Transcription
Okay, today we need to have some tough love because you and I sometimes need to realize that we are the problem. We are the reason things are not working, our goals are not happening, our business is not thriving, our content is flopping. As Taylor Swift would say, "I'm the problem, it's me." And sometimes, we just need to have some tough love, take a step back, and realize the toxic behaviors, habits, mindsets that we have built throughout building everything that we're working towards.
And especially if there is something that you have been working towards for so long, like building a following on social media, building a business, trying to be an entrepreneur, quit your 9-to-5 job. If there is something that you have been working on for a long time that is not happening, I had this experience for so many years. All of my early 20s, I was working towards what I do now, and it never was working. And I swear, sometimes the biggest reason is because of us. So that's what we're going to unpack today.
In the world we live in, we can see so many other people doing what we want to do, and so, so often, we look externally instead of internally for the reasons why things aren't working. So if you were somebody who is building a side hustle, content creation, business, any other business, today I'm going to unpack 10 really common ways I think you and I both get in our own way. And I'm going to unpack each one of how you can stop doing this and relearn a different behavior.
The reason this topic hits home for me so much is because last year, in 2023, it was like the year for me. So many things came true, the vision board came to life. Last year, I was finishing off the first year of my business, and I just never knew how quickly Busy Blooming could grow to a place so fast where I could have full-time employees, host sold-out events in Toronto, have hundreds of clients come into the business. It just grew to a place so quickly. So many things that when I was 22, sitting in my H&M slacks in my cubicle, working corporate marketing in Toronto, so many things that I was dreaming of sitting there when I was 22 happened last year. And if you have been there, by the way, since those days, you are seriously a real one. And the difference between last year and in the years prior of building all these different things is that I learned I was in my own way so much. So today, we're going to unpack how you can get out of your own way.
Okay, let's get into the 10 ways of getting out of our own way. When I was doing research for this episode, I was looking on Forbes and just a bunch of other publications online. Do you know what Forbes says is the number one way to get out of your own way? I was so shocked when I read this. It's to break up with their limiting beliefs. I was just shocked that Forbes, it just doesn't seem like Forbes energy, but I was so surprised to see this because I genuinely feel like this is one of the biggest ways that you and I get in our own way is that we don't realize we have these limiting beliefs about ourselves, about the world, about how other people are doing, what other people are saying.
So I'm going to break it down because I think this is the first big way we get in our own way. I will link the article below, but it says, "Sometimes the biggest obstacle to achieving your full potential is your own beliefs." A limiting belief is a mindset about yourself, others, or the world that restricts your ability to take action towards your goals. These limiting beliefs can be conscious, but are most commonly unconscious and based on past experiences, societal conditioning, assumptions about yourself. And they go on to just say that it is so hard to recognize that you have these beliefs. So I'm going to give some examples of what I feel like are really common ones and ones that I've had in the past.
So, for example, if you were a content creator, you could think, "Okay, it's too late to start on TikTok. It's too late to start on YouTube. It's impossible to grow on social media nowadays. It's too oversaturated." Or you could think, "I can't talk about these topics because I don't have as much experience as other people," or "I can't rebrand what I'm talking about on social media because it's too late." If you're a business owner, you might think, "I can't rebrand my business. I'm already a year in," which I'm going to talk about in a second. Or you could say, "It's not possible to grow anymore. The market of this business is too oversaturated." Like, we just create all these limiting beliefs about the world around us and ourselves that we often times don't realize that we have.
Examples of the ones I have had in the past that have held me back so much and have got me in my own way is thinking that it's too late to start on TikTok. When I was already on YouTube back in 2020 doing vlogs, if you know, you know. I for so long did not start on TikTok because I thought, "Okay, TikTok, it's for like the young 17-year-olds. I'm too old. I'm in my 20s." Also, last year, I completely rebranded my business, which I want to talk about a lot in this episode, but I rebranded my social media presence, my business Busy Blooming, to talk all about entrepreneurship and marketing and branding and social media. And I thought, "There's no way I can start talking about these things. I'm already so in deep talking about corporate life. That's my thing. That's what I talk about. I can't do all these other things that I really wanted to do because I thought, 'I don't have enough followers yet. Like, I can't give all this advice. I have only worked on marketing for like six years at the time. There's like people who are in their 40s working in marketing talking on social media.'" We just create all these beliefs and we tell ourselves all these things that nobody has told us except ourselves.
