Transcription
This new moon in Aries is going to be intense. And that's actually why I'm doing this video a lot earlier than I normally do because on the other side of this new moon is not just an intention of what you want to do. It's an intention of who you are becoming.
This is a complete dissolution and restructuring of your identity at its core level because Aries is the first breath. It is "I am" before any other labels get attached onto it. So this is really changing you from your core. And I got to be honest with you, you know, this energy is feeling quite intense. It's feeling quite abrasive, slightly aggressive.
And as the month goes on, as I mentioned in my April energy forecast video, as the month goes on, we're going to have more and more planets in Aries. And as you will see when I pull up the astrology chart, all of the planets that are piled up in Aries on April 17th when we have this new moon, Aries is not soft energy. It is pure yang. It is fire and it is the first fire sign. So, it is just pure fire.
A lot of the things that I talked about in my April energy forecast video still apply to this new moon, but there's a lot to get into here today. This is a really pivotal month, and I don't say that often. This month is is full of momentum. It is full of uh fire. The energy that I'm getting from this is not I don't like using dualistic words like easy and hard and you know, but sometimes it's just the way it is and it doesn't feel easy and it's going to take a lot of awareness in order for us to be able to get the gold that is being offered to us now.
In mundane astrology, so, world astrology, Mars rules war, and we're seeing all of this amping up in in the world. And maybe we're feeling even the war within ourselves. You know, this energy that something needs to be done, something is calling towards us, but we don't feel ready. And there is such a myth of being ready. I just sent out an email to my um email list talking about this that there is no readiness.
I've been feeling this intensity myself, you know, and this is part of the reason why I don't like pre-recording transit videos too far in advance because I want to feel the energy for myself. It's one thing to be intellectually aware of what these archetypes mean and how they've come up in the past, and it's another thing to look at and and feel the whole sky together and then talk about it.
This new moon, April 17th at 27 degrees of Aries in gate three, which is a gate of ordering and it moves from the shadow of chaos into the gift of innovation. It's about making order out of chaos, pure creation energy, but it doesn't come easily. It's a very very powerful gene key. We'll read a little bit more about it uh later.
During this new moon, we have Neptune, Mercury, Mars, Saturn, Chiron, Sun, and Moon in Aries. That's seven planets. Now, if you remember last month in March, we talked about how we had this massive pileup of Pisces in the sky and what that meant, right? I talked about it being the grief before the shift. And I said, feel this because what's coming next month is not going to give you as much opportunity to feel and the momentum it's wanting to push you towards something. So, it's moving super fast. This comes right after the Chiron Kazmi as Chiron passes through the heart of the sun on April 16th. And then after this, we have a Mercury, Mars, Saturn conjunction from the 18th to the 20th. So right now as you're watching this video, if you're watching this video before the new moon, if you're feeling the intensity or you're watching it externally, this is this is like April light.
During this new moon, this is where we can really start seeing the new beginning. Now, when I say that, I'm not saying you're going to see the outcome of the new beginning. This is why that whole myth of being ready is going to, you know, really kick us in the butt because Aries is initiation. It is a spark. So, a new beginning emerges, a new idea emerges, and we're being asked to move with it rather than think, "Well, where is this going to lead? Well, I would just like waste my time." And it's like, no, is this an aligned decision towards growth, towards my evolutionary path? And have I passed it through the body? Have I discovered if it's a true desire? I made a video about that called "The Desire Trap," distinguishing fantasy from desire. Is this a true desire? And so it's not just movement for the sake of movement. It's moving towards something that is aligned for us where we are right now. You're going to have to take a risk because you can't see the other side of this. This is just a beginning. A beginning is a spark. That is all Genie Key 3 is about as well. Being so devoted to the process that you keep failing until success is reached because you're devoted to the process.
This is the whole thing about creativity as well. You know, people get really stuck. I I work with a lot of people, which by the way, my one-on-one sessions are officially closed. I have booked all the spaces and uh I am not doing one-on- ones until further notice. So, at least for a few months. So, group programs are going to be the best way to work with me. If you've been wanting to work with me, I might do some workshops here and there. Um, I haven't really decided that yet, but group programs for sure because they're so transformational and so amazing for the community aspect.
