Transcription
So earlier today, I posted something on here about Tinder and a red flag from a girl, something I considered a red flag from a girl, maybe unmatched instantly. And I had feedback I didn't expect. Um, a guy in particular who I really feel like represents a large part of the community that I see a lot on sites like Reddit um had a perspective that essentially suggested that um it was people like me that are responsible for those who don't get any dates um and fail on dating sites. Which made me really curious to see, uh, is it me or is it guys like him that are more problematic, or at least, you know, who is in the majority?
So off the top of my head, on Tinder, things that will make me not even swipe in the first place are not writing a bio. Like, if you think that your photos or your likes are enough um to not write anything about yourself, or be like, "I'm really bad at this," or say, "I'm an open book." That's the worst one. "Ask me anything." Like, the entire point is for you to offer me information. So not having a bio out.
So the next is if you have filters on like most of or all of your photos. I'm out. Not necessarily because like, it's just weird. Um, I I don't actually have a reason for this one. Like, I could come up with reasons certainly, but it's like, it just gives like Facebook mom vibes and that's kind of like what I think of you. I picture that your car has like a bunch of fast food wrappers and you like vape a lot or smoke cigarettes. Like, that's the vibe I get from people that have like heavy filters or like hearts and stuff on their photos of themselves. It's It's weird. I also assume you probably don't look um a way that you want to share, I guess. Uh, which even if you looked away, that was great. If you're not like owning it, it's not hot.
Cuz it really sounds like they're assuming that I'm going to plan the date, take them somewhere, pay for it, impress them. And I'm just realizing right now in this moment that this is because I'm looking for women. Maybe is because I'm looking for women and is men. Is this just often your experience that a lot of the gender, the people you're trying to date are just wanting to be impressed by you, or like you're out for an interview? That's interesting for me. It sucks and I ignore all the people that are behaving that way. But I just realized that I've heard this complaint and I've brushed off this complaint as incel behavior because not this exact complaint, but just like, hm, okay, I have some thinking to do on that. I'm not excusing the incels or anything. I'm just realizing how much I hate being treated this way and if like a large population of cuz I'm also only getting a subset of women that are open to meeting other women. So I'm wondering if the super completely straight girls are even more like this, like the cuz what falls in the same category is like, "I want P, I'm a passenger princess. I want like, like that type of vibe." um feels like they don't have anything to offer, like I'm supposed to offer everything.
And now I'm wondering if, and obviously part of the reason if it is true that this is men's experience, like what I'm experiencing now is men's common experience, would be partly because it is the case that women have a lot, generally that women have a lot of choices and men have fewer choices. Uh, that seems to be the case currently, at the very least. Um, but I certainly have never struggled to get a date or a boyfriend or like anything at all. Um, and obviously there are a lot of people out there that are a lot more attractive than I am that, you know, probably just know it and maybe date in a way where they just sit back and say, "Impress me." That's interesting.
Now, now this doesn't excuse any of the type of garbage I hear from guys because the obvious next thing is just like, don't try to connect with those people obviously. Um, so that's completely on you if that's who you're going after because she's pretty. Like, in that case, if you're deciding like that that person's a yes for you because she's really hot, then that's the deal you're making. Like, she put her effort in to looking the way that she looks that made you so into it that you didn't care that she said all those things. So, you guys are entering into a little social contract of your own here. And that's going to be on both of you as adults. But I will say that I personally do not like it when the girl just says, "Show me a good time. Make me laugh. I'm a passenger princess." I don't like that at all. And I will not ever entertain it for a second. Um, all right. That was a huge I got off track there. Um, this video is way too long to post anyway. Um, exactly. And a man would have to sit up here, whine you and dine you, impress you, come dressed to impress, got the car, the house, the watch, the jewelry, all that stuff to match just for you to get on TikTok or social media or wherever and talk about him. Oh, I'm on Facebook bashing him in one of these groups. I'm on this little tea app bashing him in one of these groups. Oh, he's this, he's that, he didn't meet my standard. Just lying. Lying. It's not fair. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm out.
Golly, I sure did make a lot of old men mad with my last TikTok. Um, that's just daycare prices, y'all. That's just daycare prices. And I'm sorry that I had s a few years ago that's not a good person. Uh, can't fix that now. So, let's um jump into now's facts. Let's not point his fingers at me. We can point two fingers because it takes two to create a child. Okay? And it takes two to take care of one. So, if I cannot be the only person doing something, okay? That's just how it is. And I should like have more of like a round of applause cuz I work so hard. But it's okay cuz y'all are not going to do that. And I understand that. It's fine. I'm going to continue to do what I got to do and live my best life and vent on my safe space. Y'all ain't gonna stop me. Bye. You ain't said nothing that was important.