So take a step back and think, "Okay, am I telling myself a story, or am I giving myself some limiting beliefs that no one else has actually said to me?" So the first big way you and I get in our own way when working towards our goals of building our businesses is having these limiting beliefs, and we don't even realize that we have them, and they're stopping us from doing the things that we're probably meant to do.
Okay, the second big way that you and I get in our own way is by not backing yourself. This is so much easier said than done to back yourself 100% of the time, but let me tell you, when you learn the habit and how to actually do it, it's actually a muscle you have to strengthen. I swear, learning how to back yourself, you become unstoppable. When you really learn how to be internal and have that confidence and back yourself and never question what you're doing and not let other people affect what you want to do with your business, the ultimate phrase of backing yourself is just saying all the time, "I know what I'm doing, and I'm capable of doing it." It's really trusting that you have what you need inside of you to do the things that you want to do, and it's trusting your vision.
It's so important to remember as creators, entrepreneurs, podcasters, if you do this as a hustle, that you are the only person who has the vision in your head of what you want to build. Like, no one else can see that vision that you have in your head. And it is so hard to back yourself throughout the difficult times of when you feel really cringe, or when you're posting like an influencer for the first time, or when you launch a business for the first time, or when you're trying to rebrand or do something new. It just feels really uncomfortable, and it is so important to learn the skill of how to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. Again, it's so much easier said than done to just like thrive when you feel so cringey and like such a big loser, and you just know everyone from your high school is DMing what you're doing to each other. In those moments, that's when you really have to learn to back yourself and think, "Okay, I know what I'm doing, and I'm capable of doing it. It's okay if people don't get it."
But in those moments where you feel like it's really hard to back yourself, maybe you're asking a lot of people for their opinion, you're looking for external validation. What this does is you actually lose control of your business, of your content, of what you're trying to build. And you sometimes stop yourself from doing the things in your business, your content, that you want to do because you've asked way too many people for their opinion. You're getting maybe some backlash, maybe some negativity, and so you just really lose sight of grounding yourself into you and think, "No, okay, I got this. I know what I'm doing."
When doing research for this episode, I was thinking, "Why is it so hard to back yourself and not always rely on people telling you that you're doing a good job or telling you what you're doing is making sense?" It's because, and I can link this study below as well, connection is a neurobiological imperative. So basically, it means it's necessary for survival, for connection. So oftentimes, that's why it's so hard to back yourself and think, "I got this. I know what I'm doing. I can do it. I don't need people to tell me that I'm doing amazing right now. It will come in time," is because we have that neurobiological imperative in us that's really craving connection and approval.
If you were thinking, "I'm not backing myself. I do not have my own back. I look way too externally for validation and approval of what I'm doing and opinions on what I'm doing," don't be hard on yourself because it is our natural instinct to do that. So one of the best ways I have found in the last few years of building my business is that the best, best way to back yourself is to stop asking people what they think unless it is a situation where you have somebody who was doing what you want to do, or you have somebody that's your exact target audience, you really want their opinion. Stop asking, like, your dad, your mom, your sister, your friends who just aren't in the industry or who aren't in the realm of what you're doing for their opinion. Because what it does when you stop asking people what they think all the time is that you create confidence in yourself. You don't even realize that you're doing it. The more that you just launch things and trust the vision and really ground yourself and taking a lot of time to think about what you're doing, it creates so much confidence in yourself, and it makes it a lot easier to back yourself.
One of the biggest ways I have felt the biggest benefits of backing yourself is if you have been here throughout this time, you know that Busy Blooming, my business, launched in June of 2022. But before that, we had a Facebook group, we had a couple of other things going on, and the podcast. But the actual official business launched in June of 2022. So last year, in June, I hosted a big one-year anniversary event. We had had 100 women come out. It was just the most amazing day. Busy Blooming people all coming together, having a panel, having drinks, talking about building our visions. It was just the most amazing day. But throughout the first year of the business, we always had three personas at Busy Blooming. We always helped corporate girlies, we always helped entrepreneurs, and we always helped content creators. So we had the first year of the business doing all of our content, business, everything for all three personas.
