Transcription
Let me give you another distinction. Jot this one down. Besides towards and away from, another one is called internal or external frame of reference. Internal or external frame of reference. Internal or external frame of reference.
Let me tell you another reason. Let me explain the two. If you have an internal frame of reference, how much of what somebody else says is going to change you? How much? Not a whole lot. Internal frame of reference means your internal representations are so strong that when you're going to make a decision about what is true, what is not true, what is right, which is not right, what is good, what is not good, where do you check? Do you go out here and ask other people in the environment? Now, where do you go? Inside. And you'll make those decisions based upon the internal representations.
Now, where did these come from in the first place? Outside. How did you get them? Some external frame. Something in the environment. Someone said something. Someone told them. They read something. Maybe consistently over time. And then through that continuous external stimulus, they came to have this internal representation or belief. And they will be in a state as a result of that. And their behaviors will come from that. That's called an internal frame of reference.
And external is the opposite. Someone who makes decisions from an external frame of reference is a person who's going to check. Where they're not going for an internal rep, they're going to go an external rep. They're going to go out here and go, "Hey, how do you feel about this? How do you feel about this? How do you feel about this?" And they're going to give us many different external frames to be able to put themselves in a state where they make a decision. Because that's how they're going to create an internal frame by getting current external information.
Okay, so for someone who has an external frame of reference, or let's say the example of an internal, someone's got an internal frame of reference, and you're trying to have them come to a seminar. Would you go to them and say, "I'm telling you, this is the best seminar there is"? How are they going to respond to that? They may say something real nice, but are they going to be motivated to go? There's no way. Because you're imp—you're, they don't care what you think.
What if you had that same person who said, "I bet if you check within yourself and ask yourself, you probably discover that this would be really valuable for you. I mean, you're the only one who knows for sure. What do you think?" See, that person will go like this. "Guy came to me after a guest event the other night, came up and said, 'I'm not sold.' I said, 'Well, that's great.' He said, 'Well, he says, uh, you know, uh, I just, you know, I don't know that I really need this stuff.' I said, 'You probably don't.' Right? He says, 'Well, he said, maybe I could go if somebody with your skills would persuade me and I could see immediately what frame he was.' His total, what kind? He's saying external. But what frame was he? Internal. And all these people around, he's gonna put on a show. He's gonna try and make me do my stuff, right?"
So I said, "Well, look," I said, "I can't tell you how to run your life. I said, you're the only one who knows what's right for you." What'd that build rapport? "I said, I don't have the skill to change you. You're the only one who has that. And I said, you're the only one to know. You're the one who knows who'd lose if you didn't go to the course. And you know who that is? He'd lose. Don't you?"
Now, how effective was that motivating him? He says, "You got me. You got me." He says, "Yeah, I am the only one who can do it." I said, "You are the only one. I'm not going to push you to do something that you don't want to do. You're the one inside who knows whether you want to do this or not, or if you do." Now, guess what? He signed up.
Now, if I would have said, "Hey, you should go. This thing, it's the best thing in the world. Trust me. Hey, look at me. Look what I've done with my life." Would that have got him excited? Now, somebody has an external frame. How do you get them involved? Just that way. You go, "Hey, this is the best thing. Look what I've done. Look here. This guy who teaches the course, what he's done with his life. I mean, think about all these other people. Listen to what they've been saying about it. Whatever it is." And by that, will that motivate that person to go?
Personal, uh, process where they have to sort by self to survive, to succeed. But I think our planet only works on the long term when we sort by others. That's what the concept of team is, isn't it? And the balance is to have both, where you don't take away from yourself to give to others, but will you take care of yourself and you work on giving to others as well? Once again, balance.
Now, if you had an attorney who's strictly sorted by others, right? Would that be a real effective attorney? Yes or no? Probably not. Because what happens is, anybody else who says something, "Oh, well, I'm on your side." Right? See, because in that context, you probably need your attorney to be able to sort myself to a certain extent. So, remember, there's a place for everything.
But what happens when someone sorts internally, or myself, rather, excuse me? Are they going to be real concerned about the farmer out there with his leaf? No. Now, the guy's not a bad guy because he sorts by self. He's been conditioned to sort by self. You know what I'm saying? So, I used to make him wrong. He's been conditioned by his environment.
Now, the NRC, do you think they sort myself or by others? Anybody who can see that kind of evidence and go, "Open the plant"? Has to be sorting by what? Self. They're thinking about their own jobs, their own committee, the people in itself. Can also be a community of people, can it? See, so how would you present information to them? Would you present about how you can save the farmers? How would you motivate them? What they can do for themselves?
If you're motivating somebody to come to a seminar, would you go to a person who sorts myself and say, "If you come, you can learn skills to help your family and everybody around you"? Would that motivate them to come? No. What do you got to say? You're going to say, "Hey, if you come to this thing, you can learn how to do anything with yourself. You can learn to make yourself feel any way you'd like to feel, do anything you'd like to do." What do they start by others? Is that going to motivate them? If you go, you can learn how to manipulate yourself, make everything happen, feel however you want. It's not going to be a stronger saying. If you come to this thing, you're going to help every person on the planet. This person sorts by brother is going to come to that one.