Somebody in the comments said, "Accountability is a lifelong lesson. She needs to get off this camera and realize she needs to take." Once you get to your late 20s as a guy, you start to experience more and more girls rushing you. It's sort of like how guys sometimes in the early phases of dating will rush girls to get to the intimate part. Similarly, girls in their late 20s will like rush guys to get to the official part. Like, they'll start giving you like nicknames way too soon, or they'll like start like planning a trip with you and you're like, "I just met you," type stuff like that. And it just doesn't feel right because the the pacing doesn't match the connection. Meaning like, you don't really even feel like you have that good of a connection with this girl, but she's like already pushing for you guys to be official and you're like, "Why do you even want to be official with me?" Which I guess is how the girls feel when they're like, "Why do you even want to be physical with me? Like, you don't even like me," type thing. It just feels like that. You're like, "I can tell that you wanted this thing basically. You want like a boyfriend or a serious relationship, and I'm just the person who you locked on at this point in time, but it's not really about me."
A woman in the comments said, "You're definitely not wrong, but the late 20s girls often had their time wasted in their early 20s and are trying to see if he's not feeling it earlier." And the woman responded, a woman responded, "Yes, spent 3 years of my youth with a man with no intentions. Never again." And somebody responded and said, "And you deserved and you deserved every minute of it. Maturity is realizing it's your job. It's your job to spot red flags and figure things out. You deserved every minute of it." It's diabolic. I absolutely love when there is rhetoric on my for you page that I can respond to that relates to me. It is so enriching to my. So the rhetoric that I'm speaking of is there is this um, we'll call her a woman of color. She is a woman of color. Brown is what she referred to herself as, and woman of color influencer who was talking about how she likes to date men that have European features. European meaning white for the most part. Um, and as she has dated men that are attractive to her standards, she gets told indirectly often basically that, you know, a woman of color, a woman of color is a last resort to a white man, as if white men are the prize. As a woman of color who has definitely dated outside of my race multiple times, I just want you to know. I just want y'all to know y'all never been the prize. Um, ever. I have never dated outside my race and thought, "Oh my god, he No. Women of color are the prize." Like, do you see my skin? Do you understand how many different hairstyles I can do? Do you see how beautiful I am? Do you see? Like, what are we talking about? White men are literally if I've dated them, it's not because I think that they're the prize. It's because I liked the person that I was dating. However, I don't know when we're going to shatter this standard that for some reason because your skin is white or because I don't damn know, your your credit score is high, you are a prized pos. You're not. You're only a prized possession if you are a prize on the inside. It has nothing to do with your Caucasianness. Actually, if anything, that is 57 points against you. Nanga. Another stupid take.
Men in the comments says, "White men are not the prize and women of color are also not the prize." Because that's not how relationships work. When you do this, you're putting yourself above someone else. It's a partnership and you should consider each other the prize. Thank you, Scott, who is also a white man. Please delete this video.
It's just something about when a guy says, "Oh, my love language is physical touch." Right. Right. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Right. And for a lot of women out here, their love language is receiving gifts. Stupidity at its finest. A woman in the comments said, "I've never met a man whose language was not physical touch." A woman in the comments said, "My exes was words of affirmation, which is not my strong suit." Exactly. Y'all don't know how to give men compliments, even if their uh uh love language was anything other than physical touch as you claim. Another woman responds and says, "What's wrong with physical touch? I'm a woman and that's my love language." Exactly. Normal people know this and are okay with it.
This is how much I make in a week as a Miami during slow season, which is summer. So, I just left work. Tonight's Monday. It's my first night working this week. And I made a whopping $193. Woohoo. Tonight is Wednesday. It's my second night working this week cuz I took last night off. And I made $752. $53, sorry. Honestly, the one customer I had tonight was incredibly handsy and aggressive and was just like crossing all my boundaries the entire time and was so obnoxious. So, this literally doesn't even feel like enough. So, last night was Thursday and I had a dinner date with one of my regulars and he gave me our usual 7,000. Don't mind my nail broken off. He also prepaid me $3,000 for our next date in August. So, I have that here, but I'm not going to count that as part of this because this is going towards our next date. So, we'll just say 7,000 for Thursday. Last night was Friday. It was the 4th of July. I had two regulars come in for me. They were the only two customers I had all night. And I made $7,640. It was obviously very unexpected, crazy night. Like, most girls did pretty well in the club tonight. The last night that I worked was Saturday and I made $4,660. So definitely a really good Saturday. That means that my total for four nights of work at the club plus the one dinner date was $20,246.
