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He may have been suppressing that. That may also be the source of some of her pain.
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What do you do when you love your wife so much and she's always unhappy? Why would she be unhappy? Why? You tell me. Give her him.
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Did you remember nickname as a child? Kiss. When you think about Qez, what do you think? What do I need that? So cats, I'd like to speak to kids for a moment now. Can that other woman stood up and started crying immediately over nothing? And you know it's over nothing. I want to speak to kids, not the other part. I'll come to the other part, don't worry. I'll come visit her. So, am I speaking to cats? Good. That's what I want to stay with for right now. I'm asking the part of you that feels happy for no good reason, the one that's not been running the show for a long time. But she used to. Am I right? What stage of life did you run the show, cast? About - 1999-2000. I ran the show. Okay, good. Give her that. Laughing. Hear that laugh. How old was she at that age? Guess how old were you at that stage? 30. I guess. How old are you really? You, kids, not her. You. You're a certain age. Tell me what age you are. Just tell me what age you really are. In you, you, the stage of life, the age of life that you are. 25. That's right. How alive do you feel, kids? I'm just talking to Kaz. Cats, how alive do you feel? Calves. Good. Very happy. So, 25 and calves, you were in the show till 2000. How old did she get? It, mm. You got a 55. That's what she became emotionally. An old was she physiologically at 20? 26. Was it okay? But she became 55. This 50 or five-year-old who took over in the year 2000. What's her name? Give me a name for her. Agnes. Agnes. Good. I thought so. So, there's Kaz, and then there's Agnes, who took over at 55. Now, tell me something. Why did? Well, first of all, can you tell me one thing? What's your job? To give. And what do we? We're gonna call this, this energy that is you, all these parts together. Who is that woman? Give me that woman's name. The name you would call her. The spirit or soul. Selena. Selena. Hmm. And is that a given name or a name that you just know is the essence of the soul? When you think of Selena, what do you know? Selena is what? Tell me who she is. She's strong. She's strong. She's positive. She's positive. She knows the direction. She knows her direction. She's fun and happy. She's fun and happy. Um, have you met Selena? When you guys first met, was who are you dating when you first met? Was it Qasr, Selena, or Agnes? I would say there's a combination of Tears and Selena. Yeah, that's I thought. Thank you. So, so Selena is your soul. Oh, it's just fiery as well. Good. I almost left that went out. So, she's fiery, and she's fun, and she's happy. She's strong, positive. Okay. So, now I want you to notice something. That Selena has a blueprint that will always make life great. Every man and woman, pay attention right now. Every man and woman in this room, this is going to be your lesson. The quality of your relationship is the quality of your state moment-to-moment. You can change that moment to moment. Long term, it's being controlled by your blueprint. The blueprint is the beliefs, values, and rules you have. But here's the challenge, ladies and gentlemen. There's an illusion that you have one blueprint. Actually, you have multiple personalities. And if you have a woman, you have many multiple sets of personalities. And you met one or two of them, or three or four of them, and you combine them into one thought. And then some of you keep selecting and connecting with another part of them without realizing it. Then you go, "What happened? They changed." They didn't change. You're just connecting with a different part of them. Or something did change in the life condition. Something changed. And so, as a result, this person had a different part of them start to take over. If they're happy, that part is a more developed part. If they're unhappy, it's the more immature part or an older part. And did you ever notice that when some people get older, they get less mature? Is it true? They get more cranky. They also like when when a child is born, if they don't get what they want, how did Sheldon respond? People say children are so loving, our babies so loving. Really? No. If they don't get what they want, what do they do? They cry, they scream, they're grimacing, ugly looks on their face. They'll spit on you. Is it true? They'll smack you. Will they smack you? They don't get what they want. They'll do whatever it takes to get what they want. And they don't give a damn about anybody but whom? Themselves. But as we mature, there gets a point you don't get rewarded for that behavior, and you have to adapt. And some people adapt into pleasing, and some people adapt into achieving, and some people adapt into, and some people adapt to having the philosophers understanding, and some people adapt into being funny, and some people adapt into creating problems, and some people adapt into having problems. But eventually, what some people do is they get older and older, they don't get wiser. There's a stage in which they get more and more cranky, and more and more and more and more rules, and more and more expectations. See, what makes you absolutely mature is too many expectations. The more blueprint expectations you have, the more rules you have, the more unhappy you're gonna be. It doesn't matter who you are. And as people get older, very often they expect that this new stage should be easier than the last stage. When life doesn't really give something, whether you think it's easier or not, life doesn't give something. Whether you're happy, that's your job. Life gives something. Only one thing: you grow, and you give something out of that growth. Could you grow? Or you? What? That in my Rosalie rules a universe. Everything universe grows or dies. And you contribute, or you're eventually what? Eliminated. Evolution will do that if nothing else. If you're no longer contributing in a significant scale to something larger than yourself, even larger than your species, you're out of here. So, we have this delusion that says, "As this time goes by, we've earned the right to have people just do things for a service." Or we've been in a relationship so long that our expectations have changed. We shouldn't have to attract them anymore. We don't have to innovate anymore. We don't have to market what we have to keep finding new ways to meet their needs. I'm meeting their needs. If you meet the same needs of a customer over and over at the same way, after a while, just out of variety, they look for somebody else who's gonna meet their needs. And if you don't market, you could be meeting their needs, but if you don't market, if you don't, what is marketing? It makes know someone want to seek you out. Marketing attracts them to you. If you don't innovate, market, you're not gonna have a raving fan. But if you look at older, they get more and more expectations, and they get harder, the harder to be with. And then they go, "Oh, I'm just set in my ways." Or, "You know what? No one can handle me." You can't even handle you. The only time you're happy is when you do something you can come roll that makes you significant. Certainty of significance tend to rule someone at that stage of life in one or the other. Significance first, certainty second. And underneath that, then they get those two are met, they could have loved, a safe loved, a certain love, love of children, love of some friends, love with some colleagues. But you're just gutless because what you've been is reinforced all along the way. And now, here at this place, we have these expectations. Your blueprint. You're miserable. So, a different part of you joining show. You can talk to somebody who's 75 years old and set in their ways. They've got a Salinas somewhere inside. And if they tap into it, the game changes that fast. They also have a calves. So, remember I said the first day we put that circle, we said, "Here's, here is all of relationship starts with a triangle base." No, what you want, what you need, what you want, and what you don't want. And be crystal clear about the kind of person you gotta be to attract that. Never that. Second, once you find and select somebody, know what does they want, need, their desires, their fears, everything about them, their blueprint. And then get addicted to meeting their needs. Whether that fills you up, it's no longer what am I getting? What makes children live is because we get addicted to meeting their needs without any appreciation whatsoever. Google granted a little drool because your blueprint for a child is we're supposed to be the givers, and any little reception that we get is a victory. If you kept that blueprint for your intimate relationship, it'll be the most amazing thing on earth because it would all be about you growing and you serving them. Negro, I'm gonna serve you. Makes sense? So, it works. So, here we have this woman, Selena. Hi, Selena. You've been hibernating, I understand. Very much. And tell me something, Felina. What is the purpose of this woman, of this soul that you are? What's she here to just be and do and give? Do you think? Just your first reaction, Selina. Oh, to create desire. To create desire. Oh, let's have a hand for that, ladies and gentlemen. Holy. Create desire. And what are you? What happens when you create desire, Selina? Passion. Passion. So, your job is to create desire, which leads the passion. And when there's passion inside of you and those you love, what's life like? Oh, just phenomenal. Yeah. Now, tell me something. You like as, tell me a little bit about cats from your perspective. Slater, she's a fun girl. Yep. Little tease. Oh, good. Fun. She's a tease. Hmm. So, does she help you with this attraction, this energy, this creating, this desire? Well, good. And can she lead the passion? Yes. Is she like also, you can pull some of that in? Great. Tell me about Agnes. She's very boring. Boring. Okay. What else can you tell me about Agnes besides the fact she's boring? She's very subdued and inward. Subdued, inward. She's tiring. She's tiring. Yeah. