Transcription
e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e good morning family. If you're not already, can you stand with us and let's put our hands together for the Lord. Amen.
This time of worship in the morning is just simply time for us to lift up our own offering of worship to God. He wants to hear your voice. He knows who you are and what you're doing and how you're doing, and he wants his kids to lift up praise to him. Amen.
So, Father, we thank you for this time, Lord. And we pray that you'd get all the glory, Lord, as your children lift up our praises to you. Pour out your Spirit. In Jesus name, we pray. We all said, amen.
Let's sing together, family. We worship. We worship the God who was. We worship the God who is. We worship the God who evermore will be. He opened the prison doors. He parted the raging sea. Our God, he holds a victory. There's joy in the house of the Lord. There's joy in the house of the Lord today. And we won't be quiet. We shout out your praise. There's joy in the house of the Lord. Our God is surely in this place. And we won't be quiet. We shout out your praise. Oh, oh, oh. We shout out your praise.
Lift up your praise to the King, Church. We sing to the God he. We sing to the God who saves. We sing to the God who always makes a way. 'Cause he hung up on that cross, then he rose up from that grave. My God still rolled the stone away. Destroyed. There's joy in the house of the Lord. There's joy in the house of the Lord today. And we won't be quiet. We shout out your praise. There's joy in the house of the Lord. Our God is surely in his way. And we won't be quiet. We shout your praise. We shout out your praise.
Yeah, we were the beggars. We were the bers. Now we're royalty. We were the prisoners. Now we're running free. We are forgiven, accepted, redeemed by His grace. Let the house of the Lord sing praise. Come on, sing this movie. We were the B now we're royalty. We were the prisoners now we're running free. We are forgiven, accepted, redeemed by His grace. Let the house of the Lord sing praise.
Joy. There's joy in the house of the Lord. There's joy in the house of the Lord today. And we won't be quiet. We shout out your praise. There's joy in the house of the Lord. Our God is surely in it. And we won't be quiet. Oh, we shout out your praise. Let joy in the house of the Lord. There's joy in the house of the Lord today. And we won't be quiet. We shout your praise. There's joy in the house of the Lord. Our God is surely in his place. And we won't be quiet. Oh, we shout your praise. Oh, we shout out your praise. Oh, we shout your praise. We shout your praise. Shout your praise.
Can any saints give God a shout of praise this morning for He is worthy to be praised? Amen. Church, praise you, Lord. Thank you, Lord.
[Music] [Applause]
Amen. Amen. Let's keep singing the Lord, Church. Everything that has praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. I'll praise in the valley. I'll praise on the mountain. Oh, I praise when I'm short. I praise when I'm doubted. I praise when I'm number. I praise surrounded. Oh, 'cause praise is the water my enemy shed. As long as, as long as I'm breathing, I got a reason. The Lord of my soul. Praise the Lord. Oh, my praise when I feel it. I praise when I don't feel it. And I praise when I don't. Amen to that. Oh, I praise 'cause I know that you're still in control through it all. Oh, oh, 'cause praise is a weapon. It's more than a sound. Oh, my praise is the shout that brings strongholds down. As long as I'm breathing, I got a reason. The Lord of my soul. Yes, the Lord of my soul. I won't be quiet. I won't be quiet. My God is alive. How could I keep it? [Applause] [Music] inside. Lord. Oh, my soul. Oh, my [Music] soul.
Anybody grateful to be alive and well this this morning, able to bring praise to the King this morning? Oh, we choose to praise. Praise you. Praise 'cause you. Praise 'cause you rose and defeated the grave. I praise 'cause you're faithful. Praise 'cause you're true. Praise 'cause there's nobody greater than you. I praise 'cause you're sovereign. Praise 'cause you. Praise 'cause you rose and defeated that grave. I praise 'cause you're faithful. Praise 'cause you're true. Praise 'cause there's nobody greater than you. Praise the Lord. Oh, my soul. Sing it out. Praise the Lord. Oh, my [Music] soul. The Lord of my soul. [Music] [Applause] the Lord for my soul. I won't be quiet. I won't be quiet. My God is alive. How could I keep it inside? I won't be quiet. My God is alive. How could I keep it? I won't be quiet. I won't be quiet. My God is alive. How could I keep it inside? I'm going to the Lord. Oh, my soul. Oh, my [Music] soul. Oh, my [Music] soul.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Let everything that has praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. That everything that has that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. We praise the Lord. Everything that is breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Amen. [Music]
This song is called a b. My waking breath, from my waking breath, for my daily bread. Oh, I depend on you. Yes, I depend on you. For the sun to rise, for my sleep at night, I depend on you. Yes, I depend on you. The way, the truth, and the light. You're the well that never runs dry. I'm the branch and you are the vine. Draw me close and teach me to [Music] abide. Where the spirit [Music] as I'm [Music] follow. Oh, I depend on you. Oh, I depend on you. For the victory still in front of me. Who I depend on you? Yes, I depend on you. The way, the truth, and the light. Oh, the well that never runs dry. I'm the branch, say you are the vine. Draw me close and teach me to abide. Be my stay, my song in the night. Be my hope, my treasure, my price. I am yours forever, your mine. Draw me close and teach me to [Music] abide.
When I pass through death, as I [Music] enter. I depend on you. Yes, I depend on you. For return all life to be raised with Christ. Oh, I depend on you. Depend on you. Go the way, the truth, and the light. Oh, the well that never runs dry. I'm the you are the vine. Draw me close and teach me to abide. Be my stay, my song in the night. In my hope, my treasure, my price. I am yours forever, you're mine. Draw me close and teach me to abide. [Music]
Oh, me. [Music] True. You're the that never runs dry. I'm the branch, you are the vine. Draw me close and teach me to abide. Be my strength, my s in the night. Be my oh, my treasure, my price. I am yours forever, you're mine. Draw me close and teach me to abide. Search the world, but it couldn't fail me. Man, empty praise, treasures of F, I never enough. Then you came along and put me back [Music] together. Every desire is now satisfied here in your love. Sing it, Church. Oh, there's nothing better than you. There's nothing better than you, Lord. There's nothing, nothing is better than you. Not afraid, so I'm not afraid [Music] to show you my weakness, Lord. You see, and you still call me. The God of the mountain, you're still the God of the valley. Amen. There's not a your mercy and grace won't find me. This better than you. There's nothing better than you, Lord. There's nothing, nothing is better than you, Lord. Is nothing better than you. There's nothing in no one, God, better than you, Lord. There's nothing, nothing is better than [Music] [Applause] you.
Morning, the dance turn. Morning dance. You give beauty, fresh. You turn shame into glory. You're the only [Music] world. You turn on into the. You give beauty for our sh. You turn shame into glory. You're the only one. [Music] Graces. God, you turn Bon into. You turn seeds into highways. You're [Music] be. You're [Music] be. Nothing. [Music] Nothing. Sing your [Music] family. You. Oh, there's nothing, nothing is better than you. Yeah. Oh, this nothing better than you. Oh, let us live like this. God better. You know, there's nothing, nothing is turn gra. Gard turn gra into g. [Music] Into SE into high. [Music] You turn God. You turn bones into our. You turn seeds into highways. You're the only world. You're the only world. You're the only [Music] Jesus. Oh, there's nothing better than you. There's nothing, God, better than you, Lord. There's nothing, no one, nothing is better than you. No, there's nothing, God, better than you. There's nothing better than you. There's nothing, nothing is better.
