Transcription
Today we're reacting to another Kevin Samuels video. You already know his takes are controversial. So, let's react to it. To it, break it down and see if we agree or disagree.
Man, when you talk about high value men, um those that are I have friends and the men that I've dated, a lot of things you are spot on. They're they're very big on images. Um they are big on being catered to. I'm a woman who used to desire those type of men. I don't really desire them that much because I don't want to fulfill what they desire. And one of the things you mentioned it the other night is you got to share that man. A lot of times that man if he makes 400,000 or more, he may have another woman. And [music] I know I cannot deal with that. So I think a lot of women sometimes say they want these men, but they've never dated it because if they had, they wouldn't be just focusing on the money. There's a lot of women that have men with money, but they're not always happy either.
Well, okay. So, the follow-up question to that would be if you that's the kind of man you would like to have. You just don't like that aspect of it.
Well, I would say this. Um I'm I'm 41, right? So, when I listen to the women when I was in the 30s, when I heard the girls here, they remind me of myself because I was like, he got to have a lot of money. Um he got to take care of all the bills. That's what I was on. and I run in those circles. But what I've learned is a lot of those men just couldn't be faithful. So then I learned, well, that's my deal breaker. Faithfulness is my deal breaker. So I've been
So my the question I have then is
because I hear what you're saying, but then I also like Yeah. Uh that sounds good.
Okay.
Because uh you 41 years old, married, any kids?
Nope. I froze my eggs though, so I got a safety net just in case.
So, so [music] you're you're accustomed to a certain standard of life.
This is true.
Uh, and if a man is making the median of what a black man is making, 42,0005, he can't afford your standard of life.
So, is that my problem?
Uh, see that? No. It's it's the reality of the world. See, what happens far too often, especially in our community, is black women wait too long to get married. You wait till you're too old. You wait till you have too much experience and your your experience and your income has gone up and that is inversely proportional to your sexual marketplace value.
So, can I speak to that?
So, let me let me finish making the example because cuz I hear women come on and say, "You know what? That high value thing, I really don't want that because I don't want to have to share him." All right. But then, are you going to be able to look at a man making $45,000 a year and respect him to the same level that a highv value man would be respected?
Um, I would respect a man who's hardworking and as long as he doesn't try to minimize me in any way. Now, that's that's the biggest thing. If if he's okay with me being my full self,
you didn't answer whether or not you respect him to the same level you respect the high value man.
Well, let me tell you this. I'M GONNA SAY YES ONLY BECAUSE I'MMA tell you this. I've dated high value men. I've dated the men with the Rolls-Royces and all the cars and all the glitz and glamour and they always thought because they had the cars and the glitz and glamour that you got to bow down to them. And
I get I get it. But I'm talking about the men who's working at the post office.
I would say now I'm going to tell you my requirements. I want you to be attractive. So if you're a guy that's working at the post office and you're attractive and you
Hold on. Let me time out. Time out. Why do you want to be attractive? I can't have nothing. I'm
uh No, let me explain. See, this is what's so wrong with so many of our women. You're the supposed to be the attractive one, not us.
Black women today have adabistic mating standards. Very primitive. Meaning, I want you to look good. So, he can make $40,000 a year as long as he look good.
I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that um he can make $40,000 a year. I'm not
That's what most black men make. 42,5.
Okay. So Kevin, what is So are you saying in your perspective that it's over for me then? [music] I don't have
No, it's not. No, what I'm saying is your price is too high.
How is my price too high?
Okay. Uh well well first of all you asked me and I'm going uh you're you're 41 and unmarried.
Freezing.
By choice. By choice.
Yeah. That's so No.
Well, no. I can say that. I was once engaged when I was in college. Okay.
You okay? You No,
I just got
See, this is what I mean. The engagement queens. You can't make this [ __ ] up.
Wait, don't over talk me. No, don't no. I said if we could start giving black women credit for engagements. Y act like that [ __ ] matters. I'm not married, but I'm not by choice. Unless you're turning away proposals of men of value and esteem, it doesn't matter. [music] Y'all talk around like y'all are unmarried when ain't no when ain't nobody that you want to marry trying to marry you.
Kevin, can I speak to that?
No, because I haven't got to my point. Because I haven't got to my point.
I'm being
Okay, you got Okay, you asked me why is it over for me? That's what you asked.
But I want just to say one thing. Okay, I don't
Let me get to my point, dude. Let me me
I didn't even This is why it's over for a lot of sisters, too. Look,
you can be right all you want to. Men control access to marriage. And one of the major reasons that older women are getting passed over for younger women is you're too masculine. You're too bossy. You're too opinionated. That works well in the corporate world when you're making other people successful and rich and fine. But it does not work well when you're trying to connect with a man. Why is it over for many women your age? One, because your income has risen. And females have evolved. Evolutionary biology says women want men to have at least what they have. The older you get, the more money you make, the more education you have, the more resources you get, thereby inflating your estimation of yourself. But that estimation is not is not your sexual marketplace value. It is going down.
