a lot of people tell me I'm mature for my age. Okay. Or 28. Yeah, probably. Really? Or like, yeah. 28, man. In 1940 or 1950, you would have been married and probably had three or four kids by now. Mhm. I You said I don't know to major things five, four or five times. So, the people who are telling you mature must be in junior high. It's not an insult, man. But I'm just I ask I'm asking you important developmental questions. First, I ask you about marriage. I don't know. Maybe one day, future. And it turns out you want to be married by 30. That's two years. I just feel I feel like there are some things that I want to work on mentally um before I get married. Um, that's fair. I've I've been through a lot. So, I want to. What's the purpose of marriage in your opinion? Um, companionship, um, security. Buyer for companionship, alarm system, security. Mhm. Family. Yeah. Children. Are you prepared to be somebody's wife and their mother and somebody's mother? I think that I'm still working on myself um emotionally and mentally. Definitely. Answer is no. Yeah, I'm not ready yet. All right. So, are you in therapy now? Um, no. I'm not in therapy, but I listen to podcasts, self-help books. No, podcasts don't do [ __ ]. You need therapy. Therapy because, man, let's start from the let's start from the beginning. The clock. Yeah. Women, the clock makes decisions for you guys. And at 30, so like let's say let's say you were emotionally mature and ready and you met a guy who wants to be married, marriage-minded, your kind of guy. How long do you think from meeting him on day one do you think it should take before you're engaged? Um, I would say a year. And how long for being engaged before married? Uh, I wouldn't want it to be that long. So, maybe like two years. Two years in engagement. Is that Is that what I'm hearing? Two years of engagement. Um, yeah, actually, yeah, two years. Okay. So, a year before you engaged, two years engaged. Mhm. Buy a dog, die alone, that's three years, man. Oh, no. I mean like two years. Like the first year would be engaged and engaged for another year to plan, you know, everything. Okay. That's why I asked twice. But either way, that's still two. That's still two years. What do you need to be with somebody a year and engaged for a year? Are you going to be paying for your own way? Are you going to do it uh justice a piece or you going to have a wedding? Um, I definitely want a wedding for sure. Your mother and father got the money to pay for that? Uh, my dad, he's an engineer. Your mother and father have the money to pay for that? Well, my mom's not around. But your father, you're the only child? No, I have two younger brothers. So, your father's going to pay for your wedding? I've never talked to him about that, actually. So, the answer is uh I'm If I asked him, he. So, if your father doesn't pay for it, who's going to pay for it? Um, see, these are grown-up questions. Yeah, I know. I mean, I guess I want to get I would have to I guess my husband or his family. Yeah, that's not his responsibility. Yeah. You're a modern woman. You're not a wife. You You make decisions based in fear, scarcity, and lack. I mean, come on. If I met a perfect guy, the right guy, uh, it's going to at least be two years before I'm married because I want who to see you get married? Your clients? No. Who? Your mom ain't going to be around. Who? Your family? No, it's for me. It's for your ego. Do you make Why do you say that? Do you make enough money to afford the kind of wedding you want? No, definitely not. Then what the French toast are you talking about? See, that's what I wanted to show you guys. This not a black woman thing. This is a modern woman thing. You average ass women have have these fanciful visions. You're not a wife and you want some guy who's to wait for you to to to be perfect on day one while you're in process. Cool. But two years is too long. Then he has to pay for a wedding to impress who? Well, I mean, if I wanted a wedding, I'd probably ask my dad for that. What about the children, family, and everything? See, this is what I mean. Women today want weddings. They don't want marriages. They are worried about impressing other women. This is insane. I mean, that's not necessarily true. I mean, I guess it would have to also be a discussion between me and my fiance. It's like a discussion between the bank. You don't make enough money to pay for this. Yeah. How much do you think a a wedding would cost? I don't know exactly. I know it's a lot of money. I don't know how. So, you would take that away from your family and your house? Um, I mean, isn't it isn't that traditional? Like traditional? You're not a traditional woman. Are you a virgin? No. You're not