Transcription
When We're Young, we think that being single is a problem, and that we need to find some way to fix it. And so we go out into the world, and we try to find some girl to fill that void that we believe we perceive needs filling. And we inevitably, we'll just settle for the first girl that'll take us into her her life. Maybe her bed. And we will try to morph ourselves into whatever she needs us to be in order to fill that void, so that not only in our own mind but also in the eyes of everyone around us, we are accepted; we have been accepted as men in the world because we have this relationship. Well, that is such—it is unbelievable.
If you're a single guy like me, there are certain skills that you need to develop in order to be happy as a single man, because our whole society is built around the idea that men need to fill this role in the lives of women. It's like we've been raised to be men that serve women in this feminine society that we we live in. And being a single man means that you're living outside of that society, and it can feel awkward; it can feel really tough at times to to be comfortable in this position, because everyone kind of looks at you like there's something wrong with you. And there's not—trust me, there's not anything wrong with you at all. However, in order for you to settle into this role and to feel comfortable and excel at it, you're going to need to have a handful of skills to um to succeed, and that's what I want to talk to you guys about today.
So the first thing you're going to have to do is you're going to have to make a decision about being single. You can't just be be be single by default; you've got to actually choose to be single. If you're just single by default, it means that you're kind of in this gray area where you're like, well, I'll be single until something else comes along, or I'll be single until, you know, I get really horny. And no, that's that's really not the way to go about this. You've got to really dedicate yourself to being single and be really good at it. Because I think if you're really good at being single and you become the best man that you can, at some point in the future, if you decide to take on a woman, if you decide to go back in that direction, you can do it from a completely different position, rather than going into it and from a subservient standpoint. You can go into this relationship um with a level of authority, and you can be much more clearheaded about what you want and what you're willing to put put up with, and um what you're willing to give and how you want that relationship to be. But so long as you are, you know, going under, you know, life 1.0, where you have been indoctrinated into this feminine world that we live in and you live this subservient role, holding women up on a pedestal and treating them like they're some kind of special animal, you're going to suffer, and it's very likely that you're going to end up in a relationship that fails, that will probably lead to divorce, um that will probably lead to you being financially ruined, and at one point, some point in the future, feeling really sad in watching my videos about how to get over divorce.
So you've got to make that clear decision in your head: I am single, and I'm going to be single for a period of time; maybe even just set a goal for yourself, like for the next 5 years, I am just going to be the best me I can be; I'm just going to be the best man that I can be. Because the wonderful thing about being a man is there's no biological clock; you can get somebody pregnant until you're like 90 years old. So you don't have to get things done now; you can start to create the best version of yourself and be the man that you want to be before you enter into a relationship. And that way you don't have to submit; you can be the person that um you bring her into your frame, and you lay down the the uh the parameters and the um boundaries of what this relationship is going to be, and um you'll be much less likely to find yourself in a position where you're you know you're losing in the long run.
Your number one priority as a single man is to prioritize your peace of mind above all other things. Get that clear in your head: your peace of mind. That means that your state of mind, the calmness that you bring to life and the uh lack of emotional swings, is the single most critical element to your existence. If you can get that part under control, then everything else kind of falls into place. And let me give you some examples of what I'm talking about.
So you know, we live in a very um clickbaity world, where you know, TV news, politics, um all of it is very clickbaity; they try to get your eyeballs, and in order to get your eyeballs, they are going to say things that are designed to inflame your emotions. They want you to become upset, angry, um offended. And you've got to watch for that. When you see on TV, on the news, regardless of what news channel you watch, when you see that stuff designed to get you all fired up and upset and blaming the other group, blaming the politicians, blaming the Democrats, blaming the Republicans, blaming Trump, blaming whoever—it doesn't matter—it's all designed to disrupt your peace of mind, and your peace of mind is your number one thing. So you got to ignore it; you got to just put that out of your mind, because that stuff is just designed to make you emotionally triggered, and that emotional triggering um disrupts not just your initial peace of mind, but it trickles down into every aspect of your life. So don't watch it; don't let it trigger you; don't get engaged with it; um it's insidious; it will pull you in; it's like a drama. Don't be like that. Women are like that. You do not want to be like a woman. Women get triggered; they get emotionally dramatic; they get pulled into these dramas, and they they overreact to it. Don't be like that; do not let yourself turn into a woman and allowing yourself to get emotionally triggered over politics or or anything; it's just just not worth it.
