Transcription
[Music]
Since the thing about cancel culture, you don't—that's not a thing in your industry, correct? Canopy, so have you got backlash or anything for [ __ ] that you say and talk about?
I get backlash every day for everything that I say. To me, it's hilarious in my industry because backlash, like, if you don't stop no work, or backlash, please stop. You don't need to have—you don't need to be canceled by directors and porn. You just need to be canceled by the porn community because if people won't work with you, you don't have a career. If the companies will look bad for hiring you, you don't have a career.
But here's my thing. I have friends who are not in porn, that make porn on OnlyFans and make seventy, eighty thousand dollars. So what is the matter? Do you have beef with OnlyFans people?
I don't. I don't. I don't have beef with anybody who gives me money.
Um, oh, wait, you have an OnlyFans?
I do. Yeah. Oh, okay.
Um, I mean, like, the girls that just do OnlyFans. Listen, I made a funny tweet about it because, uh, it was hilarious. I do think it's ironic that all of a sudden all these girls who are better than me, all of a sudden sex work is empowering. Um, because you're broke. Okay, it's cool. I'll still support you. I'll retweet your OnlyFans. Just know that you're a hypocritical, judgmental piece of [ __ ] and we all knew that, you know, a couple years ago when we were broke, uh, and started sucking dick for money. But welcome. This is us. I'm sorry. Episode. I'm so excited. We're gonna need part two. It's one of those.
I've gotten so much hate for, like, the amount of hate for, like, being in porn or even before porn that, like, you know, from everybody on every side, especially women. These, like, "I'm better than you, I would never do that." So could you please give me some money because I'm broke? Um, no, go suck dick for it, like the rest of us. All right, that's what I'm—that's what I've been telling people. The best, like, I—I mean, I dated somebody who was like, who was like, you know, an Instagram model and talked [ __ ] about about any of my friends. Two years later, oh no. I know. And then it turns out like you had like hundreds and hundreds of nudes and [ __ ] sex tapes that were leaked out on the internet and you didn't even get paid for them. I'm like, what? I know. I'm like, I'm like, you're judging my friends. I'm like, you've had—you were a civilian and you had more sex with more people than anything my porn star friends. I'm like, I paid for it. Yeah. I know. I had a lot of doctors. Crazy to me. Yeah. It's crazy to me.
We were talking about the soap model that should be it. Shut up and go suck dick for money like the rest of us. Or the soap model. Soap or shut up. Like, I know. I'm okay with if you are too good to suck dick for money. I'm entirely okay with that. Yeah. If that's like part of your value system that you won't ever sell sex, I'm—I entirely respect that. But don't go asking people for free money if you're gonna ask for handouts but you're not willing to degrade yourself enough to, uh, do the hard work.
Well, what do you mean like handouts? Oh, you're talking about like everybody have like an OnlyFans but don't post anything for money all the time. Oh, yeah. And I give away a lot of money to random people on the internet. That's crazy because I get people. People I grew up with call, find my number and call me and ask for money. And so I got a weird call. I got a call the other day and I answered the phone. It was this guy. He was like, "Hey, is this Tommy?" I was like, "No, it's not. Who the [ __ ] is this?" He's like, "Oh, it's, uh, it's John from System of a Down." I was like, "Oh, Joe, sorry. I don't have your new number." But that's how I answer the phone when I don't know the number. I'm like, "Who the [ __ ] is this?" Now, because I've had so many people.
I can't believe you give people money. That's crazy. I mean, right, randomly sometimes. I did like when, uh, COVID started. I just do like little toys. Oh, that's cool. If you have money with groceries and sure. I think the one thing of when I started looking into, yeah, but but the thing is, 20 grand at the time total to my name. But the thing is, when I, when I look into your [ __ ], it's like I gave away five. About. I like how transparent or how you deal with fans and the things that you do where it's not like, "Hey guys, having a giveaway." Bubba, it's straight to the point. Like, "Check it out, dude. If you need [ __ ] money for groceries and you're really struggling, hit me up and I'll help you out." Right? I mean, it wasn't much. It gave me like a hundred. I'm not trying to fund somebody's life because they don't want to work for it. If you're actually struggling, a lot of people wore that first couple weeks before they're like, checks were coming out. People really were struggling, couldn't afford food. I'll help you with a hundred bucks. That should get you food for now. Yeah. Um, and I only had, like, I said, I only had 20 grand at the time. I was broke too. I'd like, you know, just porn was shut down as much as anything else. I had just paid for a bunch of [ __ ]. Um, and at that point, like, yeah, my, uh, I gave away like five grand or something for that. It was like a little thing. Um, and it's like five grand is five grand. It's not gonna change the world. Maybe it helped a couple people. I'm sure I got scammed by a bunch of people. It helps people change their lives. So you never know. Like, that's the thing. You know, I, I, you know, I, I, you never know how much just helping a person, how far that goes.
