Transcription
You're in conversations, and sometimes you don't even know what to say. You feel yourself shrinking and mentally reaching for literally anything remotely interesting to say, but your mind is always blank and empty. And while everyone seems to have a story, an opinion, or even a moment worth sharing, you're just here sitting, listening, and wondering if you'll ever have something important to contribute.
But I know if you clicked into this video, you want to learn how to become that person that people lean into. Someone who can hold a room, someone who can hold a moment effortlessly. Not too long ago, I was very similar to you, where I felt like I didn't have anything interesting to contribute. And I even wondered to myself, am I just not meant to be interesting?
And whether you're an interesting person or not, it really deeply intertwines with your childhood upbringing. And I know that if you were born in a place like New York, where authenticity, where communities could be so easily found, then naturally you're going to feel like you have something important to contribute to a certain community. For myself, I grew up in a town where people didn't really honor different opinions and different lifestyles. So, it was really hard for me to seek out the communities and seek out the people that genuinely were interested in the same things as me. And because you grew up with people who didn't get your passions, you felt this need to conform, to change yourself, to be accepted because that felt safe.
But now, now that you're in your adult years, it is time to make that shift. It is time for you to bring out your interesting side and help you attract the kinds of people that will love you for you. Hi, my name is Jasm, and on this channel, we talk all about becoming the woman of your dreams and building a life that you absolutely love. And in this video, I'm going to be taking you through a four-step plan to help you create a more interesting life and to build a more interesting persona. And I'm not talking about completely changing your personality to fit into someone else's mold. But instead, we're going to be learning how to tap fully into your most aligned self.
Whether you want to have better conversations and dates, or to have really good interviews and have your interviewer be interested in you, or simply just adding more color into your life. This is your invitation to completely expand this part of you. I've also included chapters for this video so you can skip around. You can also find these timestamps in the description below. And if you're someone who's ready to do the real work, not just watching these videos, but actually transforming, I provide worksheets for every single one of my videos. In these worksheets, you'll find in-depth journaling prompts as well as practical exercises to help you start releasing your limiting beliefs and write out an action plan so you can start living as your highest self immediately. The link to access these worksheets is in the description below. Now, let's explore what it means to really be an interesting person. Let's dive in.
In phase one, we're going to be talking about finding your niche. Being an interesting person isn't about trying to fit inside a mold. In fact, the more that you try to fit into a mold, the more that you will actually propel people away from you. Now, what do I mean by that? When you are trying to fit into a mold, you're essentially telling your subconscious mind that being yourself is not safe, that being yourself is not okay. So, the more that you reject yourself by becoming someone you're not, you end up betraying yourself, and it will backfire like an elastic band. The more that you stretch outside and away from your true self, the more that when you snap that elastic band back, it's going to hit you right in the face.
For example, climbing Mount Everest is something that is very cool. But not everyone is going to be intrigued in that story, especially if people aren't into mountaineering or if people aren't into adventures. What if some people are more interested in how the world works? What if people are more interested in science? What if people are more interested in literature? What if people are more interested in cultures? And do you see how when you only limit yourself to one personality of that interesting person, you really limit yourself to who you can be? The rule of thumb here is that you do not want to be interesting for others. You want to be the most interesting version of yourself for you. You just need to boldly and unapologetically claim it.
Why is it that the people who don't care about people's opinions and the ones that are just living their own value-driven life, those are usually the people that have crowds surrounding them? And it is because when you're focused on your own path and living in alignment based on your values, you become instantly more attractive. And I know that if you've lived a very boring life your whole life or you've never really taken risks or you've really been following what everyone else is doing or what everyone else is telling you to do, how to live your life, it must be really scary to look within you and say, "What if there's more within me that I haven't explored yet?" This question is so much more empowering than thinking that you're a boring person. What if you just haven't given yourself the opportunity to seek out what you truly enjoy? What truly lights you up? And the beauty of life is that sometimes you don't know what that is. Don't be limited to trends or what people are currently thinking is cool. Use this opportunity to explore all the different aspects that you've always wanted to explore within yourself, like hobbies, interests, businesses.
It is really scary to live differently. And if you've always felt like you were very different from the people around you, you probably watch a lot of TikToks or YouTube videos about people living bold, different lives or even sharing something that is so unpopular on the internet. And those are actions of courage. And when you are more courageous around your niche, around your specific point of view, about your opinions, you will naturally attract a group of people that also agree with this school of thought. And a really powerful mindset shift when you're on this journey of becoming a more interesting person is that you cannot allow yourself to keep watching these TikToks, keep watching these YouTube videos, and watching people live bigger lives and feeling like when you're on the opposite side of the screen, you're like, "I could never have that." We can't keep watching from the sidelines and watching other people achieve their goals, going on all of these adventures. And sometimes you really got to take a step back and start seeing how could I actualize this, because you have so much more power than you think to change your life.