The dude in the comments said it cost $20,000 to live in Miami. Good grief, that's a lot. And I would also say that it's funny to me how she brought up the point about No, it's not funny. That's not funny. A man crossing her boundaries like ma'am ma'am what you're doing I I don't know how to say it respectfully. I guess the best thing is not to say it at all because what boundaries what boundaries do you have when you're doing this?
I ended up crying this past weekend uh because I ended up talking about my dating life with some family members. And if you know me, I'm not a crier. I don't cry really hardly at all. So when I do, it's like I mean it could have been the several high noons deep I was. Sue me. It was the 4th of July. Um, but I it was interesting because three of it was three males verse me sitting like like literally like three males and then me right here. So, already felt a little cornered there. Um, but I brought it up. I brought up my dating life. So, it's my fault. Um, but I brought it up to three people that I knew wouldn't understand because two of them are in their 60s and were dating and what I mean of course they they didn't take it as seriously because they already had kids and they're financially stable and like I probably would do the same thing too. Um, and then my other cousin has been married to his high school sweetheart like for a long time. So, it's just different. And I was trying to explain like dating in your 30s is on a totally different level of like dating. It's so hard. Um, and like everybody has their non-negotiables. I think every single woman should have their non-negotiables. But they were trying to tell me like I'm too picky and like I need to give more people a chance. And I'm like, okay, maybe you're right, but like also I've gave a lot of people chances. And again, dating is very different right now. And in my mind, because I was drinking, it was like I heard, "Oh, you're single because you're choosing to be single." And now that I think about it, that's kind of true because I'm not just going to settle for anybody. Um, but I don't know, it like struck a nerve because I not a nerve, I honestly felt like it was three people trying to tell someone who have never been in my shoes when it came to dating. Like, I want kids really bad. And I it it's hard because when the timeline is like, you know, approaching and you're like, okay, it's either like I have them or I don't. Um, and I I've learned to accept that and it's completely fine. Like I have. Um, but it it it's just interesting when you have somebody people that have been in relationships um trying to tell me how I should and shouldn't date. Um, and again, like when you ask people's opinion, that is what's going to happen and completely fine. But yeah, uh, it was it was an interesting weekend and they all mean well. They all mean well and they all love me. I know that. and um you know they they apologize and it it's completely fine. Um but yeah, it just it it's family dynamics and like talking about dating is always fun.
A woman in the comments said, "I'm right there with you. I'm 37 and I've always wanted kids, too. Not that I'm quote running out of time end quote, but I'm kind of running out of time, you know." Yeah, we know.
So, there's a debate in my comments about how when women leave marriages, they take half and the men thinks they shouldn't have half and blah blah blah. And it made me think about when we meet or start dating someone, when he makes a lot of money, he has no problem telling us that he makes a lot of money or like suggesting that he makes a lot of money. And I just wonder why, why do you guys do that if you think that all we care about is money, but then when we're leaving you, you pretend like you're broke.
This dude in the comments said, this dude in the comments said, "Prenuptial, prenuptial, fellas, no need for this debate and no arguments. Sign it or get out of my."
After five minutes on the date, that's when he looked at me and said, "This isn't going to work. This date is done." And I said, "Okay, 211 first dates. Let's talk about date number 180." We matched, we messaged, we talked on the phone. He seemed like a really nice guy. I don't know how anyone could vet these kind of things. We never I just don't understand how you can prepare yourself for this to know whether someone is going to do this or not. So, he wanted to meet for drinks. We met at the mall and there was this restaurant that has a nice little bar and you know it's in the center. It was it was an okay place, not too crowded. Perfect. When I got there, I recognized him immediately and I sat down. When the bartender came over, I ordered uh soda water with some limes. And when I turned, that's when he reached over to grab my hands. And I it was instinctual. I I've never held hands with a stranger. I I instinctively just pulled my hands away and he kind of looked at me a little shocked. And so we started talking. I asked, you know, how his day was, what he did. I had known what he had done yesterday and his plans that were coming in the forward week. And so, you know, we were just talking about things that were happening in the present time. By the time the bartender brought my drink and placed it down, he reached over to hold my hands again and again. What did I do? I instinctively pulled away and he said, "What is wrong?" And I said, "You know, I'm just not very comfortable with holding hands. We're okay." We talked for a couple more minutes and he reached over again the third time to hold my hands. And what did I do? Of course, I pulled my hands away and said, "You know, I'm just not comfortable holding hands." And he said, "Well, this date is over. I want a woman that I can hold hands with them and stroke them and be with them." And I said, "We just met. I met you 5 minutes ago." And he said, "Well, I know right away that a woman who has attraction for me, she will hold my hands immediately, and that's when I know it's, you know, that's the connection." And obviously, we do not have a connection. So, this date is over. And I said, "All righty." I'd only had a soda water, so I just picked up my purse and I walked out.
