Transcription
It was Confucius who said, "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." In other words, if you don't even know that you're boring, how can you ever hope to fix our society?
It's like a giant forest, and if you're looking from above, you'll only see a few trees that rise above the rest. These are the tallest trees, the most noticeable, the trees that would be remembered by many. So what then are all of the other trees doing down there? Well, the answer to that question is simple: they're being boring.
Now, we all have moments where we want to live in our comfort zone and be boring. During this time, we might reflect on our life and where it's going. This is great when we're alone, but when we're around others, ask yourself: Do you want to be the tallest, most noticeable tree in the forest, or do you want to be the part of society that nobody notices?
You might not believe this, but you are an incredible person, and you have your own story to tell—a story that is unique to you and only you. You're about to learn a few psychological tricks that you can start using right away to stop being boring and become a person that authors will remember and actually have fun with.
I've mentioned in other videos that most people are followers and not leaders. One of the main goals with this channel is to help the 200,000 of you who want to be more than just followers; those of you who don't want to get lost in the static and mundane. The cold, hard reality is that being boring is one of the fastest ways to lose dates, sales, and even friends.
Think about the beautiful girl at the coffee shop who has been approached by 30 different guys today. When everything is said and done, she will probably only remember one of them—the least boring of the group, the most memorable. Think about the guy who wants to buy your product; he was approached by 10 different contractors. Out of those 10, take a guess who is most likely to get his money?
The problem is that boring is the default setting. Why? Because it feels good. It feels incredible to be boring because, as humans, psychologically, we love to live in our comfort zone. Our brain naturally tries to stay within its comfort zone, and this same mechanism, which is designed to preserve our life, can actually give us many problems.
Another cold, hard truth about humans is that we're naturally ridiculously lazy creatures. Every single thing that we build is designed to make us lazier. When is the last time you saw a dog or cat riding around in a fancy box on wheels? Since we're naturally lazy, it takes a lot of energy to not be boring. It takes effort to live your life in a way that makes you memorable, likeable, and fun to be around. But those of you who can pull it off might just find that life has a way of working out in your favor.
Tip number one: Wake up, go to any public location, and look at the expressions on people's faces. You'll probably notice that maybe only one or two people out of every 10 look like they actually wanted to get out of bed today. Emotionally, most people are flatland. This is especially true during conversations; they ask the same boring questions and expect the same predictable responses from other people. Whenever you meet someone new, or you're around friends or family, all that you have to do to not be boring is wake up. And when I say "wake up," I mean emotionally. The goal here is to make people excited when you're talking to them; give their brain an emotional jump, something to remember. Ask them questions they don't expect, or do something—anything—to give them that emotional jump that all humans crave.
Tip number two: Show genuine interest. So many of our conversations with people, when we are in default mode, are boring, and you can tell because each person doesn't genuinely care about what the other is saying. Bonus tip: Boring routines and a lack of interest combined are one of the top reasons why many romantic relationships end up failing. Psychologically, one of the most basic human needs is the need to feel important, and everyone wants to feel important. Some people achieve this goal by driving like a wanker on public highways, and others fulfill the need in more constructive ways. When you fulfill this most basic need for a person by showing genuine interest in them and what they are actually saying, you instantly become less boring. To show genuine interest, look at them with a care look on your face, as if you can't wait to hear every word they have to say. Think about some of your closest friends; you probably liked them because, for the most part, they're interested in what you have to say. To be less boring around anyone, exit your comfortable default setting; listen to what people are saying and actually show them with your body language that you're interested. In a society where people are falling down manholes in the street because they're always looking down at their smartphone, showing genuine interest can be hard, but it's not impossible.
Tip number three: Nod your head three times. Studies show that nodding your head three times slowly when talking to someone can actually make them talk to you three to four times longer than they would if you didn't use the trick. This psychological trick is very powerful because it basically says to them, through body language, "Keep going" or "Keep talking."
Tip number four: Be spontaneous. If you take a look at the two guys who are taking over YouTube right now, what do you think it is about them that keeps people watching? If you guess that their popularity comes from being predictable and boring, you are right—just kidding! The real reason why these guys keep people entertained is because they're spontaneous. In other words, it is exciting to be around them, or even just to watch them, because you never know what they're going to do next. If you're too predictable, your good friends will probably still like you, but you'll just be really boring to be around, so they'll probably choose to hang out with people who are less boring most of the time. Think about the traveler archetype mentioned in my other videos; now, he doesn't have a boatload of money, but his lifestyle is the definition of spontaneous, which most girls find very attractive. If you were to look at all of your current friends, you probably choose to hang out with the ones who are the most spontaneous or those who have the most spontaneous life. Stop being too predictable—it's an excellent way to make your girlfriend lose attraction for you. To implement this tip, start doing one or more spontaneous things every single day around people. Sure, you can always be like Ziz and jump down and do push-ups at night in the middle of a crosswalk while cars are waiting to go, or you could just go to the movies with your girlfriend, set up the same old bar that you go to every weekend. They say that variety is the spice of life, and they were definitely onto something.
Tip number five: Be curious. Think back to a time when you were curious about everything and couldn't get enough of life. So many of us, as we grow older and get sidetracked with bills, school, and just trying to keep a roof over our head, we forget to stay curious. We slide into default mode and forget to actually get excited about everything in life. Don't be the guy or girl who has to have a near-death experience to suddenly remember what it's like just to simply be alive and curious about things. Boring—this is the default mode for most people because it's comfortable and it comes naturally. But if you want to be remembered, boring is something that you should strive to overcome. It was Confucius who said, "Men's natures are alike; it is their habits that carry them far apart." If you make a habit out of not being boring around others, you might just find that things tend to work out in your favor most of the time.
At the end of the day, we're all trees in the same forest, so the question that you need to ask yourself is: Do you want to be part of the tallest trees that stand out, or do you want to get lost among the many that nobody remembers? Let me know in the comments at what time you find yourself being most boring, and what's that. Until next time, thank you guys so much for watching.