The only exception I will make to this is the temporary level of emotional up and down you might feel during a sporting event. I'm okay with that, because it's just a temporary thing, and you know it's an illusion; it's just all crap; it's just pure entertainment, and you can allow that to just kind of roll off your team wins, your team loses; there's there's a certain amount of um, you know, excitement and fun you get from your team winning, but if you've got a loser team like you like the Jets or the Browns, you know, you can kind of wear that identity too. I mean, there's even a little bit of, you know, um honor in, you know, following a team that that sucks. I've been there, trust me, but you know what I mean—just don't let yourself get pulled into the emotions of the day-to-day events that we are living in right now.
The next thing you need to do is you need to identify the things in your life that give you peace of mind. So your home—you know, what is it about your home that helps you experience peace of mind? You know, you have a man cave; you have a place where you can go; you have, you know, things that you like to do: video games, pool table, um having friends over—whatever it is, you got to create a space for yourself in your home that makes you feel really really good; it gives you a feeling of um I don't know, comfort, peace—whatever. You just need to know that that's there. You need to identify activities that encourage you to have peace of mind, and at the same time, you need to identify activities to disrupt your peace of mind, to the best of your ability. You need to emphasize those things that give you peace of mind in your life, and you need to remove those things or deemphasize those things that cause your peace of mind to be disrupted. So if you're at a job that you just hate, that you just hate everything about it, then you've got to put together a plan to get out of that; you just cannot continue to allow that to completely destroy your peace of mind. Um, if you're not making enough money, since you're going to be on your own now for the next few years—I say at least three years, maybe even five years—you need to put together a plan to address that issue; you either need to reduce your lifestyle, or you need to, better yet, make more money. We live in the United States of America here, and um one of the wonderful things about living in the United States is that we have endless opportunities. There is—if you can't make it here financially, you can't make it anywhere. This is the easiest place on the planet to become rich. So find a thought, find an idea, find a concept that you can use to increase your income and start stashing away that money; start um putting money in the bank and investing and building your your war chest, because having that pile of money will give you peace of mind, because it gives you freedom. Money in our society is equal to choice; it's equal to freedom, and um it's an investment in your future. So you're going to get peace of mind by doing something that you enjoy more now, something that pays you more money; um maybe you start a business; maybe you um get engaged in an activity that is uh more profitable, and you're going to um stash away lots and lots of money, and I guarantee you you'll notice your peace of mind improving significantly. You know, buy a better house, live in a nicer neighborhood, buy a nicer car—whatever you need to do to make you feel good about yourself, do it, because every little tiny piece that you put together and this puzzle is going to support that person that you're going to be in the future, because you're creating this um best version of yourself one piece at a time, and it starts with um that peace of mind all the way through this entire that this entire entire process.
Once I broke free of the idea that I needed to have a woman in my life, and I found that I was happy without her, it was revelatory; it was like, oh my God, why would I—is I thinking that I needed to have this other person in my life all this time in order to achieve some level of happiness? And that's sort of the next thing I want to talk to you about is you got to be happy. So the first one is you got to have your peace of mind; peace of mind is critically important to prioritize in your life. The second one is your happiness, and that's where all of your interests and your hobbies come into play. You've got to be able to um wake up every day and feel a constant state of contentment and find pleasure in your day-to-day life without a lot of external stimulus. And as opposed to—I mean, thinking about the contrast—having a sad, miserable, whiny um person who needs my constant attention and stimulation in order to be happy—yeah, having that pulled away and relieved from it was just like—it's like when I take the dogs off the leash and they can suddenly run around—you know, I can see that they're just free, and they just love it, and that's what it's like.