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'll tell you what, every part has a purpose and has an intent. And so, I'm just wondering, would you give me permission to have some direct conversations with Agnes? I've already at with caz. I know she's open. I know you are too. But would you give me permission to talk with her? Because I might just have a direct, honest conversation there. Because I know she's tired, and she's tired. There's a reason. But I want to help her. Because we help Agnes, you, you know, and cos, and the rest of the sisterhood that's all inside. You could all have a much better time. And if you had a better time, your radiance would touch everyone. Your man, your life, the world. Is that what you're here for? It's sir. Looks like if what you told me so. Can I talk to Agnes? Okay. All right. I know she's a little scared. Will you, before I talk to her, you go visit her for a second? Let her know that I'm not gonna hurt her. Let her know that it's safe. Let me know when she, and she lets you know that it's okay for me to talk to her. Let her know you'll be right beside. Is there's enough to trust me? You'll protect her too. But if search your soul and see whether you need to protect yourself from me or not. Okay. I'll let her know that. So, she knows this is scary for her. That's what this is really all about. That's what. Can I talk to her now? Yeah. So, would you just step, just a little bit over here? That's fine. I mean, just to get out of, get out of Salina and step into Agnes. Am I speaking to Agnes now? Yes. And Agnes, I understand you took over in 2099. Mm-hmm. Running the show ever since. Yeah. Selina themes that you're tired. Yes. Very, very tired. Yeah. Why are you tired? Can you tell me? Just overwhelmed. I think with just such thing. Always sad all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And you've been sad for a very long time, too. Yeah. I'm lonely. And lonely. So, you felt sad, I even feel lonely, and you're feeling tired now. You've got a sister over there named Kaz. Mm-hmm. Tell me about her. She's fun. You miss her. She used to do what for you, Agnes? What she used to do for you? She used to make me free. I used to feel like I could do anything and be anything. I didn't have any fear when I was give her head.
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By the way, who just answered me? Yes. I know. So, Kaz, I appreciate you jumping in. I think that's a good thing in life. I need to talk to Agnes again. Okay. So, bring back Agnes, just for the moment here. So, I want, I want Agnes to be taken care of. And the only reason she's sad and lonely and tired is because she has a purpose, and she may have lost track of whether it's working or not. So, Agnes, tell me, what do you do to Selena, to the unified soul here? What do you do? What's your job? Well, you've been what? Sitting down. You've been kicking her down. Yeah. Now, you know, you couldn't kick down Selina, but you might have kicked Carrie down. Is that true? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So, you've been kicking Carrie down. Cuz Selena wouldn't put up with it. Okay. Would she? Yeah. All right. So, tell me, why have you been kicking Carrie down? What's been your intent? Because I know there's a positive intent behind behavior that even looks, you know, harsh or mean. I know you're not harsh or mean. What have you, why have you been kicking Carrie down? What has been your purpose? What we made for you, Agnes? Just Agnes. Stay Agnes for me. I think I was, as Agnes, I was made for some sort of balance. That's right. Give her a hand for that. That's fantastic.
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And what were you trying to balance? I was trying to balance crazy and wild to being. Oh, that's what you made the mistake. Look at that. Normal is qez. Normal? No. No. It's the lean of normal. No, no. So, this soul is not Lord. It's Carrie. Normal. You know, but you've been trying to make Carrie normal. Well, I think people want me to be you or Carrie. Well, I, I think Agnes has been making Carrie into what she thinks people want her to be. Also, Carrie thinks she needs to be normal. Is that the part, or is it you, Agnes? Which part thinks she should be normal? Just so I'm clear. I think Agnes thinks that Carrie shipping oil. That's right. So, let me stay with Agnes, cuz I just want you. Switch. You just switch back and forth. Who don't you speaking to a moment ago? Was that Carrie? Just a second ago. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that. So, guys, now you know why your your hands are full. Okay. I was like, okay, I'm talking to Carrie a moment here, then I'm talking to Agnes. Qez pops in every now and then. Selena's out here hanging out. So, Carrie thinks she needs to be normal. No, it's Agnes that thinks Carrie needs to be normal. Yeah. Carrie popped in to give me a little feedback. So, I'm gonna stay with Agnes for a moment. She's the one that deserves some support right now. Because actually, almost all the sadness inside has become because one part has been running the show. And this idea that where one personality is culturally conditioned so that human beings can have certainty. So, woman meets a man, and he treats her really nice, and he's a nice guy. She meets a man who's really mean, and he's a jerk. But she never bothers to see, does he treat all women that way? She assumes he does and looks for ways. And we'll see that he treats the open him that way. But if you watch closely, he doesn't. The guy that's a jerk is a total love for a different type of woman because she connects, she selects, and connects a different part of him. Anytime two people evil meet, a third world is formed unlike any other world that exists. I'm taking put you with somebody else, you'll be a different person because you'll call out different parts. When you first meet somebody, you meet one or two of these personalities, and you go, "That's that person." And they got all these other parts of them that show up later in different life conditions or a different stage of life. And they all have a really good purpose. But because they're not being reinforced to acknowledge, you don't understand it. Listen, when the chop doesn't get attention for doing something good, someone tell me what that child will do. Something bad. Aren't adults just big children emotionally? Most of us under stress. The minute the tension comes in, tell me what age starts to run the show. What age of mind? It's two million years old, but it's a child. It's a survival. Give me what I want, or I what? Take it. Yell, scream, cry, try to hurt you. You know what children do, right? So, Agnes here just needs some understanding. So, Agnes, you felt she needed balance. And and that you started thinking that around 1999-2000. Yeah. Okay. And what happened in '99, 2000 made you think, "Holy cow, I better step in here and get qez and Selena balanced"? By the way, who's the wild one in her? What's her name? Cuz I haven't met her yet. I mean, the really, you know, look at him, look at his whole state changes. He's wiggling around in his chair. Who's the wild one? What do we call her? Chrissy. Chrissy. Chrissy. Agnes told me about Chrissy. You know, not cuz I seek answers like Kansas like Chrissy's out. She's gonna come out. I can feel it. We're gonna be able to play again. Please like. Yeah. Chrissy. You can hear that. Chrissy. Chrissy. Chrissy. You can hear it all going on in the background on it. Agnes is freaking out. Don't let Chrissy up. Am I right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, Agnes, you tell me your perspective on Chrissy first, cuz I want to hear your perspective. Chrissy, she's a little what? Come on, just that. I know it's okay. We're amongst family. She's a what? That's right. She's a little. I knew we'd find her. A little Chrissy. That's right. Look at his face. Look at. I haven't seen that being a smile on his face the entire week. Look at that. Look at that. Give me a hand, ladies and gentlemen.
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Do you know Chrissy? Have you two met? Very, very, very early on. Yes. Oh, interesting. Now we're getting underneath this, aren't we? He saw kids when cousin Chrissy were together from a distance, and then you brought caslen Selena together when he showed up. Yeah. So, this little Chrissy, tell me about this little.
