Transcription
Well, this is do you struggle to connect with your inner child part one? And why is it so hard to feel connected to yourself even when you're doing the work? Why do the same feelings keep coming back no matter how much you understand them?
Because insight alone doesn't heal the part of you that still feels it. Your inner child doesn't need more thinking. It needs a relationship. And that relationship is built through how you speak to yourself. Not just when you're triggered, but every single day.
Most people only notice their inner child when something goes wrong, when they feel anxious, rejected, or overwhelmed. But by then, the child part of you is already activated and distressed. What we're aiming to do is to build a connection before those moments so that when they come, you're not meeting your inner child for the first time. You're already in a relationship with them.
So what does that actually look like? Uh in practice, it starts with something very simple but very unfamiliar. Speaking to yourself with intention. For example, in the morning, instead of going straight into your day, you pause and check in. You might say, "How are you feeling today? Not what I need to do, but how do I feel?" And then you listen, not for a perfect answer, but for a tone, a sensation, a mood. You might notice a heaviness, a tension, a quiet anxiety. That is your inner child communicating not in words but in feeling and sensation. And your role is not to fix it but to respond to it. So you might say, "I can feel that something feels a bit heavy today. I'm here with you. You don't have to go through this on your own." That's how rapport begins. Not with solutions, but with presence.
Another example, during your day, you make a mistake at work and immediately the inner critic says, "You've messed this up again. You're not good enough. You should know better." This is where the work deepens because now you have two voices. The inner critic and the inner child. The child feels the shame, the anxiety, maybe even fear. And your job is to step in as the nurturing parent. You might say, "Hold on, that's not helpful. We're allowed to make mistakes. That doesn't define who you are. and then turning toward the feeling. I can feel this is bringing up something deeper. Maybe that old feeling of not being good enough. I'm here with you." Now, here you're doing two things at once. You are pushing back on the inner critic and you're moving towards the inner child. That is the shift most people miss. They either fight the critic or they get overwhelmed by our feelings. But rarely do they hold both. And yet, that is exactly what builds trust internally.
Another practical example is in the evening taking just a few minutes to reflect on your day. Not from a performance point of view but from a relational one. You might ask when did I feel most like myself today? When did I feel small, anxious or unseen? And then speak directly to that part of you. Earlier today when that happened, I can see how that affected you. It makes sense you felt that way. This is where you start to repair what wasn't there growing up because most of us didn't have someone who noticed, named, and validated our inner world. So now you become that person for yourself.
And at times it may feel strange, even uncomfortable. The inner critic may step in and say, "Oh, this is pointless. This is silly. This isn't going to change anything." And again, this is part of the work. You acknowledge the inner critic, but you don't let it lead. You might say, "I understand why you're saying that. You're trying to keep things familiar, but we're doing something different now." And then you return your attention to your inner child, to the feeling, to the experience.
Over time, something begins to shift. The inner child starts to feel seen, to feel heard, and less alone. The emotional intensity reduces not because you're or you've suppressed it, but because you've responded to it. And the inner critic, while it may still be there, begins to lose its authority because it's no longer the only voice in your system.
What you are developing here is an internal relationship built on consistency, uh, compassion, and boundaries. You are learning to meet your unmet needs not by looking outside of yourself, but by showing up for yourself in a way that perhaps no one did before. And this is not about getting it perfect. It's about doing it consistently, regularly. A few moments in the morning, a check-in during the day, a reflection in the evening. Small, consistent acts of connection that over time create something much deeper.
Because healing isn't just understanding your past, it's changing how you relate to yourself in the present. And when you begin to do that, when you begin to speak to yourself differently, respond to yourself differently, and stand up to that inner critic, something powerful happens. You stop abandoning yourself, and that's where real change begins.
If you'd like help connecting with yourself in an authentic way, visit my website. Book a free discovery call. Let's see what's possible.