Here's my question for you. How many of you have been on a date? and he picked up and left because you weren't holding his hands within the first five minutes or what happened that made the date just up and go. Let me know.
I'm not saying that he's right for it, but it sounds like he's trying to break the touch barrier early. Not saying that he has anything coming behind it as far as, oh, I want to sleep with you. But I think it's like he said, I'm looking for a connection. Or it might be, like he said, I might be totally off on that. I'm looking for a connection pretty quickly. You look like you're probably 65. So, if he's in his 60s, he's not looking to waste a lot of time. I don't know a lot of men at that age that are looking to waste that type of time. Once again, not saying that he was correct in doing that. I'm just telling you what he might have been thinking.
I really can't stand how men, specifically the ugly ones, are always feeding into each other's delusions. Like the other day, I hear this guy talking about, "Oh, this girl doesn't like my friend because he's too crazy." Yeah, he is crazy, but that's at the bottom of the list. Did you ever think he's not attractive? He's not appealing. He puts zero effort into his appearance and actually looks terrible. But no, that couldn't be it, right? It all makes sense, though. These ugly guys hype each other up because it's easier to do that than look in the mirror and get a reality check.
Somebody in the comments said, "I don't know about you, but most male friends are straight up with each other. They're honest and they tell these guys what they need to know. And I I tend to agree. You know, obviously there are some blind spots. Let's not gloss over that. But you make it seem like these guys are looking at each other just I can't say that on YouTube. Basically, they they're just staring into each other's eyes and be like, "Oh, bro, you look so lovely tonight." They're not doing that. It's like, "Hey, bro, you need to fix this. You need to do that." They'll crack a joke and, "Hey man, he's this, this, and this, but you know, he's my he's my buddy and I love him." You guys don't seem to do that for each other.
Heard a lady say that since men pay for dates and expect and women should pay for dates and expect labor. Hey, I'm not mad at that. I'm not mad at that. So, here's what I would have done when I was dating based on what she spent for the date. Now, I will say I normally don't do this like just be giving out labor on the first date. But, you know, if the vibes are right and it's just flowing and everything, I might do something strange for a little piece of change. I don't know. I might be going. I don't know. At first tier, $25 to $50, right? I will change a tire. I will mount a TV, you know, something like that. 50 to 100. I'll put together some furniture, you know, change your oil, change your brake pads, you know, mow your yard, stuff like that. Depending on how big a yard is. I might do it for 25 to 50. Who knows? 100 to 150, you know. I'll I'll change an alternator, maybe a radiator. I got to. There's more to that, though. But I'll change an alternator for sure. Clean your gutters, you know, maybe rake your yard, stuff like that. You know, 150 and up, you trying to get full service, ain't it? That's what I'm saying.
Y'all talking about this men be like, "Oh, okay. Well, that's a fair deal. It's a fair exchange. I put something in, I get something out. It's an even exchange. Like, it's I know if I put something in, there's going to be a result. I'm going to get a return on my investment. A lot of men out here aren't getting a return on anything. I'm just shelling money out. It's a bill at this point in time that I get no dividends from."
Well, then take your big overgrown 47-year-old ass over there and go buy your own coffee. You talking about at this big ass age, 47 years old, dropping comments like this, you got you should be able to buy your own goddamn coffee. And guess what? You should also be able to take yourself to the best five-star hotels, to the best five-star restaurants, to the best skyline, all this stupid y'all out here yelling out. See, I'm going to have to get busy with your ass real quick because technically, if we want to be technical, a woman should be able to do all of that on her own anyway without a [ __ ] you trying to minimize a date. A date is a date. See, you 47 years old and it's obvious you never experienced true love, real intimacy, somebody that was really into you to the point where it don't matter what's going on. We into each other. That's some you've never experienced. That's why you out here leaving dumb ass comments like this. The truth of the matter is I'm realizing y'all out here selling steak. That's what's happening. You hoes are out here trying to sell that for some steak. You don't want no man that's trying to pick your brain and trying to see what's going on because you're trying to sell for steak. I'm a boy mom and I don't play them type of games over here. I'm going to stand 10 toes down on what the I said talking about some why do you care? The same reason why you care. You over here commenting on some [ __ ] you don't care about. Like I said, I don't give a f where you go. At the end of the day, if you into somebody, then you into somebody. If you trying to sell some, then just say that. Just say, "I don't I don't want no coffee. I want I'm a [ __ ] hungry. A [ __ ] hungry and a to sell this I'm trying to eat for the night." That's what it's sounding like. Just say it.