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Submit a report. Things that make you her girl, like what? Does things that make your hair curl? Yeah. Mm-hmm. She's definitely very, very uh non, you know, she's free. She's uninhibited. Wow. And you want to keep her in check, Agnes, is that right? Yes. Yes. She's a pretty powerful woman, Chrissy. Mm-hmm. How much energy does she have? Oh, she has tons of energy. Yeah. Um, is she a force of nature to be reckoned? Okay. A force of nature to be reckoned with. Okay. And so, what happened in 1999 or 2000 that made you think you better step in and take, take over the show here? I moved to a new country. You move to what? A new country. A new country. And Chrissy stayed in the old country. What new country did you move to? The United States from England. Yeah, because after all, England is where all the Chrissy's are, not America. You think England and you think little slots everywhere. So, you came to USA. And so, what happened when you came to USA? Was it coming to the country that made you take over and want to make sure Chrissie was in check? What was it that made you want to put Christine to check? I wanted to be accepted by who? By people that I met. I didn't want them. Was it you that wanted to accept it, or Carrie? Did and you decided this was the way to do it? Yeah. No, I think that's, yeah, it was Carrie that wants to be accepted. Okay. Carrie, except. Just do we have any more pens? Carrie, one accepted. Carrie accepted. And so, and did she feel accepted when she came to America? By who? Was she not feeling accepted? Watch. By who? Myself. And not feeling accepted by yourself? Which self was that? Carrie. Selena has also. Caz wasn't. Oh, interesting. So, Caz was not accepting Carrie. You off all that? That's crazy. So, Caz wasn't accepting Carrie when Carrie moved to the USA. What I think, I think I thought I had to be a certain way. What way is what way did Carrie think she had to be? Responsible. Hmm. Okay, now we're getting. Everyone listen carefully because this is a common pattern. And why did you have to be responsible? But before you tell me, let me tell you about somebody I met. I was doing a date with destiny. You've been a date with destiny. Yeah. The other part would do people's values on the stage. You know, I asked for somebody who's suicidal. And right before I went out to ask, we doing a stretch break, and somebody rushed up to me and said, "Read this. You've got to call on this person." And I read the person, and it was the person's buddy. And by accident, they had switched each other's notebooks. And in the notebook was this man's plan to kill himself and kill his children. Yeah. Detailed. So, I went, "Okay, I know I'm calling on names, Bob." But the man who came up to me said, "He's my buddy." And then the man started back in the crowd because he didn't want Bob to see that he showed me the plan to kill himself and girls' children. And so, I didn't know where he was in the room, and I couldn't find the guy. You know, couple thousand people. And you know, it's time to start. So, I said, "Okay, oh, he'll come out." So, I said, as I always do, "Who here is suicidal? I love suicides. Right. They're my favorites. Come on. Who's suicidal?" Right. And people stood up, and I went around the room, and as I asked what their name was, I looked for the men in the room. No Bob. You know, I went to a dozen people. No Bob. So far, they went too far. The room. I helped several people, as I always do. And then I went from the room and said, "Bob, where are you?" Which Bob? You know, which Bob? Bob, there's a bomb in this room. Was going to kill himself. He's not standing. Huh. If finally, this man stands up about 20 rows back. And I'm picturing the kind of man that would kill his own children. So, you make that picture in your mind. And up stands this guy with kind of a roly-poly figure, a beard, you know, eyes not twinkling because there's no happiness. But it looked like a sad Santa. I said, "Bob." He said, "Yeah." I said, "Bob, I said, I asked for every suicide. Oh, you're suicidal, aren't you?" Yeah. I said, "In fact, you're not just yourself. Yourself. You're gonna kill your children." And the whole, as is a true. There's a long pause. Every turn looks right, staring at him. Right. He says, "Yeah." And everybody's kind of freaking out a little bit. But you look in this man, and you could see there's a sadness in him. So, we all assumed that someone's behaving in a certain way, it's because they're angry or they're crazy. But in that moment, I got he wanted to end this life and his children's life, not because he didn't love his children, because he did love his children.
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Notice the difference you make. That you think you don't make. You were so wrong. Look at her face. Look at that. A moment ago, she was talking about killing herself. Now she's smiling. Look at city life. It's all good. She was gonna kill herself a moment ago. Now she's happy. What's happened here? But look at the difference you make. Am I exaggerating? No. You might say, "Huge difference." Yes. When you're going to learned helplessness, when you start thinking, "This cannot change. I cannot change it. I am helpless." Because three Ps pop in your head: This problem is permanent. When you believe that, you've just destroyed your capacity to make a difference. No problem is permanent. Only your soul's permanent. No problem is permanent. Only your soul is permanent. The second P that makes you feel helpless is you think it's personal. You think there's something wrong with you. Ladies, you do this faster than anyone. "Well, if I was different, if I was, if, if I was that, then he wouldn't be this way." No, he's not a hairy woman. He's always going to be this way. Is it that you're not loving? It isn't he isn't not speaking to you in depth because you're not attractive enough, strong enough? He doesn't trust you, or he doesn't love you? It's because he doesn't speak. Because he's a guy, and those short bursts you get at times are using up all the words he has.
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It's not that she's not smart, or crazy, or doesn't want things fixed. It's that she doesn't want things fixed because she's a girl, not a beautiful, multitasking, slash, emotional man. A third one is, you think it's pervasive. You think that this problem affects your whole life because your finances are destroyed, your whole life is over. Guess what? It's not. There's a spirit, there's a soul, there's a body, there's family, there's friends, there's a new season ahead. This is only one area of life. When you start thinking one area affects every area, you will be in learned helplessness. You will be in suffering.
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Your relationship isn't working out. It's not what you wanted to be. And therefore, nothing in your life matters. It's not true. You can break through when you stop thinking it's permanent, personal, and pervasive. And the best way to do that is the secret to it all. Change your frikken. But it's got to be a radical change. There's got to be consistent change. You need a new ritual to do it. Physically, emotionally, it's working out, it's martial arts, it's dance, play, it's something. And it's something right now. So, there was Bob standing before me with his little potbelly and his gray little grain beard, couldn't want a Santa suit, going to kill his kids and himself. I said, "Bob, kill your own kids." And he said to me, "I don't want to."