Jesus, we know that your word tells us that the satisfied soul even loathes the honeycomb. Oh, to be satisfied in you, [Music] Jesus. With the distractions that we choose to place in front of our eyes, Lord, or those that just surround us constantly, Lord, to be satisfied and consumed in you, Lord, knowing that there's nothing greater, no one greater, Lord. Would you do that work by your Holy Spirit, Lord? Thank you that we can be here in your presence, Lord, with one another to fellowship, to worship you, to receive your word today. God, have your way, Lord, this morning in us, Lord, and through us, God, for your glory. We pray in Jesus name. All God's people said, amen. Let's give the Lord the glory this morning, Church. Amen. Worthy to be praised. He is. You can have a seat this morning, family. Thank you for coming out and being here in the hall. Maybe you're watching outside in the patio, enjoying the morning. God bless you. Maybe you're watching online this morning. God bless you and thank you for joining us as well. Let's check out this morning's announcement video. Let's see what's coming up.
Welcome to Calvary Chapel Chino Valley. We have some exciting events coming up soon, so let's take a quick look at this week's announcements. Join us on November 27th for a Wednesday service where kids will learn about Jesus's forgiveness and discover how to respond with love and gratitude. There will be engaging teachings, lively worship, and fun activities for children from infant through 6th grade, including those with special needs. Participation is free, and kids can join in the fun during their 7:00 p.m. classroom service. Men, you're invited to play a game of flag football on Thanksgiving morning, November 28th, from 7:45 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. We welcome guys ages 15 and up to play. The games will take place at Ayala Park in Chino, and don't forget to wear your cleats. Signups are open now until the 24th. When a mom or dad goes to prison, their child may feel lonely and forgotten, especially around the holidays. Angel Tree is a program of Prison Fellowship that connects parents in prison with their children through the delivery of Christmas gifts and the gospel message in the name of their incarcerated parent. You can share the hope of Jesus with the hurting child in your community as you provide a Christmas present and a personal message of love on behalf of their parent in prison. If you would like to bless a child, stop by the Gazebo after service to receive your gift tag and remember to return your gift to the church by December 8th. Church family, come out and join us on Wednesday, December 11th, after the evening service for a Christmas celebration in the courtyard. We'll enjoy a special performance by our kids' choir along with delicious cookies, warm cocoa, and a wonderful time of community and fellowship. Join us on Wednesday, December 18th, for our 7:00 p.m. service as guest artists The Katinas return to Chino Valley for a time of worship. This special evening will be a wonderful way to celebrate the Christmas season by gathering together to worship our Lord and Savior. Our announcements offer just a glimpse of all the activities happening here at the church. To see a full list of our events and to register, visit our website at CalvaryCC.org. You can also access event registration plus online giving, current teachings, Pastor David's study notes, and more through our free church app. Just search for Calvary Chapel Chino Valley in the app store on your phone or tablet. As we prepare our hearts and minds for today's Bible study, please take a moment to place your smartwatch and cell phone on silent. You can also help us limit distractions by staying seated until service is over. Thank you for joining us and have a blessed week.
Well, good morning, church family, and welcome to Calvary Chapel Chino Valley. If this is your first time visiting us, we want to say welcome and God bless you. This is a time of our service where we worship the Lord through our tithes and offerings. But we have quite a number of announcements that I want to get through because we have so much going on. You know, this Friday, this, yes, day before yesterday, Friday evening and Saturday morning, we hosted our virtual tour. And there are going to be some pictures that are shown from that, and it was an amazing time. We had a, a tour guide that Pastor David has known for and Marie for 25 plus years, and they were, Pastor David and Marie's tour guide early on, and he came out, him and his wife, Tali, came out and they gave us a tour here in the sanctuary. And it was amazing because we had the screen here, and it was a lot of information. But that's just like Israel. You go to Israel, you're getting a lot of information. And Holland Davis led us in worship, and we just had a great time. It was Friday evening, and then Saturday morning, and then afterwards, we had a, a Mediterranean-style lunch, and it was, it was really good. I was really surprised. And, and we had a great time. You know, on Saturday, our kids ministry hosted their virtual tour, but it was more different from a screen here. They had their own experience, and they'll be showing pictures on this. And they had featured Bible characters like Mary and Joseph and John the Baptist, Peter, and they even had a Roman soldier. And what they've done was they were going to each place with a passport, and every location they went to, they would get stamped a passport to visiting a specific site. They also were able to purchase trinkets on their own using shekels to give the kids an idea what the monetary system is in Israel. And what they did was, not only were they have their passports, but what they did was they wrote themselves postcards and then they sent them. And so sometime this week, they'll receive them to remind them of the experience that they had in Israel. And so they'll be mailing these out in a couple of days, which will be a surprise for themselves as they receive and reinforce the memorable experience that they had in Israel. So with that, possibly thinking of a trip going in October of 20 to 2025. And so there's an interest list sign-up in the Gazebo. If you're interested, if there's an interest from the church, then we will, Pastor David will look more forward, will look more into getting more information and so on. Friday night, Saturday, we had people sign up for it just to show an interest. And if you're interested in going, please go to the interest to the Gazebo. If you don't know where the Gazebo's at, straight out these doors and you'll run right into it. And there's an interest sign-up there with the dates of October 13th to the 24th. October 24th. There's a possible itinerary out. But if you're interested in possibly going to Israel or want more information, I would encourage you, you know, being having this experience this weekend really stirred something up in myself, and it was just, I miss being there. So, just wanted to let you guys know that, you know, and because of this, this was a, behind the scenes, a bigger event. So, you know, I always want to thank our Pastor David for making this possible, bringing our, bringing, able to bring Ronnie here, our tour guide, and to bring Israel here for us. I want to give a thanks to Holland Davis, as he's pastoring his church this morning. The volunteers that came out, the servants that came out that made this happen was amazing to serve the food, to get everything set up, to rope off the area. We had certain sections roped off. To our tech team, our tech team did an amazing job making sure everything was flowing. You know, at first, you guys ever seen those Bruce Lee movies when they talk? And I was a little worried about that because at first it was like that, but the tech team dialed that in and they were able to have a great experience. You know, Bri and the kids ministry, I want to give them a, a shout out because they had their event, they made it happen. They had 38 volunteers that came to help with this event for our kids ministry virtual tour. So, a big thank you to that. And of course, I want to give a huge thank you to Marley Reese, who was a secretary that assisted myself and Pastor David in this, in this whole thing. It wasn't without her and her husband, David, it would have been very difficult to pull this off. So I want to give a shout out to Marley specifically for the work that she's done. Oh, amen. They'll be collecting offerings here in a few moments. You can bring that up to the front here. Just kidding, you guys. You know, because of what's going on in the Middle East, Pastor David has asked our tour guide, Ronnie, which who was here this weekend, to come on Wednesday evening and give him the service to share an update on Israel, what's going on in the Middle East, the conflict that's going on. And so we had scheduled to have communion this Wednesday. We're going to push that out to the following Wednesday, which will be the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. But Ronnie has created a video inviting you to our Wednesday evening service.
