Transcription
99% of people never truly learn how to speak effectively. And that's why most people never get what it is that they want in life. Learning how to become a master communicator is the most important superpower that you can ever attain. When you learn to speak at an elite level, it is a cheat code. Doors swing open, money flows in, and people follow you without question.
I had to use sweat equity to get my business started. "If you really want to blow this thing up, you're going to need a master." I said billion. Billion with a B. This isn't theory. It's how I've built three multi-million dollar businesses, closed hundreds of millions in deals, and spoken on the biggest stages. And none of it would have happened if I hadn't fixed how I communicate.
Here are the eight steps to becoming a master communicator.
Step number one, most people don't think before they speak, and that's why they ramble, they overcomplicate things, and they get ignored. When I got started in sales at the ripe old age of 16, I had no idea what I was doing and I didn't know my ass from my elbow. And it wasn't until I had made thousands of sales calls and got my teeth kicked in did I become precise with my words. Everything was fine when I stayed to the script. But the moment that the prospect would ask me a question or hit me with an objection that wasn't in the script, I would begin to ramble to overcompensate because I didn't know what I was saying. And it was here that I learned firsthand the power of a script and really knowing what it is that you're going to say.
In business and in life, you're set up with multiple situations where you're usually saying the same thought or the same opinion on something. But the thing is, most people, they never get clear in their mind of what they're trying to say. And a cheat code for becoming very good at this is to simply sit down and write 140 words on a story, an analogy, or a point that you will reference in the future. Because once you've got it out of your mind and you've clearly articulated it, then you understand what it is you're going to be saying. Then what you will notice is there is a whole bunch of fat in that idea and you want to trim off that fat and keep it lean and punchy and memorable.
Once you've got that written down, this is when the work really begins. You want to practice and train on that and rehearse it and say it over and over and over again till you remember it verbatim and so that it just flows off your tongue and when you speak you're not in the back of your mind trying to remember what it is that you're saying. It is a part of you and you can just bring it up at the drop of a dime. And that's step number one. Clear thinking is clear speaking.
But sharp thoughts will only take you so far. Is every single sentence is littered with hesitation. Which brings us to step number two. Every single filler words, the arms, the Rs, the like, they make you sound unsure. And once you become aware of them in your speech, you cannot unsee it. And it is very, very difficult to go through a day, a sentence, a meeting, a sales call without saying "um" and a filling your sentences with filler words.
But a way you can slowly start to remove them is exactly that, by starting to speak slower. Because when you speak slowly, you sound controlled. Now, the idea is not to continue to speak slowly forever, but it's a way for you to become conscious of these filler words and remove them as you speak. And the more confident that you get, the faster that it is that you can speak and still not fill your sentences with filler words. And now that you're conscious of it, you are going to see this everywhere in all the conversations that you have when you're speaking to somebody else. Not only you going to be aware of when you do it, you're going to be aware of when they do it. And everybody has it.
Don't get caught up and like, "I can't believe I say 'ar' and 'r' so much and I put all this stuff in there." When I first got started in sales, I had them all throughout my speech. And then when I moved from doing one-to-one sales and I was able to remove a lot of them, when I started doing media and interviews and podcasts or recording content like this, I saw them creep back into my vernacular. And that's just because whenever you're put into a situation where you're not super confident about what you're doing, you are going to look and you're going to reach to those filler words to fill up those sentences because you are unsure.
So a way to eliminate that is to simply buy yourself some time. Whenever you're asked a question, is to simply repeat that question. Not only does it buy you five extra little seconds to think about what it is that you're going to say, it also breeds a sense of confidence because you have clarity on what the question is that you've been asked. And you replace these filler words with silence because being silent for a second or so and then answering the question, that is a lot better than answering it straight away and mumbling and putting all of these filler words in there, which leads to people getting a sense that you're not really confident.
But your presence has to match your speech, which brings us to step number three. Your body is the first signal that people read before you even open your mouth. When I first got started in phone sales, I used to slouch. I used to fidget in my chair. And because I was calling on the telephone, I used to think that it didn't matter how my body language was, how my posture was because people couldn't see me. However, that is a huge mistake because the way that you sit and your posture, it also changes the way in which you speak. And the way that I found to reduce any efficiency in the way that I speak and the way that I communicate with another party was to first control my physiology and my body language. And then I would be much more attentive to exactly what was said on the call.