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That's good. Then why would you plan to? They talked about how when he was a boy, his father left, and it destroyed him. And he knew that he couldn't stay. So, he didn't want them to be damaged and think that he didn't love them because he knew that would destroy them for life. But he couldn't stay. So, he's gonna take them too, and make it painless so they wouldn't live it at the scarred life. That was when his blueprints. It was the way to love his children. There you go. This man's psychotic and horrible. But they dug underneath it all. And I did the next hour. I did his values and rules. We have it on film. It's quite amazing. And he looked at all his values and rules. And when you began to see was this game was unwinnable. And the blueprints he was running. Your relationship is in position. It is because of your state. Just the conditioning you've done to yourself. And it's there because of your blueprint. And some of you have a blueprint that must change. If you don't change your blueprint, they'll change partners, and you'll end up with the same problem again. Doesn't matter. And then you'll have the next problem. It'll take a little while because the very beginning, you'll have the rush of all the chemistry that happens to those first three to nine months. And then you'll be running the same problems again. Who's done this more than once in your lifetime? Who's one left one relationship, ended up another, pretty soon had the same problem? Raise your hands. Say, "Aye." That's because you didn't change your states, and you didn't change your blueprints. This is the whole game. Which, by the way, what does this all lead up to? State and blueprint are the things that shape meaning. And all of your pain is based on the meaning. All the suffering is in the meaning. Remember not a Garre phrase: The suffering is not in the facts, it's in your perception of the facts. Remember Liz weak, your mother did die. That is not why you're suffering. You're suffering because your perception is the fact that she died. Your suffering is not the facts, it's the perception of the facts. The meaning. The meaning you gave it. As it shouldn't have happened. She shouldn't gone so soon. Or I've lost her. The meaning is what's messing you up. And the meaning is coming from your state and your blueprint. Change your state, change your blueprint, you change the meaning of your relationship. Your relationship transforms you from a different meaning. And a different emotion will treat your partner differently. And that will bring out different personalities in that partner. How many file say, "Aye"? And if you're coming from an empowering state, you will find the empowered parts of them coming out. If you come from a place that's accusatory, then the one place where they need to be safe, the one person they want to open up to, the one person that makes them feel at one time like they were more than what, more than what enough, the one person who healed them, to made them feel they were totally loved, that they were enough, and they were healed. Now, that very person, when they wouldn't protect from, they have to protect from. And then they do. When you go, "See, with Bob, I did all these pieces." And guess what came out underneath this piece? Bob used to ride a Harley. Bob, big belly Bob, broken-down Bob, used to ride a Harley. And he used to take his wife, before she was his wife, and he take her silly in a bar, across the pool table. This was Bob. People's eyes are this big. That's Bob. Go, Bob. I was like one of those male and handsome commercials, doesn't it? Bob. This little Bob. They have this light and dark relationship. And she loved it. She loved him taking her. He loved to take her. And then something happened around 1999 or 2000. Agnes took over Bob because AG decided Bob needed to be more responsible because Bob was now married. They got married because they had a kid on the way. And as soon as he had a kid on the way, Bob knew a different set of personalities had to be there because he had to be responsible. So, a responsible person doesn't drive a Harley. Plus, his wife made it very clear with children coming, she wasn't gonna allow him to drive a Harley. Now, whenever I've heard a woman say, "I'm not gonna allow my husband to do anything," I think for myself first. What person is going to allow this woman to tell him what he can and cannot do here with him? So, they could talk about it and decide together. But be told, "That used to be my judgment." But now I worrying to realize I did the same thing in other areas in my previous relationship. They just weren't as obvious. I was willing to not share what I was really feeling so I wouldn't have to go through all the arguments. So I'd have to go through the loss of love. So I just selectively found those things that were my symbols. But there are other areas I was giving it up. I thought, "Why? Why would a woman try and tell this man not to ride his Harley? Not to do the things that make him feel alive?" Why do you do that, ladies? What? That's why I say again, to present him. What part of you wants to protect him? The part that needs him to protect you. Very nice, sir. Very, very insightful. Get my hand. Very nice. Give a big hand. Oh, come on. Give him a big hand for that. The mother will show up to protect him because the mother doesn't want to try to get hurt. And the reason why is your instinct says, "This is my protector. If my protector disappears, I'm not protected." So, who does that irrationally? Is the animal? The instinct. And this woman comes out, and maybe in the beginning, she starts it as a mothering instinct. And then when that's not enough, she goes into rage and anger because she's in survival, going, "What if he doesn't come back?" Guys, understand. That's all they know. "I've lost my." And I ever see Braveheart? Never see guy with his face half blue, Mel Gibson saying, "What you can, what you can take our lives, but you can never take our." Notice I didn't have to coach any man in the room on that one. And when you do, under the guise of protecting your future, or us, or both, and when you do it from an irrational place, which all people do, then some other part of us has to take over. And then suddenly, we become the men you don't respect because you can control us like your boy. And then we don't respect ourselves because we feel a little dead inside. And then the polarity is gone. The man no longer lives that very piece that excited you and brought you to him, but still scares you. You're scared that if he's free, he may not stay. But if you can embrace him, love all of him, you will own him. All you have to do is be confident. All you have to do is say, "I'm just afraid you're gonna die. I couldn't live without you." You'll find he'll drive more safely if he feels that presence, not nagging. If all you do is radiate love, his freedom will be there, but he will want to share it with you. No one else. Feeling five big about what it's like. If he feels your passion, he will hear you. If in the middle of your fear, you can open to him, maybe you'll throw you on the back of the Harley, and you'll go together. Maybe he can show you that we can be free. Cuz who wants to live this way? I'd rather die on my Harley than live dead inside every day of my life. And then maybe a little fear inside of you will start to disappear. And maybe you'll admire your husband's courage, or your boyfriend's courage, that he loves life so much he has to live it so fully. The adventure has to be there. The challenge has to be there for him to be alive. So, he has an energy to give you, and he has the courage to face those challenges. That's his gift to give you. But if you make your rules for love dependent upon him giving up his freedom, if you're successful, then your relationship begins to die. And if you fail, the meaning you will give as, "He doesn't love me," and the relationship begins to that because you will then close, and with that passion will decline, and then authenticity, and radiance, and even your own confidence. And then there'll be no sensual energy. Will be no sexual energy. And then you'll become a wife, and you'll become a husband, and you'll have a good life until you don't. So, I said to Bob, "Used to drive a Harley." "What do you do now?" "Nothing." "What happened, Bob?" He became a father, and he had a role for a father. He had a part of him that took over that she made very clear. And he began to realize also, what he found father had to be that was unbelievably responsible. There's nothing wrong with being responsible if that's one part of you. But when every part of you is responsible all the time, ladies, when you feel responsibility for everything, everyone, every single moment, it's a little exhausting, isn't it? Then he's got lost his job. So, now I can't support his family. Then he lost his house, lost his home, lost his job. And then his wife wants him to talk about it. She wants a meta report about something that even a think about makes him want to die. And then he thinks he's not worth his wife or his children. And then nothing's working. He's tried several jobs, doesn't work. And she's screaming at him, yelling at him. He doesn't spend enough time with the children. Why doesn't he have a job? And on and on and on and on. And he found decides it's time to go. He didn't reveal his plan to her, by the way. And she wasn't in the room. So, the first thing I need to do is change his what? I know. It sounds pretty basic, my friends. But this is the juice of life because meaning comes out of state. I need to change it now. And change it long term. And start with now. So, I said, "Bob used to ride a Harley." I said, "I need the most attractive five women in the room up here." Which is the perfect thing to say. They all come up, and they start dancing all around Bob. Now, what happens when you take a dead dolphin and you throw a bucket full of fish all over? He starts bouncing all over the place. He's like having the best time. He's looking all around. Everything is bouncing in his face. And this guy, he looks alive again. Suddenly, life is looking much better than death at this moment. Kill my kids? Are you crazy? No problem. Then we rewired Bob's so that he wouldn't just be happy in this moment because he's in a better state, but he would come up with different what? Meanings from now on. And then we anchored those into the normal. A bob was transformed. Bob became the star of the entire week. So, four or five years later, I think five years later, I'm in Fiji. I'm with my creative team. Pam Anderson was there. And I'm sitting down, and I'm starting to write a book. And as I'm working on this book, I started thinking, "I want to grab people. People think this is just positive thinking. They don't have a clue." Then of a clue what we really do. How could with a story that could demonstrate that would grab people? Those first few words I thought, "Well, I just think of, you know, my favorite programs are usually Date With Destiny." What's an example? I