The next thing you got to do is you got to eliminate self-destructive behaviors. So you know, if you've got a drinking problem or a drug problem or whatever you find yourself leaning on substances from time to time to make you feel better, get through the day, whatever it is, get through the week, you got to get rid of that now. I'm not against some recreational fun, you know, from time to time—definitely, you know, you're hanging out with your friends, whatever—you're watching a game; you're you're out, you know, with someone you care about—definitely don't don't hold back, but don't allow substances to replace your inherent or your um natural peace of mind, because it creates the illusion sometimes that we're happy when in reality we're just drunk, you know, and you don't want to be in that state; that's not beneficial to you, and it will eventually blow up in your face; it'll destroy your health; it'll destroy your mental health; it'll um, you know, leak out into other parts of your life; it's not it's not a good substitute. So get rid of self-destructive behaviors, and that includes overeating and having poor making poor lifestyle choices. So if you're overweight, um certainly if you're obese, you got to get that under control, because that's going to blow up in your face; you—that's not a free ride; yeah, being fat is not a um uh a peace of mind solution; it just isn't. Don't look at food as a uh form of entertainment; food is sustenance for your body; use it as as sustenance for your body; eat to your full; eat nutritious food; um keep yourself healthy; maintain a low a a normal body weight; be physically active; keep your body strong, because the last thing you want to get sick and die—you know, get diabetes, high blood pressure, have a heart attack, develop cancer—none of that going to work in your favor, you know, and if you're always worried about your your health because you're overweight, well, you can't have peace of mind; simple as that. You've got to have peace of mind, and in order you get peace of mind, you've got to get every aspect of your life in order, and that includes your health.
The next thing you got to do is you've got to decide for yourself if you are a spiritual person or not. You can't play this both ways; you can't stand in the middle on this one; you've got to commit one way or the other to some form of spirituality or not. And what I mean by that is either you believe that there is something more to this life than what we see and experience on a daily basis in this physical world, or you believe this is it. So if you believe this is it, then you're an atheist, and you need to play your life from that perspective. But if you believe that there's something—whether you're of a particular religious, you know, um belief system or tradition—um or you're more agnostic and you just believe there's something but you're not sure exactly what it is—it doesn't matter—but if you have a spiritual uh underpinning, it's important, because from a spiritual perspective you can see the logic of life being a classroom or a process of continuous growth. And so as you make your way through life, personal development and becoming a better version of yourself at every level is not just important to you in the here and now, but perhaps important to your your soul, your spirit, your you know, Atman, whatever it is that comes next; it is um is part of this evolution of you as a as an entity. Now if you happen to be a um an atheist, I think you you can take some of the same characteristics and say, all right, well, I just need to be the best version of myself for myself in the here and now; um I don't think it's quite as powerful, quite honestly, and I don't understand atheism, because um I don't see anything to lose in being a spiritual person. So as a spiritual person, and you push yourself to evolve to become a better version of yourself constantly, and you believe that there is something bigger than you in the universe, and that you're going to benefit from all of these lessons, this classroom that we call life, um it just takes on a whole new meaning. And when you die, hopefully your soul, spirit, whatever, moves on to the next level or moves on to um whatever comes next. There's nothing to lose in that belief system, um while as an atheist, there's nothing to gain from being an atheist; I just—and maybe I'm wrong, and maybe if you guys want to—if you're atheists in the comments you can tell me what you think that that what you gain from a lack of belief in a spiritual nature to humanity or to um to uh to life—then I'd love to hear it. But I think it's critically important that you identify yourself as one or the other, and then especially if you're a spiritual person, decide how this personal development fits into your spiritual life and um and move forward with it.
You know, I think that uh focusing on your personal development and becoming a better person, and I mean through um all those traditional things that we think about when we think about what it means to be a better person—being more generous, more giving, more thoughtful, more um caring, even, you know, for people that we disagree with, you know, just having patience with them, um you know, just really uh being the best version of yourself—you know, at the end of the day, that's really what it comes down to, and it's not just about money, and it's not just about physical um uh health and that sort of thing, but it's also about your development as a uh as a man and on a spiritual level, you know, your development as a soul, to become the best version of yourself.
