Transcription
foreign Section 8 project housing, and we had food stamps. We're on food stamps, we're on EBT. From that stemmed a lot of trauma. And again, I was in a very abusive, um, household, right? So that allowed me to really run to the streets. It allowed me to feel like I never had a sense of direction or even just a sense of family. Right then and there, I could feel death around the corner. I felt that, you know what, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die one of these days. And what a pity to die doing 12 years in prison with this emptiness, in this void, to die with, yeah, you have money, but you don't have happiness.
So then he said something that really blew my mind. All of the things that you've been doing in your life, all the, the evil things that led you up to being empty and depressed and miserable, is normal. You are an imperfect person trying to live perfectly, and that's why you continuously fall short, and that's what's producing the emptiness inside of your heart. All right, well, Johnny, it's an honor to have you on the channel, man. We are in your state of California. Um, for the people who don't know you, who have never seen you, can you just introduce yourself very briefly, um, for everybody who's watching?
Absolutely. So, pleasure is mine to be on your platform. I'm so thankful, um, to be here by God's grace. My name is Johnny Chang. I'm actually a prison minister. When I was younger, I grew up in the San Gabriel Valley. There was, you know, drugs, gangs, and violence was very rampant in those areas, and I was a person who fell into that, unfortunately. And I walked the way of the world for a very long time. I was locked up since I was 12 all the way up to 24 years old, did 12 years essentially, um, and yeah, now, you know, I'm out here. I was saved, and I'm doing prison ministry, um, you know, counseling people who are suffering from depression, loneliness, emptiness, void. And I just want to advance the kingdom of God and evangelize people as well. Amen.
Well, Johnny, you have an incredible testimony. Um, let's start with your life before Jesus, starting with your childhood. Did you know about Jesus growing up? Was there, uh, did you grow up in a Christian home? Uh, take us through your testimony starting with your childhood.
Absolutely. So, I'm 100% Chinese. My parents are immigrants, so I was born to immigrant parents. And, uh, traditionally, we were Buddhist. My mother was Taoist Buddhist, my father was, um, I believe he was an atheist. He didn't really, you know, he just went with the functions and, and the tradition. Um, but yeah, I did know about Jesus because we grew up with a lot of Hispanics, and a lot of them were Catholics. So they did talk about Jesus Christo, and they were talking about that. I think I, I heard that before I even heard the name Jesus, actually, the Spanish interpretation of the name. Um, but yes, it was, I've heard of him, and I did understand that even though I was Buddhist, that he died for our sins. Um, and that at least from at that point, that Christmas was his birthday, and Easter was his resurrection. And that's just what, you know, I, I knew of him. That was like, to the extent.
As I grew older, I kind of strayed away from that because a lot of Christians and a lot of Catholics that I met, um, they were very, very like pushy. They would force the religion onto me and tell me things like, I need to repent, um, telling me things that I need to go, that I will go to hell if I don't stop doing the things that I'm doing. And so that really just put a bad taste in my mouth. So I was very resentful towards Christianity. And, and because of that, I actually really didn't practice much Buddhist tradition. I was just, you know, going to temple with my mom, just, you know, time to time. We would buy it, which is like pray and, and chant and things like that. But I always felt this emptiness and this void inside of my heart, no matter what I did. Because Buddhism teaches to do good. I think all religions teach to do good, but Buddhism was peculiar in one thing about karma. What you put out in the world, you, it will return unto you. So good karma, bad karma. And so I tried to do well, but I found myself being a knucklehead.
And I grew up in, in Ramona Gardens. I grew up in on the east side of L.A., San Gabriel Valley, Monterey Park, bordering East L.A. And I just had a lot of influence, like negative influence. My father was an alcoholic, my mother was submissive to him, so she would actually kind of enable him to drink, and he just beat on me. He beat on my brother. I have an older brother, beat on my older brother. And that kind of harnessed a lot of rage inside of my heart. I didn't understand why my mother was Buddhist, but my father was doing all this evil, and why things were just going his way. And it felt almost like my household was a dictatorship. Even if my father was wrong, whether he was right or wrong, he was always right, essentially. He never said I'm sorry, and he never said I love you. And this is very typical in a lot of Asian Chinese households, especially in Korean households as well. So, um, yeah, and I just felt this emptiness and this void.
So I took to the streets. And I always felt that there was some things that I was doing that I shouldn't be doing, you know? But at the same time, I, I just couldn't stop myself because if I go home, I would have to either get beat. I'd have to deal with my dad and his drunken rage, or I would have to hit the streets and just deal with getting bullied, getting picked on, gangs, and just getting robbed. So I really felt like I had to choose the lesser of two evils, if you will. And that really molded me as a person to just realize that, you know what, I'm not going to live very long. So I'm just gonna do everything that I want to do. The time that I'm here, I'm just gonna live however I want. And that's exactly what I did. And that led me to join the gang. It led me to eventually end up in prison. They call it California Youth Authority, CYA. I ended up going there, which is a child's prison. It's different from juvenile hall, it's a child's prison. And from there, I got out, caught another case, eventually ended up going to prison, prison, so the big leagues. And this was how I lived my life prior to Christianity, prior to even finding out about God or really, really even having a relationship with God.
Johnny, for, for people who don't know about this lifestyle that you're speaking about, right? Being in gangs, being Chinese, being, you know, being in California, could you paint a picture of some of the things that you were going through for the people who've never experienced that? What was happening throughout this time? In a nutshell, being in jail as a teen, being in jail as an adult, what was going on in your life?
As I had mentioned, you know, being Chinese, we weren't the stereotypical Chinese that most people see in the media portrays, you know, doctors, lawyers, and whatnot. And that goes for just all Asians in general. I grew up in Section 8, um, project housing, and we had food stamps. We're on food stamps, we're on EBT. You know, from that stemmed a lot of trauma. And again, I was in a very abusive household, right? So that allowed me to really run to the streets. It allowed me to feel like I never had a sense of direction or even just a sense of family. My father was there, but he wasn't emotionally, um, there. He wasn't even financially there. We were just really poor. And living in a poverty-stricken area like that, you see, and you look up to gang members, people who have the money, who are driving around. At that time, it's like the Fast and Furious days, you know, it's like rice rockets, and, and those were the luxury things. They had the women, they had the clothes, they had the cars, they had the money, and they had the respect. And the respect came from violence.
So from a young age, I was going through, I was, I felt like I was already kind of groomed to be very violent because of my household. So when I hit the streets, I fell into that very easily. I was volunteering to do a lot of things, whether it was robbing somebody, shooting somebody, fighting somebody, stabbing somebody, I was volunteering to do that because I wanted to unload my rage and my anger on people. And this was happening even at a very young age, from the start of like 12 years old. I joined the gang at 12 years old. I was, you know, fighting people a little older than me, fighting people my age, and I just was, you know, living that type of lifestyle. So people who don't understand the gang lifestyle, they may, you know, judge on the outward, you know, appearance. But what, what people don't understand is that we're all interconnected through some kind of struggle, and we all have to release that in our own way. Whether it's, some people utilize it for positive, you know, they can release it through working out, they can release it through stuttering, they can release. But the way I released it was, you know, through violence, and unfortunately. And that's something that I do regret always, but it's something that I, at the time, felt like was the only way I could actually release all of that trauma and anger and pent-up rage inside of my heart.
Yeah, what was your, your mom's input into all of this? Was she saying anything? We're, we obviously know where your dad was, right? Um, were you hearing from her at all?