thought, "We were Bob." I mentioned to Pam, "I said, Pam, you know, we really gotta check in on Bob, see how he's doing." "Fine." "What's going on with him?" "That'd be a great example, great story." And so, Pam, this is no exaggeration. We were in Fiji. We were in the main, you know, basketball area. We used to do the seminars and things like that. She goes back to the room, and there's an email from Bob's wife. Four years, five years out of it, but at least four years. Yeah. And she comes back, and she's got tears in her eyes, and she says, "You got to read this." And like, she goes, "This is freaky." And the letters from Bob's wife. And she says, "Hi, I'm Bob's wife. I don't for your call." And she'd written a letter to me right afterwards, saying, "I don't know what you did with my husband, but he's a different human being. He's alive. He's the guy that before we got married, you know." And he eventually got a job. But most importantly, right immediately, was different with the kids. He's different with her. Everything was transformed. Thank you. She didn't want him to come by, by the way. She said in the first letter that, you know, she thought that it was just some guru, and he's gonna drink some Kool-Aid. That's why she didn't go. But at that point, if he had to go see a guru to get fixed, she didn't care. He never told her. So, four or five years later, here's this letter. And I read the letter. And paraphrasing of letter, basically says, "Mr. Robbins, to Pam, saying, 'Would you please pass this on? Mr. Robbins, strawberries, I just want you to know I have some bad news.'" And she says, "My husband, Bob, passed away of a heart attack this last week." And I'm writing to you now because she goes, "My heart is, you know, trounced and honor on my children." And she said, "But I want to write you because I wanted you to know what a difference she made in Bob's life." She said, "Because for the last 4 plus years, she said, we have the greatest time of our entire lives. The children knew their father. She said, he was the happiest I've ever known him. And she said, he made me the happiest I've ever been in my life." And so, well, I have unbelievable sadness. She said, "I feel like the woman of Titanic says, 'My heart must go on,' because I have to for my children." She said, "But the gift that you gave, I know he'd want you to know he was always so appreciative. What happened five years ago, four years ago, when we had that session with him? Whatever you did, just watch, you know, it made such a difference." I'm sitting there just all my eyes out, realizing the simplest things make the biggest difference. Just a little change in meaning. Bring it out another part of yourself. Bringing back a part of yourself. She had no clue what his plan was. Unfortunately, she never had to find out. So, that was Bob. Who's this? I'm seeing right here with your man right now. This is Carrie. Yeah. It is Carrie. I know. How you doing? I'm feeling good now. Okay. Okay. Can you tell me, um, you didn't feel accepted when you first moved to the US? How come? You thought you had to be really responsible. Yeah. I thought I had to be responsible. And I was also very lonely. Yes. Um, I'd left all my family and friends behind. And I didn't want Karen to feel bad that, you know, I felt lonely. Yes. So, you know, I tried to cover it up. And Carrie's not good at covering things up. No. Cans is not good at covering things up. Yeah. And Celine is not good at covering things up. And greasy. No. So, so Agnes is good at covering things up. So, Agnes came in to try and help you balance things. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Then how did she try to do that? What did she try to focus you on? What? Being responsible. Yeah. About what? For who? About what? Creating a home for us. Being strong for us. Supporting my Aunt Karen in his career. Yeah. She took the fun out. And the fun out of things, though. That wasn't her intent. She was just trying to help you manage and not show your unhappiness so that your family could still thrive. Yeah. So, she was actually coming from a really beautiful place. I'm gonna get that beautiful place. But it kind of went awry because Agnes really doesn't know how to balance. She just knows how to limit. Write that down. Because all of us have an Agnes that we think knows how to balance, but all it really knows how to do is how to limit. And if you limit instead of balance, life feels dead. And most people who have a wild partner get fearful at some point, want to try and limit their partner. And if they do, they kill a little bit of the filling of the spirit of that partner. And some of people's partner that limits them as inside themselves. But then we think our partner, external partner, is the one that's doing it when it's really an internal partner. And then after a while, we start to resent the external partner. So, what the internal partner is actually doing, which then makes the external partner crazy. And then eventually, that partner starts to behave the way we think that they were behaving when they were limiting us. Often he beat your wife. Come on now. Maybe you would look how easy it was. They influenced him. He doesn't beat his wife. All I got to do is keep asking. You know, eventually find some way to match up with it. And that was my voice. Imagine if it was his. He went from never to within a second question all the time. Verbally, whatever he asked for, you're gonna find, especially in uncertainty, because I went straight towards him. He didn't know was gonna come towards him. So, that put him in a state of uncertainty. He also really cares and wants to grow. So, in that vulnerable place, he's willing to find a way to comply and find some peace that could be perceived in that way and usefully perceiving that way in order to change that pattern. They're gifts within gifts within guests. In fact, in every moment, you think that we're talking to these two, but you must know.
We're not so can I get you, man? Let go of you just for a second. I'm not so beautiful, but I'm only gonna do it because I want him to drink some water. He's dehydrated, and he would never acknowledge it because he's gonna be here for you forever. I want to make sure that he's strong, and with him holding you, it's hard for me to get access to Agnes. How many of you see that? I need to come back to Agnes just for a minute, okay? Carrie, so I'd like to speak to Agnes, and I want you to find Agnes physically inside you. And said the way Agnes was set to now, come over here for a second. Say, "Agnes, come over here for a second. Look at me, Agnes." You recognize Agnes, don't you? Okay, so from now on, you know who's when you see that, that's not your wife, that's Agnes. Hey, Aggie, Aggie, Aggie. That's what I would do. And see, Agnes needs a little help because Agnes thinks she's balancing and trying to be normal. Is Carrie normal? Are you normal? Hell no. Is Carrie normal? What do normal people's lives feel like? Everyone here, boring, dead, devoid of energy, but they are responsible. Is it possibly responsible and not to be normal? Is it possible to have so much fun that out of that fun and that energy, responsibility is handled easily? Where responsibilities became response-ability, the ability to respond instead of responsibility, the limitations of life.
See, limits are incredibly valuable. See, without this glass and its limits, I couldn't drink that. It would just go through my fingers. Without the limits of the glass, I wouldn't be able to taste this liquid here. It'd just go through my fingers. It would be nothing to transfer. So some of us would say, "I need to be responsible. Grab him that glass so hard." Other people just say, "Wow, here's an opportunity. Okay, done that. What's next?" Some people have to hold on to the glass every moment, stare at the glass, make sure the glass doesn't tip over. Funny thing, you set it down, it'll just be fine. Now, somebody might walk it over. It's true, but if they do, you could fill it back up. Oh, I used to get up. Gentleman, ever half of that? How would you get upset? What would you get upset over? What glass is being knocked over? It doesn't have to be a glass. That's encouraging. When you rule anything, then it gets to happen a lot. Yeah, then you get to be upset a lot. If your rule is, "Every day above ground is a great day," how do you know you're successful? If I look down and see them above ground, somebody with that kind of rule is gonna be happy. How often? By the time somebody who's got, "If this happens or that happens, if this doesn't happen, if that doesn't happen, if this happens, this way it happens, that way, or this aperture, that tips over, if that occurs, or if this happens or that occurs." Happy or angry? Which one? Angry will eventually become sad because you can't take the tension of anger forever. So then you're gonna get sad and depressed. Then sad and oppressive will come too bad when you feel like you're gonna die. And then eventually, you get angry. And we're done being angry with yourself, you'll have to be able to see that it's not you because you can't take anymore. So you externalize anger to someone else, usually the person closest to you and who is most safe. And you will treat them away. You would not trade a stranger because it's not safe to do that. And so how you abuse the very person you supposedly loved the most, starting with yourself. So what things would be like tipping over the glass for you? You know, face looks, what car looks, you know, different facial expressions, different facial expressions. Okay, different sort of approaches that Kieran would touch. Some touch would just set me off. Which that's what set you off? Usually when he tried to, you know, be intimate with me, it would, yes, just annoy me. Annoy you? And why were you being annoyed by wanting to be intimate with you? Because I didn't, I felt like I couldn't be myself. Why couldn't you be yourself? Because I had to be responsible. Who taught you this responsibility thing? Where is that? Where does that blueprint come from? I think it comes from obviously my parents, but my dad was a great guy. Yes. Um, happy? No. Neither of my parents were really happy when I was growing up. They're quite unhappy. Great. He never, you know, held down a job, wearing like that. And so it's quite unstable that way. Yes. And so it's my mum that had to be the provider. Yes. Have you got to be the provider in your relationship? Ah, no. I mean, Karen's phenomenal provider. And yet, you know, I feel like I should be. I, you know, I feel like I should be doing more. I should be providing, you know, contributing more, you know, financially. And do you need to contribute more financially? No. Very nice. My, I think so. Your model of the world is, I have to contribute financially in a significant way. And therefore, I'm not. Therefore, I am worthless and not worthy of love. So even if he's loving me, get away from me. Couldn't really be loving me because I don't deserve it. Now she's going back to being British. A bit screwed. No, completely screwed.
