Transcription
Pharaoh: Yu-Gi-Oh! was filmed before a live studio audience.
Yugi: Hey, Joey! Earth to Joey! Hey, are you in there? It's your move.
Joey: Sorry Yug. Doing this Brooklyn accent makes it difficult to concentrate on card games.
Tristan: I know what you mean. My voice is pretty crazy too. I'm thinking about changing it.
Yugi: By the way, my grandpa has a super rare card.
Tristan: Groovy!
Joey: Hey, Bada-bing.
Kaiba (V.O.): Rare card... That sounds vague enough to be the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. And since I'm a child billionaire in charge of a huge gaming company, I obviously have nothing better to do than go check it out.
Yugi: Hey gramps, can we please see your Super Rare Awesome Chocolatey Fudge-Coated Mega Super Card?
Grandpa: I don't see why not. Here it is the Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
Joey: That's the least threatening name for a monster I've ever heard. What kind of mook could want a card like that?
Kaiba: I'm here for your Blue-Eyes old man, and I won't take "No" for an answer. Now, give it to me.
Grandpa: No.
Kaiba: Curses! Foiled again. I'm going to go hire some thugs to kidnap you now. I'm a billionaire so nobody will even think about pressing charges.
Grandpa: That Kaiba kid needs to get laid.
Tristan: Big time.
Yugi: Hello! Game shop.
Kaiba: I kidnapped your Grandpa Yugi, and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself.
Yugi: Wait, who is this?
Yugi: Grandpa! Are you okay?
Grandpa: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured.
Kaiba: That's right! And now, watch this!
Yugi: Grandpa's Special Super Rare Awesome Super Card!
Joey: What the heck did you do that for?
Kaiba: So that it could never be used against me.
Yugi: In that case, why not just tear up every card in the whole world?
Kaiba: Shut up and duel me!
Yugi: Don't worry gramps. I'll win this duel with your deck.
Grandpa: Wait, wait a minute. I've been injured, so you're going to steal my deck and go play cards with your arch-rival?
Yugi: Pretty much.
Grandpa: No wonder your parents are never around.
Téa: Gather 'round everyone and I'll mark us with a special sign.
Joey: Uh, Téa... Hey, not for nothing, but ain't this permanent marker?
Téa: Oh. Whoops.
Joey: Why were you even carrying that thing around in the first place?
Téa: I'm a kleptomaniac. I stole it from school.
Tristan: Hey, my wallet's missing!
Téa: Kaiba took it!
Pharaoh: It's time to duel!
Kaiba: Wait, did your testicles just drop in the last five seconds or something? What the heck happened to your voice?
Pharaoh: Holy Ra! Real monsters!
Kaiba: Actually, they're just super advanced holograms created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a children's card game.
Pharaoh: Okay, seriously, you've got to be ****ing kidding me! Who wastes all their money on something like that?
Kaiba: The guy who's going to beat your pasty pharaoh butt with three Blue-Eyes White Dragons, that's who!
Pharaoh: Wait a minute! Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
Kaiba: Yeah, so?
Pharaoh: That's against the rules, isn't it?
Kaiba: Screw the rules, I have money! Now draw your last pathetic card, Yugi, so I can finish you.
Pharaoh: My grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba! ...Except maybe for Kuriboh... But it also has this! The unstoppable Exodia.
Kaiba: Aaah, Exodia! It's not possible! Nobody's ever been able to summon him!
Pharaoh: Really? Is that because it's so rare?
Kaiba: No, it's because this game makes no sense. Nobody could figure out how to do it.
Pharaoh: Nobody except me! Exodia! Obliterate!
Mokuba: Big brother! Is it time for my cameo yet?
Kaiba: How? How could you summon Exodia?
Pharaoh: Kaiba, if you really wish to know, then talk to the hand!
Kaiba: Aaaaahh
Grandpa: I wet myself.
Pegasus Henchman: Mr. Pegasus, sir, it seems the reigning Duel Monsters champion has been defeated by someone named Yugi. Also, it's time for your sponge bath.
Pegasus: Mmmm...
Yugi (Master Shake from "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" Voice): Hey! Hey! Fun time! Goofing off martian style! Wakka! Wakka!