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The reflecting pool saga has legitimately gotten so unhinged today. I almost don't know where to start, but I think we could probably go with Trump's latest screed on True Social. So, here goes.
He wrote, quote, "Many additional people have been arrested having to do with the disgraceful vandalism of our beautiful reflecting pool. It hasn't looked or worked like this since 1922 when it was originally built, but even then, it leaked badly and didn't work. Ours worked perfectly, including the mirror-like finish, perfectly reflecting the two great monuments, which it never had before. What these terrible vandals have done is a true affront to both presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, and should be dealt with accordingly. We met with contractors today will probably be forced to release and drain much of the water in order to do the necessary repairs, but will have them done as quickly as possible. What they have damaged does not even include the earlier killing of a large amount of grass, which was by far the least of it. They took some form of knife or blade and put a 250 foot long gash into the beautiful facade of what took so much work, competence, and money to build and complete. They also poured corrosive and destructive chemicals into the pool. The reflecting pool was never so beautiful as it was just one week ago, even going back to 1922 when it opened. We are very proud of what we have done with this magnificent structure, and we will get it repaired quickly to an equal level of beauty. Thank you for your attention to this matter, Donald J. Trump."
Now, here's the deal. Right-wing media, including Trump, has been doing the world's most desperate defense, claiming that vandals have been destroying Donald Trump's perfect new reflecting pool. Because why else would giant shards of liner be floating up to the top? Certainly not, as one meteorologist wrote, because nobody peeled anything. An industrial coating has to fully cure before it goes back underwater. And this one was rushed into a flooded pool to hit a deadline. Submerge a film before it bonds to the substrate and water works underneath until it delaminates and lifts on its own. That doesn't sabotage its chemistry. They're now detaining people for touching material the job already failed to hold science. H yeah, I don't know about that. I mean, who are we really going to believe? A scientist or the president who claims that vandals cut a gash nearly the length of a football field in the lining of the reflecting pool that no one saw and no video exists of. Exactly. The president, thank you. What's that? Wait, I'm I'm actually getting right now word that we do have video footage of the vandals who destroyed the reflecting pool. And we have that right here.
>> I'm using this as a LinkedIn profile.
>> That's cat. And given what we know about Donald Trump's DOJ, they're going to go all in against these vandals, especially given what Janine Piro, the US attorney for Washington DC. And yes, that is unfortunately a real sentence that I just said out loud, announced today on air. These are cases that will be prosecuted to the full extent. If there are more serious products that are put into the reflecting pool to create uh more algae or uh a bigger problem, then we'll consider more serious charges. But make no mistake, making DC beautiful is a priority. And if you damage, vandalize, or do anything to impact something like the reflected pool, you can be prosecuted.
I just want you to think about what is happening here. Trump is a grifter. Found some friends who were not qualified for this job. Gave them a no-bid contract for over a million dollars. They up the reflecting pool. But because Trump can never admit fault, he's now playing make-believe that elusive vandals destroyed the pool. And now Janine Piro has to glom on and commit to the bit and threaten prosecutions for non-existent people who are vandalizing the reflecting pool. It's like bad community theater except all of the actors suck and no one actually gets paid in anything other than the selfless exercise of prostrating yourself for the god king. I'll tell you what, if they secure a conviction, I will shave my head on camera. That is how sure of the fact that this entire exercise is a scam intended to plate the emperor's fragile ego I am.
And it's not just Janine Piro. The rest of the manga ecosystem is doing their part to perpetuate Donald Trump's delusions.
>> Well, I'm not a scientist, so the algae thing, I mean, I I believe that's what happens in bodies of water such as this. So, I I don't think this is President Trump's fault. But what's so irritating to me about the left here? President Trump is trying to make DC nicer. DC is filled with Democrats. Okay? He's making it nicer because, yes, he happens to live there for the next couple of years, but you all live there all the time because DC is made up primarily of liberals and Democrats, right? He's trying to make it nicer for you. He's trying to make it safer for you. He's trying to make your reflecting pool nicer. He's trying to spruce up the place. And they go out of their way to damage and to vandalize it. It's like during the BLM summer of love when they're burning down businesses in their own community. It's like you have to be pretty stupid to do that.
>> Well, regarding the vandalism, that's absolutely true. Somebody did vandalize the grass. Even when workers were working on the reflecting pool, I think I read that people came and vandalized their trucks and their equipment. Uh, look, you have people that hate Donald Trump so much that they would go out and destroy our national monuments, vandalize Lincoln Memorial, vandalize the grass. That's how broken-rained they are. Donald Trump has cleaned up Washington. The fountains work, the city is clean, the city is safe. It's good that he has taken an interest in this. And you have these people out here who are so broken about the fact that he's the president that they're spending their time vandalizing all this stuff. I think it's terrible. And I hope anybody who vandalizes our monuments, I hope they get caught. I hope they get put in jail. He's trying to make the city beautiful for America 250. There's going to be a lot of people in Washington. They deserve to go to a clean, safe capital, and that's what he's trying to do.
>> Yes. A+ jobs. I'm sure you'll all get the little pats on the head from Daddy Trump that you are so desperate for. I mean, I'm sorry, but if Janine Pro is looking for someone actually vandalizing government property without permission, perhaps this might be a good place to start. This morning, the historic 120-year-old east wing of the White House reduced to rubble. Satellite images show the dramatic transformation from less than one month ago to now. Along with the building, at least six trees have been taken down, including two magnolias commemorated to presidents Warren Harding and Franklin Roosevelt. All to make room for President Trump's 90,000t ballroom. So, if you think that's fine, but are doing fainting spells over non-existent vandals, then it might be time to extricate your head from Donald Trump's ass.
And yet, because Trump has his air support from his little underlings, and because they've helped him sell the lie that it was obviously the left's fault that his reflecting pool grift backfired, that gave him the space he needed to be able to come out and post quote, "Work will begin immediately on fixing the seriously vandalized reflecting pool. I just inspected it and could only say to myself and those gathered around me, wow, who could do such a thing? Sick, deranged people. We will fix it, President DJT." Yes, thank God Donald Trump is stepping in and fixing the problems created by these radical Marxist communist leftists who have been vandalizing the pool. Even though again, no video evidence actually exists or has been released. Nothing that Donald Trump won't be able to solve with another no-bid contract for his pals. Hey, who knows? Maybe Don Jr. can even start a pool company this weekend and then charge the US taxpayers a billion dollars because why not?
And look, does this all matter? No, but it's actually a perfect encapsulation of how the grift, lies, and manipulation pervade the right and leave us, the American taxpayers, with the bill. Maybe one day, the Republican party more broadly, will hold Trump to the same standard they hold imaginary vandals to. But until that day arrives, they will continue to lie on behalf of the only person they actually serve. Not the American people, but Donald Trump.
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