So after the first year of the business, I made the decision last year to rebrand the business and focus solely on entrepreneurs and creators and take away the corporate girly, the corporate content of this business. I also did that the same time on my TikTok. So I started talking about influencer marketing and branding and entrepreneurship and all the emotional spirals we always go through as creators, entrepreneurs. And throughout last summer, through the rebrand, through launching it, through the rebrand, I definitely got some backlash, some opinions, some podcast reviews, some DMs, just people thinking that the, you know, it doesn't really make sense, the business should be more corporate-focused, all these different things. But if I last summer had not had the tools in my toolkit to learn how to back myself and trust my vision and trust that this is really what I meant to do and what I'm most passionate about, what makes most sense for the business, it would have been very detrimental last summer to get a lot of feedback and negative reviews and lots of different things coming in. But because I had learned the skill set of, "Okay, I got this. I know what I'm doing. It's okay if people don't like it. It's fine. Long-term, it will make sense." It made it a lot easier to keep going. And let me tell you, after that rebrand, after that shift, I'm going to talk about rebranding more in a second, it was the moment the business took off last fall. Like, hundreds of clients came in, my TikTok hit six figures, like things just grew so fast after that rebrand.
So what I learned through all of this and talking about backing yourself is just the power of backing yourself and learning, "Okay, I got this. I have the vision. It's okay if people have different opinions than me. That's 100% fine." And it's so easy in those uncomfortable moments of feeling cringe, or people making fun of you, or disagreeing, or anything, to just completely regress and go back and just be like, "Never mind, I'm good. I'll go back to what you think." And when you strengthen that muscle back in yourself, it just helps you become unstoppable, and you don't get in your own way.
Okay, the next one, I think will really hit home for a lot of you. And the next way we get in our own way, we stop ourselves from achieving our goals and building our vision, is that we push too hard through closed doors. Okay, so I saw this TikTok recently by Brianna Weest or Brianna West. She's amazing. She has a new book called The Pivot Year, which I really want to read. But she was recently speaking at an event, and I thought I would share this because it shows perfectly how we stop ourselves and get in our own way by pushing through closed doors. So in this video, she says, "You tell life what, and life tells you how." She's basically saying, you can't get attached to how you think you're going to get where you want to go.
So, for example, let's take content creation for an example. If you really want to be a full-time content creator on social media, you might think how you're going to get there is through TikTok, or how you're going to get there is through being a YouTube vlogger, or being on Instagram. But sometimes those doors start closing. Like, TikTok just is not working for you, or your YouTube videos are not performing after years of trying. And so you have some doors closing, like TikTok, that door is closing, it's just not working. But because we're so attached to how we think we're going to get there, we keep pushing and pushing and pushing anyways.
This made me think so much of Mel Robbins' definition of confidence. If you guys do not know who Mel Robbins is, you have to go check her out. I admire her so much. But she says, "This is my definition of confidence: Confidence is simply the willingness to try, even if you might get it wrong, even if you might mess up. By taking action, you are building the skill of confidence. This is the secret to everything." So what she says is ultimately, confidence is the willingness to try. And how I think this links back to pushing through closed doors is that confidence isn't just putting yourself out there all the time, not caring what anybody thinks about you. Confidence is trying new things. So not being afraid to fail at new things.
So if you feel like doors are closing, like your business, one product isn't working, or services aren't really working, you keep pushing and pushing and pushing. Confidence is the willingness to try new things and not being afraid to try. I used to do this all the time with social media, specifically, and with my business. I would try things over and over and over again. It's like that definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So trying the same thumbnails, the same video style, the same services, the same aesthetic branding on your Instagram, the same Canva graphics on Instagram, like for years at a time. You just do the same things over and over again because that's how you think you're going to get where you want to go. But this holds us back so much. We're not realizing we're pushing and pushing and pushing through these closed doors. There's all these ones open that we haven't even gone through yet.
So take a step back and think, "Are you pushing through closed doors?" Like, are there things that you're just not trying because maybe you have limiting beliefs, or maybe you don't want to be seen trying, you don't want to fail? What I'm trying to say is, don't let yourself get in your own way through pushing through closed doors because you're really attached to how you think you're going to get where you want to go.