Hello, Chino Valley family. My name is Ronnie Simone. I'm an Israeli tour guide who lives and works in Israel when there is tourism. Under the current circumstances, I'm traveling quite a lot to the US to bring Israel to the Chapel family in this country. If you should be more familiar or more updated about what happens in the Middle East right now, I invite you to come Wednesday evening. We'll have a presentation of about an hour that speaks about current events in Israel. We do some cleanup, so much deception out there, so much disinformation. We need to focus on the facts, and that's my plan for Wednesday evening. See you then.
So, he'll be out here this Wednesday evening in the chapel, and that will be our time together, spending together. As mentioned, communion will be the following Wednesday, which will be the 27th. So, want to invite you guys to come out, to be with us for the Bible study as Pastor David will resume Hebrews, and then we'll have communion. Following footsteps of Paul, for those who are planning to go to footsteps of Paul, registration is closing really soon. And if you're wanting to go or thinking about going, I'd say register this week because registration will be closed pretty soon. And then remember last, last week, we had our veterans stand in honor of them to bring honor and tribute to their service in the military. What our church done was we came along the city of Chino, and the city of Chino was hosting an annual thank you for your service to the vets service at the city of Chino. And our church family had the opportunity to come alongside and fill out thank you cards to the vets that were there. And we were able to go out and hand these out into to the veterans who came to this event and just wanted to give a thank you for those who participated in this to demonstrate the love of Christ. We don't know who they are, but our church was able to get together and get behind them to honor them for their services. So then we had the privilege of delivering these, these cards to the veterans at the city of Chino's ceremonial day. So wanted to share that with you. In our men's gathering a week ago, we had a follow-up announcement for those guys that were there, and it's to follow up with the things that we learned at the men's gathering. Just a reminder for those who did sign up, the class starts tomorrow in the mini chapel, which is right out these doors and to your left at 7:00 p.m. And that's going to be a four-week class. Any of the men that were there or any of the men that want to take a look at this class, it's a four-week class designed for those guys that were at the men's gathering to now take our faith and put it into action. So that's going to be tomorrow in the mini chapel. It's going to be a four-week course, and that starts tomorrow at 7:00. And it's tamale time. I know you guys have been waiting for this. Tamales are for sale now, right at the out past the Gazebo. There's beef, chicken, chili cheese, and pork. So there's somebody warning out right now. No, wait till after service. There was a lot of, a lot of announcements. And so now, as we transition into the worshiping the Lord through our tithes and offerings, we remember that we take the time to worship the Lord for all the great things that He has not only done in our lives, but what He's done for our church and to be able to take ministry outside of these walls to bring glory and honor to the Lord. So, in an act of worship, we give back to the Lord. And so, in a moment, the ushers are going to come forward and pass on an Agape bucket. For those that are watching online on Facebook and YouTube, there's a link in the chat box that you can click on, and it opens up a page to give. For those that are want to give electronically, there are kiosks that are in the foyers. And then, as I always mentioned, in front of you, there's a QR code that you can take your phone out and take a picture of the QR code, and it takes you directly to our online giving. So, we see that there are many ways that we are able to worship the Lord. So, we're going to pray for the offering, and then we'll have another worship song. Let's pray.
Father, we're so thankful for the many things that are going on on campus, the privilege and opportunity to share your word, the opportunity to take the your word outside of these walls and share your love to a lost and dying world. And we're so thankful that we're able to come back here to worship you through song, and in a moment, through your word, and now through our giving. We ask, Lord, not only as an act of worship and gratitude from our hearts, but it's an act of worship that brings glory and honor to your name. Lord, we lift up our pastor this morning as he continues to teach us out of the Song of Solomon. May you anoint him, and may the words of your word and the Spirit transform our hearts and our minds. So, Lord, we love you this morning, and we praise you in Jesus name. Amen.
Blessed, blessed to those who run to Him, place their hopes and confidence in Jesus. They won't forsake them. Blessed are those who seek His face, bend their knee and fix their gaze on Jesus. They won't be shaken. Come on and praise the Lord with me. Sing if you love His name. Come on and lift your voice with me. He's worthy of all her [Music] praise. Blessed are those who walk with Him, who heart set on pilgrimage with Jesus. They'll see His glory. Blessed are those who die to live, whose joy it is to give it all for Jesus and for Him only. Oh, Jesus, all for Your glory. Come on and praise the Lord with me. Sing if you love His name. Come on and lift your voice with me. He's worthy of all of praise. Come on and bring your offering. Glory. Sing if you've known His grace. Come on and lift up your holy hands. He's worthy of all, all. Standing in the church, sing. Bless God in the sanctuary. Bless God in the sanctuary. Bless God in the fields of plenty. Bless God in the valley. Every chance I get, I bless Your name. Bless God. My hands are empty. Bless God with the prayers that cost me. Bless God when nobody's watching. Every chance I get, I bless Your name. Bless God. Me. Bless God. Walls are falling. Bless God. He goes before me. Every chance again, I bless Your name. God. Bless God. Is always with me. Bless God. For He is always worthy. Every chance I get, I bless Your [Music] name. I bless Your name. [Music] Love. Lord with me. Sing if you love His name. I want to lift up your voice with you. He's worthy of all our praise. Bring your offering. Sing if you've known His grace. Come on and lift up your holy hands. He's worthy of all, up praise. He's worthy of all our praise. He's worthy of all, all our [Music] praise.
Our Father, we thank You, Lord, for giving to us a place we can gather and, Lord, for the opportunity as a fellowship to together get into Your Word. And so, I ask that as we look at this portion of scripture today, that we would find places of application within our own lives. Father, and thank You for Your Word. And, Lord, I ask that You would just now just speak to all of our hearts. We lift up those who are watching online, those outside, those who are in this room. And I ask, Lord, that You would just speak to us equally. Draw us to Yourself in Jesus' name. Amen.
Turn to your neighbor and say, "God bless you. I'm glad you're here." Let's open our books together to our Bibles, The Song of Solomon. We'll be looking today at chapter 1. We'll pick up at verse 9. We'll move into chapter 2 up to verse 7. I'd invite you, you men, on Tuesday mornings to our men's Bible study that we have here. What time is it again? At 6:30. 6:30. We have Bible study, fellas, and we also have a free breakfast. We invite you to be part of that if you'd like. On on Wednesday, John already mentioned that our our guide, Ronnie, will be here and we'll be sharing an update on the situation in Israel, what has taken place over the last year, plus 13 months. And he, he's, he's a very knowledgeable man. He's a historian. He's also got degrees in a couple of different things. And, and he has been a, a guide for for over 40 years. And over 30 years ago, he, he was our guide. We're the first Calvary Chapel he ever guided. And we like him quite a bit. He gave a great, a great presentation. Unfortunately, not everybody was able to make it, but I have to tell you, it was a very good presentation. And so he's a very, very clear speaker, very direct, and I think you'll appreciate him. If you don't make an effort to normally be or can't be on Wednesday night, this would be a good thing for you if you want an update on what's taking place. It'd be a very good, very good thing for you, and we hope that you're able to do so and to be with us today. We're going to begin here in chapter 1 at verse 9. I'm going to read verses 9 through 11 in Song of Solomon and give you a brief introduction reminder and then move into our study. And so, let's begin. Song of Solomon, Chapter 1, beginning at verse 9.