I know. I mean, all of us know because we're in recovery. Um, unless that was somebody's Anonymous, whatever. I'm in recovery. I know just how far. Yeah. My, like, number one song currently is called "Sober." Everybody knows what's going on. Um, and then as well, um, you know, as somebody I was homeless for four years, I know just how much a tiny bit of kindness can do, even if it's just to keep you from going completely off the edge for that day, for that moment, whatever that is. Um, every little bit of kindness helps. I'm not a [ __ ] philanthropist. I talk [ __ ] about people for asking for money. Um, if somebody just hits me, who could I host? Somebody like, "No." Answers always know. If I offer, you can accept. Yeah. Um, and I do offer when it's convenient for me, when I feel like it. Um, I'm not somebody who thinks that everybody deserves everything. They don't deserve free [ __ ]. Nobody deserves anything. We live in the entitlement age.
I think that the, the, the kind of co-occurring disorder of of music and porn is that because the internet has it for free, yeah, we should do it for free. Like, P—like, we have a Patreon and people sign up to the Patreon and they have access to an entire covers album and the guys in the band do like live performances on there. We've done a concert and it's just, it's 10 bucks. Put it on YouTube. And I'm like, "No, because we all have bills too." And it's like, people think that, well, this is the other thing. People just like, "You're a rock star, you're famous." I'm like, "First of all, I'm not rich." I'm like, "I pay my—I take care of my—my mother's 71 years old. I take care of her. I don't have a nice car. I don't waste money on ice. I don't do, you know, I don't do [ __ ] rich [ __ ] things, bro. And I'm from the hood and I saw what happened to all my homies when I was a kid who started selling dope and they got money and they bought a bunch of dumb [ __ ]. Yeah. And then they got stuck in a cycle. I'm like, "I don't do that." Okay. Gucci bag. Yeah. It's like, dude, it's [ __ ]. You know? So, so people, there's nothing wrong. Amanda Palmer did a TED talk about this. There's nothing wrong with asking people to pay for the work that you do, right? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. And and people, just because you're a fan of something doesn't it like entirely to it for free.
Well, people were like, "Yo, you should put all these songs on YouTube." I'm like, "Yo, you should give me your car." Yeah. Like, "Yo, let me move into your house. Actually, get out of your house. I live here now. Hear this is the music." Because that's how much money you're taking away. Like, what do you think this is?
Well, and then I, I realized too. I mean, I, I realized I looked the other day and the internet says that my net worth is, uh, five million dollars. Yeah. And I was laughing. Oh, I'm worth like, uh. Yeah. I was like, "Where did they pull that number out of?" Jesus. I've never had anywhere close. I've never had more than like 120 grand at a time ever in my life. Where do they come up?
People think they say that about you too, dude. It's hilarious. I don't. I'm not glad because you're demeaning like the actual excess that I have, which I'm very proud of. I went from [ __ ] proud of it. Out of that, I don't need to be a multi-millionaire. Um, and then it's like, did you just assume that everybody who, just because you know who they are, that they're all millionaires? And then you hate us? And that's why you think you deserve something for free from me? I struggle and work my ass off just like everybody else. It's the low self-esteem thing. It's like people, um, they need to believe that I got something handed to me because you're not successful. Yeah. Well, I don't. I mean, like, I just sat in this podcast. My friends back home are under the impression that like, yeah, that I have a [ __ ] infinity pool. And I'm like, "Dude, I'm paying for the studio." It's crazy. I've always. I don't even swim in it. I don't spend money on anything. Ramen.
All right, we're gonna get you a food, a food, a meal prep sponsor. All right, you guys paying attention? Sponsor? No, no, we got you. I'm gonna get you some good food, girl. Whatever spreads are still delicious. I make them a little more like, yeah, I make them a little bit more like that. No, we're not doing that here, girl. They're delicious. All right, I'm out here making soap. I told you we weren't gonna work again. I'm gonna [ __ ] take the reins.
So Jenna Jameson went public about being rape, condition, and trafficked in Hollywood. That was a deep cut. What is your experience with sexual assault in the industry? Being groomed? Being, you know, doing things you didn't want to do in the industry?
Not much. It happens. It didn't happen to me, uh, nor would it happen to me. I also got into the industry when I was 24 years old.
