Transcription
Hello YouTube, and welcome back to my channel. I thought today was just going to be about organizing storage bins and going through the closet and moving Mav's things that we don't use anymore to a storage facility until baby number two, and it has brought up an absolute whirlwind of emotions in my heart that I was not expecting or prepared for in any capacity.
So, I was like, "You know what? I feel like this is a a good moment to lean into and to document and to just share because I know I'm not the only mom that feels these things when their kid hits new milestones." And so, um for context, I've been crying over things like this. Look how little, like being kidding me. Um it honestly scares me how fast time flies by. I don't think I had a concept of time before I had a kid, before I had Maverick. And now that I do, um it breaks my heart that I don't get to keep him this tiny forever. Um God. We're not even a minute into this and I'm already crying. My goodness. >> [snorts] >> Okay.
The other thing that absolutely destroyed me was um when I was going through stuff, I found this tiny little onesie >> [snorts] >> and this tiny little onesie. And this, for context, >> [snorts] >> is how big he is now. I think there's a piece of me that is starting to realize that I do still have some fear in my heart with wanting to have another baby that it's going to take heartbreak and trials again. And I know that's not the truth and I know that doesn't have to be the truth or the case because the blood of Jesus is over all of it. There is some stuff that is still in my heart that the Lord is working on. And I know that I'm not the only one that's walked this out. I think he's awake. Maverick. Come here. Oh, hey, bud. >> [laughter] >> Oh, mama needed that. Hi, sweetie. >> Oh, you are not. I see what you're doing. Is this what you've been doing? Are you crying over this? >> Yes. Mommy's crying over it. It makes me sad. Look at this. >> [laughter] >> He's so big now. Hi, honey. It makes me want to cry. >> It's pretty cute. It's okay. >> Mommy's going through stuff so we can take it to storage. >> It's okay, mama. >> [laughter] >> You were just a little potato tot and now you're not a potato tot anymore. Why am I so emotional? >> you some space. >> Okay. >> I'm just uh finishing up some work right now. >> Okay. I >> [snorts] >> have just been a little more emotional than I expected and I saw a quote the other day that said, "You can't wait to do it all over again, but you wish that you could do birth and the newborn phase all over again with your first because there's so much you would tell yourself that you didn't know." And that's kind of where my heart's at is like, "I'm not even the same mom, woman, wife that I used to be as I am today now in this season." And I'm grateful for that. I'm so thankful for that. But I am just like grieving how fast this season has gone by and also excited for what's to come because I do believe that we're going to have another little baby Nelson. Also, again, just like, "Lord, I know you've done it once, you can do it again." But this whole packing stuff up has just brought on a lot of emotions. I got super emotional yesterday packaging things up and I'll put a little clip here of that. Finding a little baby shoe that's the size of my thumb. Um, I think these are the moments that God uses to remind us to slow down, to remind us how precious these little fleeting seasons are. That trend that was going around a couple months ago about for moms that like can't remember the last time I held you was or I can't remember the last time, you know, whatever. I was looking at the bassinet and the baby rocker and I was like, I don't I don't remember the last time I put you in that. It's just gone. Just like that. And it's so fleeting. It just breaks my heart that this season, cuz this is like the sweetest season with him right now even as a toddler and his personality and his little voice and running around everywhere. >> [snorts] >> It just breaks my heart that this isn't forever and that he's growing up more every day. And it's just very humbling and it just makes you so grateful for every single day of life that you get. Every day is a blessing, even the hard ones.
I ran out of memory like I do in every video. Also, how cute this little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle robe. Are you kidding me? That I got for Maverick [clears throat] at a thrift store. This was emotional. I'm really sorry, but I'm not because I know every mom feels this way and I don't usually get like this, but man, this shoe wrecked me. Thank y'all so much for being here. I hope this makes one mama out there feel a little less alone for the emotional roller coaster that we call motherhood. I love y'all and I'll see y'all in the next video. Bye.