Having women whose opinions I care about, like women who I consider very thoughtful, uh women who I think have very measured opinions and really consider the things that they say tell me that if they were asked on a date and a guy said, "Let's go for a walk," or "Let's go get coffee," that they would say, "No." Oh my god. Listen, you've got like a threshold that you're willing to meet. Okay, it is what it is. I have taken women on [ __ ] insane, extravagant first dates. Ones that it's like you take a woman on for like your [ __ ] 5-year anniversary, okay? And I've had first dates when I was a little generate that were not dates at all. I will not elaborate. I understand that women need to protect their time. They can't just go on every single date that every guy asks them out on. And it can't always be a coffee or a walk cuz that shit's annoying. That shit's monotonous. I fully understand that. I fully respect that. On the other side of the spectrum, every guy can't be like, "Cool, here's a $50, $7,500 dinner date. Oh, we're not compatible. That sucks." Okay, second first date, now that's $200. Okay, third first date. Now it's $300. And maybe they're compatible with none of them. As much as women need to protect their time when it comes to first dates, I think there is maybe not enough attention paid to the fact that men can't just throw hundreds and hundreds of dollars to find out that they are not compatible on a first date. And I don't know where the middle ground is on this, but like dude, this is goddamn dating is [ __ ]
And the moment you start showing him you a strong black woman, got to know you you going to get treated like a strong black man. A lot of men are going to do the things that you need them to do until you start moving them out of the way. And then most men are like, "Oh, okay. You got it. Let me move out the way. You going to handle it." That's how they are with their friends. If you got it, you got it. You told me you had it. As a man, I'mma take you at your word and let you handle it. Y'all's word needs to be nothing. Sometimes that means you need to sit down and maybe take it easy.
We need to make something very clear. As a man, I don't care if you are a personal trainer. I don't care if you are a Pilates instructor. I don't care if you are a professional athlete. You have no privilege to speak about a woman's body. You have zero right. You have zero privilege to be speaking about a woman's body, to be judging their movements, to be speaking about their metabolism, whether they have a good metabolism or a bad metabolism. You have zero right to speak about a woman's body. You know why? Because you're uneducated. You don't know. You really at the end of the day don't know. And I can say that with certainty because even the healthcare professionals don't know. There's not enough study and there's not enough research on a woman's body. So to say this as nicely as possible, shut the [ __ ] Unless a woman is coming to you seeking your professional advice on her body or what she needs to be doing for movement, shut the [ __ ] up. No one asked you. You are not a woman. You are a man and that's it. Period. No privilege.
So with that being said, now do you think when you come to a man and say that's not what men do, that's not how men act. You need to be a man. You need to stand up and be a man. you need to grow some. Do you still think that you have the authority to say this type of stuff to men because you're not a man? Or is that just, you know, it just men can't say anything to women? Huh?
It's not normal for a 20-year-old man to be paying all y'all bills. So, I don't even know where y'all got your information from, but I'm more than sure it's here from TikTok. Yeah. Stop looking for a 20-year-old, 21, 22, any 20-year-old to pay your bills. That's not your husband. He doesn't have to pay your bills. He's trying to figure life out for himself. It's very unrealistic and it's not that many 20-year-olds with their lives together. Understandably so. We just got out of high school. We're figuring it out. Some of us are still in college. Some of us maybe cracked codes and figured it out, but the majority of us have not. A 20-year-old man is not going to pay for your life.
Just love somebody for who they are. They not everything is about a dollar. But ladies, I'm not telling you to date a man with no money because why would you want a man who literally can't do anything for you, who can't even take you on a nice date, you know? But like, he is not to be paying your bills at such a young age.