Now, this goes when you're shooting videos like this. It's also the same when you're doing television appearances or you're presenting in a meeting or you're doing a face-to-face sales call. Your body language, the way that you hold yourself, how much you fidget, it says even more than the words that come out of your mouth. And the first key of doing this is first eye contact. You want to lock eyes with the person that it is that you're speaking with because that acts as like a point of punctuation of everything that it is you're saying. Once you've locked eyes with the person you're speaking to, as they are communicating to you, you want to use your body language and nod deliberately to let them know that you understand what it is that they're saying. It's all of those little micro points in communication that really all add up.
You want to stand tall with your shoulders back. Now, yes, this is infinitely more important when you are speaking to someone in person. However, most sales calls these days are done over Zoom as well. So, if you're kind of crouched up over the chair and you've got your headset on and your body language doesn't show that you're in control, that also is sending a message to the person that it is that you're speaking to. And most people when they are unsure about what it is that they're saying, their body language also suggests that their shoulders are hunched over. They're like playing with something constantly. They are taught to not take up space. Instead, what is a better stance is to literally lean back in the chair or sit up straight. And don't be afraid of using your hands to bring in body language and gestures to take up more space. This just commands more authority and your words hit a lot harder. That's step number three. Body language power and control.
Now, here's where the masters separate from everyone else. It's not just the words that you say. It's exactly about how they land when they come out of your mouth. Which brings us to step number four. Your voice is a weapon. The delivery of your words decide if somebody is going to respect or forget you.
When I was 18, I packed my bags and I bought a one-way ticket to London. And I sold everything that it is you could imagine. And it was really here that I made the decision to go pro. And I was working on a sales floor with 300 people on it. I made a deal with the quality assurance girl in the building that I would bring her snacks and that she would let me take home my sales calls and I would listen to them and I had the first generation iPod and I would load all those sales calls up to my iPod. I had no music on that thing and every day on my commute to the office and on my way home the only thing that I would listen to are these sales calls and I hyperanalyzed every single component of them.
And the first thing when you speak is your tonality, right? Is it a warm tone? Are you speaking in a cold way? And there's no one set rule for every single situation. You need to look at the environment in which you're speaking. But you need to be very presence of what the tonality is of your words. But in general, warm and confidence builds trust. But when you speak on a flat monotone, people just don't pay attention.
And the next thing is inflection. I learned in sales to smile while you dial and I had to beat this thing out of me. It is an old school tactic that they used to use in the 80s where you want to be all super positive and constantly upward inflicted. "Hi, is that Mr. Jones?" The reason that that doesn't work is because it shows insecurity and people know that you sound like a salesperson. The moment they hear an upward inflection, it's like somebody of lower status that is interrupting somebody's day and is vying for their time. Where when you downward inflect at the start of the phone call, that is a downward inflection. That is somebody that is typically an authority. If you think of surgeons, doctors, any profession, then you're not going to walk into the clinic like, "What's brought you in here today?" Like that's not how they're going to speak. They're like, "Hi, Sabry. What's brought you in here today?"
And so I had to beat this out of me. And I realized that whenever I opened a call with a downward inflection, immediately those calls progressed a lot longer than the calls when I upward inflect. And then there is also neutral inflection where you don't speak up and you don't speak down. And that's typically the best for when you are telling a story of some kind because you are just restating the facts of what has happened.
Then we have cadence and that is like the rhythm of which you speak. You want to think like a fighter. They're not throwing left hooks all the time. It's a flurry of punches and then a left hook. So, you want to use certain short words and longer words and think about the delivery of all of those things so that you are communicating in a way that is unpredictable and has ups and downs and keeps people engaged. You want to use slow strikes for impact and flurries when you're trying to inject energy.
Then we have pace, which is the speed in which you speak. If you're always speaking very, very, very quickly, that shows people that you're anxious and you're not really sure or confident in the words that you're saying. However, if you speak too slowly, it's also boring and you want to use different pace in the way that you communicate to make points more impactful and also get you through the material that it is that you're trying to communicate.
Pauses. This is an incredibly powerful tool to use in your arsenal. Whenever you're trying to make an impactful point, simply inject a 1 to two second pause after it. Some of the most powerful orators in history, they literally hinge their entire speaking style just on a well-placed pause. Don't feel like you need to fill that air. Let it just sit there for one to two seconds because then what comes out of your mouth next is going to land so much harder. Let the silence detonate your point.
Pauses are incredibly effective at getting more information out of people. If someone says something to you, you can simply repeat what it is that they've said and then just pause and don't say anything. And then they will typically go on to overexplain and give you clarity on the question that you've just asked.