This is I I work with people all the time who come to me and they're like, "Oh, I want to do this thing." And I'm like, "Why aren't you doing it?" They're like, "Well, I just don't know if it's going to be worth it." And it's like, "Well, then you might want to consider if you actually really want to do that thing, right? Or this is a fear talking right now because creativity and art, it's a process. It's a devotion to a process. And you could say this about life because creativity is just a part of life. If you're not devoted to the process of life, then you're always going to be reaching for something else. You're always going to be reaching for the next thing to fulfill something that is a deeply unmet emotional need and it never gets fulfilled. Trust me, I tried. Trust me, I tried. I tried too. Yeah.
You know what? Without further ado, let's just let's look at the chart and see see what is going on. So, this is the astrology chart for the Aries new moon, April 27th, I'm sorry, April 17th at 27 degrees of Aries. As I mentioned, all of these planets in Aries, the moon in Aries, the ruler of that moon in Aries, Saturn in Aries. Saturn in Aries is in his fall and it's often said to be the most difficult position for Saturn. Now, I personally like my Saturn with some grit and Saturn Aries has that grit. Is this a more abrasive energy? Yes. But I think Saturn and Mars have more in common than we can than we talk about. I mean, Mars is exalted in Capricorn. The reason why Saturn doesn't do well here, other than the actual astrological reason, which is because it's exalted in Libra, is that Saturn is a grandfather. Aries is a baby. So, you've essentially made this made this grandfather have a conversation with a baby for like two and a half, three years till 2028, but he's already been in Aries since last year on and off. So, this grandpa gets frustrated because the grandpa is wise. He's trying to guide the baby's like, "Wait, I want to go here and wait, I want to go there." It's like very impulsive energy. And Saturn is like, "Dude, what are you doing?"
This is why movement for the sake of movement is not what we're being asked to do. And how do we distinguish real movement, aligned movement with movement for the sake of movement? We have to slow it down. We have to slow it down. And the energy right now does not want to slow it down. Um, in my program Creative Rewilding, we have three uh on top of like the weekly sessions, the live sessions and teachings, we have uh creative co-working sessions. And during those I will be like stepping in halfway mark to do a little somatic check-in because in my last video, April energy forecast, I talked about how the uh archetype of Aries with as it relates to the nervous system has to do with sympathetic activation, which is you know, when we're about to fight or flight from a bear, right? But nowadays it's happening all the time, you know, just cuz we're under so much stress, especially if you're a sensitive person, you have a sensitive nervous system like me, that means that it's the energy of "go." Our bodies are saying, "Let's go, let's go, let's go." And we have to consciously slow that down and be like, "Where am I going? You know, like why am I why am I doing this? And is this um is this aligned?" Cuz a lot of what we avoid even in creativity, and this is something that's come up in my own life, in my work, is is partially because we are in a state that is too high. We're outside of the regulation window of our nervous system and then we wonder why we don't do those things, right? So like if we are working on a project and we are 10 out of 10, well our nervous system is associating that with danger. We also don't want to be zero out of 10 cuz then we're not involved. So how do we get engaged in a way that with something that we love that doesn't feel like a threat but also has enough engagement? This is what Aries season is showing us right now.
Now if we look at some of the aspects that we have here, really the biggest one is Pluto sex tiling Neptune, uh Mercury, Mars, Saturn. This energy though does not feel beautiful. This energy feels harsh. Saturn and Aries feels harsh and now we're having Mars Mars and Saturn coming together is a very somatic uh somatic feeling. It's an a feeling of tension and frustration mentally, mentally or physically. The day before this, we have a Chiron Kazimi in Aries. So, Chiron is going or the sun is going to move through Chiron. We're going to have a Chiron Kazimi. Chiron's been here since 2018. Um, this is the wound of existing as a self. Aries is the distinctive self, the independent self. The primal question of whether or not you have the right to exist, to act, to initiate, to be seen as an individual with your own will and direction has been coming up since 2018. A deep uncertainty about whether or not your desires are valid or or not, which is why I've been talking so much about desires, right? Mars is a huge desire planet. So is Venus. This kazmi happens in gate three. So same gate as the new moon. So let's talk about that a little bit.