"I have compared you, my love, to my filly among Pharaoh's chariots. Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with chains of gold."
We will make you ornaments of gold with studs of silver. And so, I want you to, I want to begin by just reminding you that we have begun a study in the Song of Solomon. And what it relates to, this particular book here in our Bibles, it relates to romance as well as marriage. And it's centered on a young King Solomon and an unnamed Shulamite woman. I mentioned to you when we introduced it that this book is divided into three basic sections. Chapter 1 to chapter 3:5 describes their courtship. We, we use a different term today, and it is a different concept, but the courtship, this was something that was moving towards marriage. So, chapter 1 to chapter 3:5 describes their their courtship. Chapter 3:6 to chapter 5:1 describes their marriage. And then chapter 5:2 to the end of the book speaks of the maturing of their marriage. And so, what I chose to do is to take this book and divide it into those sections. And so, we'll be seeing elements of courtship for a couple of weeks until we get into chapter 3. Then we're going to be looking at the topic of marriage and, in terms of the wedding. And then we're going to move into and conclude the book by seeing the elements that that lead to a maturing of a marital relationship. Now, as I begin, let me give you a couple more introductory statements concerning Song of Solomon. There are many questions concerning just who this young lady is. Though there are many theories, one thing seems to stand out. This young lady, according to the commentators that I use, this young lady was Solomon's first and most true love. As we look at the book, we're going to see that Solomon obviously loves this Shulamite. And as a man in love, he openly admires her beauty. He speaks openly about it. In chapter 4:1, he'll say, "Behold, you are fair, you are beautiful, my love, you are beautiful." So he admires her beauty, but he especially values her character. In chapter 6:9, he says, "My dove, my perfect one is unique; she is her mother's only daughter, she is a pure child of one who gave birth to her. The young women saw her and called her blessed, the queens and concubines also, and they praised her." And so, he loves her. He very openly speaks concerning that. So it's a love song. Song of Solomon is a love song that reveals the bride and the groom, and that they are deeply in love. And as we go through the book, we're going to be learning many things about love and about romance. And the wisdom that we find here is going to help all of us, from the unmarried to the battle-scarred veterans. So I want to give you a very practical Bible study. I'm going to give you a study that is more of a topical in many ways. The way I normally teach would be just verse by verse and giving you the context and developing it. Here, I want to give you practical application. I want to share some things about it that are practical for us. And so, obviously, those of us who've been married for a while, we, we are way past that that first love kind of thing in terms of of getting to know somebody and date and all of that. But there are things that we began our marriages with that should continue on throughout our marriage. And so we can hear those things. And though they may not specifically apply to us in our situation now, they certainly will help us if we remember those things or perhaps even begin to, for the first time, begin to practice those things. And so I want to make this into a practical study that deals with with love and how it begins to blossom and how it begins to mature and then as it continues to mature into later years. And so, as I begin, I'm going to lay a foundation. In American culture, marriage is normally something that follows dating. We don't have arranged marriages. We choose the woman or man that we're going to marry ourselves. And, and that commitment towards marriage develops over time, and it requires that we get to know one another. So normally, when we date, we begin to express our feelings towards each other. And that's what Solomon's doing. He's, he's actually opening his heart to this Shulamite, Shulamite woman. He refers to her as "my love." This, this is something, a term that he uses five different times in this book, and it's letting her know that he cares deeply about her. So how does he let her know? How does he let her know how he cares, how he feels? Well, he begins in verse 9 by saying, "I've compared you, my my love, to my filly among Pharaoh's chariots." How does he let her know how deeply he loved her? He calls her a horse. My filly, you're as beautiful as a horse. Talk about charm. This is actually a term of endearment. And I'm going to develop that in a moment. It's, it's like we today, we'll say to our girl, you know, honey, or or baby doll, or mama, or chunky monkey, or whatever you say. These are, these are names that show that we love them. So this is his highest compliment. He says, "You're like my horse." Now, a filly is a female horse. So Solomon is saying, she's beautiful. She's beautiful to behold. He was an accomplished horseman, and he valued the beauty of those beautiful horses he had. And so he's just using a picture. The Egyptian Pharaoh's chariots were famous. They were celebrated for their beauty. They were impressive. They were known for their courage. They were known for their strength. So he's saying to her, and this is really where he's going with it, "Your excellence, your strength, and your beauty, your excellence, your strength, and your beauty overwhelm me." That's what he's saying when he refers to her in that way. So you have an excellence in strength and all of these things combine, and they're overwhelming. In verse 10, he said, "Your, your cheeks are are lovely with ornaments, your neck with with chains of gold." Rolls of jewels were fastened on top of the head, they were draped down, and chains of gold were draped around the neck. So what he's saying is, "You're a sharp dresser. I like the way you dress. Your attire attracts me. I want you to know that you are very attractive. You're strong and you're beautiful, and I'm very attracted to you, and I want to know you much better. You're dazzling. Your cheeks, your neck, I'm noticing. I'm taken by you." And so, here's a practical question. What is it that affects, that attracts, rather, attracts men to women today? Well, the first thing every man will say to you is that it's going to obviously be the way she looks. It's going to be her her looks, her beauty. But we're also attracted to her smile, and her kind, her humor, her intelligence, her communicative skills, her hair. We were attracted to such a a variety of things. And all of that, and the Shulamite woman was very attractive. And he begins by making it very clear that he's attracted. And I'll make this a little more personal and hopefully make it a little more practical. When I met Marie, the young lady who became, became my wife, when I met her, there were things that attracted me to her. I remember being attracted by her smile, and I was attracted by her eyes. And I was attracted to her humor. She had a little bit of snottiness, I'll be honest with you. She can, she had a kind of like, "I'm so cool," and it kind of, I liked that about her. And so I discovered she also has a sense of humor. And some people, and not to make this about me, I'm just trying to make it practical. I, I'm attracted when I, when I like somebody, I'll tease them. That's, everybody has their own love language, and mine happens to be, I kind of mess around with people that I like. I tease them. I didn't know this girl from anywhere. I mean, I only met her one time. She hadn't come to the next Bible study that she had come to one Bible study, didn't come to the second, then came to a third. Now, the third Bible study, she's there. The Bible study's over. I don't know her from, I've, you know, I just met her. I've only talked to her a few minutes. She was standing in the kitchen. She'll remember this. She was standing in the kitchen, and I, you know, my brother, it was at my brother's apartment. The brother's apartment was very small, maybe 700 square feet or less. Completely. So in the front room, and the front room is like five steps away from the kitchen. It's one of those small places. And Marie was standing by the sink. And I, again, I didn't know her, but I saw her little attitude, and I thought I'd mess with her. So I looked at her and, and, and I said, "Marie," like that. And I called her. And so she turns to look at this, "Who are you?" And I looked at her and I said, "I drink root beer." And I went like that. I drank root beer. And she goes, "What?" I said, "I don't think you heard me. I drank root beer." I want to see what she'd do. I was just playing with her. She comes with a glass and ice and some root beer, pours it for me, and hands it to me. And she says, "Here you go, your majesty." And I liked that. She had a sense of humor. You know, 'cause most ladies wouldn't do that. Most would get all uptight, you know, that's just a fact. You know, like, "Who are you to talk? You don't know me." Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with Marie, she did that, and she played along with me. I have to tell you. So you'll see, I tease my wife. Those of you who know us know I tease my wife. And some don't understand that. Some think I'm dishonoring her. That's my loving. That's how we've been for all of these years, 50 years. That's that's how we've been. I've always teased her. And so because of that, you know, we have this between us, right? And so I, I really think it's very important for us to get to know one another, but to, there are things that attract you to that person. That was one of the things I, I liked her humor. And so, what, what these things are, is they, for me, they combined for me to have an attraction to want to ask her out to go out on a date. And, and from the very first date that we ever had, I never went out with anyone else. She's the last person I ever had a date with. From the very first day to this day, she's the only one that I've, I've ever gone out with. And since. So when you're, when you're dating, you don't just date because you're bored. When you're dating, very often people may date recreationally, just go out and all. And you need to begin to realize that, especially as you're going to a certain age, you know, when you're 16, 17, you're not going to think about it like I did when I was in my 20s. But you need to remember that the person you date is the one you marry. And so there are things about that you, you need to be aware of. You see, today, many don't want to get married. They think that dating is just something you do. And many are putting off marriage because they're not financially ready, or they haven't found the right one. They feel that they're too young to settle down. There's a variety of reasons why people don't get married and aren't getting married right now as soon as they used to. And some aren't even getting married. There's a growing number who are remaining unmarried. So what they do is they're choosing simply to live together. The Pew Research Center reports that 69% of Americans say that living together is acceptable. Approximately 70% of couples living together are living together before marriage in the United States. 70% in the United States are living together before they get married. And 66% of those surveyed believe, uh, cohabitation is a step toward marriage. But the fact is, couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate. Now, Americans find shacking up, we used to call it shacking up. Americans find living together, cohabitation, acceptable. Yeah, we're just kind of figuring things out, and it's just a step in dating now. So they think it's acceptable. Like I just gave you some stats on that. But God doesn't. God calls living together fornication. And in Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage is to be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers." It isn't something acceptable to God. And if you're living together and you love one another and you've been together, you need to marry each other. It's a sin for you to be living together without being married. And somebody says, "Well, that's old-fashioned." Yeah, it goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden. That's how old-fashioned that is. God designed marriage. Now, others are waiting until their 30s to get married. A recent Urban Institute report even predicts that a significant number of Millennials will remain unmarried past the age of 40. According to data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the median average age for men to first get married has risen to 30, 30 years in 2023, while for women it is 28 years old. With the women's lib movement came a relaxing of sexual morals. It gave rise to men having access to physical intimacy without the need for marriage. Physical intimacy was tied to commitment. So there's no need for us to get married. And according to Psychology Today, women are more likely to initiate divorce than men, with 70% of women being the one filing for divorce. So since women are the first to initiate divorce, men have begun rethinking marriage. Can we make it? Is it worth it? What do I gain if I get married? Someone said, "I'd like to be married, but I don't want to bet half of my stuff on it." Now, those desiring a traditional family, a husband and a wife, having children born to them, for those desiring a traditional family, dating teaches you about relationship. Dating teaches you how to behave with those of the opposite sex. Dating helps you to put into practice the things that your parents tried to teach you. How do you use table manners? How to chew with your mouth closed? How to show courtesy to the date? How to meet the parents? How to, how to speak to the, the, the father, the mother of the person you're dating? And so these are the things that you learn. And after a few, a few failures, you usually discover the things that work and those things that don't work. And eventually, dating ceases being novel. You begin to think of the long run. And it especially happens when you realize that you're moving towards the age and desire to get married. So it's wise to give yourself over to prayer and asking God for direction and, and seeking some very practical things like, "How do I know that this person is the one that I should be with?" Well, through prayer, first. But second, spend time together. But don't, if you're just starting to date, and again, I'm speaking to those who are unmarried, spend time together, but not every day, and not a long time together, because there's a phrase, "too close, too soon." The more you're with them, the more you think you know them. You need to space those things out. Don't spend a lot of time with them consecutively because you'll get too close, too soon. You need to be aware of those kinds of things. I, if you feel pressured by the way to spend too much time with someone, that isn't a healthy thing. So ask yourself, you know, you went out with them and you go home before you know you got a message from them. "What are you doing?" "What do you mean, what am I doing? I just left you five minutes ago." You know, "What was I thinking of you?" And I know you weren't. Shut up. Leave me alone. Do they, do they constantly message you? Do they demand attention from you? Do they demand your time? You need to remember that relationships need time to process what is actually taking place and try to objectively see them for what they really are. And don't fall for the garbage, for the flattery. "Oh, you're the most beautiful." Come on, stop it. People who use flattery often are setting you.
Up, so they can break you down. Skepticism is a good thing to apply to anybody's compliments. Proverbs 29:5 says it like this: "A man who flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet." Be very aware of that. Somebody once said, "Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it, but don't swallow it."
So, notice how they act. Notice how they act in groups. Notice if they're friendly. Notice if they're outgoing. Notice if they're shy and withdrawn. Notice those things and be aware of how they feel and what they say about your friends, because very often what they're doing is separating you from the herd so they can dominate you. Be very careful. Be very careful. Do they try and keep you away from your friends? Do they control your friendships? And be aware, be aware of whether they want to meet your parents, whether they want to spend time with your family.
For me, you know, I saw this as a step towards a deeper commitment. I didn't want to meet Marie's family. I didn't want to meet her parents. We've been going out for several months, several months. When Marie finally said, "Would you come over and meet my mom and my dad?" And so, you know, kind of be honest with you, I had to kind of blow it off. I said, "Yeah, sure, sure, sure." And so one day she said, "We had gone to her sister's graduation, high school graduation, and she said, 'Okay, we can go in now and meet my mom and my dad.'" And I said, "No, I don't want to." "But you said you would." "I said, 'Yeah, I said, yeah, I said that, but I don't want to.'" "But you said you would." "Said, 'I said I don't want to.'" So she went into woman Kung Fu on me. She started to cry. I had to go. I saw it as a step in a direction I wasn't ready to take. I didn't want to meet her family. See, I'd already failed family meets before. I didn't feel like failing this one too. And for me, it was a stronger commitment. It was deeper, and I didn't want to just jump into a relationship. Now, I love her family. I love her dad, loved her dad, love her mama, love her family, but I didn't know if I was ready for that. So be aware of that. Be aware if they, if they want to meet, if they want to see, if they want to be with. Be aware of that kind of thing.