Can I can I respond? I want to be respectful because it's your
point. But but do you understand that example I just gave first proportional relationship?
I understand but I can [music] I can I speak now cuz I was being I'm being respectful. This is your platform. So I definitely want to honor your rules. Um I just got out of a relationship in January and I could be married right now if [music] that was my goal. But I would rather be happy than just married to say I have a husband. And I don't think that should be looked down upon. I don't think that's that's my honest truth. you could, you know, feel away. But that's an honest truth. I was in a relationship that he wanted me.
How long were you How long you How long were you in it?
We were We were together since last year, 8 months.
Okay.
And he was ready to be married very soon, very early on. And I I don't want to be married just to be married. I'm not going to live with fear and say, "Oh, okay.
Do you want to be married?
Huh?
You want to be married?
Excuse me.
Do you want to be married?
I want to be happily married. If I get married, it's going to be because
Do you want to be married?
Oh, did he want to be married? Yes. He
Do you want to be married?
I would be married to If it makes sense. I'm not gonna be married just to be married. And I'm And I don't I don't feel like
Okay. All right. All right. So again, I've asked you, do you want to be happily married? And you I want to be Are you going to be married? I want to be happily married. Ma'am, I'm going be honest. I don't care about your happiness. I don't care about your love. Marriage is a practical choice. And you can make all these things you want, ma'am. And yes, but you're 41, but you're going to be 50 just like that.
I know I will be.
So the question becomes, if you want to be married, I mean, let's be real. You're freezing your eggs for a reason. Why?
I did. Because I didn't want the pressure to just go out and get pregnant because of my age and my clock. Men have that.
Who's going to carry the baby?
I mean, I I mean, if if I can't carry the baby, then I'll get a surrogate. I mean, it happens. So, so, so, so again, but in order for all that to happen, you have to have a man that you deem worthy propose to you.
Okay? And that's and and
hold on, hold on. Okay?
That man, if he could meet your high standard, he can meet a lot of other women's standard as well. And here's the problem. There are hundreds of you, thousands of you. Why should he pick you over the one that can carry her own babies at 24 or 25 or 26 who are willing to get on his program who don't have as many expectations as a woman your age?
Well, if listen, this is what I will say. If if he wants to if he feels the way that you're feeling, then he's not the man for me. And I have no problem with that.
He see I don't see I don't see that's that's almost that passive aggressive sign language.
Can I ask you a question? Do you want me to feel Okay. Do you want What? That passive aggressive sign language, that whole if he's not the man for you, that's that's I don't play that Tyler Perry Christian crap. That's not it. I don't do that over here. You can do that over there, but I don't do that over here.
Okay, Kevin, I'm being respectful. [music] I really am. I'm trying.
You going to have to be respectful. Here's the thing. You're being respectful is what you're supposed to do. You're not doing me a favor.
Okay. I wanted Okay, I wanted to have a conversation. Um, I'm hoping we can have a conversation. So, I guess my Am I Am I at the ability to ask you a question? Is that fine?
It's about the topic. Sure.
Okay. So, what do you want me to accept? Because from your
I want you to accept I want you to accept your sexual marketplace value.
Okay. So, so what does that equal to? So, what is what are you saying that I need to accept?
Okay. But what a sexual marketplace value of a 41y old woman is lower than a 31 year old woman. Okay. Is lower than a 21-y old woman because if a man wants to have multiple children, he cannot have them with you carrying them.
Okay, that's true. And I don't want to have multiple children. So I
But I said if a man wants to have multiple children, I don't care. See, you keep going back to what you want. You control access to your body and for a time frame women control access to whether or not kids are born. But see what older women especially accomplished women have a hard time accepting is your value has a a shelf life after 35 year geriatric pregnancy. If you met a man that you found that you thought was the bee's knees and he wanted three children, you can't carry them.
Okay. But Kevin, I would say this, right? Can I just say that?
Is that true?
I I agree with you. I'm not
so So he So So he would have So either he would have to forego having the children in his legacy or he'd have to go find someone who could
or it could be a man that might already have children and doesn't want children.
Not my example. That's not my example. That's not That's a different example.
Can I just say this? I I I I respect your insight. I really do. That's why I came on your platform. But I'm not going to allow what you think is going to be for my life to be my life.
Okay. If you allow what I don't know you, lady,
right? Is that Well, my name is Kendra. You said my name.
