Transcription
[Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music]
Well, welcome back. Welcome to session number three, "The Difference Between Success and Failure." We're going to learn exactly why some people succeed and why some people fail. So, let's get to it. Today is a longer session than the ones before, but we've broken it down into two parts for you.
First, we're going to talk about the power of beliefs and what they mean, and how they affect you, and how they affect people, especially people that are successful and people that aren't successful, so that you can know the difference. And in part two, we're going to be talking about the importance of managing your state and give you some great examples and exercises and tools to do this. So, put yourself in a peak state now. Put a smile on your face, get excited, and get ready to go. And let's find out what creates the difference between success and [Music] failure.
What's the real difference between success and failure? Between happiness and depression? Between people who experience poverty and the pain they associate to not having choice, and those who have true wealth, emotional, social, and financial? Why is it that some people seem to have every reason why they could be happy, and yet they're still depressed and sad? Are there other people who have every justification to be sad, yet they live this happy, joy-filled life? What makes up the difference in human behavior and emotion? Why do people behave and respond so differently?
I believe the real answer is beliefs. That is what we believe the meaning that we feel certain will come from situations determines how we're going to behave and what we're going to do. You know, oftentimes, I've had the the privilege and the ego stroke of someone saying to me, "Well, gosh, you're so successful. What's the difference between you now and when you lived in Venice?" And I usually tell people, I say, "The difference is a sense of urgency." At that time, I didn't have a sense of urgency. Why? I didn't think anything I could do would make a big difference anyway. My belief was, "You could do everything right, and it could still turn up wrong." And since I had that belief, I wouldn't give 100%. Why do that and then have the pain of failure? Think about it.
All of a sudden, I changed my beliefs. My goals at that time, my compelling reasons, like we just recently worked on yours. My compelling reasons for working were, "How could I do the least and get the most so I could retire?" My goal was to retire. Figured, "I'll make enough money and I'll just retire." I want to do that by the time I'm 25. That was my goal. My goals and my beliefs, the reasons for doing things, changed radically. And it became, "How can I give the most? How can I contribute the most and enjoy the process?" That's why I'm here right now. That one little belief change is the difference between who I was then and who I am now. There were many beliefs that changed along the way, obviously, but that was probably one of those critical ones.
Changing what's going on behind me? Hey, I got a question for you. Think about it. How hard would you really work if you absolutely knew? How hard would you work in this course to really master this stuff, to stay present, to take notes, to manage your state if you've been sitting for a while? How hard would you really work if you knew that by mastering the tools of influence, of persuasion, that you could literally create, be, do, have everything you want for the rest of your life? If you really believed that in your gut, how hard would you work?
Question: How many cold calls would you make? How hard would you prospect? But how many cold calls would you make a day? How many hours would you work a day if you really, in your gut, believed that by making these massive number of calls in this next year, you'd earn all that you wanted to earn in terms of happiness, joy, and money? You'd earn over a million dollars in personal income, seven figures. How many cold calls would you make? If capital or money motivates you, my assumption is if you're in sales, it has some level of motivation for you. So, a million dollars. Think about it. How hard would you work?
And here's my point. We just finished working on the idea of creating some compelling reasons. Remember, I told you that the difference between success and failure is a sense of urgency or compelling reasons. People who really succeed, it's not that they're more intelligent. I'm no more intelligent than anybody else around me, but I have been more successful in the endeavors of business than a lot of my associates, a lot of people that I learned with, a lot of people I studied with. Again, not because I was bright, not because I was great, because I developed more reasons. I had more of a demand of myself. I had more of a sense of urgency. And all those things came from developing strong goals, but not only strong goals, but the belief that I really could get them, and that there were enough reasons for me to get them. That's the difference.
Because lots of people set goals. So, it's not enough to set the goals. You've got to get where you believe those goals will happen. Beliefs are probably the single most important element of what determines what you're willing to try, what you're willing to buy, what you're willing to do, who you marry, if you marry, whether you have kids, how you're going to live your life. All comes down to your basic core belief systems. Many times, we don't have what we want in our life just because we have this feeling of certainty that we can't have it, or this feeling of certainty that it's going to be tough. It's like, whatever we believe, we make true.