Okay, next up, I think this will hit home for a lot of you as well, is we often get in our own way because we are too much of a perfectionist. And being a perfectionist, I think sometimes is like a flex in a way. You know, when you go into a job interview and they're like, "What's your weakness?" and you say, "I'm a perfectionist. I just, I'm too perfect." So the definition of a perfectionist is a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection. So if you're working towards building something, content, your business, anything, there are so many times you won't put out podcast episodes, or just do one more tweak on your video, you want to edit the video perfectly, you don't want to put out your services yet, or Instagram graphics, or launch your business yet because it's not perfect yet. It is so easy to get in your own way and spiral of perfection, and you don't even sometimes realize that you're doing it.
I often hear the mindset, "Done is better than perfect," or "It's good enough," like a "good enough" mindset. And sometimes, if you're anything like me, you don't resonate with that because you think, "Okay, done though is not better than perfect. Like, per- it needs to be perfect. I have a vision for it in my head." So if that does resonate with you and you think, "Okay, done is better than perfect, and she get out of my own way," then that's great. If you find that that doesn't really work for you, another way to think about it is that if you feel like you're stuck in this realm of perfection, you are procrastinating maybe a little bit, you just feel like you can't let things go, you can't release them yet because it's just not how you wanted it. Try to ground yourself instead of what you're trying to do, and ground yourself and why.
So, for example, if you want to put out a podcast episode or a video, when you feel like, "I can't just put it out yet, it's not perfect yet," ground yourself. Why are you doing this? Like, who is this for? Are you putting up that video, this piece of content, your services because you want to help people? Because you want to empower somebody to be confident? You want to empower young women to feel confident in their bodies? Like, why are you doing the things that you're doing? If you accomplish that, then "done is better than perfect." Then it's good enough.
Another way to think about perfectionism as well and how to break up with it is that the more things that you do badly, the closer you are to getting where you're supposed to go. You need to put out bad things. You need to put out flop content. You need to put out businesses that aren't going to work, branding that's not going to work. If you've been here with me along the journey of building Busy Blooming, you have seen the many, many iterations of branding from our orange and pink era, which was way back, to our pink and beige, to like having memes on our Instagram, to not like the last few years. I have gone through so many different iterations of putting things out to get us where we are today. So if things fail, it's a good thing.
I also love the sunk cost theory of just not doing things because you've spent so much time doing them, instead of thinking, "That was such a waste of time." I used to get in this mindset all the time and just have breakdowns when I would waste time because I would spend so many hours on a YouTube video that I ended up just not posting. I think that was such a waste of time, but it's not a waste of time. It's getting you closer where you want to be. Think about all the things that you learn doing that. If you put out something that doesn't work, it's not a waste, it's not a failure. You learn from it. You're like, "Okay, got that out of the way. Now I'm one step closer because I had to do that before I got closer to where I'm going to be." So don't let yourself get in your own way by being a perfectionist. It is so much easier said than done, but you got this.
Okay, the next way you and I get in our own way is by giving ourselves identities that we don't even want. The reason this happens is because we let the past version of us, or what we've done in the past, affect our future, and we don't let ourselves change. So, for example, maybe you're in the corporate world. When I was in my younger 20s until I was 25, I was a corporate girly blueprint. I loved it. I was like the marketing H&M suits. Always were my pass out to dinner after work, like would never take it off. My body, I was just obsessed. And I always deep down wanted to be a creator, wanted to be a podcaster, wanted to be an entrepreneur. But I thought, "You know, I just can't do that. Like, I'm a corporate girly. It's who I am. It's who I always will be." I posted on LinkedIn when I got my first job, it was all I talked about with my friends and my family. Like, it was just my whole life. And so even though I always knew deep down I wanted to do this whole other creative world, I always thought, "Well, I can't do it because I'm corporate." So that would have been great, but this is who I am now.
Or maybe you're a business owner and you think, "Okay, we've always done business this way. We've always had these services. We've always targeted this market." So I just can't do what I actually really deep down want to do. So what this actually does is it creates a lot of push versus pull. So what you do is you think, "Okay, I'm going to just keep pushing, keep doing what I've always done. I'm this person. This is what I always do." But you're actually getting pulled in another direction, but you don't let yourself follow it.