Do you think it's a thing where it's like the more naive, vulnerable you are? Like, I think the younger you are, they try to—I, I go, I'm very public about my opinion that you should not be able to do porn until you're 21, mostly for that reason. 18-year-olds, prefrontal cortexes have barely even begun, uh, developing. And to, I mean, they are more naive. They're also unable to set and maintain clear boundaries. There are exceptions, I'm sure, but not worth the multitude of girls who get taken advantage of simply because they're not equipped.
Have you turned work down due to the fact of being like, "This is creepy"?
Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, I also nobody really tries to book me for [ __ ] that I know I'm against. If I've been on sets where I almost walked out because they wanted me to put a little animal like clip in my hair. I'm not [ __ ] doing that. I said, "I'll wear the pink sparkly one." Because that is not specifically for kids. But a little clip with an animal that is—give me the pink dildo. I'm not taking one with elephants. Yeah. No, seriously. One is, is a fantasy, so it's obviously not real. I look like a 40. So that's actually a thing. There's like a, that's to make you look like a little girl. Yeah. I'm not a little girl. I'm okay with, um, I don't even know if that anymore. But at the time it was like, I'm okay with the, the, like, the weird setting with like the [ __ ] stuffed animal, the little kids room. Yeah. It's really [ __ ] creepy to me. But it's one thing to give an illusion. It's another thing to, um, to really press hard on the trying to convince people that this girl is underage. That's [ __ ] disgusting. I'm not into it. I'm not gonna support it. It's also what it's doing is, is that it's, it's also desensitizing the viewers. And also one of the main issues that that I, you know, because I, I have friends who work in the trafficking divisions in different cities and they're saying that the age of pet—of of child molesters, the offenders are getting younger. Yeah. Than they've ever seen. And it's from the overexposure to the access. And so, you know, "barely legal" is a, is a gateway to pedophilia, right? That people don't realize.
Well, it's also like, you know, there's genuine, there's actual pedophiles who are born that way, whose attractions never grow up with them. That's, I mean, it's been proven that it's a, it's in your brain. It's they're born with it. You can't help it. And then there's this, um, porn plays a huge part in this and just desensitization. People used to be able to get off about two girls making out. That's now. So now I gotta [ __ ] my stepsister. Yeah. Now, now you gotta watch a girl get gang-banged and have everybody piss on her face afterwards. And they're all related.
Well, I mean, is this, but, but my deck out like that? What the [ __ ]? The things that we have to watch to to achieve orgasms get crazier and crazier and more and more. Actually, the oldies, where is there to go? So there's genuine pedophiles and then there's people who just like things that are wrong and they've run out of other things that are wrong. Um, and and people don't explain to the average human, uh, that you can reset. That I do it to myself all the time. As soon as I start like watching [ __ ] that makes me uncomfortable. And I don't mean child porn, obviously. But like, I mean, I like, I have a sleep fetish thing. I like when any of my [ __ ] starts making me uncut. It's like, ah, this is what's a sleep fetish? We're just gonna [ __ ] breeze over with a sleep. Let me finish this information.
Okay, go ahead. It is possible to completely reset that cycle. And so what I'll do is I'll go back and jerk off to two chicks making out until it makes me come. Sometimes it takes me an hour and a [ __ ] half because I'm desensitized. Yeah. But it's because there's not enough like, right? It's worth it to me to not go that step further. And people aren't explaining this that you can reset. It doesn't have to just keep getting worse and worse and worse. Go [ __ ] jerk off to two girls making out until it works again.
I think, yeah, like, what about time off? You know what I mean? That, I mean, that will do the same thing. Um, some, there are people in the industry who believe that that like daddy-daughter [ __ ] fetish [ __ ] helps people, uh, have an outlet who do want to [ __ ] kids. I disagree. I think that, I mean, sexuality is like, I, I equate it to drug addiction. I can't do drugs on Sundays to quell my need to do drugs. That's not how it [ __ ] works. And sexuality is the same. If something is wrong, feeding the beast a little bit to keep it up, just [ __ ] a kid on a Sunday. No. And you don't jerk off to it. You don't. Little baby dolls. Like, yeah, you just can't. And that's one of those where abstinence is mandatory. You have to just be abstinent. Go to [ __ ] therapy. Learn cognitive behavioral, get cognitive behavioral therapy. Do the [ __ ] 12 steps. I don't care. It teaches people how to modify their behavior.