There's an old corny phrase, it says, "Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't, you're right." I really believe it's true. I mean, think about it. You probably know the story of Roger Bannister, right? The gentleman who uh ran the four-minute mile, first human being to ever pull that off. And most of you probably know that for thousands of years, human beings were trying to run a four-minute mile and never were they able to really get that done. In fact, the belief system became, "The human body cannot move that fast."
And you probably know that the reason Roger Bannister was able to do that is not because he was so much more physically strong, but what he did did is he rehearsed in his mind over and over and over again running that four-minute mile successfully, till he felt so certain. That's all a belief is, a feeling of certainty. He felt so certain that he was able to get his body convinced. He was able to persuade his body to do something his body didn't think it could do. And as a result, he ran a four-minute mile. Human beings' capabilities are directly related to their beliefs.
What we're going to do in this program, before we ever talk about influencing somebody else, is we're going to explore your beliefs. What are the beliefs that are keeping you from being and doing and having all that you want? And what are the beliefs that are making your life great and the areas that you're most proud and the areas that you feel strongest? What is it that's really working there? What is the belief that's supporting you behind that? And so, we're going to explore those and help you to learn how to change your own beliefs. Because you can learn all the sales techniques in the world, and you can learn to do these closes and sell these things, but if you don't learn how to influence yourself and your feeling of certainty about what you're capable of, what you deserve, what the prospect deserves, what your product is, the relationship between, you know, commitment and energy and results, if you don't alter those things, then everything else you're going to learn is going to make a minor shift. The major shift happens when those beliefs change. Then it's like the gates open, and the flow of money, energy, choice, love will happen.
Now, what do I mean by a belief? Well, let's think about it. A belief is nothing but a feeling of certainty about what something is going to mean to you. That's all a belief is. In other words, when you say, "I believe something," you're saying, "I feel pretty certain in my gut that this will mean something to me." Let me be even more specific. Do you recall earlier we said that everything people do, they do for reasons? So, let's chunk that down for a second. I said to you that whatever people do, they're doing it out of their desire to achieve or avoid various states. Remember we said people have two targets? Okay. One target is the states of pain and pleasure. In other words, there are certain emotional states we're trying to move away from, and there's certain emotional states that we want to move towards. Does this make sense to you?
So, the big question in life, the question if you want to motivate people, the big question is, "Why?" We always want to know why people are doing things. Why is the question. It's not enough if somebody says to me, "I want a fast car that'll take me from zero to 60 in 50 seconds." My question to them is, I said, "That's phenomenal. So, I agree with them. I'm curious. Why? What is it about that you enjoy?" "Oh, I don't know. I just, I enjoy it. It feels good." Okay, okay. Or you say, "Well, are there other things in your life that you like also that are fast?" I go, "Yeah, I like to have fast things." And so, I begin to do is find out a little bit behind them.
Somebody says, "I want to trip around the world." I don't assume I know why. I want to know why. Which means I want to know, what are their beliefs? What do they feel certain? They feel pretty certain that a trip around the world's going to give them. And then they'll begin to tell me, "I feel certain that if I do that, it'll give me, let's say, adventure." Okay. And it also keep me from being bored. Maybe boredom is something they don't want to experience. So, they think, "God, by going this trip, I don't have to feel bored anymore, and I have adventure." I now know key elements and how to motivate them to do other things as well. Does that make sense? In other words, I know that if I'm going to motivate them to do things, that one of their hurts is probably what? Boredom. That one of the pleasures they want is probably what? Adventure. Or in this person, let's say, family or acceptance.
So, the bottom line is, we need to know this about us. But what you actually do in a given situation is based on your belief that if I do X, if I X, then Y will happen. So, if I go on a trip, then I'll enjoy myself. You know, some people don't want to go on a trip around the world. Why would somebody not want to go on a trip around the world? The answer is, they believe, "God, if I go on a trip around the world, I'm going to have to lug all this stuff. And plus, I'll probably get bit by a rattlesnake." Another, "They go on a trip on the world. I mean, I've done that once before, and it just, you know, it wasn't what it was cut out to be. I didn't know anybody. I couldn't speak the language. You know, the food wasn't any good. Couldn't find McDonald's, right?" So, you get the idea of what I'm saying.