a traditional woman. And I'm saying this, man. You women want traditional outcomes, weddings, white dresses, and your schizophrenic psychotic non virgins with trust issues. Interesting. Not interesting. You can't afford to pay like most women, you can't afford to pay for the lifestyle you want. So, a man is going to have to step into it. Either your daddy or your husband's family. I wish if you had a man who was a thorough man, what you want us to pay for wedding with you, [ __ ] girl, go find another woman. Something wrong with her. I don't know. I'm still working on myself financially and emotionally and mentally. So, what's the But first thing I asked you for the marriage about, you said companionship. Oh yeah, like partnership. There's no. Can't make this [ __ ]. I mean, I would love to build an empire with the man I'm with. Build an empire, lady. You cut hair for a living. Yeah. I mean, I have empire empire. What? You cut? I have other goals like real estate and. Oh, Jesus. She said it. Real estate, right? Why? Real estate. She's the She's the She's the stylist. The The hair stylist with the real estate. You can't make this [ __ ]. I want an empire. An empire. Really? How much you How much of an How much of an empire would you make annually? How much you think you'd be making annually? You and your h you and your husband together, how much you think you'd be bringing home in this empire? Um, it depends on the man. I mean, it depends on his job. But you got the empire. When you got the empire, when it's what you want, the empire, how much? I don't know. Maybe like 100, 200. 100, 200 as an empire. I mean, it can start there and it could always. No, no, no. The empire empire is on $100,000. Yeah. What state do you live in? New Jersey. $100,000 in New Jersey. Well, no, gonna be a lot more than that. Maybe like in the government.
[Music]
Entrepreneurs, the Lord, wealth, empires, man. You do hair, you cut hair, you're a barber. Okay. You're not paid. You're in New Jersey. Sound like you're right along the modern path, but you want a man who's a husband to delay starting his life with his wife for two years. So you can have some wedding that you can't afford to pay for, your family ain't going to pay for. So, your father has to take out of his retirement or your husband is going to have you're going to have to go into debt for it. Then you want an empire, you're going to start off with wedding debt. And who's going to attend this wedding? Who are these people you going to impress? Cuz we're talking $10,000 on the low end. Yep. And what I'm saying is modern women have been fed this Disney fantasy to where you just sit there like, "Well, that's what I want. That's what I want." And do you realize that you throw you go out on the streets of New Jersey and look to your left, look to your right, all the single women want the same thing you are, but you're not virgins and you're not wives. and not even not even emotionally ready for real relationship. Yeah, I've been through a lot that I need to work on emotionally. That's fine. That that's fine. That's fine. But if you were a vehicle, okay, even if you were a Ferrari, if you had the thing, could what kind of price could you put on it with all the stuff? on the stuff you. No, if you were a car, what kind of P? If you were a car, let's say you were a Mercedes. Okay, let's say you were a 500 series Mercedes, but with the stuff you've been through, what price would you put on a 20? What price would you put on that Mercedes? Damn sure can't be factory new. Um
[Music]
I don't know because I think I think I have a lot to offer. Thank you. That Thank you. I was waiting for it. They never want to lower their price. No, I don't. I don't think I'm. You are human. You're 28 and you're damaged like us all. You can't get You can't get brand new prices. You said you think I'm brand new, but Okay, but Okay. What? Okay. My point is women never want to settle. They never want to lower their v their price to match what they are. You have a lot to offer. So this what you tell a buyer. Hey, this this Mercedes has been involved in an accident. We straightened out the frame. We fixed the transmission. We we we we painted it now. And they show you a a car that was damn near total before and after and said brand new. This car is $95,000, but we'll give it to you for $88. You'll be like, "Uh, I see all this damage." Yeah, but it's fixed and it has a lot to offer. What it didn't show you is it had low miles or it had been driven a certain way. Man, you got damage and miles and you want a high-end lifestyle. Why would a man who can afford to have an empire? Choose that as a way. Well, even if I'm working on myself like emotionally. So what? You