[Laughter] But you know, when I met Kiran, I'm sorry, I'm gonna do the meta report. But when I, hey, thanks for the warning, by the way. Gentlemen, does that help for us to be warned that it's a meta report? How many men, when she said that, actually smiled inside? Let me use your hands. They, I. And what happened inside you? You went, "Okay, hey, I need a breather." Bet we're gonna. What would you, what do you think I have to fix anything? That's good because there's gonna be no point. Okay, go. Let's go. But how many of you men now actually, for a little excitement, when she said that? Let me see that. Felt excited. Ladies, I want you to see that. What we've accomplished here. Now, here's the secret to keeping men excited about meta reports. Can't ever be more than ten minutes. Ever. Unless you're dating, then it can make it to 15. But otherwise, ten. Okay. Have you been together? Not dating. It's ten. Now, if you can do two or three-minute, five-minute meta reports, you will have complete focus of your man. It is not, they don't care. It says our database can only hold so much of a story without a point. He said, "Maybe we could work up to 10 minutes." So could give us, do you think I'm gonna be, do you think you make up three to five minutes? I was, you know, I had a good job. I was career-wise successful. And I felt that way. And when we moved to the United States, I didn't have that. And I lost a huge part of myself because by having that, that independence, I felt I was able to be myself. Now, here's what's really interesting. Is that yourself? Or is that your mother? Let that sink in before you answer. Was your mom happy? No. And neither, you know, I mean, good grandma. Each other very nice. For a half an hour ago, I was very, very unhappy. Happy. What's your mother's middle name? Mix. Seventy. Mix seventy. Yeah. It's Scottish. What does it mean? It's a type of, it's a clan. It's time. Yes. Yes. Charlie. What's your grandmother's name? Too. Don't know. Gram. Gram. Was she happy? Probably not. She lived in Scotland and her husband died, which is cold. And, you know, by the way, you moved away from where it's cold and people died. Yeah. Well, to the United States. What do you live in? United States. Northern California, Bay Area. I think somewhere in the clan there was an Agnes, or you wouldn't have picked that name. You don't have to know who it was, but you know how it was. And Agnes was the one back in the days of Scotland when it was cold and dark and people died so easily, who had to be vigilant all the time. She, an archetype of a responsible woman who went through hell on earth every day of her life to keep everybody alive. There was no room to. Because although even in those times, there were one women that were casters, there were no Selenas in this woman's mind. In fact, she would think all these were people that didn't understand what life was really about. And the women died very, very heavy, hard lives. There were women at the same time that lived the same life of death, but somehow they had a Selena that was driving the show. Even the hard time, she knew were a season, and that every season was serving a purpose. That the chapter that you'd been in, as painful as it was, served a purpose because it brought lessons you couldn't have had without the pain at that time. And Selena understands there's a time for pain, and there's a time for pleasure. It's a time for joy, a time for happiness, there's time for faith, there's time for courage, there's a time for love, there's a time for sensuality, there's a time for the sexiness, there's a time for romance, there's a time to be dark, there's a time to be light. In the Bible, it says for everything there is a time. Some people don't realize what time it is. It's been winter. Yes. I know he's laughing. Tears. Finding it. It's been a long, dark winter. What season is it now? Spring. Yes. And that's what always follows winter. And that's true in your relationships, my friends. If you can dig underneath all of us, the longest, hardest winter will lead to the most beautiful spring of your life. If you don't just stick it out, if you go deeper, if you dig in, if you step into your partner's shoes, and if you get underneath there, if you know, and you never lose sight of who they are. That's why one of those laws at the very top of our list here is to know the truth. Know your partner's soul. Selena is the soul of this woman. That will never change, no matter what the season. It never has. But if you lose track of that, you'll sink. Agnes is the soul. When Agnes is just a set of behaviors that have gotten organized into a personality designed to try and serve a purpose that now is actually out of context. So can I talk to Agnes one final moment here, please? Let me chat with her just for a minute. Okay. I'm speaking to Agnes. Yeah, yeah. No, just Agnes. Agnes, a part of you might think you would have not been appreciated right now. That what you know, I spoke to you and I asked permission to speak to you both in the beginning and now for a reason because I know that you're there because a lifesaver when it's needed. There will be times in life when you will need to show up. But it's been a long winter from 2000 to 2009. And I think what happened was you think it's always winter. And when it's not, you make it winter. And I want you to know, I know your intent. And so does everyone in this room, including your husband and Carrie. And there's not a person in here that doesn't hope to hell that they got a strong Agnes inside themselves for those moments when you're needed. So I want you to know, I appreciate you. Husband, appreciate you, Agnes. Showed up, didn't she? Go ahead. She was the, she was the one that had the strength when I had my accident back in 2006. And you know, nearly killed myself in Colombia. She was the one that was my advocate. That needed to be there. That had the strength. That was with me every step of the way. That got me out of Colombia back to Miami. Spent two months with me in hospital before we even got back to the Bay Area, back to home. She, she was needed. Without that strength and that ability, just that responsibility, I may not be here.