See, we want to study other people. I'm showing you this right now, but the person who we've got to really understand the core of is you. You've got to find out what are your beliefs. Because some of your beliefs, I would hazard to guess, are limiting you from going for things. I had an experience that was not real pleasurable. I had some partners in business, two of them. One of those particular partners was not 100% honest. In fact, he embezzled about a quarter of a million dollars. And he ran my company about $758,000 in debt while I was working on the road doing seminars, literally 25 days, 28 days a month. Was a fairly intense experience. Fascinating is the word I now choose to use for it. But, um, the point is that what happened for me was everyone around me came to me and said, "Tony, um, you're a good guy. It's not your fault. And the company's going to go under. There's no possible way. You're going to have to go bankrupt. So, how do you want to get started?"
Now, what's interesting is I have a different set of organizing beliefs. I have a belief that says, "There's always a way." That if you're committed, let me put it that way, if you're committed, then there's always a way to pull it off. If you're 100% committed. Now, we all have a different idea of what committed means. Committed in me means you just do whatever it takes. I don't care what it is. There are no limits. Committed. Other people is, "I'll try it a time or two and see what happens." And in less than a year, because of that one belief, instead of I focusing on the question of, "Well, how will we go bankrupt?" the question changed. And the question mine was, "Okay, how do we make this thing work? How do we turn it around in spite of it all? What do we need to do?" And by asking those questions, I got better answers. Does that make sense?
The quality of your life, I will tell you right now, and you'll hear me say this often, the quality of your life comes down to the quality of the questions you ask yourself. Because there's an old phrase that says, "Ask, and you shall..." What? Receive. That's right. And if you ask lousy questions, you will get lousy answers. If you say, "How will I go bankrupt?" you'll get answers. If you say, "How can I turn this thing around in spite of it all and enjoy doing it?" then you're going to find out those answers as well. If you keep asking the question.
The bottom line is, I want you to think about finding out what people's beliefs are. And then what you've got to do is you've got to create a new possibility. You've got to create a way for them to be able to say, "Okay, if I purchase this, then it's going to mean more pleasure than pain." And the way you're going to do that is the way we've already taught you, and the way we're going to break it down into 10 steps. But I want you understand the basis behind this.
Now, let's see if this is really true. Is what we do really the result of what we believe? Is that really the source? I'm going to ask you some questions. Let's have some fun. Questions for you. Uh, how about a question like, um, oh no, let me ask you an intense question instead. Let me ask you a tense question, and that'll be fun for me. Would you be willing to murder an innocent person in order to stop hunger all around the world? Because, uh, somebody, what is it, dies? Now, I think 40,000 people a day or something of that nature die every day of hunger. So, the question is, would you be willing to murder an innocent person to stop hunger around the world and save all those lives? Yes or no?
One person says, "Which person?" Okay, that's interesting. So, that person began to search their mind and they said, "Would I be willing to do it?" And they said, "Well, it'd probably be painful, except for certain people, it might be pleasurable." So, he began to reevaluate what would this mean. He's, he's not sure what it means. You know, you got these emotional reasons why you should do it because you could save 40,000 lives a day, and you got this other one, which is murdering someone is never something that's acceptable to you. And these, and they're both, both compelling because they're both really intense emotions. You're not sure. Other people's like, "No problem. I'll murder them because, I mean, come on, 40,000 lives."
Some people believe that their giant belief system here that they organize things with, that they feel certain about, is, um, you ever see Star Trek? There's a place there where Spock says, "The the value of the many surpasses the value of the one." Some people think that way. So, they'd say, "Listen, one person." Some people say, "Yes, I would murder someone." Myself, creative thinker, right? They found a way. What they do is they search your mind and said, "Both ways would be painful, but if I did it, I would at least know I gave my life for something valuable." And even though I'm killing myself, it would create what? The pleasure of knowing my life had a sense of purpose. Isn't it interesting how people's brains work? It's rather fascinating to me, at least. I hope it is to you.
Let me ask you another question. For an all-expense-paid trip for any place around the entire world, would you be willing to tear off the wings of a beautiful butterfly? Yes or no? Yes? You're a mean sucker, aren't you? Yeah. So, raise your hand if you'd be willing to do it for an all-expense trip. Whoa. You guys are disappointing me here. Can't you tell what my values are, can you? How many would absolutely not do it? Let me see. What? Hands. Ah, yeah. There are the good souls in the room. Whose beliefs are those? Do we, by the way, do we judge other people through our beliefs and values? You better believe it. And by the way, whose value are right? Our own, obviously. We always feel. We feel certain, otherwise we wouldn't have those values.