can go get a 22-year-old who don't need work. Well, I'm not gonna date or I'm not gonna be in a relationship unless I'm I'm ready mentally. I'm not gonna expect the man to, you know, wait. What did I tell you guys? I tell you ladies better learn something real quick. You better be prepared to meet a man at his level. Ma'am, at 29, at 28 years old, you're getting older. You're already in the category and the Chinese will call you leftover women. Do you have what kind of leverage do you have in the in the dating marketplace to demand a high price even if you got yourself mentally together? Mhm. What's the leverage? I mean, I'm in great shape. I'm sweet. I, you know, I'm kind. Is that un Is that abnormal in a dating world? Is that I think those are. I'm sorry. Is that special? Um, I think there are other people out there that, you know, have a lot to offer as well. What I want you to understand is you need to start. This is why the sexual marketplace value really pricing yourself appropriately. Y'all look at yourselves and you guys give yourself the benefit of the doubt and want to keep your price as high as possible. And ma'am, you're in New Jersey, tri-state area, there are a lot of people up there and yeah, you're going to have to adjust your price for the market. How many kids would you want if you had children? Did you say two? A boy and a girl, I would say two. Do you want to have to work after you're pregnant with your first child and married? Um, I mean, I would love to be like a stay-at-home mom and take care of my kids. Okay. How much would a man need to make in New Jersey to have a stay-at-home wife? Um, so I'm just going to go based off of how I grew up. My dad being an engineer, my mom was a stay-at-home mom. Um, they had three kids. Uh, I would say like 200. How much is your rent? Uh, right now I am moving, so it's 14. Okay. Um, you want to live in a house or an apartment? A stay-at-home mom. Mhm. House. Um, yeah. Let's just say 200. Let's just say 200. What percentage? I'm going based upon, you know, how I. Well, that's fine. But what percentage of men in this country? What percentage of men in this country make $200,000 or more in the country? Um, I don't really know the statistics. Just guess. Maybe like 10%. 10% of men make 100,000. You're talking about around 5% of men, 5 to 3% of men. And I'm being extremely cons. I'm being extremely generous with the numbers. What would a man in the top three to 5% of earners who arguably most women would want because they would want a stay-at-home lifestyle, what do you think he would want from a woman with that type of money, with that type of income? Um, respect, uh, kindness, um, love, cooperation. Yeah. What's the most what uh your last boyfriend? How long you said the relationship lasted? That was for two years. But that was not that was not a healthy relationship. What did he do for a living? Insurance. And how much did he make annually? Um, I think it was like 60, but he's still working on himself financially. I had my six and my 63. Ma'am, have you ever dated a man making more than $75,000 a year? Um, yeah, actually. Seriously? Seriously? I have. Seriously, dated? Seriously? Yeah. What age were you? I was younger. I was 20, 22. How long did How long did you date him? That was also for two years, but it was Yeah. Ma'am, why do you think you get a men making twice as much or three times as much older? Can you repeat the question? Why do you think you get a man making two to four times as much when you're older? This is how women I feel I feel like think of it this way. Women look at it. I'm older. I make more money. I'm more experienced. My income has gone up. So you guys think your social market sexual marketplace value should go up. When you're older, more used, more damaged, you're not your 21-year-old self. Yeah. It needs to come down. If your last man making was making 60, that's about what you can expect. 50 to 60. That's your man. And if that's and and if you find a man making 50 to 60, if you got married, you'd have to work full-time with two kids. Is it worth is it worth getting married and having two children if you got to work full-time like you do now for the rest of your life? You got to work just as hard as you working now. You can't take a break. You gotta you gotta work because you got two mouths to feed. Is it worth it? I feel like I feel like that would be a little bit of a struggle. I would want to be there for my kids. She said it. Yeah. Women today want to be luxury married or single. You guys are so [ __ ] lazy. Like I said, this isn't a black thing, folks. This is a modern thing. You heard it. I put the question, you got to work like you do today, and you're willing to do that. But