Transcription
So, we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gatriots, patriots, black triots, brown triots, and any other triots that we're missing out. Just know that we're here for you. We love you. And every single triple Trumper, we've obviously spoken about the administration. I just want to go at everyday Trumpers. Just the everyday Americans that vote for Trump and still defend him. Defend him can do what? Pumps off. Pumps. What have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with, and I mean I was so incensed. There was smoke coming out of my ears. I've had it with is when people bring their toddler to a primarily adult event and expect other people in the stadium to babysit their child while they're drinking and having a ball. Their kid is running around and everybody else in the section is responsible for this child because the parents.
Okay. So, what happened? Game seven of the Thunder game. We lost the Western Conference Finals. Western Conference Finals. Big game. These people sit down. Within the first quarter, this little girl spilled three drinks. And I just want to say this little girl is adorable. So, we had to bring everybody down to clean it up three times, which means you can't see, but that's fine. It's fine to bring. How old? What age are we talking about here? Two. She had a pacifier. So, two. Pacifier at game seven. Okay. Okay. Then she started getting antsy. They load her up with cotton candy and then they just set her loose and she's walking up and down the stairs. She's hanging on the like the things that you hold like the the rail that you hold. You know the little flashers they have attached to the hole. She's licking it. Perfect. The girl in front of me, she must have played peekaboo with her for two quarters. Enabler. Enabler. The NBA people, they were from the NBA because they had on their NBA gear. They walked down, they pulled the usher up and they said, "This, we can't have this. This is unacceptable. This is unacceptable." Mhm. Before they had even touched the court, the kid was back out there doing it. It got so bad at one point somebody from like eight rows up who I guess knows the family came and got the little girl and then she screamed and balled the entire fourth quarter. And here's the deal. This little girl could have burst into flames and the only people in the stadium that wouldn't have noticed would have been the row of her family. And I just thought, how entitled are you that you bring your child to an event? You ignore the child the entire time so that everybody else can babysit it. I have had it. I had had it with that whole thing. Other adults do not want to babysit your child at an adult event, whether it be a movie, a sporting event, a restaurant, unless you bring a babysitter. Do not bring your child. Get a babysitter at home. It was the most egregious lack of parental supervision that I have ever seen in my entire life.
Well, I was at that game as well. Um, and you were sitting across court from me. I did not see the toddler terrorist what you're speaking about, but it would it would infuriate me. I myself was screaming and balling through the fourth quarter. Um, but obviously there's a larger issue here and it is this uh there's this new trend with young moms and dads where they want to take their kid to everything. Yeah. And there's certain things your kid shouldn't go to. Like game seven of the NBA Western Conference Finals. If your child has a pacifier and wears a diaper. Yeah. It's utterly insane. And the way these parents, and I've seen this happen, they think their kid is so cute. So everybody does. Everybody does. They project that onto everybody else, which makes me hate a toddler, which is not a good position for the parents to put people in. And I hold the parents accountable. I think her days of terrorizing are only going to get worse. Yep. With parents that are not reigning this in. And if you can afford, you were in the lower bowl. You had great seats. Pumps. So if they're sitting by you, these were pricey tickets. If you can afford to go to game seven of the NBA Western Conference Finals, and watch Wimi, an extraterrestrial, kick the Thunder's ass, you can afford a babysitter. Not to mention the time. This game starts at night. These kids need to be in bed. I I completely agree with you on this. I've had it with toddlers, but I've more so had it with parents. Agree. That enable toddlers. And then whoever the sports fan was at the game that was playing peekaboo with the kid, it gave it lulled the parents into this false sense of security that the child was entertaining and everybody thought the child was cute. And I think that we as a unit are, you know, the I hipsters here, we need to let parents know, and I don't care how cute that kid is. We have to resist and adult restaurants, adult sporting events. We have to resist enabling. We have to literally look at the child as though it has Ebola.