Now, in this room, most people here believe that they'd whip them off. Why? It's an insect. It's just an insect. Interesting. Okay. So, what this person is saying is saying, "It's just an insect." As they're saying, "I associate to insects feelings that are not as strong as human beings." Isn't that true? I should tell you, there are two kinds of beliefs. So, you can follow me on this. There are beliefs I call global beliefs. Global beliefs are things like, "I am," "People are," "Life is," "Insects are," "Right is," "Is," "Am," "The words I use to describe global beliefs." Okay. Global beliefs affect the way we look and interpret what things are going to mean in advance. It determines a long time ago, we decided this is what it means, and we use that to make future evaluations.
Like, for example, if you walked into a room and you were in there and, um, you left your wallet or purse in the room, and you have this belief that says, "Martians steal." Okay. And sure enough, you leave the room, and you come back, and your wallet or purse is gone. And you notice that there are two martians in the room. What immediately becomes the question in your mind that you're going to ask based on that belief? What, what would you guess it would be? That's right. "Which Martian took it?" Not, "Where did I leave my wallet?" Not, "Did somebody pick it up and put it in another place?"
Now, what if you believe that Martians are totally honest, and so are all human beings? And the room is only filled with Martians and human beings, and your global belief is, "Martians and humans are totally honest and capable of stealing." When you walk in the room and your purse or wallet is missing, what are you going to ask? "Has anyone seen it?" Yeah. "Where did I leave it?" "Where did somebody put it for me?" You follow me.
So, when you walk in to meet a, a prospect, you're walking into, I call this a reference book. This is a giant book or file cabinet full of preconceived notions about what things will mean. Don't you? Global beliefs. Salespeople are right. Finances are too complicated. Insurance is negative. Buying a home is a big decision, right? You know, making an investment in satellite communication is very intense. Using another printer is a pain. You know, having to change is tough. Those would all be global beliefs. You follow me?
And so, you cannot, in persuading a prospect, jump in. I shouldn't say you cannot. You can do anything, but it is probably better not to attack a person's beliefs. Because people have different levels of beliefs. Some beliefs, they're kind of like, they feel pretty certain about, and some beliefs, they would give their life rather than change. Have you ever been in an argument with somebody when you attacked one of those beliefs? It can get rather intense, can it? So, the general strategy in selling is, find out what they want. In other words, find out who we're dealing with, and let's meet their needs by aligning with their beliefs and then redirecting.
Somebody says to me, "Salesmen are dishonest." My response will be, "No, they're not." I wouldn't say that. I'd say, "You know what? Unfortunately, a lot of them are, and it totally tarnishes, you know, the idea of people like myself who really do care. That's why I don't even think of myself as a salesman. You know what I really am? I'm a CEO, a financial CEO. I'm here to help you manage those finances." If I was, for example, a stockbroker. So, if you're a stockbroker, don't say, "Well, they say stockbrokers are dishonest." Don't go, "No, they're not." Say, "A lot of them are, and you know what? I don't even think of myself that way. What I am is this. Not one of those." See, that's the way to deal with things. Not to fight them, not to tell them they're wrong. No one in this world wants to be made wrong. And if your style of selling is to try and show the client how they're wrong so you can now show them what's right, I guarantee you, you'll never make it into that group I call the 250. The 250 are the people that make a quarter million dollars a year or more, or in their industry are considered to be the top. So, it's not just economics. Because in some industries, you're not rewarded economically for how much you contribute. But in most, the selling industries, that's true. And that's why I use that criteria. But if you want to be in that top 1%, you've got to really make sure you align with the beliefs, not attack them. Is this making sense so far? Great.