in order to enhance your life with a a husband, a mate, someone to chronicle and walk through life with you, and you would get two children, that is not enough of a benefit. You didn't hear us say, "Well, yeah, I'm going to have to work anyway, right? But I get a husband and kids. Sure." No. I get a husband and kids. I'm supposed to have to do less or No, ma'am. I know what I heard. If if I'm going to have a husband, he needs to lighten my load. That's insane, man. Where are your people from? I wouldn't say that. Ancestrally. I'll let you. And where are your people from? What do you mean? Ancestrally, where are your people from? Oh, they're from Italy. Okay. Um, turn of the century, turn of the century, Little Italy from 1880s to the 1910s. Italian immigrants, uh, those women had multiple children. Were they working in those tenementss? And those. Come on. Were those women working? Come on, Sopranos. And look at you. You're average at best. Come on. Come on, Meadow. You know what I'm talking about. Italian women worked. Yeah. And they had more kids and they built the family. You want to be Carmela up in this [ __ ]. I don't want to have to work. Tony, go to work. No, you're going to be Arty Buo's chick. You're going to be the major deal. Huh? That's not true. I want to financially build myself up as well. I mean, oh my god, you're a barber. Why? Why? Adriana, you're a barber. You're you're you're a barber girl. I'm No offense, man. You're a barber. I mean, I'm trying to get into real estate. So, how? That's fine. You know how you know if I had a man sitting here talking about I'm a barber, but you're not getting into real estate. You're going to You know, you don't You're not tuned in to the punchline of the jokes because you. This is real. They really believe that they can they can get into real estate. Uh, Miss Henry, listen to what I'm saying. They really believe that they can get into real estate. That's why I was telling these women, that's why I talk about the attorney and the realtor. It's real estate, some sort of entrepreneurialism, which is the magical voodoo that's supposed to elevate them from middle class to luxury or rich lifestyle. But you said at the end of the day, Lyn, that if a man can't like if a man if it's going if I have to work as much or more than having a husband and children, it's worth it. I'd rather be single. Thank you for being honest. But that makes you a modern woman. So I mean, not necessarily true because I'm thinking about the struggles that mothers. Well, it doesn't matter. How many I mean, 70, 73% of mothers in this country work fully part-time. So, I don't know why you modern ass women feel like you should all be staying on wives when you didn't get married at 19 and a virgin. Shut up. Not necessarily that, but I would like to be at home. And I don't care. I get I get what you would like to have to do, but you didn't choose that life when you were young. You didn't choose that life when you're young and virginal. You can't do that at 30 and want your price. You could have did that when you were 18 to 22. You can't do it now. We won't do it. Men won't do it. Your head is cut off. It's just not going to happen. And men are like, "Why should we pay virgin young virgin bride prices for women who are at the wall? Y'all don't even try to make fair deals." So, here's the marketplace. This men think like I do. Shout out to my Italian brothers because I know they think like [ __ ]. Forget about it. I know I. Anyway, if you don't get married, okay, are you going to have your $2.4 million that you're going to need to retire on from age 65 to 85? 2.5, 2.4 million cash. Not in investments, not in cash. You're going to need that. Mhm. They gonna have it. I don't know. No, you're not. Cuz you cut hair in bar. Because if you could be a barber and make that kind of money, I'd want to be a barber cuz it's low. Well, what if I invest in real estate and and make. Where's the money going to come from to invest in real estate, man? Um, well, I have an inheritance. Okay. So, your daddy. How much of an inheritance are you talking? Oh, I I already have an inheritance. My. How much inheritance you talking? Um, seven figures, six figures, eight figures. About 80,000. That's not a lot. Yeah, it's not a lot. It's not a lot. Okay. And this is why I focus on the fact that this is a modern woman problem. You ladies have been separated from us as men and you guys wanted to be independent to make your own decisions and now you're out here with no long-term plan, no real financial literacy, and y'all talking buzzwords. Cryptocurrency, real estate, investment, stocks, and that ain't your real life. Um, what what's maybe six companies you're invested