Yeah, I mean, she would, you know, I understand my mom. For a very long time, I resented her because I felt like the right thing to do was for her to put her foot down, you know, I'm her kid, you know? And, but in the Asian culture, especially in Chinese culture, what the man says goes. So my mother was torn. She had to choose between her, her husband, who she has to submit to, who she has to go under, who she essentially allows to wear the pants, right? And then she had to choose between her kids, who she loves. So it was very, very traditional like that. And my mom was actually just, she had seen that it's a generational thing. She had seen her mom doing that, she had seen her mom's mom doing that. So of course, that was normal for them. And this is what a lot of people don't understand. Being Chinese, being Asian, we deal with a lot of that, and we're told not to share, meaning not to say anything because if you put your business out there, it's very looked down upon. You know, if your son is gay, if your son is, you're not supposed to speak about any of those things. If you're struggling financially, you're not supposed to ask anybody for help. Um, if, if we also come from, you know, a communist regime, right, in China, it's still to this day communism, but we didn't trust in police, we didn't trust anybody. So there's a lot of distrust weaved inside of our culture. So even when cops would come, we don't trust the police. So that's why a lot of, you know, Chinese till this day will get robbed and not say anything, won't make a report, they'll just, they'll just eat it and they'll just take it. And that's really part of our culture.
Wow. So Johnny, tell us how Jesus came into the picture. You had heard of him from our Spanish brothers and sisters out there, you know, shout out to them, but you had to encounter him for yourself. Absolutely. So tell us about that. How did Jesus encounter you and where you were?
So when I was in prison, as I had mentioned, I went through this period of emptiness and void. I would wake up every day and I would feel this pressure in my chest. I couldn't even like inhale, you know, I was just like, like I couldn't do that. I just felt this pressure. It was as if somebody was stepping on my chest 24/7, the whole time. And I just wanted to die, honestly. I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I felt like I was just existing. And so, um, at that time, I was, I was, I had a cellmate who was a Korean cellmate, and he was a PK, which is a pastor's kid. And, you know, he was in there for a pretty long time. He was a lifer, but he had murdered somebody. He had turned to the streets as well. And, and he started to read the Bible in there. So he kind of suggested to me, like, hey, Johnny, you know, you should read the Bible. And as I'm like, I don't, I don't read. You know, I have like an eighth grade education, you know, I'm not really good at any of that stuff. And this King James version with all these dolls arts and stuff like that, I didn't understand. He goes, it's okay. So he actually, actually read it with him, and we, we kind of kept each other accountable, and we read the Bible front to back two times in prison.
But again, as I was doing that, I, I still had a lot of questions that when I would ask him, he couldn't answer, you know. And, like, for example, like, you know, I understood the, the idea of repentance, but I asked him a question, well, what if I'm about to die and I forget to repent for something, then will I go to hell? And, you know, what he told me was, yeah, you will. If you leave, if you die in your sin, you will go to hell, right? So I was like, oh, but what if I forget? And this and that. So it was just a lot of back and forth. Birthday was really unclear, and that kind of shook me a little bit. And we had chaplains there, we had, you know, people who were Presbyterian or Apostolic who would come in the church and kind of evangelize to us. But even them, they didn't, they couldn't answer questions. It was as if I felt so condemned with them because all I would hear was, repent, otherwise you'll go to hell, right? So from then on, again, I kind of closed off to Christianity again, and I was like, okay, well, let's try this. So I, I actually ended up doing like Islam. I had a, a cellmate when I moved to different, you know, different prisons. I, I set up with a Muslim, and the same with him. I actually read the Quran too, front to back three times. And again, there was a lot of questions I didn't understand it, but he couldn't answer them. So I put the religion thing on, on hold for a little bit.
I ended up getting out of prison, and I assumed that was empty, void, and lonely because, and depressed because I was in prison. But the crazy thing was, when I got out, I actually felt the same thing. And I'm like, okay, well, I have freedom now. I got a little bit of money in my pockets. Why am I still feeling this way? And nobody could explain that. And mind you, at this time, you know, I was, you know, I'm not proud of it, but I was selling drugs, and I was making 30 to 40 thousand dollars a month, um, consistently. And I thought, hey, you know, I was going to Vegas, I was just, just doing things, and I thought that that would make me happy. You know, I'm a kid from the projects growing up and thinking like, if I make money, I'll be happy. But actually, during that time, I tried to commit suicide three times. You know, I was making that much money, and it really felt miserable because I couldn't die because I was empty and void and depressed. And, and I'm sorry, I was scared of death. I couldn't die because I was afraid of death. I didn't know where I was going to go. I didn't know if I would go to hell. I didn't know if I'll go to heaven. So I was unsure. But I also couldn't live because I was depressed, I was voided, I was empty. So I couldn't die, I couldn't live. I felt like, truly, that was misery, and I was just existing. I was going day to day, feeling this pressure and sadness.
So when that happened, you know, my mom had told me, Johnny, you should come to church. You know, I found a church. And I'm like, Mom, you're crazy. First off, you know, you're Buddhist your whole life, devout Buddhist, chanting, you know, going to the monastery, the monks, etcetera, etcetera. And now you're telling me about this Jesus, about this God? Like, I, I don't understand, you know? And she says, well, if you want to come, just come to the church. And I kind of just zoned her out. I'm like, Mom, I'm not, I'm Buddhist, you know, I'm Chinese, like, we don't, we don't even do that. I don't know any of my friends at that time, none of my friends were Christian who were Asian. So, um, I wrote that off. But a series of events actually happened during that time. So the first thing that happened was my friend had gotten murdered right in front of me. I, I was actually supposed to die that day. You know, we had planned to rob a drug dealer, and the plan was, he was going to go to the passenger side, and I was supposed to go to, I'm sorry, he was supposed to go to the driver's side, and I was supposed to go to the passenger side. But when I stepped to go to the right, he stepped in front of me. So naturally, I went to the left. When I went to the left, my, three gunshots ring out, and I assumed my friend was shooting him, but actually my friend was the one who got shot. The car sped off, shot at us, this and that. And I see my friend dying there. I remember the sounds, the gargling, the, the tensing of every muscle, the, just everything, you know, happening right before my eyes. And so that happened.
And then after that, I get a message, a letter, we call it a kite, right? From a friend of mine who's in, in prison, and he's, he's basically saying things like, hey man, thank you for being a good friend. I'll see you on the other side, type of things, like very in code. But essentially, what he was saying was, he, he was gonna kill himself. And three days later, he did indeed kill himself, he committed suicide. And then after that, there was a freeway shooting, a car to car shooting. And this kid was innocent, not a gang member. Um, he was, he was, you know, I think he wanted to be a CPA. He just, he was a good kid, you know, he was working at Taco Bell at the time, but he was just trying to like, pay off his, go to school and all that. He ends up just going out one time partying with a friend of mine, he gets shot in the head. And my other friend as well. So this was all within a span of about a week and a half. And happened.
So right then and there, I could feel death around the corner. I felt that, you know what, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die one of these days. And what a pity to die doing 12 years in prison, to die with this emptiness, in this void, to die with, yeah, you have money, but you don't have happiness. You know, how sad would that be? But yeah, but during that time, my mom actually, her car miraculously broke down, you know, she's a translator and also a deacon in the church. So she was like, hey, Johnny, I have a lot on my plate. I need you to come pick me up at this time. My brother was already locked up in prison doing his stretch. I had just gotten out, essentially. So I'm like, okay, the least I could do is bring my mom to church. But as I'm driving with my mom, I'm telling her, Mom, I do not want to go to church. I do not want to talk to the pastor because I know what they're about. They're gonna evangelize me 100%. So she goes, no, no, it's not a problem. She's like, you know, texting and she's getting everything gathered, you know. And so I could see my mom didn't have any like ulterior motives, you know, she was like, just, just dropped me off, I need to like serve the Lord, right?