So, one type of belief I call a global belief. Global beliefs. And global beliefs are the "I am," "Life is," "People are," "Butterflies are." What will happen to your selling? So, I think what we're going to do is this. Let's have you sit down, and I want you just for a moment to think about the answer to those five questions for you. Why is it that you know your product really well? First of all, why do you care about the prospect? You know, why can people count on the fact that you're not going to take advantage of them? How is that true? What are the beliefs you have behind that? Let's go to the second one after that. Second one: What is it about your product? What are the advantages and benefits, and what will they mean to people? Because people don't buy benefits, they don't buy advantages, they buy what it's going to mean to them. And a benefit has got to have some meaning to them. If you just sell random benefits, it may not mean anything. It's like saying, "You'll have an adventure." That may be a benefit of a product, the adventure of it. But if they don't like adventure, and what they want is security, you got a problem. But what are some of the major benefits for you so that you can transfer some of that feeling of certainty to somebody else if they have similar values?
Third thing I want you to write down: What are the beliefs you have? What is it that gives you certainty that those objections you usually hear, money and time, all that stuff? What is it that you feel makes it so much more worth that? So, if you want to be powerful, here's what most people do. They practice the words. So, they learn in traditional selling, they learn closes, and they come in, they deliver the closes, and they do it perfectly. They say all the right words, but it doesn't work. You want to know why it doesn't work? It doesn't work because they don't feel certain about what they're saying. They feel certain about the words, but they don't feel certain that it's really right. And that's why the person doesn't get convinced. That's why you're going to learn closing here, but no close can make up for you not believing and being certain that what you're giving the prospect is 10 times more valuable than what you're asking for in return. If you really believe that in your gut, there's no limit. So, I want you to answer that question: Why is your product worth 10 times what you ask for in return, in terms of money, or time, or effort?
Okay. Fourthly, I want to make sure you answer the question strongly within yourself about your own products or services. How can that person justify doing this with the people around them? You need to help them to justify it. And how will it benefit the people around them? What are some ways that you're certain will benefit people around them? General things that consistently help the people around them. And sometimes it's by helping that person to have something, it puts them in a better state, it makes them treat people around them better. There are lots of reasons.
And lastly, make sure that you can think of reasons why they should do it now. Because I'll tell you something, in my own sales team, I tell them the most important thing they've got to do is get you to realize that this is something you need to do now. Because otherwise, if people can put things off, they will. Because people don't want to have to make a decision. They don't like that. They don't want to make heavy-duty decisions. And they don't want to commit time. They don't want to commit resources. Because in the short term, it looks like pain. Because most people are short-term oriented, I would think. Would you agree with me on that? Yeah. So, they look at the short-term and they go, "Pain." They don't look at the long-term, which could be massive pleasure.
You have to be a long-term thinker to be successful. Hey, the Japanese, if you go talk to a Japanese businessman, they got a hundred-year game plan, a century game plan. You go to the average businessman in America, and you'll be lucky to find a five-year plan. In fact, usually it's, "What are we going to do by the next quarter that's going to affect, you know, people who are invested money here in our company?" And it's a challenge. It affects us. So, what I tell people is, you've got to show them how it's compelling. Now, you've got to get some to realize, "Now is the time to do this." And if they don't do it now, it's going to hurt. Think about it. Life is like a river. We're moving on it, right? It's traveling. And what happens? This river is going along, and most people don't look up to see where is it going. And one day, they end up five feet from Niagara Falls in a boat with no oars, and they go, "Oh, shoot. It's a little late." See? So, you know what the problem is? A persuader didn't come by and say, "Come here, I got to talk to you while you're still upstream." And say, "You know where you're heading?" This is very real. And make it real enough so that you put them five feet from Niagara so they're motivated, they feel the pain, and want to change. That's really what you've got to do here. You've got to make sure the reason to do it now.
So, let's do some thinking. What are some of the beliefs that you already have? What are some beliefs you need to have in these areas in order to be really effective and being able to close people? Because if you don't have that certainty within you, you're not going to transfer it to anybody else. All right, let's do it right now. Now, by the way, just because Joseph's here, that doesn't mean you're alone. I'm here too. You better follow through on this exercise, because otherwise, how can you be a leader if you don't even get yourself to follow through? Leaders go first. Develop the habit, the momentum of taking action immediately. So many people say, "Oh, I'm going to do it later." Don't do it later. Do it right now. If you get that habit in your body, that discipline, you're going to find yourself exploding through things that you used to talk about, because you don't wait. You don't make it bigger. You just do it. So, do the exercise.