It's not that men don't know how to approach women in a respectful way. It's that they want every woman they approach to reciprocate. They cannot handle the rejection. Partially probably because they're setting themselves up for like a hard rejection. There are really easy ways to approach a woman. Like if I were a man approaching a woman just off the top of my head, here's here's how it would probably go. Approach. Okay. If she sees me, great. If she doesn't, maybe a gentle tap on the shoulder. Nothing threatening, right? Excuse me. I don't want to bother you. I see that you're here with some friends, but I noticed you from across the room and I wanted to come over and introduce myself. My name is David. Would you tell me yours? Okay, right off the bat, we've got a few things. We've got slow cadence. Slow is non-threatening. Slow and measured is confident. We also have sharing before asking if they would be willing to share. Would you tell me yours? Not what's your name? Would you tell me yours? Okay, she says, "What? My name is Katie." Katie. I like that name. Katie. That's nice. If I asked you a question, would you be honest? Would you be honest with me if I asked you a question? Well, maybe. It depends on what it is. It's nothing nothing inappropriate. I promise. It's it's just a question that I would like you to be honest with me if I ask you. Is it okay if I ask you a question? Yeah. Okay, that's fine. What is it? Katie, is there any part of you that finds me attractive? Well, yes, I suppose. Yeah, maybe a small part or, you know, Yeah, definitely. Great. Cuz there's a part of me that finds you attractive as well, and I don't want to take any more of your time, but I would like to get to know you better over dinner sometime. Would that would that be okay with you if I get to know you over dinner sometime? Yes, I suppose that's fine. Great. Well, why don't you put your number into my phone and then I'm going to call you tomorrow and when I call you, we can talk about some different places that you might want to go that you would feel comfortable having dinner. Is that okay? Great. Here's my phone. You can put your number into my phone now. Hi, ladies. How are you tonight? Yeah, Katie Katie caught my eye. So, I just wanted to introduce myself and see if I could have the chance to get to know her better. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Well, I will give you a call tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your night, ladies and Katie. I will talk to you soon. All right.
What's so hard about that? What's so hard about that? And here's the best part. You know what? If you ask that question and you're a guy and you say, "Is there any part of you that's attracted to me?" and she says, "No, here's what you say." H All right. Well, thank you for being honest. There is a part of me that was attracted to you, but if it's not mutual, I will leave you to your night and I hope you you get home safe, ladies. All right. Hey, take care. And you leave. That's that is all you have to do. The man does that. There's no way somebody's going to say he's a creep. There's no way. Like, just do that.
Honestly, well, it's not that hard except for the cadence is very slow. Um, a lot of women are going to get bored by that. They're going to think that you are slow, that there's something wrong with you, that you're on this spectrum. And they're going to be like, uh, like, what was wrong with him? What was wrong with that guy? They might say, oh, no, thank you. Thank you for coming over. But when you leave, they're like, oh, what was wrong with that guy? He's weird. That's what they're going to do. There's a lot of women on this app and somebody mentioned it in the comments. I think what you're saying I appreciate you trying to help but I think what you're saying is specific for you cuz there are a lot of women that would be like what in the world was he doing touching me. Who does that? You men are too entitled to a woman's body and going off left and right. So I would I would never think to be touching a woman in this day and age. It makes sense. It would have made sense maybe a couple of decades ago, but now in this day and age when the women are specifically saying, "Do not ever put your hands on me. Don't look in my direction." As a matter of fact, some of these ladies are saying, "Don't talk to me. I'll talk to you." So, this thing about what's so hard about that is because you say one thing and there are a lot of other women that say the complete opposite. There's literally no consensus. A man could do literally everything that you said and they have done everything that you said and they still end up on TikTok. This man came, how dare he think that he can talk to me? He's ugly. He's I'm tired of me. It's only the medium ugly men that approach me. Why can I not get no uh why can I not get hot guys? It's not that simple. And she's saying, "Well, I work in sales, so I deal with rejection all the time." You being in sales is not the same thing in most cases as being a man and finding out you're posted on TikTok, finding out you've been posted in a group on Facebook somewhere. Finding out your name has been plastered your face and you didn't do anything wrong. Your face has been plastered all over an app somewhere that you didn't even know about. And you're wondering why these women are not giving you a chance because they saw that, oh yeah, I've been with him. No, I've never even know. I've never even seen that girl. Or me and that girl had something for like two dates and I told her respectfully, "I'm not interested." And she got mad at me. I've had that happen to me before. I've had that happen to me. Went crazy. Went berserk. I said, "I don't think that is going to work between us." Went berserk on me. Wouldn't stop calling me. Kept on moping, crying, and complaining about foolishness. Foolishness. So once again, I get what you're saying, but I think for this one, sales is not going to do it. You need to be a little bit more in tune with what men are going through.