[Music] Now you can come and hug Agnes, and she won't leave. [Music] [Applause] Agnes, you got a smile on you. Agnes has a smile. Agnes is enjoying you. Yeah. Nice and light, actually. Yes. Agnes, what season is it for knowing what season right now? Agnes, you can be strong and happy. I realize that now. Deborah, ladies and gentlemen. And what can make you strong and happy? To know how appreciated you really are. Agnes has been walking around feeling unappreciated. And the truth is, there are times Agnes has not been appreciated because it's like somebody really enjoying and write them over to visit, and they stay for five years. You enjoyed them for the first day or two, or three or a week. You love them dearly, but you didn't ask them to move in. And then Agnes starts feeling she's not appreciated because she's still here nine years later. Agnes deserves to go play. Agnes, you need to retire so you can go play. You've been working your ass off, and that's why it's so heavy. And you did an incredible job at several stages, not only that one, but that was probably the most intense one. But what you need to know is it wasn't that you're so responsible, it's that you're so loving. Construct. I agree. I mean, I, I know I'm extremely extreme. That I think it's been the hardest. Either feeling like I'm not getting, able to give. Are you, am I giving as Agnes? No. Yes, I am. Are you receiving? As Agnes? Because that's the other thing about Agnes's, they don't receive. And when you don't receive, you say, head nodding right there. Then Agnes, when she doesn't receive, will feel unloved. And yet Agnes is blocking it. And what Agnes is trying to say is, break through to me and show me that I'm not only Agnes, that I'm Kaz, and I'm Selena. And then, but what Agnes can now know is you don't have to be sad because you're loved. You don't have to be sad because you are appreciated. You're respected. But it's also time for you to take a long vacation. Except for nine straight years of working every day and every night. It's fine to have vacation. And Agnes needs to grow too, because the relationship is at another stage, a new stage. And your man is now a man, not just an adventurer. And she'll feel even younger with each passing day because all of you in this room entered into a new world when you came here. It's starting when you came to your first event. It started to take root. That new world entered you. Probably at the time at the end of Dickens' world, where everything works in reverse, and everything that's been wound up unwinds in that parallel world. Now that you've begun to enter in with me. Ever seen the Twilight Zone? In that world, you start out dead and you begin life as an old person. Very quickly, they give you a gold watch and you go to work. You start out working less hard, and as time goes by, you work harder and harder and harder. You become younger and younger as you do it. In this world, people that build bombs, the bombs that exploded come back up, reassemble into the plane, come back and get disassembled, and then they go out, back out in natural ingredients to back out in the environment. Not just the physical bombs, the mental, emotional, belief system bombs. And then you work and you work and you work and you work and you get younger and younger and younger. And you laugh more and more. Things that used to upset you. And pretty soon, you get to go to college. You start as a senior and you move back to become more and more young and more curious. And you get curious with each other too, and you're not so sure of each other. So there's more interest and playfulness. And you get younger and younger. And you finally go back to high school, where you play even more than college. Some of you. And then, if you're really good, you get to go back to grad school. Pretty soon, you're in kindergarten. And then now all you do is play full-time. That's your job. Play full-time. They call you Aggie, Agnes. And you laugh and play. You giggle for no reason. And every day you feel younger. Every day.
I wake up each morning so excited for another day. So excited. Feel so grateful.
[Music] And he has some friends you laugh and giggle with, and you do stupid things. And you don't care that it's stupid. In fact, it's not because you no longer have a blueprint called stupid. You just have a blueprint called discover and play. And then you play doctor, and it's not bad, it's just interesting. And finding new and unique. And well, maybe a little bad, but that kind of feels good too. If no adults are around. And there aren't at this stage because you got younger. And all you're surrounded with those kids are having fun. And then you get younger and younger. And pretty soon, you can't even talk, just make sounds. Anxiety of heaven.
[Music] And then the end, life being held in cradled.
[Music] And then the very end of life is you're a twinkle in your mother and father's eyes. That's not my fence.
[Music] And then you go back and you're with God. You are the twinkle in everyone's eyes. You up for this, Agnes? By myself? Life of joy. Will you be responsible to make sure that Kaz and Chrissie reconnect and Selena too? Um, since you've been in charge, do you ever play the game where you will run around the round and in one person's the middle? And then when you're in the middle, you pick the next person and they jump in the middle. Since you've been in the middle, who's gonna run the show now? I think that's a very wise choice. Can I ask her if she's want to take it on? Will you ask her? Go ask her if she's willing to take on. Ask her if she's gonna be yet. But what it means is Kaz and Chrissie gotta be gay. How much bigger say? Absolutely. They're smart enough to do that. They're gonna say yes. And Carrie over here, she's got to remember that she's, she's filled with a sisterhood and she's not alone. She was real alone because she thought she went to a new place and that new place was she's alone. What she really did is she just shut off from her sisters. If her sisters were alive inside of her, she'd never be alone. That. And God, do you have a dog? A cat? A cat. Okay. Jim, Rab, dyslexia. Did you ever have a dog? Yes. What was his name? Laddie. Laddie seems appropriate for a Scottish dog. Ready. Laddie, Laddie. Yeah. Laddie's with you now. How much joy did you have when you were Laddie? Oh, lots of joy. Then who's gonna take care of Laddie? Oh, Agnes has a job. Well, Agnes take care of Laddie? Oh, yeah. But she enjoyed being with Addy. Yes, I think so. Would there be great friends? That's right. Responsible to walk. So will she do that? Oh, yeah. Because Laddie's gonna bring Agnes the spirit that she needs. So her vacation time does include some responsibilities. She's to step into the part, the energetic part of this universe and the world where Laddie is alive and well, but still needs love and attention. And Laddie's a dog. So if you were dyslexic, what species is letting God? So Agnes's job is to take care of the dog. Okay. Maddie, would you please? Let's see if she's willing to take on the ball. Go. Just have a little visit with her. I know she's been listening this whole conversation. So check in with her and see if she's want to take charge and have fun. Love us. Billy, she's well up for the challenge. Tell her that your, your back. Can you believe in her? She knows. Okay, good. Ask as if it's cool. As Selena takes over. Oh, yeah. I need to speak to Chrissie before I go. I'd like to speak to Chrissie. You might have to get out of the chair. Yes, that's so. I'd like to speak to Chrissie because she's never around for a while. Am I speaking of Chrissie? That's not. That's Chrissie. In and out with Kaz and Selena hanging out. All three of them. Nothing wrong with that. But I need to speak to Chrissie. Um, Selena, do I have permission to speak to Chrissie? Yes. Okay, thank you. Kaz, you call that. Mm-hmm. Agnes, you called me. Speaking with the dog. Oh, she's with the dog. Which means with God. Good. Okay, so Chrissie, I'd like to speak words for me.
[Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I stopped to keep the damn sauce bottle quickly. Give them a hand.
[Applause] Kranthi, kissy, where you been, babe? Look what you do. This man, Chris. Look at him. Look at him. Look at the energy coming on this man. Look at his face. He's gonna smile. He's not usually a man to get embarrassed. Dizzy. Really. He's not even very. He's just like a live wire. So Christian, question for you. Now that Agnes is with the dog, and Ken's is out there too, and Selena, and they want you to be here with them, and they want you to take charge a bit. Or you want to take charge? How's the feel of you back out? Feels good.