It is really scary to pick that niche. It is really scary to be different, especially if you have been picked on, bullied for being different. But what is the alternative? To stay in a mediocre life where you're not even satisfied? To keep watching other people live out their dreams while you're still here in your hometown and not taking action towards the things that really matter to you? Or being scared that people are going to judge you? Are you really going to live according to the rules of other people's lives that are also limited in their own ways? Becoming interesting is about being brave enough to go for what you want, to be brave enough to be completely different. Interesting people don't care about haters. They don't care about people who don't agree with their values, who don't agree with their opinions. They just don't have space for that because they're living such bigger lives. So, it is time to step out of it. It is time to really tune into yourself and tell yourself that you deserve to be happy, that you deserve to live a bigger life, and you deserve to have an interesting life.
Now, for phase two, we're going to be talking all about building identity capital. So, how do you build identity capital? It's important for everyone to have five big things that they can talk about. And these are usually topics that spark curiosity, conversation, and just overall deeper connection. In your 20s, or whatever age you're at right now, aim to do five big, lasting things that your first dates, that your interviewers would want to ask you for the rest of your life. Identity capital is the value that you give through your own life experiences. It gives you richness, perspective, and stories that you can contribute to.
So, one of my favorite ways to do this is the "one big, 10 small adventure" rule. Every year, plan one big adventure and 10 small adventures. So, big adventures are things that push you outside of your comfort zone that builds your identity. A big adventure could be embarking on a solo backpacking trip around Europe, or it could be running a marathon, or it could be undertaking your own personal project, or building your own business, or even starting a YouTube channel. These big adventures often require substantial planning and really deep courage on your end. And when you have more of these big adventures, you will develop more as a person. You will be more confident, as well as having more compelling stories to share with others.
Now, what is a small adventure? And I recommend having and planning 10 small adventures every single year. Now, small adventures could be going to a nearby town and exploring what that town has to offer. It could be going to a salsa class and trying a new skill. It could also be exploring a new hiking trail that you've always wanted to do but never had the time to. These are often more accessible experiences that are not too far out of our day-to-day routine, but also add more excitement and flare and fun in your day-to-day life. Adding these small adventures adds more life, adds more color to our world. When you purposely seek out more adventurous opportunities and live a more adventurous life, you will naturally have more stories, new perspectives to share. You will have more to say, more confidence, and more things to really reflect on.
If you're feeling stuck or you've never really explored this adventurous side of you, keep it gradual. Don't fall into the deep end immediately. Instead, just do what is a little bit outside of your comfort zone because if you're not used to it, then it's only going to overwhelm you. This is an opportunity to build out and to fill up your treasure chest full of experiences. If you don't have your own treasure chest full of life experiences, it's really hard to bring in new perspectives. It's really hard to come up with new conversation stories when you haven't experienced that much.
Now, phase three, we're going to be talking about the art of conversation. Interesting people are not just storytellers. They're actually incredible conversationalists. They're usually charming, charismatic. People want to get to know them because of how they make them feel. There's a certain type of magnetism to somebody when they're charismatic, when they're warm, and when they're present in a conversation, even if whatever they say isn't incredibly groundbreaking. In one of my videos, "A Shy Introvert's Guide to Feminine Charisma," I talk a lot about how charisma is a reflection of warmth and competence, that you want to be this welcoming and warm presence, but you also want to be seen as someone intellectual, someone who is capable, someone who is competent.
Sure, you could have a list of incredible life stories and things that you've done throughout your whole life, but if you are on the receiving end and you're just hearing this person blab about themselves, blab about their life, blab about how amazing their life is, how important they are, and all the things they've done, I don't think that other person is going to feel that they're getting anything out of the conversation because they're not contributing. And how are they making that person feel? Probably very ignored, disrespected, and we don't want to be that person either. Being the interesting person that you want to be is not about dominating the conversation and just making it about you. People will naturally tune out and people won't really care what you have to say, no matter how interesting your life is.
Conversation is an art, and how you can be interesting is to be interested. Curiosity is one of the most underrated superpowers when it comes to having great conversations. When you approach someone with genuine interest, genuinely want to know about their life, know about themselves, know about the depth of a person, it makes people feel seen and it also makes people feel incredibly safe in your presence. We are currently living in a world where everyone feels invisible in some way. And the fact that if you are bringing into a conversation really high-quality questions like, "What truly motivated you to move to this city?" "How has your job been fulfilling you?" And asking very powerful questions to help people really provoke and to help people really get to that depth so you can create a deeper connection is really powerful and very rare in this day and age.
Being curious also broadens your own mental horizons. When I traveled around the world for two years, I met so many amazing and beautiful people from all walks of life. And I mentally collect every single story that I've heard from those conversations and it allows me to share other people's life stories to other people to really inspire them to live a different life. And when you are so exposed to so many people with different life paths, it will naturally enable you to grow that compelling story bank. When you are also collecting other people's stories, perspectives, schools of thought, you will naturally become more dynamic as a person because you realize that the world is so big, that there are so many different stories that also add to being that interesting person that you want to be.