So when I get there, smell like, like, you know, we roll the windows down and about to pull off, and I smell these black bean noodles. We call it jajangmyeon, right? In, in Korean, and it's basically like these, these noodles that are my favorite, like it's like a delicacy for me, right? And I would think about it all the time I was in prison, like, man, if I just get home, get some black bean noodles, that'll like set me off, you know? So, um, but anyway, we get there, I smell it, you know, but Pastor comes out and he goes, hey, Johnny, um, good to meet you. Thank you for bringing your mom. I'm so sorry, I apologize that the church is so busy, you know, you have to waste your gas and come out. And I was like, oh, this guy's really cool, you know, he seems like a very chilled, down-to-earth person. And he goes, you know, we, we have black bean noodles. And I'm like, yeah, I can smell it. It goes, um, I can package it for you and you can take some on your way. And that, I also felt was kind of like different. And I was like, well, he doesn't even want me to come in, like, what the heck? I can't just be like, yeah, yeah, shoot that, man, I'm gonna head out, like, no. In our culture, it's all about respect. So there's hospitality. So I'm like, you know, the least I can do is come in and pay my respects and be like, thank you, you know, oh, that's a cool church, this and that, and then bounce if I want to, right? So I'm like, no, you know what, matter of fact, I'll go in. And my mom was like, what the heck, like, okay, cool, you know? So we parked the car, I go, and I'm eating, and I'm eating, and I finish the bowl, right? And he goes, Johnny, you know, how was the food? I was like, oh, it's great. And he goes, do you know anything about God? Like, honestly, do you know anything about God? And I'm like, yeah, but I'm Buddhist, you know? Right there, I put my foot down. I'm Buddhist. I don't believe in God, but, you know, I appreciate the food. And he goes, no worries. Um, but I want to ask you one thing, you know, what do you think sin is? And are you a sinner? And then that kind of got me a little hot, you know, I felt like that was a loaded question. But the way he asked it wasn't like, are you a sinner? You need to repent. It was more like he genuinely wanted to know what I knew about sin. And so when he asked me, you know, what do you know about sin and, and are you a sinner, uh, what I said was, yes, I'm a sinner. And sin is just doing evil things, lying, cheating, stealing, murder, all that stuff is sin. And what blew my mind was he said, not so. And I was like, what? I remember vividly him saying those words, like, not so. That's not it. And I'm like, okay, right there, it captivated me. By what is sin then? And he goes, do you know what sin is? And then he proceeded to show Bible verses on what exactly sin was. John chapter 16, verse 9, he talked about it, which was of sin because they believed not unto me, King James version. So what is sin? Not believing in Jesus Christ, simply put. He said, um, if you don't believe in Jesus, then can you follow him? I was like, of course not. If Jesus says go to the right, and you say, no, I'm going to go to the left, right? Then and there, that's where the sin starts, right? Once you go to the left, you're going to start doing everything you feel, and you start to stand in the position of God. And that's why you felt empty. And when he said that, it blew my mind because I thought I was the only person that felt empty. I felt like everyone around me was happy, and I felt like no one understood my up and down lifestyle, happy when I'm happy, sad when I'm sad, depressed and lonely. I felt like no one felt that but me. So he started to explain that, and he talked about a lot of these verses, which I kind of want to get into.
But yeah, go for it. Go for it. Yeah, I mean, this is a fascinating conversation from a man who didn't want anything to do with the church, now you're sitting and you're hearing the gospel. So yeah, so what did he, he say from there?
So from there, he talked about, okay, so now that we've accurately defined what sin is, which is essentially, um, putting your thoughts above the word of God, right? Word of God says do this, you think, no, I don't think so. God says he created, you know, the world in however many days, you're like, no, I don't think so. And then you'll start to just push your narrative, you start to follow yourself, right? So unbelief is not just believing that God exists. He said, it's actually accepting what he says as the truth. And that's something he said that probably you've never done, right? So he says, um, a lot of people are, are, they trust in themselves. He says, so, you know, I want you to understand, like, what the world teaches us is different than what the Bible teaches. I said, okay. He says, have you ever heard of, um, you know, follow your heart and trust your thoughts, believe in yourself? I said, absolutely. That's what I try to live by my whole life. And he goes, right, do you know that that's actually directly goes against the word of God? And I said, really? So if I don't trust in myself, who am I supposed to trust in? And he goes, good question. Let's look at what your thoughts say, okay? Let's look at what the Bible says about your thoughts. So he went into Genesis chapter 6, verse 5, says, and God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. So he broke it down for me. He said, all of your thoughts, it says every, meaning all your thoughts, your imagination, and the heart, right? Is only evil. So if something is only evil, it means there's no good in it. It's just that, right? And I'm like, okay. And he goes, but let me ask you something, Johnny. You have a thought that you love your homies? And I said, absolutely. You have a thought that you'll die for your homies? That's very honorary. Would you say like, that's an honorable thing? And I said, absolutely. You know, who would lay down their life for somebody else? Like, to me, that's all, like, how you see it is very, it's very honorable. But if you read the first three words of this, this verse, what does it say? And God saw. So right then, he asked me, what God sees versus what you see, is it the same or is it different? I said, it's completely different, right? God is saying all of your thoughts are evil. All of your thoughts are, you know, your heart is evil. Why? He's like, why do you think that is? So he pushed me to Romans chapter 7, verse 15, right? So let me actually read it like clearly from King James.
Yeah, go for it. So Romans chapter 7, verse 15 says, for that which I do, I allow not, for what I would, that do I not, but what I hate, that I do. So he's saying here that for the things that you want to do, you don't do, right? Did you, he said, did you want to shoot at people? Did you want to be in depression? Did you want to be lonely? Did you want to end up in heaven and I was like, in prison? And I said, no, of course not. He said, but why did you end up there, right? Why is it that you don't want to be depressed, but you feel depressed all the time? You don't want to be lonely, you hate loneliness, you hate emptiness, you hate void, but why are you still feeling that, you know? And I'm like, I don't know. He's like, it's in the Bible, right? And he reads two, two verses after that, which is Romans chapter 7, verse 17. Now then, it is no more I that do it, but the sin that dwells in me. So he asked me, Johnny, what is making you empty? Is it you, Johnny Chang, and your decisions? No, it's the sin inside of you, right? So he starts to break it down, and I'm like, okay, that makes sense, right? And he says, it, it reiterates this two times, in 19, verse 19 and 20, it says literally the same thing, right? Verse 20 says, now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwells in me. So right there, he was able to put it into a perspective that you're doing things that you don't want to do, and that means it's not you who's doing it, because if you did the things you wanted to do, like for example, eating steak and lobster, you will not regret that. But why is it that when you do meth, or you do a line of cocaine, or you do, you sip on lean, why is that afterwards, on the come down, you start to feel and regret why? It's because it's not you who's doing it, it's sin that's dragging you to do it. And so when I, I never understood sin like that, right? And then he started to explain, do you know that you were born as a sinner? And I said, what? No way. There's no way. There's no way. You look at a baby, it's super cute, like, no way. I wasn't always like this. There were external things that influenced me. And he said, that is partially true. But what the Bible says is very, very accurate, right? So he told me in Romans chapter 5, verse 12, through one man, sin entered the world, and death, and for that, right, all have sinned. That's what it says. So one man, he said, do you know who this one man is? I'm like, no. He goes, it's Adam and Eve. And I go, oh, Adam and Eve. How do you have a whole generation come out from two people? It doesn't make sense to me, right? And he goes, right, so let me explain to you. The further back you go on your generations, for example, is there less human beings or more human beings? And I'm like, oh, there's less. The more, you know, time progresses, of course, people are going to have more kids. But prior to that, it does chip all the way down to essentially two people, right? So he kind of explained it in a logical sense. And then he said, um, if you look at an apple, for for example, right? Look at an apple seed, right? If you see the seed, where are the apples? He said, I'm like, um, I don't know. You know? And he goes, but if you plant that seed, water it, as it grows, what kind of fruits is it going to produce? Only apples, right? Likewise, you talked about the baby, you said, when you look at a baby, where is the sin? There's no sin. But as it grows, as it matures, what happens? What comes out of it? Lying, cheating, manipulating, stealing, even murder, sins start to come out of him, right? And I said, that's true. He said, you're Chinese, you didn't choose to be Chinese, right? I said, yeah. You were born that way. It was inherited to you. Your father was Chinese, his father was Chinese, right? Etcetera, etcetera. So same thing, Adam sinned, he begat this person, that person, so on and so forth, and it was passed down through the seed to you. And I said, oh.