All this being said, we often get in our own way because of the identities that we describe ourselves as, and we don't let ourselves shift into something new. This also happens a lot of the time when you don't let yourself call yourself certain things because of these identities that you have for other people. So you think, "Okay, I cannot call myself an influencer until I hit 10,000 followers. I cannot call myself a CEO until I'm a full-time founder and I'm not in the corporate world." Or "I can't call myself a podcaster until I have a million downloads." So you don't even let yourself get these new identities because of how you view other people in those positions.
Give yourself the freedom and permission to call yourself what you want. Get yourself the identities that you want. Call yourself a podcaster, an influencer, a corporate girly, like whatever you want, and not base it on what you've done in the past, and not base it on what you think people will think makes the most sense. Base it on you, and ground yourself because again, you're the one who knows you best. You're the one who knows your vision best.
Okay, the next one is something that I really struggled with on learning. This took me a few years to get through. Is that I was getting in my own way, and I think a lot of us do this by thinking that success only comes from hustle, success only comes from difficulty, it only comes from stress, it only comes from having no life. And this gets us in our own way so often because we push through resistance so much, also because we create this cycle of burnout. And because we think success, getting a bunch of followers, building your business, quitting your 9-to-5, has to come from all this negativity and stress and hustle, that we stop prioritizing our mental health and we lose a lot of ourselves along the way.
This, I think, happens because we see so many people on social media talk about their big businesses, and they have these like eight-figure businesses, but it only happened because they were eating ramen every night and never slept and never had a weekend and never had a life and like struggled so much and was so depressed and stressed and like all these things. So this is what happened to me when I was in my earlier 20s. When I would be burnt out and stressed, I was thinking, "Okay, I am the successful queen. Like, look how burnt out I am. Look how stressed I am. I'm just going to be the best, biggest success ever because I'm such a mess." That is such an unhealthy mentality. And what that does is it first of all ruins your mental health, but it also makes you stop getting into alignment, and it makes you push through those closed doors, it makes you get really burnt out, it makes you keep doing the same things over and over again because you think it's supposed to be difficult.
So what I've really learned when I have had the periods of being the most successful in my business, my content, with anything, it's when I am tapped into what is the most easy and what is the most effortless for me. And success does not have to come from difficulty. Let's take TikTok versus YouTube for example. Let's say you want to be a full-time content creator and you have a brand deal coming in. How much easier is it to make a brand deal on TikTok for a lot of people? That's 30 seconds long versus making a 10-minute YouTube video, integrating the whole thing into that video. For a lot of people, including myself, it is a lot easier to make a brand deal on TikTok that takes 30 seconds than a whole YouTube video. Depending on who you are, like that might not be the case for everybody, but you are getting success in both ways. That brand deal is still successful, but the TikTok is maybe a lot easier. That's just an example of brand deals, but this comes in so many different ways of our businesses and what we're trying to build.
What I've really found is that success might come from difficulty, but sustainable success comes from effortlessness. So instead of getting in this habit of thinking, "Okay, this is so difficult, this is so stressful, I have no life, I'm so burnt out, this means I'm on the right path." Sometimes I've said this all the time, hard work just equals hard work. It does not always equal success. It does not guarantee success. So instead of thinking, "How hard can I work? How much can I push myself? This is so difficult. I'm going to push through it anyways," take a step back and think, "What is my easy? And what is my effortlessness?" Is it easier for me to create on this platform versus this one? Is it easier and more effortless for me to talk about these topics than these other ones? Is it more effortless to do these services versus these ones? Think about you and think, "What is my easy? What is my effortless?" Because that is the most sustainable strategy.
Okay, next up, this is a huge, huge one as well, is we often get in our own way because we are in a victim mindset. The victim mindset is something that was also mentioned a lot on Forbes again, which Forbes is really popping off with their like wellness mindset content recently. But not being in a victim mindset, I think, is the number one trait of a successful person. And the reason why is because it is so hard to not be in a victim mindset when things are not working. If your content's flopping, if your business isn't working, it is such a natural reaction to blame everything around you. It's that neurological part of us again that we want to keep ourselves safe. We don't want to blame ourselves. We think, "Okay, the algorithm, the market, the audience, like there's something wrong with everybody else, but not with us." And so when things don't work, we think, "Well, I, there's nothing I can do. I feel so bad for myself. This is so frustrating. Why is this not happening to me? It's happening for everybody else, but it's not my fault." Like, it's just so easy to get in this mindset.