A lady. Kendra. Ma'am, I don't know you. So, and the thing is I'm not going to allow you to start getting upset because
I'm not Kevin. I'm not upset. I've never I'm not upset.
You came to my platform and answer you as my opinion. Okay. So to tell me what you're not going to allow me to do, that's not necessary.
I I wasn't trying to be rude. I was just ultimately
But what would you call it? What would you call that? I'm not going to allow what you say [music] to do what?
Because I mean, listen, I I I hear you. But I don't There's plenty of women that I know that have had babies in their 40s, that have gotten married in their 40s. It it it can happen. So
we talking black women?
Yes, I'm clocking black.
Yeah. One in four black women will marry. One in four black women will marry in their lifetime. So you telling about the aged black women who marry are 40 and have babies. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry.
That is unfortunately. And here's the thing. If you're waiting till your 40s to marry and have babies, you did something wrong in your 20s and 30s.
I mean, well, I I will say this. I focus on my career, which I know you feel [music] could be something wrong. I have no regrets. I have no regrets in the
I don't feel like there's anything wrong. I don't feel like there's anything wrong. Let me go ahead and turn. Let me tell you, turn your people in the comment section up. I don't I don't care what y'all think. I mean, honestly, I don't look I don't judge by what women want. If you want to focus on your career, do that. But see, one thing that [music] women have not been told in this country is there's cost to all of it. You can't have it all. Men can't have it all. They're trade-offs and choices. If you chose to focus on your career, I am all for that. Do it. But [music] it comes at a cost of your prime childbearing years. I don't make human beings the way they are.
So this is this is this this is the choice women have to make.
I listen I I wholeheartedly agree. And like and I was I was engaged in to my college sweetheart. I went to Hampton and I chose to focus on my career instead of becoming a wife. I have no regrets. [music]
Um and just to I hear what you're saying with statistics. One of my best friends just got married last year. She's pregnant, [music] do any day now, and she's 41 and she's a black woman. So, all I'm saying is, yes, you're right. Maybe the statistics aren't there, but in my reality, in my world, I know women that
anecdotal evidence doesn't change the fact.
Huh?
Anecdotal evidence doesn't change the fact. You know, people like you. That does not change the reality.
Well, well, [laughter] well. Okay. I'm I'm not taking away from that. What what I'm saying is, ma'am,
I'm just saying that
listen to what we're doing in the black. Listen to what we're doing in the black community. Take it away from you. Take it away from your friends. We're actually having a conversation about [music] women having babies in their 40s. That's how warped we've become in the black community because we cannot get it together in our prime mating and marrying years because we value because so many of our women value these so-called careers. Now, I don't doubt that you have a career. But I got to let you know how many women I've talked to over the countless years who t call their job a career. You got a Most people have a job. Most people have jobs. Most people don't have careers. And it seems to be why can Becky, Marisol, Milene, and Anu all go out and have jobs and careers just like black women have jobs and careers and still be able to spin that plate and find a husband? Why can't every other race of women seem to be able to do that? But black women are doing it at a one out of four ratio. And the next closest women are white women who are married twice as much as you are.
And that's married to anybody. You're not marrying anybody.
Can I respond to that? I I hear what you're saying. I hear what you're saying. But I also think that um if women are realistic [music] and they are open to dating and maybe not always focusing on the money and maybe to give up some things on their list, it is possible. I know you said yourself, your mother got married at 50. There's people that do still find love in their 40s. And I just think that I don't want women to feel hope
and her three sisters died alone.
Huh?
And her three sisters are on the way to dying alone. Well, speaking of dying alone, I had a mother who wasn't married when she died, and she didn't die alone. She She died alone.
Do you think Do you think black women have been given the Do you think black women have been given the accurate message for life?
I will say I I will say no. I will say no. I will give you that, but I will say this, too. I There's a lot of things I do agree with you on, Kevin, and that's why I came on your platform. Um, but I will say the die alone things. I don't want to give women I don't think women should be fear um pushing
Oh, I do. I think fear I think I think it need some healthy fear because here's the thing. We when we do this whole coddling don't act like it is what it is. No, we need to tell you smoking causes cancer. We don't need to tell you smoking causes b we don't smoking makes you happy
because cuz I'm looking at our community. Black men are at the bottom. Black women at the bottom. Black boys are at the bottom. We are the only you're the only group of women who stand out proudly saying I don't need a man to make it through life. No other group or race of women is so bold to stand outside and say put all the pressure of the world on me because I don't need him.
Well, I don't believe that. I believe men are very important. I love the black man. My father
is our culture.
Okay, I agree with that. Let me ask you this, Kevin. Do you think a woman, because I hear you talk about settle and I always wondered your answer to this. Should a woman be with a guy who might be cheating on her, not treating her the best? Do you think it's better to have a man than to not have a man at all?