So then he said something that really blew my mind. All of the things that you've been doing in your life, all the, the evil things that led you up to being empty and depressed and miserable, is normal. And when I heard that, all my life I was told I wasn't normal. I was abnormal. I was bipolar, people would say I had OCD, people would say that I was schizophrenic, all this crazy stuff, right? But what he was telling me for the first time was, you're normal because the sin is causing you to do that. It's not you. And so, so right then and there, he said, then what needs to happen? The sin has to be taken care of, right? Because the sin is causing you to do it. So once you get rid of the sin, it's like cancer, he explained it, right? It's like a virus. He said, let's say, like, you know, um, he said, you get a cold, like the flu, common cold, let's say, um, you have runny nose, fever, sore throat. If you just take medicine to take care of the symptoms, will that then get rid of the virus? And I said, no. And he says, likewise, you were a person who, when you were angry, you tried to control your anger, right? Because I told him, I was in anger management, I went to counseling in prison, passed with flying colors, and still felt empty, right? So he told me, people who think that, you know, they're lustful, oh, I'll just stop watching porn, I'll stop trying to lust, or I'll bounce with the eyes. He said, but they don't realize that that is just the symptom of sin. Where does the lust come from? It comes from sin. So people are trying to put a Band-Aid over this huge gas, right? This wound. So God is saying, you know, he was saying that God wants you to understand, first off, that sin is unbelief, meaning you don't believe in God, right? And that in itself starts to lead to all these other things, fornication, lust, murder, envy, jealousy, all that. So when he put it in that perspective for me, I was able to see, oh, okay, so we're born as sinners, all of our thoughts are evil. Jeremiah 17, verse 9, talks about our heart. The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it? He started to explain that part. So now he's got about our heart, which is what is our heart? He says, it's deceitful above all things. So deceitful means it's the biggest liar, right? And it says above all things, meaning it's the biggest liar, right? And then it says, I'm desperately wicked, and then he says, who can know it? When someone says, who knows, what does that mean? Nobody knows. Nobody thinks that their heart is deceitful above all things, desperately wicked, and all that, right? He says, that's why people follow their heart. But Johnny, what I want you to understand is when you follow your heart and you do whatever you think and seems fit, this is the result and the byproduct of why you live your life in emptiness. You are an imperfect person trying to live perfectly, and that's why you continuously fall short, and that's what's producing the emptiness inside of your heart.
At that time, I felt an inkling of hope inside of my heart because no one had ever explained this to me. Have never explained to me that I was essentially missing the whole point and like self-medicating and all that was in vain. If, like he put it, he gave me the anecdote basically. And he said, he proceeds to then talk about Jesus Christ. Do you know who Jesus is? I said, of course, he's the guy who hangs on the cross. And do you know what he did though? And I said, oh yeah, he died for our sins, right? And he said, exactly. But he died for all of your sins. Do you know that? And I'm like, all of my sins? So past and present? I get it. But what about future? Don't I have to follow him? And he goes, no, future sins as well. And I said, show me, show me like where it says in the Bible, right? So he talks about in John chapter 1, verse 29, right? It states that, um, you know, behold the Lamb of God which takes away the sin of the world. So he asked me, where are your sins, Johnny? Are they in the, do you sin in heaven? Do you sin even in hell? Like all your sins are in the world, right? And I said, right. So if God says he took away your sins of the world, right? And the world is still running, it's still alive, then that means he took the sins from the first man who was in this world to the last man who is in this world. We don't know who the last man is, right? And he's like, so he's actually taking care of all of your sins, past, present, and future, right? So when I kind of thought about that, I was able to feel that, oh, that's what Jesus did. That's why people are so like happy about him, is because he literally has perfected us. And then he proceeds to talk about what the wages of sin is, right? Romans chapter 6, verse 23, talks about, for the wages of sin is death. But he says this word, but, is so amazing, you know, it flips everything upside down, right? But he says, but the, the gift of God is eternal life. He was saying, it's a gift. Do you work for your gifts? Like, if someone, if, if it's your birthday, do you work and, and someone gives you a gift? No, the gift is whether you work for it or not. If it hits your birthday, you'll receive it, right? I was like, that's true. So it is by grace, he says, that God has given this to all people. The problem is, however, people don't believe this. Why? Because when you look at yourself, Johnny, you're probably still carrying a gun, which he was completely right. You're probably still doing drugs, absolutely. So when you look at yourself, your thoughts and your heart tell you that you're a sinner. No matter what, you sin, you're carrying a gun, you're lusting, you're doing this, you're doing that. But what does the word of God say again about all of our thoughts? And right there, it hit me. Oh, this is what it is, right? Genesis 6:5, all of your thoughts are what? Only evil continually. Why? Because they always go against the word of God, right? So he explained that to me. And he said, you have a choice to make. Are you going to trust Hebrews chapter 10, verse 10, 14, and 17, which says, for Hebrews 10:14 says, for by one offering, he hath perfected forever them that are sanctified. So when we broke this verse down to me, he said, one offering, who is this one offering? It says, it's Jesus Christ, right? And then he says, perfected is in what tense? It's in past tense, meaning already completed, already done. And he says, forever, which means eternally. So Jesus Christ, he died on the cross, people know this, he didn't fail, they know that, they know after three days, he rose, and he justified people, they know this. But when they look at themselves and they see their image, right? Their thoughts tell them that they're sinners, which is their thoughts. And then he says, then there's the word of God that says they're perfected forever by faith. He says, it, we have to accept the word of God exactly as it is. But problem is, what is sin? He says, unbelief. So they don't believe. No, yeah, I know he perfected me, but I still have to do something about that, right? I still have to, you know, live Christ-like, and I gotta love my neighbor as myself, and I gotta. He started explaining this to me. He said, but that in itself, doing good deeds, he said, I'm not saying sin however you want. I'm not saying carry a gun and shoot people and say that you're righteous. What I'm saying is, doing good deeds and faith are two different things. Faith, it says in the Bible, without faith, it is impossible to please God. What kind of faith is he talking about? Believing and saying, amen, God, although I feel like I'm a sinner, if you say that I'm righteous and perfected forever through your son, and that he didn't fail on the cross, he washed all of my sins, past, present, and future, then amen. I'm gonna throw away what I feel, what I think, and I'm going to believe your word above my thoughts. And when he put it in perspective, he asked me, Johnny, on God's side, then you believe Jesus died? You believe he's, he washed all of your sins? You see what sin truly is? On God's side, are you perfect? Are you righteous? And right then, I said, yes, I'm perfect. I'm righteous. He said, amen. Why? Not because you did anything well, but it was all and by faith and by God alone, by Jesus alone. So when I met, that was the first time I met Jesus, right? I felt that, oh, knowing Jesus, like understanding knowledge theoretically who he was versus actually connecting to him and accepting him into my heart, that's what changed my life that day. It changed my life.