Hi me again. I have a question for you. Did you do the exercise? Did you answer those five questions for yourself? If you didn't, you know what to do. Go back and do it now. I hope you're starting to get the flow of this, how this works. If you did, that's great. Then I have some questions for you as well. What did you learn about yourself? Your congruence? About why your product or service is extremely compelling to somebody? Why they would want to buy it? So, be sure to write this down so that you can build upon it and build your own congruence in your own body. It's very important.
And also, before we move on, I want you to realize that our own beliefs about ourselves and what we are capable of and what we can do affect our own futures as well. I'll give you an example in my own life. Years ago, when I was 19 years old, I was homeless. I lived in a cardboard box behind the drive-in in an Alope Valley, California. And what had happened earlier was I'd actually crashed my motorcycle and had was in an accident and didn't have any money, couldn't take care of myself. And I pushed my motorcycle to the back of this drive-in. I was at the bottom of my life. And I remember sitting there, and and I'm intellectualizing about it right now, but at the time, I didn't know. And I remember sitting there thinking, "What about me?" I thought about, you know, what I felt about myself, and really, what I believed about myself. I believed that I was worthless. I believed that I wasn't smart. You know, I didn't do well in high school. I believed that I had horrible luck. I believed that the color of my skin meant that I was not going to do well in this world. And I believed that I didn't deserve to have what others had. And I had believed that all the way up until that place. That's why I found myself where I was.
And what happened? It's funny now, but at the time, it wasn't. I was in the desert, and that night, it started raining. And if you can imagine what rain does to cardboard, my house turned to mush. And I literally sat there and and started crying. I didn't see any other choice. I because all of these beliefs that I had about myself, and I just started crying. But something happened to me in there, and I just remember saying out loud that, "I deserve the best, and everything's going to change tomorrow." And I sat up all night long, and I remember thinking about how I really wanted it, how I would prefer it to be. And I started thinking about the things that my friends had or people that that did better than me, what they had. And I started imagining myself having those things and thinking, "What if? What if? What if?" And I remember saying it, "It's never going to be this way again."
And the interesting thing in those days, my name is Joseph McLendon III, and in those days, I was Joe. And I remember at that time was the time that I started calling myself Joseph McLendon III because it felt better. And I remember thinking, "Well, gosh, that's a regal name," and it made me feel better. And I started believing those things that I started saying. And sure enough, the next day, and and actually, it was through the kindness of a stranger, gave me a book to read, and and my life changed at that point. And I started believing different. I started getting different results. I literally woke up that next morning, pushed my motorcycle to a welding shop, and did something about it. And it all stemmed from me believing things about myself.
Now, the reason I share that with you is so that maybe you can think about maybe what your previous beliefs were about yourself. And remember, so much of our success in life, and even more important, our fulfillment, comes down to our beliefs and the meaning that we're attaching to that situation. In my situation, when I was down and out, I felt that the meaning was, "I was worthless." But then, you know what? I changed it around. And I remember thinking to myself, "This is the bottom, and it's never going to happen this way again." You must stand guard at the doors of your mind.
Now, just as important as our beliefs is our ability to manage our state. Can you think of a time that maybe you lost a sale, or the ability to influence somebody, your spouse, your children, co-workers, because you didn't manage your state? You know what I mean? Because you got angry, or you got upset, or you, or you said something that you didn't want to say. Either you couldn't get yourself to take action, or you took action, but your state wasn't as powerful as it could have been.
In part two of this session, Tony's going to walk us through the consequences of not managing our state, as well as some strategies for how to do this quickly and effectively. And also, I want to remind you that Tony's going to give you some opportunities and some examples and exercises to do, and they're going to require that you literally do them with your body. And what that means is you're going to need to move. So, if you're driving, you might want to pull your car over. You know, maybe get out of your car, or go somewhere, somewhere where you can move your body. If you're in your office, you might want to close the office door, get in a place where you can feel free to move your body. It's very, very important. So, let's get on with it, and let's learn about the power of state.