Yeah. I'm not see that's a disingenuous question. See, when you come in setting the table as if is the choice between a negative and a man. I reject that question. Why don't you give it the other way around? Do you think a woman should have a man who actually she can be with and partner with and so forth? Why come in assuming bad faith to begin with? No, I'm not. I'm not.
No. Yes, you did. You came in and gave me a a negative versus having a man. And that means I if he's going to do this, should she choose that? Why don't you give me the other side? Give me the good faith argument.
Well, okay. Well, no, there is a good faith argument, but I just heard you say several times, I think sometimes when
No, what I'm saying is, why didn't you come through the door giving the good faith argument? Why do I have to ask you for it? Well, I think Well, I think naturally if a man is treating you right, if you find a Russell Wilson, what would be the reason for you to leave?
You mean an NFL MVP quarterback? That's the only thing.
Okay, we'll take the money. Or just a man, period, that celebrates you.
What I'm asking you is I don't celebrate you. You're supposed to you supposed to celebrate him.
But what I'm asking you, Kevin, is this, and I'm not trying to be combative. I'm just simply asking you a question, and I'm I'm really trying not to be combative here. Is there some women to try?
There's some women who date men who might not be treating them the best. And I always just wonder because I know you you preach a lot about settling and being with men.
No, I talk a lot about settling because that's what a lot of women talk about all the time when they really ain't settling. See, what I'm saying is I ask you the question.
Okay. I'm sorry.
One of the two things wrong in our community is one, so many of our women come into into interaction with black men in bad faith. You assume the worst, the negative. Ma'am, go rewind this part. You gave me an example. Do you think a woman should settle for a man is cheating on her, abusing her and so forth in order to just have a man? That is a disingenuous French toast ass position when you could have easily come in and gave me the positive good faith. Do you think it would be better for a woman to be with a man who she can actually live with and cooperate with and build a life with or have nothing? You could have made that choice to come in the door. Good faith or bad faith. You chose to come No. You chose to come in bad faith because that is the default position in our community.
Well, no, Kevin. I I just Well, let me Okay, let me apologize if it came across that way because I
It's not No apologies necessary. THAT JUST SHOWS YOU WHERE we are in the community,
RIGHT? BUT WHAT I'M WHAT WHAT I'M SAYING IS there are times though, obviously there's men out there that treat their women good. I know several I know several men who celebrate their wives and they're good men. So I wasn't asking that question because I think I thought that's a no-brainer. If you're with a man that is treating you right, and you could build with, of course you be with him. But there are times when women are dealing with men who are bringing them more sorrow than happiness. And I was just wondering if you think being a single woman in that predicament would be better off than being with a man who might be bringing you drama. That's all I was simply just trying to ask that question. There's three types of men. There's a man that treats you good.
All right. No, no, no, no, no. See, this is what we do too often. We do this too often. Acting as though women don't have accountability and consequences and the men they choose.
No, man. Okay, I'll let you go on for 30 seconds and you say a man should be celebrated. I don't know why black women come in and talk about men should be celebrated. You're supposed to celebrate the man. He's not supposed to celebrate you. What What other race of women runs around talking about them need to celebrate them? What are we celebrating?
Well,
who's on top? Who leads?
Well, Kevin, okay,
who's on top? Who leads?
Um, I I I do say that yes, the man leads. But I have to just speak for the men that I know that are happily married. They celebrate their wives. They do.
All right. Okay.
Listen,
you can Okay, ma'am. But who Okay. This notion is toxic to come. It's toxic to like Yes, it is because it keeps you it keeps women with this overinflated self that they need to be celebrated to where asking women. I yesterday I had a woman on Instagram thinking that being a traditional housewife was tanning them out in slavery just because she had to actually cook a damn meal. I saw that.
So, uh, that's a woman that shares your reflection.
How?
She's black.
Oh, it says my reflection. Okay, that's what you're saying.
Yes. So, my not the notion the way so many women talk as though you're like you're some sort of god or deity is supposed to be celebrated. The way we do it over here is men of value lead. Women of women of value, follow them. You celebrate your man. You praise your man. What y'all do on your side is good for you. Hope it works for you. But more people on this side are winning. More people on that side got opinions and no husbands. Especially no husbands they value. So if you talk about Russell Wilson, I don't know many men on this side that respect Russell Wilson. Not because he married a woman with a child. It's because he's a s.
Why is he a s? Why is he?
Uh because that's an entire program. And here's the thing. How about this? Because [music] the men say he is.