Well, let me tell you what I did. She came over to do pee with me and I looked at her and looked at her mother and I go, "No." What did her mother do? She didn't care cuz the girl in front of me was babysitting her. Were they sitting in front of you or behind you? They were across the aisle from me down one row. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's I I've I've had it with that by proxy. I don't like this child, but more than anything, I don't like those parents. I just think it's when people have to pay that much money to go to these basketball games and you bring a toddler. It's not Chuck-E-Cheese. It's not the playground. It's not a ball pit. You can't do that. No. If we were at the zoo, I would expect it. I'd probably play peekaboo, but we're not at the zoo. Let's not get carried away, pumps. True. Fair. Let's not. Yeah, let's not let's not get carried away. I could not get over it. Probably part of my eye was that the Thunder was losing, but by the time the game was over, I was just my head was spinning.
This happened to me recently. at a recent basketball game. There's a kid sitting in front of us grandstanding. Um uh had no business being there, turning around making eye contact with everybody. Unsolicited eye contact. And that's the thing, these kids like laser lock on the people that they know like and kids always laser lock on me. And it a mother on an airplane, I play peekaboo. I do everything because I've been that young mother before. But I've never been the young mother that took a snotty-nosed toddler terrorist to an NBA basketball game. I would never do that. Never. Never. And I will just pull people at home. Surprise of all surprises, Jennifer Welch is a baby whisperer. I mean, legit baby. The kids like me. The kids like me. You can't. You You don't get to pick who loves you. And the kids love me. They do. You're just love. They really do. The kids see something in me that Pumps doesn't. Um um let me let's move on from these uh terrorists. Um I've had it with men getting rid of all their body hair and let me give you an example. I was recently with my husband for game seven and he likes to parade around the house with his low body fat topless and he shaved his armpits. Really? I just think it's a bridge too far. I mean, he's a Gen Xer. He's heterosexual. You know, there's just certain areas that men just need to have hair in my opinion. And I just I I just I think you got to have your armpit hair. He claims that there was some deodorant debris with the hair. Like deodorant debris caught in the hair. So, he just eliminated the arm hair. But what's so hilarious about it is we're sitting at the kitchen island eating and Roman, my youngest son, is the one that noticed and he's like, "Dad, did you shave your armpits?" Which was perfect, right? It's just getting trolled by your youngest son. So anyway, I just think the uh hair removal has gone a little bit overboard. We are We have hair. Mhm. It's just a part of it. I I just I think that everybody's going a little bit too hardcore on the hair removal, particularly men.
That's funny you say that because I was just watching a new show last night with my kids and I noticed the guy had no armpit hair and I just couldn't quite figure out and the guy was I mean older than us. He's an actor and don't don't Do you have a frog in your pocket when you say older than us? Well, I mean like I think in the 60s not 50s, right? I just want to make sure that listener any new listener we have knows that I'm significantly too and I am solidly significantly younger than uh I didn't know how I felt about it. It kind of gave me the that's kind of how I felt when I saw it. I just thought how what what are we doing here? What are we doing? What are we doing? What why are we shaving off all our hair? Like what's going on there? And I just find Josh's reasoning somewhat suspect. Like get in the shower, wash your armpit hair. I doubt. Here's the deal. It's not believable because we know we know that with Josh there are two speeds. Accelerator smashed to the floorboard of the car or screeching on the brakes. Those are the only two speeds this man has. And it all started that afternoon at Best Buy when he got the Manscaping consultation at Best Buy to Manscape. And he now he's catching up for lost time because he was like, "How am I the most vain person in the world, you know, that takes care of every little aspect of my body just now discovering manscaping." So now we're going overboard. Yeah. Peruge and we're shaving the armpit hair. And you know, Josh doesn't listen to the podcast, but something miraculous is happening. So, a lot of people in Oklahoma City listen to the podcast. So, when Josh is at the courthouse or at a restaurant or the gym, people go up to him with updates about me talking behind his back on the podcast. So to my friends out there that listen and run into Josh Welch in Oklahoma City, walk up to him and say, "God damn it, Josh. Grow your armpit hair back for sake." Yeah. No, I because he won't listen to this episode. And who can blame him? But um anyway, all right. Welcome to I've had it, America's top DEI podcast. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Uh Kylie is here. Kylie, what kind of reviews do we have for today?