[Music] [Applause]
Management. There are three reasons why people usually fail in life, and especially in selling. The first reason is they don't have compelling enough reasons to really give themselves the energy or the boost to really go out there and use all of their skills. There are a lot of very, very talented people in the world who never really tap that full potential just because they don't have enough reasons to. They're, um, in lack of wants, if you will. We've talked about selling is motivation, and motivation is giving people wants, reasons to do things. A lot of people just don't have those. And weak wants is probably the biggest killer of dreams and sales success you could ever imagine. So, that's why we spent quite a bit of time here after we did the overview of selling, having you work on developing some real wants, some reasons to go out there and really do it.
The second challenge, and the second key to failure in life and in selling, is limiting belief systems. Beliefs that shut off the possibility before you even begin. Uh, we talked a little bit about the four-minute mile and people's belief that the human body couldn't even go that fast. And as a result, most people didn't even attempt it, or if they did, they thought they're giving 100%, but they really weren't. All they needed was one person to show it was really possible. So, limiting beliefs, second major key to failure in life and in selling.
And then the third one is the inability to consistently manage your state when the going gets tough. And I think there are a lot of sales people who do get excited and are motivated and have some very big goals and do have good beliefs, but all of a sudden, they miss out on this third one. A lot of people think having a great attitude, as so many people call it, being in a good state consistently, they think that's, uh, having a bank account. That's not state. That's a bank account. Anybody can feel good when there's plenty of money in the bank, and everybody around them is treating them well, and everybody's treating them like they love them, and everything is perfect.
The difference between success and failure, and the quality of people's lives, is their ability to take tough situations, situations that take the traditional individual and drive them to emotions like despair and discouragement, and be able literally convert those emotions very quickly, very easily, into emotions that empower them. So, I want you to think about this. What are the consequences if you don't manage your state? Before we even talk about how to do it, let's talk about why to do it. Because like in anything else I've talked to you about, why to, I believe, is 80%, and how to is the 20%. You got to know the how-to, that's clear, but you've got to know why to more importantly. Because I've taught people how to manage their states and been blown away by them not being able to manage their state in the situation, even though they knew how. But isn't that true of anything in life? People know how to do something, and they still don't do it, simply because they don't have a big enough why. They don't have enough reasons.
So, to help you do that, let's use our normal motivating and selling technique on ourselves. Let's look at what pain will result if we don't manage our states. So, I got a question for you. What will happen if you don't consistently manage your states? If after, for example, a major disappointment, you really, you know, revel in it, what will happen to your next sales call? Will you be in a state that will support you in being at your peak and really making a difference with that customer or client? I seriously doubt it. What are the consequences of those things? Well, not only do you lose a sale, but you start to feel lousy, and you start momentum in another direction. I mean, think about this. Have you consistently managed your state every single time you're in front of a customer? I doubt it. Have you done it 90% of the time? For most people, I doubt it. For most people, state management is something they kind of just gloss over and go, "Yeah, I feel pretty good. Let's just go do it." But I don't know if that's enough.
I think that what's really important for us in life and in selling is to really take a look at our states and make sure we're getting the most out of ourselves. And I'm not saying you can't get discouraged, and I'm not saying never get down, and I'm not saying become what I call a "perpetualer." You know, those kind of people, they're always like this. You go, "How's it going?" They go, "Fine." You go, "What are you doing?" They go, "I don't know, but it feels good." That's not what I'm suggesting. I'm not talking about just being all upbeat. I'm talking about being intelligent. And managing your state is being intelligent. It isn't just being all upbeat. It's being intelligent because you know that, hey, I have a right to feel bad about this, but if I feel bad, it's not going to make it better. So, the question is, what do I need to do to turn things around instead of just feeling bad? What do I need to turn it around and put my focus on what I'm going to do instead of the emotion of disappointment, discouragement, frustration, anger, or whatever? Does that make sense so far?
So, we've got to really give ourselves enough reasons to manage our state. And I'm going to give you that as homework. That'll be one of your assignments here, is to really get it compelling enough that you're willing to manage your state when it's not easy. Again, everybody does it when it's easy. It's when it's tough that's what separates those who succeed versus those that just get by. How do we manage our states and why? Well, one why, again, I have to mention, is the state you're in determines your behavior and your performance. All performance, whatever we do, is state-related. If you're in a lousy state, emotionally, mentally, or physically, it's going to affect the way you affect other people. And since you and I are paid for performance, we better manage our state so that we can put ourselves in a place where we enjoy ourselves, and we earn, and we produce the results that we're in business to do.