I see it all the time on TikTok. You see creators come online and think, "Well, my content's not working. The market's too saturated. People don't like my content." Like, whatever. And I just think it's so hard to get out of that mindset because I have been there. I, when I was first doing YouTube back in like 2020, doing some vlogs that are now privated, I always thought, "Okay, these videos are stunning and beautiful and perfect. Like, I just don't understand why they're not working. It's just must be YouTube. It's too late. It's 2020. It's like way past the point where you can blow up on YouTube." Which is so not true. And so what I would do because I was in this victim mindset is just do the same things over and over and over again: the same thumbnails, the same titles, the same vlogs, the same content over and over and over again for years because I thought, "It's not my fault."
And so the opposite mindset of a victim mindset, you could think of is a creator mindset. It's a solution-oriented mindset. And being in a victim mindset, what this does when you're blaming everything around you why things aren't working, is it stops you from doing this entrepreneurial trade of testing and feeling and trying and rebranding and pivoting and strategizing. It stops you from doing all that. So it's really holding you back.
So this, this is probably the most tough love part about it, is the victim mindset and realizing that you're doing it. So again, if you are doing this, don't get hard on yourself. It is such a natural instinct to do this. Take a step back and think about, "Okay, do I need to get real with myself? Like, is my content maybe not as good as I think? Is there another way I could do it better? Or is there another platform maybe I should try? Or maybe is there a new strategy, a new series?" Just in this victim mindset, if you feel like you're in it, are you not trying new things anymore? Are you not strategizing? Are you not rebranding? Like, are you not taking a chance on yourself and risking some things? Because I think this is a bigger self-sabotaging behavior that we have a lot of the time, is we're not taking risks. We're not trying things that might not work. We're not doing things that probably will fail, but maybe not. They're kind of risky and putting myself out there. We don't do things like that. We don't fail fast. We don't make quick decisions, which are again, two of the most successful traits of successful entrepreneurs because we're in a victim mindset. So it holds you back from doing these big, risky things that might change your whole life.
Okay, three more reasons that we get our own way. First of all, really quickly, asking too many people for their opinion. We kind of covered this when talking about not backing yourself, but again, just really quickly, I needed to make this its own point. One of the biggest ways we get in our own way is by asking everybody what they think about what we're doing and not asking ourselves enough. So before launches, about your thumbnails, about what you're doing, your vibe, your aesthetic on Instagram, like everything. Stop asking every single person around you what they think and think about, "What do you think?"
One of the most powerful things you can do is stop trying to stop caring what people think. It's literally biologically impossible to not care what people think about you, but reprioritize what people think about you. Put your thoughts and opinions and vision up here, up top, and put everyone else's under it. And think, "Okay, I'm going to note that it's interesting that people think that, but I have this vision, and I know what I'm doing. I got this. I'm backing myself." And just stop getting in your own way by spending time and energy and effort asking what everyone else thinks about your business, your content, and what you're doing.
Okay, next up is we often get in our own way because we forget to have fun. Like, this sounds so basic and so, I don't even know. But this has really gotten me in my own way because we underestimate joy, happiness, and fun when it comes to building a business, building content, doing what you want to do. We don't care about having fun or really being happy. All we care about is the result. All we care about is the followers, the aesthetic, the content, the brand deals, the income. But that in turn makes you get into this cycle of doing things that aren't aligned, aren't authentic, are going through closed doors because we forget to have fun. And it's so easy to do this.
I used to do this all the time when I would sit down and film a podcast, a YouTube video, do really anything, is that, "Okay, we got to do this. It's hustle time. Podcast time. Let's do the notes. Let's do the best episode we can." But you forget to have fun along the way. And I really think when it comes to content strategy, I say this all the time on my consulting calls, that your energy is arguably the most important thing in your content. And if you're not having fun, you know what your energy is going to do? It's not going to thrive. It's not going to be that great. So don't get in your own way by forgetting that you deserve to have fun. You deserve to be happy while building the things that you want, while creating, while doing your business. It is allowed to be fun. And sometimes you're in your own way because you're not realizing that you're not remembering, "Okay, wait, I am not having fun. Like, I need to have some more fun." And what that does is opens up new opportunities, new things you can try and test and fail up because they're more fun for you.