I've got some good ones today. The first one is five stars titled Thank You Ladies and Green Colorado says, "You two bring me back to being a little gay gossiping with my aunties as a child. It's so refreshing to hear no common sense intertwined with a deep love and respect for each other. The podcast makes me so happy. Please keep it up." How nice. Green Colorado. Love it. Right back at you. Yeah. It's good. All right. Do we have another one? We do. This one is pump up the genen. Five stars from Adrina and she says, "I have a 16-month-old in the midst of kid jail and listen all the time. My husband picked up talking points to bring to his Trump public Trumpan co-workers. I wanted a political podcast that was about that fight fight. But for real, I want to join these ladies on the patio chairs, put gloves on, and smoke a sig while calling out people in power and holding them accountable. Jennifer has the ability to predict the future and surprisingly not gloat. I don't know if that's true. That's totally not true. I think she's being facitious. I think she's totally being facitious there. I think that's dead pan humor via a review. I would never get over the fact that I predicted an attempted assassination in response to bad polling. So glad I found my community of consensual ball grabbers and look forward to these ladies leading the charge and smacking these politicians around when the time comes for government to correct, prosecute, and guard rails to be rebuilt. The rapid fire questions to politicians. Jen's efficiency at the finest. Jen pumps and crew love you all."
I'll tell you what, when I saw that ball grabbers, y'all know what I thought about. Let's say it all together. Matt Schlap. Matt Schlap, the conservative Christian and his wife, Mercedes Schlap, that gets all liquored up and sexually assaults conservative men. We will never quit talking about it. Matt Schlap. And I just sometimes I just want you to call me and just say Schlap the way you say it. Matt Schlap. Schlap. Yeah. Matt Schlap and Mercedes are praying through all of his sexual assault allegations. It's interesting. It's just interesting that he's always grabbing penises for an alleged heterosexual when he gets liquored up. It is interesting. Some interesting. Some might say he's in the closet. Yeah. I don't think we can confuse sexual predators with homosexuality. No, no, no. I wasn't saying that, but obviously he doesn't like Mercedes as much as he likes penises. And I think when rubber hits the road, we're not thinking about anything on Mercedes. 1 million%. I think we might be thinking about Yeah. Yeah. Men in Mercedes. Yeah, agree. Um, okay. I have an update regarding the beagles that we have been covering um from uh Ridgland Farms or Wrigland. Wriglland, Ridgeland, I can't remember how to say it. Anyway, okay. So, they rescued 1,500 of these beagles and they received national media attention. 650 dogs remain inside the laboratory and July 1 is now approaching and advocates believe this may actually be the most critical moment for these beagles yet. Many people understandably assumed assumed that the story ended once the rescue faced uh once the rescue headlines surfaced. But in reality, there is very little public transparency about what will happen to these remaining animals. Advocates and volunteers are increasingly increasingly concerned. I'm sorry, listener. I was really tongue tied today. If negotiations fail, the 650 beagles could be quietly transferred to another facility, sold through brokers or resellers, euthanized, or kept at Wrigland for future in-house research contracts. So, here's what everybody needs to do. Here is a list of action items. If you're in Wisconsin or if you're just a human being that cares about innocent little beagles, call Governor Tony Evers, the governor of Wisconsin, and his phone number is 6082661212 to request an executive order directing the remaining dogs to shelters before July 1st. Again. Governor Tony Evers, release an executive order immediately to save these beagles. We're all having to deal with all this abuse of MAGA and all these pedophile protectors. Can you at least I believe this guy's a Democrat. Can't you at least save these beagles and not bend over to this corporation that abuses little beagles? Again, Governor Tony Ever's phone number is 6082661212. I hipsters assemble. Flood the phone lines. Tell this MFER this is one good thing bipartisanship that we can have in the United States. We have got to get these 600 something beagles. Listener, think about how much you love your dog or your cat. These beagles have lived in these little cages and they're they fall prey to all forms of abuse and we have to get them released. So, that's just a little update on the beagles.