Johnny, now if you could take us into your mind, though, because this is a lot of information, and it's a lot of good news, right? Like, and also, are people still at the table? Like, this is all happening in the, on the table? It was a full hour and a half to our fellowship. Wow. I was just sitting there captivated. Yeah. So as, as once he shares this with you, you obviously said you felt a little bit of hope, right? Like you, you were seeing that light. Yes. But if you could maybe give us a little bit of more words of what was going through your mind, like what was going through your body as you're hearing this and it's making sense?
There was, uh, well, the hope was like, it was big, but there was also a different force telling me that, don't listen to this. Um, you know, you perfect, Johnny, come on now. You know, the pastor may not know what you did, but you know what you did. You know what you did. You know? And there was a fight, a big tug of war inside of my heart and inside of my mind. One side was telling me, you're not righteous. You cannot. Is it that simple? Just to accept the word and say you're righteous? And then like, all the sins are forgiven? Really? People would live like animals then, right? Isn't that what it is? So right then and there, I was like, okay, so these are my thoughts. I don't know anything about the word of God, but I'm trying to fight a pastor who's devoted his whole life to the word of God. It's probably smarter to probably accept what he says, but ask him questions. So I started to kind of like dig my heels into the ground and ask him questions. So I said, you know, so if I'm righteous and I go out and I kill somebody, like those mafia movies, and they just confess, does that mean that my sin will still be forgiven? And he smiled and he goes, Johnny, think about it, right? Think about it. He says, I'm married, Pastor said, right? But before I wasn't always married. You said, okay. And he goes, before I was married, if I seen a beautiful woman on the streets, I can go up to her, I can talk to her, we can date, etcetera, etcetera. He says, but now that I'm married, can I then, even if I do see a beautiful woman, can I then go up to her and be like, hey, no, I will think about my wife's heart. I will think about our relationship. I will think for my wife, and that alone will stop me because I don't want to cheat, right? So he says, likewise, when you receive salvation, think about it, Johnny, you're, your life was damned to hell, essentially. You were, you were basically walking the path of destruction, eternal destruction, which is hell. But you feel this happiness, this, you know, this hopefulness because God has saved you, right? From your sins and from hellfire. He said, will you then go and disrespect him and slap him in the face and just do whatever you want?
That relationship, right? Is what's going to stop you. And yes, you're a baby now. You may sin, and he told me, you will sin until you die, because flesh is flesh. He said, but the amazing thing is, as you grow with God, God is going to cultivate you. God is going to cut out the things that he sees fit, and or he sees unfit in your life, right?
So from then, I was able to find that peace. Like, hey, you know, the way that the pastor is saying is, it's true. And that voice that was really loud, "What you're saying, he doesn't know what he's talking about. This sounds crazy. You know, you're not righteous. You remember your sins. You know, you shouldn't um follow this person. You should leave." There was something that kept telling me to just leave. Like, leave, get out of here, you know? But when I stayed, I was able to see that, like, the true gospel was being planted inside of my heart. He didn't say anything about me quitting drugs, quitting, you know, my my gang, or leaving my lifestyle. He didn't say anything about that. What I noticed he was doing was planting hope inside of my heart. And that was casting out things. I didn't want to carry my gun anymore. I started feeling, at that time, I didn't know, but I started feeling conviction in my heart. Like, man, if Jesus did all this for a like a swine like me, an evil person like me, why would I disrespect him? You know, I'm from a gang life, gang culture. It's all about respect. So why would I go on disrespecting Jesus, you know what I mean? If he did all of this stuff for me? And I started to feel that inside of my heart. And little by little, it was weeding out.
And then I asked him another question. I said, you know, I remember my sins. So what do we do about that? And then he showed me Hebrews 10:17. "And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more." So he asked me, "Johnny, you remember your sins, but that doesn't matter." He said, "I said, why? Why is that?" He said, "Because God Almighty is saying, your sins, your iniquities, he doesn't remember anymore." So let me ask you something. He said, "Johnny, do you think that God is a liar? Can he lie?" And I said, "No, of course not. He's God. That's what makes him different than man. He cannot lie, right?" And he goes, "Amen." So if God says, "I don't remember Johnny's sins, any of his sins, all of his sins, he has forgotten." Can he then go, "Well, in 2007, you did a shooting, and you did this, that, and another. You have to pay for that?" No, he can't.
And then from that, I was able to see, like, wow. The more I was asking him questions, the more he was fighting it with the word of God, planting hope, which is the word of God, inside of my heart. And it was making me just feel like more relief. Every time he was dropping a bar or a gem, I was just like, "Oh, I'm getting it. Why don't they teach this?" Like, that was that was my heart. Like, why don't they teach this to people? Because I know a lot of people who are suffering from this, this their sin, and their emptiness, and their void. And I realized right then and there that I'm not the only one. My homies are going through this too. They also, when they get drunk, start talking about, "I feel depressed." A room of a hundred of us, and they feel empty. How is that part? They feel lonely. Why? Because it's a spiritual thing.
And I started to realize that, um, Johnny, after you had this, this moment, and, um, and if there is more that you want to share from that moment, then, then feel free to do that as well. Um, but I want to start to, uh, if you could give us a little bit of insight of what it looked like after this conversation, going back into the world, right? You obviously have the gospel, you have hope. Yes, but there's still a gang. And from what we know, right, that's not an easy lifestyle to just let go.
Absolutely not. Um, and so was there anything else that he said in that conversation that impacted you? And then how did you continue on to now let go of that old, uh, Johnny?
So I had questions like that too. I said, you know, Pastor, you're not from a gang. Um, but now that I'm doing this, I'm having a dilemma. You know, this is not just my gang, this is my family. My brother is from there, some of my cousins are from there, their brothers are from there too. We're like, literally a family, right? Um, how do I walk away from this?
The Pastor said, "You, you think about it, Johnny. You know, does God want you to be in the gang? No. Are you capable of, you know, walking away from that lifestyle? Probably not, at least not immediately. But do you think God is capable of protecting you through all of this?" And I thought about it. "Yes." He said, "That's where you have to focus on."
"What I'm saying is, your friends also need to receive this, this precious news."
"Oh, yeah. Well, Pastor, I don't know how to preach. I'm, this is my first day."
"No, I'm not telling you to preach, Johnny. What I'm telling you is, live happily. Live with hope inside of your heart, because God will establish you as a pillar." That's what he said. "For people to connect, you to connect to you, right?"