[Applause] And that's that Christy. She has a hard time expressing her true feelings. Christy, you know how to make things happen, don't you? Yes. By the way, Carrie's been needing you for a long time. She needs help. That girl. Would you agree? So are you back fully? Yes. I think so. Yes. Zero to ten, how much were you back now, Chrissie? Now, zero to ten, I'd say nine. Great. What has to happen for you to be a ten? Just Carrie have to invite you. So you know you're fully appreciated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So cuz you don't wanna push yourself on her, although you will. Okay, I understand. So first of all, look how happy everyone is that you're back. Just look how happy. How much you're desired, appreciated, and loved and adored and hungered for. Look, look how hungered for you are, Chrissie. Yeah, she gets it. So then let's do this. Chrissie, do you love Selena? Yes. Oh, yes. You love Kev? Yes. She thinks that you're a little competitive with her sometimes. As a trip. Yeah. She's got a little girlish qualities about her. That Chrissie, you know, she doesn't. Yes, she's more direct. Like, get the KY versa canvas would say. Do you think we might want to stop with the department store? Yeah. So, um, let's talk to Carrie for a second, if I may. Will you just hang out here for a moment? Cool. I'd like to speak to Carrie. Hey, hey. I'm noting nickname. What's really Kim? Kelly. What's just Carrie? Have anything? Well, my nickname is Kiss. Oh, so maybe Carrie is Kaz, and she just forgot. I think so. Hmm. Something to think about. Maybe the nickname is really me. To the name of some formality, and I started to become the formality instead of me. There must be only you. So maybe Kari wasn't fully inviting Christian because she felt a little competitive with her because Kari really cares. Oh, and Kari being Kaz didn't feel fully accepted, so she got scared. So she pulled an Agnes for reinforcements. But maybe Kari as Kaz forgot that they're one of the same, and that Chrissie is part of Kaz, and Kaz is part of Chrissie. Hmm. Let's explore a moment. If we haven't been doing that very much today. Where does Kaz live in your body? Point to the first response. Where's Kaz live in your body? Right here. In your heart. Hmm. So if you're not being casual enough in, in your heart, that would explain a lot. Where is Carrie? The alter ego of Kaz? The appropriate Kaz? The fake Kaz? The formal Kaz? Right here. Where's Chrissie? Further south. Yes. Where's Selena? That's right. Selena's all over and flowing. So where was Agnes stuck? That's funny. Cuz he thought that's where she was living was on his on his ass all the time. Where's Agnes now? Where's Chrissie? Good. So now I want you to make sure that the energy between your heart and Chrissie is so strong. Cuz thinking those are separate isn't one of the ways Chrissie got left in the cold or the hot, depending upon how you look at it. Close your eyes. Go up and unmask Carrie in the head. And when you add mask, you'll see who is she really. There you go. Who is she really? She's someone who's very loving, caring. She's just. If you put an Olympic sprinter in mud, how fast are they? When you put Carrie in your head instead of in your heart, where she belongs. So close your eyes and invite her back into your heart. Let her know she can visit your head whenever it's needed, but she doesn't have to live there. And that there's easy access to your head, so she has no fear. But she's not nurtured in your head. The head is a place to visit, like a library. You go when you need something. Or Google. Google is very helpful. You can get it when you want it. But many of you, and you go to Google, you get 8 million entries that distract you, and they don't have relevance whatsoever to what you're really looking for. And some of you then get frustrated and just keep googling, getting more and more things that distract you, and they don't want what you want. I suggest Google's out of date. Something new is coming, and it's already in your head. It's an intelligent browser that understands the head is something to browse, grab what you want, and get out. Take what you need back to the heart and decide what to do from there. So where is Carrie in your heart? What's her name there? Polly. Polly. Polly. Polly. So now that Polly's there, I have a really important question. What Polly in your heart? How does life feel? Selena's all over. Chrissie's down under. Kaz is Carrie. Polly's in the heart. Agnes is in the heart, playing with the dog. And retired, having always been there. Up. She's ever needed. She'd be available. She's a wise one. How does it feel? That part. Liam, you're freeing. Yes. Fine. I can do anything. Hmm. How does Polly feel about your husband? Very much. How does Kaz feel about your husband? Wants to have fun. How does he feel about Polly? And how's he feel about Ken? Hmm. How does he feel about Agnes? I think he told us he's so grateful to Agnes. As he feel about Selena? He loves them all. How does he feel about Chrissie? I think we all know that. It's look at the face. You even bring up Chrissie's name. Look at that. So gonna bring up the name. This kissy. You know, you could continue to be known as Carrie. That's right. You might even, every now and then, Casey doesn't known as give a clue. Say, "Honey, you're not talking to Carrie right now. Talking to Polly." He'll know when Chrissie's here. That's clear. Might have to point out Selena, 'cause she's really elegant. When I met my wife, she told me her name was Bonnie. Well, look there. And I went, "We've just been together a short time." And I said, "You don't seem like a Bonnie to me." And she said, "I've never felt like I'm a Bonnie." I said, "Well, I'm just curious, you know, you've got so many different parts. You, whatever, who are you? I mean, what would be your name if you were to pick a name? What would you pick?" And she said, "Sage." I said, "Then you're my Sage." That's how she got a name, Sage, her nickname. And so I got to know Sage, this incredibly diverse, magical woman, but such strength and beauty and humor and spirit and soul. And I called her that each day. And then she became my sweetheart, my love, my girl, my woman. Events they had the privilege of my wife. I put in Bob and I met Billy the Kid. Holy, they met other parts of her too. I met these gentle parts and these scared parts and these happy parts. They all were involved with all these different personalities. Then I met Lexi. Whoa. I remember one time I was in Australia, we're doing a seminar. There's Lexi. And then she has an even larger personality. And there was a man in the room, and there was a woman really hurting. She was actually suicidal. You guys were there. And he had a chance to really help her. And he got into his ego, and he was leaving this woman out in the cold. And I was so angry he would do this to this woman. And I was gonna take a strip off of him. But then I thought, you know what? I don't need to. Because my wife will do it with one sentence. And so sure enough, we came back. We talked to. I said, "I'm gonna go have lunch." She goes, "Well, let me handle him." I thought, "Oh, I don't know if I want to have that much pain." And so she went over and had a very direct conversation with this young man. The next morning, he raised his hand to share. They called on him. And he's like, "Mr. Robbins, he said, you know, you talked about your wife having all those personalities." And he said, "Last night, I met Lexi." And all I can say is, you're a brave man. But one of the reasons our relationship was so beautiful is because I felt all the parts of me loved by my wife. Can I know she knows every part of her is loved by me? And when you love all the person's parts, when no part is wrong, when the parts that are needy are still loved instead of saying, "You're needy," the parts that are intense are not tried to be less intense, they're appreciated that they have their place. That's what a relationship becomes a love affair like no other. In order to love those parts of her, I had to love parts of me, and vice versa. She loved parts of me I would ever level them myself. And her loving them, since I loved her, made me be able at least to appreciate them. And we both have become a more whole by being together. And yet, we can also then step back out into our polarities, or step in, or switch. There's no, you should be a certain way. We just recognize that we're all these parts. And that we attracted each other because those parts are also in each other. I got a Billy the Kid in me. When she has a tone in her, she's got an Einstein in her. She calls me, "I nice." He's got a brilliant woman. I know what she calls me. Einstein because that part of her so alive. All the parts coming together. All the parts love. Probably the greatest thing I have to translate for you because it's in men's speak for him to say, "I love all the parts of her" is to say, "I worship her." Could it right now? But he still speaks in men's speak. So you might miss those words till he learns them. Because most men do not love all parts. In fact, he loved Agnes. He just didn't know how to make her happy. He appreciates and respects every part of you. That's not something that you can get in three or six or nine months when all the chemicals are flowing. Because then all you do is fall in love with your fantasy. He can have that too. She says, "That's so true." But you ever notice how fantasy is never as good, or reality never seems as good as fantasy? It's not true. When you accept all the parts, then reality is greater than fantasy. Something you need to tell him. I don't know what it is, but I know you do. I know I've been a.
[Applause] And I know I've said some done some hurtful things, but I would never, ever intentionally hurt you. I really wouldn't. At the beginning of the week, I heard Tony saying, saying, you know, they die for each other. And I was questioning that in myself for you. But I know.
[Applause] [Music] [Music] What would you like to say to her? Even when, even. Oh, thank you, darling. Isn't darling a beautiful name? Thank you, darling. I would say, even when she was a, I didn't see her that way. I still loved her. And I could see what was inside. Even though you wouldn't bring out the other aspects, I knew they were in there. And that's all I wanted. And all I want is for you to be happy. And I worship you. What if she's not happy? I'll make it happy. What if she doesn't want to be happy? I'll just be there for her. That's. Yes. Ladies, make some noise so he knows that's the right answer.
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