Now, we're going to move on to some stories that I want to share with pumps. Listener, I don't know about you, but when I get home from work, I like to wind down, put on my PJs, and then nestle up with a throw blanket. And the quality, the texture, the weight of the throw blanket is so important to me. I've been particular about this my whole life. And I'm happy to share with you I have found my number one favorite blanket from Lola Blankets. Lola is the world's number one blanket crafted with ultra soft luxury faux fur and a signature four-way stretch that completely sets it apart. It's machine washable, double hemmed for durability, and stays flawless. No peeling, no shedding even after repeated washes. So, listener, get this. Not only is it perfect around your body, when I leave, I throw mine up, throw it over the back of the sofa, and it looks stylish and chic. So, for a limited time, our listeners can get 40% off select Lola Blankets products with code hatit at checkout. Just head to lola blankets.com and use code hadit to get 40% off your order. And after you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know that we sent you. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola blankets.
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All right, pumps. A Tik Tok creator named Anoir White coined a term called catching print. Okay, you got it. Catching print. Say it. Pumps. Catching print. Nailed it. Catch. A trend. Okay. A trend where women and gay men try to estimate a man's penis size by reading the outline through his pants. He broke down how he has this down to a science in a viral Tik Tok with over 8 million views. Pumps get locked in. Here's the Tik Tok. Oh, yay. Okay, girl. So, here's the guide to catching print cuz the girls couldn't see it, so I want you to see it. We have three types. Type A, type B, type D. Type A is where the peak is above the actual mid inseam. Right? This is like your 4 to 6 in. And then you have type B, which is right at the middle to the bottom of the inseam in the in the middle actual like diagram. This will give you 6 to 8 in. And then the D type, it's either flat like a Kindle or it's rounding out like a little banana. That's type D. That's 8 in or more, sweetie. Do you hear me? This is the review that you need. Save this video so you can always come to it. Screenshot this so that you can always have this as a quick reference guide.
All right. So moving along with this great research here by Annoir White. I mean this is the type of scientific study that we are laser focused on and everybody knows our size queen pumps who hasn't been laid in at least 5,437 days is laser focused on all of this. Women Angie have declared a winner of the can catching print and um let's compare what a liberal man looks like. Here's John Ham. And if you can see how that is, that's the D. It's below. So, we're looking at an 8 in plus situation here. This is a liberal man. Never voted for Trump and now an alpha clearly. Now, let's compare John Ham's giant monster to that of JD Vance. Pop this up. I can't even it invisible. This looks like it's above mid here. I'm thinking I'm thinking with this is a 3 to 4 incher is my estimation. Kylie, will you enter that into the permanent record? Next up, we have Lady Graham. Oh boy. Uh this is definitely above mid here. Oh my god, Lady Graham. No wonder he's a bottom allegedly. Um I I mean I'm going three inches here. I think this explains a lot. All the chicken hawk talk that he does. I now we know. It's obvious. Let's go ahead and take a look at uh the queen of America, Donald Trump. Do we have a crotch? Oh wow. Yeah, Stormy Daniels was right about that. Let's let's take a gander at Ted Cruz's crotch. Oh yeah, this is the these are very these are micro penises for sure. I think that all of their lined up in a row would be as large as John Ham's penis in my opinion. And finally, let's check out Moses Mike Grinder. Oh, there's little Grinder. Oh, yeah. That's way above mid. Way above. Way above mid. Now that I saw that, I can't unsee it. I'm going to every man I look at, it's going to be right there.