So he said, "When you go around your friends, maybe don't go to the clubs with them and stuff if you can. But always talk about the happiness that you're feeling." So at first, I was talking about happiness, and they were looking at me like I was weird. The first thing was, you know, especially when I said, "Hey guys, you know, I'm righteous." They were like, they laughed. "Johnny, if you're righteous, we're righteous too, because you're like, one of the worst ones out of the bunch, right?"
But little by little, all I did was just share my testimony. "Hey, have you guys ever felt empty? Like, yo, I feel this emptiness. What do you guys feel?" And that opened up the conversation, right? Some of my friends are like, "Yo, you're being weird, bro." And I'm like, "Okay." I just backed off because my focus was God. "You care about my homies more than me? You love them more than me? You will take care of it. It's your responsibility." And really, the pastor placed that inside of my mind, you know? And he was like, "You're, you have to understand, Johnny, like, you're just a messenger. So when you go and you just talk about happiness, you'll be gaining the hearts of people. Don't push religion on them. Don't even preach about that. Don't even talk about Jesus."
I was like, "What?" You know? And then that's when he gave me my first task with my father. He was like, "How is your relationship with your father?" And I'm like, "It's horrible." And I'm like, "Why is he asking me this?" You know? And sure enough, he said, "You know, after reading this scripture, though, after realizing then, was it your father who was drinking and hurting you?" And right there, I was like, "Oh, man." He said, "Think about it, Johnny. Your thoughts, they're constantly changing, right? One minute you're happy, next minute you're sad. If something is constantly changing, if a person says one thing, does another thing, right? What do you call that person?" I was like, "Unstable. A liar." He said, "Exactly. A liar." So your thoughts lie to you every single day. Should you trust what you think about your father, which is, "I hate him. I I want him to die." This and that? Or should you trust the word of God that never changes? If a person never changes, he's the same today and 60 years from now, he's still saying the same thing. That is a trustworthy person. He said, "So the word of God never changes, Johnny. What it's saying is, your father, it was not your father who did that. It was the sin inside of him. Just like you robbing innocent people, you, you know, hurting people and feeling guilty after you, not wanting depression and loneliness and emptiness. It wasn't you. It was the sin inside of you."
So what I want you to do, then, is personally, he said, is to talk to your father. Be nice to him. But if you can, I would say, apologize to your father. And right there, I got angry. "Apologize? I'm the victim. I've gotten beaten all my life, and I was forced out of the home to basically to the streets where I ended up going to prison. This was a man who was responsible for me, like, cultivating me into a monster, basically. And I have to say sorry to him?"
And then he was like, "You're right, Johnny. You're right. But because of your self-righteousness, you're miserable. Don't you go out and be honest? You know, don't you go out and, you know, see people in the streets and who have fathers who are so lovey-dovey with them? Don't you feel that emptiness and that rage inside of you?" And I'm like, "I do. I do feel that." He says, "So what I want you to understand is, when two people are right, why do two people argue?" He says, "Because both parties are right." "Why do two countries go to war?" Because one country stands for their belief, and another country stands for their belief, right? And he says, "So when there's war, can there be peace?" Cities are broken, families are torn apart, right? He says, "There is no peace." So with huge money, you know, just be wrong. And I believe by faith, God will bestow his grace upon you and your father. No one has ever failed following the word of God. That's what he told me.
So right then, I was like, "Okay." So I meet up with my father. We go and eat some Vietnamese food, Vietnamese soup, it's pho, right? And, um, it's awkward. I'm standing in front of him. I'm just like, "Why am I here? Why am I again?" Those thoughts come. "Why are you here? You need to leave. You, this is embarrassing. What if he says no? What if he says, 'Yeah, that's right, you should be sorry. I was a good father.' That you guys might fight? You might end up killing him?" All these thoughts are rushing through my mind. But I remember at that time, Pastor was telling me that, "Follow his, the word of God, right? And remember, your thoughts are what only evil." So I'm not going to follow that. I'm going to follow the word of God.
So I sat there and I said, "Dad, truly, Father, I'm sorry. You know, I'm sorry for being a bad son. I'm sorry that I was a gang member and I brought shame to the family, because that's a big thing in Chinese culture. I'm sorry that I didn't understand that you came to America with a hundred dollars in your pocket and you just like had to fend for yourself. I'm sorry that I didn't live up to that standard that you had. You came for the American dream. I was the American nightmare, right?"
And right then and there, my dad looks at me, and he starts crying, bawling uncontrollably. And every time I think about it, I get emotional. But when I think about that, you know, I could see that something hit him differently. And right then and there, my father said, "No, son, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't understand the culture. I'm sorry that I couldn't control my drinking, and and because of that, you, your mom, and your brother had to suffer. I'm so sorry about that." He said, you know, "And I really tried to be a better dad, but there was just something that kept pulling me back to the alcohol." And when I heard that, you know, we cried, and we hugged it out. And it felt like that 20-some odd years of anger, frustration, resentment, hatred, it was gone.
This is not a typical thing. But when I followed the word of God above the, um, when I followed the pastor, the servant of God, and the word that he was giving me, which was the word of God from the Bible, above my thoughts, I was able to experience peace, happiness, reconciliation. And now me and my father have a great relationship. You know, I take him out, we go fishing here and there, I take him shooting, this and that. It's, it's amazing. You know, how can we have that? Well, it's only because of the word of God, you know? So these were the challenges that I was facing. But every single time, the pastor was the buffer. When he was there, and I followed his word, I just came to him with my issues, and he gave me the word of God. Never condemning me, never telling me I need to do this or that. All he was saying was, "Well, this is what the word of God says. My hope for you is that you can hold on to this word and move forward with the word of God." And every single time I did, now I have little homies who are youngsters coming to church with me. I have people who are, I'm in an influencer group where a lot of them are not Christian, but we're doing Bible studies every Monday. Like these things, this word of God, just the word of God alone was leading me to do prison ministry, having my friends come to church, etc., etc. It wasn't anything that I was doing. So that's what I was really like challenged with. But when I stepped up and moved forward with the word of God, like he was taking care of everything for me. It wasn't anything that I did.
What was your mom's reaction? Because she invited you, not even thinking that you would come in, and not even really, you know, uh, planning for you, uh, for you to be ministered by the pastor. But, yeah, what was her reaction that she was seeing this and now, you know, obviously seeing what, what the Lord has done in your life?
You know, my mom was crying tears of joy. She was like, "Hallelujah!" You know, really. She was like, "I never thought that my son, me, you know, would be sitting next to me, captivated by the word of God and accepting that he is perfected." You know, my mom used to call me "little monster" right, as a kid, because I was a monster. I was, I was bad. I would fight all the time. I was, you know, doing just evil things. And my mom saw no hope inside of me. But I remember that day, my mom rejoicing because she's like, "Pastor, the word of God is true. It's always true."
What Pastor told my mom, unbeknownst to me, I didn't know this, but he told my mom that, "As much as you care about your son, as much as you want your son to go to heaven, who do you think loves him more? Cares about him more? And wants him to be in heaven more?" And then she's like, "God." Amen. He said, "So is God more capable than you? And more able?" "Absolutely." "So give up your parenthood, basically. Give it up to God. God will raise your children." And it says in the Bible, "God, I will raise your children, and great will be their peace, right?" And then when I thought about that, amen. You know, when my mom fully let me go and was like, "Okay, God," he started to work. And now, you know, I'm a gospel preacher. I'm a person who tries to evangelize. I never thought a walking gang member like me would ever have anything to do with church, would ever want to go back to prisons and help people. But it was really through the grace of God. But it was my mother's faith, actually, that really impacted me.