Well, okay. has a female then I want a scent because if there's a man
well then go ahead then you so so so you want to have a so again and thank you guys listen to what she said and she wants to she wants to s she want a s because a man a man like Russell Wilson who put Sierra on a pedestal pedestalizing a woman is I said this three weeks ago show me a culture or race of competitive people where the women were pedestalized above the being and show me a competitive civilization you don't men's purpose needs to be pedestalized, not the female. It doesn't mean that the See, this is the problem. So many women in the black community want to be sitting up like this queen. And if a man is sitting up there looking at you, he cannot fight everybody else, compete with everybody else, and defend the world. Sorry, it doesn't work that way. And that's why so many women, black women, are by themselves because they if they can't be treated like the queens that they think they are, then they'd rather have nothing. And no one's going to stop you because if it ain't because the problem ain't black men. It ain't black men because ain't no man marrying you. When it says one out of four black women were married, that means anybody. So your career, your job, your accomplishments, whatever is walking around making you feel great and wonderful about yourself. That works well until you're about 55 and 60. Then what what's about the rest of life?
Um are you just asking me that direct question? The the point the ultimate point is we get nowhere when we have women who still think they should be celebrated ahead of the men.
Well, I think they should celebrate each other. And well, maybe we have
Who should be celebrating? Who should be who should lead?
I don't I don't mind the man being the head of the household.
What do you mean you don't mind?
That was the wrong answer. Like I think if a man
Okay, so who should throw the ball on? So who should So who should So who should handle the ball? Uh on on the offense side of football, I don't mind the quarterback handler. Who should throw the pass? I don't mind the quarterback. Or is that the quarterback's job?
Okay. I thought I I thought I was giving you the I I think we're giving the same answer. No.
No, we're not. We're not because I don't mind. See, it doesn't matter if you mind or not. It's what it should be.
Okay. So, if the man leaves the household, I don't feel like the female can't have an opinion on anything.
Of course, she can. She's she's value counsel. And I and I do think the man should be celebrated, but I also think and I witness it, men who hold their wives to high value and uh will do anything to protect her and and will say that they will not be the man they are without that particular woman. I had men high value men that you call high value men say things like that. So [music] I know
what women say about their men.
Say again.
What do women say about their men?
Oh, they love them. They appreciate them. They think that they're their king. So it goes both ways. They're they're celebrating each other. I don't think that's a bad thing.
Okay,
listen. I appreciate you bringing me on your show. We're going to agree to disagree on a couple of things. Like I said, Friday night well, one way works and one way doesn't.
Well, I mean, I will say this may well then maybe I live in some exceptions to the rules because I'm just speaking on the things that I
You do. One in four black women were married. You do. And I and I don't know where you where you where if you I don't know if you just look at my show Monday through Friday that that's the world.
Okay. Well, Kevin, can I just say this one thing? I feel like you do give good advice, but sometimes when the women come up here, you make them feel hopeless cuz there's certain things they can't
I don't make you feel anything. You're responsible for your own feelings. I'm not on I I I will take that back. I will retract that. But I would say if a woman has I don't have any kids, but if a woman has children [music] and if she's a certain age and you feel like there's no man out there for her, then what is
So if I if I tell a woman what the the statistics are and what the men that and and if I tell you what the men are saying, see what you don't seem to realize is if I had a drone follow me every day when I go out into Atlanta or around this country, how many men are coming say from from high school to on Walker saying Thank you. Thank you for telling the truth. Thank you for saying what I can't say. Every day, dozens of men, can I take a picture with you? Thank you for telling the truth. I wish. I'm so glad. So, it ain't what Kevin is saying. And see, the problem is so many women are focusing on the messenger, the tone or whatever, you're losing the fact that you're finally getting some accurate information that ain't telling you, don't forget your crown, you a queen, and all this other kind of stuff. Because all those people want to sell you books, sell your dreams. And you talk about leaving hopeless. I think many of women who bought this [ __ ] that these men have been selling [music] and then turn around find out they're cheap just like everybody else and it ain't the men they say then they should feel hopeless. At least I'm telling you two plus two is four. Make a decision what you want. Two two or four.
Okay. Well, that Okay. First of all, you're absolutely right. I know plenty of men that that speak your praises. Um like I even said, there's things that you have said that I have agreed with and things that I know high value is a thing with money. Men with money will tell [music] me certain things that you do tell the people on your platform. So I'm not disagreeing with you there. If there's any disagreement that I would ever have is just the accord of women if they don't they they can't get married in their 40s or
they said they couldn't get married. I didn't say they couldn't get married. What I say is what I say is you have to pick a first of all you're not going to keep I hate when you ladies do this. You oversimplify what I say and then expect me to actually hold that. When have I told a woman that she can't get married?
Well, I I know you have this thing called the danger zone and you want you
What does that mean?
The danger zone. if she's in a certain age bracket, like if if she has kids, if she's overweight, and if she's a certain age, you have
So you So you just So Kendra, you disproven that you don't know what I talk about. That's not what the danger zone means.