A guy in the comments says, "Gentle tap or not, the moment you touch her, you'll catch a case if she finds you unattractive." For that matter, if she finds you unattractive, she's going to do her best to shame you and embarrass you. She responds by saying, "Give me an example of a time a woman pressed charges against the man who gently tapped her on the shoulder." Another woman adds to the conversation. "This isn't even close to reality." Okay, so the man is delusional. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Another woman comes and adds a comment and says, "Women don't owe you comfort." Bingo. Thank you. Y'all keep on running your mouths. You don't know what you're talking about. You have no clue what you're talking about. This woman out of nowhere just said, "Women don't owe you comfort." And that's why I'm not approaching because you don't owe me quote unquote comfort. Maybe you don't owe somebody comfort, but you don't owe them. It doesn't mean that you disrespect them. It doesn't mean that you treat them like they're trash. That's what I'm saying. You're just talking out of the side of your beh. Oh, and here's another one straight from a woman. No, please. Please just write your Insta handle and give it to her. Let her decide if she wants to know you. Bingo. That's what I'm saying. You're running your mouth and you don't know what you're talking about.
Men do a lot to be better men. And we're told, they're not told to keep to keep a woman. But women are trying to prove that they don't need a man. But it's like the opposite. Because when men when we get money, we get money so that we can take on dependence. I can have a family. I can have kids. When women get money, it's for your independence. I don't need a man. I don't need this. I can buy my own house. I can buy. But if you do that, you take away his need. If you got the house, the car, and everything, he has no purpose for that relationship. So he will not have the vigor it takes to make sure that the relationship is abundant, joyous and in harmony. He doesn't have he can provide emotional intent. It don't work like that. You can't tell a man what's intrinsically important to him just because you want it to be important. When you take away that's why so many successful women are single. That's why and I'm not saying that their decision was right or wrong. I am saying that they're devoid of being able to pair bond with the kind of man they want. And if they're going to successfully pair bond or have a half a chance at it, they got to date down. Provide me loyalty. I can finance myself. A man don't operate like that. If a man a man is a man, we're natural teachers. So if we not trying to teach you what we know, we really don't like you. That's the quickest way to say loyalty. I just said men don't work like that. Right? I started off like that. That platitude means nothing to a man. You can repeat it, regurgitate it, and put it on your picture three times and your story and the man still ain't going to resonate with I can buy my own car. Give me loyalty. No, no, no, no, no. Intrinsically, we have to feel needed and necessary to the relationship. You came having everything. You don't listen. you have a and she's still not listening because she thinks that she knows what men want. Well, I want loyalty. I can finance this. You're trying to merge your life together with a guy, not well, I already got this. I don't need you for that. Give me this.
I see where you're coming from, but the way you're thinking about it in terms of a relationship is wrongheaded. It just is. If a man is going to teach you something, that's what he's going to do. He's going to do it because he's the leader of the pack. That's what leaders do. They teach those who who are around them. If I'm eating, everybody's going to eat. Period. End of story. But if you come in saying, "Well, I don't need you to teach me that. I can teach you a thing or two. As a matter of fact, move and get out the way, but you be loyal to me." Then a man sits there and he's like, "Oh, okay. You got it. Go ahead." Then in about a couple of years, you're going to turn and look at him like, "Why are you not leading? You're supposed to be the man. Why are you not helping me out?" Well, you said you you got it. You're the leader of the pack. So, I moved out the way and let you do it. But now it looks like you're too tired to do it. So, you you now want me to step up and take it for the next 30 years. Doesn't work like that. You should have respected me enough in the beginning to do that. You should. And now you're going to have I'm not going to say it can't work, but now that's when the real work starts. you mess it up and now you're gonna have to do undo three years or however many however long y'all have been together you're gonna have to undo all of that and really help the man to understand no I am 100% behind you I'm beside you I'm supporting you I'm pushing you take us wherever we need to go and then after a while he'll say okay yeah she's really on my side and that's when he'll start to step into his full confidence as a leader as the man of the house because he knows that at every single turn, whether he's right or wrong, you're going to support him. And it's not so different from what you guys are asking. When you're out there in public screaming and hollering and you're upset, you're asking the man, "I might be wrong, but don't embarrass me right there in front of everybody. Wait until we get in the car and say something or tap me on my shoulder or do this or whatever it is that y'all got going on to make it clear that this ain't it." A man is asking for the same thing. Don't embarrass me in front of my friends and my family. Help me