Volume. You do not want to shout, but then you also don't want to whisper. If anything, I would say that more people default to speaking quietly because they've been told that that's the polite thing to do. But one of the most powerful things to do is to first make sure that people can actually hear the words that you're saying. So don't be afraid to project and fill the room that you're in or if you're speaking in front of a bunch of people is making sure that everybody can hear what it is that you're saying. And you have to kind of leave that up to your six senses of seeing how big the room is, who's involved in the room, what are their ages, but just make sure that everybody in that room can very clearly hear every word that you're saying because nothing is going to hurt your communication more that when people are constantly, "Oh, what did they say?" and they're not even hearing the message that you're saying in the first place.
Pitch and resonance. You want to speak from your chest. There was a study done across countless of sales floors and they found a commonality in all the top producers of those sales team that they all had a deep resonant voice. People that speak with a deeper voice they come across as more authoritative and on a sales call you are the person that is leading. So if you're speaking with a deeper tone automatically you're taking the authority frame. And lastly we have clarity. You want crisp consonants and clean vowels. No mumbling, no letting the ends of your words kind of just fade off into the distance. Make sure that you speak crisp. And that's step number four, vocal delivery mastery.
But even if you sound strong, you'll lose people if you can't connect. And that connection is where most communicators fail. Which brings us to step number five. Weak communicators overexplain. Where master communicators ask questions and speak concisely.
When I was living in London, I worked on a sales floor with 300 plus people on it. And when I started in the first week, they play you sales recordings of the best salespeople there. And they played me two recordings. One was from a guy called Tommy. He was this British guy that everyone used to speak about. And he had the gift of the gab or a silver tongue as they say. He had an answer for pretty much anything that anyone would throw out at him. But then there was another sales rep that was better than him and that was consistently above him on the leaderboard. And he didn't speak the same way that Tommy did. He didn't have the gift of the gab and he didn't have as good tonality. But the one thing that he did have is he would spend 80% of his call asking the right questions. And that means that he was collecting the intel so that he made sure when he was speaking he was saying the right things. And I believe that's what led him to constantly outsell Tommy is because it doesn't matter if you master all the linguistics and you have all of the answers so to speak if you don't know exactly what the other party wants.
So you want to make sure that you are asking lots of questions. Not only do people love talking about themselves, it also allows you to actually get to the source of what it is that the person wants in front of you. And you're not guessing. You're not throwing everything out there and going, "I wonder where it is that they want to go." You simply ask pointed questions to find out exactly what's important to the person you're communicating with. We've all been in a meeting on a conversation and the person on the other end, they're not even clear on what it is that you're trying to say. And because of that, you just tune out. You're like, "No, this person doesn't get it." And it doesn't matter how well they're speaking, what their articulation is like, what the pacing is like. If they're not saying the right things, you're simply going to tune out and not listen to what it is that they're saying. And that's step number five. Ask more and say less.
But connection is only the start. If you want to influence people, you need to master this next step, which brings us to step number six. Average communicators, they just dump facts. Where master communicators, they use stories to move the room.
So, the first day that I arrived on the set of Shark Tank, I'm there with all the other sharks and they bring in all of these actors and these dummy people to come in and deliver their pitch so that we can see the chemistry of all the sharks on the panel. And so, for the people that it's the first time doing the show, they're going to kind of get all of their nerves out and they're going to be ready when the cameras actually start rolling. And all of the sharks were brand new at doing this except for one shark and that was Robert. And after doing the first day of shooting, I would just see like, man, like Robert was just incredible at telling stories. And even though that either the business came in, I'd be able to grill them on what their ROI was, their customer acquisition cost, and really get into the nitty-gritties of their businesses and their business models, which Robert couldn't do in a lot of instances, that didn't matter because for every single time that one of these contestants and these business owners would walk out with their business, he had 50 stories that he could completely apply to their scenario and what it is that they were going through. And we people would just get enthralled by what it is that he would say. He was using stories and not facts to get his points across.
After the first day of filming, we all went into one of the studio rooms and we were all just talking about the day and we all acknowledged that it was very, very easy to see that Robert had been doing this for many, many years and this was our first rodeo and that we knew that we needed to up our game on the next day of shooting.
Stories are mesmerizing and memorable. It's very, very hard to recall certain stats or facts that people bring up, but you certainly remember a story. And it's cuz a story, it changes the way that it is that you feel. And it's that old adage, people won't remember what it is that you said, but they'll remember the way that you made them feel. You want to use stories as weapons because they bypass logic and it goes straight to the emotion and it makes you feel something, which is step number six, storytelling.
