Transcription
I get two really common emails and messages from women. One is younger women going, "I'm in college right now. I'm in my last year of dental school. My parents expect me to start a dental practice and and pay back my loans before I even think about getting married and having kids, and all I want to do is get married to my boyfriend and have kids. I don't want to be a dentist. I thought I did. It's not what I want to do, but everyone will think I'm crazy. I already have sunk so much into this. What do I do?"
Right.
The second most common one I get is older women, usually in their 60s. It's like across the board, especially since the Joe Rogan thing. The amount of emails and DMs I've gotten from women who are 60, 62, 65, anywhere in there, saying, "They got me. They got me with this. I believed this BS, and now I'm alone, and I can't go back, and I can't change it. But I'm glad you're saying something for the younger women who can so that they at least feel like they can pick a different path."
Yeah.
I get so many messages from women in their 60s and even in their 70s saying, "I fell for this crap. I fully believed it, and I'm I'm in my 60s. I have no kids. I have no husband. I just retired from my corporate job that I never really liked. of got stuck, and and here I am."
Yeah, but you're such an outlier, is the thing. Like, I have This is one thing like men who I know, you know, when you go through it, even whether it's divorce attorneys, they'll say it's terrible, avoid it at all costs, try and, you know, make it work. And then it's a contagion with women. They're like, "I'm happier than ever." Even though you know they're not.
Yes.
And so, even though you have these ladies emailing you now, they're they're 50 times more going, "I'm great." And like Chelsea Handler, she's lying to herself. So, before we go on then to the kids, let's say you have a Well, you do. You have a camera right there. To women out there, young women, if you were to try and tell them like, "Don't believe X lie." or "Feel free to do like what message would you give to them if you had to try and cut off at the pass them putting themselves on a path to perpetual unhappiness cuz that's what needs and there need to be enough women doing that.
Yeah. Well, it's not the men trying to convince you of a certain thing because they want to control you because they want a mindless sex puppet or whatever. It's women like Simone de Beauvoir who in a 1970s interview with Betty Friedan said, "I don't think we should give women the option to stay home and have children. Precisely because if there is such an option, too many women will choose that." She said, "I think society should be run completely differently and we should we should use, you know, pressure, social pressure to convince women that doing that makes you unfulfilled. It means you can't hack it, you know, you can't hack it in the business world or you can't handle a career, you just want to stay home." This was very intentional and it was on the part of women like Simone de Beauvoir who, although she was considered one of the feminist intellectuals of the 20th century, was also a creeper who was convicted of grooming children with her partner. She was a teacher who was grooming her female students in France and lost her teaching license and gotten a lot of trouble for that.
Yep.
So, these are not nice women. These are not women who are getting picked by great guys. These are not women who are doing well. These are bitter, creepy, awful women for the most part.
Yeah.
That's the truth of it. I mean, I've I profiled all the most prominent ones from the 1700s to now in my book and it took me 2 and 1/2 years and the reason it ended up being about things like the occult is because I found almost every single time these women were divorced. They abandoned their husbands. They abandoned their children if they ever had children at all.
Right.
They were, you know, sex pests. They were into all kinds of creepy stuff, whether it be kids or polyamory or actual like socialist communes where everybody's sleeping with each other, really bizarre stuff. These are the women who were so against the status quo of like man and woman, you know, God, husband, wife, nuclear family, extended family. They were so against it because they they wanted to be off cooming. They wanted to be off doing this degenerate disgusting stuff and didn't want to have to deal with any social stigma for it. So, these are the women you're listening to. And I don't think most of you want to be her. I don't think most of you want to be Simone de Beauvoir trying to seduce your 16-year-old student so your boyfriend can get in on the action.
Right.
Right.
You probably rather be like Meemaw who had the table set for the whole family where think about it, when you look back and you think of hearth and home and warmth and where you felt safe and people were happy. They're usually and that's where I talk about like there's a woman at the center. I don't want to use the term matriarch, but um
that term.
Okay. Well, there there there was a woman and they would coach young women.
my matriarch era right now and I love it. I think it's fantastic.
Yeah?
This This is the other big lie that women have been sold. You're going to be young and sexy forever. You're going to be like Jane Fonda and be sexy at 70.
She's not sexy at 70.
I know. You know. I know. We all know. But everybody goes, "YES, GIRL, YES. Oh my god, slay."
Slay. Slay.
with Jennifer Lopez. Approaching 60, still, you know, out there shaking in a shaking it in a thong. She's on what, her fourth, fifth divorce? Are we even keeping track anymore?
Mhm.
Um you know, someone else is mostly raising her kids so she can be off doing her boss girl look everybody look at my thing.
Mhm.
And it's like you could do that, but my grandma, bless her, is turning 100 years old on April 1st. And when I look back over my life, I see her as like the pillar in my life of somebody who was sane and stable and normal and my safe place for me in my life cuz I had a crazy Marxist feminist mom.
Yeah.