out. Don't make it seem like I'm an idiot or a dope. Help me out. But some of these ladies are not doing that because they think they know everything and they're trying to show the man up and they Oh, I didn't really mean it like that. I I didn't. You meant it how you did it. You thought that you knew more than me. You thought that you're the only one in the room that knew what was going on. And I was trying to tell you this is a little bit different environment. And now when people are not inviting you back, they're not asking you to certain places, then you're wondering why nobody likes you. And now you want me to go protect and fight on your behalf and talk to people and build relationships so that people will let you back into the social group again. Stop doing that. When you find a man and if you saying that you like that man, respect him by sitting down. Does that mean that you don't get to give an opinion? No. Does that mean that you don't sit and talk about things extensively until both of you feel comfortable about it? That's what you're going to have to do. You a man is not supposed to come in there and say, "Well, this is my way of the highway. Shut up." No. Most men are not going to do that. Most men don't know what they're doing and they'll tell you, "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just out here trying to figure it all out." That she know just about as much as that. She probably even smarter than me. I've heard countless men say that. I've heard countless men in relationships longer than in in 30, 40, 50 years say, "Oh, she's smarter than me." And they make a joke and they they joke about themselves and it's funny and everybody laughs because men know, man, I can be an idiot, man. I I can be stupid. I I shouldn't have done. She She keeps on telling me and, you know, I'm wondering why she's with me. They make a joke because they know they don't understand and they don't know it all. That's what we're trying to get you guys to understand. You don't know it all either. But somewhere along the way, we put our heads together and we figured something out. We raised these two and three kids. We put them through school. We didn't do it perfectly, but we did it. We got this house. We moved from here. We went over there. We got this car. We built a retirement fund. Maybe we don't have a beach house, but we got something. We ain't starving. We ain't out on the street. Our house is paid off. Our cars are paid off. We got a little money to go see the grandkids every summer. The grandkids come. We can take them for ice cream. We can take them to camps. Drop them off. Hey, your grandfather, your grandmother's coming to pick you up. We got a little money for that. That's all anybody ever wants. That's all a man wants. That's all he's asking for. Help me lead. I'm gonna do it, but you got to help me out. Don't just sit back there twitching your thumbs on on TikTok talking, "Oh, well, you said you the leader, so I'm going to let you be the leader. What you doing, leader?" Don't do that. You know, you're not supposed to be doing that. You know that ain't right. Help that man out.
So y'all, my girlfriend is in his restaurant on a first date, but you know, she don't really know him like that. So, I'm about to pull up and go sit at the bar just so I can, you know, peep the scene, scope the scenery out, you know, watch what's going on. But we going to act like we don't know each other. We going to act like we don't know each other. So I'mma try to play it off. Let's see if he catch on. I'mma be honest. I don't know if he caught on or not. But I had a ball spying on them. Not going to lie. They went to this restaurant called Mojave. I think that's how you pronounce it. And y'all already know one thing about your girl. I'mma find a mirror anywhere I go. Like in real life, I really stay in the mirror, y'all. I just love me. Anyway, I sat at the bar. He was sitting with his back turned to me. So I actually had a great view. I just knew I was going to have a time when I seen it was happy hour. And to make it even better, my friend was sneaking and sending drinks on his tag. So yeah, cheers to that. We love a generous cane. I mean, kind of sort of. We kind of scammed, but girl, I didn't eat nothing all day, so I had to put something in my stomach. When I tell y'all this guac and chips was so good, I'm going back just for that. Day date ended up turning into a solo date, and I was having so much fun, I had to remember what I was there for. So, yeah, y'all peep me scoping the scenery out. My girl was over there blushing real hard. I'm like, "All right, she cool." And as if that margarita then already had me lit, she sent me another one. They wrapped up the date and then she came over there and act like she was surprised to see me and she didn't know I was here. And then Pear pressured me to finish drinking this. So, yeah, that's what I did. And child, this was the lightest tab I ever seen in my life. I was so happy. I'm dropping. How was your day? Great.
I don't think I necessarily have a problem with you going in there and checking on your friend. You seem to stay out of the way pretty well, not get too much in their business. I think more so maybe for you and for her. Y'all shouldn't be put even though it's happy hour, right? But I don't know if you guys should be putting things on his his dime, on his tab. Like, she's out on a date with him. I think that's where integrity and respect comes in. She's on the date with him. There's no need for her to be out here sneaking drinks to you and then making him pay for it. I don't know if that makes any sense. If you were to find out that a man was doing that, you would have wanted him to ask. [Music]