What people do is based on the state that they're in at any moment in time. And obviously, we can be in all kinds of states, and that's why we can have all kinds of behaviors. If you ever looked at somebody and you saw somebody do something and you got really upset, like, "How could they do that? You know, how could they treat me so harshly?" And I've never even met this person before. One of the things to remember is, have you ever snapped at somebody when it had nothing to do with them? And for most of us, the answer is yes. We're not really happy about it, but there have been times we've snapped at maybe our children or a stranger, and it was just the state we're in. Our behavior was about the state, it was not about them. People have in life.
So, remember, if you want to fail, it's real simple. Have no compelling reasons, or have very weak reasons for succeeding. Some goals you look at once every six months. Second, make sure you have lots of limiting beliefs. And third, make sure that whatever you do, you don't manage your state. That what you do is just be in reaction all the time to whatever is happening in the environment, and complain about the fact that the wind is not blowing in your direction. Listen, you and I can't control the weather, but we can control our sales. No pun intended.
So, have some fun. Manage your state. Create a morning ritual, results ritual, QSP, questions, switch pattern, physiology. And if you do that, you'll get more sales than most people ever dream of. In fact, if you think about how much money you've probably lost, how much money do you think you've lost in the last three years because you've not consistently managed your state? Think about it. The sales you didn't go for, the calls you didn't make because you didn't feel like it, or you weren't in peak, or you put it off. The calls that you made, but weren't 100% there. The closes you could have made if you were in a peak state. And think about this: How much money do you think you can make now if you make it an absolute necessity that you manage your state every single day? Become what I call one of the few who do versus the many who complain. That's my challenge to you. Because, you know what? In life, every one of us needs to realize that our lives, in the end, is going to come down to one or two things. Either our life is going to be an example, or it's going to be a warning. I'd like to be an example. I hope you do too. And the only way we can be an example is if we manage our states. So, have some fun and play with it. And let's move on now to, let's take the selling process. We've taken some time to get to it, but the reason is, we got to take care of the foundation first. You understand what selling is? That is really motivation. And then second of all, we had to find out what we had to get out of the customer. How do we had to turn them around? How we're going to motivate them to be able to do that? Thirdly, we had to understand how to sell ourselves. How to make sure our foundation is here. Now, we're going to selling, finally. You say, "Amazing 10 Steps to Sales Mastery." That's what's next. But before we do, make sure you do your exercise and design your [Music] questions.
Great job. Now, did you come up with a power move that puts you in state? Do you feel the difference when you do this? You know, several years ago, again, I learned a power move, and to this day, I still do it. And what I found out is, it's almost automatic. Before I do something, you can't see me right now in the studio, but you can hear it. And it literally makes me feel excited. Sometimes it makes my hair tingle. And what's really great about it is, you can do it anywhere, anytime. At this stage, I don't care who sees or notices. Sometimes I'll do it in private, but it's something that puts you in state. And what I want you to do is to, if you haven't got one, make sure you get one and practice it over and over again. You know, do something that might feel goofy. And sometimes it's just as simple as putting a, a big smile on your face and standing like you're the most glorious person in the world. Do it, and then you'll feel it.
Now, tomorrow morning, when you wake up, be sure that you do your power move. Three times is great, but you know what? I do it like 10 and 15 times every morning. And then ask yourself some empowering questions. You know the ones: What are you grateful for? What are you happy about today? What are you excited about today? What's the best thing happening in your life? Now, it's one thing to have a standard for your life, but it's another thing to have your daily habits and rituals that will determine whether those standards are followed. And what I mean by that, said differently, talk is cheap. You can say what you're going to do. There have been times in the past where I said, "I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that," and I've even written stuff down, but I didn't follow through. It wasn't until I got up every single morning, and listen, your life is worth it to take five, 10 minutes to do that, to get yourself excited for the day, and to put yourself in the best possible position and state and thought pattern to get the things done that you want to.
Now, we spent a great deal of time on these concepts, the physiology and the tools and the psychology of selling, because we wanted to create a great foundation for you. And this foundation will give you the emotional impact that you need. Now, in our next session, we're going to learn the 10 steps to increasing your sales. I'll see you [Music] then. [Music]