And my dad was kind of the typical American guy in the '80s and '90s who got absolutely crushed by the whole feminist machine. Uh four divorces, just And it's cuz he simped.
Yeah.
I'll just be honest. It was because he simped because he was just told you have to listen to women, you have to make them happy, you have to do what they want.
Yeah.
And he he didn't find a spine until it was like way too late.
Yeah. Well, I I think, you know, women or feminists will say like, "What do you want to do? You can do anything you want." You know, it's what kind of life do you want to actually live? Who do you want to be?
Yeah.
want to be Simone de Beauvoir? Do you want to be I mean, what is it? Uh not Ellen G. White, that's the Seventh-day Adventist. I'm going back to that. Um Uh who are we just you just mentioned? Anyway, point is, do you want to be any of these cackling or do you want to be your grandma? Do you want to be the lady who made you feel safe and warm? Cuz you can do that.
Yeah.
Now, let's though give the opposite side, you know, You want to be the world's most powerful genie? Uh everything that comes with it, the shackles. Let's be real. Tell young women if they want that. Let's say a woman right now is like, "Yes, I want to be able to stay home." Cuz there are a lot of women who know that.
Yeah.
Want to stay home, I want to be able to raise a family. I don't want to have to be a corporate slave in 9:00 to 5:00. Um and I want to be able to a man who shares those values. What does that mean those women need to expect and and uh need to do to find that kind of a man? Big part of it is probably don't talk so Don't don't don't talk back so much.
It's the attitude.
It's the attitude. I had to find this out, too. You know, like uh people will be like, "Where can I find a wife like yours, Andrew?" And I always tell them I'm like, "Women aren't born great wives, and men aren't born great husbands, by the way. You You learn these They're learned skills. And we don't have parents and grandparents that teach us these skills anymore. Almost all of us have like divorced parents or dysfunctional homes that we come from. It's so common now that most of us don't even know what that looks like.
Yeah.
Um I grew up with like the worst possible role models in the worst possible situation. So, I had to learn it, too. So, lucky for me when I met Andrew, he kind of helped me with that like right off the bat. One of our first dates, he came over to my house and I don't I don't even remember what it was now. But, I said something sassy to him. So, he said something sassy back. He was like, "Oh, really?" Said something a little sassy back and I threw a remote control at him.
I remember you telling me the story and I love this story.
And he looked at me and he went, "Oh, really? Okay. Well, if that's how you're going to act, I'm leaving now. And if you ever want to talk to me again, you better think about why you just did that and why you thought that that was okay to do cuz I will not put up with that." And he left. And I sat there and went, "Can't believe this guy. What the heck?" And then all of a sudden I went, "Oh, crap. Am I the girl that throws stuff?"
[laughter]
"AM I THE GIRL THAT throws stuff and has an attitude?" You know, I immediately thought of like all the archetypes of that woman and I was like, "I don't want to be that person."
No.
I don't. I don't want to be her. And I called him and I was like, "You know what? You were completely right. That was I don't know why I thought I could do that. Doesn't really matter, but I will never do that sort of thing to you again.
Then he whipped the timber on that you
sorry. Well, the Here's the thing is, the what got me was he didn't yell back. He didn't match my energy and throw something back at me or anything like that. He was just he very calmly just asserted, "I don't deal with that.
Yeah.
I don't deal with that kind of behavior from women. So, if if that's what you want to do, good luck to you.
Right.
Uh have a nice life, but if you do want to ever see me again, like that's never going to happen." And that was like really clear right from the beginning. And it just that one moment completely shifted my thinking.
Mhm.
Because of all the stuff that I had seen growing up, you know, like uh both my parents were like throw throw things, break stuff, slam doors. It was like very normal in my household and I didn't even realize how much I'd kind of been programmed with that. And then you take Think of all the pop star girls. Think of all the popular females in the culture and I think this is why most women go this way.
Mhm.
Because Meemaw, who everybody has warm memories of going to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving or Christmas and and maybe you got sick and Grandma came over and took care of you and you always felt so safe and wonderful and and you love her. She's not famous.
No.
She's not getting millions of dollars in magazine covers, but Taylor Swift is and Beyoncé is and Katy Perry is and all of these uh famous actresses who give Oscar speeches about how great their was, they're getting all the public praise and all the PR and everything. And that's women um are very pack oriented. They don't like going against the grain. They don't like standing out and being different than all the other women. You get penalized heavily for that. Ask me how I know. Um so they they just kind of go with that because that's what we all see from the time we're so little. Even little kids' cartoons now.
Yeah.
Little kids' cartoons now, the girl is always the strong tough one. The girl is always the smart one with the superhero powers. The boys are always like, "Oh, I don't know what I'm doing. Good thing the girl's here to save me, you know." It's It's how things have been presented for so long and it just took Andrew saying that one thing to me for my whole mind to kind of go "Oh my god, have I been doing the thing?
Yeah.
Have I had the attitude?" And it took me a long time of learning to get that stuff out of me and catching myself when I was doing it.