So So no, so so so this is what I mean. You're a professional woman and you're in what? You're in media, too, right? You run.
Yes, I am.
You watch my show. I defined the danger zone [music] countless times and you still are saying something it ain't. The danger zone is the years between 27 and 35.
Okay. I [music] Okay. Well, this is what I'm saying.
That's not it.
Okay.
27 and 35 when a woman needs to really focus like a laser on the outcome she want. If you want to be married with children, you need to focus like a laser because after age 30, by 35 you hit what's geriatric pregnancy. That's not Kevin. That's nature. That's biology. See what so many what happens so often is you ladies get triggered. You think you hear what I say. You going to try to make the danger zone be all that stuff. And it was none of that stuff.
Okay? You're going to try to say, "Well, you tell a woman that they're this and they're that, and I never say I don't say that."
Okay,
ma'am. You'll be able to go back. I'm going, this is going to be up. You'll be able to hear what you said. And the fact of the matter is, I don't tell women that they can't. I tell them it's unlikely, depending upon their particular situation. And yes, let me reiterate. If you are a woman over 35, overweight, and with children, it is highly unlikely that you're going to find a man making six figures plus who wants to marry you. Because those men want something in return, too. And they typically don't want somebody else's children. Now, is that making them hopeless? No. What it's telling them is you've made your choice to allow yourself to reproduce one, two times with or without the benefit of a husband. Most of the times without you've allowed yourself to become the physical shape you are. That's your responsibility. It is not this man's responsibility to lower his standards. Settle when he's had to work to become this this thing. No one gave him this. He deserved to get something from this. But see, we're so busy trying to tell women that they should be celebrated that we forget to think about what about your men. We need to start celebrating men, black men, and forget the black men. What about the boys? [ __ ] the men. What What you doing with the boys? All these women with children, what are you doing with your boys? Black boys reading at a fourth grade level. Black boys are behind. Forget us. You don't have to like us, but what are you doing with your boys sitting next to your daughters? And more often than not, women are telling their daughters, get an education, do this, that and so forth, internet. They're making their sons punks, putting them in Jordans and pink shirts, and making them son husbands. and they are raising the same men that you ladies complain about. Prioritizing sooner or later this old nasty old bad old patriarchy, you going to have to realize that it's the one thing that's made this world evolve.
Okay. Can I I know we I know you probably have to go to somebody else, but there's one more thing I want to talk to you about if if you allow it. I know it's your platform. Um the dying alone cuz I feel like the dying alone thing I know my uncle died alone. He he was a man. My father found him dead a day after he was
your father your uncle died alone. He was what?
I said he was a man. So I'm not sure when you talk about dying alone. It can go both ways. Now
see see that's what we start that's what we started off today. Right. That's exactly why we started off talking about.
Is that bad for me to say that?
Yes it is.
How?
Because this is exact. You can't make this [ __ ] up guys. It's always when it gets tight on women. We got to make it always go both ways. This overgeneralization. See, here's the thing about men dying alone. Men have always died alone. They've been called weirdos, hermits, loners. But men at least have the decency to leave everybody else the [ __ ] alone. They'll sit in their cabin, sit there eating uh hungry men or Swanson or ramen noodles. They'll they'll even go homeless. Where do you think all these men out here are homeless? Show me groups of homeless women. Nowhere in the world where women are by themselves do they not require and demand stuff from the state. It's killing Japan. It's killing China right now. Women who are unmarried, living in communes of groups of one another, but then they're getting older and older and older and the state cannot support aged people. It used to be your nuclear family, your extended [music] family who took care of mama and papa and granny and auntie. But now you got adults who are choosing to be independent, making 60, $70,000 a year when they're in their 30s or 40s, doing decent, but they're not living high on the hog, but you don't have no retirement. Are you away illness or one fall from being broke? So dying alone women don't sit around at 50 or 60 years old and not demand government assistance benefits of some sort. They are demanding something on the system. So men are still supporting you and that is going to break a society. We cannot afford it. So like it or not ladies uh when we start seeing homeless o elderly women like we see homeless men then women will start getting the picture because like it or not the coffers are empty. You can't not going to just be cuz many women still think yeah well if it get too bad I'll just go to the church. I'll go to the Jesus house. What about when all that's closed? What about when there's no more resources? Where those women going to go? the same place homeless men have always gone outside.
Do you but do do you believe that marriage benefits men too? Like I know you I know you
do I believe what benefits men
do you feel okay and cuz I know I have to ask my questions [music] very correctly with the words. So I know that you believe women uh marriage is a benefit to women. Do you believe that marriage is a benefit to men?