I remember when I met my father-in-law. I was going to Europe. I was taking off for three months. I was going to backpack with a friend of mine throughout Europe. And so I had long hair. So I got an afro. It was huge. I mean, it was a big old afro. Um, when I stood sideways, it looked like a match that was on fire, you know? My, and so I go over to her house and she called me Raggedy Andy, you know, 'cause my hair was a dark red when, when I was younger. And say, "Come on, Raggedy Andy." So I went to meet her dad. And I'll never forget. I'll say this quickly. I don't want to bore you with all of these silly stories, but they come to mind when I'm sharing. The first day I met her dad, I sat at the table and a couple of things he asked me. One, he wanted, every, every father will ask this for whatever reason: "What's your last name?" And then the second thing he asked me is, "You want a beer?" And I said, "No, sir, I don't drink." Oh, I became his best friend immediately because fathers feel good when their daughter goes out with someone who's not trying to get them drunk. "I don't drink." Oh, I became his boy. You know, he liked that. And so I got to know him, and over time, I grew to love that man very much.
But ask yourself, are they wanting to meet your family? Because sometimes that's a very significant thing. And as you're going out and spend your time dating, date them long enough to see how they handle their money, see how they go about just living regular life. While you're at it, you need to define your relationship. Uh, in a short amount of time, you're going to know if it's an exclusive relationship or if it's not. In our relationship, I saw Marie once a week at my Bible study. I never called her up. I never called her on the phone. And she went out with her friends. She was free to go out with anyone if she wanted to on a date. It, it wasn't one of those exclusive things. I had no problem with that. You want to go out? Go out. I don't care. We, you know, I wasn't possessive of her or her time. I, I knew that in relationships, they need to make a decision on their own. They need to know this is something I want. And I wasn't the one who's going to try and push her into being committed to me. She had to decide that on her own. And, and we, we dated for a while.
Now, now you got to know that in the era that we were dating, there was a big old, there was disco. Oh, my. Um, you know, it was just disco, disco, weird. And, uh, but Marie liked to dance. I'm not a dancer, so I didn't care. You know, "Want to go girlfriends and dance and this and that?" And so, who, who cares? And so I was driving one day. We went on a date and as we were driving, uh, we went by this particular dance place that she, she apparently had gone to because as we were driving, she says, "Oh, I was there yesterday, last night. It was a dance place." I said, "Oh, really?" She goes, "Yeah." She goes, "Yeah, um, I was dancing with this guy and he asked me for my phone number." I still remember the conversation. I'm driving. I said, "Really?" I said, "Did you give it to him?" She goes, "No." I said, "Why not?" "Well, I told him I have a boyfriend." I, I still remember. I really did. I remember going, "You have a boyfriend?" I didn't know she had a boyfriend. I said, "You, you got a boyfriend?" She goes, "Yes." I said, "Who?" "Who?" She goes, "You." I said, "I'm not your boyfriend. I said, if I were your boyfriend, you wouldn't have been out dancing last night, right?" Guys don't make sense to me, right? If I were your boyfriend, you wouldn't have been out dancing last night. She never went out again. You know why? She decided not to. I didn't tell her not to. I just told her, "This, this is a situation. This is who I am. If you want to be, fine. If you don't, that's fine too. But you have to make up your own mind. I don't force you." I didn't say, "Oh, don't you dare go dancing again." You know, "Dance all you want, just not with me." And so that's how it worked with us. It was a very natural thing. She chose what she wanted, chose, uh, not to do. I didn't tell her what to do. I didn't command her. We just grew together. I think that's a very natural way to go about it.
When you date again, I'm speaking to those in that particular genre, uh, it's a good thing for you to go out with, with groups, to go out with other dating friends because when you go out with married friends, you can begin to act and feel like you are also married. Be aware of that. And it's a good practice to remain in public places when you're together. Going home to their house or their, their apartment alone, that's not a good idea. It's not difficult to give into temptation under proper circumstances. And remember Romans 13:14 says, "Make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lust." Be aware of those things.
Now, as you continue to get to know each other, show proper value for one another. Uh, when you're with someone who will value you, they are actually respecting you. So never waste time on someone who's trying to move you into compromising. Pressure to conform to their will is never good in any form that it's expressed. And so you need to understand that.
Now, going back to him comparing her to a horse, when he compared her to a filly, he was saying something else. Pharaoh had a white horse, and that horse could be seen for miles, and the white horse was reserved exclusively for him. So Solomon was saying, "You are mine exclusively, and you are beyond price in your value to me." So your dating relationship should be one that causes you to know your value. That, by the way, goes into your marriage. For that woman or that man to know their value, and for them to know their value comes through simple acts of thoughtfulness and kindness. It comes through things like sincere compliments and, and courtesy.
Steve Harvey, that great theologian, wrote a book a long time ago called "Think Like a Man." Perhaps some of you have heard of it, maybe even read it. And he speaks in that book of the chirp, chirp girl. Have you ever heard of that? The chirp? I'm interested. Okay, chirp, chirp. Maybe one or two of you. What's a chirp, chirp girl? Well, she's the girl who puts up with a man who uses his key fob to unlock the door, chirp, chirp, as he's heading for the driver's side, and expects her to open the passenger side door herself. He's not showing her courtesy.
I remember Marie and I, we pulled up to Bob's Big Boy on Fourth Street in Upland. They used to have, it's not a Mexican restaurant, I think, or a seafood broil or something. It's over there. But anyway, I took her out on a date. I remember pulling up, climbing out of my car, and walking towards the restaurant. She wouldn't climb out of the car. And I walked back to her and I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "You need to open my door." And I said, "Listen, I'm going to get something to eat and I'll be in there, and whenever you feel like coming in, I'll be at one of the booths." She folds her arms. "I'm not getting out." So I had to open her door for her to get. What? I'm still mad at you for that. [Applause] That she wasn't a chirp, chirp girl. She expected courtesy and respect. And in her expectation, I gave it. And that's the kind of thing you look for. She was somebody that, that had value to him, and he let her know.
Now, she goes on, and boy, hope I'm able to finish the study today. My goodness. That's kind of like an introduction in verse 12. Well, the king, she goes on. So that's what it means when it speaks of her beauty. "We will make you ornaments of gold, studs of silver." It speaks of her value and all, and her beauty. "While the king is at his table, my spikenard sends forth its fragrance. A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, that lies all night between my breasts." He says, "My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blooms in the vineyards of Engedi." And so she's continuing on. So she's beginning to say how she feels about Solomon. He, and she refers to him as "my beloved" some 24 times in the book. So what she's saying is, "I've made myself as attractive for him as I can be, and my attraction, my attractiveness, rather, is for him and him alone." She's speaking of perfumes. They were intended to communicate something about her to him. It, it was a fragrance that she's speaking of that reminds him of her. When Marie and I first dated, she wore something called Chanel No. 5, and I still remember that. And so it was something that reminded him of her.
There are those who say, "Yeah, women like to dress up, but they don't dress up for the men, they dress up for other women so the women can be jealous of them." I don't know how true that might be, but she dressed up for him. And she speaks in verse 13. When she speaks of a bundle, a bundle of myrrh is really a perfumed bag, a sachet. And it says, "A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, that lies all night." A myrrh was used for many purposes, including aromatic perfume. It speaks of her constant awareness of him, her undivided heart. When she says in verse 14, "My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blooms." Henna blooms produce a flower that has a very fragrant and pleasant smell. So thinking of him, refreshing, are like the most fragrant of flowers. And just yesterday, our, um, Israeli guide was sharing with us how valuable these things are. He said they were, they were very, extremely valuable. And so that's what she's speaking of. The kind of perfume she's wearing is very expensive one.