Now you need to talk about your lifestyle. So how do you see yourself in the world? Start with where you want to live. I mean, are you like a guy that wants to be out in wilderness? Like you like it outdoors? Then go to a place where you can be outdoors on a regular basis. Now I find the outdoors extremely um beneficial, but I also know that I need to live near other people in order to make a living, because I'm a health coach, and I need people who will come to me and pay me a lot of money to do this. So um I live in an area that that is suburban, but it's also rural enough that I can find little enclaves like this to get out and to to get into nature. But maybe you're even more natural than that; maybe you want to be like in Wyoming or Montana or West Virginia or, you know, someplace where you are exposed or out in nature much much more often, and you have fewer people around you. Just this morning, as I was coming out here, just getting the privacy of having the the spot to myself without other people on their dogs running around and women talking on their phones—it's a little annoying, you know, it really is; it makes me want to go to Wyoming or someplace, you know, just to get away from it. But you know, my family's here, so I do enjoy it here, but my point is, decide where are you—where do you see yourself living? Are you a desert guy? Are you a tropical guy? You want to be like in Hawaii or Florida or California? You know, um where do you see yourself fitting in? Find that place, because there's something about being in that place where you feel naturally at home and building your life there. Um, if it means for older guys leaving the country and going to have adventures in places like Thailand and the Philippines and meeting, you know, these Asian women, if that's something that that turns you on, then definitely go there and do that, but that—you've got to you got to make these decisions; be decisive and just do it; just, you know, commit to it and move forward. Don't allow yourself to get stuck in these gray areas where you're constantly trying to decide this or that or this or that; just make a decision and move forward with it; have faith that you're headed in the direction that um is best for you in the long run.
I guess what I'm saying here is you need to honor your authentic self and build on that to the best of your ability. So if you have interests, hobbies, things that you enjoy doing, you need to maximize those things in your life; life; you need to really own it completely and um immerse yourself in those things as much as you can. You don't want to um at some point go into a relationship with another person, a woman or whatever, and not know who you are. I think that's what happens to a lot of men is they they meet some girl, and they get married way too early without fully understanding who they are as men, and so it becomes really easy to get sucked into her frame, her world, her vision of of of what the life is going to be like, because women have been thinking about this since they were kids, you know, since the first time they picked up a baby doll and
Played house with their friends. They were imagining mommy and daddy in this whole game, and they have a vision for it. And they are going to suck you into their vision, unless you stand your ground and you know exactly who you are and what you want for your life. It's only through having that establishment of who you are and what you're about and what's important to you, can you authentically create a frame that is inviting, not only for you but for a woman.
If you don't know who you are and you put her in a position where she is driving the agenda, first of all, you're going to be really uncomfortable with that, but she's also going to be really uncomfortable with that. Because women, for the most part, do not like being in that leadership role and having the responsibility that goes with it. If you put them in that role, you're going to turn up their neurosis to maximum, and they're going to implode, and you're going to regret it. So you've got to know who you are as a man, especially as a single man, before bringing a woman into your life.
If you're a young guy, you know you need to get your career together; you need to get your identity together; you need to know who you are. And don't question whether you're man enough. We're all man enough. It's about being independent, stand on your own two feet, identify yourself, and be autonomous as to who you are and what you like and what your personality is, and just own it. Don't look outside of you for confirmation that you're doing the right thing; look inside. CU it's that it's on the inside; it's there that you're going to find the answers that you're looking for. They don't exist in the world. I've said this in many of my other videos, and this is the best time to bring it up: life is a subjective experience. You are the judge; only you, you're the only one who can determine whether or not you're on the right track. So be that judge; be the person who holds you accountable and decide what things you need to do to be the man that you want to be and live the life that you want to have.
If you can do that, at some point you can bring a woman into your life, and you can do it with confidence, and you can feel pretty good that you're not going to be one of these guys, like me, who has their marriage implode on them or get blown up in their face and wondering what went wrong. All right, that's all I got for you today. I hope you guys have enjoyed the video. Um, please like and subscribe. You know, please share the video with other guys. You know, this video is for all men. I mean, know young guys, I hope you get the most benefit from it, but I think that at any age, um, we we can all benefit from this kind of thinking. All right, that's all I got. Uh, please like and subscribe. I'll see you in the next video. Stay healthy, and if you can, stay single.