And he told her the story of Lazarus. When Lazarus was dead, he said, "My mom's name is Sandy. He's like, Sister Sandy, think about it. Lazarus was dead in the tomb for four days. Did Lazarus have faith? No, he couldn't. He was dead. But the people around him, Mary and Martha, had faith. And in the end, what happened? Everyone in their eyes was seeing Lazarus dead. He stunk, he rotted, whatever, for four days. But Jesus' word said he was sleeping. So who was right? Jesus was right." You know, he hopped out of the tomb when, you know, Jesus called him. So likewise, your son, doesn't matter if he has faith. My mom was like, "What?" But the faith that you have is con- uh, it's concurrent with Acts chapter 16 verse 31. It says, "Believe on in the name of Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household." That's what it says. So when that word entered my mom's heart, my mom no longer started to stop me from doing anything. She put all of her faith inside of God. And that's what changed me.
Wow, my goodness. How long have you been walking with Jesus now?
Ah, since 2015. So it's about eight years.
Years now, man. Take us through the last eight years, because like you said, you're in some influencer groups. Your testimony actually went viral through a secular platform, and then you use that to continue to share the gospel, not only in in Christian platforms, but many secular platforms. But for the people who haven't seen any of that, and, you know, this is the first time, them hearing you, seeing you. Sure. What can you say, man, that God has done in these last eight years as you've been walking with him?
The one thing that God has done was continuously bless me. You know, when I understood that, you know, all of our thoughts are only evil, and, um, even the ones that I think are good, it caused me to lean on the word of God. And through that, a lot of things have happened. You know, I'm from a gang that has rivals. Just because I'm Christian in these past couple of years doesn't mean that they forgot what I did back when I wasn't a Christian. But for a little bit, I had a thought that I should carry my gun, you know, because I wanted to protect myself. Yeah, I'm Christian, but I still got to be on my P's and Q's. I had this struggle internally. But Pastor told me, you know, "Put that down, Johnny. It's okay. People who live by the gun die by the gun, basically, right?" And that is proof that you don't have faith in God. God is here to, he wants to walk in front of you, and he will make all of your crooked paths straight. He says, "So God is with you until the ends of the earth. Wherever you are, Johnny, God is with you." You know?
So when he kind of challenged me to do that in, in my spiritual life, in my faith, you know, the first week I put down the strap, something happened, you know, where, like, people recognized me from the past. I had hurt somebody's brother, a family member, and, um, that person was coming to get me, essentially, you know? But long story short, God was there, and he was able to have these people come up to me and see, like, the platform that I was on, which was Software Underbelly, and these different, like, secular platforms, go, "You know what, bro? Although you did what you did, you handled your business back in the day. This is an enemy, right? The enemy, right? Opposition. But he said, the emptiness that you feel, you felt, bro. I feel." And he shook my head and he said, "The way you explained it, nobody ever explained it that way, and I respect you for that." So essentially, bygones be bygones. That is only God can do something like that, because this is a, not this is not a believer. This man, from what I understand, is a Buddhist. One thing that resonated with him was the issue of sin and the core of his heart, which was emptiness. And when he saw me, he said, "Bro, you're representing for us. You're giving us a voice," which is these Asian gang members and just Asians in general who are Christian and people who are going through the struggle. And when I thought about that, you know, I sat in my car and I cried. And I was like, "Wow, God, you know, you're utilizing a person like me." You know, my thoughts are truly evil. What if that day I did have a gun and this man approached me, and I trusted what I thought, "Oh, he's coming," and I unloaded on him? Well, I wouldn't be here doing a testimony. I'll be back in prison, or maybe I would have got shot, right? But when I think about it, I'm so thankful that as hard as, as hard as it is, like my thoughts being right, and putting them down every single time I went against what I thought and believed the word of God through the servant, it just blessed me in so many ways. And now, you know, it's starting to patch up these rivalries. Years of bloodshed are starting to kind of dissipate. And it's through these testimonies that I'm doing. And, and now I'm meeting with different people, you know, meeting with people who, like I said, who are enemies or who are, you know, opposing teams, and we're all like coming together. And there's a lot more peace, you know, in my neighborhood. And, you know, I just, I'm so thankful. Like, that's that's been happening.
The second thing that's been happening is going to prisons, um, you know, where Lancaster State Prison, and a lot of their, you know, fights and and violence rates have kind of like declined, you know, and it's because when I go in there, we're preaching the gospel. I don't tell murderers and and ex-convicts to stop doing what they're doing. What I say is, "Do you know what Jesus did for you? Like, truly did for you? Do you know that your thoughts condemn you every single day and they tell you that you're a sinner, which breaks your spirit? And when your spirit is broken, you cannot heal from that. So you, you, you, you generate this heart of, whoa, shoot, if I'm already like this, there's no hope. I might as well just do whatever I want to do because there's no hope anyway." And that's what Satan wants, is to break our spirit through our thoughts, right? So I tell them, "No, you're perfect." They look at me like I'm crazy. "What? Perfect? Johnny, you don't know what I went through. You don't know the crimes. You don't even know what I'm in here for. I'm in here for double murder. How can I be perfect?" "Yes, you did that." And then I bust open the Bible and I explain to them that it's not you. There's a sin inside of you. In order to get rid of that, there's that. And then I explain to them, "There's no condemnation in this world." Romans chapter 8, verse 1. "God did not come to this world to condemn the world, but to save the world." If Lord is your savior, he, meaning he saved you from something. What do you think he saved you from? And right there, the light bulbs come on. They're free from the burden of sin, the responsibility of sin, and they start to live better. So we're impacting each person individually and creating pillars and vessels out of them, and they're able to also preach to other inmates. And things are getting better within the prison. These are level three yards, level four maximum security yards, even on level two yards, minimum security. It's, we're planting hope inside of people. Whereas other people are telling you, "Don't do this, don't do that." That's like telling a meth addict, "Stop doing meth." It's not going to do anything for them. We have to provide the tools. We have to provide them hope inside of their heart to overcome these things. That's what Pastor did to me. And that's what I do, literally from 2015 all the way until now. It's the same thing. It's the same routine, providing hope inside of people's hearts. So that's why you had mentioned when I'm at these secular platforms, I'm always going to draw it back to God. I have to, because that's just what it comes down to. You know, I, yeah.
Johnny, who is Jesus to you?
Jesus to me is the way, right? The way, meaning the only way, the truth, and the light. You know, he's the only way to God. And Jesus to me is everything, because without him, I'm nothing, you know? Honestly, if you strip away Jesus from Johnny Chang, if you strip away God from Johnny Chang, would I be able to even boldly go and preach this gospel? This gospel is not my gospel. It's the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It's the good news, right? So Jesus to me is literally the light, the truth, the way, meaning without him, I have no way. He is my way. Without him, I have no truth. And without him, there is no light in my life. That's who Jesus is to me, you know? He is my savior, and he saved me from what? Addictions, gang banging? Yes, that's all fine and dandy. But what he really saved me from was sin. He washed me, he cleansed me, and he went into heaven, Hebrews 9:12, and obtained eternal redemption for us, for me. That is who Jesus is. He is my Lord, you know? He is my savior. And truly, without him, I am nothing. I, I, I would probably be strung out on skid row, or I would be dead, or I would be in prison for life. Without Jesus, that's who I would be, honestly. Those are only my three destinations. But because I have Jesus, I can live his life. To me, like I said, so that's what Jesus Christ says to me. And I hope that my hope is that people see that's who Jesus is for everybody, not just me.