Gate three is one of the most primal gates in human design because it sits at the very start of the sacral center and it carries the energy of ordering chaos into form. It is, you know, chaos is raw material for creativity, but it needs structure and containment to survive. So we are are learning this with this Chiron Kazmi with this new moon. The I Ching hexagram for hexagram 3 is literally called "Difficulty at the Beginning." The image that is associated with it is a blade of grass pushing through frozen earth. Chiron Kazmi in gate three has this quality of being illuminated in the wound of not yet knowing how to begin something, of not being able to see the order yet, feeling like you're pushing through, that you're that blade of grass pushing through, you know, or the um rose that grows from concrete, right? It's like pushing through concrete as a rose and there's no guarantee that anything will come through and you're being asked to try anyway. This is like I said, the fear of starting something new without knowing if it's going to work. And if you know that fear, old wounds around being stopped before you can even begin. This is projects, you know, initiations, self-expression that you kill before it even has a chance to survive or to be seen by the other. And your job is to see the wound clearly without being destroyed by it. That's your job during this Chiron Kazimi. You might have this like recognition of like, "Oh, that's what it's been about. That's what it's been about. This wounding I have around who I am, my right to exist and to move through." And we when we talk about the Sabian symbol, you'll see this new moon, we'll just go into it right now, you know, as as we're stepping in from April 16th now to April 17th. This new moon is about coming back to the self and allowing yourself to go in a direction that's new that might be scary, 100%, but you have the courage. And it's just that like this Chiron Kazimi is clearing the ground for this seed to be planted, not once again the seed of "Oh, I'm going to do this thing. I am becoming a person who does these things."
Okay, so now let's get let's get deeper into the new moon. This is an insane stellium. This cannot be overstated. Okay, everything is being funneled through right now. All those archetypes of those planets is being funneled through a sign about emergence, right? Creation at the very beginning in gate three, chaos being born into form. Neptune's presence here is also worth noting because Neptune dissolves and Neptune is not in gate three. He's still in gate 25 because he moves really slowly. He's going to be here till 2039. So he we'll have him for a while. Um, and that's a gate of universal love. That's a gate of acceptance. But every planet that goes through Aries is getting dissolved by him and then getting restructured by Saturn. Right? What Neptune offers us is that the old stories that we've created, that we've had about who we are, about our self-concept, they're becoming more permeable. We're being able to see them because of that.
I need you to look at where you have Aries in your chart. Any planets that you have in really any part of Aries, cuz the whole whole sign is being activated. Of course, for this new moon, anything around like 24 to 29 degrees of Aries is going to be the most activated. Um, by the time the sun and the moon conjunct in gate three, the question is not "What do I want to create?" but "Who is doing the creating?"
Now, you know, last night I uh I'm in my luteal phase and I have really intense dreams, right? The veil is thin. It's not just a hormonal shift for women when we're in these cycles, right? It's deeply psychic. It's deeply spiritual. And so, I always have really interesting dreams before I get my period. Uh which by the way, I have a history of polycystic ovary syndrome and endometriosis. and my symptoms have gone down like 80% and I really want to talk about that soon because there's been no medical intervention. Uh the dream I had was essentially reminding me about an aspect of myself that I've struggled with my entire life, which is of not being not feeling seen. Uh and I attribute this a lot to my Venus South Node Chiron conjunction in my 12th house opposing Neptune. I've always made it a point to see other people because I never wanted them to feel the way that I did. And I would always hang out with people that no one else wanted to hang out with. I would spend recess and, you know, other times in between classes with people who, you know, had disabilities or um just didn't have a lot of friends. And that was always really important to me because even though I I on the outside looked like, oh, very popular, whatever, I always felt deeply unseen. I've always felt like slightly detached in in relationships, like I can be in a room and I'm always, even when I'm fully engaged in it, I'm always kind of observing, which is what makes me really good at my job, you know, working with people because I can immerse myself in the other without losing perspective of the bigger picture. Uh but in personal life, it can it can be difficult, right? And so when I woke up this morning, I was noticing that there is like this sense of grief around around this uh after this dream kind of evoked this. And I got ready to make this video and I picked up this pendant and I this is given from at least my great-grandmother to my grandmother who gave it to my mom and it was passed down when um when that person had a kid and I didn't have a kid but my mom just recently gave it to me. And my I'm not Muslim, my grandmother was and she passed away recently. And so this is actually from the Quran and it's a protective amulet. And so I looked into what it actually meant and it is, I'll read it in in in English of course because I don't know Arabic. I speak Farsi as well, but it says, "Allah is the best protector and He is the most merciful of the merciful." And it comes at a point in the Quran, and I'm once again not an authority on this, so please feel free to correct me, but it comes when there is a prophet, Jacob, his brothers wanted to take his son Benjamin to go to Egypt, but they had previously betrayed him around um his other son, I think that was Joseph. And when he goes to give his son away anyway, he says this, essentially saying that in times of fear and uncertainty and not feeling trust, I put it in the hands of Allah. And whether or not you're religious, I'm not religious myself, it's a reminder that we can't control the outcome. Can we trust even if we've been hurt? Can we trust even if we're not sure if it's going to work out? This amulet reminded me that I am held by my ancestors. I am held by something bigger. And maybe it might bring some consolation in your personal life or looking out into the collective and recognizing that there is always something beyond what we know, but beyond what we can see that we can be held by. And so, can we rest in that and know that that is not our job? Our job is to continue living and doing the best we can and taking care of ourselves and taking care of the people we love. It's not to make sure that the outcome is okay, that everything is okay all the time and to save the world, right? There's something bigger than us at play here.