But here's the truth. Every knife goes blunt unless you sharpen it. And most people never train this stuff. And that's why most people are average communicators. Which brings us to the seventh point. Step number seven, speaking isn't a talent, it is training. And masters sharpen their blade every single day.
It's just like I was saying before, when I got started in sales, I went deep into the rabbit hole of looking at every single nuance, the way that I say things, and breaking down all of my sales calls. This is what we call reviewing game tape footage. And it doesn't matter if you're a sales professional or not. Everybody is communicating all day long. And if you want to get good at it, it's something that you need to train. And once I became aware of these things and I started to train them every single day, I quickly began to outspeak men that were twice my age.
And some brilliant ways to do this is to set up mini challenges for yourself. If you're about to have a Zoom meeting or jump onto Google Hangouts or present to a group of people, set a mini challenge for yourself. Say that you've got a meeting coming up. Try and do that entire meeting without putting any filler words, "nos" and "rs" for the entire meeting. And because all of these meetings are recorded, then you can go back and you can watch that footage. Or let's just say that you've got children and you're going to be reading them children's books at night. Try to read the entire book without stuttering once, without stopping, without getting a word mixed up, or without saying "um" and a deliver that right with showmanship. Put some energy into it. Not only will your kids absolutely love it, but it is a great mini challenge to really sharpen up your speech.
Another great challenge is to pick a topic that you're passionate about. Set up your phone, hit record, and without a script, just give a 3-minute speech about that topic. Again, paying very close attention to your tonality, your articulation, the cadence, your pauses, all of those things. Then what you can do is you can take that video, upload it to ChatGPT, and say, "You're a world linguistics professional. Please analyze this 3-minute speech and tell me how I can improve on it." Just that act of looking at yourself on camera, speaking about something, looking right down the barrel of the lens, that in itself, that training is going to make you so much better. And it just adds another layer on it by having something like ChatGPT analyze that in a critical way to give you feedback on the things that you can improve.
And like anything, if you want to get great at something, you need to look at the great. Look at some of the greatest orators in the world. Look at their speech. Pay attention to the cadence, their pauses, their inflection. Once you do that enough, you create a language diet of great orators that you're going to study. And it burns that into your memory where you can see the patterns and you start to adopt some of that stuff in the way that you speak. You do that enough with these mini challenges, it is inevitable that you will become a master communicator. And that's step number seven, daily training and discipline.
Now, it doesn't matter if you got all of these last steps right, but you get this next step wrong, all will be lost, which brings us to the eighth and final point, step number eight. Overengineering kills charisma. If you sound like a robot with the words that you're delivering, no one is going to pay attention. They're going to lose the connection with you.
And I have trained thousands of salespeople over my career. And once they learn the script and they know exactly what it is to say, you would think that they would be effective on the telephone. But they're not. And it's because they sound robotic. And a sales call is simply a transfer of energy and conviction. And even if you're saying the right things, but you're not delivering it in the right way, those words never land and no one ever forms a connection or really picks up what it is you're putting down.
And so if you're giving a presentation and there's something that's really important that you deliver, right? Use points and not a script because you're going to try to feverishly rehearse every single word of that script. And as soon as you go off, then you're going to lose all of the conviction in what it is that you're saying. You want to keep an outline and bullet points to exactly the points that you want to make. And then deliver it and rehearse it and practice it enough that you can go off those bullet points, but your main points come across in what it is you're saying.
You want to focus on flow and not perfection. Because, as I said, communication is simply a transfer of energy. And when you get into a rhythm and you're delivering certain information to people in a way that they can feel the depth of your conviction, that is going to be much more memorable than you perfectly placing every single word. And don't get too hung up on exactly the way that you're saying things. Allow for imperfections. Not only does that make you seem human, but it also gives yourself the freedom to go off script, make a few mistakes. As long as you're getting the main points covered and you're doing most right, it doesn't matter if you make a few little imperfections along the way. Because conviction beats polish every single time.
I see it on all the sales people that I train. If someone keeps to 80% of the script, but their delivery is on point and they're really transferring that conviction. It doesn't matter that they're not saying every single word, they will outsell the person who knows the script verbatim. And that's step number eight. Avoid overediting.
Follow these eight steps and you will become the most dangerous communicator in any room. But this is only the start. If you not only want to speak brilliantly, but you want to influence anybody, then click here for my next video. Stay dangerous. Speak with conviction.