To be an interesting person, the last thing you want to do is to dominate the conversation. Start seeing yourself as an onion. When you hang out with somebody for the first time, allow them to see a layer of you. The next time you see them, allow them to see another layer. So, allowing people to really unlayer you as they hang out with you, because they will think, "Oh my gosh, I am always learning something new about this person. I'm always learning something new about myself and the world when I'm speaking to this person. They're so interesting." And interesting is also about providing that little mystique. You're not trying to overshare your life all the time. Instead, use this as an opportunity to see yourself as an onion, to see yourself as a multi-dimensional being. And how you can maintain that mystique, going back to the curiosity point, is to be curious in others, to really show interest in other people, and allowing them to speak as well. A beautiful conversation is when both parties are showing deep interest in each other. And when you ask these deep questions with other people, they will naturally ask the same question back to you, and they'll also get to know more of your layers. So be open to sharing and asking deeper questions.
And the very last phase, and I would say that this phase is the most important, is to express yourself boldly. Find some sort of creative outlet. Find some platform to really express the colors that you have created through your life experiences. With the internet now, we are not only limited to the town that we live in or the city that we live in, but with the internet, we can find our unique communities online. You have literally the entire world to find your community. I am speaking from personal experience here because I surprisingly have always been a little bit insecure about wanting to be the best version of myself, reading self-development books and talking in front of a camera like this. And I know that if you have blocks around starting a YouTube channel, I know that you feel this too. "What if people don't resonate with what I have to say? And I'm just putting myself out there and I'm making cringe content." But what I have found through this experience was that I have been meeting so many amazing people because of this channel. Not only real-life friendships, but I've also been sparking new conversations with new subscribers. And just feeling and hearing all of these beautiful comments from you guys about how much value you're getting out of these videos really inspires me to continually want to make more.
I have personally found that when you are courageous and when you put yourself out there, whether it's a piece of your mind, a piece of your creativity, a piece of your work, you are bringing like-minded people to you. And when you do that, you actually give yourself greater permission to shine and you actually feel more validated to have this niche interest, to have this niche personality. The whole theme of this very last phase is to show people who you are through expressing yourself boldly. Finding an outlet to share your brain, to share your perspectives, to share your stories, to share your art. When you express yourself, you are essentially forming a bridge to the rest of the world and allowing the rest of the world to engage with you.
Some ways to do this: start a Substack account. Start writing blog posts and sharing the world your perspectives around certain topics that you're passionate about. Start an Instagram account where you share all of your adventures, your vlogs, your day-to-day, and allowing people to really get a glimpse of what your life is like. For me, my creative outlet is YouTube. Sharing topics like self-development, becoming the best version of yourself. This personally brings me so much joy and allows me to connect with the rest of the world, to connect with women that are also just as passionate as I am.
Now, you are not only limited to the internet. Use this opportunity to start seeking out how you can creatively express yourself in your physical life. For example, the kind of clothes that you wear. Do you want to add more color? Do you want to add more flare to expressing yourself through clothing? What about your space, your room, your apartment, your house? These are all really helpful ways to become a more interesting person that it's important to add color, to add your unique personality in the space that you live in. You'll also be surprised to find that when you are dressing more boldly, you naturally spark more conversation and people will come up to you and want to get to know you and talk to you.
The main message here is that if you are brave enough to share who you are, no matter how different, how unique you are, you will attract the very people that will find you interesting. And often times, you will find them interesting as well. So, we've reached the end of this video. If you don't take anything out of this video, I just want you to remember one thing. You don't need to climb Mount Everest. You don't have to do crazy things to be an interesting person. You just need to be interested in your own life, to follow what lights you up, what sparks joy, and to live in alignment with what you truly desire. Because the more that you start living your life like a true main character, the more that you will naturally have things to talk about and share with other people, the more curious you become in yourself, in others, the more that people will lean into that and want to get to know you more. And when you start accepting your weirdness, your quirkiness, all the weird things that you love so much, you will naturally become so much more magnetic.
Now, if you're ready to take this even further, I highly recommend checking out my video, "A Shy Introvert's Guide to Feminine Charisma." In that video, I break down how to melt the wall between you and the person that you want to connect with, and also being able to light up a room by simply existing, by simply being you. If you enjoyed this video or if you got value out of this video, please give it a like because if you like this video, the algorithm puts this video to more faces on the internet. And if you are also on the journey to becoming the woman of your dreams, and building a life that you love, consider subscribing because I have so much content around self-development, mindset, money, relationships, literally all things about being the best version of yourself. I love and appreciate you so much. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I'll see you next week.
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