All right. So, as you can imagine, pumps, the men are not coping well with a newfound public focus on their size. And the New York magazine just published a deep dive into the panic. Popped this up. The big little penis panic in the age of looks maxing. Trump and Catching Print, which we all just learned together as a class what catching print is. Men have seized on an enduring anxiety with new energy. And let's do a uh here we go. Here's the part of the article. I live in fear of someone saying I have a small penis, says John, a 30-year-old aspiring actor. There have been so many cultural signals in my life that say there's something special about having a big penis. That's long been the case for men, but it's true we've never been more comfortable talking about size. People are disconnecting from reality. Whether it's from looks maxing, social media, dating apps, or porn, says Evan Goldstein, a Manhattan surgeon. Tik Tok is filled with young men talking about porn addiction, masturbation, addiction, and Viagra use, which has never been more in demand, especially among younger generations. In a survey on penis size conducted in February, 67% of respondents admitted to lying about their size. Notably, Gen Z reported the lowest confidence in their penises. Men don't know they're normal, says Dr. David Schaefer, a Midtown plastic surgeon who specializes in penis augmentation. I have to reassure a lot of guys, he says. They come in and they're average or above average, but they think that they're smaller. In the past few years, Schaefer says he has filled 5,000 men who often keep their work private. The inquiries come in at 2 in the morning. I imagine they're in bed wondering, "How can I increase my manhood?" According to Chris Bamante, who runs a girth enhancement clinic, the majority of his patients are average size. The men he sees, he says, are rarely seeking to enhance their performance in the bedroom. Rather, they're simply looking to look bigger. The finance bros in the locker room, the gay guys in their speedos on Fire Island. Both want to look as packed as John Ham while walking down the street in their sweatpants. It's something you can't talk about, says Steven Snider, a sex therapist and relationship therapist. It's like a low IQ. It just happens sometimes. in his patients with small penises. He says he's observed Napoleon complexes and what he calls uh compensatory masculinity. Generally, they're miserable. You can be the best orange in the world, he says somewhat blindly, but if they want a banana, it's not going to work.
So, several things to unpack here. First and foremost is I love this for me. Our whole lives, how big are your boobs? Do you have cellulite? Do you have a gut? Um, do you have a thigh gap? Is your, you know, ass high and tight enough? Is your vagina tight enough? It's constant. It's a constant onslaught. Furthermore, Gen Z is the first generation that has had unmitigated access to porn. And all of the porn addicts, it's my understanding, and maybe Pumps can help fill in here, are pretty well endowed. So, I can imagine they feel rather insufficient if they're watching porn all the time, you know, with all these monster going crazy on their phone. Yeah. Porn actors. You mean porn actors have big dicks? Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Okay. Here's the thing. I have been saying the compensator, they're overcompensating. I have been saying that for so many decades now. Monster truck, big tires on a truck, a sports car, like a bright orange t-shirt with an eagle and a grenade, right? And so now everybody's learning that not the sex therapist finally just said it out loud. We've got a cult of men with small penises and they love Trump because they think he has a big penis. The Stormy Daniels said it's a neb. So, I I love this that we're finally talking about this um that the science has caught up with my theory. I mean, my son and I were driving by. There was a bright orange Lamborghini on Sunday. We were driving by go, "What does that car tell you about that guy?" And he goes, "I know, Mom. A small penis." And I was like, "I'm just glad you know. I'm just glad you can spot it from the road." So, yeah, this has obviously been happening for decades. And I'm so glad it's now in print. We have scientific people saying it's true.
So, one woman interviewed for the article says, "Talking about men's bodies feels like women's reparations and asks of men, what did you expect when you created this hellscape?" And I would even take it further and say, "What did you expect when you voted for Trump?" And you have, as Angie mentioned, all of these big trucks with big giant flags in them with trunk truck nuts hanging off of them. And everybody has to wear their big boy t-shirts where you have the American flag with the black line through it or the American flag with the blue line through it. You can't just live. No, I I support Law and Order. You have to, you know, put it all over your clothes and you have to have the eagle and all the in your bio. Your bio is the Trump Trump thing. And also, when you vote for a man that gave a microphone a on the campaign trail and wears a full face of makeup every day and you think he's so alpha and you watch Fox News and you think Jesse Waters and Greg Gutfeld are alpha, the only conclusion the rest of us normal people can draw is that you all have micro penises. Steven Miller being the the ring leader of the Micropene brigade. I mean, when I think of when I think of micro pains, I think of Steven Miller. Like you said, like Greg Gutfield, he needs a bra. He's constantly talking about how ugly women are, how women need to do this. Donald Trump constantly calling people ugly and fat. I'm like, I don't get it. Do these people not have mirrors at their houses? That's my first thought. Like, does Donald Trump not have a mirror? He is clearly obese and all he talks about is fat people. I'm like, are you kidding me? This is what psychiatrists call delusions of grandeur. Yeah. That's the.