Like should men try to find wives? like is that important to them or
well it used to be it used to be when women valued marriage and valued men but today uh more often than not women value a man's resources ability to provide that's why I stick in the high value area because I realized that most women don't want a man making $47,000 a year. I asked you that 30 minutes ago. Would you respect a man making 45 $42,000 a year? And the answer you had was no. You you got I didn't say you No, you didn't. No, what you did not do is answer I remember what you did. You get you did not answer directly.
Any man first of all that has a job. So I did say that's not true.
But no, the answer was ultimately the the life the lifestyle.
Would you be willing to lower your lifestyle? Are you willing to lower your lifestyle?
Oh, lower my lifestyle.
Yeah, because Okay. Uh I'm assuming you make more than $42,000 a year.
Yes.
Okay. So, if he's making $42,000 a year, uh, he's only going to be able to pay whatever percentage of his overall income towards the mortgage, the lights, everything else, and even the car. So, if you drive a BMW, what you supposed to get a bicycle?
So, I'm supposed to get a lower car then? I'm just asking cuz that's what that's Let me explain. That's what a man would have to do. That's what a man So that's what a man that's So that's what a man would h that's what a man would be expected [music] to do if a man was earning more than his woman. A the world would expect that man to get him a decent car and her a decent car. The world would look at that man crazy. If he was driving a car that his income could afford and she was riding around in a Honda Civic and he was riding around in a Mercedes. The world would look at him all kind of craziness.
But see now can I say can I respond to that Kevin? That's on the man to have more stability and confidence in himself because if you're worried about the world,
ma'am, ma'am, that but that's not we we can't skip past. No, no, no, you ask, "Is it on me to lower my lifestyle?" Well, if he can't afford to go see a man making less than you is not used to going to eat the places you do, go to do the things you do. So, you're going to have to forego doing those things unless you want to pay for them.
I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying
and I know that and I know and I'm and I'm a and I'm a smart enough man to know that that comes with a woman lacking respect for [music] a man. So we can we can play around this all we want to. You can say I don't want to deal with a high value man if they regard you sharing it with somebody. I would rather do this, but this man over here is not going to get high value man respect. And he's going to always know that this dude was really your first choice, but you didn't want to deal with this. And you're not going to put him at the same level of pedestal that you would have to put this man on a share or or honor him like they need to be. So honestly, is there any value to marriage to average guy today? No. Because modern women are not marriageable like the women of before do not. Modern women today are not ready to be with their mothers where their grandmothers and their great-grandmothers were. They're not. I didn't make it that way.
There there's I guess I I guess I'm going to live in the exception to the rule area.
You can live in exception to the rule and that's fine. You at 41 years old, I I try to do that too. But when I'm talking with people across the board, I I don't do that. When I talk to 24 year old women who tell me that they could not marry a plumber off rip just because of the title plumber and she's a political science major. You what do you want me to tell them?
Is it my fault though that I I built a career? Like that's where I kind of get confused because if I'm not judging the
your choice. It's your choice.
Right. So if I
It's your choice. Okay ma'am. You keep asking me is it your fault? I don't know why you keep asking me that. Your choice. You choose the outcomes. Here's the relate. Here's here's the bottom line for me and and you and everybody. Relationships are reflective. You attract what you are.
Okay, I agree.
So, if the man you were with eight months ago wasn't up to standard, you you allowed him in your
life for eight eight months, eight valuable months at 40 plus. I'll be okay though. I have other I don't have a problem in that area. And one day I'm going to get married coveted and you going to be invited to the wedding and when I have my.
You act like you act like I'm sitting here like you act like I'm sitting here cheering and saying that you're not. But what I'm saying is modern women's estimation of theel man and black women's estimation of yourself is you're more prideful men than than average men.
I'm more prideful.
Black women are more prideful than black women in my opinion, my personal opinion have more pride than most men.
Let me explain what I mean. Let me explain what I mean. Because you ask a lot of educated sisters, the first thing you lead with is your accomplishments. That is a that is a masculine thing. When women when when women that's not a female that's not a feminine thing. Oh, go on my show. I got Where do you think this Where you think this song from?
I'm a PhD.
I'm a PhD. That that came from me asking a woman, "Where's your husband?" What? What husband? I would not choose to be. I'm a PhD. And and the thing is if the ultimate goal for so many of these women is they want to be in a emotionally significant profound relationship having their own children these PhDs these masters these careers especially especially when the truth comes out that they really don't want to have to pay significant bills after they're pregnant and don't want to have to pay but a small portion of the overall financial family load after [music] marriage. Then these careers and jobs are just ego projects. Cuz what you plan on doing is if you get the kind of man you want to get, you're going to jettison it for a period of time anyway while everybody else is working. So these careers are ego projects for most. So if that's what women choose to do, great, do it. But then you come out here at 35, 40 years old, and talk about, "I can't find no man on my level. All these men are beneath me." yada yada yada yada yada. And then act like the problems with the men. No, you waited too long. Your price is too high. Your eggs is dried up. You're [music] out of shape. Your attitude is not where it needs to be. And then you think somebody should value your socioeconomic status when it's actually your looks, fit, feminine, cooperative, submissive, the things it's always been. Okay. [music]
And I get to and I get to be the [ __ ] that says this over and over again because everybody else wants you to buy their seminars and their books. I don't have a seminar or book.