And then in verse 15, "Behold, you are fair, my love; behold, you are fair; you have dove's eyes." Dove's eyes. Well, and dove's eyes are regarded as beautiful. They show purity and simplicity. So he sees her as a woman he can respect because of her pure and gentle ways. So she's gentle. Brothers, and this is speaking from that perspective, don't go, don't go out with a woman with anger issues. Be very careful. Be very careful. In Proverbs 21:9, "Better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman." You and, uh, it's just true. You don't have to be with somebody who's angry and controlling and dominating. Anybody who's controlling you and dominating you in your dating relationship, you know, the one who has to pick up your phone and go through all things, see who you're with and who you're talking to, look at your pictures and this and that, that's a danger sign. Be very aware of that.
Now, in verse 16, "Behold, you are handsome, my beloved, yes, pleasant also. Our bed is green; the beams of our house are cedars, and our father, our rafters, rather, of fir." And so you're handsome. In other words, you, you appeal to me. Now, when it says "our bed is green," don't get the wrong idea. A bed is a reference to a couch. It was used in the outdoors, and it was when you were together, you would sit there, and when you're alone, you could take a nap outside. That's all that is. When it speaks of the beams of the house being made of cedar, the rafters being of fir, uh, cedars and, and the trees were making a canopy, and it's a picture of a romantic outdoor setting. It's really saying this is a very comfortable place that we're together, and we can make our memories together in this place.
So, in a dating relationship, when you go out, be aware of where you're going on your dates. Movies and concerts, plays, they can be okay, but you can't really visit and get to know one another when you're in those locations. You can't do that because in a movie or a concert or play, whatever, you have to be quiet. Normally, not so much today as in the past. Some people think they're in the place, but that's a different message altogether. So go to places that you can visit and learn about one another.
The very first date my wife and I had, first date we ever had, I picked her up at 11:00 in the morning and I went home after the date at midnight. And we actually went somewhere with a couple, a friend of ours. We went together. Spent the whole day together. Came home and stayed at her, stayed with her for a little while. She made me some tea. I went home. I went home, and it was like 13 hours together, and we talked the whole time. And we have never stopped doing the same thing for all of these years. My wife and I talk together all the time. That's how you get to know each other. And we, we've always done that. We've always had that conversation. And all I found it very important for us to actually have time together. Doesn't mean that we never went to a play or a concert, whatever. We did, of course, but that was not the center of everything we did. What we did is sit together, drink some tea, visit, and we got to know each other. And so be aware of that. That's basically what she's talking about. She's saying that we sit together, we make memories together. It's a beautiful, comfortable place, and that's what I like being with you.
And then she moves on and she says, "I am the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valleys. Like a lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters." And so when it speaks of the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valley, those are common flowers in Israel. She's speaking in a humble fashion of herself. She's saying, "I, I, I grew up in a quiet rural life. I, I enjoy the peacefulness of such a life." And in, in this rural setting, there are many ordinary flowers, and I'm simply one of them. So there's a humble way of speaking of herself. But Solomon says, "Like a lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters." He, in other words, "You may consider yourself common, but you're not to me." For him, she's the most beautiful and desirable woman in the world. And Solomon, here's something. Solomon made her feel beautiful because he sincerely believed that she was. And it's very true. A woman can come to understand her actual value by what is said to her and what is said about her. And the way that you're spoken to is all that you really need to reveal your relationship. And if you're with someone who is constantly trying to change you, criticizing you, and correcting you, that's not a healthy relationship. In Proverbs 12:18, "There is one who speaks rashly like a piercing sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." So our words, our words can hurt a person. We can troll with our words. We can make them feel ugly, and make them feel stupid, and make them feel useless. But our words are supposed to encourage one another, to build one another up. Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
In verse three, "Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down in his shade with great delight, and his fruit was sweet, sweet to my taste." And an apple tree is, it's probably, is, uh, commentators say this is not what we would consider today or call an apple. It more than likely is an apricot because apples that we know don't go well in a hot climate. What he's saying is, "You're pleasant to me, and, and, and I love you, and, and I provide for you, and you mean everything to me. What you are is, is very special. And so I enjoy having time with you, and, and, and you provide for me something that is deeply satisfying." Notice she says in verse three, "I sat down in his shade with great delight." "I feel comfortable and protected by you. I'm not afraid. I'm not unsettled by you." This is a powerful man, but he doesn't use his power to frighten her. There are guys in relationships that use their, their power to scare the woman. She should not be afraid of the one who she says she loves. She should respect and regard him, but she should love and regard him because he protects her. She's not afraid of him because he cares for her. And she says, "I, I can be seated in your shade. I am very comfortable and protected. I'm not unsettled."
And then goes on in verse four to say, "He brought me to the banqueting house, his banner over me with love." Banners were used in various ways, especially and including a wedding canopy. His love for her is pure. It's the marrying kind of love. And a banner can be seen. So his love was openly declared. The point is being made is their relationship is open for all to see. It is public. This is a relationship that is lived out in full view of people. I'll develop this some other time in the study, but I'll say this to you, ladies: If a man loves you, again, if you're dating, if a man loves you, he's willing to be seen with you. He's not the guy who says, "I'll meet you there." Sometimes you may have to, maybe you're coming from different places and meet, of course, but he's not that guy who says, "I'll meet you there." Listen, if he introduces you by your name, or if he says, "This is my friend," you know what he's saying? That's how I was with Marie when we first dated. They say, "Oh, David." And I said, "Yeah, this is Marie, this is my friend Marie." Because we weren't committed to each other. But the day comes when he stops saying "my friend" and stops saying her name, not that he doesn't know it, but the day comes when he starts saying, "This is my girl. This is my chunky monkey." If you've dated for a while and he calls you by name to everybody else, you know what you are.
I wouldn't hold Marie's hand. I didn't hold her hand for months. I, I, I discovered she wanted me to because she had her purse. And so I, I said, "I wonder if she wants me to hold her hand." So I, I walked on the side of where her purse was, and she would shift it to the other side. I said, "Oh, I think so." And then I would kind of slow down and go to the other side, and she would shift it. I really did. I really did. I didn't call her my girlfriend. [Music] Um, I don't know if I should tell you. I only have five minutes. Okay, I will. When I began to hold her hand, obviously it was because I felt more committed to her. Uh, I asked her after we'd been going out for a while. I remember asking her. It was mean, but I said, "Marie, and I was very serious, if I were to ask you to marry me, would you?" She said, "Yes." I said, "Great. If I ever want to marry you, I now know the answer." I really did. I really did. So now you can respect her even more than you ever did.
I'll close. Verse five, "Sustain me with cakes of raisins, refresh me with apples, I am lovestruck. His left hand is under my head, his right hand embraces me. I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." "Sustain me." There's no avoiding this. When it says, "Sustain me with cakes of raisins, refresh me with apples, I am lovestruck." This is speaking of her physical desire for him. Raisins and apples were thought to produce fertility as well as sexual desire. The word "apple" here, there are variations in in the Hebrew. "Apple" here, many commentators say is is better translated by what we would call pomegranates. And pomegranate, in that imagery, portrays a fruitfulness. And so she's saying, "I absolutely desire physical intimacy because I love this one so passionately. I want him to touch me, and I, I look forward to him holding me," is what she's saying. And so that's obviously a proper desire for someone who wants to be married.