All right. In response to this, some men are taking matters into their own hands. Pop this up. Ball maxing. The risky new trend where men are inflating their balls. Men are injecting saline into their testicles to make them look bigger, inflating their scrotums from normal size to as large as grapefruits. The effect lasts 24 to 42 hours before the fluid is reabsorbed by the body. Doctors warn it's quite dangerous, potentially causing infection and long-term damage to the male genitalia. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. You know, I they've been giving injections in the vagina for years. Like Really? What kind of injections? Like G-spot injections where like fills up your G-spot so you can have a better orgasm. Cuz like 10 years ago, my girlfriend goes, "Oh, so and so, for Valentine's Day, they got me a like the G-spot thing where you have to get up on all fours and they put a syringe in your clitoris to in like make it bigger so that you have more accessible orgasms." And I was just like, "That is not a gift for you. That is a gift for him because that is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard being given to Valentine's Day." Of course, they broke up like 6 months after. But the whole point is, I'm glad they're getting their penises filled up. I'm glad they're doing all this because we've been doing all this forever. And I just want to say this, too. I want more information on how we're maxing girth enhancements, but that's a podcast for a different day. I know we had that jerking or whatever, lifting the penis, but I would I just be fascinated to know what those are.
I want to circle back to your friend that had her clitoris injected up on all fours. Yeah. Doggy style like they go in from behind. So, she was at the gynecologist's office on all fours or her boyfriend did this for her. And Why doggy style? It's like filler. It was her Botox lady. She had her clitoris injected with facial filler. I don't know what kind of filler, but it was the Botox lady. I know. I remember this story very well. I don't know if it was I think it was Was this person in your Bible study? Was she a Christian lady? Been my friend for 40 years. Longtime college friend. Okay. And she had her clitoris injected. Mhm. Cuz that's what her boyfriend got her for Valentine's Day. Kylie, can you are you Do we know anything about this? Okay. A G-spot injection is a cosmetic gynecology procedure that involves injecting hyaluronic acid or platelet rich plasma into the anterior vaginal wall. It aims to enlarge and amplify the Graphenburgg spot, the G-spot to potentially enhance sexual sensitivity and intensify orgasms at a glance. What is it? Injection of temporary dermal fillers like collagen or hyaluronic acid or autologous fat in the G-spot. I never heard about any of this. Nor did I know Graphenburgg was for G until today. We've learned. I just thought this whole time it was G-spot. I didn't know it was somebody's last name that it was named after. And did this was this effective for her? No, I think she said it did work. It did. She quite enjoyed it. So, this was a boyfriend that bought it for her or her husband? Yeah. Boyfriend. It was her first post divorce boyfriend. that bought it for her. But I I mean I don't Was she excited about this? Was she was she insulted? Like I would would Is this when somebody gives you a gift like that is that kind of like you're a bad lady, right? Like you're not coming hard enough. Is that what that means? That's what I That's how I took it. I don't know that she took it that way. But the next question I have is why do you think this shot has to be administered with the patient in doggy style and not just like normally with your feet in the stirrups? These are just technical questions I need answers to. I don't know. Did I don't think your Botox lady normally has stirrups. I've never noticed them, but I mean I've never gone for this kind of shot. It just seems like doggy style versus spread eagle. It seems like spread eagle on the back would be more conducive to accessing the what was it called the Gooffenberg spot. Accessing the G-spot. Yeah, it seems like doggy style might not be as conducive as a spread eagle. That's just I might take and then did the filler wear out or is she still continuing to have these incredible orgasms that her ex-boyfriend got? This was like this was years and years and years ago, probably 10 years ago. So, I don't think she she never re-uped it. So, it must not have been that great. I mean, if it was really like, oh my gosh, life-changing difference in sex.