Wait, but if you're doing that reset for you, then why can't somebody who's attracted to that children [ __ ]? Are you saying that—
I'm saying that also. I'm saying they could put, they, they can be put into remission. I'm saying that there's two types of people who, we'll just talk about porn. There's two people types of people who watch child porn. There's actual pedophiles who have a brain disorder. Um, and they have no hope for them. No hope for them to not be pedophiles, right? There is hope for them to not hurt kids or not download child porn. Hands off. Then there's the people who just like weird [ __ ] in the wrong. Or it is the better. Those are the other people who watch teleporn. Those people can reset. Just [ __ ] watch them. You don't get to watch that. Like, for [ __ ] sake. It's not. And I think that even comes down to a regular relationship with a human. You've been with someone for so long and you're getting crazier and weirder and latex and zippers and [ __ ] ass [ __ ] and it takes kind of reset into that connection of like, "Remember when, like, we used to talk and like, yeah, making love is a might be a stretch for some. Making love is kind of the same thing. But yeah, but it's like, it's that." So they feel like, "Well, it's very rare. There is, there's a, the, the emotional intimate aspect of that is so, like, it's so, like, where is that anymore, right?" So it becomes like, when it happens, I mean, this is that's one of the components of me personally, why how I easily got into toxic relationships because that, the component of being present was enough to pull the switch. And then it's not all the other things of like, you know, does this person check out? Is this a safe person? Am I going to end up like, you know, in a wooden box somewhere in a park? You know, but I think that's very important to say about that reset because even in my own personal relationship, I've had to do that a few times where it's like, let's take a step back and like do the things that we did in the beginning that was simple. I think it's really important. And then it responds in a world in a society too where porn is free and so easily available, then [ __ ] kids can watch it. Everybody can watch it. I think it's really important information for somebody to spread awareness that you don't just have to get weirder and weirder. That is not. That all porn stars would be complete psychopaths. When I was a kid, I had a VHS thing. People have more sexual morals than regular people that I know because we, we have to be more aware of it. We have to think. It's, I think it's also two people don't understand. I, you know, I've dated. I've had five, four or five different, five porn stars. I have dated over the course of my life and it's completely there. And it's very much like being a performer on stage. The person who's performing on set is not the same human being that you are. It's a character.
And the characters shipped. Well, yeah, sometimes. But I feel like part of why my, I don't know if she goes home and just makes love. I, I mean, I do. I make love in my porn scenes. But it's like, and I feel like that's why it's subversible because I, I'm not, I'm sober for one. So and then what gets me off most is I used to call it fabricated intimacy. And that's what porn gives you. You don't have to take any of the risk of like, uh, getting to know somebody who's actually being vulnerable with them. Um, you have to be vulnerable to get into Missy. So what that is, five minutes. Yeah. It's stolen intimacy. I'm like, eye contact. I'm like, trying to pull everything I can out of a person. And I didn't have to earn it. That's that was fun for me.
You don't have to do porn to do that. Yeah. But one, I mean, the safety of the other person is important in porn. The person that I'm working with understands that this ends when this scene does. Yeah. But you can do that with a conversation. I've definitely had that scenario where it's like, you have the boyfriend experience conversation and you're like, "Look, this is, you know, it's about boundaries too, right?" You know, but I mean, I just like to be cool. This happens, just so you know. No, but you can tell people. I'm not staying. It's like, it's like, okay, recovery dating. It's like that. Um, you know, I mean, in in recovery, we're all supposed to be responsible for our own actions and not the other person's. If I'm dating somebody who has 30 days, theoretically, right? If I'm dating someone who has 30 days clean and I, I can see that all their actions are starting to mimic mine, they're changing who they are so that I'll like them. They don't, I'm not controlling them, but they're being controlled. And it's not a healthy relationship for them. It's still my responsibility to walk away.
Well, they, people can do that with five and ten years, so. But it's about the, it's a, that's why. But even still, you're saying time is not a tool, right? It's about the work. Yes.
What is the [ __ ] sleep? Oh, yeah, yeah. Limp fetish. Yeah. I like, uh, limp bodies. I like to be a limp body. It just is what it is.
Wait, you mean like, so that pretend you're sleeping in someone? Now, one of them is watching? No way. Not like sneaking into someone's house and just, oh, you're asleep there. You go. But yeah, okay. But I have, I have. Okay, there's also established consensual non-consent. Right. I've had relationships where, I mean, in every relationship I'm in, it is very understood that you're always allowed to have sex with me while I'm sleeping. That's a thing. So I've had people like drive all the way my house, like break in, right, right, right, yeah. Leave a load in me. Leave. Lock the door behind them. I'm sorry. At least they locked the door.
I keep asking. I know. It's great. It's great.