Okay, the last one. This one is huge, and I want to say this for the end because I feel like it's the perfect way to end and kind of get into the way I want to close this episode. So the last big way that we get in our own way is that we are not grounded and we do not trust the timing of what we want to do. I did a whole episode back a few months ago of "Building Your Dream Life Is Making You Sad," and that whole episode is about how to enjoy the journey and not just like wait for the destination. And I think a lot of the times, and something I didn't really mention in that episode, is that the way that you enjoy the journey of what and how you be content when you're building what you want to build is that you have to ground yourself and trust the process and trust the perfect timing of your life.
We so easily forget that we are not in control of everything. Like, we do not control the timing. Everything's going to happen. We do not control how things are going to happen. We are not God. God, I think sometimes it's so easy to get a God complex when things are going well. Like, if your content's popping off, your business is popping off, thinking like, "I am the creator of life and world and the world, and I create the timing where things happen." It's so easy to get into that mindset when things start working. But it is so important to remember, we do not control the timing of things.
And there are so many things that you and I are going to do past, we're going to go down places, our businesses and content and podcast and whatever you want to build, places those things are going to go that we can't even see yet, and that probably are bigger than the expectations we have in our head. This also goes into the concept of backing yourself because I think backing yourself has kind of two definitions. The first one is having the confidence, trusting that you know what you're doing, trusting you can do it. But the second definition, in my opinion, of backing yourself is trusting that any direction you go down is a successful, amazing, good direction because that's who you are. You are going to do successful things. You are going to do amazing things. You are going to change people's lives because that's what you're going to do.
So taking a step back sometimes, releasing control of like, "Okay, I'm going to make all these things happen. I'm going to push and push and push and push." Take a step back and think, "I'm going to let things happen for a second. I'm not 100% in control of when things happen. I don't necessarily know why they're not working, but I'm just going to take a back seat for a second and let things happen the way they're supposed to." This can be the most grounding process and really help you get out of your own way. If you're in that cycle of burnout and stress and pushing and resistance and just like, "It's not working, it's so frustrating, it's so annoying," and thinking, "There is a plan. Like, there is a reason and a timing. All the things I want to happen are going to happen. I don't know it. I don't know why I'm not getting the followers and the income I want yet, but there's a reason." Like, there is a reason this is not happening. It's not happening to me, it's happening for me. This door isn't closing on me, it's closing for me because there's another open door I'm going to go down.
Really backing yourself and knowing, "I'm going in a good direction. Maybe I don't know what it is yet, but but I have to trust the process. I have to trust there's a plan. I have to trust these things are happening for a reason that I just don't know yet." And this is what happens so often. It's like we look back at when we were teenagers, when we were kids, and we think, "Okay, now I understand why that didn't happen the way it happened," or "Now I understand why I didn't get into that university," or "Why I didn't get that job," or "Why that person broke up with me." I get why that happened now. It's because I am where I am today. So have that same mindset when building your business, when building your content, when building your vision. Like, things are happening for a reason. And in 10 years from now, if you are at the point you want to be at, you'll look back and think, "Thank God that YouTube video flopped. Thank God I didn't get popping off on TikTok, or that business didn't work because it got me to where I want to be today." So this mindset will really help you a lot get out of your own way and really enjoy the process and have fun because that's what you deserve to do.
Okay, that is everything I wanted to say in terms of how to get out of your own way. Those 10 ways and those lessons, I think have just transformed my business, my career, my mental health, like everything. And it just is the most freeing, grounding feeling. So I hope this video was helpful. I hope this episode was helpful. If you're watching this in real time, I really quickly just want to say this is my first episode back in almost three and a half months, I believe. And I just want to say, if you follow me on TikTok, if you follow me on Instagram, you probably have some details of why. It's something I might talk about one day, but all I want to say is that I'm just so grateful to be back. I'm so grateful to be here recording the podcast, making this YouTube video, and just thank you for being here and being a part of the Busy Blooming community.
If you are not a part of our community, go check it out. It's free, it's online, it's all of the amazing people that are in our community that are building businesses and content and brands. And I just love this community and I love Busy Blooming more than you know. In 2024, we have it's 2024. I just, I can't even begin to explain all the things we have planned. I'll get into it in the first vlog back, but it's just going to be an amazing year. We have so many things coming, events, and just everything. I'm really excited. So, but anyways, thank you for listening to this episode. I hope you're doing well, and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.