All right, listen. Have you noticed online that everybody is talking about lymphatic drainage? Here's the thing. A lot of the remedies for this are super expensive like a lymphatic draining massage or you're using dry brushing, ice rollers, recovery treatments, and influencers are talking about debloating. And so I'm like, that just sounds like it's too much. And this is why I'm obsessed with the Life Pro Waiver vibration plate. I kept seeing people using vibration plates online and honestly I was like, "These look totally ridiculous." But once I actually understood how it works, it made perfect sense. Your lymphatic system has no pump. It only works when your body moves. The wellness world is charging hundreds of dollars for manual lymphatic drainage sessions. This is a one-time investment that does the same thing at home anytime you want it. It's not just theory. Clinical studies have shown that vibration therapy made manual lymphatic drainage work better. This isn't some random wellness trend. There's actual science behind why it works. So listener, for a limited time, our listeners can get $20 off the waiver vibration plate plus free shipping with code hadit at lifeprofitness.com. That's lifeprofitness.com and use code hadit for $20 off. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know that we sent you.
What would you say if you were dating somebody pumps and for Valentine's Day you opened up and it's a gift card and it says you have to go get on all fours and get hyaluronic acid crammed up your uh clitoris. What up your What what would you say to that man? I would say off. No, I would immediately break up because I'm like, if you are sending me this signal, then we just probably shouldn't be together because it's just absolutely t more than I can take to doll up and have sex with you. And now you want a G-spot filler. Like, I'm out. Kylie, how would you feel if you were if Anna came and bought you s such a gift? How would the lesbians feel about such a thing? I would be pissed. Yeah. Me too. I think it's really insulting. Imagine what she should have done is then went and got him a penis pump or like something to put on top of it to make it A birth enhancement. A birth enhancement shop. That's what I think. Like if I would be like, "Thank you, but no thanks. I'm going to take you to get a penal implant cuz that's the problem. This is a you problem." Her spot%. Maybe your dick is so little that it couldn't hit the G-spot and that there in lies the problem. Do they have dick extenders, too? Yeah. Seems like we know that. Yeah, we know a lot. We know a lot more than I thought we would from this podcast. We really do. I didn't know about this people getting their their G-spot injected with fillers. No. Yeah. Always ahead of the science, girls. You are. Yeah. Wow. I do remember very recently somebody talking about an Oshot, but I it was a casual conversation and I do mean an OOTTO. That was mentioned in here. There's a Gshot and an OOTTO. The OOT is an orgasm shot. Okay, go on. It's taken from your own They take plasma from your own blood injected in the clitoris and in the vagina and in the area of the Graphenberg spot. graphic all the erotic zones and it is repeated annually. I thought you were about to say anally. Do you think we have anal shots? I we do. Let's see. What are gay men doing? You said yeah. Perfect. Oh my god. Fillers aren't for your face. Anal Botox often referred to as wholetox or buttox. Botox. Buttox um it relaxes. Is this what you're talking about? It relax It relaxes both the internal and external anal sphincter muscles. So it reduces tightness. Would you want that though? Really? I mean because what if you Yeah. I mean diarrhea. Propose the question. You're worried about diarrhea. Yeah. Like unrelated to sex. I would just worry that if I got it too relaxed, it would be worse. Your pants again. Yeah. Be worse than it already is. How many times do you think you your pants in public? In public? Like in my garage driving home? One million. Uh public. Public have to think about it. Maybe once or twice. How many times did you in your car in a cup? Well, in a cup only once, but how many times have I like almost been to the house and in my car? 50 to 70 to 100. 150. Really? It's like I pull into my neighborhood and I. Let me ask you this. If somebody could if I could get you a gift injection Yeah. That would prevent that, would you take that as an insult? No. To keep me from Yeah. Would you be all in on that? I would be so grateful. Yeah. I would be very grateful to not have to worry about in my car. I'm just really concerned about this man that gave a woman he was dating without ever. Did she say he was this great lady? Do we have more details about this guy? Did he have a large penis? I I really Was he good in the sack or was he trying to skirt the system? Purged up a bunch of money on her credit card. Of course he did. Of course he did. He stole money from her. Uhhuh. Yeah, that's who he was. So that that about tracks. Wow. Yeah, that's that surprises me. Zero. See, I think this that whole thing is him skirting the system. Yeah. He doesn't know how to have sex to do it. And so he read online like how to give a woman an orgasm easy. And then he falls in the trap of that shot. And then he's trying to skirt the system as he tried to skirt the system when he charged up her credit card. Yeah. And I do know she was not insulted when she got the gift. That I'm just putting that out there. She was not and she enjoyed it afterwards for a while, I guess. Yeah, that's interesting. Um, all right. I think we have time to take a voice memo. Kylie.