So, this new moon really is not the fresh start in the way that we usually talk about fresh starts. When we talk about a fresh start, we kind of assume the continuity of an old self doing the fresh start. And this fresh start is more like the self that was stopping your new beginning finally steps aside and a new self comes in. And and this is where Saturn really helps us with that containment. You know, both Saturn and and Mars, they don't like complacency, right? Mars just moves a little a little impulsively and Saturn is more patient. So, we're really being asked to like navigate those archetypes of consciously slowing things down even when we feel the energy to go forward. I actually have a Substack coming out about this called "The Somatic Wisdom of Saturn," and it's going to uh talk about this. So, I'm really excited. If you're not already on my Substack or my newsletter, make sure you join because this is essentially what I talked about and how I I recently went on a really uh strenuous hike and the somatic wisdom of Saturn, especially in Aries, really came through and it really was help what helped me. It was a huge aha moment that I experienced in my body. This is why I love doing somatic work because we can talk about exper oh, this is Saturn Aries, but when you experience it in your body, which is, you know, when I'm in sessions with people in my group programs like Creative Rewilding, which is open for enrollment, public enrollment, the waitlist uh did its thing and now we have half the seats filled.
I want to read a little bit of the Sabian symbol that this new moon is happening in, which is 28 degrees of Aries, and it's "A large disappointed audience." The theme is "Nothing lasts forever." This symbol speaks to the disillusionment that can occur when too great a dependence is placed on things external to self. The image of a large disappointed audience alludes to an expectation that wasn't met, as when something is being enjoyed ends prematurely or when something that is anticipated or expected to occur fails to materialize. This is one of the images that Mark Jones described as reverse symbolism or as carrying a negative connotation, and he commented there on the danger of an individual becoming disillusioned as a result of making the momentary mood of the masses any proper guide for the values he should pursue. In modern terms, this degree emphasizes being true to self. Your greatest advantage lies in being self-reliant and pleasing yourself. Think independently and objectively. Avoid self-pity and negative thinking. Um, you know, that's very fitting for Aries energy. Aries is very independent. It doesn't like being told what to do. It's about becoming a distinctive self.