in? Maybe six Fortune 500 comp. What are you invested in right now? Oh, no, I'm saying invest in real estate like properties like when I haven't started. Okay. Okay. So you're talking about flipping. I haven't started yet. So this is why when I did that show the Lion's Den and I said there's no such thing as free money. Real estate is supposed to work this way. I take cash and I go invest it in real estate and it's a it's a casino machine and I put in cash and out comes profit. There's no cost. There's no loss. Then I'm supposed to take it and flip it. It's supposed to be better than the the dope game. Man, it sounds crazy. If people if if I could if you could take $80,000 and turn it into this, you know how many people will go out and get 80 grand and invest in real estate if it was just that simple. All my realtors and all my people who have property, I own property. I talk to it's not it doesn't work this way. But it's the thing that's been told to women. You can invest in real estate or property or crypto du like there's no cost to this stuff. Like it's just I take it there and out comes magic. No, that's not really because I'm I went to school for real estate like to be a real estate agent. I mean, that's my way of building that that money up. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So it's going to. Well, if that's a if that's the case, I want you if that's the case, then I need you to just go through IG and go through LinkedIn and see how many women who are realtors and see how many of them have two point have $2.4 million retirement. Man, and I'm trying to be as delicate, but you won't. This is a This is This is This is why I could speak about this so well. They really believe this stuff. I got a real estate license, and it's which is a license to just print money. You're a barber. You're a barber. And my my point is, if you ladies and women like yourself don't figure out how to come into agreement with the man that's on your sexual marketplace level, lower your standards, make a good deal, and stay in relationship. We should have no sympathy that you end up homeless. Elderly and homeless, you are still at the age to where you still have a chance to get your [ __ ] together. And for you, just like most women, it means a husband and being a wife to him and making children for both of you and learning to work with a man and be with him for a lifetime. You're not a 10%, 3%, 1% earner. You're a middle-class earning woman. Yeah. You can't be free separated. You need a man and you better do something about it before you hit 30 because especially on your side of the planet after 30 the numbers start to change. At least over on here, a lot of sisters like Black not Crack. Well, [ __ ] changes on your side. The wall is real. And I don't know if you date out. Do you date? Do you prefer your husband to be Italian? Um, no, not necessarily. Was your last boyfriend Italian? No, he was uh he was Spanish. He wasn't Italian. All right. Well, my point is people in the middle have always had to get together for survival. Mhm. Even your even even Italian Americans, you had to family. You can't survive out here by yourself. You make enough money to invest in real estate. $80,000. All it takes is another pandemic or a downturn or 2008 when we had a financial crisis. You lose all your money. Then where you gonna go? Family, man, is your protection in this system. Where in the world, I'm going wrap it up after this. Where in the world, in the animal kingdom or whatever, do you see solitary single females surviving and thriving by themselves? Single solitary females in nature surviving by themselves. I would say just the ones that make a lot of money in nature. The animal kingdom. Yeah. Oh, no. Not at all. No. No. Yeah. Right. You're not meant to be by yourself. You're meant to be the support system. The help me. Mhm. So, all right. Appreciate it. This was a good conversation. Two two long ones were two good ones. She's 27, still young, still figuring things out. But when Kevin Samuels asked her the most basic question, do you want to be married? Her answer, I'm not sure. Kevin pauses, then asks, why not? And she says what too many modern women say, "I don't know."
[Music]
Kevin wasn't rude. He wasn't harsh. He was honest. Because women today are taught to float through their most fertile, most desirable years, wasting time, avoiding decisions, and living in "I don't know." But men, especially men of value, aren't lining up to wait for women who aren't sure. Kevin always said, "Indecision is a decision, and most women decide too late." At 27, a woman should know what she wants. Marriage isn't just a concept. It's a strategy. It's about future, family, structure, legacy.