Okay. Up first we've got Derek. Hello, Jessica Beaver, Lesie, and Straight Guy. Um, Gatriot Derek here reporting in from an HR perspective on people pissing all over bathrooms. Um, I was just listening to that and I've had it um of all the signs in bathrooms of people pissing and all over the place apparently. Um, I've been working in HR for over a decade at this point. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with this kind of stuff as much as I used to, but one of our offices had a uh poopetrator. It was actually a piss trader, I guess. Um, literally there were a lot of complaints about this guy that would just like pee on the floor next to the urinals. What? And we had no idea why. Um, a lot of his co-workers decided to put like targets in the urinal, like a bullseye, and that didn't that didn't seem to work. Um, so yeah, I I'm not quite sure what it is. We never quite got to the bottom of it of whether it was a there was there was no underlying issues that we could figure out as far as disability or anything like that goes, but um I think eventually shame um worked. So yeah. Yeah, I think the answer is is shame. So, let let's keep that up in uh 2026, the year of our Lord.
Derek, I love that. And I do I mean, Pumps and I have been saying this for a long time. Shame is is a valuable tool. Yes. Yeah. It it's important when somebody does something shameful that they feel shame. You can't stay in shame forever. That's unhealthy. But you need to feel the shame when you're doing shameful things like voting for Trump three times for example. I think they should feel shame. That's my personal opinion. Angie, here's the thing on that. I completely agree. You have to shame these people. But I think if it were my company and I had a person that kept peeing on the floor next to the urinal, nanny cam, huh? Nanny cam. At a Well, no, you can't nanny cam in a bathroom. But if it kept happening and I had M's made, you know, called everybody in was like, "Hey, if we can't hit the urinal and we continue to pee on the floor where it's clear we're doing all of our peeing on the floor, like I'm sorry, you can't work here. It's not the other people." Fire. I think fire. I agree. I think if somebody's pissing on the floor, flopping their dick around and just, you know, fire, you know, water hosing around, I think they got to go. I think they immediately. I mean, it's not safe for your other employees. What if they slip? It's not safe. It's not safe. So. It's not safe. You can't have somebody operating their penis like a water hose in the in the bathroom. You just can't like we have to draw the line places.
All right, listen guys, we got to go today. Pumps and I have a very important uh phone call that we have to take. But in what I'm doing here, y'all probably saw me, those that are watching. I was busy writing things. I am signing little copies because my book is at print. And these are the pre-autographed and I'm personally signing them here as I'm podcasting because I have to multitask. See that right there? See that? You want to see another one? Watch this. Look at that right there. Another one. I have to do literally thousands of these. Thousands. Not thousands. I think it's like 1,000. But it takes quite a lot of time. Yeah. But the book is called Not Today Fascist. And I would like to dedicate this book to all of the A-grade crotches in the what was it called? Printing. Catching print. Um I believe it was Trump, JD Vance, Lindsey Graham, Little Grinder, and then just a shout out to John Ham. Yeah. Just a big shout out. We here at I've had it. Love you, John Ham. Particularly Angie who is a diehard size queen to her core. Yeah. And shout out to the uh the guy on Tik Tok that gave us the diagram of how to call it. Love it. It's great. Yeah, that's a great Tik Tok. He's doing great work. I love somebody. That's excellent. A+ being a human right there. That's just great. I love it. All right, make sure you like. Make sure you subscribe. Make sure you comment. Make sure you go and pre-order my book, Not Today Fascist. And we will see you all later. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that.