Yeah, Johnny, I think you've pretty much touched on on any other question that I could probably ask. But I'll, I'll say for that person who is watching right now and, and is not walking with Jesus, what can you tell them?
You know, I would tell them that it's okay. Number one, that if you understand what true sin is, um, the burden of sin is not placed on us. Of course, you know, we should repent and turn back to God. But God, he loves us, you know, he's always waiting for us, you know? And there are things in this world that we may be chasing for anyone who's out there, whether it's money or fame or just calm lifestyle, whatever it is, you know, the true peace actually comes from God. And I pray and I hope that, you know, God enters into everyone who's listening, you know? God doesn't want to lose anybody. That was not his will. He wanted to sanctify us. So I want them to understand that that emptiness and that void that you feel, we will continue to feel, because that can only be filled by the spirit. So yes, run your course. Of course, I had to go through prison. I understand, you know, but eventually, I believe God will make it a master of everybody. So I don't want people to feel condemnation. I want them to understand that there will be conviction, though. There will be a heart of like longing, and that longing is from God. Take it from me. I'm a person who's been through the lowest of the lows. I've been through hell on Earth, which is prison, and I didn't find anything. I didn't find anything. And if this all led me back to God, so I believe it is all part of God's plan for some people to stray and do this and that. But God is what the Alpha, which meaning the beginning, and he's also the Omega, which is the end. In the meantime, we may be straying and doing these things, but it starts with God, and it ends with God, whether we wanted to or not. And that is the truth, you know? So I pray that everyone who's listening, especially the people who are either non-believers, if you feel that emptiness and that void, and you've tried everything to try and fill that void, maybe you can give it a shot, you know, and give God a shot. And what I mean by that is, you know, he gave me hope and happiness. That same God that loves me and helped me, I believe can also help you and will help you. And that's, that's my message to the world.
Johnny, for those people who are one foot in and one foot out, and this is who the ones who say, "Hey, I'm a Christian, but may not be fully, you know, in." What's a word of encouragement that you can give to those who are watching, re-watch this testimony and take notes?
One foot in and one foot out, again, is from sin, right? God doesn't want us to love the world, right? He wants, we can, we're in the world, but we're not of the world, right? Um, so we have to understand our true identity. You know, we are perfect. If we are perfected, and we get to go to heaven, it is not a license to sin. What God wants us to understand is, it's to build a relationship. Just like people who get married, it's to deepen their relationship of marriage. When we receive salvation, it is to deepen our relationship with God. So if you do feel that you're one foot in and one foot out, God does not want that. That's not his will. He gave you salvation so that he can have a better relationship with you, you know? Living with God, who created money, happiness, wealth, wisdom, everything. How much happier would it be to be with that person who created all of those things? You know? But I understand that temptation is there. I understand that the world, just to understand that Satan is very much alive. We can see it all throughout the media. But what God wants us to understand is that he has made us perfect. And he says, "You are the light of the world. You are the salt of the earth." He says, "You are redeemed, right? You are a new creature." He doesn't say, "Try to be a new creature. Try to be the light of the world." He says, "You are." So when you take that by faith, "Hey, I am the light of the world." Well, does the light walk in darkness? It does not, you know? Does salt lose its flavor? It doesn't. It doesn't. And, you know, we are new creatures, not a process of being made a new creature. No, by faith, Jesus made us a new creature. So when those thoughts come and tell us to stay one foot in and one foot out, we love the world, we can fight that. "No, this is not who I am. This is Satan trying to tell me and pull me away, draw me back to perdition." But we are not those who draw back to perdition, but believe to the saving of the soul. So we are the light of the world, right? And also, it's not anything that you have to do, but you have to realize what Jesus told Peter. He said, "I will make you a fisher of men." God has to do it. God is the one that will make us insufficient. He didn't say, "You go and be a fisher of men." He said, "I will make you." So if you have faith that God will help you, even though you're one foot in and one foot out, that faith will change your perspective. It will change you from going one foot out and one foot in to being all the way in and living by the standard in the will of God.
Johnny, any last words for people who are watching on the other side of the screen? Uh, final words and final thoughts?
Are you know, if you guys don't get anything from this long testimony, because I tend to talk a lot, um, but I want you guys to realize that if God is saying that we're perfect, if God sent his only son who didn't fail, and he made you righteous forever, would it be smart to follow him or follow our thoughts? We have to make a choice. And I pray today, if you're watching this, please make that choice that, hey, I'm not going to follow my thoughts anymore, which are only evil and constantly changing and are deceitful above all things. I'm going to follow the word of God that never changes. It is living, right? It's the Living Word of God, the Bible. It is God, guys. John chapter 1, verse 1. "In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God." So what it's saying is, when you accept these words exactly as it is, you're accepting God. That's what it means to accept. I pray that, you know, truly we fight the thoughts of condemnation, the thoughts as Satan plants inside of us, like he did Judas Iscariot, right? John 13, verse 2. He wants us to realize that, you know, what does the word of God say versus what do our thoughts say? And I pray that in front of that, please choose the word of God every single time. No matter how right your thoughts feel, no matter how right your thoughts look, please throw that away and accept the word of God above your thoughts. And that's what I, what I can say.
Johnny, for the people who are watching on the other side of the screen and are ready to give their life to Jesus, could you just close us up in prayer, keeping them in mind?
Absolutely. Absolutely. Heavenly Father, truly we're thankful that you allow us to live today to experience this true precious gospel, Lord, that we are perfected forever, that we are righteous. Lord, I pray, God, that nobody uses this as a license to sin, but rather as a, a stepping stone to have a relationship with you and build a relationship and deepen that relationship with you. Let your words, God, sink inside of our hearts and take root, Lord, and allow it to grow inside of our hearts. Please nurture us, God, through the word. Lord, if there's anyone who's not, not a believer, God, I pray that through these testimonies today, God, you can touch them with the heart and let them understand the true nature of sin and what's causing them that disconnect, Lord. You, God, you want to be connected to everybody. You love everybody, but there is this wall of sin that is dividing us, Lord. Father God, I pray that you allow that to be crumpled down today in any one of the listeners' hearts today. Anyone who really needs you, God, if they have any issues, Lord, any questions, please allow them to reach out as well, God. We are here, Lord, to push on your message, God, and advance the kingdom. Lord, if there's anyone who's struggling also with their faith, they're fallen, you know, away from you, who are deceived, thinking that they have to do something and maintain this law, Lord, please give them the heart that, you know, without this law, without you, God, this, this, there's nothing we can do for our sin. God, truly, God, if we just follow the law, right, and, and, and we did well, God, why did you have to send your son? Please allow them to understand that through the blood, all sin is cleansed, Lord. Please allow them to believe that, God, and through that, I pray that you've changed them, Lord, as you've changed me, as you've changed brother Eric. I pray, God, that you change these people who come to us and allow them to understand that they are righteous, God, and your righteousness and your grace and your mercy is so abundant, God. You don't want anybody to fall away, Lord. And also for their families, people who are struggling, the believers that do have families that are going through it, that have lost their hope in you and have, you know, turned away from you, God, please I pray that you pull them back to you, Lord, through this precious word, through our testimony, through your will, God. Don't let anybody, you know, slip through the cracks, God. Thank you, Father God. We leave everything in your hands. And in Jesus name, we pray. Amen.