No. Again, like I said, Kevin, the the things that you said on your platform, I have heard men say to me and talk about the things that they won't say to women. So, I have heard those things. So, that's why I said there's a lot of things I I agree with. There's some things I disagree with, but that's life. And I mean again, I don't I don't want no smoke. Kevin, I was coming on your show.
No, no, no. I'm looking for a clip. I'm looking for a clip when I had a woman here from
Okay, you want me to hear a clip? Okay.
No, no. This woman that came on my show and she she's a she's an a successful woman, but she does hair here in Atlanta and she made the example that when she's sitting listening to all these successful entrepreneurs, executives, business women in her chair that they're all complaining about the same thing. I can't find no man on my level. But when you were 35 plus, you should have been out of the game for 10 years. See, what I'm saying is for women who want to have a career or whatever, there's a man out there that you can make a deal with. But the problem is far too many black women did not prioritize finding [music] or being found by a suitable man. They thought they they told they were told focus on this and then when you decide you want to settle down then you can turn around and go get one. That ain't how it works. Every other group of women realize that I need to find him in college [music] in grad school early on in process and then grow with him up. But this is where students come along. You didn't find him when you was in school. So now you get to this point. You don't want no builder boo or builder bread. Okay. So you want this man over here. You want the man who's already in process on his purpose, that don't need nothing from you, who can provide for you. Well, guess what? He wants a whole lot. Cardier don't go on sale, baby girl. I never seen Cardier go on sale. Never seen Cardier go on sale.
Well, I I I I do think women that make a certain amount of money or a certain category have to adjust some of their wants. Um because you are right. The the market value is a little different. my thing and you cleared it up for me because I always thought it was uh you'll never get married and things of that nature, but you cleared that up for me tonight. That's why it's good to have a direct conversation. You never said it would never happen. Um but it can happen. And I just think that um I just want
If you were telling younger, if you were telling women what to do, would you tell them to wait till you're 40 or would you tell them to get [music] prioritize in your early 20s?
Well, let me be honest. I'm a career woman. So, and I feel like my career is who I am. Can I let
If you want to be married and have children, what would you tell women to do?
Can I You going to let me answer? Because I would tell a woman not to have a baby until she's married. [music]
Um I I I strongly believe in being married before you have a child. And um but I wouldn't tell her to do it out of fear. I wouldn't tell her to do it because
what age?
I have to be honest. The age that works for you.
See, see this see this is so this is so vague. Give me a range. Give me a range, ma'am.
Okay. Well, let me say this. This is why I say this. I have college because Kevin, I WANT TO answer the question. I I
This is why young I'm I'm gonna stop you right here, man. I'm going stop you right here and I'm going stop you right here. This is why young women are stop coming to you ladies. This is the woman who called my show last night asked me, "Who are you to be giving all this advice?" And that is 46 year old woman. Young women are stop listening to y'all because you won't tell. Stop. There's a reason there are 32,000 people watching my show and and most a lot of them are women because you're not telling them the tr you won't be direct with them. You won't just tell them, look, if you want to have your career, it's going to cost you. You won't tell them that if you want to get married and have kids, you need to do it before a certain age to have a better shot. You know better, but you won't tell them.
No, no. I Let me Okay. Well, let me let me say this. I was engaged when I was in my 20s to my college sweetheart.
I ain't asking about you.
I feel like Can I Kevin? Let me just give you because I'm gonna give you the answer. And I made a choice. I made a choice not to get married, right? And I don't have kids to this day. So I could say I have regrets because I could be married and have
What age?
That was that was like 25.
What age would you tell the women? I ain't asking about you. And you
I'm trying to answer it, but you won't let me answer it.
No, I just need you to give me the age. [music] I need I need the background. Give me the age. between they're they're they're between the ages of 21 and 50. What age? If you want to get married and have a family, what age should they start prioritizing?
You allow me to answer, Kevin, cuz
Yeah, you No, you I I'm allow you to give me an age. I'm going to end this conversation.
I know a girl that had a baby.
I'm allow you to give me an age. Age range.
I My heaven Oh my god. It was to you. This is why this is why they not listening to you anymore.