But she says in verse seven, "I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." Now, when she says, "I charge you by gazelles and does," gazelles and does are gentle, but they're also easily, apparently easily awakened or startled. And since they're gentle, a man should treat a woman with gentleness. And there is obviously a proper place for physical expression, but she's saying, "Don't awaken it too soon." Sex is good. Obviously, if it wasn't, we wouldn't have it. It's good. It's created by God. It's to be enjoyed. It, it is also intended to produce children. My mom told me when I was a kid that, um, that the first sin that, that there was. Mama didn't read the Bible, and she, it's obvious by what she told me. She said that the sin of Eve was that she had physical relations with Adam. And that's just not true. That's not true. But many people believe that. In her, in her day, no, sex is good, but it's to be enjoyed within the confines of a marriage covenant. It's a pleasant thing that God has created for us to enjoy. It is not good when it's performed outside of the covenant of marriage.
And, and remember, men don't normally view intimacy in the same way that women do. And because this is true, she says to her friends, "Don't awaken it." See, a man, a man can say, "I love you," when in reality, he's simply saying, "I long for physical time with you." Under normal conditions, under normal circumstances, in the way that we grew up, and I know that things are, they're attempting to change things and definitions and all, but in general, it's, it's still true. A man doesn't need to feel love for a woman at all to have physical intimacy under normal conditions. A woman needs to feel a sense of commitment, at least in that. And I know, again, it's changed quite a bit. There's been a lot of lying to to women and permission given to men, but the fact is, men do not see physical intimacy the way a woman does. A man can have a relationship with a woman and go on, hang with his friends immediately afterwards. Or a woman normally doesn't think that way. And so she's saying, "Don't, don't awaken it." It's not good. Passions that are inflamed are hard to control. It's, it's been said, "A fire in a fireplace is pleasant, but a house on fire isn't." So marriage is a lifelong commitment. Sexual pleasure within it is part of the relationship. But when all you know is sex in that relationship, you don't know the other person. All you know is one aspect of it. And if that becomes your focal point, you're missing out on what a real relationship is. And so she's saying, "Don't awaken this until it's the proper time." That should be part of your relationship in marriage, but it should not be part of your relationship while dating. Because once you begin to have that physical activity, and every man I know, and there may be some men in here that are different, every man I've ever known, if you have a girlfriend who begins to have relationships with you, that becomes the focal point of your time with her. That's just the way it is. Then maybe we'll do something else. It becomes the wrong thing instead of getting to know that person who they really are. You substitute what you do, and you never get to know them as a person, and you never value them. You never get to know their heart, their dreams. You don't know anything about them other than that one thing. And she says, "Don't do that. Don't awaken it before the time. Develop everything else in your relationship." And the time is marriage. We'll see that later on in the book, but the time is marriage, not before. Make your memories, enjoy each other, compliment each other, love one another, but wait until the proper moment because in that proper moment, you're going to have the blessing of, of God. And so there's a bit of an introduction into courtship, a little bit more. We'll be picking that up as we continue.
And Father, we ask that this would be as practical as we can make it as we go through the study together. And I lift up people in this room, Lord, because I know that there are some who will be here today, perhaps even now, or are watching online or outside, who have entered into relationships that they ought not to be having. And I pray that as we look at this portion of scripture and these book, this book, that You would bring healing to many relationships. Help us, men, to be men who are respectful and loving and caring, protective. And help the ladies to be the ladies of our life. And that together, we might serve You and work in our lives. We pray to Your glory. And even as our eyes are closed, there may be some who need to get right with the Lord. It may not even have anything to do with what we looked at today, but you know you need to get right with the Lord. Maybe even give your heart to Christ and say, "God, I need You. Help me through Jesus. I'm a sinner. Please help me. Forgive me." Whatever. But if you need prayer, would you raise your hand and let me pray for you right now? Father, You see these hands. You know the reason why they're being raised to You. In Jesus' name, I ask that You would touch every person whose heart is open and whose hand is raised, and that You'd have Your way in them, even now. And Father, I ask that You would work in a beautiful way in them as they say, "God, be merciful to me." You do show mercy. And we thank You, Lord. So we open up to You. We say, "God, I want to follow You. I will follow You." And with Your help, Lord, I will succeed. We yield to You now, and we bless You, Lord. We receive from You by faith. Thank You, Lord. You can put your hands down.
There may be some struggling with an illness and you want prayer. Would you raise your hand and let me pray for you? Father, You see these whose hands are raised. They're dealing with a, a sickness of some sort. You are the God who heals, Lord. We're simply asking that You would again, we ask because we know that our God is a healing God. So Father, would You please just reach down and touch these whose hands are raised, and whatever they need, I would pray that You would physically touch them, Lord, that they would be healed by faith. We ask by faith. We would receive, and we give You praise for this now. Thank You. Bless You, Lord. Thank You. You can put your hands down.
And Lord, we're about to leave. I ask that we wouldn't forget the things we're learning. And even if we are married, or sometimes many years, I, I pray that You would help us to remember these basic things to enrich our, our marriages. And for those who are dating or considering it, help them to have a checklist in their heart to seek for the right things, Lord. And I ask this in Your name. Amen. Let's all stand. I'm trying, I'm trying to make it as practical as I can, so, you know, I just hope you appreciate that. I, I, I just really want the Lord to, to speak to our relationships. I feel it's an important thing right now for us to look at. And Father, we ask that You would work in us and through us and use us for Your glory. As we leave, Lord, would You please go with us? And on Wednesday, I pray You would draw many to our study to hear what's taking place right now in the land, Lord, of Israel. Remind us, and may we be there to hear these things. In Jesus' name. Amen. God bless you. Amen. Family, let's sing one more song of praise to the Lord. Finish with worshiping God this morning. Get ourselves ready for the week. Amen.
When the doubt in my way tries to steal what You say, my way to steal what You. I have no, I will. I will be. A song, a song of Thanksgiving is my battle cry. With joy as my weapon, I stand and defy the light of the dark with my hands lifted to. I will rejoice. I will rejoice. I will dance in Your kindness and claim every yes and amen. I will rejoice. I will rejoice. I will shout of Your goodness forever again. [Music] Ahead to late, dead in. I speak Your name. Oh, I speak Your name. A song, a song of Thanksgiving is my battle cry. With joy as my weapon, I stand and defy the light of the dark with my hands lifted to. I will rejoice. I will rejoice. I will dance in Your kindness and claim every yes and amen. I will rejoice. I will rejoice. I will shout of Your goodness forever again. Again. One more time. I will shout. Yes, I will shout of Your goodness forever again. Again. Last time. I will. Oh, I will shout of Your goodness forever. [Applause] Again.
Father God, would You pour Your Spirit into us daily, Lord? Would we be filled with Your Spirit, Your love, Your grace, Your mercy? Use us for Your glory. In Jesus' name, we all said, amen. Family, God bless you. If you have any need for prayer for any reason right now, come on up front. Someone's going to be right here to pray with you. Have a blessed week. We love you, Church. E E E E E E