And I also pulled the oracle card, "Conscious Connections." I don't know if you can see that. So this is kind of, I think, the crux here. How do we individuate and still remain in conscious connection? One of the things that came up for me when I I was thinking about this amulet and and feeling the grief of, you know, all of the, yeah, all of the times where I've just felt lonely in in a lot of ways, even when I have people around me, was number one, that I'm held by something bigger, and number two, like this is why art is so important to me because and creativity because it's in poetry and in books and in music that I feel the least lonely in my life. And that's not to say that conscious connection with other human beings then doesn't matter. Jupiter is in Cancer and it's really reminding us about how important it is to have our emotional needs met, and it's kind of challenging all this Aries energy that's like, "Yeah, I just I can do it on my own and I don't need anyone else." This is why self-expression in front of another person, authentic self-expression, being able to stay with that is so important. When I originally did Creative Rewilding, when I had the idea, it was just going to be about like creating and like creative inspiration and finding that in your charts and like practicing it with yourself. And then I was like, "No." Because that's hard to sometimes get into. That's difficult. But letting somebody else see us, that's where we struggle. That's where creative struggle, that's where most people struggle. I think most I think everybody is a creative. They're just not conscious of it. Or some people it's just like a non-negotiable in their life, you know, whereas other people, it's not as important. It's not as high in their values. Letting ourselves be seen in authentic self-expression is the way that we can have our sense of self and still maintain conscious connection. It's not about being independent and not needing anybody. It's about knowing that you can stay and have boundaries around yourselfhood even when other people are there. That's why a lot of us are terrified of connection, right? Is because we're we don't trust ourselves that we can remain ourselves when somebody else is there. And so we think it's easier to just disconnect, that we don't need to have people around us. In the coming years, connection will be more important than ever. Community, right? So we are just being right now, the the urge is around creating a sense of self that can rest secure in its own creative potentiality and does not need another being in order to validate it. And soon enough, once we have more security, more self-trust in that, that's when we can start catering to things outside of ourselves again.
Yeah, I just got conscious connection says there's a call for more intimacy in your immediate relationships. Sometimes it's hard to bear the differences between one another. We are not here to judge each other, just to love, to be loved, and to let go of those that cannot accept us as we open up to those who can. This oracle brings guidance for you to trust in the sanctity of the connections in your life. Know that this can happen through your willingness to express your true feelings and allow the situation to either fall apart or come together according to the greater greater workings of life. That kind of reminds me of this, you know, it's like we can only we can only control what we do. The rest is not up to us. Trust in the process that draws people in and out of your life. Resist nothing and seek wisdom in all.
That actually really beautifully goes into what I want to talk about next, which is this Saturn, uh Neptune, Mars conjunction in gate 17. Now I already did a Substack on gate 17. It's a gate of opinions. It goes from um the shadow of opinions to the gift of far-sightedness. This energy itself, we've got the messenger, the warrior, and the taskmaster all coming together in Aries. Now, Mercury and Aries is a very impulsive thinker and speaker. Mars in Aries is driven. You know, he wants to initiate. Saturn in Aries is uh is the patient grandfather trying to get you to listen, creating limitations in the idea of selfhood so that you can bring more alignment so that you can actually start creating boundaries around the sense of self. Gene Key 17, it is ruled by the right eye and the left side of the brain. So it's very, very logical and it's fundamentally about pattern expression. Actually, let's bring this uh up here.
All right. So this is the uh new moon energy. As you can see, during the new moon, Mars will be in gate 17. Saturn will be here. Mercury is at the end of 25. So he's not quite there yet. But the next day he does move into gate 17. Gate 17 sits right here in the ana. So it's trying, it's the mind trying to make sense of incoming data into like a singular or not maybe not singular, coherent uh viewpoint. The shadow of opinion in gate 17 is the compulsive need to have a take, to have an opinion, and to be right. You're probably already feeling this energy uh in your life coming through or seeing it out in the world. Everybody's trying to be like or trying to be right, trying to state their opinions, people becoming like a little bit more aggressive about their opinions. And it's really about trying to like organize reality into a framework that makes sense to you, but it goes through a particular mental filter before it gets seen to you, right? That's just how our lives work. And the gift is when the mind loosens its grip on that filter. That filter that says it needs to fit into this and I need to be right about it and starts to genuinely perceive patterns as they come up rather than try to fit it in their own framework. So the shadow of this can be very narrow-minded, and the gift of this can be much more open-minded. Still having an opinion, but doesn't need to be right.
