Transcription
My question is about the feelings some of us have when we believe we are ready for marriage. However, when we discuss this with our parents, we often face skepticism. For example, one might be asked, “How old are you?” In my case, I would reply, “I’m 18 years old.” The response is often a surprised, “Huh? Someone 18 years old?” While I do not face much opposition, and even receive encouragement to marry, the conversation often turns discouraging. Parents frequently tell us that we are not ready to bear such a significant responsibility.
What is Hazur’s advice on approaching this topic with parents? I have already mentioned that if you express the desire to marry, they might say, “I would be happy if you do.” The key factor is how responsible you present yourself. If your behavior demonstrates responsibility, parents will recognize that and may become more supportive of your decision. However, if you act irresponsibly, it is natural for them to believe you aren’t prepared for the challenges of marriage.
Who is ready to marry? Generally, the girl would prefer a husband who is employed and can contribute financially to the household. If you feel capable of managing these responsibilities without depending on your parents, then marrying may be suitable. In the past, boys who married at a young age often earned their own income and ran their households independently. If you find yourself in a similar position today, my advice is to marry as soon as possible, even immediately after this meeting.
However, if your financial resources are limited, and you are still studying, relying on your parents for pocket money, then the situation becomes complicated. Once you marry, your wife may also expect financial support. You cannot continue asking your father for additional funds to cover these new expenses. If you are employed, that changes everything, and I would encourage you to marry as soon as feasible after completing your studies and securing a job.
If there is a special situation that warrants your parents’ consideration, communicate that to them. If you need my recommendation to support your case, write to me, and I will personally approach your parents to assist you.