I saw this quote the other day and I was like, "This is so true. The more that you live your beliefs, the less that you need to argue them." And it's so true because I am a very, very like convicted person, you know, moon and sad Jupiter in the first, uh sun in the 11th. I've always been very, very convicted about my beliefs and and equality and fairness and taking care of people who are the underdogs in the world. And yet I was acting in a lot of ways is in that process that was really demeaning, right? Demeaning people who didn't have the same beliefs as I did. I was harboring a lot of anger and resentment towards those people. And then I was telling, you know, I was saying, "I just want love and equality." You know, it was a very, very huge uh thing that shifted. I actually do have gate 17 in my unconscious design. This can feel like this energy with Mars Saturn. It's like April 18th to 20th, but you're probably already feeling this and it's going to be here the new moon too. It's conversations that feel like debates before they've even started. This internally can also be a really harsh inner critic that is constantly criticizing and putting that angst towards yourself. The gift here and the invitation is to really hold your opinion lightly enough to actually see what what's coming towards you. And that is a huge way, as I talked about in my Substack about this, is like this conscious connection is often impeded by this type of behavior. The need to be right, you know, the need to impose your opinions into every conversation for them to be validated externally. With Saturn here, it really is about cultivating more patience in our mental frameworks. Uh allowing the mind to reach a conclusion before saying something or letting things remain open, not needing them to be resolved, channeling that mental drive into genuine curiosity, choosing when to speak and not to speak and why are why am I speaking? What is the intention behind what I am saying? When the mind stops trying to be right, it can finally see clearly and you might perceive things that you were not able to perceive before.
Uh, I just want to read a little bit about Gene Key 3 where this new moon is at and then we'll call it a day. This is a long video and it's been a long time since I've done a really long deep dive and I just felt really called to do it today. Uh because I felt a lot of things this morning and combined with the the intensity, the urgency that I've been feeling lately and then waking up today and feeling the sense of like grief and then working through that ultimately to get to a place of feeling held and coming to peace with life and and aspects of myself that have been really painful in the past, you know, and and not trying to even fix it anymore. I don't know. I I hope that you have a similar similar journey um or one that feels meaningful to you, even if it looks different than mine.
The third gene key, uh Richard Rudd, by the way, this book is in my book list. I have a book list down below. The third shadow is "Chaos," and he calls this "Through the Eyes of a Child." This third shadow lies at the core of all our beliefs that the human individual is basically powerless in comparison to nature or the infinite. The original Chinese name for this third hexagram of the I Ching is an unusual expression that is traditionally translated as "Difficulty at the Beginning." This is a profound insight because chaos is about beginnings. What does all of this really mean and how does it affect you in your daily life? One answer lies in the polarity of the shadow, the 50th shadow of corruption. It means that you are only trapped by your own thinking. The wider you open yourself to the chasm, the more you will realize that there never was any chaos. It was all simply the difficulty at the beginning. The third gift teaches us something wonderful about synthesis, which has to do with another often overlooked human gift, the gift of play. If you truly want to see the genius of an innovation, you only have to watch a young child at play. When seen through the eyes of the third shadow, children appear to create nothing but chaos. But to the higher eyes of the third gift, a child is a living expression of genius. What a beautiful way to end it. How we began about the creative process and letting it be fun and noting that if you're not having fun, how do you make it fun?
If I had to really just say one thing here is consciously coming back to the awareness of your body and noticing when you are underactivated, when you are overactivated. Last night I really wanted to do this video. I had a really interesting day yesterday and I really want to do this video and I was like, "You know what, before I do it, let me lay down for 5 minutes and just see if this is coming from that like sympathetic overdrive or if I truly want to do this video." And I laid down for 5 minutes and I was like, "Oh my god, I am exhausted. I do not want to do this video." You know, and and how often we live our lives in that sympathetic, you know, urgent state, thinking that like, "Oh, I just need to get this thing done and have the energy for it," but our bodies are screaming. They're like, "Bro, no, I just thought there was a lion chasing you all day today because it was so stressful. So, I'm like pumping your body with all this blood and, you know, doing all these things to keep you going." And then when you slow it down and you tell your body like, "Hold on. If you didn't think that a bear was chasing me, what would you want to do right now?" And mine was like, "I want to rest." I was like, "All right, we'll do another day." So, honor that. Honor those voices. Honor those silent pauses where you come back to your body and create safety before you make a move. That's really where the wisdom is is in here. The intelligence, everything that you need. And my job is always to to lead you back there.
If you're wanting to work with these themes deeper and through the body with somatics, understanding not just what all of this things about creativity means, but what it shows up as in the body, working with that resistance, working with the fear, working with all of the things that come up when we're expressing ourselves and, you know, allowing people to see us in that expression. Creative Rewilding is going to be doing just that. Enrollment is open. Uh, I'll have the link down below. And thanks so much for being here.